08x13 - If Then

[bunniefuu]

The baby you have is the baby you were destined to have.

What you thinkin', huh?

It was meant to be.

You gettin' tired?

That's what all the adoption people tell you anyway.

What you see?

Anyway, I like to think it's true.

But everything else in the world seems so completely random.

You gonna talk now, too?

What if one little thing I said or did ... Could have made it all fall apart?

What if I'd chosen another life for myself ... Or another person?

We might have never found each other.

What if I had been raised differently?

What if my mother had never been sick?

What if I'd actually had a good father?

What if?

What if?

What if?

Meredith.

Meredith.

Meredith.

Good morning, mom.

Morning.

Are you riding with me or with your father?

Because if you're riding with me, we have to leave now.

Don't wait. I'll go with dad.

Good.

Who's coming with me?

Oh, hiya, darling.

Hi.

Mwah.

Don't be late, Either of you. Sets a bad example.

I'm telling you ... It's true.

Oh, thank you so much.

You're welcome.

Okay.

All right.

I need you to sit right here and wait until mommy comes out, okay?

Don't move. Here. Play with your thingy.

And, uh, I'm gonna just be in the next room ... no, mommy!

Yes. Sit right there.

Hey, pumpkin.

Hi, daddy.

Hey, hey. Really?

Really? I mean, you couldn't figure out ... Anything else?

Well, Owen, if she's gonna schedule staff meetings before the day care opens, what do you expect me to do?

I know, I know.

Yeah.

Chief's here.

Okay, bye, guys.

I've been looking at Seattle pres' numbers, and I think we can absorb them the way we did mercy west.

I want reports on where your departments can use extra residents and equipment.

Congratulations on your third Harper Avery Award.

Yes.

Portal vein reconstruction ... pretty soon they're gonna rename The Whipple The Grey.

Thank you.

Well, there's some press here today ... FYI.

Okay, let's go. Trauma?

Uh, abdominal closure on an M. V. C. , and we will wait to see what comes in.

Neuro?

I have a laminectomy.

Just one? You got a golf game?

You know what, people?

I keep saying it.

If you're not innovating, be generating.

Cardio?

Yang is doing a solo thoracic aortic aneurysm, oh, uh, and also, I'll be checking in on my kid with the artificial lung who is waiting for a transplant.

Uh, yeah, can I just say for the record that he's my patient, and I don't agree with this method of treatment?

The fda has not approved an artificial lung on children.

Well, I got emergency approval.

It buys the kid more time, it keeps him from being sedated and ventilated, I think it's worth exploring.

He should be sedated. Let his body heal.

This is just too risky.

It's innovative. Shepherd, this is what I'm talking about.

Let's hope it works.

Good work, Torres.

General, Dr. Bailey?

Uh, yes. An extended whipple.

Speak up.

I'm doing an extended whipple.

Owen.

I got it.

Dr. Bailey, go on.

Um, 47-year-old male, advanced pancreatic cancer with invasion of the portal vein.

Well, what are you using to graft the portal vein?

The ... Um, the jugular.

I'll take that.

Excuse me?

I'll take your whipple.

Send me the chart A. S. A. P.

Okay. Well, I ... neonatal?

A pyloric stenosis.

Actually, two pylorics and ... That's not a reflection on you, Bailey.

She probably wants a surgery to take her mind off of all the Harper Avery fuss.

Now don't take it the wrong way.

I'm not.

Good.

Thank you so much.

Oh, my God!

When?

Last night.

I mean, I kind of thought he would, and then, sure enough.

Are you okay, April?

'Cause I know ... I mean, I knew this was gonna be hard for you, but. .

Oh.

You are going to find someone, April.

And Charles is really into you.

Ugh! I know, I know, but Charles is ... Hi.

Hey, April.

Charles is what?

Nothing.

No, no, no.

I am thrilled. Have you told anyone else?

Besides my parents, no. You're my person.

Oh, God, this is so beautiful.

You guys, you're gonna be, like, the next Shepherds.

Screw that. We're gonna be the next webbers.

Okay, how did he do it? Tell me everything.

Okay, so last night, we went out to dinner, and he ... Good morning.

Are you talking to me?

Jackson ... Don't feed the animals.

Every single one of you can suck my ... Hey! How's everybody doing this morning?

Everybody ready to kick some butt?

Let's run the board, guys. Avery?

Covering the pit.

Noble work. Y-Yang?

Solo thoracic aortic aneurysm.

Huh.

Well, I guess that means, I'm doing Torres' post-ops.

Kepner?

Uh, I'm on Shepherd's service. Good Shepherd.

Oh, hey. I'm on bad Shepherd.

Maybe we're gonna be The Next Shepherds.

No, we aren't.

All right, guys. The day is as good as you make it.

All right, let's get out there and keep Seattle grace the country's best hospital.

Come on!

Yang, smile. Yeesh.

All right. Let's move.

Uh, can I speak with you, Dr. Webber?

Mm.

Mm.

Okay, okay, okay.

I thought we had a rule about this in the hospital.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I just ... my God. You're so hot in that ring.

I do look good, don't I?

Yeah.

Hey, what did your parents think?

I mean, what did your mom say?

Oh, well, she loved it of course.

And she adores you.

Well, finally. It took a while.

Well, you were a jerk before you met me.

She didn't know there was a good guy in there.

But I did.

Oh, I love it.

Yeah.

And I love you.

Have a great day.

Okay, come on, guys and allegra.

Let's go.

Gosh, he's so good with the kids.

How's he doing?

He's better.

Yeah. I think we're past it.

Really?

Yeah.

That's great.

Mm-hmm.

I know. I've just heard it can be ... A hard road, coming back.

I mean, who knows what he went through over there.

Yeah, well ... he doesn't like to talk to me about it.

But he does Skype with some of his old buddies that are still in Iraq, and, um, this guy Teddy seems to be helping him through it.

And he hasn't had another Episode since that one.

So anyway, he's good.

He's good. We're good now.

I don't know how you do it.

And then with the kids, too?

Mm. Well ... You'll find out soon enough, right?

Oh, besides, you and Derek will be fine.

You two are perfect.

All Ellis is saying is that she wants you to use your full potential.

Mm-hmm.

Oh, hi, honey.

Hi.

Like that clinical trial you used to talk about.

I'm about to have a child, Richard.

I don't have time for a clinical trial.

I think you should find it.

I think it'll do you good.

Good morning.

Mm.

A clinical trial ... this elevator is not working.

Oh.

What an ass.

We brought you a cokehead found in an alley.

Presumed overdose. Tried Narcan. No response.

Had to shock her once in the field at 300.

B. P. is 80 over 60.

Sats 96 on 100%.

All right. On my count.

One ... Stop. V-fib. Charge the paddles to 300.

Clear!

There we go.

Ready?

On my count.

One, two ... Three.

Avery, she's all yours.

All right, let's get a tox screen, an E. K. G. , a C. B. C. , a C. M. P. , and an x-ray now.

Right away, doctor.

Well, it's a stroke of luck, actually.

I'm doing a surgery today, and I'm planning to use the new Grey technique.

So rather than a boring press interview, why don't you come on up to the gallery, take a few sh*ts of the technique in action ... And, uh, we'll talk after?

I'll see you in the O.R.

Great. Sounds good.

Thank you.

All right.

Okay, thanks.

That was brilliant.

Why settle for another boring press release, right?

So can I scrub in?

I would love to see the procedure done firsthand.

Why? Your focus is cardio.

You're not gonna get a cardio fellowship scrubbing in on your mother's whipple.

That's true.

Cristina Yang is doing a solo aortic aneurysm today.

I ... that came in last night, and had I been here ... yeah, but you weren't because you were too busy getting engaged.

So now that that's over, what do you want to do?

Do you want to do an aortic aneurysm?

Yes.

Do you want me to ask Dr. Torres to give it to you?

No, mother. I can get it myself.

There you go.

Dr. Bailey.

I am stoked for our whipple today.

Are you stoked?

We, uh ... No, we're not ... You gotta speak up.

We're not doing a whipple today.

I had it taken from me.

Mandy. No.

Please don't call me Mandy.

We talked about this.

You can't let people walk all over you.

You gotta stand up for yourself.

Not if it's Ellis Grey, I don't.

Ellis is operating?

Come on.

The next best thing to operating is watching Ellis Grey do it.

We gotta get in on that surgery, Mandy.

Remember what we say?

I don't remember what we say.

We create ... Oh, we create our own destiny.

Our own destiny. That's right. Come on.

Chop, chop.

Hi there.

Oh, God.

Ugh. What now?

Well, you O. D. 'ed, your heart stopped, but you're stable.

Can I get a name, please?

Oh, so you can call the cops?

Nah, I just need anything really, so we don't mix up your pee with somebody else's.

You have my pee?

Yeah. You were kinda giving it away for a while there.

Spectacular.

Name?

Lucille.

Okay.

Ball.

You're a funny lady.

Well, that's how I make my living.

All right, Ms. Ball.

We are gonna get you worked up and send you on your way.

Hey, where am I?

Uh, Seattle grace hospital.

Oh, God.

Aah!

Don't push.

Aah!

Theresa, don't push.

Aah!

Kepner, what's happening?

She's dilated and effaced. The baby started crowning and then just stopped.

Okay, move.

Aah!

Theresa, you're doing great.

Aah!

Oh.

Ohh!

Okay, Kepner, order up a 3-D ultrasound, stat, and prep an O.R. For a crash C-section.

And page my husband.

Right away.

What happened?

He detached the connector to the artificial lung, and I had to clamp off the cannula to stop the bleeding.

I told you this was a bad idea.

All right. Let's book an O.R. Let's get it hooked back up.

No, it's too dangerous. He has to go back on ECMO.

I-it's not working, so he's worse?

Hold on. Everybody, stop.

Look at his sats.

93? He's never been above 79.

His respiratory rate's good

Riley, I-is it hard for you to breathe at all?

No, I can breathe.

Okay, hold on.

You blow in this, okay?

Oh.

Wow.

What's happening?

He's breathing better than he should be.

He's breathing better than he ever has.

So he can use it until he gets the transplant?

We need to run more tests, but ... From the sound of his lungs, it's possible he may not even need a transplant.

Are you serious?

Well, you know, we have to ... Are you serious? !

We have to see the tests, but ... Oh, thank you! Oh!

I love you! I love you!

I think I do, too.

Oh.

Okay.

Wait. What?

But why? Why can't you do the surgery?

Uh, the chief of surgery, Ellis Grey, will be doing the ... it.

Uh, I mean, I can.

I would. She just ... There's protocols, and she ... Think of it as a huge upgrade.

You just got handed the keys to a Jaguar and you've been driving, like, a civic.

A good car. A solid, dependable car.

But Dr. Grey ... hello, Alex.

Mr. Taylor, Mrs. Taylor, I'm Dr. Grey.

I'll be doing your pancreaticoduodenectomy today.

I'll graft with a section of your internal ILIAC vein ... a new technique of my invention.

By forgoing the use of the jugular, you'll have no visible scaring on the neck.

Oh, well, that's nice ... I'll gladly have you sign these consent forms.

It's a pleasure to meet you. I'll see you after we're done.

Jaguar.

Doc ... Dr. Grey.

Any chance I could scrub in with you?

Alex, of course. Love to have you.

See?

You have to speak up for yourself.

C-can you explain anything that woman just said?

You know, I-I, uh, excuse me.

Uh ... Here you go, sir.

Your heart stopped again.

Because of all the cocaine you've enjoyed, you're going to need a surgical implant ... an A. I. C. D. pacemaker.

If you have any questions about this procedure, here's an informative brochure.

She's a ray of sunshine.

She is.

I'm gonna go out on a limb and assume that you don't have any insurance.

So is there somebody maybe I can call ... parents, somebody?

No. Parents are dead.

I'm sorry to hear that.

Is it from disease, family history?

My mother d*ed of a stomach thing.

My father k*lled himself.

I am really sorry.

What's ... what's funny?

I do have a sister. She's a half sister.

Okay.

Nearby?

Very.

She's a doctor ... At this hospital.

What, are you kidding?

Oh.

Who? Who? Who is she?

Hey, we've never met. She doesn't know me.

And trust me, she doesn't want to.

You paged?

Yeah, have a look at her ultrasound.

That is a massive tumor.

What?

Percy, shut up.

It's pressing up against the neck.

Is the airway secured?

I did an exit and trached her.

It's as secure as it can be for now.

Why can't I see my baby? What's wrong?

Theresa, your baby has a tumor.

But Dr. Shepherd's here. He's gonna take good care of her.

The Shepherds are the best you and your baby could hope for, okay?

They are an amazing team.

All right.

Wait.

What's wrong with her?

What took you so long?

I wasn't standing around, Derek.

I had to make sure that the mother wouldn't bleed out.

If we wait any longer, she won't even be a mother.

It's pressing against the trachea.

I need to make sure the airway's secure.

The bleeders can't wait.

You have to work on the neck as I operate.

It's gonna take us all day.

I'm sorry. I know you weren't planning on spending the day with your wife.

I'll see you in there.

It's a beautiful day to save lives.

Nice.

Oh, hey, darlin'.

Hey.

What's up?

I have to steal a surgery from Cristina Yang.

Well ... Yang's always stealing surgeries.

That girl gives me the creeps.

I know. It's just ... Mom's operating today, and I thought it would be nice to go in and see it, but she doesn't want me in there, so ... Remember when you were learning how to ride a bike and you ran into the back of the Richmonds' station wagon?

Vividly.

What happened after that?

I sat on the curb and cried and bled all over you.

Well, after that?

You made me get back on my bike.

No.

Your mother made you get back on, and you learned to ride a bike.

She just wants you to succeed.

I know.

I'm doing a proctocolectomy right now.

You want in?

Single incision?

I probably shouldn't.

Yeah. Probably not.

How many aortic aneurysms has she actually done?

Two ... in the hospital.

She's probably done more at home on cats.

Hey, does she eat with anyone, ever?

Mnh-mnh.

No.

That's what happens to you when you screw an attending.

You're a pariah.

Unlike your approach of just never having sex with anybody?

No virgin jokes.

Thank you.

Her and Preston Burke?

Really?

And apparently, it was so scary for him, he actually had to leave the state.

I always say, never mess with the crazy chicks.

She's probably gonna go full-on Izzie one day and sh**t up the hospital.

What's Izzie?

Oh, it means "crazy."

She was a girl in our class who was sleeping with a patient.

Mm.

And then she stole a transplant heart for him.

What?

Until Meredith turned her into her mom and got her fired.

Oh, my God, Mer. You're so brave.

Hold on a second.

How many people washed out your year?

Uh, two.

Uh, her and O'Malley.

007.

He, uh, failed his intern exam and was never seen again.

Okay.

Here I go.

Where are you going?

To get back on my bicycle.

Oh!

Dr. Grey is gonna graft an ILIAC vein to the portal vein, but that man's got bilateral deep vein thrombosis in his femorals, and the ILIACs won't be usable.

I mean, she's gonna look first, right?

Who's that woman with Dr. Robbins?

I don't know. Some ortho surgeon.

Oh.

I should've gone into ortho. I liked ortho.

Why didn't you?

Well, when Ellis Grey says you're good for cardio ... Excuse me, Dr. Torres.

Hmm?

I was wondering if I could do the aortic aneurysm today.

This will be Yang's third, and I've only done one.

So it's only fair ... Webber, I know how many you've done.

And I know what my residents need, okay?

My mother suggested that I ask you.

Why don't you split it?

You and Yang can, uh, do it together.

Thank you.

Whatever Ellis Grey wants.

You know it.

Yang's not gonna like it.

Well, it's better than kicking her off the case.

Mm.

Bitch scares me.

Lucy.

You got some's plaining to do.

I'm gonna, uh, I'm just gonna go.

No, you're not, because if you don't get this procedure, you're going to die.

Look, I get it. I know.

It is scary.

But I can tell you everything that's gonna happen.

Yeah, I already read the brochure.

Okay.

The a*t*matic implanted cardioverter defibrillator is ... is placed beneath the skin below the collarbone.

The electrode wires th ... Wow.

Yeah, I have a photographic memory.

Yeah. Okay.

Well, you should go to med school.

Right. Or I could be a ballerina.

I'm serious.

Okay? You should see all of this as a second chance.

People turn things around all the time.

You're smart.

You're sharp. You're beautiful.

You got a sister here you've never even met.

You could have a whole new family.

Let's start by fixing your heart, okay?

Oh, okay.

Oh. All right.

It's gonna be okay.

What the hell is Meredith Webber doing on my aortic aneurysm?

Uh ... Listen, if you tell Meredith or Ellis or anyone ... That surgery is mine.

You can't just throw your girlfriend on it.

I swear, Yang.

I will fix it so you never see the inside of an O.R. again.

I will bury you.

I'm not sharing my surgery.

Change the board and get her off.

Look, I didn't change the board. Torres did.

Where's Torres then?

C.S.F. is leaking.

Let's get some suction in here, Percy.

I need you to have lunch with the president of the board of the Bryson school tomorrow.

Why are you talking about this now?

Because, Derek, you're never home.

You're always spending the night in that stupid trailer on that stupid piece of land planning that stupid house that you're never gonna build.

Pulse ox is dropping. What did you do?

I didn't do anything. It's invading the tracheal wall.

Clamp.

Secure the airway. We're losing her.

I'm working as hard as I can, Derek.

You just pay attention to what you're doing.

Uh, do me a favor.

I'm going into surgery.

Yeah, just ... tell Dr. Grey that the patient has a history of D. V. T.

And that the ILIAC veins may not be suitable for grafting.

Whoa, whoa. Wait. Wait. What?

Why didn't you say something?

J-just ... you're going in there. Just tell her.

You tell her. He's your patient.

I'm not gonna tell her she's wrong.

I mean, she ... she took the chart. She read it.

Right?

Yes. She knows what she's doing.

Well, just tell her.

Yang, wait.

When in the hell are you gonna give Lucille Ball her A. I. C. D. ?

You have to do it. I've got surgery.

I don't think so. You did the consult.

Where's your wife?

What?

She was supposed to place a pacemaker in our O. D. girl hours ago ... Hey.

And now she's trying to pawn it off on me.

Hey.

I have a surgery.

You're the cardio consult. You do it.

Avery can do it.

I can't spare Avery.

I'm not giving up this surgery to stick a pacemaker in a junkie.

Tell your wife to have Meredith Webber ... Yang, just back off!

I'm sorry. I just ... I just got really ... Well, you won't need stitches ... This time.

I thought it was supposed to be getting better.

Or are you gonna hit another intern?

No.

Why do you keep helping me?

Why don't you just report me?

Because I'm a doctor.

Please don't tell my wife.

Well, you can finish the rest of this.

I have surgery.

Suction here.

So June sounds good. Have you thought about where?

Oh, M-Meredith and I thought about, uh, Hawaii. That might be cool.

You know, have everyone come out and ... Really, a destination wedding?

Alex, I'm running a hospital.

I can't just dash off to ... retract that, please. Clamp.

You'll do it here. I'll book the rainier club.

It's gorgeous.

That sounds great.

What the hell am I looking at?

The ILIAC veins are completely thrombosed, both of them.

Unusable. Completely unusable.

Did you know about this?

Uh, no.

Okay. Change of plans.

We'll use the renal vein.

Damn it.

Someone page Dr. Bailey, please.

I want her in here now.

Why aren't you doing a TEVAR?

I'm doing a direct approach. It's cooler.

A TEVAR is safer. It's far less invasive.

You go in through the femoral, you don't have to cr*ck the chest.

I already ordered the graft.

You two might have worked out your surgical plan before this.

I did, and my surgical plan didn't include this nimrod.

No, it just included hacking up the patient like a psychopath.

Girls, don't make me come over there and do it myself.

Shut up and work.

10-blade.

Avery.

Where have you been?

I'm, um, booking an O.R.

I'm gonna take my ... that girl up for her pacemaker.

Why?

Somebody made off with an armload of dr*gs from the dispensary ... codeine, morphine, demerol.

Okay, why ... 'cause the dispensary was accessed with your I. D. Card.

That's why.

Oh, damn it.

But you knew the patient had thrombosis?

I ... I had ... I did.

Speak up.

In the legs ... yes.

Um, did you look at his chart?

Of course I looked at his chart.

But there was no indication that the thrombosis was this bad.

Why wasn't it in his chart?

Because I had chosen to use the jugular.

They were in the medical records.

And you didn't tell me because I'd opted to not cut the man's throat?

Well, that's ... It's a good plan ... but I ended up cutting his throat anyway.

My procedure's a wash, and the patient's been under far longer than is optimal.

That's why I picked the jugular.

Is that right ... Dr. Bailey?

Is that why you picked it?

Alex, where's my graft?

Here's the graft.

I'm just suturing.

Whoa.

Oh, my God.

I might have nicked the carotid.

You people are trying to k*ll me.

Did you get the whole tumor?

I told you.

I'm not asking for myself.

I'm asking what I should tell the mother ... just go. I will talk to her myself.

So we'll talk about the preschool ... it's gonna be late.

I'm gonna stay and look into this clinical trial.

That's great.

One more reason for you to stay out of the house.

That's fine.

It's fine. Maybe you'll be more interested once the baby comes.

Right.

Everything's gonna be different when the baby comes.

Well, a girl can hope.

Nothing's gonna change.

What do you think is gonna change?

Do you even want a baby?

I didn't say that.

I'm not ta ... Yes, I want a baby.

No, I'm not talking about a baby. This baby, with me.

Do you love me?

Do you?

Of course I love you.

Can you say it without looking at the floor?

Less than three minutes of circulatory arrest left.

You go over that, and the organs start dying.

If Webber hadn't taken so long ... I took the time it needed.

Two minutes.

Done. Go back on bypass.

Yes, doctor.

Oh, got a leak.

Okay, I'll find it. I'll throw a stitch.

No, it's too risky. The leak is behind the heart.

You need to do an internal graft.

Will you shut up? I will find it.

Dr. Torres?

Webber's right, Yang.

Her way is safer. Let her do it.

5-0 Prolene.

Move your hands.

Move your hands, please.

Oh ... what are you doing? Move your hands.

I got it. I found the leak.

Uh, give me a clamp.

2-0 Prolene. I got it.

Have you seen my wife?

As a matter of fact, I have.

She just threatened to quit.

Do me a favor.

Wash your laundry at home, not in my O.R.

Well, oh, there's two sides to every story ... Yeah, I'm not interested in your side.

Derek, Richard and I had very high hopes for you, but you have been nothing but a disappointment.

You don't publish, you don't teach, your attitude is terrible.

The residents have a nickname for you, and it is not flattering.

What do they call me?

Get it together, because if it comes down to a choice between you and her, you need to be very clear which one of you I will choose.

Trust me, you two don't want to be the next Shepherds.

So I start to do the repair ... And she just stuck her hand in?

Yes!

Wait. What happened?

Yang's a freakin' maniac.

She's dangerous.

My patient's fine.

Awake, great vitals, if you were interested.

Well, that's great, 'cause o. D. Girl bolted.

You had no business shoving in there.

You had no business in that O.R.

I wasn't about to let that guy die watching you Jack around with the internal graft.

That was the right technique.

Dr. Torres specifically ... Dr. Torres only sided with you because you're the chief's little girl.

She's a pathetic lackey.

Well, we'd all be working under Dr. Preston Burke right now, but you screwed us out of that opportunity, literally.

What exactly did you do to him?

Because he left the state to get away from you.

Good one.

If you want to get personal, why don't you ask prince charming what he and the virgin Mary like to do in his office?

What?

What are you talking about?

What ... She's a lunatic.

What ... what ... what is she talking about?

You can't believe a word she says.

She's just ... come on!

April?

I'm ... I'm sorry. I'm s ... I'm sorry. I ... Oh, God.

Oh, just sh**t me now.

Oh, God.

Tests are good. Sats are great.

He's breathing unassisted.

He's gonna be home by the end of the week.

And he's been taken off the transplant list?

Yep, yep. Two weeks on your little thing, and his lungs are actually improved.

Well, good work.

Oh, amazing work.

And I didn't even want to do it.

It was amazing.

You're amazing.

Well, um, we should, uh, celebrate y ... sometime.

Yeah, we should. We should go get drinks.

I mean, this is ... This is one to celebrate.

Dr. Torres, here are your kids.

Yeah.

Mommy.

Ah!

Oh, hi, baby girl. Hi.

Okay.

Well ... sometime.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, sometime.

All right. Here we go.

Slow down ... And tell me.

I can't.

I mean, I can't believe them.

I cannot believe them!

I heard what happened.

You did?

Yes.

And you should be upset.

You should be humiliated.

Ellis ... You don't let Yang, you don't let anyone show you up in your O.R.

Understand? Ever.

I shouldn't have been in there.

I wasn't prepared.

Then why in the world did you go in?

Because you pushed me.

And you aren't mad because I embarrassed myself.

You're mad because I embarrassed you.

Ellis, what in the hell is wrong with y ... I want you to fire Mandy Bailey.

Tonight, Richard. I want you to do it tonight.

What are you talking about?

What is this about?

She made a complete fool of me.

I had no idea, no idea at all.

I looked like ... like a total failure.

Okay, look ... now look, just hold on.

Now ... now just ... Just breathe.

I was humiliated.

Okay.

In front of all those people.

I was just trying to fix her stupid mistake.

I know.

I looked ... I looked like a fraud ... But you ... you know you're not.

You know that.

Like an idiot.

There was nothing to graft.

Okay, look, okay, but you ... you made it work.

You always do. The patient is fine.

Look, you can't control everything.

I know you want to.

But you can't, okay?

Is Meredith all right?

I don't know how to talk to her, Richard.

Will you talk to her?

Yeah, I will, I will. She'll be all right.

I am horrible at it.

I am terrible.

Oh, I just want her to do well.

I just want her to do the best she can ... I-I know. I know you do. And she'll be okay, okay?

I promise. Okay?

Thank you.

Oh.

Okay.

Okay.

Yang. Hey.

Um ... Thanks ... For today.

Tell your wife and get some help.

She'll leave, and I'll lose my kids.

She ... She's ... She's afraid I'm gonna hurt one of them.

Aren't you?

Hey.

Hey.

Hey. How are ya?

Okay.

Oh, my gosh. What happened to your hand?

Oh, oh, I, uh ... I, uh, some junkie patient knocked me into a tray of instruments, so ... Oh, you poor baby. All right. Let's get you home, and I'll take a look at it, okay?

Okay.

Oh, okay. Mwah. Okay.

Okay, let's go. Come on, allegra.

Come on. Let's go.

All right.

I need help.

She was just lying in the street.

I almost ran her over.

Okay, we've got this.

Pulse is V-tach. Where's the crash cart?

Charge to 360.

Sir, step back.

It's all right. I'm a doctor.

Yeah, we're all doctors, all right? Now move.

Clear.

Charge to 300. Clear.

Sinus tach. We got her.

Okay.

You know where I can find Dr. Shepherd?

Which one?

Meredith.

No, dad.

Don't come and clean up after her again.

You do it every time.

And it's beneath you, and it's pointless.

I can't do anything right for her.

Your mother doesn't want ... And I finally figured out why.

She wants everyone around her to be ordinary so she can be extraordinary.

She wants everyone around her small.

Oh, you stop it.

And that's what she's done to you.

She has made you small.

And I'm not gonna let her do it to me.

I don't, uh ... I d ... I don't know what's wrong with me.

All I know is that the baby is coming and I want it.

You know, it ... It may change things.

You'll get happier.

We'll just take it one step at a time.

I want to make it work.

It isn't your baby.

It's stupid, I know, but it's a brand-new shirt and now it's got junkie blood all over it.

Oh.

This is awkward.

Clear.

I've got a rhythm.

Barely, but ... Damn it. It's gone.

If you had just done the damn surgery ... Asystole. Uh, give her

1 amp of atropine.

I already did it, okay? It's not helping.

Another, and an amp of EPI.

Do it.

Go!

Move. Let's cr*ck her chest.

Gown.

What?

N-no. It's not indicated. She O. D. 'ed.

Okay, so she's gonna die anyway.

What has she got to lose? Chest tray.

Here you go.

Right here.

Okay, let's do it. Betadine.

10-blade.

On it.

Okay.

Are you crying?

I screwed up.

I ... I had a good thing.

She was a good person, but ... I had a chance to be better.

And I screwed it up like I do every frickin' time.

What the hell is wrong with me?

I just lost my job.

Do you see me crying?

I have no earthly idea what to do next, but am I hiding in an elevator, whimpering about it?

No.

No.

Because what do we say, Alex?

What do we say?

We create ... Our own destiny.

Uh-huh.

And that's exactly what I'm gonna do.

You should, too.

Guys, you lost her.

Shut up!

One more AMP of EPI. Charge to 20.

Charging.

Charged.

Clear.

Charge to 30.

Ready?

Go.

Clear.

Sinus tach.

Wait. Wait.

Your life is a gift.

Accept it.

She's back.

Okay, we got her. We got her.

No matter how screwed up or painful it seems to be.

Okay.

Okay, now what do I do?

Okay, lick it, slam it, and then lime.

Okay.

Fast, fast, fast, fast.

Ugh!

Yeah.

Ah. Okay. That's good.

What?

We don't have to do that thing where I say something and then you say something and then someone cries and there's a moment or whatever?

Oh, yuck.

Good.

It's just that ... Nothing is turning out the way I thought it would.

It's like I don't even recognize my own life.

I know what you mean.

Some things are going to work out as if they were destined to happen ... Ugh. I gotta go get some sleep.

You gotta get some sleep.

You look like crap.

I look better than you.

Not possible.

Your mother says the residents have a name for me.

I wouldn't know anything about that.

What is it?

What do they call me?

Psst. Come on.

McDreary.

We call you McDreary.

Mm.

You think that's funny?

It's apt.

McDreary.

Yeah, that's my life.

So how about tonight, you're not McDreary?

You're just ... You're just a guy in a bar.

And you're just a girl in a bar?

I am.

And I drink Tequila.

Tom.

Here you go.

Cheers.

As if they were just meant to be.