05x32 - Banjo-Playing Deputy

[bunniefuu]

Starring Andy Griffith...

With Ronny Howard...

Also starring Don knotts.

That's disgraceful.

To think that they would
commit such a thing.

Why, did you see...?

Oh, please, Emma.

Doesn't the sheriff
know about this?

Well, he soon will know.

Hmph, Arabia!

Well, I can assure you

that's one place
I'll never visit.

Well, anyway, Andy,
I walked up to this booth, see?

It was one of those games

where you throw the baseballs

and you hit the
wooden milk bottles.

Uh-huh. And you
won the doll, huh?

Where do you get a doll
like that for two and a quarter?

They're mighty hard
to come by, Floyd.

I had my choice of this

or an ashtray shaped like
a whale with its mouth open.

I bought the hat.

Oh, it's a nice hat.

Thank you.

Andy...

Sheriff...

Oh, hey, miss Edwards...

Good afternoon, ladies.

Andy, are you aware
of the performance

that's going on at the carnival?

What performance is that?

It's called
the sultan's favorite.

It's a sort of
gootchie-hootchie dance.

Disgraceful.

I didn't see anything
disgraceful about it

and I've seen it six times.

Native dances of the orient.

Very educational.

Educational?!

Now, Andy, we insist that
you do something about it.

I'll go out there
and have a look.

I certainly hope you
do something about it.

I'll certainly look at it.

Please do.

B-Bye.

When are you going down, Andy?

Maybe I'll go with you.

Floyd, you've seen it six times.

Can a person ever get
too much culture?

It would be a shame
to close it down.

This is real art.

Yeah.

Even the music.

It's high time we heard
some of the better things.

The next show is at : .

Tell your friends.

Well, I believe
I'll go talk to the manager.

I believe I'll
wander around awhile.

Maybe catch
the : show.

Hi.
Hi.

I'm sheriff Taylor.

It's a mighty good show
you got here.

I was wondering, though,

if you could kind of
tone it down a little bit.

Tone it down?!

I'm not talking
about any big change.

Look, Mr. Sheriff, I ain't
selling any tickets as it is.

All I'm talking about is

some of that dancing
she does near the end...

I was wondering if

she could throw it
in low gear through that.

Sheriff, she's doing
nothing now.

Well, I know that,
but as long as

some of the ladies
have complained

and I don't want to get in
any big argument with you

so if you'd just, uh,
do what I ask.

Nah. I'll move on.

This ain't the only carny
I can tie up with.

Well, course that's up to you.

Well.

Hey, flossie.

What?

We're packing up.
What, again?!

We'll go down to Charlotte

and wait for
the baker brothers show.

Sir... But that'll be a month.

We'll pick up some one-nighters.

Start stacking the chairs.

Stacking the chairs.

Some sultan's favorite.

Nobody ever said
show business was easy.

Come on, get busy.

Uh, sir?

What do you want?!

Are we moving on
to Charlotte today?

Not you. We can't use you.
I'll take the costume.

Yeah, sir, but you'll need
a band, won't you?

Look, a size banjo player,
I can always find.

I'll take the costume.

I can do other things, too, sir.

I can, uh, uh, stack the, uh,
chairs for you and drive

and change the, uh, uh...

Tires?

...and-and cook.

I used to, uh, at home,
a lot of times

help my, uh... help,
uh... help my, uh...

Mother?

With cooking.

I can't use you.

This is the end of the line
for you.

I'll take the costume.

Uh, sir, about my back salary,

we had a verbal agreement
if you recall

and I certainly thought
it would be binding

and I'd appreciate it... bye.

Oh. Are you hurt?

I'm all right.
I'm all right.

I didn't see you.

You all right?

Yeah.

You're the sultan, aren't you?

Well, I used to be
up till a few minutes ago.

Oh, yeah, he decided
to close the show, huh?

Yeah.

Son.

Say, you don't know
any place in town

I can put up for the night

that's not too, uh...
Too, uh...

Expensive?

We got a nice hotel

that'll run you $ a night.

Oh.

Uh, excuse me.

This is, uh,
none of my business,

but, uh, didn't you get
any pay out of this?

I talked about a settlement,
but we couldn't get together.

I wanted $ , and he didn't want
to give me anything.

Oh. That is pretty far apart,
isn't it?

I would have gotten paid
if we'd stayed open,

but what with the... closing...

Well, I'll see ya.

Well, listen, I got a cot

right over at the courthouse

and you're welcome to spend
the night right there.

Gee, that'd be great.

Then that's settled.

Have you got
any money to eat on?

Well, uh, a little.

I feel responsible for you
being unemployed like this.

Why don't I just
take you home with me

and you eat supper
right at the house?

I wouldn't want to put you out.

No, you wouldn't
put us out a bit,

and I mean it.
Come on.

Okay, then. Thanks.

Where are you planning
to head for tomorrow?

Up north. I think my future
lies in the concert stage.

Oh.
Oh. Thank you.

I got it.

Now, Jerry,
you don't have to do this.

You're a guest.

No, at home, I always
used to help my mother.

That's because there's just

the two of us at dinner

because of my, uh, uh...

Father?

He always worked.

Oh.

Where do you live?

Morgantown.

Morgantown?

West Virginia?

I was born and raised there.

Mercy me! Do you know
I lived there for five years?!

Miller... Miller?

You're not robie Miller's
little boy...?!

Well, yeah, I used to be.

Andy, I know the family!

Oh, for goodness sakes!

Oh, let me look at you.

Oh, yes, yes, you've got
robie's good looks.

Oh, ho...

Yes, you have,
especially when you smile.

Especially when he smiles.

It's frightening. You...

I'll-I'll take these
to the kitchen.

Robie and earlene Miller's
little boy.

He sure is a good waiter.

Andy, you've been complaining

about how busy you are

with the carnival in town

and Barney away.

Jerry's at loose ends.

Couldn't you have him
help you out a bit?

Well, I don't know about that.

Why not? He's eager
and he's willing

and you do need somebody.

Oh, well...

He's nice.

Oh, you go sit right down there
and finish your coffee.

Yeah. I put the dishes
out in the, uh, uh...

Sink?

Yeah.

Um... Jerry, uh...

I don't know
how definite your plans are.

You don't seem to be doing
a whole lot right now.

I could kind of use
a little help

down at the courthouse
for a few days.

Would you be interested?

Me?!

It would just mostly be sweeping

and running errands
and helping out like that.

Oh, gee, that'd be great.

I've always wanted
to work in a sheriff's office.

I wouldn't be able to pay much,

but we could work out something.

Now, here we are.

Oh, good.

Aunt bee, I'm gonna work
in the sheriff's office.

Really?! Oh,
how wonderful.

Well, this is
the kind of job I like.

I know I can handle it.

Well, of course you can.

Well, it's just going
to be temporary.

Just for a few days.

Oh, sure. I understand,
I understand.

Oh, the forks.

Oh, I'll get them, aunt bee.

Oh!

It's the tablecloth.

I thought it was my, uh, uh...

Napkin.

Well, it's nothing at all.

I'll get a towel.

Well, he's just excited
about his new job.

That's all.

Yeah, sure.

I-I dropped the, uh...

Dishes?

Morning, Floyd.

Yeah. Uh...
Good morning, Andy.

Want a peek?

I won this
at the sh**ting gallery.

It's not bad, either.

No, thanks, Floyd.
I've seen them.

Ah, say...

You closed down that show,
didn't you?

No, I didn't close it down.
The fella decided to.

I waited there for hours
for the next show.

Never did come on.

Well, it's no great loss, Floyd.

Where'd they go, anyway?

Well, two of them
went down to Charlotte,

and I got one of them
at the courthouse.

Which one, Andy?

The banjo player.

Ohh.

I'm sorry, Floyd.

I don't know whether you know
what you're doing or not.

♪ I want to do
those little things... ♪

♪ I want to do...

♪ I wanted to say hello

♪ I wanted...
Wait. Wait.

♪ I want to say...

♪ I want to say...

No, wait.
♪ I want to say hello

hi.

Hi.

Just practicing.

Don't like losing my touch.

Yeah.

Well, uh, don't stop.

Go right ahead.

Keeps the old wrist in shape,

especially on a fast one.

That's good. Good.

Kind of a talent,
I guess you'd call it. Yeah.

Oh, there's been a couple of
phone calls out there for you.

A little trouble
over at the carnival.

Starting already, are they?

Yeah, looks like.

Well, I'll look into them later.

I can go over there and kind of
patrol around for you

if you want me to.

Oh, no, you just
hang around here.

Uh, I noticed a uniform hanging
back there with a badge on it.

I always thought someday

I might like to be a... a...

Deputy?

What do you think?

Well, gee, I don't know.

It's kind of a tough job,
you know?

I mean, it's a good job...

You get to meet a lot of people,

help people and all like that...

But it takes a great deal
of experience.

I know, I know.

Yeah, and the badge...

That's more
than just decoration.

Yeah, that means something.

It sure does.

What do you think?

What do I think about what?

About being
a... a... a...

A deputy?

Well... I don't know.

We'll have to... think
about that, won't we?

Yeah.

I got to run over to mount pilot

for a couple hours,

have a couple
these r*fles worked on.

Hold the fort, okay?

All right.

Lock that back, will you?

Sure.

Oof!

Sorry.

Come on and fight!

All right, all right.

Oh...!

All right, put him down.

I've got a badge... sir.

I can't allow this.

Get out of the way.

Watch that. Hey.

Hey, come on, fellas.

Wait a second.
I have a badge.

Get out of the way.

Wait...

Fellas, you have
to break this up.

I have a badge.

Wait, I have a...

I have...

Fellas... I
got this badge.

Fellas...
Fellas, I got...

Wait, fellas.

You're going to have
to break this up.

I have a badge.

I have...

I have...

I'm an officer.
I've got a badge!

I've got a badge!

All right.

All right, break it up, boys.

Hey, fellas! Hey! Hey!

No, no. Break it up.

Go on. That
wound it up.

Go on. Go on, now.

That's it.

That wound it up.

Everybody go back
to what you was doin'.

They didn't see the badge.

Yeah.

Let's go back to the courthouse.

All right.

All right, let's
break it up, ladies.

Just... just give me
another chance, sheriff.

I'll make good.

But, Jerry...

Just give me another chance.

A couple days.
You'll see.

Jerry, you don't have
the experience

to be a deputy,
nor the authority.

Hello, Jerry.
Hello, Andy.

Oh, hi, aunt bee.

Now, Jerry, I'm just
as sorry as I can be.

Just give me
another chance, sheriff.

What happened?

Oh, he went over to the carnival

actin' as a deputy and
nearly got himself k*lled.

I was just tryin' to help.

Well, of course.

Uh, Andy?

Excuse me.

Andy, don't be too
harsh with Jerry.

Too harsh with him?

I've got to get rid of him.

Don't you dare.

I'd never be able
to face robie Miller again.

He'll wind up gettin' me and him

in all kinds of trouble.

Andy, do you mean
to stand there and tell me

that Barney Fife is always
perfect on the job?

Barney's an old friend of mine.

Well, robie Miller's
an old friend of mine.

Well, I.. I...

And don't you send him away.

There must be
something he can do.

He's eager.
He's ambitious.

Well...

If you won't do it for me,

will you do it for robie Miller?

I don't even know robie Miller.

Please?

Well...

And don't be late for supper.

Now, Jerry...

Listen, sheriff, I...

All my life I've had
trouble going with...

Being... authoritative
and havin'...

Uh, my mother used...

I just have trouble
puttin' it into...

Words.

What do you think?

Well, I'll tell you
what I'll do, Jerry.

I... I'll let you keep
working here at the office,

and, uh, I'll let you
handle the school crossing.

Gee, thanks.
That'd be great.

But no badge.

Oh...

No badge.

No badge.

No. Now, let's go.

You got a few minutes
before school lets out.

Now, the crossing's
up that way a few blocks...

The corner of paymore
and rockford streets.

Don't be late.

Right.

Floyd.

Oh, hi, Andy.

I won this, too.

Just like a movie.

Want to see it?

No thanks, Floyd.
I've seen 'em.

Oh, say, that new boy...

Think he's gonna be
much help to you?

Oh, I don't know.

He tries, and aunt bee thinks
so much of him...

Wants to see if I can help him.

He's kind of
on the mild side, isn't he?

I mean, for this kind of work.

Hmm, maybe.

Of course, you're mild, too.

Well, you know
what Teddy Roosevelt said.

"Speak softly
and carry a big stick."

Oh, I... I thought
Calvin coolidge said that.

No, Floyd. Calvin coolidge
didn't say everything.

Oh, I know what
Calvin coolidge said.

"I do not choose to run."

Well, yeah, he said that.

I knew he had to say something
or he'd never

have got to be president.

You're sure Teddy Roosevelt

said that "speak softly
and carry a big stick"?

Yeah. He said that.

Yeah. Well, he had
the right idea.

Come in handy in a g*ng fight.

Just swing it around, and a
fella's bound to hit something.

Well, Floyd...

Yeah, I'd give him one,
all right.

Knotty pine, too.

Hard as rock.

I'm gonna leave it right there.

You are?

Mm-hmm.

I'm afraid I'm gonna have to ask

the sheriff
to give you a ticket.

Give me a ticket?

Yeah, if you don't mind.

I do mind.

Well, they're very reasonable...
Only two dollars.

Two dollars?

If you're short,
I may be able to help you out.

Mrs. Clairburn, would you
mind moving your car?

Oh, now, Andy...

Right now, please.

School crossing.

School crossing.

We won't cross until
it's completely safe.

That's rule number one.
Okay?

Now, make sure
we're all together.

Everybody hold hands.

Hold hands with the boy
or girl next to you.

Now, you wait here,
and I'll go check.

Hey, kids, come back here.

We got to do this right.

Come on, you.

Hold it.

All right, hold it!

This is a school crossing!

This is a school crossing.

Jerry, I... I don't know
how to tell you this,

and I'm just as
sorry as I can be,

but... I don't...
I don't believe

this is gonna work out.

I guess not.

Sorry I didn't come through
for you, sheriff,

but I sure can't blame you for
not waitin' around till I do.

I guess I'm just not cut out
for this kind of work.

Well, maybe I can find somethin'
else around town for you.

No, thanks.

I'll go in the back and change.

Well.

Andy! Andy...

Wh

I went over to the carnival

to check on the Turkey raffle,

and somebody cut my
bag right off my arm.

You sure you didn't drop it?

No, no. It was on my arm
the whole time,

and I had $ in it
and my leather wallet...

Oh, and the gold ring
Bertha gave me.

Well... well, take it easy.

And my membership card
to the women's club

and a rhinestone buckle.

I was going to have it fixed.

And a package of Bobby pins.

Listen, I'll go over...

And a brand-new
orangewood stick.

The bag alone
cost me $ . , Andy.

I... I know.

Imagine someone
stealing a purse.

What is this world coming to?

I know. You run home.
I'll take care of it.

Uh, Jerry, I got
to run over to the carnival.

Ah, there you are.

Yeah, I thought
it was you fellas.

Well, if it ain't
the sultan himself.

What do you want?

I want those purses back.

Blow, kid. Blow.

I'm afraid
I'm gonna have to insist.

Maybe you don't hear so good.

He said blow.

I'm not leaving
till I get those purses back

and that's final.

Why, you...

Hold it!

There they are, sheriff.

Those are the fellas
that took it.

Right here.

So I see.

All right, let's go.

No, wait a minute.
Let's go.

You know the fella

I saw fightin' those
two men, there...

He's quite a guy.

Yes.

Yes, it's all there!

Well, Jerry got it back.

Oh, my goodness,
I don't know how to thank you.

Oh, that's okay, aunt bee.

Oh, when I think of you going
after those horrible men...

You might have been hurt.

He was wading right into them,
I'll tell you that.

Well, I just couldn't stand to
watch 'em take your, uh...

Purse.

Purse.

And I knew I was the one
who could stop 'em.

So I just went over to the...
Carnival.

And I said... I said to...

Myself.

I said, "Jerry..."