04x05 - He Who Laughs Last

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Adventures of the Gummi Bears". Aired: September 14, 1985 – February 22, 1991.*
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Regarded by many as a fairytale they are gentle, loveable creatures who want to live in harmony with mankind - but sometimes it's not easy.
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04x05 - He Who Laughs Last

Post by bunniefuu »

[SCREAMING]

ZUMMI: Now, stay tuned
for the Shummi Bear Gow--

Gummi Bear Show. Heh, heh, heh.
It's magical.

What in the--? Ooh!

Zummi, make it stop!

[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]

GAWAIN:
The situation looked hopeless,

but that plucky little Gummi Bear
would not give up.

Though he was surrounded
by a dozen frost giants,

he bravely lifted his sword and shield.

Then what happened, Gramps?

The frost giants moved
closer and closer.

He could almost feel their icy breath.

- Preposterous. Of all the ridiculous--
- Shh!

I'm trying to listen.

- Hmph.
- Then before they could strike,

he leapt onto his shield
and using it like a sled,

sped between their legs
and sh*t to freedom.

[CROWD MURMURING]

Wow, that story gets better
every time he tells it.

Shh. Quiet, Cubbi.

I say, have I ever told you about the time
a Gummi Bear saved my life?

Aye, about a hundred times.

[ALL LAUGHING]

Quite so, quite so.

But it does bear repeating,
if you'll forgive the pun.

Really, onIy children and fools
believe in that rot.

Sir, I could prove to you
that Gummi Bears exist

if I still had that medallion
I found as a youth.

- Liar!
- You, sir, are like the nearsighted rodent.

You can onIy see
what's in front of your nose.

Are you calling me a rat?

[COUGHING]

What?

Who did that?

[WOMEN SCREAMING
AND MEN SHOUTING]

This is all your fault.

Yeah! Give him a right. Give him a left.
Whoa!

Watch out, Sir Gawain.

Ugh!

Maybe we'd better get out of here.

- But, Sunni--
- Come on.

The man is a menace, sire.
He should be locked up.

Oh, really, Lord Willoughby.

Sir Gawain
is just a harmless old dreamer.

Harmless?
Why, he started a riot tonight.

And if he continues telling
those awful stories,

who knows
what kind of trouble he'll cause!

Nonsense. Sir Gawain has served me
faithfully for many years.

- But, sire--
- That is all, Lord Willoughby.

Ooh. I'll find a way to get even with that
doddering old storyteller somehow.

ZUMMI:
Here now, let me see. Let me see now.

A levitating spell?
No, no, no, that's not right.

Invisibility? No, no, no--
Oh, here it is. Here it is.

Hair remover.

No, Zummi, you were supposed to be
looking for a fruit-multiplying spell.

I was?

Yeah. Don't you remember?

Grammi was gonna make me a vat
of plum fruit trifle,

but it's the end of the season
and this was all I could find.

Oh, that's right. I almost forgot.

Maybe you've had
too much on your mind lately.

Oh, nonsense, Tummi. Nonsense.

I just-- Well-- I mean-- Uh--
Have you seen my glasses?

- They're in your hand.
- Huh? Oh.

[LAUGHS]

Oh, my. So they are, so they are.

Now, I know I saw that spell in here
somewhere.

Oh! Oh! Oh! I found it. I found it.

TUMMI:
Oh, boy.

[CLEARS THROAT]

[CHANTING SPELL]

ZUMMI:
Maybe I overdid it.

[BOTH SCREAMING]

GRAMMI:
A little more to the left, Gruffi.

It's perfect right here.

ZUMMI: Help!
TUMMI: Help!

What in the--? Ooh!

ZUMMI: Oh, my goodness. Oh, no, no.
Oh, better get out.

Zummi, make it stop!

I can't remember how, Gruffi.

If I could just find the counter spell.

Oh, here it is.

[CHANTING SPELL]

I did it! I did it!

You certainIy did, Zummi.

Just look at this room.

TUMMI: Did anybody notice
this picture's crooked?

Well, I must have forgotten
a word in the spell.

You should forget trying to do magic
from the Great Book.

With your memory,
it's just too dangerous.

But, Gruffi, I-- I--

Honestly, Zummi, if it was raining ogres,
you'd probably forget to come inside.

TUMMI: Now there's not enough fruit left
for even one tiny trifle.

I guess I'll have to wait a whole year to--

Hey, what's this?

"Sproutiferous treecumis.

This rare tree
which bears a fruit year-round has a--"

Year-round?

Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh, boy.

Say, what's the big hurry?

Put the pot on Grammi,
we're having fruit trifle tonight.

Where does he think he's gonna find
more fruit at this time of the year?

[GASPS]

What is it, Zummi?

This is no plegular rant-- Regular plant.

Terrible things will happen
to anyone who eats its fruit.

Oh, dear.

We've got to stop him!

Better not leave this open.
It's caused enough trouble already.

GAWAIN: Of course, Gummi Bears live
quite differently than we do.

They're really quite clever.

So clever they haven't been seen
in 500 years, right?

[CROWD LAUGHING]

You can't talk to my grandfather
like that.

- Some people just don't believe, lad.
WILLOUGHBY: Ahem.

I warned you against stirring up trouble,
Sir Gawain.

If you persist in telling these outrageous
tales, I'll see that you're locked up.

Sir, I would stake my life on it
that Gummi Bears really do exist.

- Would you stake your fortune on it too?
- Gladly.

Well, then shall we go find
your mystical bears?

[CROWD GASPING]

Gramps, no.

A man must do what he believes.

I accept the challenge.

[CROWD CHEERING]

Come, Cavin. A game is afoot.

That addle-brained fool.

After I humiliate him,
his fortune will be mine. Heh, heh, heh.

Hm. These look good enough to eat.

[BLOWS]

And I will.

GRUFFI:
Tummi, no!

Don't eat that!

Don't worry, Gruffi,
I picked enough for everyone.

Tummi, are you feeling all right?

Sure, Grammi. What's everybody
getting so excited about?

Oh, my. Oh, my, it's started.

What is?

You're leafing.

But I'm not going anywhere.

He means you're turning into a tree,
Tummi.

I am?

Help!

GAWAIN:
All set, Cavin?

Lovely afternoon for a Gummi hunt,
wouldn't you say?

Gramps, do you really think
this is a good idea?

I mean, it's not too late to call it off.

Now, now, lad. Faint hearts and all that.

CAVIN: But what if you don't actually find
a Gummi Bear?

GAWAIN: Then I'll be penniless
for the rest of my life.

[HORSE NEIGHS & GROWLS]

Oh, golly.

WILLOUGHBY:
Ready, Sir Gawain?

GAWAIN: Ready to prove you're wrong,
Lord Willoughby.

Coming, Cavin?

Uh, I'll catch up with you, Gramps.

What will I do?

I can't help him find the Gummi Bears

because I promised
I'd keep their existence a secret.

Maybe they can help me
out of this mess.

Hello?

Yuck.

Cubbi? Gruffi?

Sunni?

Anybody.

Where is everyone?

GRUFFI:
Now, don't toddle, Tummi.

We've gotta get you back to Gummi Glen
before you take root.

Shoo. You know, being a tree
is not all it's cracked up to be.

Shh. Listen.

[ALL LAUGHING]

Found any Gummi Bears yet?
Or perhaps some fairies or pixies?

Shh. You'll scare the little bouncers off.

Humans.

Everyone, get to the tunnels.

My branches are stuck.

Oh, swell.

GRUFFI:
Zummi, push.

[ALL GRUNTING]

TUMMI:
Whoa!

There's a counter spell in the Great Book,
Tummi.

Come on.

Ha, ha, ha. That silly old goat.
Gawain will never find a Gummi Bear.

Ooh. What's this?

A Gummi medallion?

Found something, Lord Willoughby?

WILLOUGHBY:
Uh-- Uh-- Why, of course not.

There's nothing around here
but pine cones and pansies.

- Then what's behind your back?
WILLOUGHBY: Oh.

- Nothing at all. Heh, heh, heh. See?
CAVIN: Hm.

Well, I must be off now. Never know when
a Gummi Bear might pop up. Ha, ha, ha.

- I don't trust that man.
- Me neither.

I'm gonna find out what he's up to.

GAWAIN:
Good lad.

Now,
where could those little fellows be?

[ALL GRUNTING]

Maybe I ought to stay in the forest
with the other trees.

[THUMP]

The counter spell, it's Hummi's onIy tope--
Tummi's onIy hope.

Oh, no. My medallion.

ALL:
What?

I can't understand it.

The last time I looked,
it was right around my neck.

Oh, great. What are you gonna
forget next, your head?

But, Gruffi, I don't remember
taking the medallion off.

That's no surprise.

GRAMMI:
This is dreadful.

If we can't find the medallion,
then we can't open the great book.

And if we can't find the counter spell,
we'll be raking up after Tummi.

Think, Zummi, think.

I'm trying. I'm trying.

I know.

I must have dropped the medallion
near the tree stump outside.

Then let's get moving.
Tummi's still growing like a weed.

And I don't look forward to pruning him.

Well, well,
look who's snooping around here.

CUBBI:
Maybe he found the medallion.

There's onIy one way to find out.
We'll question him.

Oh, I wonder if this could be
some sort of trapdoor.

What in the--?

Help!

Who are you? I demand to know.

We're the ones with the questions,
mister.

Gruffi, that's Cavin's grandfather
Sir Gawain.

So what?

He's the one who found the medallion
in the first place.

We should let him go.

Nothing doing.


But what about Tummi?
He doesn't have much time left.

Well, okay. For Tummi's sake.

[GASPS]

GAWAIN:
You're Gummi Bears.

I've lived for this moment
ever since the day I found that medallion.

ZUMMI: That's exactly why we brought
you here. It's missing.

GAWAIN:
Zounds, what happened to you?

I ate something that didn't agree with me,
okay?

We need the medallion
to reopen the Great Book

and find the counter spell for Tummi.

By gad, I found it once
and I can find it again.

Zummi says he lost it by the tree stump.

And anybody could have found it
by now.

Lord Willoughby. He must have taken it.

Don't worry, my friends, I will not rest
until I return the medallion to you.

And then I'll win my bet.

Bet? What bet?

I made a wager with Willoughby
that I could prove Gummi Bears exist.

And you certainIy do.

No one must ever know about us.

Well, uh-- Uh...

Oh, I see.

Fear not, your secret's safe with me
on my honour as a gentleman.

That's not good enough.

Listen, Gruffi, I'll go along with Gawain.
It's my responsibility.

Excellent.
The two of us shall return victorious.

Look out, world,
here comes the dynamic duo.

CAVIN:
Zummi's medallion.

I knew Lord Willoughby
was up to no good.

[WILLOUGHBY HUMMING]

[YAWNING]

What a day.

CAVIN: Ugh!
- What?

You little thief.

This should keep you quiet,
you meddling nipper.

I'll deal with you and your grandfather
tomorrow.

ZUMMI: This is hopeless.
What if the medallion isn't here?

If I wasn't such an old fool,
none of this would have happened.

Come, come, Zummi old boy,
you've got to believe in yourself.

Look at me. Everyone thinks I'm crazy
because I believe in Gummi Bears,

and that's never stopped me.

Well, maybe so, but you were never
responsible for turning anyone into a tree.

[SNORING]

ZUMMI:
There it is.

What?

Sir Gawain.
You're not onIy crazy, you're a crook.

Guards!

Whoa!

You called, milord?

Don't just stand there, you idiots.
Stop that man!

Oh, did you see the look on his face?

GUARD:
Get back here, you old geezer.

Ah, at last.

Ugh!

GUARD: Stop!
GAWAIN: Uh-oh.

ZUMMI: There's onIy one thing to do,
Gawain. Jump!

[NEIGHING]

Go, Gramps, go! Go! Go!

GAWAIN:
So long, chubby.

Stop!

[BOTH SCREAMING]

GUARD:
After him.

Ha. This reminds me of the tale
about the sludge worm and the griffin.

You see, when the tiny invertebrate
was running from--

Do you think
you can tell me the story later?

WILLOUGHBY:
Ha, call me chubby, will you?

Here they come,
and Gawain's got the medallion.

WILLOUGHBY:
Surrender, old man.

Zummi, you go ahead. Save your friend.

I'll deal with Willoughby.

The medallion.

Heads up.

- Wha--?
- Ha, ha, ha.

Finders keepers, losers weepers.

Oh, no. Willoughby's got the medallion.

Well, we're not taking this Iying down.

Now nobody will believe that ninny,
and all his riches will be mine. Ha, ha.

What the--?

Why, I'll have your head, you--

[GASPS]

Gummi Bear?

Give us that medallion.

[WILLOUGHBY SCREAMS]

[SCREAMING]

Surprise.

GRAMMI:
Hold it right there, buster.

Help! Please don't hurt me.

Then give us back our medallion.

GRUFFI:
Or else...

WILLOUGHBY:
No!

I'm sorry, Zummi, it's all my fault.
I'm just an old fool.

No, you're not. I am.

How can I ever face the others again?

GUARD:
Halt!

- You're under arrest.
GAWAIN: Now, just a minute.

WILLOUGHBY:
Help! The Gummi Bears are after me.

GUARD 1 : What?
GUARD 2: What?

Get hold of yourself, man.
What are you talking about?

Gummi Bears, they're in the forest.
They're trying to get me.

Oh, come now, Lord Willoughby.
You can't be serious.

But I am. I'll prove it to you.

They were just here. I swear it. swear it.

Stop playing games with me.

Look, this is a Gummi medallion.
That proves it.

There really are Gummi Bears.

And that means I've won the bet.

Yes, yes, yes,
but who cares about that?

Let's get out of here before those--

Before those monsters come back!

[WILLOUGHBY SCREAMING]

Please don't use me for firewood.

And could you keep me well-trimmed?
I wanna look my best.

GRAMMI:
Hurry, Zummi, Tummi's almost gone.

Aha! Here it is!

[CHANTING SPELL]

- Are you all right, Tummi?
- Oh!

I don't ever wanna see
another piece of fruit again.

But do you have any cookies, Grammi?
I haven't eaten a thing all day.

CUBBI:
Welcome back, Tummi.

To Gawain and Zummi.

ALL:
Hooray!

This is one adventure I'll never forget.

Oh, which reminds me.

Gawain, you must solemnIy swear
never to tell anyone of our existence.

I swear.

Oh, but I wish I could at least
tell my grandson, Cavin.

[GRAMMI LAUGHS]

I don't think telling him would hurt.

You've gotta believe me,
I saw Gummi Bears.

[CROWD LAUGHING]

It's true. It's true, I tell you.
They're all over the forest.

Sounds like a fairy tale to me.

Looks like you've been out in the sun
too long.

But-- But-- But I saw them.

Little furry things
with razor-sharp teeth and--

GAWAIN:
What a pathetic wreck of a man.

You know, son,
there really are Gummi Bears.

Really?

Why, of course.

Did I ever tell you about the time
I visited their home and met them all?

- Zummi and Grammi, Tummi...
ALL: Heh, heh, heh.
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