02x01 - Welcome to Briarcliff

Episode transcripts for the TV show "American Horror Story". Aired: October 2011 to current*
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An anthology series that centers on different characters and locations, including a haunted house, an insane asylum, a witch coven and a freak show.
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02x01 - Welcome to Briarcliff

Post by bunniefuu »

(Present Day)

(Briarcliff)

(Outside)

Leo: Just look sexy, please.

Theresa: Come on.

Leo: You always look sexy. God, I'm so happy I married you. What are they going to do to me in there?

Theresa: If you stop taking pictures and come inside, we can find out. This place is amazing.

(A pair of newlyweds explore abandoned Briarcliff Manor.)

Leo: You think we're still going to want to bang each other when we're 80?

Theresa: Uh, you better. Otherwise I'm going to leave your a#s.

Leo: Wait a minute. I'm the best you've ever had.

Theresa: Actually, there was this one guy...

Leo: Shut up. Shut up. You are so sexy.

Theresa: Come on. Let's go inside.

Leo: Last stop on the haunted honeymoon tour.

Theresa: Better make it good.

Both: Mm-hmm.

Leo: ♪ Here comes the bride ♪

(Inside the asylum)

Theresa: (reading up on it on a smartphone) Built in 1908, Briarcliff Manor was the largest tuberculosis ward on the East Coast. 46,000 people d*ed here.

Leo: You think it's haunted?

Theresa: They shuttle the bod*es out through an underground tunnel called "the d*ath chute." We should totally do it in the d*ath chute.

Leo: Oh, my God, you are so demented. I love you.

Theresa: What are we going to tell our kids about the honeymoon?

Leo: Tell them the truth. How we visited the 12 most haunted places in America and screwed our brains out in every single one.

Theresa: Or that Mommy's a horror freak and Daddy lives to make Mommy happy?

Leo: Mmm, he does.

Theresa: Mm-hmm. (They kiss.) Come on. Let's keep exploring.

Leo: All right. We got an hour before sunset. Let's make it quick.

Theresa: The Catholic Church bought this place in '62 and turned it into a sanitarium for the criminally insane. Legend has it that once you are committed at Briarcliff, you never got out. Their most famous resident was a serial k*ller.

Leo: Bloody Face. (The walls are covered in graffiti, including "Bloody Face.") (for the camera) Say "Bloody Face."

Theresa: Bloody Face.

Leo: Teresa! You got to see this penny chair.

(They find an old shock treatment room.)

Theresa: Oh-ho. Tie my down. I'm sick, Doctor. Can you help me?

Leo: I don't know. You seem to have a very bad case of morbid erotica.

Leo: Ready for your injection?

(They start having s#x on the table.)

(They hear a noise.)

Theresa: What is that? What is that?

Leo: I don't... um...

Theresa: What is that? Let's go see.

Leo: No, no, no, no...

Theresa: Come on. No, come on. Let's go.

Leo: You're k*lling me.

Theresa: Promise I'll make it up to you.

Leo: No, you swear we're coming back. Promise me we're coming back.

Theresa: I promise, I promise.

Leo: Okay.

Theresa: Maybe it's Bloody Face.

Leo: Maybe it's just old pipes.

Theresa: You can totally put it in my a#s right now.

Leo: Wow.

Theresa: Oh, come on. I can't see.

(She wants to see through an access panel on a locked door.)

Leo: Hey, take it easy. Take it easy.

Theresa: What, you scared? P#ssy.

Leo: So t#ght. Oh, my God!

Theresa: What? What? What?Oh, you are such a prick. You are such a prick.

Leo: Speaking of which...

Theresa: No, I want to know what's in there. Do it again and I'll bl#w you.

Leo: Give me your phone.

(Leo sticks his hand through an access panel on a locked door to snap a picture. Something flashes in front of the screen and he screams. When he pulls away from the door, his arm has been ripped off.)

-[OPENING CREDITS]-

(1964)

(Service station.)

Kit (pump attendant): That'll be three dollars even.

Driver: 30 cents a gallon. You think because you're out here in the toolies you can gouge people?

Kit: I don't set the prices, sir.

Driver: Kids get a coloring book?

Kit: Yeah, that be Texaco.

Driver’s wife: Come on, Jack. I just want to go home.

Kit: Whoa. Nice. Drive safely. A#shole.

(Kit closes up the service station.)

(Radio:

♪ Do-da-do-do, bow, bow ♪
♪ Do-da-do-do, bow, bow ♪
♪ Do-do-da-do ♪
♪ There goes my baby ♪
♪ Moving on down the line ♪
♪ Wondering where, wondering where ♪
♪ Wondering where she is bound ♪
♪ I broke her heart ♪
♪ And made her cry ♪
♪ Now I belong ♪)

(Kit hears a noise.)

Kit: Sign says closed.

(Radio :

♪ What did I do? ♪
♪ There goes my baby ♪
♪ Whoa-oh-oh ♪
♪ There goes my baby ♪
♪ There ♪
♪ There goes my baby, oh-oh-oh... ♪)

(He goes to investigate and the lights go out.)

Billy: Boo! (Kit sees Billy with a couple other guys.)

Kit: Christ, Billy! Trying to get k*lled? Do you know what I keeps in this cabinet?

Billy: Look anything like this? (a g*n)

Kit: Geez, give me...Give me that.

Billy: Oh, oh, oh, oh, Ooh! We just want to borrow it. N#gger try to mess with Randy's little sister.

Kit: Are you guys insane?

Billy: Come on, Kit. We're just gonna scare him, come with us.

Kit: I'm not going with you guys. And neither is the g*n. So, just leave.

Billy: How much is Al paying you these days? I hear you got yourself a maid. That's what I hear anyway. (Billy takes a bite of a chocolate bar.) Mmm. Chocolate.

(They leave, Kit stays alone.)

(Kit returns home to his wife, who is black.)

Kit: Something smells good, Mrs. Walker.

Alma: I'm not to you putting those two words together. But I like it, Mr. Walker.

(They kiss.)

Both: Aw.

Alma: So, how are you?

Kit: Good. How are you?

Alma: I'm good.

(He slips on the wedding ring he hides at home.)

Kit: Let's do it, babe. Let's tell everyone. Come on. We didn't commit a crime. We drove to Provincetown and got married. Your family, my folks - they should know.

Alma: The world will change one day.

Kit: The world is wrong.

Alma: We need to keep it a secret.

Kit: Baby... it makes me feel like I can't protect my own family.

Alma: The roast is just about ready.

Kit: That's not what I'm hungry for. (They get in bed.) I can't take... damn it... Oh, babe.

Alma: I hope you like your beef tough and dry because that's what I want for dinner tonight.

Kit: The first course was delicious.

♪ Showing off their silver leaves ♪
♪ As we walked by ♪

(They kiss.)

Both: Mmm.

♪ Soft kisses on a summer's day ♪

Kit: Where you going?

Alma :To make you dinner.

Kit: Okay.

♪ They say that all good things must end ♪
♪ ...someday ♪

(Kit sees lights outside.)

Kit: sh*t! Alma, you stay in the kitchen no matter what, you hear me?

(He goes out with his shotgun to investigate.)

Kit: I know you're out here, Billy. Stop playing games.

(There's a bright white light in the sky.)

Alma: Kit!

Kit: Alma!

(He runs inside.)

Alma: Help me! Help me!

Kit: Alma!

(The place is trashed.)

Kit: Alma, answer me! Where are you?

(White light everywhere, along with an ear splitting noise.)

Kit: Aah!

(Windows shatter, the noise stops for a second, then things start to fly to the ceiling. Suddenly, he's yanked up to the ceiling, too, and the noise returns.)

(Kit is probed by little green men.)

(Asylum)

(Main entrance)

Lana: (to the guard)Lana Winters from the Gazette. I'm doing a story on your bakery, and I have an appointment with Sister Jude.

(Garden, a mentally and physically handicapped woman approaches Lana with a rose.)

Pepper: Play with me! Play with me!

(Lana pricked her finger with a thorn.)

Lana: Ow!

Sister Mary Eunice : Pepper, leave the lady alone.

Lana: Oh, it's fine. She was only trying to make friends. It was harmless.

Sister Mary Eunice : She's not harmless. She drowned her sister's baby and sliced his ears off. Follow me, miss.

(Sister Mary Eunice leads Lana inside the asylum.)

Patient : No! No! I don't want to go to bed!

Sister Mary Eunice : Sister Jude calls this her "stairway to heaven."

Patient : Leave me alone!

Sister Mary Eunice : A lady reporter...!

(Sister Judes’s office. Sister Jude is shaving Shelley's head.)

Sister Jude : Told you I would come find you, Sister Mary Eunice. Brush yourself off, Shelley.

Shelley : Do you think I'm full of shame and regret for what I've done now, Sister? You could shave me bald as a cue ball, and I'll still be the hottest tamale in this joint.

Sister Jude : (to Sister Mary Eunice) Take her to the common room so the others can witness her newfound immaculacy. And next time, knock. (to Lana) Remind me of your name.

Lana: Lana. Lana Winters. Can I ask what Shelley did? I assume you were punishing her for something.

Sister Jude : I assumed you were here to do a story on our bakery.

Lana: Oh, believe me, no one loves that molasses bread more than I do. I toast it for my breakfast every single morning.

Sister Jude : Shelley was brought to us having been given the preposterous diagnosis by a psychiatrist comparing her to a wood nymph.

Lana: You mean a nymphomaniac?

Sister Jude : Just more nonsense from the charlatans. That young woman is a victim of her own lust. There's no other name for it. Mental illness is the fashionable explanation for sin. You said your name's Lana? After the movie star? Now there's a train wreck of a soul. Jennifer Jones, however, there's a true lady. You've seen Song of Bernadette?

Lana: Oh, it's a classic.

Sister Jude : Yeah.

Lana: But at Briarcliff, I hear you're the true star.

Sister Jude : Oh, no, not me. The monsignor, Timothy Howard. He's the real visionary. Sit down. You make me nervous. You know what this place was just two years ago? A hellhole!

Lana: And I'm told the bakery was your idea.

Sister Jude : It was, but it was based on his philosophy. Well, write it down. He believes the tonic for a diseased mind lies in the three "P"s: productivity, prayer, and purification. The bakery's just the tip of the iceberg. Oh, we have such dreams for this place.

Lana: Are all your patients remanded here by the state?

Sister Jude : Not all. The monsignor's a man of charity. You know where most of our wards come from? The ghetto.

(Sister Mary Eunice enters.)

Sister Mary Eunice : They said to tell you that the... Oh, I didn't knock. I'm sorry, Sister.

Sister Jude : You were sent to tell me what?

Sister Mary Eunice : Sent to tell you...

Sister Jude : What?

Sister Mary Eunice : (whispering)The bad person will arrive any minute.

Sister Jude : Thank you, Sister. Well, are we ready for our bakery tour?

Lana: She's talking about the maniac, the k*ller of those women, isn't she? Bloody Face.

Sister Jude : Bloody Face?

Lana: An eyewitness caught a glimpse of him leaving one of the crime scenes wearing a mask, which appeared to be made of human flesh. I heard he's going to be admitted here today. Is there any way I can meet him?

Sister Jude : You're not in the least bit interested in our good works.

Lana: Our town's in a collective panic. This maniac is decapitating women, three of them so far.

Sister Jude : I see you for exactly who you are.

Lana: Three minutes. Give me three minutes with him, and I swear to God I will write an amazing...

Sister Jude : Swear to God?! It's rich coming from you.

Lana: People want to understand what's in the mind of someone like him.

Sister Jude : There's not a pious bone in your body.

Lana: Where's the harm in that?

Sister Jude : You're out of your depth, Miss Lana Banana. You want a story? Write this down. Your k*ller is being turned over to us by the authorities until it is determined whether he is fit to stand trial.

(The asylum watches as Bloody Face is brought in: it's Kit Walker.)

(Kit is stripped, showered, de-liced and strapped to a bed.)

Sister Jude : It's an ordeal, I know - our check-in procedures. Though, not a patch on what you put your victims through.

Kit: Sister, I didn't k*ll anybody.

Sister Jude : The guards have given you over to my care. Not for correction, but for storage while they weigh your fate. This is not a meat locker. Here, you will repent for your crimes to the only judge that matters: the Almighty God.

Kit: There is no God. Not a God who would create the things I saw.

Sister Jude : Your story about little green men? No, never will do here.

Kit: They weren't human. They were monsters.

Sister Jude : All monsters are human. You're a monster. I wonder... did her dark meat slide off the bone any easier than your other victims? (He spits in her face.) You're gonna wish you hadn't done that. (She beats him.)

(Kit walks out into the common area, with welts all over his back and legs.)

♪ Dominique-nique-nique s'en allait tout simplement ♪
♪ Routier, pauvre et chantant ♪
♪ En tous chemins, en tous lieux, ♪
♪ Il ne parle que du Bon d*eu ♪
♪ Il ne parle que du Bon d*eu ♪

Patient : Ass munch!

Shelley : Ooh, Sister Jude is on the warpath!

Kit: Hey, stop it!

Shelley : Can't make the welts go away, but I can make you forget you had 'em.

Kit: The nurse already gave me a salve.

Shelley : A salve can't cure you like I can... in your session in the hydrotherapy room with me. I speak French... and Greek.

Kit: Will you b*at it?!

Shelley : He's mine. He's mine!

♪ Il ne parle que du Bon d*eu ♪
♪ Certains jours un hérétique, ♪
♪ Par des ronces le conduit ♪
♪ Mais notre père Dominique ♪
♪ Par sa joie le convertit ♪

Kit: I can't take this.

♪ S'en allait tout simplement... ♪

French patient : Don't touch that. (to touch the record player) Any one of them will sell you out. They get a piece of candy, you get another five welts on your ass. It's a rule. As long as the common room is open, the song plays. There's a rule for everything here. I learned them all the hard way, trust me.

Kit: Why should I trust you?

French patient : Because I'm not crazy.

Patient : Hey, Bloody Face, you're him, right? You must be the most dangerous man here. I heard you skinned them alive. The last one, a colored girl. I guess you didn't like her color. (He punches Kit.)

Patients : Fight, fight, fight!

French patient : Get off of him!

Patients : Fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight!

(Kit fights him off and is b*ating him when Sister Jude comes in and breaks things up by blowing her shrill whistle.)

Kit: He started it.

♪ Dominique-nique-nique s'en allait tout simplement ♪

Kit: No. No!

(In his cell in a straight jacket, Kit thinks of his wife. The French woman brings him food and a cigarette.)

French patient : Psst! Hey, you gotta eat.

Kit: How'd you get back here?

French patient : Kitchen detail. I volunteered. Here.

Kit: Why are you being so nice to me?

French patient : What you put out into the world comes back to you.

Kit: So what'd you put out into the world to get locked up in a place like this?

French patient :They say I chopped up my family. You gonna ask?

Kit: Did you?

French patient : No. Did you m*rder your wife?

Kit: No, I'm not crazy.

French patient : That's unfortunate. They decide you're sane, you're going someplace way worse than this.

Kit: What could be worse than this?

French patient : You think it's bad not having a chair? Just think of the one they'll strap you into. (They hear a noise.) I'll try to come back later.

Kit: Hey! What's your name?

French patient : Grace.

(In another room. Sister Mary Eunice cries.)

Sister Mary Eunice : He's gone. Willie's gone. There was a medical emergency last night. I didn't even know he was sick.

Sister Jude : Why wasn't I informed?

Sister Mary Eunice : Dr. Arden asked to have him taken directly t-to his wing.

(Sister Jude confronts Dr Arden.)

Sister Jude : I demand you give me access to your laboratory.

Dr. Arden : When the monsignor brought me out of retirement to run Briarcliff's medical unit, we made a gentlemen's agreement.

Sister Jude : Curious, since only one of you is a gentleman. Please look at me when I speak to you.

Dr. Arden : I'm not one of your charges, Sister, quaking in my boots. Do you have any idea what this is?

Sister Jude : It's a plant. A little Elena.

Dr. Arden : This particular strain of Alstroemeria has never existed before. It was created by bombarding the plant with gamma rays. It is an affirmation of the power of science over nature.

Sister Jude : Your little mutation doesn't change the fact that in order for this institution to thrive, I need to manage your operation.

Dr. Arden : Sister... if you could manage to stay out of my business, I'll try and stay out of yours.

Sister Jude : Let's discuss another matter : the patients, four of them, including Willie last night, have disappeared under your supervision.

Dr. Arden : They d*ed.

Sister Jude : That's it? Period? No explanation.

Dr. Arden : Patients committed here suffer not only diseases of the mind, but also of the body.

Sister Jude : Where are the bod*es?

(We see a brief flash of someone ravenously eating a plate of food.)

Dr. Arden : Cremated. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. Cause of d*ath documented in their d*ath certificates.

Sister Jude : I find it interesting that of all the patients that d*ed since you've been here, none have family. No one to grieve or to ask questions. I think you're lying. And in time, whatever it is you're hiding will come to see the light of day. I've dealt with bigger monsters than you, Doctor. Let me give you fair warning: I'll always win against the patriarchal male.

Dr. Arden : Bully for you.

(Lana’s home)

Lana: I am telling you, Wendy, that battle-axe has secrets. Under all that piousness and fidelity... there's a real darkness. Getting high before dinner?

Wendy : Friends Makes your food taste better. If your gut says there's a story, then there is. Blow the lid off the place like Maisel did with "Bedlam 1946." Get yourself a Pulitzer. Problem is... your editor won't let you do it.

Lana: Emmerman's an a#shole. He thinks that Canada geese leaving Chicopee a month early is a Column "A" story, and he wants me to write the cooking column.

Wendy : Your cooking is horrible.

Lana: Why do you think I never eat it? I'm not doing this for Emmerman. I write it on my own, and I get it out to Life or Look. This is my sh*t.

Wendy : I know, baby, and I am behind you 100%. If you need to take some time off to get this story done, I want you to do it.

(Wendy avoids Lana who wants to kiss her.)

Wendy: The blinds are open.

Lana: No one can see. The pot's making you paranoid.

Wendy : You think the PTA is going to be cool if they find out a d*ke is teaching little Bobby and Suzie science? I mean, I have to fight to get evolution on the curriculum.

Lana: You're right. I'm sorry. (They kiss.) Anything I do in my life, I can do because you love me.

Wendy : I know, baby. So how are you gonna get in?

(Asylum)

(Sister Jude prepares a special dinner of coq au vin.)

Sister Jude : Hail, Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.

Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our d*ath.

(She puts on a lacy red slip and perfume under her habit to dine with Monsignor Timothy Howard.)

Mgr Howard : You are a rara avis, Sister Jude.

Sister Jude : What does that mean?

Mgr Howard : It means "rare bird." In Latin.

Sister Jude : And it's a compliment or a criticism?

Mgr Howard : It's a compliment. Most women of the cloth feel they have to deny all sensory life when they take their vows.

Sister Jude : No. (She doesn’t want wine.) I've renounced spirits.

Mgr Howard : Are you sure? Your cooking reveals an almost decadent palate.

Sister Jude : "Decadent." Is that a subtle reprimand, Father?

Mgr Howard : Oh, you know me better than that. I always say what I mean. I'd appreciate the same from you.

Sister Jude : As usual, you've seen right through me, Father. When you put me in charge here, I thought your faith in me was based on our mutually shared vision of madness as a spiritual crisis, an absence of God.

Mgr Howard : That remains true.

Sister Jude : I want to know where you found... Dr. Arden. He is not a man of God.

Mgr Howard : The Church approved him. He was sent here by people better equipped to judge his godliness than you.

Sister Jude : Say what you will, your rare bird has a nose for rodents.

Mgr Howard : You mustn't be so fearful. It was God, after all, who created both science and Heaven. God put the idea in a doctor's head to create the antibiotic that cured tuberculosis. These are amazing times, if you just look at it in another light.

Sister Jude : There is no other light.

Mgr Howard : We're literally almost on the moon. Our dear departed John F. Kennedy, a Catholic, was elected President. This is a time when anything can happen, if someone wants it enough.

Sister Jude : But what on earth do we want, if not to save souls?

Mgr Howard : Here's... what I want. I want this institution to become a place of such promise and renown that we are asked to be Cardinal of New York.

Sister Jude : "We?"

Mgr Howard : Wherever I go, you go. You're my right hand. You'll become Mother Superior, overseeing thousands of nuns who will address you as "Reverend Mother." And then, with God and you on my side... I see no reason why I couldn't ascend to the office of first Anglo-American Pope. You'd enjoy Rome. Wouldn't you, Sister?

(She imagines stripping down to her lacy underthings and climbing on top of him.)

Mgr Howard : I need you to be a team player. The doctor needs full oversight of his domain. You... look after yours.

(Dr. Arden’s lab)

Sister Mary Eunice : Can you hear them? They sound like they're getting hungrier.

Dr. Arden : It's to be expected. The weather's changing. They'll need some meat.

Sister Mary Eunice : What are they?

Dr. Arden : Do you trust me? (She nods.)Good.

(Sister Mary Eunice heads outside with buckets and leaves them in the woods. She runs into Lana.)

Lana: You're always in such a hurry, Sister. Why are you out so late at night? Sister Mary Eunice : Oh, please don't tell Sister Jude.

Lana: What is that? Some kind of animal?

Sister Mary Eunice : We can't stay here. We have to go. Ugh...

(Dr Arden visits Kit in his cell.)

Kit: Grace? Ah!

Dr. Arden : All right, son. You shouldn't be locked in here. Not when there's so much to do. (Arden injects him with something.)

(Back in the present)

(Theresa puts a tourniquet on Leo's arm.)

Leo : Am I bleeding out?

Theresa : We got to get you back into town. It's only five miles away. Leo! Leo? Don't fall asleep. Come on, baby. Can you make it to the car? (She tries to drag him to the car.) Come on... Oh! Where's your phone? Is that in your car? Leo! Okay, I'll be right back. (She runs to get his phone from the car, but finds every way out of the asylum is barred or locked.)

(1964)

(Asylum)

(Sister Mary Eunice leads Lana through her tunnel shortcut in the woods.)

Sister Mary Eunice :This way. Hurry.

Lana: What is this place?

Sister Mary Eunice :It's my shortcut from the woods.

Lana: What were you feeding out there? I guess I'll have to ask Sister Jude.

Sister Mary Eunice :Why? Why would you do that?

Lana: She scares you, doesn't she? She scares you to d*ath. You let me look around for five minutes, and I won't tell Sister Horrible about your nighttime forays. Or your secret tunnel.

(Dr. Arden wheels Kit into one of his therapy rooms.)

Dr. Arden : Hello, Mr. Walker. I'm Dr. Arthur Arden. I run this institution.

Kit: I thought Sister Jude ran this place.

Dr. Arden : So does she.

(Sister Jude patrols the hall.)

(Sister Mary Eunice lets Lana look around.)

Sister Mary Eunice :Five minutes, and then you leave.

Lana: Scout's honor. Where are you keeping Bloody Face? Is he in here?

(Therapy room.)

Dr. Arden : There was a time when a fanatic like Sister Jude could have had me thrown in prison for my ideas, tortured. Maybe even castrated like Brother Abelard. These are not the Middle Ages, no matter how tightly the good sister and her brood try to hold on to their fairy tale. No. This is my time now. The time of science.

(Lana and Sister Mary Eunice walk through the men's ward.)

Sister Mary Eunice :Miss, please. Not in here. This is the men's ward.

Mr. Spivey : What's this? Two little chicks, looking for a place to roost?

Sister Mary Eunice : Back to bed, Mr. Spivey. You shouldn't be up.

Mr. Spivey : Oh, I'm up. I made a mess, Sister. You want to see it?

(One flicks feces on Sister Mary Eunice)

Sister Mary Eunice : I'll be right back, miss. Please don't go anywhere.

(She runs off, leaving Lana alone.)

Mr. Spivey : I got more for you, lady.

(Therapy room.)

Dr. Arden : I hope you don't mind if I don't use anesthetic. It interferes with my readings.

(Men's ward.)

Patient : Hey, lady!

(Lana continues to explore and runs into a male orderly being serviced by Shelley.)

Employee : You're not supposed to be in here.

Lana: I guess you better report me then. Unless nobody saw anything. (to Shelley) I'm sorry about your hair. Is this where they're keeping the maniac?

Shelley : Which one?

Lana: Kit Walker.

Shelley : No, he misbehaved. They took him to solitary. He'll have to play with himself for a while.

Lana: Solitary? Where's that? (They hear noise.)

(Lana hides in an empty cell when Sister Jude comes to inspect.)

Sister Jude : Alfred, get your hands out of your pants.

(Therapy room.)

Kit: Why are you doing this to me?

Dr Arden : The devil doesn't reside in hell, Mr. Walker. He lives right here in the frontal gyrus. The occipital lobes. Inside those beautiful brains lies the secret to understanding the darkness of the human psyche. And ten of them put together are not as dark as what resides right here, in this cute, blonde melon.

(Lana continues to explore.)

(Therapy room. Dr Arden hooks Kit up to his machine and recites from the police report.)

Dr Arden : "Victim was found naked. Preliminary findings indicate that the skinning occurred while the victim was still breathing."

(Kit remembers being probed by little green men and sees his wife.)

Alma: Kit!

Kit: Alma!

Alma: Help me!

Kit: Alma!

Dr Arden : You sliced her from the feet up. What did you do with the skin? I'm not here to pass judgment, Mr. Walker. I'm merely interested in methodology. Hello. What's this? (He finds a bulge in Kit's neck and slices it open.) Way too hard to be a tumor. (Dr Arden pulls out a microchip that immediately sprouts legs and crawls off.)

(Lana looks into a cell in solitary.)

Lana: Mr. Walker? Mr. Walker?

(She is grabbed by a large arm.)

(Later, Sister Jude chews out Sister Mary Eunice.)

Sister Jude : You've put everything at risk. Everything. Our reputation, the life's work of our great monsignor, all his future dreams.

Sister Mary Eunice : I used bad judgment, Sister.

Sister Jude : Bad judgment? Like eating too much cake? Is that what you mean, Sister?

Sister Mary Eunice : Miss Winters got me very confused.

Sister Jude : Maybe the sin is mine; maybe my faith in you was nothing but the sin of pride.

Sister Mary Eunice : No, you're not a sinner, Sister.

Sister Jude : I favored you. I coddled you. I refused to see what others saw. When they said you were stupid, I said no, simply, you were more pure than the others.

Sister Mary Eunice : It's not big enough, Sister. (She grabs a larger cane from the closet.) Punish me, Sister, please. I'm so weak and stupid, Sister. Stupid dummy.

Sister Jude : Stand up and get out. I don't have time for this.

Sister Mary Eunice : Too good to me, Sister.

Sister Jude : If I ever hear you call yourself stupid again, I'll cane you bloody.

(Lana wakes up strapped to a bed in a head brace with Sister Jude standing over her.)

Sister Jude : You're awake. I'm so relieved.

Lana: What's going on?

Sister Jude : You had an accident.

Lane Something att*cked me.

Sister Jude : You writers, with your very fertile imagination. You took a tumble.

Lana: Get me out of this thing.

Sister Jude : No, no. You mustn't move. You've got a long recovery ahead of you.

Lana: You can't keep me here.

Sister Jude : No?

Lana: There are people who will come looking for me.

Sister Jude : Do you think so?

(Lana’s home.)

(Sister Jude meets with Lana's girlfriend.)

Wendy : You said she was hurt?

Sister Jude : While trespassing. You and Miss Winters have a charming home here, Miss Paisa, very cozy.

Wendy: I need to see her.

Sister Jude : But surely, you're not her family?

Wendy: Lana's parents don't speak to her anymore. I-I'm practically family. We're very close.

Sister Jude : Are you now?

Wendy : Like sisters.

Sister Jude : But point in fact, you're not sisters, are you, Miss Paisa? I mean, you have no legal standing.

Wendy : I have a moral standing.

Sister Jude : Moral? There's an interesting word. You're a... spinster, schoolteacher, I take it?

Wendy : I teach the third grade.

Sister Jude : Oh, I admire that. The molding of young minds is a sacred charge. You would never intentionally do anything to put these precious youngsters at risk?

Wendy : Of course not.

Sister Jude : So when you agreed to room with Miss Winters, you couldn't possibly have been aware of her... inversion?

Wendy: Inversion?

Sister Jude : I mean, you would never intentionally expose these little angels to a h#mosexual, would you?

(Asylum. Lana’s room.)

Sister Jude : We both know what that so-called monster in the closet really is, don't we, Miss Winters? That's why you've come. Because something in you knew that you needed help.

(Lana’s home.)

Wendy : Are you threatening me, Sister?

Sister Jude : It is I who have been threatened, young woman. Your friend gained access to my facility under false pretenses. She had no interest in our bakery. She wanted an inside look into a mental ward, and I intend to see that she gets it.

Wendy : You can't do this.

Sister Jude : Oh, yes, I can. I can do it either by exposing the shenanigans that took place in this love nest, or I can do it discreetly. She will, of course, receive the finest of care.

Wendy: I have no legal standing.

Sister Jude : You are a respected member of this community, at least for now. Your sworn statement along with our professional diagnosis is more than enough for a friendly judge to remand Miss Winters into my custody. It's a small town. A scandal will work just as well. You'll be ruined. You'll never step into a classroom again.

Wendy: Wait! Wait! (Terrified, Wendy signs it.)

(Asylum.)

(Lana’s room.)

Sister Jude : We're gonna slay that monster together-- you and I. Morning devotionals are at 6:00 a.m. sharp. No exceptions.

Lana: No! Let me out of here! Come back here, you bitch!

Sister Jude : Chin up. We're gonna get you cured.

Lana: Help me! (Sister Jude closes the door.)

Sister Jude : (to Sister Mary Eunice) Did you manage it?

Sister Mary Eunice : Yes, Sister Jude. (Sister Mary Eunice takes the keys to the men's ward.)

Lana: Help me!

Sister Mary Eunice : Though shalt not steal.

Sister Jude :Well, hopefully, that's the only commandment you had to break in order to get these.

Lana: Come back here!

(Sister Jude finds Dr Arden cleaning a room with disinfectant.)

Dr Arden : Ah, Sister Jude. Come to lend a hand?

Sister Jude :What's going on in here?

Dr Arden : Just a little spring cleaning.

Sister Jude :That odor-- what is it?

Dr Arden : Disinfectant. Standard sanitary procedure. Cleanliness is, after all, next to godliness.

Sister Jude :Something's been living in here.

Dr Arden : That's absurd. This room has been closed up for years. I'm in need of some extra storage space. I think this will do quite nicely.

Sister Jude :Don't think you can pull one over on me, Doctor. I'll ferret it out. Whatever it is you're up to.

Dr Arden : A ferret. Delightful creature. I used to keep one as a pet. Until it bit me, and I broke its neck. You brought me my keys? Thank you.

Sister Jude : You may think my mind is closed, Doctor, but my eyes are wide open, I promise you. You hear me?

(Today. Leo slowly bleeds out on the asylum floor as Theresa continues to look for a way out. She turns a corner and runs into Bloody Face, bulging eyes, torn skin, holding an ice pick. )

–[End]–
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