06x03 - I Always Feel Like Somebody's Watchin' Me

[bunniefuu]

Paranoia ...

gives you an edge in the O.R.

What I realized is that peds is the only specialty where I could do it all ... You know, cardio, general, ortho.

It's like the whole body is your canvas, and the fact that it's a small canvas makes it even more challenging.

I have no idea if you have someone on your service right now, but

I would really love to witness your artistry.

You got this?

You gotta like kids.

I love kids.

I'll see you on rounds.

Great.

He lost a huge chunk of flesh.

I see down to his mandible.

We'll need plastics and an E. N. T. consult, too.

Left I. V. looks like it's clotted off. I need a new 16 gauge in there.

What's going on? It's 4:00 in the morning. Is everyone on call?

It's the merger. Everyone's scared to go home.

I don't think the Chief meant that people couldn't sleep.

It's hard to sleep when your job is on the line.

One of you, get as much type-specific blood as they'll let you have and meet us in surgery.

Surgeons play out worst-case scenarios in their heads.

I talked to Callie last night about the residents at Mercy West.

She said they don't suck.

You're safe because of Derek.

Izzie's safe 'cause of cancer.

Alex is Bailey's new favorite.

Even George would've been spared, 'cause he's Owen's guy.

Cardio has been a revolving door around here, and no one's got my back.

So Arizona is your cover?

She's merger-proof. She keeps little kids alive.

No one likes a dead kid.

Plus, they're under anesthesia half the time. How bad can it be?

You're ready to close, you got the bleeder, you know it, but there's that voice in your head asking ...

Sloan and Shepherd are scrubbing out of surgery in O.R. two.

Grab 'em before they leave.

Let me know if you hear anything about the merger.

Nurses are always the last to know, first to go.

What if you didn't?

What if the patient dies and you could've prevented it?

What do you think? Looks real, right?

My mom sent it to me.

What are you doing here?

Working.

Iz, we talked about this.

You're supposed to be taking another three weeks, really resting up.

I have to come back now, before I

don't have a job to come back to.

I have to show people that I'm not gonna die.

Unless I sit alone in that trailer for one more minute, then I'm gonna die.

I'm gonna die of boredom.

Look, Izzie ... seriously, it looks real, right?

If you didn't know I have cancer, you wouldn't know I have cancer, right?

So you check your work one more time before you close.

Paranoia is a surgeon's best friend.

Karev, what do you got?

16-year-old helmeted dirt bike victim.

G. C. S. 15 reported before intubation.

Okay. On my count. Ready? One, two, three.

I'm gonna scrub in.

So he announces a merger, and then he shuts himself in his office all day and refuses to talk to anybody.

This merger won't affect us.

It's just a financial restructuring.

What do you think restructuring is?

Cutting personnel. Are you prepared to lose all the good people? I'm not.

Tell Hunt he's good to go.

I'll write up a consult later.

I'm gonna go talk to Richard right now.

You're tired. You're angry. You're gonna say something you'll regret.

Get outta here for a while. Go to the driving range, hit a bucket of balls.

I have a surgery in an hour.

So take a walk.

Grab Meredith, take a walk.

Meredith won't leave the hospital.

None of 'em will. Everyone's awaiting word from on high.

Look, don't tell me Lexie's not worried.

Is he in there? ! 'cause I've got the ... No. Lexie's worried.

S06E03 I Always Feel

Like Somebody's Watchin' Me

I think you missed a spot.

You can't tease me about the blood thing because it's not funny.

And if it gets back to the Chief, I may as well just pack my things.

You need to stop worrying about the

Chief. All this is in your head.

Really? 2002, Milwaukee, Third Street Hospital merged with st. Ann's. 13 residents were let go.

2004, Nashville Women's absorbed Memorial.

Nine residents were fired. 2006, Albuquerque.

19 residents ... All right. Stop.

You need to pull yourself together.

You deserve to be here.

Act like it.

I meant later. After you went home and got some sleep.

We really should get some sleep before rounds.

Sleep is for wimps. Sleep is for Mercy West residents.

Let's fit in another trauma before rounds.

Don't say anything about the wig.

I'm back.

Yes, I am early. But whatever. I'm back.

And because I've been gone so long, the first trauma that comes through those doors, it's mine.

Got it?

It's amazing, right?

What's amazing?

The wig.

It looks so real, I couldn't even tell.

I've always wanted to try out being a redhead, so I just thought, now's the time.

What's wrong with your own hair?

That's peach fuzz chemo hair, and I really wanted to put my patients at ease, make 'em feel comfortable.

She looks like a stepford wife. You've gotta tell her.

She can't handle it. Just don't stare.

M. V. C. who do I have?

I'm not your Chief resident anymore. Figure it out.

Karev, let's go.

You're back.

I am.

My mom's whole church prayed for you.

Thank you.

It looks really real.

I know, right?

We need to talk.

Look, I'm busy right now.

Are you making cuts?

I said I'm busy.

If you're making cuts in my department, you need to consult with me.

When it's appropriate, I'll consult the people I need to consult with.

People? I'm not people. I'm the guy that saved your ass.

When Jennings came to me, you were done.

Out of loyalty to you ... Loyalty?

You came to me so you would look like a good guy before you stole my job.

Are you making whole cuts or not?

I said when I'm ready to tell my staff about decisions I will be making, I will ... when I'm ready!

So don't come barging in here like I

owe you. I don't owe you a damn thing, You work for me.

I'm still the Chief of surgery at this hospital.

Then start acting like it.

Jodie Crowley ... 60-year-old driver who lost consciousness and hit a parked car.

Vital signs stable. Complains of abdominal pain.

It wasn't a parked car. It was them. They hit us.

Sir, who are you?

Who am i? Who are you?

He's my son.

Why don't we go in the waiting room?

He needs to stay with me.

He's a paranoid schizophrenic.

Let's put her on a gurney on my count.

One, two, three.

Listen to me, mom. They're trying to get to me through you.

You have to believe me.

Tom, they're not real.

Look at me. Look at me, honey.

Did you feel dizzy or light-headed before the crash?

No, I felt fine.

Abdominal tenderness. I feel a mass.

I've had it for quite a while.

Maybe that's what caused me to black out.

I've been warning her. They're trying to hurt her, but she won't believe me.

Tom, look at me.

You know I wouldn't lie to you.

No. No! You have to believe me.

Someone has to believe me. Aliens have impregnated my mother.

the Chief was spotted five hours ago in the cafeteria.

he got an apple and a yogurt. And then he met with Dr. Shepherd.

The meeting was brief and heated.

Then he drew the blinds.

He's probably sleeping.

That's speculation.

We have no proof of that.

You'd make a good lawyer ... If this doesn't work out.

Okay, Dr. Yang. You ready for rounds?

Continue with your course of treatment and keep me updated on any new developments.

You know, you don't look ready.

No, I'm ready. I

looked over your patient charts, and I noticed you have a shock wave lithotripsy scheduled for kidney stones this morning, and I was ... I've never done one of those, so I'm looking forward to it.

Now you're ready.

Come on. Let's go.

Okay. Thanks.

Okay, how long have you had the growth?

Can you cover the clock?

The number 5 bothers him.

Can you get something to cover the clock?

Are those cameras?

Tommy, what do we need from the store?

Why won't they leave me alone?

Do we need fruit?

Why won't you leave me alone?

What kind of fruit do we need, honey?

What kind of fruit?

Apples, pears, strawberries.

Make a list.

Could you give him a pencil and some paper?

He needs something to distract him from the voices.

Ma'am, the growth?

I'm sorry. I've had it for a while.

I've been meaning to get it checked, but, as you can see, my son's illness is a full-time job.

Karev, I'm gonna need you to get Mr. Crowley's wrist x-rayed while I get her up to M.R.I.

Why can't one of these fetuses babysit?

If that huge thing's a triple-A, I want in.

I can do the wrist.

Dr. Karev has more experience

The patient is paranoid and hypervigilant, which means he's bound to pick up on the fact that Dr. Karev doesn't want to be here, and he may interpret that as

Dr. Karev being out to get him.

I aced my psych clerkship.

How'd it go with the Chief?

Richard's not talking to me.

What? Why?

I don't know. He's just ... He's not himself.

Well, what's he doing? He's hiding out.

How are you holding up?

You've been up for, like, what, 36 hours?

48. But I'm good, actually.

I feel like it's all gonna be okay, like we're all gonna keep our jobs and we're all gonna be amazing people and live amazing lives.

Unstable childhood. I get calm in a crisis.

This is a crisis, right?

I don't know.

I don't know what this is.

Look who's coming.

Have you seen Sage? She's 6, light brown hair, gorgeous blue eyes. She just had a tumor removed from her belly so she has a bandage on her tummy.

Why don't you check under the bed? Maybe she's there.

Her labs are better than we expected.

She's not under the bed.

Maybe try the bathroom?

Maybe she slipped in there?

How did she do last night? Did she get any sleep?

She did.

I didn't.

Bathroom's clear.

Wait. Shh.

I think that there's something coming from your pocket.

Is Sage inside your pocket?

She's hiding here.

You gotta look in your pocket first.

No, I don't, because I found you already.

Now I just need to check your incision site, so ... Don't touch it. It hurts.

I bet that Mr. Bear would like to see Sage's scar.

Wouldn't you, Mr. Bear?

Yes, I would.

I'm surprised to see you back so soon.

You look great.

Thank you. So do you.

How are you feeling?

I feel great. How do you feel?

What I meant was ... I know what you mean. I feel fine

I'm ready to work. Here is Mr.

Trinidad's latest pre-op labs.

I told him you'd stop in to say hello before the surgery.

And unless there's anything else you can think of that I need to know, I was gonna run to get his consent form.

That pretty much covers it unless anybody has any questions.

Is there anything you can tell us about the merger? Because I'm having a baby.

My wife is having a baby.

Resident Megan is having a baby. Am I gonna lose my job?

Right now, I'm concerned about my patient. You should be, too.

I just got my hair cut.

It looks nice.

The nurse out there, the one with the red hair, she's laughing at me.

You tell her I just got it cut, and they cut it too short, and that's why my ears are sticking out.

I'm sure she's not laughing at you.

How's that feel?

It feels like my ... hand's falling off. It feels like ... They put something in it to make my hand fall off, like it's snakes or something.

You don't have a name tag.

I guess I don't.

The other doctor had a name tag on her coat.

I had to change my lab coat, and this one ... You think I'm an idiot?

You're working for them. You've got my mother, and now you're trying to get me. Stay away from us.

I keep telling you people to stay away from us!

I called security. They're on their way.

Where's psych? I asked you to page them an hour ago.

I paged them twice. If you want to see the log book ... I want to know how a paranoid patient managed to get out of the E. R.

Where were you?

I had stepped away from my desk to deal with another patient.

And normally, being a punching bag for the doctors is just a part of the job, but there's a merger, and we're all being looked at, and I am not about to go down for a mistake that wasn't mine.

So if you'll excuse me, I'll page psych again.

Okay, Mr. Trinidad, your shunt revision is pretty simple.

It shouldn't take longer than an hour.

But I do need to go over the possible complications with you.

Dr. Stevens, could I have a word?

If you could just give me a minute until I'm done here, I'm sorry. This will only take a minute.

Excuse me.

What?

How are you holding up?

Fine.

Did you take your meds this morning?

Not yet, but I will.

You're supposed to take them at 9:00.

It's only a little after 9:00.

It's 10:15.

Run down to her locker and get her meds.

Are they in your purse?

But you don't have to get them.

Yes, you do.

No, you don't. Alex.

I swear to God, if you don't go and get her pills right now, I'm gonna hurt you and I'm gonna like it.

You can't do this.

You can't treat me like I'm sick. My patients need to have faith in me.

What are you doing?

Your wig, it was crooked.

I'll stop hovering if you stop acting like an idiot.

Your next pill is at 2:00.

You can't take it on an empty stomach.

Tyler Lee, 9 years old, came in with renal colic three days ago that has not resolved.

We are going to be performing extracorporeal shock wave therapy today to break up the stones in his ureter so they can pass.

No, we're not.

Yes, we are.

No, we're not, 'cause there was no blood in his urine this morning.

Just in case? We should do the procedure just in case?

You want to do a surgical procedure on a 9 year old even though it's no longer indicated?

No, of course not.

So, Dr. Yang, do you want to tell the good news to Tyler and his mom?

It seems as though your son's stones may have passed on their own.

He doesn't need surgery?

Looks like he healed himself.

Can you believe that, Dr. Yang?

On your first day in peds.

No, I can't, actually.

Does this mean I can eat?

Dr. Yang can go get you something.

An abdominal aortic aneurysm ... 8. 7 centimeters.

This thing has a 75% chance of rupturing.

She's a ticking time b*mb.

I'm surprised she woke up this morning, let alone got into a car.

Cancel all my elective surgeries this afternoon and book an O.R.

We need to get her in there A. S. A. P.

Jodie, we're done.

I'll meet you back downstairs to go over the results.

Have you seen Tom?

I thought he was with you?

He was, but he left. Well, he att*cked me, and then he left.

You told me you could handle this.

I can ... it's under control. Don't worry.

I've called security. I just thought maybe his mom would have an idea ... his mom has a triple-A.

The last thing she needs to know is that her mentally ill son is loose in the hospital.

I know this is bad. I know this is really, really bad.

I'm gonna stop listening to you because the words you're saying are hurting me.

Find him!

You look crazy.

This is partly your fault.

You're the one who told me to go act like I deserve to be here and I did and now I lost a schizophrenic.

And I am gonna be fired unless

I find the schizophrenic.

You're not gonna find him back there.

You do not get to be charmed by this because this is not charming!

This is me getting cut from the program.

You're already amazing. I am just starting out.

I have never stapled a bowel, and I have never resected an esophagus.

I am not amazing yet!

All right. Let's just breathe.

And again.

Good. Look at me.

Security is on this.

You have become a crazy person I do not recognize.

I want Lexie back. Can I get Lexie back?

Stay away from me! You get back!

God, that's him.

Stop! Get back!

Where's my mother? What have you done with her?

Mrs. Crowley, there is evidence that your son may have suffered some injury in this fall. Now, we don't think that it's bad but we just need to do an ultrasound to make sure.

He's been sedated, but I need you to wait here until we've completed this, all right?

I never shoulda left him alone.

I knew it. I knew it.

I need to talk to you about your test results.

The wall of your aorta is dangerously thin and could burst at any moment, and when that happens, it will most likely k*ll you.

I'm not mincing my words right now because I need you to understand the severity of the situation.

I need to take you up to surgery right now.

I can't.

I can't have surgery right now.

I can't leave Tom. He's injured. He's upset.

This has been a rough day on him.

I can't. No. It'll have to wait.

Well, isn't there someone that you can call?

My ex-husband left when tom first got sick, and friends have fallen away. It's only me.

We have services, so, we can arrange to ... I can't just leave him with a stranger.

I need time ... To hire someone and train them to know that if he's watching tv and he's holding his head a certain way, it means the television is talking to him and he needs to be distracted.

He likes shopping, but they can't take him to the place on Lee Road because he thinks they're out to get him.

So they have to go to the place on River Road.

But they've gotta park in the back, because underground parking makes him upset.

And it goes on and on and on.

So, no. Please ... I need time.

A week.

I've made it this long. I

can make it another week.

I'm not sure that you have another week.

I need you to think about yourself right now.

I have a mentally ill son.

I don't get to think of just myself anymore.

What are you doing here?

Oh, I was just, I just stopped by to get some old case files.

For what?

This job opening in Portland.

Oregon?

The merger. I mean, the Chief already got rid of me once, so ... Well, it's ... that's smart.

That's smart of you to have backups.

You know, I'm working with

Cristina. She's interested in peds.

No, she isn't.

Yeah, she is.

Well, what? Did she say something to you?

She didn't have to. She's Cristina.

You have to help me out here, 'cause

I don't know what that means.

I shouldn't say anything. She's my roommate.

And you're my girlfriend.

Girlfriend trumps roommate. Fine.

She's Cristina. She's all about cardio.

So she's probably sucking up to you to get through the merger.

I mean, is she good with the kids?

She's sucking up.

Nice pin.

His name's Mr. Bear. He eats children.

Not having fun in peds?

My kid wants chocolate pudding really badly.

This is the last one.

My triple-A got canceled. You guys got any surgeries I can get in on?

No, I'm on post-ops. And she's babysitting.

I can't stand it any longer.

Can't you go to the Chief and use your dead-mommy connections to get some answers?

We don't need dead mommy. We are going to be fine.

So I let a crazy man escape, and he fell down a flight of stairs.

Is it surgical?

I don't know. I got kicked off the case.

So then I went to go watch a surgery.

I figured, I can't screw that up.

And the second I get to the gallery, the shunt went south and starts bleeding.

I left before Shepherd could blame me for it.

Shepherd's shunt went bad?

They had to convert to an open craniotomy ... something I'll probably never get a chance to do.

She can't handle a craniotomy.

See? Even he sees it.

He's not talking about you.

He's talking about Izzie.

I really admire you ... in case I get cut and don't get a chance to tell you.

Plus, you're really pretty.

You can have the rest.

And you and I, we were getting so close.

I need to speak with Dr. Stevens, please.

Alex, I'm in surgery.

Alex, leave.

Dr. Shepherd, could you please tell Dr. Karev to leave?

She gets tired walking to the mailbox.

She can't handle another 5-hour surgery.

I know what I can handle.

No one's gonna think any less of you if you walk out of here now. Just walk out now.

Stevens, have this conversation outside.

No, I'm not leaving. Alex.

You paged me. What's going on?

You have to tell the Chief that you need me, that George was your guy, but he d*ed.

So you need a new guy, and that's me.

Okay? Right now. Let's go. Go, go, go.

If anyone's safe in this merger, it's you.

Just be casual but firm. He likes you. Go.

I played hide-and-seek today and didn't go to surgery because some 9 year old miraculously peed without blood.

I can't do this anymore.

Then don't.

Tell Dr. Robbins you don't think peds is your thing. What's the big deal?

The big deal is that the Chief in there right now making a list ... You don't know that.

A list of who stays and who goes, and I can't be on that "goes" list.

If you are, you will deal with that.

"If" I am? Okay, if I ... there can be no if.

I have to be on the "stays" list.

That list is everything. That list is my future.

Calm down.

It's my salvation. The list is life.

Schindler's list? You're comparing this merger to the holocaust?

I'm jewish. I'm allowed.

You're irrational.

So this is a no?

This is a no.

And somebody page Sloan again, stat.

Right away, doctor.

Okay, Elizabeth, Take me through exactly what happened.

I was doing a crash c-section on this 32-weeker.

I had the incision done in five minutes flat.

I must have cut too deep, because when I went in to take the baby, I pulled the arm a little, and the ... Oh, my God.

Get me the umbilical cord.

Umbilical cord?

Just get it.

I got it. I got the umbilical cord.

Good. Give me about 5 centimeters of it.

What's going on?

Arm got damaged during a stat "c."

I'm gonna use the umbilical artery if it's still viable.

It looks a little dry.

It looks like it's gonna work.

She's stable. Let's put it in antibiotic solution and move this party to the O.R.

I'm sorry. I just ... I wanted to make sure that you're okay.

Are you okay?

I injured my spleen, and they're just waiting to see if it stops bleeding on its own.

Good.

I'm glad you seem ... You seem better, and I'm glad.

Anyway, I should go. I'm not really supposed to be here, so ... Oh, it's all right. They've got me in restraints.

I wouldn't be able to hurt you even if the voices told me to.

It's a joke.

Schizophrenia humor.

There's this thought that I ... I'm trying to get it out, and ... I keep thinking that they planted a camera ... in my stomach during the ultrasound.

And I was gonna wake my mother and have her, you know, talk me down, but she's tired, and ... Here is ... your spleen.

See?

And this bright spot right here, that's blood.

That's not supposed to be there.

But ... No camera.

No camera.

I can leave this up if you want.

So that when the thoughts come back, you can look and you can see that they're not real.

They're just scary thoughts.

They're not real.

Thank you.

Little more suction.

It's 2:00, Izzie.

Oh, my God.

Stevens, no more fighting in my O.R. go deal with this.

I hate you.

Shut up.

Oh, God.

Thank you.

Shut up. Get back to work.

Has Mrs. Crowley agreed to the surgery?

She's gonna go home, and she's gonna die.

Then what's that boy gonna be left with?

He needs surgery.

Does he need a transfusion?

Is there active bleeding?

No, his crit's stable.

And I know we don't operate unless there's an active bleed, but it's so close, and if we operate on him, maybe she'll let us operate on her.

That way, we can keep them together.

Through the surgery, through the recovery, they'll be together and maybe you think this is a bad idea that I'm proposing unnecessary surgery.

And, maybe you'll tell the

Chief, and the Chief will think that it makes me a bad doctor. But

I think it makes me a good doctor and I think

Stop talking.

Are my words hurting you again?

You're right.

It's a good idea.

How does this happen? Was Chen just not paying attention?

She made a mistake.

Wrong time to make a mistake, with the merger.

You people need to stop with the doom and gloom merger scenarios.

I just read somewhere that the hospital's revenues actually went up last quarter.

Except for elective procedures, which went down 13%.

You mean elective procedures like plastic surgeries?

Now you're saying that I'm gonna get fired?

I don't think anyone is safe.

I'm safe.

How can you be sure?

We're about to reattach a baby's arm here.

So we need to stop thinking about the merger and think instead about this little girl throwing a ball and holding a spoon and waving bye-bye to her parents.

I'm not letting you cut me open.

You're gonna put a camera in me.

You are one of them.

Okay, Mrs. Crowley ... He's scared. He said no.

Tom, you need this surgery.

And you will feel better after it. And your mom?

Your mom's surgery will save her life.

Look, Tom. Look at me.

Look at me. Okay? I am not an alien.

I'm not one of them.

My name is Miranda Bailey.

I have a 3-year-old son.

And I would do anything for him, just like your mom would do anything for you.

Now she needs you to do this for her. Because otherwise, she will die.

And you will be alone.

Look. See? Red.

Red blood.

See? I'm human.

I am a doctor.

And I want to help you and your mom.

But you have to trust me.

I think we're there.

If it pinks up, we'll know we've done our job right.

Releasing the bulldog clamps. Here we go.

That's how I know my job is safe, Dr. Yang, because I reattach babies arms.

You know, it's not a good idea to piss off your attending.

I didn't know he was upset. I'll apologize.

I wasn't talking about him.

Sorry?

I like kids and I like their parents, and I like to see them smile. So I like going to get them pudding and playing games with them, because it makes attaching their arms way more fun.

I don't like being used.

I wasn't u ... And I like being lied to even less.

What do we need from the store, sweetheart?

Tell me what we need from the store.

Apples, pears, strawberries.

Apples, pears, strawberries.

What if I don't make it?

Now you don't worry about that. Let me do that.

Let's go.

The bleeding's stopped.

Let's close up.

Stevens, scrub out.

No, I'm fine. I'm your resident. I got it.

Someone else can close up.

You've been on your feet for five hours.

You look exhausted.

I'm not. I'm fine.

You're dripping with sweat.

All right. You know what? Just take my wig off.

Just take it off. Take it off.

Just pat down my head.

All right. You can just put the cap back on.

Okay, thank you.

I'm fine.

Isobel Stevens spent five hours on her feet in surgery today, Not because she was ready to go back to work, but because she was scared.

She's scared for her job and she was scared to show weakness.

You don't have to talk to me. That's fine.

But you need to go out there and talk to your people.

They need to hear from you.

Don't tell me about my people.

I've been here for 30 years, Derek.

I know my people.

I have spent every hour of the last three days trying to save every job I could.

But some tough choices had to be made.

H. R. is sending out an e-mail to the first round of people to be let go.

I'm tired. I'm going home.

What's going on? You paged us.

Check your e-mail.

For what?

H. R. if you got cut, you'll have an e-mail.

I didn't get one, but ... I've been calm. Through this crisis, I have been calm.

But if one of us gets cut, I will not be calm.

No e-mail.

I'm fine.

I'm good, too.

Good. See? I knew it.

I knew it. I knew none of us would get cut.

Yet. There's gonna be another round.

So I'm there in the spleen repair with Dr. Hunt, and he's got the cautery and he's moving it back and forth, you know, fixing bleeders, and then he just hands it to me ... Like it's the most normal thing in the world to do, like I repair spleens all the time.

And so I do it.

I repair the spleen on my own.

And I just ... I realized, you know, if we just focus on our jobs, if we focus on our patients, we're gonna be fine.

Megan got cut.

I didn't, but she did.

What? How?

The Chief sent out an e-mail.

He fired three-quarters of our class.

We're having a baby.

Terry. Hey, Terry.

It's been a real pleasure working with you.

Thanks

Sorry about everything.

So what did I do wrong, so

I can learn for next time?

You didn't do anything wrong.

This is about the money.

I've been here seven years.

All my friends are here.

I'll find another job, but, it's seven years. You have no idea.

Look, if you need a job recommendation, anything, just call me, okay?

Rough day.

I need some sleep.

Let's go home.

No, I can't. I just got kicked off of peds.

I'm totally screwed.

Cristina, come on ... No, I can't sleep. I can't ... I can't leave if she's not leaving.

We're all susceptible to it ...

the dread and anxiety of not knowing what's coming.

No way.

Are you serious?

I'm gonna go to the Chief myself.

And I'm gonna tell him you're the best second-year resident I've ever seen.

I'm safe.

I didn't get cut, Mark. I'm safe.

It's pointless in the end ...

I hate, hate, hate this merger because I hate long-distance relationships.

I don't believe in them. So ... You can't move to Portland.

When I mentioned it this afternoon, you didn't seem to mind.

You were like,"move to Portland."

I didn't know that I was allowed to mind.

I didn't know if we were girlfriends, but then, you said "girlfriend." You called me your girlfriend, so I need to know.

Am I your girlfriend?

Good

So, yeah. No, you're not moving to Portland.

No, but what you are gonna do is you're gonna go into the Chief's office, and you're gonna beg ... I'm not gonna grovel.

You are. Seriously, you don't want to mess with me.

Because all the worrying ...

and all the making of plans

for things that could or could not happen ...

it only makes things worse.

I forgot he was dead today.

For a few hours in surgery, I forgot I had cancer and I forgot he was dead.

But George is dead ... and you do have cancer.

I want you to keep doing what you love.

You're a great doctor.

And you have a fantastic future ahead of you.

But you gotta step up and start taking care of yourself.

You gotta take your meds, you gotta eat, you gotta pace yourself ... Because I can't be your nurse.

I can't.

So walk your dog ...

or take a nap.

Just, whatever you do, stop worrying.

I'm sorry. I don't have time for games.

I have to get back to the hospital.

She's right. She does have to go back to the hospital.

We're not gonna talk about the hospital. We're here to play baseball.

And drink beer

Drink a beer.

What more do you want in life?

How can I drink beer when all my friends just got fired?

I'm sorry. I'm leaving.

You need this. Put this on. That's right.

There we go.

Now hit the ball.

I don't want to hit the ball.

What, are you trying ... You need to stop thinking about what's gonna happen, and you need to focus on what is right in front of you.

Now hit the ball.

Because the only cure for paranoia ...

Now you like baseball.

Unbelievable.

All right, here we go, little Grey. Let's go.

Is to be ...

Here ...

Just as you are.

onelleged team for monopede. org