01x04 - Magic b*llet

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Teen Wolf". Aired: June 2011 to September 2017.*

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A somewhat awkward teen is att*cked by a werewolf and inherits the curse itself, as well as the enemies that come with it.
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01x04 - Magic b*llet

Post by bunniefuu »

1x04 Magic b*llet

Radio: In other news, local authorities remain perplexed by the animal att*cks plaguing Beacon Hills.

Kate: Nice driving, Kate. Nice. No! No! No! Come on! Come on!

Allison: What's going on?

Chris: Your aunt Kate just texted. I'm heading out to pick her out.

Allison: But it's 2:00 in the morning. Is everything okay?

Chris: Yeah, yeah. She's just having a little car trouble.

Allison: Not serious, is it?

Chris: No, just a flat tire. Go - go back to bed, sweetheart.

Chris: Get in.

Kate: Not even "hello," "nice to see you"?

Chris: All I've got at the moment is "please put the as*ault r*fle away before someone notices."

Kate: That's the brother I love. Chris, there were two of 'em.

Chris: The Alpha?

Kate: I don't know, but one of them tried to k*ll me -

Chris: One of them is gonna lead us to the other. He can't do that if he's dead.

Kate: Well, I can't help k*ll either of them if one of them kills me first.

Chris: How long will it take?

Kate: Give him 48 hours - If that.

Kate: I don't see you for a year, and you turn into a fricken runway model?

Allison: Oh -

Kate: Look at you! Oh! Hate you.

Allison: I haven't even showered yet.

Kate: Sweetie, you're a knockout. In fact, I hope you have the boys knocking each other's teeth out for your attention.

Allison: I kind of have one.

Kate: You kind of have one? Well, you should kind of have a million.

Allison: Need some help unpacking?

Kate: No, not that one. Oh. See? You turn out beautiful, and I end up with this kung fu death grip. Sorry, sweetie. I didn't mean to be so rough.

Allison: No worries. Hey, is everything okay with your car?

Kate: Uh, yeah. I just needed a jumpstart, that's all.

Allison: A jumpstart?

Stiles: If Derek isn't the Alpha, if he's not the one who bit you, then who did?

Scott: I don't know.

Stiles: Did the Alpha k*ll the bus driver?

Scott: I don't know.

Stiles: Does Allison's dad know about the Alpha?

Scott: I don't know! Jeez.

Stiles: Dude, you need to study more. That was a joke. Scott, it's one test. You're gonna make it up. Do you want help studying?

Scott: No. I'm studying with Allison after school today.

Stiles: That's my boy.

Scott: We're just studying.

Stiles: Uh, no, you're not.

Scott: No, I'm not?

Stiles: Not if I'm forced to live vicariously through you. If you go to her house today and squander that colossal opportunity, I swear to God I'll have you de - balled.

Scott: Okay. Just - Stop with the questions, man.

Stiles: Done. No more questions. No more talk about the Alpha or Derek. Especially Derek - who still scares me.

Derek: Where's Scott McCall?

Jackson: Why should I tell you?

Derek: Because I asked you politely, and I only do that once.

Jackson: Hmm. Okay, tough guy. You know, how about I help you find him if you tell me what you're selling him? What is it? Is it, uh, Dianabol? Hmm? HGH?

Derek: Steroids.

Jackson: No, girl scout cookies. What the hell do you think I'm talking about? Oh, and, uh, by the way, whatever it is you're out selling, I'd probably stop sampling the merchandise. You look wrecked.

Derek: I'll find him myself.

Jackson: No, we're not done -

Phone: I'm finished with lacrosse practice at 5:00. I'll be over after that.

Lydia: Scott's coming over? Tonight?

Allison: We're just studying together.

Lydia: "Just studying" never ends with just studying. It's like - Getting into a hot tub - Somebody eventually cops a feel.

Allison: Well, so what are you saying?

Lydia: I'm just saying, you know, make sure he covers up. Hello, snow white! Do it with him with a condom.

Allison: Are you kidding? After one date?

Lydia: Don't be a total prude. Give him a little taste.

Allison: Well, I - I mean, how much is "a little taste"?

Lydia: Oh, God. You really like him, don't you?

Allison: Well - He's just different. When I first moved here, I had a plan - no boyfriends till college. I just move too much. But - Then I met him, and - He was different. I - I don't know. Can't explain it.

Lydia: I can. It's your brain flooding with phenylethylamine.

Allison: What?

Lydia: I'll tell you what to do. When's he coming over?

Allison: Right after school.

Lydia: Hmm.

Stiles: Oh, my God.

Scott: Oh, no no - no - no, not here!

Stiles: You've gotta be kidding me. This guy's everywhere -

Scott: What the hell?

Scott: What are you doing here?

Derek: I was sh*t.

Stiles: He's not looking so good, dude.

Scott: Why aren't you healing?

Derek: I can't. It was - it was a different kind of b*llet.

Stiles: A silver b*llet?

Derek: No, you idiot.

Scott: Wait, wait. That's what she meant when she said you had 48 hours.

Derek: What? Who - who said 48 hours?

Scott: The one who sh*t you. What are you doing? Stop that!

Derek: I'm trying to tell you, I can't!

Scott: Derek, get up!

Scott: Help me to put him in your car.

Derek: I need you to find out what kind of b*llet they used.

Scott: How the hell am I supposed to do that?

Derek: 'Cause she's an Argent. She's with them.

Scott: Why should I help you?

Derek: Because you need me.

Scott: Fine. I'll try. Hey get him out of here.

Stiles: I hate you for this so much.

Allison: Hey. What was he doing here?

Scott: Stiles was just, um, giving him a ride. Uh, long story.

Allison: But I thought you said you weren't friends with him.

Scott: No, not really. Um, we're still studying together, right? So I'll meet you back at your place?

Allison: Yeah.

Scott: Okay, bye.

Allison: See you later.

Allison: How did you - You got here at the same time I did.

Scott: Oh. Yeah, I—I - I just took a shortcut. Really short shortcut.

Allison: What is going on with you today? You're acting all kinds of bizarre.

Scott: I'm just - stressing about classes. I'm not doing as good this year.

Allison: Not doing as well.

Scott: See? Exactly.

Allison: Maybe we should start with English? Don't worry! Nobody's gonna be home for hours. Come on.

Scott: Okay.

Allison: I'm still unpacking.

Scott: Uh - Haven't you been here for, like, over a month?

Allison: I'm taking my time.

Scott: Hey, um - So, uh, I figure that we - Start with, um, history -

Allison: What's wrong?

Scott: Nothing. I just - I—I - Don't wanna make you feel like you have to do something you don't wanna do.

Allison: I'm not doing anything I don't wanna do. Are you?

Scott: Seriously asking me that question?

Allison: Are you gonna answer that?

Scott: Um, uh, it's probably just Stiles. It'll go to voice mail. Eventually. Wait! Um - Uh, yeah, I should answer it now.

Stiles: Hey, try not to bleed out on my seats, okay? We're almost there.

Derek: Almost where?

Stiles: Your house.

Derek: What? No, you can't take me there.

Stiles: I can't take you to your own house?

Derek: Not when I can't protect myself.

Stiles: All right. What happens if Scott doesn't find your little magic b*llet? Hmm? Are you dying?

Derek: Not yet. I have a last resort.

Stiles: What do you mean? What last resort? Oh, my God. What is that? Oh, is that contagious? You know what, you should probably just get out.

Derek: Start the car. Now.

Stiles: I don't think you should be barking orders with the way you look, okay? In fact, I think if I wanted to, I could probably drag your little werewolf ass out into the middle of the road and leave you for dead.

Derek: Start the car, or I'm gonna rip your throat out - With my teeth.

Scott: It's off. Sorry about that. Who's this?

Allison: That's my dad's sister Kate, except she's more like my sister. She got here last night.

Scott: Uh, last night?

Allison: Yup. She had some car trouble, I guess.

Scott: She looks familiar.

Allison: Mm. She actually used to live in Beacon Hills. Maybe you saw her once.

Scott: Did you take these?

Allison: Back when I thought I was a photographer.

Scott: They're good.

Allison: No, they're not. I stopped when I realized I was terrible at it. Framing's off, bad lighting - Believe me, not good. That was when I thought I was good at painting. Uh, terrible too. That's when I tried poetry. "Terrible" doesn't even come close to describing that.

Scott: What are you good at?

Allison: I'm gonna show you if you promise not to laugh. So I was nationally ranked as a kid, and my dad really wanted me to go on, but I don't know. I just didn't really like it. Promise you won't laugh?

Scott: I promise. What the hell is that?

Allison: It's a compound bow, and I'm pretty sure it requires an arrow to be harmful.

Scott: So that's what you're good at. Archery.

Allison: You said you wouldn't laugh.

Scott: Trust me, I'm - Not laughing.

Allison: So I guess I should explain. We're not some sort of separatist g*n - nut family. My dad sells firearms to law enforcement.

Scott: Oh, that's good. So, um - Are you planning on joining the family business?

Allison: I don't know. You tell me. Would I look hot with a g*n?

Scott: Hotter without.

Kate: Hey, Chris! Get your ass out of the '50s and come help with the groceries.

Chris: Be right there! Kids, you mind helping?

Allison: Sure.

Scott: No problem.

Chris: Great.

Chris: Thank you.

Scott: So do you still wanna study?

Chris: I think she'll concentrate better on her own.

Scott: Guess I'll see you later then?

Chris: At school.

Scott: Right.

Allison: Scott.

Chris: Eh, eh, you, on your bike, you inside.

Kate: Oh, come on, Chris. Really? They were making out in the garage, not sh**ting amateur p*rn. You, with the adorable brown eyes, drop your bike. You're staying for dinner.

Chris: Do you eat meat?

Scott: You don't mind?

Chris: Actually, no. Give us a chance to get to know each other.

Victoria: Would you like something to drink besides water, Scott?

Scott: Oh - No, I'm good. Thanks.

Chris: We can get you some beer?

Scott: N - no, thanks.

Chris: sh*t of Tequila?

Allison: Dad. Really?

Chris: You don't drink, Scott?

Scott: I'm not old enough to.

Victoria: That doesn't seem to stop many teenagers.

Scott: No, but it should.

Kate: Good answer. Total lie, but well played, Scott. You may yet survive the night.

Chris: You ever smoke pot?

Kate: Okay, changing the channel to something a little less conservative. So, Scott, uh - Allison tells us you're on the lacrosse team. I'm sorry. I don't know anything about that. How do you play?

Scott: Um, well, you know hockey? It's a lot like that, only, um, played on grass instead of ice.

Chris: Hockey on grass - Is called field hockey.

Scott: Oh. Yeah.

Allison: So it's like field hockey, except the sticks have nets.

Scott: Exactly.

Kate: And can you slap check like in hockey?

Scott: Um - Yeah. But it's only the, uh, the gloves and the sticks.

Kate: Sounds violent. I like it.

Allison: Scott's amazing too. Dad came with me to the first game. Wasn't he good?

Chris: He was fine.

Allison: He scored the last sh*t, the winning sh*t.

Chris: True, but he didn't score at all until the last few minutes.

Allison: His last sh*t ripped a hole through the goalie's net. It was incredible.

Chris: Well, I think the goalie was probably playing with a defective stick, so -

Scott: You know, on second thought, um, I think I'll take that sh*t of Tequila.

Chris: You were kidding, right?

Scott: Yeah.
Stiles: What am I supposed to do with him?

Scott: Take him somewhere, anywhere.

Stiles: And, by the way, he's starting to smell.

Scott: Like - like what?

Stiles: Like death.

Scott: Okay, take him to the animal clinic.

Stiles: What about your boss?

Scott: He's gone by now. There's a spare key in the box behind the dumpster.

Stiles: You're not gonna believe where he's telling me to take you.

Derek: Did you find it?

Scott: How am I supposed to find one b*llet? They have a million. This house is like - the fricken Walmart of g*ns.

Derek: Look, if you don't find it, then I'm dead, all right?

Scott: I'm starting to think that wouldn't be such a bad thing.

Derek: Then think about this. The Alpha called you out against your will. He's gonna do it again. Next time you either k*ll with him or you get k*lled. So if you wanna stay alive, then you need me. Find the b*llet.

Kate: You look like a little lost puppy.

Scott: Just looking for the bathroom.

Kate: Bathroom? Does that look like a bathroom?

Scott: No.

Kate: No. Use the guest bedroom.

Scott: Okay.Thanks.

Stiles: Does Northern blue monkshood mean anything to you?

Derek: It's a rare form of wolfsbane. He has to bring me the b*llet.

Stiles: Why?

Derek: 'Cause I'm gonna die without it.

Scott: Hey, um, I should get going. Um, thanks for dinner.

Kate: Oh, no, no, no, no, no. You have to stay for dessert. I wanna know more about you. Sit down.

Scott: Okay.

Victoria: Allison was just telling us that you work for a veterinarian.

Allison: I told them how you put the cast on the dog I hit.

Scott: Yeah.

Chris: What does your boss think of the animal att*cks? Any theories?

Scott: Everyone was just saying it's a mountain lion.

Kate: It'd have to be a pretty large mountain lion.

Victoria: What do you think, Scott?

Scott: I don't know. We usually get cats and dogs at the vet. Nothing that vicious.

Chris: Never had to deal with a rabid dog? Oh. I grew up with a lot of dogs. I saw one get rabies from a bat. It was transferred through the bite. You know, people think that a rabid dog just suddenly goes mad. It's a lot more gradual. First stage is subtle changes in behavior - They're restless, morose. It's the second stage that people know - the furious phase. That's when they att*ck. And we're talking any moving object. Did you know that a caged rabid dog will break its own teeth, trying to chew through the bars? It'll even rear back and snap its own spine. Can you imagine the amount of force it would take to do that? It's a complete character reversal. This harmless animal - Turned into a perfectly vicious k*ller. And it all started with that one bite.

Allison: But it d*ed, didn't it?

Victoria: Yes, because your grandfather sh*t it.

Allison: Because he wanted to put it out of its misery.

Chris: Because it was too dangerous. Something that out of control is better off dead.

Stiles: Okay. You know, that really doesn't look like anything some echinacea and a good night of sleep couldn't take care of.

Derek: When the infection reaches my heart, it'll k*ll me.

Stiles: "Positivity" just isn't in your vocabulary, is it?

Derek: If he doesn't get here with the b*llet in time - Last resort.

Stiles: Which is?

Derek: You're gonna cut off my arm.

Allison: I'm so incredibly sorry.

Scott: For what?

Allison: For that being the worst, most horribly awkward dinner ever in the history of horribly awkward dinners.

Scott: No. Uh, it wasn't the worst. There was this one dinner where my parents told me they were getting a divorce. This comes in at a close second. Your dad's watching.

Allison: Good.

Kate: Wait a second, guys.

Allison: What is it?

Kate: Uh, I have to ask Scott something.

Scott: Me?

Kate: Yeah, you.

Scott: Okay.

Kate: Uh. What'd you take from my bag?

Scott: What?

Kate: My bag. What'd you take from it? Do you need me to repeat the question, maybe enunciate more clearly?

Chris: What are you talking about?

Kate: My bag was open in the guest room, and when I left it was shut. And Scott comes in to use the bathroom, he leaves, my bag's open.

Allison: He didn't take -

Kate: Something was taken from my bag. Now, look - I hate to be the accuser here, Scott, because I really do love those adorable brown eyes, but I don't know if you're a klepto, if you're curious, or - or if you're just stupid. But answer the question. What did you take?

Scott: Nothing. I swear.

Kate: You don't mind proving it, do you?

Allison: Are you serious?

Kate: How about you show us what's in your pockets?

Allison: Dad?

Kate: Come on, Scott. Prove me wrong.

Allison: Uh, I'll prove you wrong. Uh, it wasn't Scott going through your bags. It was me.

Kate: You?

Allison: Mm - hmm, me.

Stiles: Oh, my God. What if you bleed to death?

Derek: It'll heal if it works.

Stiles: Ugh. Look - I don't know if I can do this.

Derek: Why not?

Stiles: Well, because of the cutting through the flesh, the sawing of the bone, and especially the blood!

Derek: You faint at the sight of blood?

Stiles: No, but I might at the sight of a chopped - off arm!

Derek: All right, fine. How about this? Either you cut off my arm, or I'm gonna cut off your head.

Stiles: Okay, you know what, I'm so not buying your threats any - Oh, my God. Okay. All right, bought, sold. Totally. I'll do it. I'll do it. What? What are you doing? Holy God, what the hell is that?

Derek: It's my body - Trying to heal itself.

Stiles: Well, it's not doing a very good job of it.

Derek: Now. You gotta do it now.

Stiles: Look, honestly, I don't think I can.

Derek: Just do it!

Stiles: Oh, my God. Okay, okay. Oh, my God. All right, here we go!

Scott: Stiles!

Stiles: Scott?

Scott: What the hell are you doing?

Stiles: Oh, you just prevented a lifetime of nightmares.

Derek: Did you get it?

Stiles: What are you gonna do with it?

Derek: I'm gonna - I'm gonna -

Scott: No. No, no, no, no.

Stiles: Derek. Derek, come on, wake up. Scott, what the hell are we gonna do?

Scott: I don't know! I can't reach it.

Stiles: He's not waking up!

Scott: Come on.

Stiles: I think he's dying. I think he's dead!

Scott: Just hold on! Come on. Oh! I got it! I got it!

Stiles: Please don't k*ll me for this. Ugh! Ow! God!

Derek: Give me -

Scott: Up!

Stiles: Ow! God -

Stiles: That - Was - Awesome! Yes!

Scott: Are you okay?

Derek: Well, except for the agonizing pain.

Stiles: I'm guessing the ability to use sarcasm is a good sign of health.

Scott: Okay, we saved your life, which means you're gonna leave us alone, you got that? And if you don't, I'm gonna go back to Allison's dad, and I'm gonna tell him everything -

Derek: You're gonna trust them? You think they can help you?

Scott: Well, why not? They're a lot freaking nicer than you are.

Derek: I can show you exactly how nice they are.

Scott: What do you mean?

Scott: What are we doing here?

Scott: Who is he?

Derek: My uncle. Peter Hale.

Scott: Is he - like you, a werewolf?

Derek: He was. Now he's barely even human. Six years ago, my sister and I were at school, and our house caught fire. 11 people were trapped inside. He was the only survivor.

Scott: So - What makes you so sure that they set the fire?

Derek: 'Cause they're the only ones that knew about us.

Scott: Well, then - They had a reason.

Derek: Like what? You tell me what justifies this. They say they'll only k*ll an adult, and only with absolute proof, but there were people in my family that were perfectly ordinary in that fire. This is what they do. And it's what Allison will do.

Nurse: What are you doing? How did you get in here?

Derek: We were just leaving.

Allison: Hey. Um - I just thought maybe I'd catch you before you went to sleep, but, uh - I wanted to say sorry again for tonight. So - Call me.

Kate: The one that att*cked me was big. It had width and power. But the one I sh*t was lean and fast.

Chris: Well, that would be Derek Hale.

Kate: Are we sure?

Chris: Mostly.

Kate: Well, how do we know it's just two of 'em?

Chris: We don't yet. But if Derek's still alive, he will lead us to the Alpha.

Kate: Take the pack leader, and take the pack.

Chris: And we do it according to the code.

Kate: You and the code.

Chris: It's there for a reason, Kate.

Kate: Of course. I always play by the rules.
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