01x25 - Working It Out

[bunniefuu]

[instrumental music]

Hey, beautiful.

I love a woman with good
reflexes. Makes me crazy.

Get out.

Your mouth is saying "Get
out"

but your eyes are saying
"Get busy."

- Daddy.
- Uh-uh-uh.

That's not gonna work
this time, Hil darling.

See, Uncle Phil went
to the supermarket

so he's gonna be gone
for at least a week.

Mom.

[laughs]

She went with him.

- Geoffrey.
- Ooh.

- Yes, Miss Hilary?
- You know the drill.

(both)
Uh-oh.

[screams]

Hilary,
why is it so hard for you

to be nice to Jazz,
you know he likes you.

Oh, and I'm supposed to be nice
to everyone who likes me?

How much time
do you think I have?

Oh, so that's the reason
for you to be mean to Jazz?

Look, Jazz will be fine.

Oh, you think so?
Well, I don't.

See, you don't know Jazz
the way that I know him.

He's a very sensitive
person.

And he has feelings
that are very deep.

And when you had
Geoffrey throw him out

I think that was the last straw.

I don't think
he'll ever be the same.

Really?

Want to kiss my boo-boo?

[theme song]

♪ Now this is a story
all about ♪

♪ How my life got flipped
turned upside down ♪

♪ And I'd like to take a minute
just sit right there ♪

♪ I'll tell you how
I became the prince ♪

♪ Of a town called Bel-Air ♪

[instrumental music]

♪ In West Philadelphia
born and raised ♪

♪ On the playground is where
I spent most of my days ♪

♪ Chillin' out maxin'
relaxin' all cool ♪

♪ And all sh**t' some b-ball
outside of the school ♪

♪ When a couple of guys
who were up to no good ♪

♪ Started makin' trouble
in my neighborhood ♪

♪ I got in one little fight
and my mom got scared and said ♪

♪ You're movin' with your auntie
and uncle in Bel-Air ♪

♪ I whistled for a cab
and when it came near ♪

♪ The license plate said Fresh
and it had dice in the mirror ♪

♪ If anything I can say
that this cab was rare ♪

♪ But I thought nah forget it
yo homes to Bel-Air ♪

♪ I pulled up to a house
about seven or eight ♪

♪ And I yelled to the cabbie
yo homes smell you later ♪

♪ I looked at my kingdom
I was finally there ♪

♪ To sit on my throne
as the Prince of Bel-Air ♪♪

[music continues]

I hope you didn't take
my throwing you

out of the house personally,
Mr. Jazz.

It was strictly business.

That's cool, but if you grab me
in that place again

we're engaged.

Hey, look, Jazz, if you
wanna
get with Hilary, man

you gotta have a plan.

You mean
mine hasn't been working?

Jazz, that's like
the 18th time

she threw you out of the house.

All a part of my plan.

- 'We're home.'
- Later.

Geoffrey, the groceries you want
are in the kitchen.

(Geoffrey)
Yes, madam.

Well, Carlton has sunk
to a new low.

What?

Carlton, what's up
with the crutches, man?

I'm practicing my new scam.

Girls love a guy
with a sports injury.

Carlton, I can't see too many
honeys bein' impressed by

"Hey, babe, I busted myself up
playing Pee Wee football."

Mom, dad, I'm so glad
you're home.

I have some exciting news
about my job.

What is it?

Well, I'm not gonna just tell
you, that's no fun. Guess.

Did you sell a painting
at the gallery?

-No.
- Did you get a promotion?

- No.
- Did you get fired?

No, I quit.

- 'What?'
- What?

Hily, I was definitely
the closest.

Hilary, you were doing so well
at the art gallery.

Yeah, but, mom,
it's not really a cool job.

I mean, when I was a little
girl, I always had this dream

that when I grew up,
I'd have a glamorous job

in a glamorous office
and I would go to parties

and people would ask me
what I did and I'd tell them.

And then I imagined them
turning pea-green with envy

and blurting out,
"You are so lucky"

and then walking away absolutely
eaten up inside

because I had a fabulous job
and they didn't.

They say Gandhi had
a very similar childhood dream.

Alright, young lady,
just how do you propose

to get this glamorous job?

Oh, I already got it.

Starting tomorrow, I'm going
to be the personal assistant

to Marissa Redman.

- The movie star?
- Wow, she's really big.

What you talkin' about, Carlton?

She ain't do nothin' good
in years.

That's not true.

She's one of the most famous
actresses in Hollywood.

- She won an Oscar.
- Nominated.

And she was in one of the
top
ten movies of all time.

Eight years ago.

Andshe needs a new
assistant
because she just got back

from a well-deserved year off.

Nosejob.

How did you know all of
that?

I have an inquiring mind.

Will, please, Hilary's obviously
very excited about this job.

Be a little more supportive.

Oh, you're right, I'm sorry.

Well, Hilary, I loved her
in that musical she did.

- God, what a voice.
- Lip-synch.

Dinner is served.

Psst!

- Jazz, I thought you left.
- Why?

'Cause you walked out the door
and you said, "Later."

All a part of my plan.

Well, did you hear the news
about Hilary?

Yeah, I'm so proud of her.

Alright, J, tomorrow's
her first day at work.

Now, I think I got a little plan
that'll make Hilary like you.

Tomorrow we'll go down there
and you're gonna surprise
her

with flowers and candy.

Cool, meet you here
tomorrow at 9 o'clock sharp.

You got it, man.

And don't forget
the candy and flowers.

Miss Tony Fisher, please.

Hi, Tony, it's Hil.

How's your job going?

Uh-huh.

Guess where I'm calling from.

No, guess.

No, guess again.

No, guess again.

What do you mean, you give up?
This is fun.

No, guess again.

No, guess again.

No, don't hang up, Tony.

No, Tony, do not hang up now.

Come on, guess.

No, guess again.

No, guess again.

Okay, okay, okay.

I'm in Marissa Redman's office.

No, it's my first day.

Oh! What's she like? God.

Tony, I've gotta tell you,
you'd never even know

she was a movie star, I mean

she's so grounded,
she's so real.

Look, I don't care if you have
other appointments, clown.

My cat needs acupuncture.

Marissa.

- Heather.
- Hilary.

Look, let's get
one thing straight.

My last assistant quit on me

because I never learned
her name.

Now, is that gonna be a problem?

- No, no.
- Good.

I'm so excited! I want to learn
all about the movie business.

And you will.
The key is to be positive.

I like positive people.

- Are you positive?
- Oh, yes! Yes, yes, yes. Yes!

Remember, this is a process.

You do realize it's a
process?

Oh, yes, I'm positive
it's a process.

[phone rings]

- Oh, I'll get that.
- You got that right.

Miss Redman's office.

Oh, I'm afraid Miss Redman's
on the other line right now

Mr.Haskell,but I'll see
if she's finishing up.

- It's my agent.
- Hello, Sam.

This better be good news.

So you're saying
I didn't get the part?

I know the part called
for a Meryl Streep type.

And, yes, I am a Meryl Streep
type if I wanna be.

It's called acting, Sam.

So what fool got the part?

Meryl Streep.

Ain't that cozy?

[exhales]

I'm sorry you didn't get
the part, Marissa.

But let's be positive.

After all, this is a process.

[chuckles]

Oh, shut up.

Now, look, I have to go
to a restaurant opening tonight.

So I need you to pick up my
clothes from the cleaners.

Oh, I'm not speaking
to my tired boyfriend

so I'll need someone to go with.

I wonder if that cute
little Johnny Gill is free.

- Isn't he, like, my age?
- Oh, I see. I get it.

First, I'm too black
to play Meryl Streep's parts

and now I'm too old
to date a 20-year-old.

- Cher can do it, but I can't?
- No, Marissa.

I didn't mean anything
like that--

Everyone is trying to fit me
into their nice

neat little box, aren't they?

Well, you're walking
a fine line, Helena.

A very fine line.

Hello, I'm calling
from Marissa Redman's office.

Yeah, is her dry-cleaning ready?

'Well, it says here
on the ticket'

"Three dresses, two blouses,
four silk brassieres

and eight pair of
underwear."

Fantastic. I'll be right
over
to pick them up.

Glamor, glamor, glamor.

You know, Hilary,
while you're down there

you may even get to see
Dustin Hoffman's drawers.

Will, what are you doing
here?

Jazz.

Congratulations
on your new job, Hilary.

Flowers..

...a Kit Kat.

And a song.

[instrumental music]

All the way
from Compton, California

the king of the keyboard
himself, just for you, Hilary.

It's Jazz!

[music continues]

He plays so beautiful,
don't you agree?

- What is going on here?
- Marissa, I can explain.

(Marissa)
'I don't even wanna hear it.'

So I've got a party girl
on my hands, is that it?

As soon as I turn my back.

You know, we've got
a word for people

like you in this business
and it's called..

Hello.

Uh, Miss Redman, uh

we didn't mean
to get Hilary in any trouble.

- I'm her cousin.
- Oh, she's not in any trouble.

I'm sorry, I didn't
catch your name.

- Uh, Will Smith.
- "Will Smith."

Little Willie Smith.

I like that.

Yeah, uh, but, little Willie's
gotta go now.

We'll just get
right out of your way.

Oh, no, no, no,
you're not in my way.

Well, you kind of are.

Why don't you
stay for a little while?

Uh, you-you know, we'd love to,
but we-we made other plans.

No, we didn't.

Don't you remember, Jazz

you've got that
brain-surgery appointment?

- Must have forgotten.
- Bye-bye.

You know, I just had a thought.

I'm sure it's brilliant,
what is it?

I just thought that I'd like
to take your cousin Will

to that restaurant opening
tonight.

What?

Are you thinking
I'm too old for him?

You think he wouldn't
wanna go out with me?

Oh, no, no, Marissa, I mean, who
wouldn't wanna go out with you?

Oh, you better hope he does.

Because if he doesn't wanna
go out with me tonight

you're fired, Hester.

[instrumental music]

Uh.

[inhales heavily]

Mm-mm.

I forfeit the game.

Hey, thanks a lot, G,
he was about to take me.

Hi, Will.

Oh, look, who's home,
it's Miss Hollywood.

Tell me all about
yourfaboo day.

So what'd you do
this afternoon?

Massage her feet,
give her cat a perm?

[laughs]
Oh, Will, I love
your irreverent sense of humor.

It's so refreshing.

How you tryin' to play me,
Hilary?

Oh, Will, you're always
thinking the worst of me.

I have got
some great news for you.

Guess who I can get
to go out with you.

- Wha.. What, Janet Jackson?
- Guess again.

- Um, uh-uh, Jody Watley.
- Guess again.

Tell me or I'll k*ll you.

Marissa Redman.

You've got to be tripping.

H-Hilary, I wouldn't go out with
her if she and Marsha Warfield

were the last two women
on Earth.

Will, please, please.

Marissa said that
if I can't get you to go out

on a date with her,
she'll just fire me.

Uh-uh, perfect,
all she does is yell at you

and boss you around,
treat you like dirt, anyway.

I know but..

...I'm the envy
of all my friends.

[crying]

Look, Hilary,
come on, don't cry.

Don't-don't cry, Hi..

Okay, alright, alright,
okay.

I guess it won'tkill me
to go out with Marissa
Redman.

Oh, Will, thank you,
thank you, thank you.

And I guess it won't k*ll
you
to go out with Jazz.

[crying]

[instrumental music]

[instrumental music]

I can't believe you agreed
to go on this date with Jazz.

Shut up, Carlton,
I had to, or I'd lose my job.

Touchy, touchy.

[humming "The Wedding March"]

Cut it out!

I can see it now.

Mr. and Mrs. Jazz..

- Does Jazz have a last name?
- I believe it's Matazz.

[laughing]

Will you three cut it out?

Philip, we don't mean
anything by it.

I don't see the destruction
of our gene pool

as something to joke about.

[doorbell rings]

- Oh, that must be Jazz.
- Good.

Now, Marissa's meeting us
at the restaurant.

We can't even be a second late.

Hey, hey, just relax, Hilary.

And you just make sure that
you're sweet to Jazz.

This is makin' his whole week.

- Mr. Jazz.
- Yo, G.

As of tonight, my new
official name is...Mr.
Lucky.

[instrumental music]

Marissa, thanks for inviting us.

This is such an exciting
new restaurant.

Look at that.

Butter on ice.

I'm livin' large now.

Um, speakin' of ice, Jazz, uh

doesn't Hilary
look a little chilly?

Oh, right.

You look so beautiful, baby.

Jazz, please.

Now, I know you can be
nicer than that.

Alright, alright.

That was a wonderful
imitation
of a creepy spider

you just did, Jazz.

Hey, Cher!

Sophomore in high school.

b*at that, honey.

Do you know what time
it is, Hilary?

It's 8:15.

No, it's not.

It's "Slow dancing
with Jazz" time.

No, it isn't.

Oh, well, you know, it's either
"Slow dancing with Jazz" time

or "Will getting up,
going home, and leaving you

without a job" time.

Jazz, do you wanna dance?

Man, this must be my birthday.

Uh, and when you get back,
bring me a mineral water

three ice cubes,
a lemon, and a lime.

And for the sake of novelty,
get it right this time.

Yes, Marissa.

So, little Willie

uh, would you pass me
the salt, please?

Oh, sure.

[screams]

Um, Jazz, I feel
I should tell you something.

I'm only on this date with you
as part of my deal with Will.

- I know.
- You do?

It doesn't bother me.

But, hey, if it's
making you feel sad

dancing with me,
you don't have to.

- Oh, no, Jazz, it's not that.
- Thank God.

It's just this job
is getting to me.

I mean, I don't mind
the hard work.

It's just I can't seem
to do anything right.

She's always yelling at me.

Uh, tell Jazz all about it.

Oh, look,
biggest director in town.

Sydney!
Sydney! Congratulations.

Loved your new movie.

We've got to do..

What? He just looked
right through me.

Maybe you should have
spoken up a little bit.

This is not good.

Hickory! Hey, Hickory!

Yes.

I just saw Sydney,
and he cut me dead.

Now did you send him that bottle
of champagne like I told you

for the premiere
of hiscrappymovie?

All you said to me this morning
is that you were thinking

of sending him something
but didn't know what.

Champagne wouldobviously
be the perfect choice, Einstein.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, Marissa,
chill. Come on, she's
trying.

Look, I work so hard.

I mean, I work harder
than anybody

and I'm very underpaid.

And it doesnothelp when
the person who is supposed

to be my assistant
is atotalidiot.

You're the idiot.

Well, date's over.

Look, I don't care
how many movies you make.

Nobody don't talk
like that to Hilary.

She's smart, she's sweet

and she's the most beautiful
woman in the cosmos.

And she's been very nice
to me tonight.

And she's been nice to you, even
though you didn't deserve it.

So you just tell her
you're sorry

'cause I'm about
to get pretty damn mad.

Oh, shut up.

Look, this is what you gotta do.

I need run to an all-night
liquor store--

- No.
- Excuse me?

What do you think I am?

I shouldn't be treated
like an idiot.

I'm not an idiot, I'm smart.

And another thing,
your lastfivemovies

really sucked big time.

Six.

You can't stand here
talking like that tome.

No, you're right, because I have
a prior engagement

with someone from the "A" list.

Come on, Jazz, let's go.

(Jazz)
Thank you, oh, Lord.

Uh.

Uh.

Who needs them?

You know, they don't know
how to appreciate you.

I mean, uh, I think
me and you can have

a better time without them.

- Really?
- Psych.

[instrumental music]

You really said that to Marissa?

(Hilary)
Uh-huh.

Hey, well, at least now
Marissa the cradle crook

knows what Hilary
thinks about her.

And I owe it all to Jazz.

Well, thank you, Jazz.

Now my daughter's unemployed.

[sighs]
Daddy, you should thank Jazz.

And he reminded me that
I do have some self-respect.

Why do I have to chase
after celebrities?

They're all so shallow
and self-centered.

From now on, I wanna spend time
with people who have depth

intelligence, and maturity.

I don't like the sound of this.

- Goodnight, sweetheart.
- Goodnight, mommy.

- Goodnight, guys.
- Goodnight.

- 'Goodnight.'
- Goodnight, baby.

[sighs]

Guys, I'm sorry
the night was so awful.

Hey, well, Hilary,
I'm just grateful that

I got my young body out of there

before old Marissa could
put some miles on it.

[laughing]

Well, I got to go.

- Peace, yo.
- Yo, peace, boy.

Jazz, wait.

Listen, um, thank you,
I mean..

Well..

...thanks.

Sure, babe.

Hey, you want to go out with me
on Saturday night?

Listen, I just, I don't think
it's a good time.

I mean, I'd only
be saying "Yes"

because I felt like
I owed you something.

That's cool with me.

Maybe some other time.

Well, okay.

Goodnight, Hilary.

No, wait.

All a part of my plan.

[instrumental music]

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪♪