10x20 - Go It Alone

[bunniefuu]

Meredith: Surgery is a solo act.

Owen: Are you sure you don't want help with that?

I got it.

Come on. Come on.

We step up to the table with a scalpel in our hand,

and we go it alone.

You written your speech yet?

Uh, no. Not yet. Mer and I are going out for drinks tonight, and she's gonna help me.

The isolation can start to define you.

Because even though you're surrounded by a team...

So...

Vodka is writing your Harper Avery acceptance speech?

♪ holiday ♪

Tequila.

[chuckles]

What it really comes down to is

your training, your choices, your wits...

♪ celebrate ♪

Your hands, your stitch.

♪ holiday ♪

I'm coming.

♪ celebrate ♪

To Joe's? You're working.

No, to Boston. Tomorrow.

We can make a-a night of it, you know?

♪ holiday ♪

Champagne.

Room service.

♪ celebrate ♪

I'm flying out in the morning, I'm going to the ceremony, and then flying back on the red-eye.

I'll be gone less than 24 hours.

Cristina, this is the biggest day of your life.

Did you get a haircut?

♪ just one day out of life ♪

Uh... you're changing the subject.

Yep.

♪ it would be ♪

It comes down to just you.

Jo: It's been two full weeks of the night shift, Alex.

How long can you keep doing this?

Well, I haven't dropped yet.

Well, when you gonna tell Robbins?

When do I have a chance?

♪ celebrate ♪

I'm doing surgery 24 hours a day with a dozen 20-minute naps in between.

You're like a double agent. It's actually pretty sexy.

Hey, Robbins.

Callie: Uh, back away, Karev. She's off duty.

Oh.

I was gonna say you look nice, but whatever.

Aww, thank you. It's date night.

Yeah, listen, we've been on opposite schedules for weeks, so if we don't take the time to sit down and eat a meal together and remember why we chose to be married [inhales sharply] we will k*ll each other.

[chuckles]

No sweat.

I've got everything handled.

Enjoy your night.

Thank you.

♪ in every nation ♪

Thank you so much. You're amazing.

♪ celebrate ♪

She has no idea how amazing I am.

[chuckles]

♪ holiday ♪

Well, I hear we have a dog bite over here.

This is Jill and her parents, Kyle and Nicole.

Hi. I'm Dr. Avery.

She says, "it's nice to meet you."

Now, your dog bit you, huh? That doesn't seem very nice.

Jill is deaf, too.

Okay.

Well, luckily, it's not too deep.

And since it's her face, I can go ahead and stitch it right up.

Nothing to worry about.

He says, "don't worry."

[siren wails]

That's good. Right here, okay?

[telephone rings]

We are not getting rid of the dog.

She was pulling his tail.

He growled to let her know he didn't like it.

I know she can't hear.

Jackson: Excuse me.

Kyle, have you and Nicole considered a cochlear implant for Jill at all?

Uh, yeah, we've talked about it. We're not interested.

She's the perfect candidate.

She's the right age, she's healthy, And now is the time where she would get the most benefit.

Yes, I told him "no." It's a "no."

We feel very strongly about that.

Okay.

[hisses]

See? Now you made her yell.

He didn't say anything about her being diseased.

You're overreacting.

Oh, n-no, no. I-I apologize. I'm sorry.

We understand and completely respect your decision.

Let's just get your little girl all stitched up, okay?

This is a common complication of gastric bypass.

The connections that your previous surgeon created widened, so your stomach pouch and intestines have stretched out.

So, basically, it's as if I'd never had the surgery done at all.

Well, Dr. Grey and I are confident we were able to restore the anatomy of the gastric-bypass procedure back to the way it was prior to stretching out.

Is anyone here with you?

No. I had my wife drop me off.

She was there the first time, so I told her she could sit this one out.

I can handle a couple of nights in the hospital on my own.

Well, you won't be alone.

There will be someone here to monitor you throughout the night.

Now, you just get some rest, okay?

[monitor beeping]

[indistinct conversations]

[clears throat] Um...

Given his co-morbidities, he's a high risk for post-op complications, which means one of us is gonna have to stay here with him tonight.

Um...

This is where you offer to do it.

I kind of have plans.

Ah, the all-nighter, Grey.

It's the experience that tests you the most, teaches you the most.

And when you look back on your career, you remember it most fondly.

I know that because I did one last Monday night.

That means you're well-rested. Perfect.

Good night. [taps desk]

Woman: Oh, thank you.

Kathleen.

Would you find Dr. Shepherd and ask him to pick up the children at daycare?

[man speaking russian]

Interpreter: I thought we'd take the lead on gene receptors.

We do gene receptors.

[clears throat] Sir?

Gene receptors are our bread and butter.

You tell Claesson that if he... [beep]

Even when I understand him, I-I don't understand him.

[exhales sharply]

You pushed Nova Jenkins' hippocampectomy again?

Yeah, I had to.

Uh, I got to take these calls on Gdansk time.

You referred three cases to the Cleveland clinic last week.

This is not okay, Derek. Uh, people come here for you.

You still work here.

You're the one who talked me into this project in the first place.

[sighs] Webber tells me that you canceled your lecture.

That's the fourth time you canceled on the residents this month.

I know that something has to give.

But not surgery, and it can't be teaching either.

I'll handle it.

I've got it handled.

Man: Hello? Dr. Shepherd?

Yeah. Hold on a second.

[beep]

The lectures will happen and just put Nova Jenkins' surgery back on the boards for tonight, and I'll-I'll-I'll handle it.

Okay.

[speaks russian] Dr. Shepherd?

Dr. Shepherd? Dr. Grey wanted me to...

Yeah?

Remind you to pick up the kids at daycare tonight.

Yes, got it. Got it handled.

Interpreter: Excuse me, Dr. Shepherd? Are you there?

[beep] Yeah, hi. Sorry.

Man: Hello? Dr. Shepherd?

[sighs]

Miranda: Braden's bone-marrow extraction went very well, um, but he's gonna be in some pain for a while.

Hey, you did great, Braden. We're almost there.

[weakly] Mm. Cool.

Can you explain it to us one more time?

Yeah.

Because it still sounds like you're gonna give our son H.I.V.

N-no. Um, it's gene therapy.

You know, Braden lacks the A.D.A. enzyme.

Without it, he has no immunity.

So in order to get it into him, I'm going to deliver it on a fast-replicating virus.

The H.I.V. virus.

Yes, which will disseminate the enzyme until it grows on its own.

You want to inject him with H.I.V.?

No, not per se.

Um, for the past two weeks, I've been working to genetically disable an H.I.V. virus.

Okay, the H.I.V. is... like a hat, okay?

The virus is what matters.

I've taken off the H.I.V. hat, and I'm gonna make it wear an enzyme hat.

I-I know. It-it sounds counterintuitive and scary.

But I think this is his best sh*t.

We-we trust you.

Okay.

[monitor beeping] [sighs]

Hey, we're gonna go, champ.

You gonna be okay?

He's probably gonna sleep for the rest of the night.

Well, sweet dreams, Bradie-bug.

Hey, dream about replicating genes.

Or... bunnies.

[telephone rings]

[indistinct conversations]

Thank you.

Cristina: Hey. Why aren't you dressed?

Whoa. I, uh, can't-I can't go.

I have to babysit my bypass patient.

Oh, come on. Tomorrow, everything changes.

I won't have time to talk to you.

I'll be too busy being better than you.

Good thing it's not gonna go to your head.

Ohh.

Oh, the speech.

Uh, thank people and be funny because people love funny.

[elevator bell dings] [stammers]

There's nothing funny about babies with HLHS.

You're no help to me.

Alex, tonight is your lucky night because I will go drinking with you.

Hmm. Can't. Working.

[elevator bell dings]

Kepner.

Yeah?

Never mind.

Okay.

[sighs]

Hey, I just wanted to check in before I go.

Kids, Dr. Yang's here. Say hello.

Children: Hi.

Sabine: I'm sorry.

Jon bought them these tablets, and it's destroying their brains.

I'm always the bad guy.

It was a joke, John.

Uh-huh.

Oh, I'm j... I'm just gonna be gone for 24 hours, so you can call Dr. Hunt if you have any questions or problems, okay?

[exhales sharply] Enjoy it.

Okay.

[scoffs]

[sighs] What?

What did I say now?

Nothing, Jon.

Don't "nothing." What?

Nothing.

You get to go every day.

To work.

Still, you get a break.

And then I'm here every night, Sabine, after I work, then check on the house, run our errands, do the laundry.

I come here to play with the kids so you can get a break.

You play with the kids? Really?

You hand them tablets, and then you watch sports.

We're basically living in a hospital.

I can't exactly go out and toss a ball around in the backyard.

[voice breaking] Mom, dad.

I have to go.

Okay.

You can go, Sabine. You can go anytime I'm here, but you don't dare because you're the only decent parent.

I never said that.

You never say anything! You jab at me!

You guys, you're giving me a headache.

Jon: And then you back away and act like nothing happened.

Jon, cut it out!

Okay, you guys need to just bring it...

No. Damn it, Jon. Just go. If you... if you want to, go!

We can't go anywhere!

Okay, Sabine, sit down.

Jon, you need to leave.

Where am I supposed to...

I don't care, but you need to go right now.

[sobs]

[sniffles]

But that's not fair. Karaoke's my thing.

Now, you can't go without me.

Wait. This is a karaoke bar?

It's a regular bar that happens to have karaoke.

How is that different?

It's totally different, and that's something I know because karaoke's kind of my thing.

If it makes you feel any better, I'm also gonna be missing out.

I'm just coming off a 32-hour run.

All I really want is a hot bath and a soft pillow.

Aww, gramps, how about a glass of warm milk, too?

See? You mock. But actually, that sounds fantastic.

Okay, everybody, get out of your streets and into your scrubs.

I'm gonna teach you everything there is to know about a hippocampectomy.

But you canceled that lecture.

Yes, I did, and I did you a disservice.

Not only is it a rare procedure, it's one of the most delicate and elegant a neurosurgeon can perform, which you will see later tonight when you scrub in with me.

Tonight?

Unless you have something else better to do than to cure a young girl of her debilitating seizures, Dr. Warren.

No.

[sighs]

Hmm.

[beep]

[whirring]

[sighs]

Hey, Miranda.

Hey, come look at my virus.

Oh, I can't. I-I thought I was going home.

But Shepherd's got us pulling an all-nighter.

Oh.

But, um...

What are you doing?

Watching my virus chill.

Hmm. That's, um... that's crazy.

[stammers, sighs]

I just removed stem cells from Braden's bone marrow and injected them into this disabled virus.

I just pulled a 32-hour shift.

You see, I-I should be sleeping, but I'm working.

And you are here and have no work.

You should go home... [sighs] and sleep... for me.

Hmm?

I'm just gonna watch.

Go to sleep!

[indistinct conversations]

[telephone rings]

"Boundaries are only there to be pushed."

"I am grateful for the opportunity to have pushed."

"I'm also grateful for the recognition."

How's that?

It's nice.

It's kind of braggy.

Well, it's supposed to be braggy.

I'm winning an award. My turn?

Mm-hmm.

Wow.

Yes, I have very steady hands.

Braggy.

What are you still doing here? Oh, hey, um...

Well, a bunch of stuff happened.

Ivy, your head okay?

Yeah, it's just a headache. It's getting better.

Jon and Sabine had a complete meltdown.

I kicked him out, and she's downstairs getting coffee.

I am trying to distract the kids.

My drinking buddy is stuck at the hospital, and I still have to write my speech.

So [inhales deeply] will you help me?

[whirring, thud]

Braden: Hey, Frankie. I can't sleep.

Want to play hide-and-seek?

Can I?

15 minutes.

Wait, uh... [chuckles]

You paged me to listen to your speech?

Maybe.

Mm-hmm. [sighs]

Oh, come on. You can't be that busy.

[telephone rings]

There he is. You ought to be ashamed.

Chelsea, don't yell at him.

He's doing his best.

No. Nova, you're sweet.

But you're a pushover, and you won't say this, so I will.

She's sick, and you keep jerking her around, scheduling her surgery, then canceling it, scheduling and canceling.

She hasn't eaten in two days and has had three seizures in the last six hours.

You're absolutely right.

I'm sorry it's been so difficult, but we are going to do the surgery.

When?

Tonight.

The O.R. is available at 1:30, so, technically, it's the morning.

[sighs] Really?

Really.

Finally?

Mm-hmm.

Well, there you go.

See what a little backbone will get you?

[pager beeps]

[sighs]

1:30 A.M. That's still hours away.

Well, don't worry, Dr. Warren.

I just got a page from the E.R.

We'll have plenty to do before then.

Come along.

[sighs]

Aww, poor gramps.

I'm fine.

[scoffs]

[rapid beeping] What happened?

His blood pressure is dropping, and his heart rate is in the 130s.

N.G. tube lavage is clear.

He's got a G.I. bleed, either from the remnant or the J-J staple line.

Activate the massive-transfusion protocol.

Call the O.R. and let them know we're coming.

Get me a second-year resident.

I'm gonna need extra hands in there.

None of the second years are available.

They're all with Dr. Shepherd.

Dr. Shepherd isn't even in the hospital.

He is. He has surgery scheduled.

Then where the hell are my kids?!

[siren wailing] Jackson: And it's not like I'm insensitive to deaf culture or anything.

I just don't... I don't get how, as parents, you don't want your kid to experience hearing, if they could.

What? You disagree?

They're her parents, Jackson, not us.

Yeah, well, if that was our kid, she'd be fitted for an implant three years ago.

Really?

Yeah.

Just like that?

What if I... felt differently about it?

Do you?

Yeah.

[inhales deeply]

O-okay.

Don't do that. Don't dismiss how I feel.

My opinion matters. I am one half of this relationship.

It's my kid, too, and it's not getting a cochlear implant.

All r...

It's important that we immerse them in the deaf community, who consider deafness, by the way, to be a blessing and not a disability, instead of just opting for an elective surgery.

I'm sorry. A-a blessing?

[monitor beeping]

What-what happened?

[sighs] Ivy spiked a fever, and she's experiencing some shortness of breath.

Mom, is everything okay?

Not-not now, honey.

Can I keep playing?

Uh, yeah. Sure, sure. Just stay close.

I'm going to book an O.R. and do a biopsy right away.

You should call Jon and get him back here.

Why? What's going on? What's wrong?

I think Ivy is rejecting her heart.

[breathes heavily]

[siren wails]

[ringing]

This remnant is completely distended.

Try his cell again. [dialing]

All right, I'm performing a gastrotomy to remove the intraluminal blood.

[ringing] Keep transfusing until I get the bleeding controlled.

Suction. Lap pad.

More suction.

[beep]

Derek: Hi, you've reached Dr. Shepherd.

Please leave a message, and I will return your call.

[beep]

Derek, the daycare is closed, the babysitters have not heard from you, and no one is answering at home.

Where are our children, Derek?

Now, a ring fracture almost always causes the dural to tear.

You need to take care not to make it worse.

Murphy, get in here and help her retract.

You need to see where you're going as you extract.

Dr. Shepherd, this man flatlined five minutes ago.

Yeah, that's true, But this a great opportunity to learn on an actual brain.

It does seem a little strange.

If by "strange," you mean "awesome."

Dr. Shepherd.

Yes?

Dr. Grey's in O.R. 3 and needs to speak to you right away.

Right. Okay, where's my phone?

Where did I put my lab coat?

30 seconds.

Just... 30 seconds. [sighs]

[clears throat]

Oh, wow, you just spit up all over my pretty dress, didn't you, Bailey?

[sighs] Okay, I canceled the reservation.

Shepherd owes us big time. He said he owes us, right?

Yes. Something about taking Sofia for the weekend so we could have a getaway, and I'm holding him to it.

[both chuckle]

Um, Callie, can you hold him?

'cause it's-it's dribbling.

Yeah.

Oh, here.

Hi!

Look at that.

[gasps] Bailey. Yes, hi.

Hello. Yes, hi.

Look at that.

[sighs]

[chuckling] Oh, my gosh.

You forget what it's like to have one this small.

How did we do it before?

Oh, well, we had Mark. God, I miss Mark.

Yeah, I miss him, too. And three's a lot.

Makes me think we should stop after I have this next one.

What do you mean after you have the next one?

Oh, well, I meant "we."

I was just saying "I" 'cause I'm gonna, you know, have it.

Oh. You're gonna have the next one?

I didn't know that we decided that.

I didn't know there was anything to decide.

[Bailey babbles]

Shane: Amazing.

Leah: Fantastic.

Disgusting!

Edwards.

I'm sorry, Dr. Shepherd.

Yeah, don't apologize to me.

Apologize to Mr. Quaid.

I'm sorry, Mr. Quaid.

It's cool.

It's gross... super-gross.

Hey, doc.

Hmm?

Figure out how you're gonna get these bastards out of my noggin?

Yes. It will be a, uh, very careful, very precise... yank.

Oh, me! Me, me, me!

[indistinct talking over P.A.]

[monitor beeping]

[scoffs] Do I have to do that thing where I acknowledge the losers?

'Cause I have like five minutes.

I don't want to waste it on people I don't even know.

Mm, it is a courtesy.

[sighs]

You're nervous.

You know, I know you think that I'm too busy, but I can make it work, if you don't want to be alone.

But I do.

Wait, you think you're gonna lose?

Let me go alone.

I'll update the family.

[door opens]

Leah: Uh...

[inhales sharply]

Come on. Don't be such a weenie.

I'm not being a weenie.

Stephanie: You're kind of being a weenie.

Derek: Murphy, the shears have only hit areas of non-eloquent brain function.

The risk of further damage is minimal.

So go ahead. Pull it out.

Wait.

Okay, vessels intact. Go ahead.

[grunts]

Oh, for god's sake, she's not going anywhere.

Dr. Shepherd, permission to step in.

Mm-hmm.

Thank you.

Okay.

[inhales deeply]

[grunting]

Well, that was a little much.

Way to go, lady Hulk.

Leah: Get ready for a big bleeder and a crash-dive craniotomy.

[chuckles] In your face!

Not you, Dr. Shepherd.

Um, irrigation. [sighs]

Nova Jenkins is prepped and ready for surgery.

Okay, great.

I've got a little more to do with Mr. Quaid here.

But, guys, go eat and hydrate.

I'll see you in the O.R. In about eight minutes. Hustle.

Derek.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Where the hell are my kids?

[sighs]

Don't do that!

Don't walk away from me when I'm in the middle of a sentence.

Can we just go to bed, please?

I can't sleep now, not when you're willfully ignoring my wishes, my beliefs...

About what? Our fictitious child?

It's irrelevant.

You know how slim the chances are of our kid being deaf?

That is not the point! What is the point?

You... you think they're stupid.

You think that they are being bad parents because they want to raise their kid differently than you would.

Come on. I never said that.

You are judging them!

You think they're ridiculous.

Why are we arguing about this?

Because it means you think I'm ridiculous, too!

Wait a second. What?

Replace "cochlear implant" with the word "christening"... "bible study"... "prayer."

Now tell me this has nothing to do with us.

Come on. Pick up, pick up, pick up.

[clicks tongue, sighs] Jon, where are you?

They just took Ivy up to the O.R. they think that she's rejecting her heart.

I can't find Frankie. She disappeared.

You just have to get back here. Call me as soon as you get this.

What do you mean you can't find Frankie?

Oh, do you know where she is?

[whirring]

Whoa.

What?

[laughs]

Woman: Watch out.

Well, she usually hides somewhere over here.

Gotcha.

Bam! Gotcha, Frankie!

Wake up.

Wake up. Frankie, wake up!

Wait, hold on, Braden. Back up.

Left, left, left. Hold it.

Back up. Back up.

Right. Right, right.

Hold it. Back up. Ba... back up.

Oh. Oh, crap.

Frankie!

[siren wails]

Do you know where she is?

No, crappy camera couldn't zoom in on a room number.

She's in a linen storage.

Well, which one?

I don't know.

That one.

[exhales sharply]

Pulse is faint.

Let's get her on a bed and on a monitor.

Ivy's biopsy sample's on its way to path.

Frankie's in heart failure. Karev and I ran an EKG.

It's not her pacemaker. She needs an LVAD.

Crap. These kids are like surgical dominos.

Okay, let's get her ready.

Karev's prepping her in O.R.

4. What time's your flight?

It doesn't matter.

Three hours?

For three hours, Derek, I had no idea where our children were.

I had my hand inside a guy's stomach, and all I could think was...

I told you I had it handled.

You told me you had them.

I thought I did.

I had a surgery. I had to teach.

Hunt and Webber accused me of dropping the ball.

You dropped this ball.

If you put our kids somewhere, Derek, you have to tell me.

Let's just step back for a second and take a look that the kids are fine, okay?

I just forgot to make a phone call, okay?

Now I've got a surgery to get to.

[sighs]

[horn honks]

Arizona: Mm-hmm. No, they're fine.

Zola's asleep [sniffs] and Bailey was out like a light.

[clears throat]

No, I don't... I don't know why Derek didn't tell you.

Yeah.

No, not a problem. Anytime.

Okay. Bye.

[beep]

[sighs]

Mm.

[sighs] I never would have just assumed you didn't want to carry our child.

Mm-hmm.

You said, "I can't take another loss. It's too hard."

I took that as a "no."

And I was afraid that if I asked you again, it would make you too sad.

Okay, that was a year ago, And there was a lot going on, and maybe I changed my mind.

Have you?

I don't know. Maybe.

Arizona, if it would make you happy, it would make me happy.

Yeah, hmm. Y-yeah.

But do you think I should?

[chuckles]

Derek: Now, with this approach, we go straight down the barrel to the hippocampus.

Questions?

[all talking]

Stop. Okay, hold it. Here. Let's just slow down.

Here's what we're gonna do... I'm gonna have each one of you take a turn next to me at the microscope.

Whoever is at the microscope will ask one question.

Ross, you go first.

["every little thing she does is magic" plays]

Where's gramps?

Who cares?

More microscope time for us.

Good point.

[sighs]

Okay, I think you're blowing this out of proportion.

Am I? Because this is who I am.

At my core, this... this defines me.

And I know that. I love you still.

Oh, well, thank you.

Thank you so much for loving me anyway... despite my beliefs, despite my faith, which I happen to hold above everything else.

You're twisting my words. It's not...

And you're ignoring mine!

You don't accept who I am or what I believe.

You tolerate it. You judge it.

You judge my faith because you don't have any.

I have faith.

I have faith in medicine. I have faith in helping people.

That's not faith!

Faith is believing in what you can't see.

Will you just admit it, Jackson?

You think what I believe is ridiculous.

Yes, because it is! Yes.

Your god is like our hypothetical deaf child, April.

It's not real.

♪ my love for her goes on ♪

[sighs]

[gasps]

Look, all right, I'm-I'm s-sorry.

It's n... it doesn't mean I don't respect you.

It's just...

♪ of a thousand rainy days since we first met ♪

[crying] God, I just feel...

I just feel sorry for you.

You don't know how to believe in something you can't touch or feel, and that... is so sad.

♪ but it's always me that ends up getting wet ♪

So you pity me.

I... I-I do.

I really do.

♪ every little thing she does is magic ♪
♪ everything she does just turns me on ♪
♪ even though my life before was tragic ♪

We should go to sleep.

♪ now I know my love for her goes on ♪

Alex: Looks like Frankie's LVAD has good flow.

I agree. Passing the cannulas.

Woman: Got it.

Thioproline.

Start protamine, please.

Alex, you're still here?

Night shift. You're still here?

Yes, we're all still here, obviously.

Did you finish your speech?

Nah, I-I'm just gonna wing it.

It's weird. They've made their decision.

Your name is typed on a piece of paper in an envelope.

I know.

I always figured I'd read about you winning the Harper Avery.

I didn't think I'd be operating with you the night before you won it.

When is the last time we all pulled an all-nighter together?

Third year?

Oh, god. Look at us now. You've got two kids.

I mean, you're about to win a Harper Avery.

And Alex...

Oh, sad.

Oh, shut up. I got my own stuff.

What stuff?

Oh, lying. Sadder.

A private practice is interested in me, and I think I'm gonna take it.

A private practice? Is this the Butthole guy?

I've been moonlighting over there, taking some shifts, just to see if I get along with his partner.

Don't tell Robbins.

Oh.

And I'm k*lling it.

And I'm k*lling it here at night.

I'm k*lling it 24 hours a day, and I can't tell anyone.

Private practice?

Why in the world would you want that?

Because my fellowship is ending, and it's a crapload of money.

And didn't come from a rich family like you, and I'm probably not gonna win a Harper Avery anytime soon.

Mm, that's true.

Screw you.

She might.

Might? Screw you.

Rowr.

You don't think this is silly?

No!

Okay, 'cause we're not picking a movie or takeout.

This is... it's a bigger deal.

Yeah, this feels right.

Okay.

I mean, flipping a coin feels right.

Okay.

It just... it feels decisive. It's done.

Fine. Fine, fine, fine. Okay, great.

[sighs] Okay, heads...

I will get pregnant and carry our child, and tails...

I get pregnant and carry our child.

Okay?

[chuckles]

And however it lands...

That's what we do. Right?

All right. [sniffs]

Okay. Right. [sighs]

No! You know what?! You do it!

I'm sorry.

I don't want to.

I-I-I don't want to.

[chuckles] And you did it last time, and it was so beautiful.

Just... I don't want to.

I want you to. I want you to.

Is that bad? Am I terrible?

No, you're not terrible.

Will you do it? Please? Okay, wait, now hold on.

[chuckles] Do you want to?

[chuckling] I would love to.

Ah!

[chuckling]

Mm!

[Bailey cries]

Both: Oh.

I'll flip you for it.

[siren wails]

All three of them are on the transplant list?

I'm afraid so.

Ivy's biopsy results confirm that she is, in fact, rejecting her heart.

But we are treating her with anti-rejection medication.

Frankie went into heart failure.

I put in an LVAD to help her heart function.

We've called UNOS and put both Ivy and Frankie on the transplant list.

With Link. [exhales sharply] God.

We started the day with one on the list, but three?

Do you want us to call Jon for you?

He hasn't picked up the phone once tonight, and I've already filled his mailbox with voicemails.

They say this breaks couples apart... sick kids.

And we talked about that, but we didn't think it'd happen to us.

But then we didn't think... any of this would happen... h-happen to us.

Is this what it looks like?

[voice breaking] Is he... is he gone?

[sobs]

[insects chirping]

This is when visibility gets difficult.

So why don't we use a self-retaining retractor?

You can't with a keyhole incision.

You risk damaging the anterior choroidal arteries, which could result in what?

Infarction of the internal capsule and adjacent basal ganglia.

Edwards, step back.

Wilson... step up.

Man. [scoffs]

How can we tell if the patient has suffered a PCA infarct?

We wouldn't know until after she'd woken up.

Okay, good.

And what symptoms would we look for with a lesion in this area?

Contralateral hemiplegia, superior quadrantanopia, and amnesia.

Okay, Wilson, you're out. Murphy, you're up.

I was right.

Well, yes. You were.

But nobody likes a know-it-all.

[laughter]

[clears throat]

[sighs] We have a bleeder.

I need visibility in there, Murphy.

Oh, no, no, no! Not the clamp!

Murphy, what did I say?

I'm sorry. It's just...

It was just instinct. My hand just went there.

Take a step back.

I-I'm sorry. Is she gonna be okay?

Just quiet, please.

Dr. Shepherd...

I said be quiet!

Do they know where we are?

I was very specific.

Well, I hope this cab doesn't make you miss your flight.

[pager beeps]

Oh, god.

Oh, my bypass patient's in V-fib. I got to...

Go, go, go go. Save a life.

Okay. Good luck.

Okay, thanks.

[siren wails] [sighs]

You know, maybe we should just call the cab company and make sure...

You know, Owen, it'll be fine.

There's no traffic this early.

I'm not checking a bag. I've got time.

[pager beeps] Oh.

You got to go, too.

No, no. I-I can wait a second.

MVC pileup on the freeway.

You don't want to ignore that.

[sighs] I want to see you off.

I'll be gone all of 24 hours.

This isn't some glamorous goodbye.

I'm catching a cab. I know how to send myself off.

You sure?

Owen... [pager beeps] [stammers] go, go.

Okay, all right.

So... knock them dead.

Okay.

[sighs]

[brakes squeal]

[horn blows]

[indistinct conversations]

[telephone rings]

Woman: Nurse's station.

Yeah.

[gasps]

Dr. Warren...

We have an on-call room for this.

Hmm?

I heard Dr. Shepherd had you on an all-night surgery.

How did it go?

Crap!

[sighs] Kids.

Derek: Nova, can you hear me?

Why isn't she answering?

[monitor beeping]

Nova?

Nova?

Nova?

Now, if you can understand me, blink.

[singsong voice] Nova.

[weakly] Is... it... okay if I just say "yes"?

Or is the blinking medically necessary?

That works for me.

I can absolutely blink, too.

It's... really no trouble.

So, everything's good here.

Now, Dr. Murphy will be in charge of your post-op care, and she will be in every hour to give you a neuro check.

All you have to do right now is just rest.

Sounds good to me.

Okay, good.

[sighs]

[indistinct conversations]

Murphy, doctors don't cry in hallways.

We have stairwells for that.

I'm sorry. I'm just so relieved.

Yeah, you got lucky today.

Nothing bad happened, but it could have.

And if it had... It would have been on you.

So remember the feeling... that "what if?"

[sniffles]

Not the relief.

It'll keep you from making that mistake again.

Yes, sir.

W-what did I miss?

["something about you" plays]

♪ how ♪

Owen: Sabine?

♪ how can it be? ♪

Honey...

♪ that a love carved out of caring ♪

I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry.

I fell asleep. I was right outside.

♪ fashioned by fate could suffer so hard ♪

I went to sit in the car and cool off, and I fell asleep, and my phone d*ed, and I never should have left.

I should have been here with you.

You shouldn't have been alone.

♪ but making mistakes ♪

I'm sorry.

♪ is a part of life's imperfection ♪

I love you. I love you so much.

I'm so sorry. [cries]

♪ born of the years ♪
♪ is it so wrong? ♪

[yawns]

I don't know how you do it.

I don't know how you can be a double agent.

I come off of even [yawns] one all-nighter, and I feel hollow... jangly.

Do you ever get that... the hollow janglies?

♪ of undefined illusion ♪
♪ those diamond dreams ♪

Alex.

♪ they can't disguise the truth ♪

[gasps] I'm good.

No, we're good on magnetic resonance.

We don't need any more groups on magnetic resonance.

UCLA's got that.

Hey, let me... let me call you back.

♪ baby ♪

[sighs] I'm sorry.

♪ so right I should have called you. ♪

I-I... I dropped the ball.

[sighs] This ball can't get dropped.

I know.

Nothing catastrophic has happened yet, but it could.

We... we're juggling too much.

Something has to change.

Are you saying it has to be me?

I'm not saying that, Meredith.

I'm just saying that something's got to change.

I know. I know. I just... I don't know what to do.

Ohh, neither do I.

♪ no one can say that ♪
♪ we didn't feel ♪

But... I do know... that I need you to take the kids today.

Can you do that for me?

Of course, yes, and I will update you on our position hourly.

You don't have to do that. I just...

No, but I will.

Okay. All right.

♪ gone, fragile but free ♪
♪ we remain tender together ♪

Arizona: [gasps] Who's here?

April?

♪ if not so in love ♪

Can I stay here for a little while?

♪ and it's not so wrong ♪
♪ we're only human after all ♪
♪ these changing years ♪
♪ they add ♪

You were right!

I got a good night's sleep. I slept like a log.

Got up this morning.

I made some homemade french toast with bacon... candied bacon, if you want to know.

I even had time to read the paper.

Now I'm gonna go check on my virus, which also got a good night's sleep, thanks to you.

And now you can go and get some sleep.

I left your favorite tea on the counter.

Well, a-actually, I managed to squeeze in a power nap, so I'm feeling all right.

Hmm.

[chuckles]

I'm gonna scrub in on a, uh, shoulder replacement with Torres in a few.

Well, aren't you superman?

♪ baby ♪

[chuckles]

♪ tonight ♪

[sighs]

♪ 'cause there's something about you ♪
♪ baby, tonight ♪

Thank you so much.

[indistinct conversations]

Excuse me. Dr. Yang?

Dr. Robert Bonocore. Cleveland clinic?

Oh, yes, the epilepsy neurostimulator.

It's-it's so nice to meet...

I am a big fan... huge, really.

I have read all of your work on the conduits.

It's just fascinating. Truly.

Thank you. Thank you.

You're Cristina Yang. [chuckles]

Yes.

Where are you with phase two?

We're all waiting to see if we can get our hands on it.

Oh.

Okay, I understand you're still a cardiothroactic fellow.

Yes.

W-when do you finish up?

I imagine everyone's asking you that.

Oh. You must be thrilled to be nominated so early in your career.

Any relation to Dr. Tara Yang?

She was my roommate at UPenn. She was so funny.

Oh, I-I'm unfortunately... [dinging]

Oh, looks like it's time.

Oh.

Well, congratulations.

I'll see you in there.

Thank you.

Very nice to meet you.

Oh, uh, excuse me.

[indistinct conversations]

Man: Okay. Okay, great.

[ringing]

Meredith: Cristina?

Mer, I made a mistake. I don't want to be here alone.

You should be here.

And we should be drunk. Why aren't we drunk?

And I want Owen here.

He could, like, you know, hold my purse and tell me things, and... oh, my god.

And tell me to wear deodorant.

I forgot to wear deodorant, and now I stink and...

Where are you? Are you at the table?

You know what? Forget it. I'm... [sighs]

I'm fine.

[beep] [sighs]

["everybody wants to rule the world" plays]

♪ welcome to your life ♪

Meredith: Surgeons are trained to go it alone, to be solo artists, to be Mavericks... both in and out of the O.R.

♪ even while we sleep ♪

But the truth is, we are never alone.

♪ we will find you ♪
♪ acting on your best behavior ♪

What?

[chuckles]

♪ turn your back on mother nature ♪

Owen.

♪ everybody wants to rule the world ♪

Oh, thank you.

Thank you.

♪ it's my own design ♪

Thanks.

Mm-hmm.

I finished my speech. I have it right here.

It took me six hours in a middle seat with a mini bottle of overpriced tequila, but it's gracious and not braggy.

I think you'll like it.

We stand on the shoulders of those who came before us.

♪ nothing ever lasts forever ♪ [applause]

♪ everybody wants to rule the world ♪

Surgery is the boldest and most fearless of the healing arts.

We stand side-by-side with the colleagues who have supported us, prepared us...

The Harper Avery award celebrates those who have destroyed the obstacles, altered the direction, and invented the future of how we are to live and heal and thrive.

The surgeons in this room are redefining medicine for generations to come.

For the moment that every surgeon lives for...

And so I am very pleased to announce this year's winner.

When it all comes down to your training, your choices, your wits, your hands, your stitch...

The Harper Avery award goes to...

When it all comes down to you.

♪ can't stand this indecision ♪

Dr. Ronald Myers, Johns Hopkins hospital.

[cheers and applause]

♪ paired with a lack of vision ♪
♪ everybody wants to rule the world ♪