02x08 - Unholy Night

Episode transcripts for the TV show "American Horror Story". Aired: October 2011 to current*
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An anthology series that centers on different characters and locations, including a haunted house, an insane asylum, a witch coven and a freak show.
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02x08 - Unholy Night

Post by bunniefuu »

Tommy's is full of holes, and the tail is falling off.

I want my own, just like Fess Parker.

Is that all Christmas is to you, presents?

Put this in the can.

Ho, ho, ho!

Merry Christmas!

Now, you be good and listen to your mom and maybe that coonskin cap will be under your tree Christmas morning,

huh?

They're closed.

Come on, I think the Star Market is open until 9:00.

Whew!

He's gonna be pretty steamed at you if he doesn't get that hat.

Well, if he's good enough, his mother will end up giving it to him.

If he's naughty, he'll blame himself.

It's never your fault, hmm?

It's all about the list.

Some kid doesn't get their Renco Frogman, but you can't blame Santa.

Pretty nifty win-win you set up for yourself.

Hey, buddy... I'm just ringing the bell two nights a week, to get out of the house till my wife falls asleep.

Santa?

Oh.

Hi, sweetie.

This is a fantastic train set.

The farm even has tiny little hay bales.

It's my dad's.

Mm-hmm.

Where's your beard?

I shaved. It was scratchy.

Why are you here?

Christmas isn't for six days.

That's what you get for letting Rudolph organize your calendar.

And it would explain the lack of milk and cookies.

Why didn't you come through the chimney?

What's your name, sweetie?

Susie.

Susie.

That's a lovely name.

Well, Susie, none of it makes much sense, does it, huh?

Flying reindeers, shimmying down chimneys, every good Christian house in the world in one night, Huh?

They call me crazy.

Are you hurt, Santa?

Oh, no, no, no, no.

No, this isn't Santa's blood.

You want to take me to Mom and Dad?

Merry Christmas, Daddy.

It's not Christmas yet, baby.

Haven't you been keeping your advent calendar?

It's wrong. Santa's here.

I think we should all go downstairs.

Milk and cookies time for you and me, Susie.

What do you want? Money?

I have a safe upstairs, under the bed, with $5,000 cash in it.

Jewelry, too.

You want to know why I chose your house?

Your Christmas decorations.

Christ, man, I mean, what are you trying to prove out there, hmm?

What's wrong with a little Christmas spirit?

You know, you're right.

You're right.

You know what tonight needs?

A little more jingle bells.

Stop! What do you want?

I'm "Santee" Claus!

I'm here to bestow a little Christmas spirit upon you because what is Christmas about if it's not about families being together?

Do you appreciate that right now? Do you?

Don't you feel wonderful about being

with your family, huh? Huh?

Yeah.

Yes? Yes?

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

So...

I'm gonna tell you what Santa's gonna leave under your tree tonight.

He's gonna leave a little terror.

A little r*pe.

You keep your hands off of her.

Who said anything about her?

You know the difference between that Santa Claus and me?

He only comes once a year.

Please leave us.

I have to finish my list, huh?

It wouldn't be Christmas without one big ticket item from Santa's sack.

And I'm feeling so full of the Christmas spirit, I...

am gonna let you choose which one of you

I k*ll first.

No, please. Stop.

Y-You don't have to do this.

You know what?

I'm not feeling very Christmassy.

♪ Here comes Santa Claus, here comes Santa Claus ♪
♪ Right down Santa Claus Lane ♪
♪ Vixen and Blitzen and all his reindeer ♪
♪ Bells are ringing, children singing ♪

I have an exciting announcement, people.

Christmas... is back.

After last year's debacle, Sister Jude told you we'd never celebrate Christmas here again.

Well, I say... "Bah Humbug."

We need a little Christmas, and luckily, we are under new management.

Line up.

♪ So jump in bed ♪ Now!

♪ And cover your head... ♪
♪ 'Cause Santa Claus comes tonight... ♪

Let's go.

That mean old Grinch tossed out all of our ornaments.

So, we'll need to improvise.

Mr. Deakins.

♪ Here comes Santa Claus, here comes Santa Claus... ♪

You wear dentures, don't you?

♪ He'll come around when chimes ring out ♪
♪ It's Christmas time again ♪
♪ Peace on Earth will come to all ♪
♪ If we just follow the light ♪
♪ So let's give thanks to the Lord above ♪
♪ 'Cause Santa Claus comes tonight ♪
♪ Here comes Santa Claus, here comes Santa Claus ♪
♪ Right down Santa Claus Lane ♪
♪ Vixen and Blitzen and all his reindeer... ♪

You see?

We all make a little sacrifice for the greater good.

That's the spirit of Christmas.

♪ Peace on Earth will come to all ♪
♪ If we just follow the light ♪
♪ So let's give thanks to the Lord above ♪
♪ 'Cause Santa Claus comes tonight. ♪

O, Lord, I beg of you, through your loving-kindness, have mercy on the soul of Grace.

Through Christ our Lord.

Oh.

Grace...

I swear to you, I'm gonna make things right.

You have my solemn word.

Doctor, I've been thinking...

You want to be careful, Frank.

That can be dangerous.

I think we should call the police.

I think we should tell them what happened, about Kit Walker, about Sister Felicity, about that...

monster.

And what about you?

You sh*t and k*lled an unarmed woman, Frank.

Are you quite sure you want to bring the authorities into this?

Yeah, I'm ready to face whatever consequences come from it.

I'll see what I can do.

I've been asking myself how is it the Devil can move so freely here among the sacred icons?

How does a demon wear a crucifix and not burn the flesh it inhabits?

And then I realized...

it's her.

You're using

Mary Eunice-- her purity - as a shield.

What if I were to slit this soft throat and release her soul to Heaven, then where would you go, foul thing?

Might just jump into you.

You made a big mistake coming back here.

No, you made a mistake.

And I'm about to send you back to the hell that made you.

Yeah? What are you gonna do?

Cane the Devil out of me?

This demon, it tricks you.

Sister, may I have a word?

Dr. Arden...

...call security.

We have an intruder.

You're making a mistake, Doctor.

Because you deny God, you can't see the Devil right in front of you.

See that she doesn't come back on the property.

We have a problem.

I can handle Jude.

I didn't mean Jude, although I wouldn't underestimate her, if I were you.

Our former Irish cop is feeling the need to confess.

I've got it under control.

Oh, Sister Jude.

I thought you never wanted to see me again.

Jude is gone.

There's been a change in management.

Try to remain presentable.

There's a photographer coming from the Gazette to take our picture.

I would like to see bright, shining faces

delighting in your bag of chestnuts and your new hymnal...

Sister?

gifts from the Monsignor himself.

The-The-These cuffs, huh?

They're heavy, and they dig in.

Where's your Christmas spirit, Sister?

What do you take me for, an idiot? Huh?

You k*lled 18 people from five families in one night.

You might expect to remain in irons for the rest of your life.

Well, I don't want to be in your shitty picture, then.

I don't want to be any part of your damn lie.

Yeah, what lie is that?

Nothing like a picture of happy, shiny faces to take away the guilt of locking us away.

You got that backwards, Mr. Emerson.

The picture is to remind the public that without Briarcliff, you would be out there, living among them.

And that's why you will be front and center, shackled...

and under control.

What's he doing?

Who, Sean? He's handing out the presents like you asked.

He's wearing that silly hat and that ridiculous beard.

Now, I thought I very was clear about how I wanted Christmas celebrated.

All respect, Sister, I really don't see the problem with it.

The-The patients love it, it makes Sean and the boys happy.

And St. Nicholas was a saint.

The photographer's here!

Sister Jude, the newspaper photographer is here.

I thought we decided that you would bring him in when we were ready.

I'm sorry.

Are we not ready?

Take him to the hole!

Oh, you really don't want me out there with other people this time of year.

Not as yourself.

Your beard goes perfectly with the suit.

Jesus, you don't know what Christmas means to me?

I do now, Leigh.

I know you were a petty criminal thrown in jail for shoplifting a loaf of bread, and while you were in there, the jailers went caroling in the cell block, and five men held you down and took your virginity.

Well...

the first one did.

The others took your dignity, and your self-esteem and...

most importantly...

your Christmas spirit.

But then you got out and you found the suit, and it gave you everything you were missing.

You see, I-I knew who deserved to live and who deserved to die.

Who was naughty, who was nice.

And you had the power, Leigh.

You can have it again.

Who do you want to be?

The victim...

...or the victor?

Sister.

I hope I'm not interrupting.

Come on in, Arthur.

I was just thinking about my Christmases.

There were so many of us that all we got was a tangerine and socks.

Did you celebrate Christmas in your n*zi household?

We had wonderful Christmases when I was a boy.

They're some of fondest childhood memories.

And in that spirit, I've brought you a Christmas present since you've now become my family.

You're joking!

How adorable!

Is it Tabu perfume?

Open it.

I think you'll be pleased.

Well, knowing you, it's probably some cheap toilet water from the Woolworth's.

Yardley's Lavender.

Christ, why even get my hopes up.

Well... la-dee-da.

Mother of God, are they real?

Very.

Rubies are the most glamorous of all.

You couldn't have found them in this dreary town.

Are they family heirlooms?

They belonged to a Jewess in the camp.

She was always reminding people that she was a woman of considerable means, and that her husband was an influential and wealthy doctor in Berlin.

She was constantly complaining to me about her stomach problems, and as a doctor, I thought I ought to do something about it.

So I followed her, one day, to the latrine, thinking I might diagnose her condition if I had a stool sample.

She was in there, on her hands and knees, picking through her own feces to retrieve those earrings.

She confessed to me that she swallowed them every day, day after day, carrying them around inside of her, as if, someday, she might return to her former grandeur.

Poor, ridiculous woman, she d*ed from internal bleeding.

The earrings were very hard on her intestines.

Obviously, I retrieved them.

I knew someday I'd meet someone who was worthy of their exceptional beauty.

You were very clever to retrieve them, Arthur.

Look how beautiful they are on me.

They bring out the rose in my cheeks.

Oh...

you're such a sap.

Not exactly for the reasons you may think, but a sap nonetheless.

I so dearly hoped you'd throw them back in my face, that you couldn't bring yourself to touch those sh*t-stained earrings.

I was hoping there'd be a glimmer of horror, a glimmer of that precious girl who was too afraid even to take a bite of my candy apple...

You're pathetic.

And gee whiz, I just hate to break it to you...

...but you're no angel either.

Now... I have work to do, and you're either with me, or you're against me.

And if you're against me, even God can't help you.

The cook has a terrible habit of forgetting to wash his hands.

I keep telling him...

I haven't eaten anything.

I'm just upset.

I need to know if Sister Mary Eunice talked to the police.

If Sister Mary Eunice says she's going to do something, then you have to believe it has been done.

You need to stop fretting.

You d*ed.

Who is that back there?

Another unfortunate soul.

Nothing you need to worry yourself about.

I feel much better.

Thank you.

I don't know what to do for you, Jude.

You've lost your credibility at Briarcliff.

I want to help you, but I don't know how.

You've got to help me get back into Briarcliff.

I don't know, Jude.

Look at me.

Don't I look different?

I'm not running anymore, and God had a plan for me all along:

to be a soldier in His army, but we're losing that w*r.

Did you know

The National Broadcasting Company is showing

Rudolph the Red-Nosed

Reindeer this very week?

Nothing about Christ, nothing about the nativity story.

This country's turn towards unadulterated blasphemy frightens me.

It worries me deeply, but that's how the Devil works.

Bit by bit, he turns our eyes away from God, but he can't have her!

No.

I will do what I can.

I promise, Jude.

Yes?

Thank you.

You have a visitor.

I can't remember the last time I was in a house of worship.

Why are you here?

You and I got off on the wrong foot right from the very beginning.

Perhaps it's because we're both such strong personalities.

But although our ideologies may differ, I believe our commitment to Briarcliff is equally matched.

What is this?

I think you must know how hard it was for me to come here, to turn to you, of all people.

I don't have time for the prologue.

Just say it!

You were right.

About Sister Mary Eunice.

She's in desperate trouble.

I had hoped to come up with a medical explanation for it, but... I can't.

She doesn't know I'm here.

You're afraid of her.

No.

No?

That's not it.

I have my work to do.

I can't be baby-sitting a deranged nun all day long.

That's what you came for?

A baby-sitter?

Yeah. Well, go to hell.

You were right about me, too.

I don't believe in God.

But I do believe in evil.

I've seen it... up-close and personal.

I have no doubt.

That's why her purity meant so much to me.

She had this... light in her.

The light's gone out.

Please - and that's not a word I use often-- I'm begging you, please help me.

I'm doing this for her, not you.

You must follow my every instruction.

No questions asked.

You swear to me?

I swear.
♪ O, holy night... ♪

There you go.

Thank you.

♪ The stars are brightly shining... ♪

...Merry Christmas.

I'd like to present you all with this star, this... beacon of Bethlehem.

It was hand-crafted for the Archdiocese of Boston.

I've decided that this year, it should hang on your tree.

Yes, please...

What a triumph.

You've renewed these halls, Sister.

Even your tree shows imagination and resourcefulness...

...filled with the very icons of their lives.

It reminds me of Marcel Duchamp and the school of found object art.

So clever and forward-thinking.

Just what's been missing.

Thank you, Monsignor.

I've had these ideas for a while.

Oh, and Leigh Emerson.

Mm.

I must confess, I was more than a little concerned with your instincts to offer him Christmas largesse.

Yes.

But look at him.

A renewed soul.

What do you say, we blow this pop stand, go savage a few elves and then suck on each other, hmm?

So, Arthur?

Monsignor.

There is a palpable spirit of love and joy in this room.

What say we put aside our... difficulties and celebrate this successful transition?

Our young

Sister Mary Eunice is quite a treasure, isn't she?

That she is, more than you can possibly imagine.

Frank, we need you up here, and, uh, bring the ladder.

I want to hang this star before the entertainment portion of our party.

We are watching Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer tonight.

Oh, what a treat.

Christmas
♪ Snow's coming down... ♪

Is it big?

Big enough to break my back.

Christmas
♪ Lots of leaves all around ♪
Christmas
♪ Baby, please come home... ♪

Hands off, woman.

I got a bun in that oven.

Really? I thought I was just eating too much pie.

Keep eating.

I want that kid to pop out fat and happy.

What if it's a girl?

But it's not.

Mm!

Mmm.

♪ They're singing deck the halls... ♪

But what if it is a girl?

Then I'll love her to the moon and back.

I just have a hunch.

I want to teach this kid baseball.

And football.

And how to change a tire.

What? I can't teach him.

Grace.

What's this about?

I'm so sorry, Grace.

I should have stayed gone.

If I hadn't come back...

Shh. Who cares about that?

Dance with me.

Kit...

Kit, can you hear me?

They're saying you escaped custody.

I heard on the radio there's a manhunt.

The police are still looking for you.

Oh, God.

If they don't know you're here, they don't know what happened to me, either.

No one is coming for either of us.

And he's still out there.

Grace?

No, Kit.

It's Lana.

I haven't seen Grace.

I don't know where she is.

Dead.

What?

Grace is dead.

We have to get you out of here.

We both have to get out of here.

They've got you doped up.

I just have to get to a telephone.

I need to call the police.

They're gonna fry me.

No. No one is going to fry you, Kit.

You're innocent, and I can prove it.

It was Thredson.

What?

He m*rder*d those women, not you.

He took me, Kit.

He showed me where he did it.

It was him.

That's why he got himself appointed to your case - to get you to confess to crimes that he committed.

Did he hurt you?

They need to know.

They have to get there before he does it again.

And before he destroys the evidence.

I have to get to the phone.

Lana...?

Are you really here?

I'm really here.

And I'm coming back.

You kept your word, Dr. Arden.

Where is Sister Mary Eunice now?

In the common room, hosting a Christmas party.

She should be stopped, for that reason alone.

You sure you don't need any help?

No. Only I can reach her.

I just need time.

Bring her to my office.

Lock the door.

And don't let anyone interrupt us.

Consider it done.

I never thought I would see it.

What's that?

The day you and I would work together.

Coming through.

Sister Mary Eunice, you really have stepped out from the shadow of Sister Jude, shining brighter than anyone could imagine.

Thank you, Monsignor.

Oh, if you could stay just a little bit longer, Frank is about to put your star on the tree.

Oh, no, Sister, like the mythical jolly old elf, I, too, have more than one visit on this festive night, but

I am happy and grateful to leave Briarcliff in your capable hands.

Okay, hand me the star.

Oh!

Get down!

Two steps forward, one step back.

Frank, you all right?

Yeah. I'm fine.

Can you take him to solitary?

I'd be glad to.

Get him up.

Turn him around.

All right.

Sister Mary Eunice, there's a pressing matter in your office that needs your attention.

Hope you're not planning on making a toll call.

Hey, Frankie, what about the outfit?

Sister's instructions were just to throw you back in your hole.

Do not open until the next Christmas after never.

Go rot in there, you bastard.

He give you any trouble?

No, Sister.

Oh...

I think he did.

Now...

how did this get in the building?

I pray we're not looking at a rampage.

What are you doing here?

I'm here to open my present.

I trust now my loyalty is no longer in question.

Ho, ho, ho.

Dr. Arden, open this door!

I'd put the lion's share of blame on that sexy Little Sister.

She really

doesn't like you.

What's this all about?

You left me in that hole to rot.

But you're out now.

Anything is possible.

Let me pray with you.

I think I'd rather tell you about my fantasies, like the one where I jam this gigantic crucifix up your ass, or the other one where I take my rotting teeth and my foul-breathed mouth and chomp down on your dried-up...

Help me! Please!

Oh, Sister, where's your sense of Christmas spirit?

I'm just beginning to feel the comfort and joy!

Help me!

Dear God, someone help me!

Anyone, help me!

Does this offend your delicate sensibilities?

Actually, I find it rather tedious.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have more pressing matters to take care of.

How did you find me?

Well, you were in a car accident, Lana.

The details were in all the papers.

"Escaped mental patient returned to ward."

You'll never get away with it, not as long as I have a voice.

Is that what you were doing on the phone?

You were going to call the police?

You know what I've been doing since you left me?

I've been mourning.

You made me k*ll Bloody Face.

I've been through every inch of my house with a toothbrush cleaning up-- no...

bone, no...

skin, no... drop of blood escaped my scrutiny, and the furnace has been burning red-hot, believe me.

You haven't made me disappear.

I'm a witness.

To the courts?

An unreliable one at best.

In fact, I was just gonna let you talk.

With no hard evidence, who do you think they'll believe, the doctor or the patient?

But then I thought about how you betrayed me.

I opened my heart to you, I told you my story, and you used it to confuse me.

You made me give you my intimacy, and that is a wrong that I need to make right.

You're insane.

Everyone is gonna be able to see that.

I've lost so much recently, I feel like

I've been set adrift in the open sea-- but now...

that you're here...

so close to me again, well...

I feel like I've been found.

Shh.

Do you believe in fate, Lana?

Hmm?

We've been drawn together like magnets, and I must admit

I didn't fully understand why until now.

But like the Phoenix, who had to turn to ashes...

Bloody Face had to burn so he could be born again.

And your skin...

will be the start of a whole new Bloody Face.

It's just you

and me, Sister.

God's off having schnapps with the nice Santa.

I'm not the enemy.

You're not the only enemy, you just happen to be the one I'm focusing on right now.

Whee!

I take that back.

Maybe God is here, and...

he's giving me a sign.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah...

My welts never healed.

No sunlight, no medicine, no bathing, and you never, ever checked on me!

Not once!

They're putrid now.

They're seeping pus.

Maybe I'll have you lick them after I'm done, huh?

Remember what you said? Huh?

We're going to soften you up

so God doesn't have to work so hard to enter you with His light.

Guess what?

There is no God.

But there is a Santa Claus.

We have to k*ll him.

Wait, wait, wait a second...

Wait a second...

stop it...

Stop!

You have to let me do this.

We need him.

He's the only thing standing between me and the electric chair.

Why is there still a manhunt?

Why haven't they turned you in?

Are we having fun yet?

Have you softened up enough to receive the light?

Except it won't be God...

and, actually, it won't be light.

Again!

This isn't going to work forever.

Look at the dust - it's a junk room.

They practically never come in here.

But you're right-- we'll have to think of something.

I'll finish.

Get back to the infirmary before they realize you're gone.

One day, I'll bury you.
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