02x20 - The Evil Queen

SCENE: Storybrooke Clock Tower. Present. Night. Tamara and Greg Mendell are present, along with Hook, at the moment in a sack.

Hook: Actually, I prefer it with the lights on. (Greg and Tamara remove the bag.) I've spent enough time below deck to not be afraid of the dark, so if this is your idea of torture, well you're just gonna have to try a little harder.

Greg: Torture you? No, we just want to offer you a job.

Hook: Oh. And then you're gonna let me go? (He laughs) Oh, I'm sorry, I already did that last job. I killed Rumplestiltskin. I'm sated. Replete. My life's purpose met.

Tamara: I wish I could have been there, to see you stab the Dark One.

Hook: Well, look who's up to speed.

Tamara: I'm a quick learner.

Hook: Then you know my work is done!

Greg: Yeah, I don't think so. Take a look. (He and Tamara push the chair Hook is tied to over to the window, and hand him a telescope. Through it, Hook can clearly see Mr. Gold walking with Lacey).

Hook: No. No!

Tamara: He's alive, Hook.

Greg: He beat you. Now this guy has some powerful magic here, mate. He's untouchable. You'll never get another chance to take him down.

Hook: Oh, I will. I will indeed.

Tamara: Not unless we help you.

Hook: How can you help me?

Tamara: We know how to kill magical creatures.

Hook: And the price?

Greg: I need you to help me find someone. My father. He was taken in this town a long time ago.

Hook: Why the bloody hell do you think I'll be able to help you find your father?

Greg: Because you know the woman who took him-- Regina. Do we have a deal?

SCENE: The Enchanted Forest. Past. Queen Regina and two of her knights, Berkley and Rivers enter a barn.

Berkley: It's empty, Your Majesty,

Queen Regina: Thank you, Berkley. I can see that. Snow White was hiding here, and now she's gone. Someone must have tipped her off and she ran. Fan out and bring me the villagers! (Scene shifts to the Queen standing in front of the people of the village.) Snow White has betrayed you. She poisoned her own father—my dear husband, your benevolent King—so she can try to ascend the throne herself. She even now stalks the outer villages! Bandit, murderer, and traitor. Information leading to Snow's capture will be richly rewarded. (Silence.) No one? Not one of you wants gold? No? You're telling me she lived here, and not one of you saw her?! (Turns to Berkley.)

Berkley: What shall we do now, Your Majesty?

Queen Regina: Kill them all. No mercy. Find me Snow White.

SCENE: Storybrooke Harbor. Present. Night. David Nolan and Mary Margaret Blanchard are talking while, unbeknownst to them, a fisherman listens in.

Mary Margaret: If, we're going back to the Enchanted Forest, are we really going to leave Regina behind?

David: She's too dangerous to bring with us. We have to leave her.

Mary Margaret: But... Henry won't like it. She is his mother, despite all the horrors.

David: Mary Margaret, those horrors will continue. Do you wanna give her another chance, because every time we do, she--

Mary Margaret: She slips, I know. What do we do?

David: Instead of a second chance, we give her a choice—come back, live out her days in Rumple's cell, or stay here. (The fisherman who has been listening in is engulfed in magic smoke, revealing to be Regina in disguise.)

Regina: Jail cell? I don't think so.

SCENE: The Enchanted Forest. Past. The Dark Palace. Queen Regina enters the parlor, where Rumplestiltskin is waiting for her.

Queen Regina: Rumplestiltskin!

Rumplestiltskin: Well, it seems you've taken to power quite well. Gives your cheeks a nice rosy color.

Queen Regina: I don't understand them. I offer these peasants a fortune, and they still protect Snow White! Why are they loyal to her and not me? I am their Queen!

Rumplestiltskin: You did just slaughter an entire village. Maybe that's why they call you the "Evil Queen"!

Queen Regina: I am not evil. They call me that because of her! She's the evil one!

Rumplestiltskin: They're her people, dearie. You're gonna have to be content with the fear. They'll never love you.

Queen Regina: They will. When she is gone, when Snow is dead, then they will see my kindness.

Rumplestiltskin: Through the charred remains of their homes. I'm sure that will be perfectly clear.

Queen Regina: Well, in time it will be. Her death will allow it. And I'm going to find her. Apparently I have to do it myself.

Rumplestiltskin: Well, in that outfit, finding her should be easy.

Queen Regina: (Gasps) Teach me my mother's shape-shifting spell. Allow me to hide.

Rumplestiltskin: It took your mother months to learn that. You? Well, in a week, you'll be able to, uh, change your hair? Highlights? Maybe.

Queen Regina: If I can't do the spell, you can. Put it on me.

Rumplestiltskin: If I do, you won't control it. And you won't have any magic while the spell is working.

Queen Regina: I won't need magic. Just as long as I can get close enough to snap her neck with my bare hands.

Rumplestiltskin: I can see you're determined. An when the deed is done, call upon me. Only I can return you to your regal self.

Queen Regina: Hold on. What's the price?

Rumplestiltskin: Boring matter of state. I need you to cut off all trade with King George's realm.

Queen Regina: King George? Why?

Rumplestiltskin: I need him to bankrupt! What's it to you?

Queen Regina: Fine. Fine! Just do it. Time is of the essence. (In a cloud of purple smoke, Rumplestiltskin transforms the Queen into a peasant woman, complete with the rags.) I don't feel any different, other than these ghastly rags. (Rumplestiltskin leads her over to her mirror.)

Rumplestiltskin: This is what the world will see.

Queen Regina: (Regina looks in the mirror and sees that she looks completely different) Excellent! I'm about as regal as a potato.

Rumplestiltskin: Careful, dearie. A Queen strutting amongst peasants might not like what she hears.

Queen Regina: Won't matter. When I'm done, they'll be singing my praises over her smoldering, villainous remains.

SCENE: Storybrooke. Present. Morning. Regina enters and walks up to Henry, who is working on a bird feeder.

Regina: Good morning, Henry.

Henry: Um, what are you doing here?

Regina: I've missed you. And I wanted to show you something. (She takes a magic bean out from her pocket.) Emma and Mary Margaret and David have been keeping this from you, darling. They've been growing magic beans in secret. They want to take you to the Enchanted Forest, without me.

Henry: Maybe we're all going and they just haven't told you yet?

Regina: No, they won't let me help. They don't see the good in me. The good you've seen. All they see is the Evil Queen, which they made me. And I don't want to be that any more. This is my chance to go back and start over, for me to be the hero. And you'd like that, right?

Henry: I--I'd love it.

Regina: Here's how it will work—there's a fail-safe built into the curse, a trigger.

Henry: Like a self-destruct button. Like you never did it?

Regina: Yes. It's the next best thing to turning back time.

Henry: That's amazing. What happens to Storybrooke?

Regina: It disappears. Forever. But no need to worry, dear. We can get away first, back to the Enchanted Forest, using this.

Henry: But, what about everyone else?

Regina: They die.

Henry: What?!

Regina: I don't have any other choice. As long as there are other people in our lives, you can never fully be mine. You loved me once. With them gone, you'll love me again. And you can see me for what I truly am—a hero.

Henry: Not if you kill everyone. You're a villain!

Regina: Me? They're the ones that have been keeping us apart, they're the villains!

Henry: How I can I ever love anyone who would do such horrible things? Why would you even tell me this?

Regina: Because I don't have anyone else to talk to.

Henry: Well I'm gonna stop you.

Regina: Everything I just said will come to pass. (Regina takes her spell book out of her bag)

Henry: Never! Why would I let you do any of this?

Regina: Because you won't remember a thing. (She casts a spell on Henry, causing him to forget everything Regina just told him)

Henry: Mom. What are you doing here?

Regina: (laughs and shrugs) Just came to say hello. I've missed you. Why don't you show me that bird feeder. (Henry walks over to his feeder and opens the lid) I'm sure it will make the birds very happy.

SCENE: The Enchanted Forest. Queen Regina, now disguised, is walking through a trader's market. She comes to a booth where a man is advertising a game that allows citizens to throw darts at a model of the queen.

Carny: Step right up folks, step right up. Try your luck folks, try your luck. Here we go. Come on now, don't be shy!

Queen Regina: That—that's the Queen.

Carny: It's the evilQueen! Step right up and sink an arrow into her heart.

Queen Regina: That's not right.

Carny: Well it's fixed actually, you can't hit the queen in the heart. Because she ain't got one! (Bystanders laugh)

Peasant Boy: (Getting ready to through an arrow) Kill the evil queen! (Throws the arrow, which lands in the models heart.)

Queen Regina: How could you do that? She's your queen!

Peasant Boy: Snow White should be our queen.

Queen Regina: Snow White is a bandit. A murderer and a menace. (People in the crowd shake their heads)

Carny: Lies. The Queen's evil.

Queen Regina: And you don't know her.

Peasant Boy: Thank my luck stars for that. Let's burn her! (The crowd cheers)

Queen Regina: No! No! This is treason. I won't stand for it! (She jumps onto the stage and grabs the flaming torch from the peasant boy)

Royal Guard: (whistles) Away! Move it!

Queen Regina: It's about time! Where were you?

Berkley: You do this?

Queen Regina: Of course not, I was trying to stop it.

Berkley: Is that what it looks like to you?

Rivers: It looks to me like some dirty slag is defacing an effigy of our Queen! Well fair play to you, miss! It looks just like her. (Berkley laughs)

Queen Regina: How dare you? I'll have your head for that, Rivers.

Berkley: She knows your name! How dare you address a knight of the Queen's guard thusly?

Queen Regina: I know your name you idiots, because I am the Queen. (she removes her shawl. She attempts to use magic, but finds that she can't. The knights laugh and grab hold of her) I am the queen! I can prove it! Let go of me, Berkley!

SCENE: Storybrooke. Present. Regina is in her office studying the beans that she stole from the bean fields. She hears the door open, and she goes to look who entered her office--Hook.

Regina: Captain! You look like you've had a rough time.

Hook: Indeed I have. I've come to ask you for your protection.

Regina: From Gold? I'm surprised you'd show your face in this town after you noticed your murder didn't take.

Hook: Well we've got bigger problems. That man Greg Mendell, the one who hit me the night I shot Belle, well he's in league with some woman. She abducted me in New York and dragged me back to Mendell. They want me to make an alliance with you, and then betray you. That's why they let me go. Well I say that you and I make an alliance, and we'll skip the unpleasant betrayal business.

Regina: Why should I trust you?

Hook: I took up with your mother for a reason. Perhaps the three of us could reestablish in our alliance.

Regina: My mother died.

Hook: That is sad news indeed. I'm sorry, she will be missed. But I tell you this, Regina. I knew her well enough to know what she wanted most in the world was to see you win. Now I failed in my revenge. The best tribute I could give her is to help you with yours.

Regina: Let me show you something.

Hook: An escape plan? Oh, she would have loved that. She brought that giant for the beans so she could go back and start over with you.

Regina: And now I'm going to do that with Henry. If you'll help me. This is how we're going to escape the total destruction of Storybrooke. If I can trust you.

Hook: Now when you say total destruction, including the crocodile, yes?

Regina: Oh, yes. Rumplestiltskin will die. If you help me.

SCENE: Storybrooke. Present. Granny's Diner. A waitress is handing Tamara a to go bag for Neal.

Waitress: Here you go.

Tamara: No mayo, right?

Waitress: Right. (Tamara is about to leave when she crashes into Emma.)

Emma: Ohh! I'm so sorry. I'm - He still hates mayo, huh? (While helping Tamara pick up her things, she finds a list with the names of nearly everyone in town and their respective Storybrooke counterparts.)

Tamara: Avoids it like the plague. (Takes the list and puts it in her purse.)

Emma: How are you doing here in Storybrooke? I mean, it's a lot to take in.

Tamara: Understatement. (Both women laugh) But, uh, I guess you know that better than anyone.

Emma: Yeah, I guess it's true. But I had Henry. He got me through it.

Tamara: Yeah. Right. Neal's doing the same for me.

Emma: Even so, it's pretty crazy here. If the world found out about this place, do you know what that would mean for Henry or Neal?

Tamara: Look, Emma, you don't have to worry. You can trust me.

Emma: That's good to know.

Tamara: I'll be seeing you later.

Emma: Yeah, I'll be seeing you.(Tamara exits.)

SCENE: Storybrooke. Present. Mary Margaret's Apartment. Emma is talking, somewhat loudly, to Mary Margaret about what happened at the diner.

Emma: I'm telling you, Tamara is the "she" August was trying to warn us about.

Mary Margaret: Emma! Shh!

Emma: What? Don't "Emma" me!

Mary Margaret: (Lowered voice) Henry is upstairs. Look, I know this has been hard for you.

Emma: No. This isn't about me. This is about August. He died trying to warn us about someone. A woman. "She". Tamara has a list of people who live here, what their fairytale names are. Doesn't that worry you?

Mary Margaret: There could be a million different explanations for what you saw.

Emma: We don't know anything about her. And she lied to me. When she said I could trust her, she lied.

Mary Margaret: Your "superpower" has been known to be unreliable, Emma. Especially when you're emotional.

Emma: For the last time, I do not have feelings for Neal! That was over a decade ago! I'm over it!

Mary Margaret: Well, that may be. But if you tell Henry that you think his dad's fiancée may be up to something, then Henry's gonna think that there's a chance his parents could get back together. So keep it to yourself. Please. Till you know something more. (She exits. Emma then turns around to find Henry standing right in front of her.)

Henry: So... we're back in business? I heard everything.

Emma: (Shocked.) I thought you were in the shower.

Henry: Exactly. Operation Cobra's back on. We're investigating Tamara, right?

Emma: Get your coat...

SCENE: Storybrooke. Present. Storybrooke Library. Hook and Regina enter and walk over to the elevator.

Hook: This why it's a two-man job? You need me to lower you?

Regina: No. Used to be... before magic. (She magically operates the elevator and she and Hook enter.)


(Gears clicking)

(Metal creaking)

(Metal clanks)


(Gears clicking)

I... I hired you a year ago, despite your drunkenness!

And you! You... uhh!

(Chickens cluck)

I had you flogged last spring for lateness!

How would I know that?

I'm not liking her any better.

Let's cut off her head.



(Arrow whooshes)


Aah! Aah!

(Blade zings)

Uhh! Aah!


(Swords clank)


(Regina) Aah!






(Clenched teeth) Snow.


(Crowd gasps)

(Crowd murmuring)

(Elevator whirs, clanks)

You ever wonder if this constant pursuit for revenge is the reason we have no one who cares for us?

I mean, when all this is over, and I know the Crocodile is dead, for good and all, I'll have nothing to look forward to.

My life will be empty.

Revenge may sate your being, but don't misunderstand me, my dear.

It's an end, not a beginning.

For you, maybe. Not me.

I have Henry.

And destroying Storybrooke?

Well... that seems like a small price to pay to allow us to live in peace.

(Water dripping)

Where did you get that?

It belonged to my mother.


Well, she enchanted it so I could climb the beanstalk in our world.

She, uh...

I don't care why she gave it to you.

It was hers, and I want it back.

You plan to blow this town off the map, and you're worried about a scrap of cowhide?

She was my mother.

Well, she was my friend.



(Inhales deeply)

Now follow me closely.


You couldn't have just hid the trigger in the back of your wardrobe?

(Chuckles) It had to be both well-hidden and well-guarded.

I put it somewhere no one would ever think I'd go.

You know, you say well-guarded...

Who's guarding it?

A friend.

She's been through a lot.

There's a powerful spell here that sustains her in... whatever form she's in.

In fact, Hook, she's the reason why this is a man job.

And what exactly am I here to do?

I'll get the trigger.

And you?

Well... you're the distraction.



Uhh! Uhh!

(Pants and groans)

(Whooshing and wind howling)




Love you in earth tones.



(Blade zings)








(Glass shatters)

(Birds chirping)

(Gasps) Don't move.

(Whispers) You need to lie still.

You have a fever.

Dirty blade'll do that. Ooh.

Snow White.

What's your name, honey?

(Inhales deeply)


My family works in the mills.

Nice to meet you, Wilma.

You're going to live, by the way.

How long...


How long till I can get up?

Two days?

Picked a good place for it, though.

Fresh water, healing herbs, some not-bad hunting if you don't mind killing the royal livestock, which I don't.

You don't know how to do that.

Oh, I... I... I mean, um... you were a princess.

Someone from another forest taught me.

It's a long story.

(Utensil clatters)

There are people hunting for you.

It's dangerous for you to be here.

Why are you helping a perfect stranger?

I'm going to bathe your wound, but it's going to hurt.

So... just listen to me.


It's easier if you're distracted.


When I was younger,

the horse I was riding ran away with me.

I was about to be thrown. I would've been killed.

(Inhales sharply)

This woman... she had no idea who I was.

She came charging in after me.

(Inhales sharply)

She saved me.

She risked her own life.

It changed me.

My mother always told me to keep goodness in my heart, and this woman proved that she was right.

(Inhales sharply) You okay?

I'm good. I'm listening.

It... it changed you?

(Whispers) Yes.

It taught me that there can be this genuine, selfless connection between people, even strangers.

There. I'm done.

What happened to her?

The stranger?

She's gone.

Oh, but I hope she comes back someday.

Operation Cobra was about breaking the curse.

This is about keeping Storybrooke secret.

We need a new name.

Operation Tiger.


I need a why? You never need a why.

I want something like the town, something that hides in plain sight.

Something like a praying mantis.

(Door bells jingle in distance)

Oh! Duck.

Oh. No, it's not them.

Stakeouts are fun.

(Mouth full) - Not usually.

But this one? Yeah, kinda.

I thought by now we'd be having adventures.

Over there, you know?

Riding horses, shooting bow and arrows.

This is cool, too.

Is that still something you want?

I mean, if there was a way to... go back to the enchanted forest?

Is there?

No, don't be crazy.

There is.

A way back.

The... a bean or something.

The giant brought it, didn't he?

You are a smart kid.

That's awesome!

We could get, like, a castle... you, me, and Neal.

Oh, hey, whoa.

No way. That... we're not... that's not...


Operation Praying Mantis is on.

(Metal clinks)

(Lowered voice)

Hang on. I almost got it.

So once we find proof that Tamara's evil, I guess the wedding's off?

Henry... Neal and I are not getting back together.

You know that, right?

I mean, once he's single, it could happen.

Thrown together, moonlight, wine...

Listen to me, Henry.

I am onto Tamara for other reasons, not because she's with Neal, okay?

(Whispers) Go. Go, go, go.

(Lock clicks)

(Whispers) Ah! Yes!

(Door creaks)

Unh-unh! Unh-unh!

You gotta be the lookout.

But... but what do I do? Whistle?

No, that's too obvious.

You gotta hit the door.

You know, like, just like... (Thumps door) like, kick it like you're bored.

Like... (Kicks door twice) Or, like, stumble into it.

(Thumps door)

Like, oh, I'm... you know?

Just hit the door, okay?

Hit the door.


Got it. Now go.

(Doors creak)

(Hangers clatter)

(Floorboard creaks)





Hey, Henry.

(Thumps door)


(Henry mutters)

(Thumps door) Uh...

Oh, hell no. I taught her that.




(Door creaks)

So you weren't here, and the door was open, and we just...


Emma, what's... what's this about?

Tamara. I think she's playing you.

She's playing me? How?

I think she's the "she" August was trying to warn us about.

I didn't wanna tell you until I had proof.

Oh. (Chuckles)

Okay, yeah.

Well, as long as you broke into our room to spare my feelings...

Are you out of your mind?

He warned us about a woman.

Yeah, which covers half the world.

You roped the kid into this?

She lied to me. Remember I had that thing with lies?

You thought you had a thing with lies. I never bought it.

Yeah, you did.

Listen to me, Neal.

She's got a list of fairy tale characters and who they are... whoever she's gonna give that to that could blow this whole town right open.

Emma, I helped her make that list.

It was to help her come to grips with this place.

It's not easy, you know?

I mean, she's trying to deal with it for me.

Okay, I know what this looks like, but it isn't that.

Do I look like a jealous ex?

Okay, maybe I'm crazy. But let's find out.

There's a floorboard loose.

It shouldn't be.

So let's look under it.

If there's nothing there, fine. I back off.

Okay. Yeah, sure. What the hell?

(Clears throat)

A little help?

Oh. Right.


(Clears throat)


(Inhales deeply)


I know Tamara being here is a little awkward...


Henry, let's go.

(Liquid trickling, steam hissing)

(Regina groans)


Morning already?


We have one every day.

Well, you look better.

I think you slept off the last of it.

Yeah, I think I did.

Mm. You don't waste any time.

Oh. Noises in the woods. Maybe a patrol.

We stayed too long.

(Sword clatters)

You're arming me?

Well, just in case. Her soldiers are ruthless. Stay behind me.

(Crow cawing)

(Blade zings softly)

(Whooshes softly)

If the stories are to be believed, the Queen sent the huntsman to tear your heart out.

She did.

How horrible.

If you had her in front of you now... would you kill her for that?

Regina wants to hurt people.

I think she's in constant pain and is always looking to figure out whom to blame for it.

We lived in the same household, and still, she could never see that I was on her side.

She wanted revenge more than she wanted love.

And I can't imagine living that way.

I want to be guided by love.

So, no, I wouldn't kill her.

No one's that generous.

People aren't that good.

Oh, I think they are... even her.

She's just afraid to look vulnerable.

You... you believe there's good inside there?

I know there is.

I've seen it.

I wish she'd give herself a chance to be that person again.

You don't think it's too late for her?

Oh, I don't think it's too late for anyone.

So if she... if she wanted to change, if she wanted to be a family again, if she... wanted to be good, would you forgive her for that?

Would you let her back in?

If she really meant it, yes.

I would love that.

I wouldn't mind a feather bed either, but neither one is happening.

So there's no use thinking about it. She wouldn't offer.

Well, sometimes people can surprise you.

(Flies buzzing)

(Whispers) No.

We've gone further than I thought.

(Voice breaking) These people are dead because... they helped me.

No. You didn't do this.

Oh, I know.

She did it.

I take it back.

It is too late for her.

I could never forgive her.

There is no good in that woman.


I was wrong.

There never was.

What about when she rescued you?

The horse.

(Whispers) What are you talking about?

Your story, about being saved.

I never said it was her.

I read between the lines.


It was you.

Regina, your dark magic is hiding you somehow, but it is you.

Yes, it is me.

But there is good in me.

If this is your idea of "good"... I want no part of it.

(Whispers) Damn.


(Sword clatters)






Startling, aren't I?

Some people say "striking."

You couldn't have survived that.

Well, you should know by now the one thing I excel at is surviving.

The amazing thing is, you almost had me.

All that stuff about a fresh, clean start, just killing 'em and movin' on... it kinda touched me.

For a moment there, I thought we had a real connection.

And honestly, I almost put a stop to my plan.

Your plan?

Well, their plan, but I fancied it.

And they did save me from that wretched... whatever maleficent is.

(Door opens)

Do you, uh, know these two?

(Door closes)

Well, they have a way with magic.

Or should I say, a way against magic.

Enough of this.

(Mouths word) Yeah, sorry.

That's not gonna work.

Not anymore.

You know, I believe you about Tamara.

You should, 'cause I'm right.

And when we prove it, we can all go back to the Enchanted Forest.

(Turns off engine)

You know, when we get back, Leroy, we're going to need your help restoring the palace.

It's in pretty bad shape.

Cosmetic or a total teardown?

Burn down.



What happened here?

The beans... they're gone.

(Breathing heavily)

Nobody steals from a dwarf.

Who would do this?

(Doors creak)

Why didn't you come when I called you?

Sorry, dearie. Do I know you?

I already have a maid. Promising girl, actually.

You know who I am.

You were supposed to come change me back.

(Giggles) Was I?

I said you could call. Didn't say I'd answer.


(Fabric whooshes)

(Coughs) Oh!

Have the peasants no soap then?

Will you just take this damn spell off me?

I want my magic back, and I wanna be able to get into my own damn castle, thank you very much.


Told you it wouldn't be pleasant.

You wanna hear you were right? Is that it? Huh? Well, you were right.

Oh, I like that. Right about what?

They'll never love me.

So sad and yet so true.

What are you gonna do now, then?

Punish them.



(Inhales deeply)

(Exhales deeply)

The Queen is dead.

Long live...

The Evil Queen.


The cuff. You gave me this.

No, you rather insisted.

You knew I would want it.


They rigged it with something that blocks your magic.

It's impressive.

So little bitty Owen does grown-up magic of his own now.

It's not magic.

Actually, this is something much better... science.

You... you can stop doing that.

It's not gonna work.

You might be able to get rid of the leather, but inside are the toughest metals and machinery known to man, and right now they're counteracting every magic bone in your body.

Which one was she?

Uh, she was the... the Queen.

The Evil Queen.

Yes. I was... the Queen.

But now... here... you're nothing.

And what are you?

I'm... I'm just a man... a man on a mission.

And all this just to try to find your father.

I already told you, I don't know where...

Yes, you do.

But that's not my mission.

Then what is?

I'm not telling you.

Bag her.

(Fabric whooshes)

The End