03x06 - 1917 Patrol

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Doom Patrol". Aired: February 2019 to present.*
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A team of traumatized and downtrodden superheroes comes together to investigate weird phenomena.
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03x06 - 1917 Patrol

Post by bunniefuu »

[LOUD CRASHING]

[SHIPLEY] As Rita's ship
slipped into the time stream,


she was riddled with fear.

But there was no turning back.

She wanted to be a hero.

As she dove into the very root
of consciousness...


I'm Rita Farr.

... her tree of life blossomed
before her.


[BREATHES DEEPLY]

But as she watched,

Rita was struck by how little
of her life she'd actually chosen.


When was the last time
she followed her bliss?


♪ I'm always... ♪

[SHIPLEY] Rita wept,

and every tear that fell

represented all the shame and regrets,

all the judgy looks and great
harms that Rita had endured.


And then, the most remarkable
thing happened.


With each tear shed,
Rita's memory was purged.


♪ My schemes are just... ♪

[SHIPLEY] Whatever this woman's
dreams and sorrows had been,


by the time she landed in ,
she was a blank slate.


♪ I'm always chasing ♪

♪ Rainbows ♪

[LOUD CRASHING]

[RITA GROANS]

[RITA GASPS]

[RITA SCREAMS]

[WOMAN] Okay, you.

I won't hesitate to give you
the what-now.

But if you're just passing through,
let me be the first to say

welcome to Iowa.

My name is Betty Ann Bucklestone.

Uh... Mmm.

Might I use your restroom?

Uh, can't say about rest.

You might get a few splinters.
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

It's over yonder.

- Okay.
- What's your name, hon?

Uh...

Good question.

[PEOPLE CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY]

There I was picking mushrooms,

when this strange earthly motor carriage

dug right up through my daffodils.

[AGENT WILSON] Lady,
you do not want to mess

with the Bureau of Normalcy.

[AGENT PATTON] Where is the pilot?

I can assure you, I don't
want to mess with anyone,

but it does appear,
I am the ship's aviatrix.

Lady, what do you take us for?

Let's try this again.
I'm Agent Wilson, and you are?

Come on, lady, we don't have all day.

I don't know. I am...
[GRUNTS ANGRILY] I am...

Laura De Mille.

Oh, you're a wisecracker now, are ya?

Please. I'm not trying to
wisecrack anything. I...

[SQUELCHING]

Okay, I've seen enough.

Come on.

[MONSIEUR MALLAH GRUNTS]

[THE BRAIN] Blasted
Bureau bottomfeeders.

Quickly, Mallah, capture
every detail of the vessel

before they haul it away.

Great idea, sir.

I'm The Brain.
All I have are great ideas.

[CHUCKLES] Wonder of wonders.

Something tells me, if I
reverse engineer the sketch,

I can design my own ship.

And then all my plans
for world domination

come into sharp focus.

- [MONSIEUR MALLAH] Our.
- Excuse me?

Our plans for world domination.

[THE BRAIN] Sure.

Stop.

Macaroni. Caroni. Caroni.

I finally arrived.

I don't know why.

[SOBBING]

The Stapler flies at dawn.

Yams.

[LARRY] There, there.

[SHUSHING]

It's okay.

- It's okay.
- Come.

[JANE] Don't worry, Kay.

You just tell me what shoes
you want. I'll get them.

- [WHISPERING] You think it'll work?
- [WHISPERING] It'll work.

What about green high tops,
or maybe some pink runners?

- You got the money?
- Yeah.

Okay. Go straight up, buy your shoes,

and come right back, okay?

- What about the others?
- I'll take care of them.

Hey, you got this. Now go.

[DOOR CLOSING]

[VIC] Hey, man, you busy?

[VIDEO GAME NOISES BEEPING]

Dude, who is that?

I thought I told you not
to click pop-ups.

That's Ginger. She keeps
me company while I play.

And if I just can get Private Nuttles

to the Hazelnut Highway,
I'll be frickin' awesome.

- What's up?
- [SIGHS] I've been thinking...

Am I the hammer or the nail?

My brother, I hear you.

I mean, am I an approximate man?

Why am I even Cyborg?

What? What? Because
you're a f*cking god.

You can basically bang anybody you want.

Like the entire cast of
The Love Boat or Knots Landing.

Why in God's name and nut cheese
would you want to change that?

Maybe because it's not
all about who you can bang?

Said no superhero ever.

- [PRIVATE NUTTLES] Oh, nuts!
- What? No!

I had cashew reserve!

That really wasn't the kind
of talk I was hoping for.

Oh, sorry. Stupid life choices
really aren't my specialty.

Oh, here's a thought.

Maybe talk to somebody who gives a sh*t.

[VIDEO GAME NOISES RESUME]

Sit down. And don't touch anything.

[FIRE ROARING]

[SIZZLING]

[LAURA] Enter.

Right, right.

[CLEARS THROAT]

My, what a lovely laboratory.

A smoldering headless mannequin...

- bubbling potions and mice.
- [SQUEAKING]

Hello. Very sciencey.

The rather imposing gentleman

who was just leaving
seemed rather upset.

Might I ask what it is
you do here exactly?

Ah. [CLEARS THROAT] Who am I?

Good question. Relevant question,
and yet, I know not.

I seem to have flown in
like a feather off the cosmos.

That actually sounded quite sciencey.

Right. Next question. What am I?

Ditto.

Why am I? Mmm, another
thought-provoking inquiry,

and yet, I think we might both
agree that my journey here

has left me quite discombobulated.

The only thing I have is this.

Therefore, it would seem that I
am from the Sisterhood of Dada,

and my name is Laura De Mille.

Ah! Look at that. We have the same name.

Or not.

Now, if you're Laura De Mille,

then, who is the Sisterhood of Dada?

Have you got a light?

Goodness. You did that
with such vigor and flair.

[MUTTERS] Not flame.

[SIZZLING]

[BLOWING AIR]

Okay, not telekinesis.

Ha!

[CLICKS TONGUE] Did that...
Did that hurt?

No! In fact, it felt just
like... I don't even know,

but, in summary, felt good,
felt really good.

Right.

Not a w*apon.

Nuh-uh, Comrade Hog,
no squirrel meat today.

No! Get away from me.

[SCREAMS] What the f*ck?

You scared the sh*t out of me.

Sisterhood of Dada. Speak.

[GROANS] Fine.

Bunch of super self-absorbed
kookledoodle meta-humans

who definitely do not like you.

When I said the name Laura De Mille,

I got a foot up my ass
and not in a good way.

So, if I were you,

I'd stay away from
the Sisterhood of Wackydoo.

And?

[GROANS] And they were working on

some creepy, maybe cool art thingy.

Too early to tell.

Okay, draw it.

If it gets you away from
me sooner I will do it.

[CLIFF GRUNTS]

- What's this?
- Hello? Robot fingers.

You are aware that your little
friend Rita stole my time machine.

And that sucks for me why?

[KEYBOARD CLACKING]

[GLASS SHATTERING]

Mail plops into the gizmos,
sort and file it in the doodads.

If they don't have a doodad,
put it in the thingamabob.

If they don't have a thingamabob,

we put it back up the whatzit.

Got it?

Ah, goody! [CHUCKLES]

[CLEARS THROAT]

Out of the gizmo.

Into the doodad.

[CHUCKLES] And we're off!

Don't think I've ever seen anyone
so delighted by mail delivery.

Might as well make the most
out of this postal pit stop.

Reckon you're just visiting, then?

Mmm-hmm. Your guess is as good as mine,

but until I figure out why I'm here,

I'll happily file the whatzits,

and take my marching orders

from that officious Laura
De Mille in recruiting,

whom, by the way, strikes me
as a tad bit strange.

That officious Laura De Mille,
she saved us.

I stand corrected, Holly.

I suppose I'm just feeling

out of sorts not knowing my
name or where I come from.

Let's give you a name, then.

How about we call you...

Bendy?

Hmm.

You've got a real knack, Bendy.

[RITA CHUCKLES]

- And you've got a fan club.
- What?

[PEOPLE CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY]

Oh, hello, it's me.

Hi. Oh, I remember seeing you.

Come with me. Now.

[DOOR OPENS]

- Freaks.
- [ALL LAUGHING]

Guess who was up there

just eating her sandwich
at the agents' table?

Bendy!

Meet the g*ng.

Malcolm, Shelly, Sachiko and Lloyd.

[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

[SACHIKO SPEAKING JAPANESE]

I did, but Holly said it...

Wait. Did you just speak Japanese
and did I just understand you?

- Piffle paffle, Bendy.
- Sorry, what?

Don't question. Just go with it.

You have to eat here?

I'm utterly confounded.

You all should do something about it.

Must be nice to have forgotten
how the world works.

That's true.

Meta weapons get sent
to the front lines.

People like us, we work here.

Or get carted off.

[SACHIKO SPEAKING JAPANESE]

Well, then, until I find my way,

I shall indeed piffle paffle here,

in this glorious, gloomy gutter.

And don't worry, Bendy.
We still find ways to have fun.

[RITA CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

[RITA CLEARS THROAT]

[PRETTY POLLY] What are you doing?

f*ck yourself sideways, Pretty Polly.

[PRETTY POLLY] Oh, ouch.

How could you let the girl go up?

[SIGHS]

It's never been about what I want.

[PRETTY POLLY SCOFFS]

Haven't you ever done a kindness

simply for the sake of it?

Dr. Harrison says there's no
such thing as a selfless act.

Pretty Pretty Polly, wake the f*ck up.

We're a construct.

Kindness may be one
of our only commodities.

[BIRD SCREECHING]

[COUPLE CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY]

- [GIRL LAUGHING]
- [CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING]

[GRID. POWERING UP]

[SIGHS] Grid, turn off notifications.

[GRID] Notifications off.

[RITA GASPS]

[INHALES]

[LAURA] What is so special
about Niles Caulder?

I'm not sure. [CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]

[CLEARS THROAT] Just felt a twinge.

Ah, twinge.

That's fascinating.

[CLICKS TONGUE] Has your, um...

[CLICKS TONGUE] body elephant
recalled anything else?

Perhaps about the Sisterhood of Dada?

- The what?
- It was in your note.

Oh, right.

- No, still nothing.
- Hmm.

It appears you're the only part
of the note that I found.

Well, I must confess

I do know a little something
about the other part.

And I do believe it's high time
you found out.

[CHEERFUL MUSIC PLAYING]

It's wonderful.

[LAURA CHUCKLES]

The stuff of life, is it not?

A warm place to hang your hat
at the end of the day,

filled with friends and music.

But how did you...

Where are we?

Shelley made it for us. It's her thing.

You're the Sisterhood of Dada.

But of course, you are. Piffle paffle!

And we welcome you,
Post Mistress Divine.

We like to dress up, Bendy.

Adds a touch of the mysterious.

- I made this for you.
- [RITA GASPS]

I call it "Ode to Lunchroom".

- Lloyd, c'est magnifique.
- Ah, merci.

- What are you thirsty for?
- Whatever you're having.

One Leap Frog coming on up.

Come, come, come, come. [KISSES]

Oh! Pull up a pillow, huh?

[SACHIKO SPEAKING JAPANESE]

First things first.

How did you know about
our little troupe?

[LLOYD] And are you from
the past or the future?

De Mille said you had a note
that mentioned the Sisterhood.

[LAURA] This is our top
secret enclave, Bendy.

I had to mention the note, I'm afraid.

Price of admission.

Don't let her straight-laced
Bureau face fool you.

Laura's a wild cat.

Well, it's all in good fun.

Ooh, that reminds me.
Maybe you could help.

We're making a moving picture later.

Before we get zozzled,
we've got to know.

Bendy, are we important?

I wish I could remember.

- Uh...
- It's all right, honey.

[SHELLEY] Hmm.

You know, the only rule is,
there are no rules.

Piffle paffle!

- J'm'en fous.
- Really?

What happened to that crackerjack
woman with the clipboard?

Oh, that bitch is off the clock.

Truly, Bendy,

does anyone really know who they are,

or why they're here?

All that really matters is now.

And now...

And wow.

[JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING]

[GIGGLING]

Whoo! My...

I need a break.

Say, where's that fellow with the books?

Isn't he part of your coterie?

Oh, Malcolm? Dreadfully shy.

He had his head scrambled
by the w*r in France.

Just follow the pipe smoke.
You'll find him.

[ALL LAUGHING]

[MALCOLM] ♪ My schemes
are just like all my dreams ♪


♪ Ending in the sky ♪

♪ Some people look
and find the sunshine ♪


♪ I always look and find the rain ♪

[TOGETHER] ♪ Some people
make a winning sometime ♪


♪ I never seem to make a gain ♪

♪ Believe me ♪

Ha, I found you.

You found the absinthe.

- Ah, yes!
- Have a seat, Bendy.

Well, thank you.

[CLEARS THROAT]
Oh, I have just the thing.

- [CANARY CHIRPING]
- Ah.

I, um, I traded my heart
for a canary in Verdun.

[CANARY CHIRPING]

Every morning, she flies.

[CHUCKLES SOFTLY] Looking forward.

No memory from when she came.

[CHIRPING]

Fresh eyes. Like you.

Your heart, does it hurt?

Ah, remembering's worse.

Can I help?

You already have.

[LLOYD] Lovebirds, come hither!

[LAURA] Sweet folly of Cupid's rapture.

We're making sound poems.

Malcolm, darling,
bring the lumiere. Come on.

And in the spirit of absolute nonsense,

our great Bendy will pick a word.

[HOLLY] Yes!

Come on, Bendy! Come on, Bendy!
Come on, Bendy!

- [RITA CLEARS THROAT]
- Bendy?

- Chocolate.
- [LAURA GASPS]

Chock.

Chock.

Chock-chock.

Chock.

- Oh!
- Chock.

Chock-chock-chock.

[ALL] Chock-chock-chock.

[ALL CLUCKING]

Okay.

Okay, okay. Okay!

Mountain.

- Ooh.
- Ooh.

Mountain.

Muh-muh-muh.

Mum-mum-mum.

Muh. Mum-muh.

Mum-mum-mum-mah.

["POKER FACE" BY LADY GAGA PLAYING]

[ALL] Mum-mum-mum-mah.

Mum-mum-mum-mah.

Mum-mum-mum-mah.

Mum-mum-mum-mah.

Mum-mum-mum-mah.

Mum-mum-mum-mah.

Mum-mum-mum-mah.

Muh-muh-muh-mah.

Muh-muh-muh-mah. Muh-muh-muh-mah.

Muh-muh-muh-mah. Muh-muh-muh-mah.

- [CLIFF] Oh, yeah. Come to Papa.
- [POKER GAME SOUNDS PLAYING]

Papa needs aces high. Aces high, baby.

- [GINGER] Who's my big metal stud?
- [CLIFF MOANS]

You know what I'm gonna do, Cliffie?

I'm gonna take my finger
and put it in my...


[ALARM BLARING]

Oh, sweetums, you're out of time.

It's okay. Uh... Just run my card again.

I need more Gingey goodness.

- [HAWK SCREECHES IN GAME]
- Aw, yeah! Level , b*tches!

Seven walnuts from the Filbert Flyaway.

Um, Cliffie, it says that your card's

declined due to insufficient funds.

I'm gonna need to log off now.

What? No. What if we do an IOU?

[GINGER] No, it doesn't work that way.

- [CLIFFE HUFFS]
- Uh, do you have any of those vintage coins?

Maybe you can sell them on eBay.

[SIGHS] Uh, nope.

How about a used race car set?

[GINGER] Ew. Boring.

What about your wacky roommates?

Do they have anything cool to sell?

Uh, maybe.

Actually, you know,
one of my roomies is Cyborg.

Really? You know, I would pay big bucks

to have coffee or something
hot with him.
[CHUCKLES]

You would?

Let's see what someone else would pay.

- [KEYBOARD CLACKING]
- [MOUSE CLICKING]

[MESSAGE DINGS]

Who would have thunk it?

All these little accidents seem random,

but maybe I had to become
a race car driver, swerve,

see my wife cheating with Bump,

get in a wreck
caused by a mad scientist,

be reduced to a brain in a tin can

and come live in this dump with
my wacky roommates, you know?

Maybe it's some grand scheme
designed by the cosmos

that brought me to Salty Bumps
to fight an alligator

so I could reunite with Clara and
meet my amazing grandson Rory.

Don't you see? I had to
die, go to the afterlife,

see my assh*le dad, become a zombie,

only to realize I wanted
to be a better person.

Not for me, but for Clara and Rory.

And in that quest,

I had too many parky meds
and clicked on that pop-up,

even though Vic told me not to,
but Chipmunk Jump opened a gate

where I didn't know
there was one, you see?

Point is, I took a risk

and it set me on this hero's
journey with Private Nuttles,

Stan my online dealer at World Wide
poker, and Ginger my cam girl.

And with this posse of love and support,

I'm gonna win that f*cking key chain

and be the grandad Rory needs me to be.

[CRYING HYSTERICALLY]

[BREATHES DEEPLY]

[PEOPLE SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

Last night was pure joy.
Not a care in the world.

Wherever you come from,
you didn't have this?

I don't think so.

The only sense I could get was that

happiness was never as easy
as you all make it seem.

No, it's never been easy.

Their lives have been bloody awful.

But at some point, they chose to
be happy in spite of everything,

took comfort in that struggle.

When I met them I realized that I needed

to protect their weird
and wonderful ways.

And the Bureau let you?

Oh, they haven't bothered me yet.

This is their protest.
A life well-lived.

What about you?

I'm a tad more complicated.

What are those two up to?

[CHUCKLES] Their zany creation.
Oh, it's absurd, really.


I'm afraid some think of Dada
as more than a temporary fling

and carry the wild idea
that it can change the world.

But why shouldn't they risk it?

Follow their mad bliss,

plant their flag
and stand for something?

Bendy, you may have
lived a charmed life,

but from where I sit,

I'm lucky to be standing at all.

Not everyone can take that kind of risk.

No, Lloyd. I suppose you're right.

[BICYCLE CHAIN RATTLING]

Whoa.

- Whoa!
- [GASPS]

[JANE] No, no, no, no Kay.
Kay, let me up.

You don't know him, don't talk to him.

You okay?

Um, yeah, I'm okay. Thanks.

You just learning?

Well, you're doing pretty darn good.

But if it were me,

I'd pay a bit more attention
to these cars. Much safer.

Take care now.

[SOFTLY] Okay.

[LARRY] The Bureau's known for going
to any lengths to secure a target.

They have no qualms pitting
family against each other.

I'm sorry you got sucked in.

I didn't. I chose this.

What? Why?

Really wasn't that far a stretch,

what with the abandonment
and the mom going insane,

brother offing himself,
son getting sh*t.

Can't believe it took me
so long to realize

the Bureau's where I always belonged.

But the Bureau is evil.

- [CHAIR CREAKING]
- This can't be who you are, son.

It can't be.

At least I didn't run away
with my tail between my legs.

And don't call me son.

That implies that you were actually
at my Little League games.

Or helped me with algebra, told me
what to do on a f*cking first date.

You weren't there!

You weren't there, Larry Trainor!

Not for me. Or Gary. Or Mom.

So drop the Dad routine

because it implies
responsibility for something

other than your g*dd*mn self.

No, I stayed away to protect you.

You stayed away to protect you!

Face it, you sucked at being a dad.

Accept that. Make things
a lot easier for us.

[LARRY] We don't all get
to choose our paths.

You think I wanted
to burn up in my plane

and become some nuclear accident?

You think I raised my hand
at flight school,

volunteered to have an alien
entity merge with my body,

basically making me
a radioactive pariah?

You think I enjoy wrapping
my body everyday in bandages

and unwrapping them just to take a piss?

Do you think it's been fun
to not touch anyone

for g*dd*mn years?

[LARRY SIGHING]

And until today, yeah,
I selfishly wanted more.

But if my being around you is
so harmful, then I'm done trying.

I am your father.

I loved you from the moment
you were born.

Actually, no, from the moment
I knew you were on the way.

I sat next to your mom's tummy,

and we listened to Game
of the World Series.

And when Willie Mays
caught that fly ball

and when we cheered, you kicked.

Your foot was as big as an orange
slice and I knew you'd be tall.

You can't take that from me.

And even after I left,
in my mind, I stayed.

But maybe that doesn't count.
And maybe you can't forgive me,

but I forgive myself.

So if you're feeling better
now, I'd like you to leave.

[SCOFFS]

[LARRY SIGHS]

[DOOR CLOSES]

[ELINORE] Your father
and I used to have this ritual


that every time we would come up here,

I would put a rock under this
tree and he would call me crazy.


[VIC] I am because the world
needs justice and order.


I am because
I want to serve and protect.


[FRENZY] That was rehearsed
and cliche for a half-man, half tin can.


The great Cyborg. The man
who doesn't even know himself.


How can you know suffering or joy

without knowing who you are?

You were right.

[VOICE SHAKING] You were right.

[SILAS] Everything I did
was to protect you.

I don't care what you hear
or who you talk to.


- [CRYING]
- [SILAS] It won't change that.

[SNIFFLING AND CRYING]

[ELINORE] Victor, when
you walk down that path,


anything that happens
from here is your choice.


Focus on that.

[BREATHES DEEPLY]

[TRIUMPHANT MUSIC PLAYING]

[PEOPLE CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY]

- [CHATTERING STOPS]
- [DOOR CREAKING]

Oh goody. Chicken salad.

[MAN LAUGHING]

[PEOPLE MURMURING]

Come on, Holly.

[MAN MOCKINGLY] Yeah, come on, Frank.

[DOOR OPENS]

[SIGHS]

Bendy, you're out of your mind.

In the best way possible.

[SPEAKING JAPANESE]

[SIGHS] Okay.

[PEOPLE WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY]

[AGENT BURDETTE] God almighty,
look at that thing.

It's so ugly, I can't look away.

This is why they're not
supposed to be up here.

How can you stomach any food?
It's grotesque.

[GASPING]

[GASPS]

[PEOPLE MUTTERING]

Whoa, whoa. I got you.
Never let 'em see you sweat.

Piffle paffle.

[VOICE SHAKING] Piffle paffle.

Come on.

[CHUCKLING NERVOUSLY]
Piffle paffle. Piffle paffle.

Piffle paffle. Piffle paffle!

[CLUCKING]

- [HORNS HONKING]
- [ALL EXCLAIMING]

[CLUCKING]

Pickled stockings.

Sell! Buy! Cut the piss!

Look, sir. You don't know what's coming.

- Boom-boom dun-dun ca-caw.
- [CROWING]

Boom-boom. Dun-dun. Ca-caw.

[CROWING AND SCREECHING]

[WHISTLE BLOWS]

You metas. With me. Now!

Right now!

Piffle paffle. Ca-caw. J'm'en fous.

[TOGETHER] Piffle paffle.
Ca-caw. J'm'en fous!

Piffle paffle. Ca-caw. J'm'en fous!

[LAUGHING] Ca-caw. J'm'en fous.

[BREATH TREMBLING]

[ALL SIGH IN RELIEF]

I thought we were done for.

We are the Sisterhood of Dada

and I will stand by you
till the day I die.

But for now, we have got to go

because the actual guards
are on their way. Come on.

Clowns, Sachiko? Really?

- You couldn't have turned them into kittens?
- [SACHIKO GIGGLING]

[EXHALING]

Oh, come on. Come on.

[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]

Well, if it isn't Dr. Preparation H

and the Tattle Tale Twin.

That could have gone very badly.

You may be primary but
you can't take risks like this.

Thanks, Jane. It was great.

She looks pretty happy to me.

She doesn't understand the
danger. Can't you see that?

I just watched a girl

teach herself how to ride a bike

after being held c*ptive in her
own mind for almost years.

In one afternoon, she freed
herself from that bondage

and found a little joy.

Some things are worth the risk.

Well, it'd be nice

if all the personas could have
been consulted beforehand.

Look, she gets better, we get better.

I didn't always think like this.

But when I saw the wind in her
hair and the sun on her face,

I realized this is the next step.

This is what growth looks like.

Our fates are all intertwined...

You have no idea what growth looks like.

If you don't stop
this divisive behavior,

you'll get exactly what you want.

What's that supposed to mean?

Mmm. Figured.

More idle threats

from a second-rate doctor
in cheap shoes.

That's a burn, Dr. H.

Now what?

For starters, no more idle threats.

[CLIFF CRYING] I had three of a kind.

I thought we were going up the river

so I went all in and now it's gone.

All gone!

[GINGER] You'll bounce back, Cliffie.

[MESSAGE CHIMES]

Hang on. Fuzzyrimjob
is offering K for blueprints

of my robot body and brain!

I mean, it's basically my DNA.

I can't sell that stuff.

I already sold half my roomies' stuff.

What am I doing?

[AUTOMATED VOICE SPEAKING] Next
hand in seconds. , , , ...


twenty-five, , , , ...

Oh, what the f*ck. f*ck it.

Hey, I'm here to see
Dr. Chalmers about synthetic skin.

- Do you have an appointment?
- I think so.

I booked it online.

- I can check. Let's see.
- Thanks.

- [KEYBOARD CLACKING]
- Cyborg.

Actually, I booked it under Vic Stone.

Right.

Here you are. Dr. Chalmers
will be with you in a minute.

Meantime, have a seat

and fill out this questionnaire.

Thanks.

"What is it you want to change
about yourself and why?"

[SOFTLY] "How will your life improve
if you get synthetic skin?"

[SQUELCHING]

Oh, no. I thought you were gone.

[GROANING IN PAIN] Ooh!

Oh! What is happening?

[SCREAMING]

[GROANING IN PAIN]

[COUGHS AND STRAINS]

[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]

[RITA CLEARS THROAT]

I was hoping
if I stood here long enough,

this great metal beast
would say something.

Anything. So I could know why I'm here.

Not that it really matters, but...

I don't really care why.

I just thank my lucky stars

that you chose this time, this place.

And if this thing should
suddenly jump to life...

I understand if you wanna go back.

Back to what?

I'm happy here. Life makes sense.

I don't want to run just because I
fear what the Bureau's becoming,

but what if they try to do
away with us completely?

What if my purpose was to take
the Sisterhood away from here

to some place safe?

Hmm.

I think your ship was built for one.

Oh.

What if your purpose was to show us

how to bend and stretch
towards a better world?

- [CHUCKLING]
- Huh?

Do you think there's something
better out there?

I can't imagine what.

Somehow, somewhere,

I climbed into that metal beast
and journeyed here.

I found what I was looking for and more.

Honestly, Malcolm,
why do we always think

there's something better out
there just beyond our reach?

What could be better than right here?

[CHUCKLES SOFTLY] Right now?

I'm staying. I'm staying!

[CHUCKLES SOFTLY] Good.

That's good.

[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]

[BOTH CHUCKLING]

- Oh, I almost forgot.
- Hmm?

I, um, made you something.

Your paperclip.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

I believe I know
the perfect place to keep this.

May I?

[CAGE DOOR CREAKING OPEN]

[BREATHES DEEPLY] For safekeeping.

I'll guard it with my life.

Sisterhood of Dada.

Whatever you're after, it won't be me.

[GLASS BREAKING]

[VOICE ] Or maybe it will.

[VOICE ] Or maybe it will.

[VOICE ] Or maybe it will.

[FIRE ROARING]
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