-Are you ready, kids?
-Aye, aye, Captain.
-I can't hear you.
-Aye, aye, Captain!
♪ Oh ♪
♪ Who lives in a pineapple
Under the sea? ♪
♪ SpongeBob SquarePants ♪
♪ Absorbent and yellow
And porous is he ♪
♪ SpongeBob SquarePants ♪
♪ If nautical nonsense
Be something you wish ♪
♪ SpongeBob SquarePants ♪
♪ Then drop on the deck
And flop like a fish ♪
-♪ SpongeBob SquarePants ♪
-Ready?
♪ SpongeBob SquarePants ♪
♪ SpongeBob SquarePants
SpongeBob SquarePants ♪
♪ SpongeBob SquarePants ♪
[captain laughs]
[piccolo playing]
[yawns]
Oh, Neptune, surely this isn't
the behavior befitting a king,
hiding in bed for days on end,
doing nothing but watching
daytime television.
Wait! Rochelle was just about
to meet her biological parents!
Is this about turning
five thousand today?
No. Oh, my darling Amphitrite,
it is not my age
that troubles me so.
It is that our son, Triton,
will not be able to share
in my revelry.
Let's forget about Triton
for just one day.
It's your five thousandth
birthday, for shell's sake.
Yeah. OK, so long as there's
no-one careless enough
to mention Triton.
Order up, Squidward!
I bet you're wondering why
I'm not using my hands today.
-Not in the least, SpongeBob.
-OK, OK, I'll tell ya.
Your order, ma'am.
I'm not using my hands
because today
is Work Without Your Hands Day.
You should give it a whirl,
buddy.
[phone rings]
Krusty Krab, SpongeBob speaking.
Just a minute, please.
Mr. Krabs?
It's a "Queen Amphitrite."
She wants to have King Neptune's
birthday party here.
Oh, she does, does she?
I'll handle this, laddy.
Yes, "Queen Amphitrite."
Very convincing. But you'll
have to call pretty early
to fool old Eugene Krabs,
prankster!
They think I was born yesterday.
Ack, ack, ack, ack, ack! Whoa!
Does seven o'clock work for you,
Your Majesty?
Oil up yer spatula, boy,
for tonight, you fry for a king!
So much for Work Without
Your Hands Day, SquarePants.
You answer to a higher calling
this day. I have the capability!
OK, that's enough, Patrick.
Thank you.
You two really out-did
yourselves!
It almost makes me want
to pay you. [laughs]
It looks like this area could
use a few more decorations.
-Squidward!
-Now what?
The decorations over here
are looking a little sparse.
Why don't you hang up
a few balloons or something?
Oh, that's better. Looks lovely,
Squidward. Excellent work.
-How goes it over here?
-All set, Mr. K.
Five thousand patties. One for
every year Neptune's been alive.
Five thousand patties
at . a pop.
[blabbers] Forty nundred n...
bubble able buhney...
Leave it to your old boss, here,
to capitalize on such
a momentous occasion.
Wow! Why, you rolled out
the red carpet.
This ain't for you lot!
This is for King Neptune!
Today is his birthday.
Oh, wait a minute.
King Neptune is coming here?
Oh, I'm a huge fan
of the royal family.
I just love everything they do.
Oh, could we please
maybe watch them eat,
right here, through the window,
you know?
Don't be ridiculous.
Why in Neptune's name
would I let you...
See Neptune eat!
Only five dollars!
Only a few seats left!
Thank you. Thank you.
Do you have change for a twenty?
Nope, sorry.
I guess it's $ for you, then.
Don't be shy, folks.
Seats are going fast!
[all gasping]
[horses neighing]
Greetings, my obedient flock.
[all cheer]
You were right, honey.
Hearing these mortals
cheer for me
has made me feel better already.
Excuse me,
Mr. Royal Sea King-ness.
Your table is this way, sir.
These seats are
surprisingly comfortable
for being no more than
primitive storage vessels.
Oh, husband, I'm so glad to see
you're enjoying
your birthday party.
And I am glad that you're glad,
my dear.
And I'm glad that you're glad
that I'm glad, my king.
And I'm glad that you're glad
that I'm glad
-that you're glad that...
-[all] All right already!
And methinks
I shall continue to enjoy it
so long as there continues
to be no mention of the name...
Triton! Triton! Tri-ton!
Is there a Triton here?
Is there anybody missing
from this party
that any of you guys can see?
Nope, there's nobody missing.
We're all here!
Oh, I was sure
there's somebody. Oh!
Oh!
Here it is right here.
An empty seat.
That's not an empty seat!
My wife is sitting there!
[laughs] No, not that chair,
Your Highness!
That one! See?
It even has its pretty name card
that I made still on it.
-Oh, no!
-T-R-I-T-O-N.
You sure you don't know anyone
named Triton?
[sobs]
Should I put it down, yes or no?
Triton is our son.
But as you can see,
the king doesn't want
to talk about it right now.
Thank you, my darling.
I'd rather not share
with this addled mortal
the woeful story of our son,
Triton.
Oh, that's a good thing, yeah.
You don't want to go there.
But I suppose I could tell it.
[all] No! No! Really, it's OK!
No, you're right.
I won't tell it.
Phew! Good!
Instead, I'm going to show
this mm movie I made about it.
[grumbling]
Could someone please
dim the lights?
It all started one day
while giving Triton
his smiting lessons.
That's how you strike fear into
the hearts of your subjects.
Now you try, son.
Son?
Triton was increasingly
fascinated
with the miserable world
of the lowly mortals.
Dad, when are you gonna teach me
the ball and stick game?
Never.
Now, take hold of your trident
and practice your smiting, son.
I don't feel like smiting.
I wanna play
the ball and stick game.
OK, son, you wanna learn
the stick and ball game?
Well, here's your first lesson.
Batter up.
[all exclaim]
It looks like I just hit
a single.
Let's see if you can get
a home run, son.
Leave me alone, Dad.
What was happening
to my own flesh and blood?
Over the next few millennia,
my son grew not only in size
but in perplexing behavior.
What's going on in here?
Hey, Dad. Check it out!
I'm studying chemistry,
and I've just created a cure
for all mortal diseases!
Nyaa! How many times do I have
to tell you, we are gods!
We don't have diseases,
nor do we care whether or not
the mortals contract them!
Gosh!
Try as I might, it was becoming
increasingly apparent
that we would not agree
on the ways of the world.
I knew I had no choice.
There was only one last resort.
No, not that one!
The island in the sky.
Isn't that island
a miniature golf course?
No! The one on the other side
of the river!
You mean the juvenile
correction facility?
But that place is for losers,
man.
Uh-huh.
OK, I'm standing in here.
Now what?
What are you doing?
This is bogus!
I'm sealing you inside
this magical shrinking cage
until you learn to embrace
your destiny
as one of the gods!
No!
You call THAT shrinking?
Well, it only shrinks %.
Man, that is just beyond bogus.
Perhaps in your eyes
it is beyond bogus,
but it's the only way
you'll learn.
Reflect on this
for , years.
You can't do this, man!
I've got a life to live!
I can't be stuck in this cage,
man!
Gah. I hate you, old man!
You hear me? I hate you!
-[voice echoing]
-No!
And that's that.
[snoring]
Huh? OK, who's ready
for a pipin' hot Krabby Patty?
Would you like the first one,
Your Highness?
Recounting this sad tale
has upset me so much
I've lost my appetite.
[sobs]
Take those sandwiches away.
Can't you see the king is upset?
It's OK. Let it out.
This is a rip off!
I paid to watch high-class
royal dining action,
not listen to
a boring sob story.
Ooh, looks like things may be
picking up. Royal v*olence!
Why have you not obeyed me,
mortal? Be gone!
So, who's gonna pay for these,
then?
If Neptune doesn't cheer up
soon, me business is ruined!
Oh, no. This is all my fault
because I mentioned Triton.
Well, it wouldn't be the first
time you've ruined everything,
but the worst part is those
, Krabby Patties
that will end up going rotten
in the hot sun.
Stop, Squidward, please stop!
Your descriptions
are too horrifying
for my delicate sensibilities.
I do have a way with words.
Oh, how I miss my son!
[sobs]
Hey, that's it! I'll fix this by
reuniting Neptune with his son!
Thanks again, Mr. Bus Driver!
Now, all I've got to do is find
King Neptune's long lost son.
[sobs]
C'mon, Krabs, think! Think!
Ooh!
Whatever it is, no.
Squidward,
you're a man of culture.
Go on.
Well, these high-falutin' types,
they might appreciate that,
don't you think?
Why don't you try
and razzle-dazzle them
with all your pizzazz?
Pizzazz.
Hold on to your hats
and glasses, people,
because Squidward
the Fantabulous has arrived!
Thank you, thank you.
This next one I wrote myself.
I like to call it
"Three Barnacles are a Crowd
Unless They've Known Each Other
for a Really Long Time."
[plays clarinet]
Things just got lame again.
Yeah, well, they better
get unlame real quick
or I'm asking for my money back.
No refunds?!
Well, I guess we're stuck here,
then.
[snores]
Argh! What the...?
I had the strangest dream
that I just got hit in the head
with a tiny toenail clipping.
Hey! I was right!
It is a tiny toenail clipping.
[gasps] Another one!
Plus some rope!
Hey, man! What's the big idea?
Who said that? Show yourself!
I'm warning you,
I know how to use these. Waah!
-I'm down here, man.
-Oh, hello, little fella!
Maybe you can help me, because
if I don't find Triton soon,
Mr. Krabs is gonna be
real upset,
cos he spent a lot of money
on party decorations.
-Party decorations? For what?
-For King Neptune's birthday!
So, it's my old man's birthday.
Big deal.
Oh!
You mean...
you're King Neptune's son?
I am.
But he doesn't seem to think so.
Well, he sure seemed upset
that you weren't at his party.
Ha! That's a real good one, man.
Real funny.
[chuckles] Well, thanks,
but I was just...
Do you think if that old goat
really cared
he'd have me sealed up here
in this magical cage
with nothing to do all day
but trim my fingernails?
You're right.
It just doesn't make any sense.
You're telling me, man.
I mean, gods shouldn't have to
use nail clippers.
They should be able
to will their fingernails
to whatever length they want.
Man, you're just like
all the rest.
Don't go!
What if I there was a way to
free you from this magical cage?
Then you could come
to your father's birthday
and settle your differences!
Then I'd ask you to brush
your teeth first, dude! Pee-yew!
Sorry, I haven't had anything
to drink in a couple days.
My throat's a little dry.
[coughs]
This cage is only so big, man.
I'm sorry.
I'll stop talking, I swear.
Never mind. Just undo the lock.
Boy, this really does look
complicated. Oh, I see.
I'll just slide this square
to the right, this one goes up,
this one over here... No, wait.
No. No. No!
Argh!
Man, that really is
a tough nut to cr*ck.
That lock was forged
by the gods!
Not just any numbskull
can open it
like it's some cheap bag
of potato chips
they found in the street.
Cheap bag of potato chi...
Wait a minute! Which way to
the nearest phone booth?
There's one behind
that rock over there,
but I don't see what...
-Hello, Patrick?
-Hey! Hey!
You'll never guess what I found
today in the street...
Yeah, I'll hurry.
Oh, Patrick, you made it!
This is that magical lock
I was telling you about.
-Hmm.
-Yeah, I tried it
for hours and hours,
but I just can't get it to...
-Open!
-Wow, already?
Patrick, I'll never figure out
how you're able to do those.
It's easy. I just peel
the stickers off the squares
and put 'em down
where they're supposed to go.
Amazing!
Well, now that
this silly old cage is open,
what do you say
we go pay my old man a visit?
Hate to keep him waiting
on his birthday.
Well, you guys comin' or what?
Wow!
Are you gonna take us
for a ride?
A ride! That's a great idea!
[snoring]
[both exclaim]
[tires screech]
You guys don't mind if I pull
over here for a second, do ya?
Sure, Triton. What do you need
to do, use the bathroom?
No, to tell you
I don't need you any more!
What an interesting man!
Ready for a room temperature
Krabby Patty yet?
-Nope.
-[groans]
Careful.
This is made of imported wood.
Imported all the way
from that junk pile out back.
Neptune's inconsolable.
Maybe if there was something
to distract him from his pain.
The only thing that can usually
do that is something that hurts
more than the original pain.
Great idea!
Go play them another song!
He's back.
Oh. Uh, how... nice?
If it pleases the king,
I would like to perform a...
[car horn]
-What the?!
-Behold!
What'd he say?
I think he wants us
to look out the... Oh, my!
[all cheer]
That was incredible!
Yeah, definitely worth
the five bucks.
Son?
Son, I demand to know
the meaning
of this impudent imprisonment!
Well, it turns out
you were right, old man.
Being trapped in that cage all
those years with nowhere to go
but up in here
made me realize something.
Dabbling in the world of
mere mortals is totally lame.
And this is how you
intend to show it?
No, man! This is how.
Ha, ha, ha!
By flying through the roof?
That was Triton, Neptune's son.
I thought he was in
reform school or something.
Hey! Can I have an autograph?
Sure you can.
[all screaming]
[screams]
Nothing can stop me! [laughs]
What's happened here?
Hello?
Where is everybody?
Do you think maybe Triton
was in that cage for a reason?
The Krusty Krab!
-It's still standing!
-But look!
That mail hasn't
been picked up today.
You're right.
We'd better use
the secret entrance.
-Be very, very quiet.
-Gotcha, pal.
[clattering]
What?
Please! I'll be ruined!
Don't worry, Mr. Krabs.
No-one was going to pay
for them anyway.
[sobs]
Oh, this is terrible!
Tell me about it!
I never get free food here.
Son, hear my words.
I can understand
if you want to keep me locked up
in this cage and zap me,
but see it in your heart
to release these others,
for they are innocent.
Well, maybe not all of them.
Sorry, old man. You lost me
at the "hear my words" part.
He's unstoppable.
Only as long as King Neptune
is locked up.
Are you thinking
what I'm thinking?
Yeah. Triple goo-berry sundaes
tonight after we free them?
No, but I like your idea better.
Make ready the disguise.
OK, now!
No! Please! No more!
Quick, Patrick!
Unlock it before he sees us!
You got it! Urgh!
SpongeBob,
scootch back a little.
Excuse me. OK, got it!
You better hurry it up, Patrick.
He's getting bored.
Don't rush me! OK, got it!
[zapping]
[chuckles]
I was just kidding, man!
No! No, please!
I never meant to.
Son, I have tried all my life
to be gentle.
But this time you have...
Are you responsible
for all this destruction?
Don't send me back to the cage,
man! I-I...
The cage?!
Why, son, you've just given me
the best five thousandth
birthday present
I've ever received!
You've finally learned
to use your god powers.
Now I know that when
my reign comes to a close,
I will have a worthy successor!
And that's really all
I could ever hope for as a king,
and as your father!
Come here, you!
Aw, Dad, I love you, man.
Huzzah!
-Yay!
-[whistles] Whoo-hoo! Yeah!
-Hooray!
-Whoo-hoo!
Celebrate!
Now let's go home, son.
Toodle-oo!
[all cheering]
Neptune and friends, wait!
What about the party!
What about me restaurant?
Ah, yes!
Many thanks, whoever you are!
It was the best birthday
I could ever have hoped for.
And it's all because of
your little employee there.
None of this would have happened
if it wasn't for his actions.
Did you hear that? Neptune said
this was all because of me!
-Well, SpongeBob, that's...
-Did you hear that?
Neptune said this was
all because of that guy!
He did, did he?
-Uh, SpongeBob?
-Yes, Patrick?
Do you think right now
might be a good time
to go get those triple goo-berry
sundaes you were talking about?
I think right now might
be an excellent time.
[mob shouts]
06x26 - The Clash of Triton/ Neptune's Party
Watch/Buy Amazon Merchandise
A square yellow sponge named SpongeBob SquarePants lives in a pineapple with his pet snail, Gary, in the city of Bikini Bottom on the floor of the Pacific Ocean.
A square yellow sponge named SpongeBob SquarePants lives in a pineapple with his pet snail, Gary, in the city of Bikini Bottom on the floor of the Pacific Ocean.