12x26 - Krusty Koncessionaires/Dream Hoppers

[bunniefuu]

- Are you ready, kids?


all:
Aye, aye, Captain!


- I can’t hear you.


all:
Aye, aye, Captain!


- ♪ Ohh... ♪


♪ Who lives in a pineapple
under the sea? ♪


all:
SpongeBob SquarePants!


- ♪ Absorbent and yellow
and porous is he ♪


all:
SpongeBob SquarePants!


- ♪ If nautical nonsense
be something you wish ♪


all:
SpongeBob SquarePants!


- ♪ Then drop on the deck
and flop like a fish ♪


all: SpongeBob SquarePants!
- Ready?


all:
SpongeBob SquarePants!


SpongeBob SquarePants!


SpongeBob SquarePants!


- SpongeBob


SquarePants!


[laughing]


♪ ♪


[waves crashing]


[jazz music]


♪ ♪


- Wow,
I never thought The Low Tides


would come to a backwater town
like Bikini Bottom.


- Squidward, I didn’t know
you liked The Low Tides!


[grunting, groaning]


- Yeah, they’re fine,


but that Clair St. Claire
is the real talent!


They say his clarinet
is so fancy,


it doesn’t play
any wrong notes!


- All right, enough nonsense!
Listen up!


This here’s the biggest concert


to come to Bikini Bottom
in decades!


[sniffs]


You smell that, boyos?


- [sniffs]


Ooh!
[giggles]


You smell like corn chips,
Mr. Krabs!


-I just smell the toilets.


[flush]
- Phew!


- Yeah, yeah.
All that’s in the air too,


along with the smell of money!


The show is sold out,


which means there’s
, fans in there.


And you are gonna sell
a Krabby patty


to every single one of them!


- [gasps]


What a great way
to make , new friends,


don’t ya think Squidward, huh?


Hmm?
Hmm?


Don’t you?
- [groans]


And what are you going to do
while we work all day?


- Glad you asked,
Mr. Squidward.


I will be taking
the toughest job of all.


I’ll be sneaking onstage


to unfurl this here banner
behind the band.


[mimics fanfare]


- "The Krusty Krab.


"Krabby patties are yummy.
Please your face.


Tonight would be great."


That’s the worst advertisement
I’ve ever seen.


[groans]


- What do you know about
celebrity endorser-mints?


Just get in there
and sell me patties!


Go, go, go, go, go, go, go!


[audience clamoring]


- Oh, boy!


SpongeBob and Squidward,
working side by side!


The two amigos,
patty purveyors,


the delicious duo.


- Backstage, huh?


[moans, clamoring]


- Mr. Squidward,
you’re on in two minutes!


- [groans]
Mm-hmm.


- Ladies and gentlemen,
it’s The Low Tides


with their special guest,
Squidward Tentacles!


[cheers]


[big band music]


♪ ♪


[clarinet plays]


♪ ♪


all: Squidward,
Squidward, Squidward!


♪ ♪


- Hmm.
Huh?


- Concession Kings!
Bun buddies forever!


- [groans]
- Whoa!


- You know, SpongeBob,
we would cover more ground


if we split up.


Why don’t you sell
to that half of the audience,


and I’ll take this half!


- Mmm, well,
I was looking forward


to spending
the whole day with you.


- I know, I’m so disappointed.


- But that is a great idea,
Squidward!


I love how you always put
the Krusty Krabs’s needs


before your own.


[laughs]


- Yes, I do, don’t I?
[chuckles]


Zip!


[hums, strains]


- Krabby patties!


Get your fresh,
hot patties here!


- I’ll take a Krabby Patty!


- Coming right up!


[grunting]


- Ooh!
-Watch it!


- Your patty, sir!


- Hey, Snack Boy!


Krabby patty me!


- Yo!
- What?


Hmm?


Hey, can I get
some mustard here?


- Mustard for the mister!
You got it!


[grunts]


all: Whoa!


- [squeals]
Thanks, kiddo!


all: Huh?


[laughter]


[groaning]


- Hmm?


Easy as taking money
from a baby.


[strains]


- No fans on the stage.
Get back to your seat!


[Tommy Walker’s "Charge"]


Whoa!


[laughter, groaning]


Whoa!


- Oh, man, I still can’t
believe your uncle Fred


was able to get us
backstage passes.


- Mm-hmm.


- Now, if I can just find
Clair St. Claire.


Oh, I’m sure he’d let
a fellow Gob Stick aficionado


play his instrument.


Hmm?


Oh, excuse me, janitor,


do you know where
the green room is?


- That depends.
Where’s your backstage pass?


- [whimpering]
Oh, uh, it’s right--


- Huh?
Ooh!


[cheers]


- He’s in the band!


[screams]


- Huh?


[screams]


[groans]


- [chuckles]


Oh, this must be it!


Okay.
[clears throat]


Clair St. Claire?
It is I, Squid--Patrick?


- Sorry, I don’t know anyone
named SquidPatrick.


- Patrick you idiot,
what are you doing here?


- This is my room.


Did you not see the star
on the door?


- [groans]
Well, where’s the green room?


I’m trying to find the band!
- I don’t know.


Hey,
I’ll bet my friend Stan does.


Yo, Stan!


[footsteps pounding, yells]


- You...


- Hey Stan, hey,
could you show my friend


where the green room is?


- Don’t worry.
I’ll take good care of him.


- [groans]
- [laughs]


- Help me.


- Bye, SquidPatrick!
Have fun!


[gulping]


- Hey, where’s my patty?


[groans]


- Yeah, over here!
- I want one!


- I’m a patty
launching machine!


[laughs]


- Thank you, Patty Boy!


- It was nothing.


Nothing!
I’m out of patties!


Well, I guess I just better
make some more!


Yup!


[hums]


- Huh?
- [hums]


[hums]


Fresh hot Krabby patties here!


Put a patty
in your pie hole!


Huh?


- Ah!


- Oh, it looks like I fed
my entire section.


Hmm?


[moans, groans]


[stomach rumbles]


[moans, groans]


Well, I guess Squidward
wouldn’t mind


if I sell a few patties
in his section.


- [grunts]


[cackles]


They’ll never look
for me up here.


Hmm.


[grunts]


[audience cheers]


[chuckles]


[clamoring]


Oh!
Whoa!


Oh!


Whoa!


[cheers]


- Eww!
Yuck!


- Whoa!
No, no, wait!


[yells, groans]


- Oh...


[spits]


- Yuck!


Who eats yogurt at
a rock concert?


All right, where am--
[gasps]


The stage!


Oh, forget the green room!

That’s Clair St. Claire’s
clarinet!


[chuckles]


- Ladies and gentlefish,
polyps and fries!


Here’s the band you’ve
all been waiting for!


You know them!
You love them!


It’s The Low Tides!


[cheers and applause]


- Huh?
[yells]


[whines]


[groans]
Oh, oh, oh!


Ow, ow, ow, ow.


[cheers]


[jazz music]


[piano plays]


- ♪ I was a lonely,
lonely lad ♪


♪ Solitary soul ♪


♪ Didn’t have the rock ♪


♪ And I didn’t know
how to roll ♪


♪ Joined me a band,
singing on the stage ♪


♪ They was swooning
and a-screaming ♪


♪ And now I’m all the rage ♪


♪ It’s a feeding frenzy ♪


♪ Everybody wants
a piece of me ♪


♪ It’s a feeding frenzy ♪


♪ I can’t get me no privacy ♪


♪ How am I gonna shake ’em? ♪
- Is it really him?


- ♪ The freaky fans found me ♪


♪ Man, they’ll tear me
limb from limb ♪


♪ They claw at my clothes,
steal my shoes ♪


♪ Tear out my hair,
I got nothing left to lose ♪


♪ Oh, it’s a feeding frenzy ♪


♪ The kids can’t get enough ♪


♪ Oh, it’s a feeding frenzy ♪


♪ This rock-n-roll
is getting rough ♪


[clarinet plays]


- [groans]


- Oh.


- Buddy, could you
put down your phone?


You’re blocking my sh*t!


♪ ♪


- Ah, looks like everyone
has a patty.


- [burps]


- [yells]
- Ow, ow.


Everyone but the band!


[whines]


Hmm.
Oh!


Aha!


Must sell patties!


[beep, whirr]


[strains]


Huh?


Oh!
Whoa!


- Ugh!
- Whoa!


- [yells]


Whoa!


- [giggles]


There’s no stopping me
this time!


Here we go!


A-one, a-two.
[beep]


Huh?
Hey!


What’s going on?
Help!


Help!
[garbled speech]


[yells]


[sighs]
Huh?


- Special delivery
for The Low Tides!


- Huh?
Whoa!


- Ow, ow, ow, ow,
ow, ow, ow, ow.


- Oh!
Hey!


[whimpers]


- [yells]
- [whimpers]


[all scream]


- Ow, ow, ow, ow,
ow, ow, ow, ow.


- Come on!


- [screams]


- [groans]


Don’t forget!


Brought to you
by the Krusty Krab!


- The Krusty Krab.
A crummy place to eat?


I didn’t know they
were serving us crummy food!


- Huh?
[groans]


Oh, come on.
[chuckles]


- Boo!
Boo I say!


[booing]
- Hey, no, no, no!


You don’t understand!


It’s not crummy!
[groans]


It’s yummy!
It’s--it’s...


[booing]


[chuckles]


[clicking rhythmically]
- Boo!


- Ooh, that’s a hot b*at,
Mr. Krabs!


[nose flute plays]


♪ ♪


- Oh, they’re pretty good!


- Yeah!
Let’s give them a chance!


♪ ♪


- All right, now for a little
licorice stick!


[inhales]


- Squidward’s got a clarinet!
Run!


[screaming]


- [whimpers]


[clarinet plays]


♪ ♪


- I can’t believe it!


This really is the greatest
clarinet ever made!


And you’re the greatest
audience I’ve ever--oh!


[crickets chirp]


[groans]


Huh?


- Nice jam, baby.


- Validation?


Oh, thank you,
Clair St. Claire!


Oh, this is the best day
of my life!


I can die happy!


[sighs]


- Oh, no, you don’t!


You’re working tonight,
and corpses can’t collect cash!


- [groans]


- Well, still the best day
of my life.


[happy music]


♪ ♪


- Krabby patties.


Get your krabby patties here.


Order up!


[yells]


Oops!
Or down.


[laughs]


Top row, get your patties!


[groans]


[Gary meows]


A patty for Gary?


Goodnight.


Eat tight.
Eat tight.


[laughs, snores]


[Gary yawns, snores]


["The Thieving Magpie"
playing]


♪ ♪


[machine whirrs]


♪ ♪


[ding]


[sputter, hiss, beep]


♪ ♪


[ping]


[horns tooting]


♪ ♪


[machine whirrs]


♪ ♪


[engine revs]


♪ ♪


[no audio]


♪ ♪


- Huh?
Hmm.


♪ ♪


- [snores]


♪ ♪


[glass shatters]


♪ ♪


- [pants]


Whew.


♪ ♪


[engine sputtering]


♪ ♪


- [snores]


♪ ♪


[funky music]


♪ ♪


[frantic music]


♪ ♪


[groans, screams]


♪ ♪


[burps]


♪ ♪


[upbeat music]


♪ ♪


[squeaking]


♪ ♪


[buzzing]


♪ ♪


[funky music]


♪ ♪


[no audio]


♪ ♪


[frantic music]


♪ ♪


[wind blows]


♪ ♪


[suspenseful music]


♪ ♪


[goofy music]


♪ ♪


[fanfare music]


[horn blares]


[goofy music]


♪ ♪


[no audio]


- [coughs]


[chokes, coughs]


Huh?


[chokes]


Huh?
[whimpers]


[sighs]


- [snores]


- [screams]


♪ ♪