07x21 - I will Survive

[bunniefuu]

We've all heard the same.

It's one of those things we've learned in seventh grade science class.

Adapt or die.

I ... don't understand.

It's two words: No sex.

I'm sure there should be more words.

If you're gonna choose chief resident, you have to be impartial.

Come on. This? Now?

Sex with me, however hot and excellent, could cloud your judgment.

This is blackmail is it what it is.

No, it is not. Final interviews are today, and coincidentally, I am on your service.

Coincidentally. - Well, since Teddy's shutting me out of cardio, where I can show my stuff, I'm gonna show it to you.

So today you'll see me not as your naked and desirable wife ... Mm.

But as a focused, organized, efficient, and deserving candidate who's getting in the shower.

No. I'll come with you.

No. No, no. No clouding.

Owen, this hurts me more than it hurts you.

No, it doesn't.

I know.

Adapting isn't easy, though.

You have to fight your competition, fend off their att*cks, and sometimes, you have to k*ll.

Good morning.

You're meeting with Owen this morning, right?

Yeah.

You're not gonna say anything about me or the trial, right?

You know, I thought you were gonna say something like "good luck,"

but I guess it's every freakin' man for himself, huh?

You do what you need to do to survive.

But tell him that you were instrumental in getting the chief's trial approved for phase 1 human testing ... from mice to humans.

I'm not doing that.

Well, okay, I know, you don't like bragging about yourself, but you don't even have to brag.

I mean, your diabetes trial does it for you.

It's gonna win every award. Seriously.

Just make sure that he knows that you ... - I got it.

That you have been instrumental ... Got it.

He don't got it.

I got it.

I got the job at Baylor.

Over 50 applicants, I ... I got it.

That's awesome.

Well, um, I don't know. I mean ... it's in Texas.

There are a lot of factors to consider, right?

Yeah, but it's what you wanted. It's, uh, it's a great program.

Well, I-I mean, I was thinking of sticking around here for another year ... - Crap. Oh, I gotta go.

I gotta prep for my meeting with Hunt.

Besides, if I'm here when you win chief resident, you'll still have a friend.

Look, we all get it's not personal.

I mean, it's a ... it's a competition.

Sometimes, you gotta be a shark.

Congratulations on Baylor.

Huh? You see?

Sorry I'm late. I was cramming.

What, for Hunt?

No.

You got that in the bag.

No, I'm more worried about the interview with the social worker.

Don't laugh at me, Derek.

Nothing in my life has prepared me for this.

My mother was about as nurturing as a steak Kn*fe. - I know. I know.

I don't know anything about making lunches or Halloween costumes.

Good moms make Halloween costumes.

Well, you can sew.

I sew skin.

Yeah. See? It's gonna be fine.

It's just instinct, right?

Here you go. There you go. Oh, there you go.

Okay. Okay. Oh.

She looks good. Her weight's up, and, uh, her previous incisions have healed.

The labs are within normal limits ... And she's super-duper cute, aren't you?

Okay. So it's an uncomplicated hernia.

So you don't have to use any artificial closures, right?

Yeah, no. No, it's really simple.

Good.

I'll do a short incision in her suprapubic crease to do a traditional exposure, and then I'll ... Finish with a ... Chupo.

Oh, God. I'm sorry.

That's ... that's what Callie calls a pacifier.

But Zola hasn't eaten because of the surgery.

She's probably hungry. Um, you might want to try to soothe her with the pacifier.

Come here, baby. Come here, little baby.

Chupo. Oh, yes. There you go. Ooh.

Chupo.

Wow.

All right. I'll call you when I'm ready to come take her up.

See? We'll figure it out.

Are you excited?

It's been a month, Abena. You ready to go home?

I snagged some extra hydroxyurea.

Wait, wait, wait.

You forgot something.

You need to take that at home, okay?

Along with your antibiotics.

It's gonna help with the sickle cell symptoms, and the att*cks will be less severe when they happen. - Thank you.

I'll make sure she takes it.

Now you have sickle cell, Lebo, so you need to make sure you take some, too.

Yes, ma'am.

Promise me?

Yes, Dr. Alex.

Oh. And don't forget ... you both have to have your blood counts monitored at the clinic, even if you feel fine.

I will, just as you told me. I promise.

Thank you. Thank you for helping my sister.

Thank you so much.

Oh.

Are you in pain, Lebo?

No, no, I am fine. We have to go.

Dr. Bailey.

Well, maybe we should check you out.

She'll miss the plane. It's no trouble.

I'm fine.

Okay. Wait, hold ... Aah! Aah!

Gurney!

Oh. Okay, okay, okay.

How about her?

She's smiling. Who smiles when they go for a run?

Happy people.

Happiness is overrated. What about you?

Shouldn't what's his name be off to save the world pretty soon?

What's his name is taking a break from world saving.

He was offered a permanent position at Landstuhl, so ... On your left.

Oh, watch out.

It's a U. S. m*llitary hospital in Germany, and he leaves in a week.

That's great.

He asked me to go with him.

Wow.

You okay?

Uh, yeah.

I mean, I-I really ... I like him.

I-I feel like things could be good with us.

That's just crazy, right?

I mean, besides, I have too many obligations here.

I'm in the middle of my contract, I-I have residents to teach, I have you.

Okay. You just listed me as an obligation.

No. That ... that's not what I meant. I mean, no, you're not ... No, I get it. Like I'm dead weight.

I'm an anchor, dragging you down. I'm horrible.

No, stop. That's ... no. I-I ... If I move, it might cause your insurance headaches.

I'm just saying that we would sort of ... We would just have to sort it out.

Okay.

Okay.

What about her?

Yeah, if a unibrow was my thing, I'd be all over that.

You're hopeless.

What do you got?

17-year-old pregnant female with syncopal

Episode outside the E. R.

Look, she's got blood in her left lower quadrant.

Could be a splenic rupture, but it's hard to tell. - Abena ... Abena's fine. Don't worry about her right now.

You need to worry about yourself.

You need to have surgery.

Lebo, why didn't you tell us you were pregnant?

You would've said I cannot fly. I had to be here for my sister.

Is something wrong with my baby?

I see a strong heartbeat, but there's not much fluid surrounding the baby, and he's very small for 32 weeks.

She's eight months along?

Yeah, I'm gonna need to monitor this baby.

Well, we need to take her to C.T. first to see where the abdominal bleeding's coming from.

Okay, I'll meet you in surgery.

She's barely breathing. I'll get an ambu.

I've got blood hanging, but her B. P. 's still dropping.

No time for a C.T.

All right, call up and get an O.R. ready.

It's based on a protocol used in aviation. - Mm-hmm.

A simple checklist has led to a huge drop in plane crashes.

'Cause it cuts down on human error.

Exactly, and I thought instead of ... Here you go.

Thanks ... telling you about it in an interview, I'd walk you through it.

Mm-hmm.

So the checklist is the first page on every patient clipboard so you can see at a glance that Mr. Aranda has been checked in for coughing up blood, has been seen by a physician, has had a chest X-ray, and those results have come back, so now we just need to get a consent for bronchoscopy to rule out cancer.

Cancer? He might have cancer?

Like grandpa had?

He d*ed. - Whoa, whoa. What are you talking about?

I'm sorry. I-I said "rule out cancer."

There's a spot on your X-ray that we just need to take a closer look at so that we can be sure that your dad's just fine.

Just to be sure, okay?

Okay. So that's, uh ... update the patient.

Dr. Hunt, bed seven is admitted for observation, bed five is discharged, I put in a drain in bed nine, and I'm reporting for further instruction.

You are organized.

And focused and efficient.

Okay. Well, Mr. Aranda here needs to go up to bronchoscopy.

Well, I'll take him.

Oh, actually, no.

Proper protocol is to page Dr. Altman.

She will schedule the bronchoscopy.

See? It's right here on the checklist.

Protocol. Okay, so the next step is the O.R. checklist.

Mr. Aranda, let's get you up to bronchoscopy.

Oh, there's a lot of bleeding here.

Uh, more suction.

Where's the source?

Well, so far the spleen looks good.

Just keep exploring.

Uh, just a little more retraction there, please.

Whoa.

Uh ... What's he doing there?

Nobody move. Gown me. I'm going in.

Um, how did her baby get tangled up in her intestines?

Right over here.

The baby survived a full term outside of the uterus?

Yeah, it's extremely rare.

Her tubes are scarred, so the fertilized egg found a place to implant where it could continue to grow.

Dr. Bailey, grab his foot while I free him from these adhesions.

Well, why didn't it show up on the ultrasound?

Believe it or not, it's missed about 50% of the time.

Keep suctioning. Okay, he's coming out.

Clamps to Dr. Robbins, please. Dr. Karev, cut the cord and take him to get checked out.

Okay, the blood in her abdomen is from her placenta ripping apart.

We need to remove as much as possible.

Be prepared for torrential hemorrhage. Check the ... Pressure's dropping.

Damn it. Clamps. Zero vicryl.

We gotta stop this bleeding, or we're gonna lose her.

Crossmatch six more units of R. B. C. S and get them up here, stat. Alex, I don't hear that baby.

Come on, buddy. Give it up.

And I've been doing some research on diabetes, and I heard you're starting a clinical trial.

I-I'd like to see if I could get on it.

Well, the trial has very specific criteria.

I mean, the subjects have to remain impartial.

The fact that you're married to one of my attendings ... Look, I know that you have never been wild about the fact that Teddy married me, but the truth is, I really like her ... And not just for her insurance.

But she still sees me as a patient, as a ... as an insurance sponge.

I need to get my own insurance, so in order to do that I need a job, and in ord to get a job, it would be helpful if I wasn't going into diabetic shock every five minutes.

Hey, um, what's this?

Just a ... Oh.

Hey. Hunt. Uh, my knee replacement got canceled, and I need to break some bones.

Aren't you supposed to mend them?

Well, it's my first day back, and I left my baby for the first time since we got home.

I need to remember why I

love being a surgeon so much or I'm afraid I will walk out of here and never come back.

It doesn't have to be big.

Just a sprained ankle, hairline fracture, anything.

Okay. - Oh, my God. Anytime I hear a baby cry, it makes me think of Sofia.

They all sound like her. Wait. That really sounds like her.

What? What are you doing here?

It's bring your daughter to work day.

No, it's not.

I bathed her, changed her. I fed her, I napped her.

Hi.

We read a book, played with that little hanging, jingling thing ... And it was still only 11:30. I needed some adult contact.

Please take this baby away from me.

Sure.

I'm serious. Take her, Mark.

Okay.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. This baby's cr*ck.

She's a cr*ck baby.

You shouldn't call her that.

Torres. You're in luck. Motorcycle crash 20 minutes out.

Yes. Okay.

Oh, I love you, but mommy's gotta go to work.

Take her, Mark.

Give me the baby.

Just physically lift her from my arms.

Oh, no. - No, no. It's not that bad.

Okay. I'll be right ... Back ... back you go.

Okay.

Lebo's bowel looks clean.

We got all the adhesions.

How's the baby?

Good. Apgar score's 9 and 10.

How's she doing?

We got the bleeding under control and removed the placenta, and we're about to close.

She's gonna be just fine.

Yeah, for now.

She's gonna go back there.

She won't get the follow-up care that she needs.

Once she and her sister run out of the sickle cell meds we gave them, then what are they gonna do?

The best they can.

What about the kid? He's probably a sickler, too.

Who's gonna give him his vaccination?

Well, how about you, Karev?

What?

You.

Go there. Go back with them.

The job at Namboze clinic has never been filled.

They're looking for someone who's single, unattached, with minimum three years residency.

There's a med school loan forgiveness grant attached to it.

They've already been coordinating with you.

I mean, they know you. You're kind of perfect.

Well, that's pretty far to go for a follow-up exam.

You'd be great. I could take care of it with one call.

So you just think about it.

Sir.

Oh, Avery. Uh, that chart over there ... Henry Burton ... needs to be screened.

If he meets the criteria, put him in line for phase 1.

Chief, I, um, I'm sorry.

I need to step away from the trial.

You what?

I appreciate the opportunity, I do, and I don't want to inconvenience you going forward ... I'm not worried about me.

You were a big part of getting this thing where it is.

I don't know why you want to give it up.

Well, that's very nice of you to say, sir.

But I feel like I need to focus on surgery right now.

You sure about this?

Respectfully, yes.

I am.

Thank you, sir.

Excellent work, Dr. Karev.

Grey, just give me two seconds.

Okay.

No, I didn't say anything.

But maybe you should if you're so worried about it, before somebody finds out.

No one is going to.

Grey. Ready?

Yeah.

Okay, there it is.

It doesn't look like a tumor.

It looks like ... Wait. What is that?

I'm gonna come at it from a different angle.

There. That's better.

I just need to get a little closer.

Oh, my God.

Wait. Is that ... Is that a ... is it?

Yes.

Should we call Dr. Altman?

No.

No.

Merry Christmas. You don't have a tumor.

You have a tree growing in your lung.

My husband has a what?

A-a tree.

You could have, uh, inhaled a seedling and somehow, it took root and started growing in there.

We were, um, trimming our trees a couple of months ago, and ... and stuff was flying around, but ... but ... but how can it grow?

There's ... there's no light, there's no soil.

I-it happens. Somehow, it just adapted.

So my dad doesn't have cancer?

No, he doesn't. Uh, but he'll need a little surgery, and then he'll be fine.

Dr. Yang, can I please see you in the hall?

My dad doesn't have cancer.

That's great.

Um, to be clear, I never said he had cancer.

You were wrong. You're a bad doctor.

Shh. Hey. Come on.

Dr. Yang, one minute, please.

I'll be back.

You falsified his checklist.

I streamlined it, and I

found a tree in his lung.

You never paged Dr. Altman. You just h*jacked this patient.

A tree, April. A conifer.

That's ... Well, that's ... mm-hmm.

Well, did ... did you ... did you tell Dr. Altman?

No. I found it. He's my patient.

And I'm gonna take it out myself. You're what?

It's a biopsy ... like a glorified lung biopsy.

Otherwise known as a thorocotomy, which is a procedure that needs to be supervised by an attending ... one little breach in protocol won't ... oh! So you do admit it was a breach of protocol?

April, if you do this with me, I will put in a good word for you with Owen.

Why would you do that?

'Cause it's a tree in a man's lung.

Got your C.T. And blood work, reviewed your files.

Yes, and?

And it looks like medically, you're a candidate.

But, uh, I still have some reservations.

Oh, Dr. Webber.

Andrew Perkins. Well, this is a surprise.

Hope you're not here on business.

Uh, actually, I have a lunch date with Dr. Altman.

Hey.

Hey. Hey.

Uh, Andrew, this is my ... my friend, uh, who I told you about.

Oh, the v. H. L. Guy with, uh, diabetes?

Among other things, yes.

H-Henry Burton. Uh, sorry. I didn't mean ... no, it's fine. I am ... I'm Teddy's friend, the v. H. L. Guy with diabetes.

But hopefully, not for long.

Henry's gonna be on my clinical trial.

That's ... that's great. You didn't tell me that.

Well, I don't like to brag, so ... So should we get to lunch?

Yeah. Yeah, sure. Um, congratulations.

Thanks.

I'm in? What about your reservations?

You're going against Andrew Perkins.

Let's just say, uh, I have a thing for the underdog.

He is a handsome man.

He's also one of the world's foremost trauma counselors.

If there's an earthquake, a plane crash, any kind of catastrophe ... he swoops in to help.

So you're saying, he's a professional knight in shining armor.

I'm saying you need all the help you can get.

Thanks.

How long of a commitment would you need?

Okay.

No, I-I understand.

Yeah, I-I just wanted a few days.

Yeah. I will.

You, too.

How's she doing?

Was that ... were you just talking to the namboze clinic?

Yeah. Yeah, I just wanted to get, uh, some more specifics.

So you're gonna go. I don't know.

I mean, I'd get to do incredible surgeries right there in the trenches, plus, I'd be the boss.

I mean, after bringing all these kids over here, I can't imagine going back to just being a resident.

Being chief resident could be cool.

I mean, that would be a reason to stay, but I mean, who knows?

And if I don't get it, where does that leave me?

I'm left here with nothing.

What do you think?

Stay or go?

At this point, I really don't think it matters what I think.

Hey, what are you doing?

Getting ready to remove a tree from a guy's lung.

No time for mommy prep.

Okay, what if the social worker wants to ask me about the time I spent sleeping around Europe?

Oh, that's easy. You were absorbing other cultures.

Okay, and what about the fact that my mother had early-onset Alzheimer's and may have passed the gene on to me?

Makes you more appreciative of the gift of life.

Mm. Okay, I put my hand on a b*mb in a body.

She could think that was ... Suicidal?

No. It was brave.

Uh, yeah, I told a sh**t to sh**t me.

Change the subject.

Chicks suck.

What's your problem?

Like you'd care.

I don't, but I've got four floors to k*ll in, and I'm on a hot streak.

Arizona offered me this job at her old clinic in Africa.

When I told Lucy I was thinking about it, she got all pissed and stormed off.

Well, did you ask her to come with you, tell her you'd miss her, look deeply into her eyes?

No.

Well, obviously, she's got feelings for you.

You're dead inside. You have no feelings.

By the way, you should take that job in Africa.

It'd be totally amazing.

You just want me out of the running for chief resident.

Just trying to help.

Ugh. Can I ask you a question?

Bring it.

Okay.

What is it about guy's with babies that makes women go crazy?

Doctor.

I mean, it's like when you're at the park ... - Thank you.

And you see a guy with a puppy. Now normally, you wouldn't even notice the guy, but then he's laughing, and the puppy's crawling all over him, and then he's ... he's tickling the puppy's little puppy belly, and then you're thinking, I wouldn't mind spending the rest of my life with that guy.

What is that?

Oh, everybody's looking at the baby, and no one's looking at Mark ... Except you.

Oh, Kepner.

Cristina.

Did you get the O.R. ?

I did. I ... Yes. Kepner, you know what?

I think I figured out something about you.

I have not had sex for, like, three days, and I think it's giving me super powers.

Everything is bright and clear.

I am solving problems.

No wonder you are so organized. You have virgin super powers.

I-I don't think that that has anything to ... No, seriously. Thank you.

I-I've been shut out of cardio for months, and today is, like, the first day I felt like myself.

Thank you. I really needed this.

Oh, my God.

What?

You're just, like, treating me like a friend.

Yeah. So?

I'll go in and excise the tree with minimal invasion to your lungs.

Dr. Yang.

Join us, please.

Sorry. I needed this, too.

I don't understand.

Why isn't Dr. Yang doing the surgery?

Well, she's certainly capable, but Dr. Altman is our chief of cardio.

I have experience with complex cases like yours.

Okay, see, I saw three doctors for this cough before I came here today.

They all said the same thing, "it'll go away. Be patient."

And then I wake up this morning, and I'm coughing up blood.

And then this one over here tells me it's cancer.

Come on. That is not what I said.

Then finally ... I meet Dr. Yang here.

And she says it's not a cough and it's not cancer, but a tree in my lung ... And just like that, I'm not gonna die.

I'm gonna be fine.

So if she can do the surgery, I'd like to stick with her.

All right. Here is a scenario for you.

You are chief resident, and one of your colleagues comes to you and says that he is dropping out of a clinical trial.

What do you say?

Dr. Hunt ... What do you tell him?

I'd urge him to think it through carefully, but I would respect his decision.

Well, my opinion is that you have a history of quitting when things get tough, of walking away when you're challenged.

Now maybe it's because you're not used to working hard for things or maybe because you have a fear of success, but I am telling you, you're making a big mistake here.

I hear you.

I just disagree.

Anything else?

No.

Thank you.

You're actually considering this?

Look, just answer the question.

Can she perform the surgery?

Yes, she can.

She is capable.

In my defense, I was simply streamlining the process and took the initiative ... Cut the crap. You went behind my back to spite me.

Well, you gave me no choice.

Okay, look, enough.

You obviously have axes to grind, and I'm not gonna stand here while you sort it out.

In the meantime, this patient needs surgery.

He's more comfortable with Yang doing it.

She should be suspended for insubordination, but you're gonna reward her instead?

I'll decide disciplinary actions, Dr. Altman, and I will take them out on Dr. Yang, not on the patient.

You will observe.

Yes, sir.

Kepner, you'll assist.

Oh, sir, under the circumstances, don't you think that it would ... The ... the decision's been made.

And I'll make sure Dr. Hunt considers this in his evaluation for chief resident.

Let's get him prepped.

If it's a sliding hernia, she could ligate her ovary.

She's freeing the hernia sac to make sure that doesn't happen.

Is she preparing to do a Goldstein test?

Is she thinking about exploring the other side?

Arizona is just being thorough.

Don't worry, okay? Everything's gonna be fine.

I wish you would stop saying that.

You don't know that.

Saying what?

"Everything's gonna be fine."

She's got a hernia, hydrocephalus, spina bifida.

Anything could happen.

Her bowel could rupture, her B. P. could drop out ... Robbins is not gonna let that happen.

She's gonna do ... - What if they find better parents for her?

Oh, come on. - What if they realize that we rushed into this without really knowing what we're doing ... Or that maybe a resident who works 80 hours a week isn't the best candidate for a mom?

So just please stop saying everything's gonna be okay, because you don't know that.

Okay.

Everything ... is gonna go ... the way it goes.

Thank you.

Mm-hmm.

Oh, please don't.

Oh.

This is the only place she'll fall asleep.

Turns out she's as bored with radiology as we are.

I'll get out of your way.

No, no, no. You stay.

Besides, I, uh, I haven't really seen her up close yet.

Wow.

She's so much bigger than the last time I saw her.

Eats like a champ.

Want to hold her?

W ... oh, no, no. No, it's okay.

Come on. Look at that face.

You know you want to.

No, it's o ... it's okay.

Yeah, I'll ... I'll just wake her, and then she'll cry, and then you'll hate me.

Besides, she, uh, doesn't look like she really wants to move.

Uh, I should go.

I, uh ... I am, uh, really happy for you.

You seem happy.

I am.

I have everything I always wanted.

Almost.

I have it. I have it.

Okay, can I get some more suction down here, please?

Look at that.

I can't believe it lived in there.

It managed to thrive in a hostile environment.

I'm gonna keep it.

What? No. No, no, it has to go to path and then get destroyed.

It's not cancer. It's a Christmas tree.

It's a pathology specimen.

Protocol ... - Protocol doesn't account for trees in people.

Protocol accounts for whatever comes up.

That's why we have protocol, so there are rules and steps that we can depend on.

I know the rules seem fussy and annoying and people hate them, and ... The people who enforce them are fussy and annoying, too, but they are there for a reason ... Fine!

Take it to path.

Thank you. I think you'll find ... It's not gonna be you, April.

I don't care how many boxes you check, you're not gonna be chief resident.

3-0 vicryl.

Here you go.

I, uh ... Gave Lebo platelets, and the baby is, uh, stable ... a little smushed, but stable.

It's hard to believe he spent the last eight months sleeping on a colon.

Nice work.

So you gonna do it ... Africa?

Honestly, I'm not sure.

It's a big decision to make in a day.

Are you in love with Lucy Fields?

Lucy and I, uh, it's new.

Why?

Because I don't want the person that I recommend to pull a me and go running back to the girl they left behind.

So just ... make sure you know what you're doing, or else you'll have me to answer to.

Hey.

Admit it ... you saw how good this baby looked on me, so you had to go get one of your own.

Everything's a competition with you.

How'd her surgery go?

Robbins said she's fine. She's feeding again.

Good, because Sofia can't wait to have a new friend.

Isn't that right, Sofia?

You and zola are gonna be best friends. Isn't that right?

Oh, you just wait.

This crap will be coming out of your mouth, too.

Well, let's hope so.

We're dealing with the international adoption treaties, and the waiver we need, they just don't ... Usually give those things out.

Well, you're ... both surgeons, you'd make good parents.

They're gonna see that.

We'd be naive get ahead of ourselves.

You're Derek Shepherd.

There's a reason I've been jealous of you my whole life, and it's not your hair.

You're gonna be okay. Even Sofia knows that.

Right, Sofia? Say hi ... Uncle Derek.

That's Zola's daddy. Yes, he is, right?

I'm gonna go feed her.

So I see here that your mother was a surgeon.

What was that like?

Uh, well, being raised by a surgeon, you definitely ... get to be very independent.

Um, and ... not that I would raise Zola the way that my mother raised me.

I, uh ... She ... didn't bake.

She wasn't a bake sale mom, and I ... plan on baking all the time.

How about you tell me about Zola?

Well, Zola had, uh, already had a shunt and spina bifida surgery, and then we realized she had this hernia.

And today in her surgery, it looked like she might go into S. V. T.

And just as the anesthesiologist was about to push the adenosine, it's like she knew to stop, and her heart just slowed down all by itself, and she went into sinus.

I-I'm sorry. That's not what you asked me, right?

I ... you want me to talk about how cute and sweet she is, and she is very cute and sweet, and I ... She ... I'm not doing very well, am I?

I don't have an agenda here, Dr. Grey.

I'm just trying to get a sense of who you are.

I'm a surgeon.

And, uh, I'm a good surgeon.

And I want to be a good mother.

Honestly, I don't know much about it.

But I am ready to learn, and I'm a fast learner.

And I will do whatever it takes to be a good mom.

You know what good moms do?

They brag about their babies, and that's what I heard today.

As it turns out, Zola's day didn't involve playgroup or baby gym class.

It involved surgery, and you knew where she was every second.

I appreciate you sharing that with me.

I was showing initiative.

That doesn't mean you get to pretend that you're an attending!

I wasn't pretending, I just didn't need an attending.

Oh, my God ... Teddy is doing a disservice to me and to the education that I deserve.

I had no choice but to take my learning into my own hands.

So I took the initiative and treated a patient and followed through to a successful outcome.

If that doesn't show the qualities of a chief resident, I don't know what does.

You're not gonna be the chief resident.

It's not gonna be you. I'm sorry.

Is this from the ... the chief or ... or from Teddy?

No, it's from me.

You r ... you know how important this is.

Chief resident can make your career.

You have your pick of fellowships.

You never had the qualifications.

Based on what?

Chief resident is more than just a resume boost.

It's managing schedules, overseeing interns, pushing papers, working within the system.

That isn't you. It's never been you.

You know, I'm ... I'm ... I'm protesting this.

You are screwing with my career.

And it will k*ll you.

You're a surgeon, and anything that keeps you from being a surgeon will hurt you and it will make you crazy.

We saw it today. You're not built for this job.

You will hate it and you will resent it you will fight against it until you fail.

So just ... just be a surgeon.

You know, it's ... it's what you are.

Just be excellent at what you are.

Are you done?

Yes.

Thank you for your time.

I'm not going to Africa.

Right. Uh, let me just say this ... No, it's the right thing. I-I can finish my residency, and then maybe we can both go to Africa.

Alex, I just ... just listen to me ... You were right this morning.

You said there were other factors to consider, and you are a factor.

I'm sorry I didn't say that sooner.

When Robbins said they were looking for someone single, I mean, that's how I think of myself because whenever I think of a future with someone, I always get kicked in the teeth, so I stopped even looking, but ... now with you ... Alex, stop.

Okay, just stop.

You were right this morning.

Career comes first. It's how it should be.

And so I ... I took the job.

So call 'em. Call Baylor.

At Namboze.

I took the job at Namboze clinic.

You what?

My job? You took my job?

Like you said, it's not personal.

Sometimes, you have to be a shark.

The job in Africa? The bitch stole it out from under me.

Who?

Lucy. I told her I'd stay.

You open yourself up to someone for one freakin' second ... Mm-hmm.

Calahan, I'll take a double whiskey.

I freakin' better get chief resident.

Here you go.

Scotch, please.

Here you go.

You know, the rules are there for a reason.

Oh, boy.

I k*lled a woman when I first started here.

I got fired for it ... Because I missed a little step ... one simple step.

We follow the protocols, we don't skip steps, people live ... simple as that.

You know, you're right.

I probably won't be chief resident, but the checklists work.

You can't tell me they don't.

Dropping out of the chief's trial is a real bonehead move, Avery.

Sir ... Such a bonehead move, that I started thinking, maybe the chief's trial is flawed.

So I looked into it myself.

The methodology is flawless.

In fact, it's the kind of stuff that, uh, wins awards ... big awards, like the Harper Avery.

You dropped out of the chief's trial

'cause you knew that if your name was on it, it would ruin the chief's chances.

I respect that you don't want to succeed on your name, but don't you ever let it hold you back.

There you are.

Hey. Everything okay?

Completely.

I wanted you to be the first to hear just how okay everything is.

I got my old job back.

You're kidding.

Mnh-mnh. I told 'em about Webber's trial and that I'm getting a new pancreas.

I've never used a pancreas as a selling point in a job interview before ... But it ... it did the trick, which means that I'm gonna have my own insurance in a couple of months.

That's really good news.

I'm glad you think so, because I've been ... I've been thinking about us and our situation and where we go from here, and I wanted to ask you ... - Teddy.

Uh, y-yeah. I-I will be right there, Andrew.

Lunch and dinner ... man's getting serious.

Well, dinner is to celebrate what we decided at lunch.

I'm going to Germany with him.

Uh, well, that's ... That's really good news, too.

It is.

Right?

Yeah.

Because like I said, I'm gonna be fine.

Which brings me back to the question that I wanted to ask you.

What's that?

May I please have a divorce?

Oh.

Yeah. I-I guess. Um ... Sure.

I mean ... You don't need me anymore, right?

Right.

I gotta go.

Yeah.

Yeah. Okay.

Adapt or die.

As many times as we've heard it, the lesson doesn't get easier.

Look who's here.

There you are.

I fed her, I changed her diaper.

Prettiest poop you ever saw.

Oh, really?

Hi, baby girl.

Oh, I missed you.

Yes, mommy got to be a surgeon again today.

I got to fix two dislocated shoulders and save a leg from amputation ... And a fractured ... yes.

Problem is ... We're human.

We want more than just to survive.

You staring at Sloan again?

Oh. The ... the baby. Did you see her?

How ... how did the interview go?

I'm out.

What? What happened?

It's a long story. It's fine.

Seriously. I'm okay with it.

I have you.

What else do I need?

We want love.

Hey.

Hi.

Hi, Zola.

I'm Meredith.

I'm hoping to be your mama.

We want success.

You know it's gonna be Mer, right?

It doesn't mean that you're a bad surgeon or a bad doctor.

Some people just ... don't fit the bill.

They're better at other things ... Like you and those kids. I mean, you're good at that.

But between you and Mer ... She's organized, people like her, people trust her.

She's natural.

People trust her.

I'm just saying, go steal your job back.

I mean, go to Africa. That what you're good at.

Go do what you're good at.

We want to be the best that we can be.

Okay, I know you're mad, but you can't just sit here and drink all night, so I'm gonna take you home and ... I ... okay, I was not expecting that.

You told me to be excellent, so I'm gonna be.

I'm gonna be an excellent surgeon and I'm gonna be excellent in bed tonight.

So we fight like hell to get those things.

You all right, Karev?

Meredith messed with the Alzheimer's trial.

Anything else feels ... Like death.