02x12 - Would You Wrather Take a Dive?

[bunniefuu]

Hey, guys.


As you know, once a year,
we turn over the show to Ollie


to give out his own Would You Wrather?


My least favorite day of the year,
next to International French Fry Day.


They were invented in Belgium, not France.


-Here we go.
-We've been living a lie!


Anyway...


We never know what Ollie's gonna do.


But judging from what I'm looking at,
I'm scared.


Oh, be afraid.


Be very afraid.


Hey, Ollieheads! So...


would you rather get
pecked a hundred times


by Ollie chicken--


Nice beak.


Ow! Mother of pearl!


Or...


would you rather have me
lay an egg on you


that's filled with mystery sauce?


Can you at least tell us
if the mystery sauce is harmful?


No.


-And you guys chose...
-(chiming)


-Ollie egg.
-Yes!


You sit under there
while Ollie chicken climbs up to his nest


to do his business.


So, this is how it ends.


Now we let nature run its course.


(clucking)


And you thought this would be weird.


-(clucks)
-(glops)


-Cami: (gasps)
-Ugh!


-It's not as bad as it looks.
-Ollie: (clucks)


-It's much, much worse.
-Ollie: (clucking)


-(clucks loudly)
-(thudding)


Ugh!


Uh! My gosh, what are in these?


And why is it so warm?


You're gonna wanna burn those clothes!


(continues clucking)


(theme song playing)


Would you rather lose your phone


Or give up pizza for a month?


Share your diary with the world


Or have to eat it for your lunch?


Sing out of tune to your friends


Or trip and fall into your crush?


Shave your head, paint it red


Or use your dog's toothbrush?


We need a little Q and A


Come on, Wratherheads, play along


Would you rather do this?


Would you rather do this?


Would you rather do that?


Would you rather do that?


Don't matter what we do


We're doing it with you


I'd rather do that


Ask the world


Would you rather do this?


Would you rather do this?


Or would you rather just dance?


Or would you rather just dance?


No matter what we do


We're doing it with you


I'd rather do that


Ask the world!


Would you rather do that?


So, is everyone super pumped
to come see me on Wednesday?


Both: Uh...


Are you serious? You forgot?


Both: Uh...


-My debate tournament!
-Her debate tournament.


Come on, Cami. It's not all about you.


It's the school finals.


The winning team goes on
to regionals, or...


"the regies," if you wanna sound cool.


I have tried so hard with her.


Well, I will be there, front and center.


Aw, thanks, Mom. And don't worry.


They say this year's tournament
won't go over four hours.


Like I would even notice.


Uh, yeah. Last year,
you nailed the moderator with your shoe.


(laughs) He cried.


(phone chimes)


Hey, if you see Fred, tell him his mom's
trying to get a hold of him.


She just found out his sister Marlo's
coming home today.


Oh, man. He is not gonna like that.


I don't like that.


Fred's little sister has had
the biggest crush on me forever.


The googly-eyes, the non-stop questions...
It's so annoying.


Does she still go to that
school of performing farts?


It's performing arts.


Arts? Ew!


She is such a talented singer.


Reminds me of a young me.


Ollie, nod your head.


Well, every time Marlo visits,


Fred bums out and goes into a huge funk.


I don't blame him. That girl's a handful.


Last year for Fred's birthday,


-she gave him her autograph.
-(door opens)


-Fred: Hello, Wrathers.
-(door closes)


Ugh! Time to ruin his day.


I have an idea how to soften the news.


Hey. Your mom's been trying to text you.


She's got some pretty big news.


My phone's not working.


It was drenched in Ollie egg.


-What's up?
-Before we get to that--


Cami and I have a surprise.


We want you to do your very own
Fred Would You Wrather?


Choose anything you want, buddy.


What? Are you serious? Anything?


Good news, right?
Also, Marlo's coming for a visit.


-Your very own show, dude!
-Up top, Fred-ster!


Wait, what was that middle part again?


-Marlo's coming for a visit?
-(exclaims)


I see. Okay.


-Will you excuse me for a minute?
-Cami: Yeah.


-Cami (scoffs): Huh!
-(door opens)


-Wow! He handled that way better than I--
-(door shuts)


Fred (screaming): Why?


...thought.


Cami. Pam.


The reason I asked you
to stay after class is because


I've sensed some tension between you.


Why would you say that?

This thing better come off.


I'm sorry, did Hagrid say something?
I can't...


Hey, I didn't ask you here to fight.


I asked you here to fix.


Look, Pam was the one
who started this whole prank w*r,


so I have nothing to say to her.


I get it. You don't want to dish
in front of Johnny Old School. (chuckles)


Well, fear not.


(hoarsely) 'Cause we're just, huh,
three hip kids


sittin' 'round, talkin' 'bout our feels.


What's happening?


Huh. Good thing that
whack professor's gone.


Now we can rap about
our supes important issues


on our terms. (laughs)


Who wants to dive in first?


There's nothing to dive into.


I've taken an oath to bring down Cami.


And I plan on stopping
and crushing her in return.


You guys might want to slow your roll.


This Kramsky guy plays for keeps.


I hear that if either one of you
messes up,


you're both heading to detention
with a capital "D."


(grunts) Shh! Here he comes!


Fred: Coop, you here?


Don't worry, Marlo's not with me.


Good. I'm not really in the mood to get
marriage proposals today.


I wish I could hide from her.


She woke me up at the cr*ck of dawn
with her loud juicer.


Finally, I was like,
"Can you please not do that in my room?"


Right this way, Marlo.


-Uh-oh.
-(thuds)


Can I just say, you were fantastic


when you starred in Annie
at the community theater last summer.


Fun fact-- I actually tried out
for Miss Hannigan.


I remember. You were just too good.


Knew it.


Okay, you kids have fun.


Hey, Fred.


Mom has a list of items
she needs you to grab while you're out.


-These are all things for you.
-Yes.


And I wanted to ask if you're okay with me


turning the family den
into a meditation area.


I'd prefer that you didn't.


Ooh. Awkward.


I was just trying to be polite.
It's happening.


Might as well get this over with.


-Hey, Marlo.
-Hey.


-Fred, just get these done by :.
-(groans)


Hurry up. Mom's waiting in the car.


I just wanna make sure I have all my stuff
for dance practice.


-What's all that?
-Our team's been prepping for the debate.


I color-coded my lists
of points and counter-points.


(sniffs) What's that's smell?


Oh, yeah! Goin' to the regies! (chuckles)


Well, can you do me a favor
and hand me the sneakers from my locker?


I'm telling you, our team
has never been so ready for a debate.


-(screams)
-What?


-Ow!
-Cami: Pam.


Sorry about that. Are you okay?


(lisping) No. I'm not okay.
(gasps) I think I bit my tongue.


-Problem?
-(lisping) Yes. Big problem.


I can feel it swelling up right now.


(gasps) There's no way
I can go onstage and debate


about the influence of Ancient Greece
versus Ancient Rome talking like this.


Like what? I didn't notice anything.


(knocking on door)


Hello, Mrs. Wrather. I'm looking for Fred.


Marlo, hi. Or as we say in our business...


Hi!


I can't do this today.


-I'll go find Fred.
-(door closes)


Want a bite?


Just stay to the right side.


I've been sneezing up weird stuff lately.


Maybe we can just wait in silence.


(scoffs) If you're expecting
silence after I eat a sloppy joe,


you're not gonna like what's coming.


-Fred, you look happy.
-Yep.


Just one more day
till Marlo goes back to school,


and I've come up with the best
Fred Would You Wrather? ever.


Check it out.


A sketch of you and Taylor Swift
riding a falcon?


Oops. Wrong page.


"Would you rather
play piano with your toes,


or two flutes with your nose?"


Is Taylor Swift into falcons or something?


Would you forget about that?


I've devised a perfect scenario, here,
because either way,


I get to show the Wratherheads
my mad skills.


Hey. Your sister's in the kitchen.


And she's mean.


I had to leave the kitchen.


That boy should see a doctor.


Fred, we need to chat.


Before you get to that,


did you hear I got accepted into
the junior firefighter program?


Kind of a big deal.


Yuh-huh.


So, anyway, I have huge news.


I've decided not to return to my school,


and move back home permanently.


I see. Okay. Will you excuse me
for a minute?


Fred (screaming): Why?


Only % of the candidates
even make it into the program.


I mean, you get that, right?


I've calmed down. Marlo, we need to talk.


Fred, what did I tell you
about speaking to me


when I'm in tree pose?


-I don't care if you're in a--
-Aah-buh-bup-bup.


And... done. Okay, what's up?


Why would you want to leave your school?
You love it there.


One-hundred one.


-One-hundred two--
-What are you doing?


Oh, hey, guys.


Don't mind me.
I'm just pumping up the pythons.


Those weights look awfully tiny.


I'm about tone, not bulk.


Can you give us a sec?


Marlo, acting and singing
have been your entire life.


-Why would you quit?
-I need a break.


You have no clue what it's like
to achieve all your dreams,


and be constantly praised for it.


It must be hard.


It's like an artist took a lump of clay


and sculpted me into
this magnificent statue


that's always on display.


-Speaking of sculpted--
-Cooper!


I don't wanna be a magnificent statue
anymore, Fred.


I wanna be like you. Just a lump of clay.


You're too sweet.


FYI, I'm turning your basketball court
into a Zen garden.


See you at supper.


We need to get that girl
back to her school.


-Enough with the weights.
-(groans)


(weights thud)


I don't know how Mom does it.


Charlotte, I said I was sorry.


(lisping) Oh, you're sorry? You're sorry?


It's been hours,
and my tongue is twice its normal size.


Do you hear what I sound like?


I do, and it's awesome.


Cami, there's no way
I can properly debate.


Look, I pulled up the official rule book
for scholastic debating.


The rules allow for a substitute.


I can take your place.


(lisping) That's impossible.


You know nothing about
Ancient Rome or Greece.


But the debate's tomorrow,
and I'm your only hope.


Plus, I'm the best arguer you know.
Just teach me.


There's barely any time.


Then I guess we better go
"Full Charlotte."


Eh! (chuckles) Cami...


"Full Charlotte" is not
just a cool nickname.


No, it is not.


It's a desire to be
the very best by any means necessary.


(chuckles) You're my hero.


I can do that.


Come on. I can't take
knowing my prank w*r with Pam


cost your team a chance to go to Reggie's.


It's "the regies."


And if we're going to do this,
I need your complete focus.


-I can do that.
-Get rid of every distraction--


Including Pam. No more pranks.


Do I have your solemn promise?


-You have my word.
-Then let the training begin!


How am I not recording this?


Coop, I got your text.


Did you find a way to get
Marlo back to her school?


-Coop: I don't know. Did I?
-(door opens)


Or did I just make it way, way harder?


What is wrong with you?


This was my exact hairstyle
when Marlo started crushing on me.


I repeat, what is wrong with you?


Marlo used to think I was
the coolest thing walking.


And now she doesn't.
Look at me and tell me...


Am I still cool?


Guys, you need to see this.
(exclaims) Gah!


-Do you like it?
-I--


Page of the Parents' Guide to Teens.
"Let them recognize their own mistakes."


Found this online.


It's from Marlo's most recent
school musical.


She'll be coming 'round the mountain
When she comes


-(thuds)
-Marlo: Aah!


(kids laughing on screen)


Wow. She looked totally humiliated.


Now I know why she won't return to school.


And now I know why she's ignoring me.


She lost her memory after the crash.


She doesn't want to
walk away from performing.


She's too embarrassed to go back.


I need to help her.


I don't care what my parent guide says.


No one wants to see this. No one.


(lisping) Now just remember,
the yellow cards are historical dates.


The green cards are famous
Greek philosophers--


And the blue one is a reminder
that there is no biting in debate club.


(chuckles) Cami, I am so impressed.


I went "Full Charlotte,"
and you never backed down.


I really think you're ready.


Hello, Cami.


Oh! Hello, Pam.


Oh, I didn't recognize you clean shaven.


Stay far away from Pam, remember? Focus!


(grunts) Hmm! Don't worry.
I gave you my word.


Thanks. I'll see you
at the debate in a half-hour.


Yeah.


(spraying)


-(locker slams)
-Are you kidding me?


Cami, what happened?


Whoa! Another prank? This is no bueno.


Um, no, no, no. No prank.


Cami and I were working on
a friendship banner


and some of the paint spilled.


Right, Cami?


(scoffs) Just two friends
supporting each other.


Well, as your teacher,
I say clean this up.


But as your bro...


Former enemies working together
is mega-dope.


It's all because of you, Mr. Kramsky.


Mr. Kramsky? Is that nerd here? (scoffs)


I am so outie.


Catch you on the flippety-flop.


Okay, Pam. That's it. I am so gonna...


...go study my index cards.


Oh, my. Cami Wrather has lost her edge!


The Pam-elution has begun!


If you're gonna be living here,
you need to keep these handy at all times.


-Fish sticks?
-Yep.


You can use one as a mustache
if you're trying to hide from a teacher.


Or to turn into a walrus.


If you wanna hide from a teacher.


-Or act like an alien if you wanna--
-Hide from a teacher?


No. Scare the old lady
who hands out pennies on Halloween.


-There you are.
-Oh. Hey, Fred.


And my name is Cooper.


We knew each other before the accident.


I can't believe I used to think
this guy was cool.


Anyway, since I'm moving back,


I thought I'd get to know
the locals better.


So I'm hanging out with Orrin, here.


His name is Ollie.


Thank you!


I knew something was off, there.


Isn't he just so small-town authentic?


Don't fall in love with me.


This wolf travels solo.


Marlo, I saw the video
of you falling offstage.


What? No. That wasn't me.


You don't need to feel ashamed.


I know that's the reason
you're leaving your school.


-(sighs)
-You love to perform.


You can't give up
just because of one mistake.


So you embarrassed yourself. Big deal!
I've done that on Coop's show many times.


Many, many times, actually.


-We put together a highlight reel--
-Talking to my sister.


Look, everybody messes up.


The key is to pick yourself up,
laugh it off, and move past it.


It's not that easy.


It is. Trust me.


Hey, I'm doing a Would You Wrather? later
where I'm playing a song.


What do you say you back me up
with some vocals?


Live, in front of thousands of people?


That's not happening.


(sighs)


-No luck, huh?
-No.


But if she won't listen to me
about it being okay to fail,


I'll just have to show her.


I'm gonna make this Would You Wrather?
the most epic train wreck ever!


Super.


Gee! Couldn't you find
a bigger picture of yourself?


No.


Can you move those Ollie eggs?


So here's the plan.


The Wratherheads will vote
on whether I play piano with my toes,


or two flutes with my nose.


Still loving that.


Then I'll step on this board
marked with the "X,"


which has been pre-rigged to break,


sending me crashing through the stage.


Won't that hurt?


Maybe, but I need to show Marlo
how to laugh off a mess-up and keep going.


And you'd do all this for someone
who's spent her life tormenting you?


She's my little sister.


You're a good dude, Fred.


(door opens)


Oh, uh, Ollie, can you give us a hand?


My name's Orrin now. And I'm a father.


I have to go spend time with my babies.


All (chanting): Regies! Regies! Regies!


This is so weird. I feel so nerdy,
and cool all at the same time.


(lisping) Welcome to my world. (chuckles)


Cami, you were fantastic!


You're coming to celebrate with us, right?


After each win, we eat ice pops
and watch the debate back.


(laughs) You're kidding me, right?


Gotcha! (laughs) We don't eat ice pops.


Okay, well, I think
I'm just gonna head home


and get all this stuff off me, so...


Hey. Thanks for putting me
ahead of your w*r with Pam.


I know that couldn't have been easy.
(chuckles)


(suction pops)


No. No, it was not.


I texted Marlo to watch. We're good to go.


You get one chance
to do Would You Wrather?


and you're not dressed as a chicken? Hack.


Hey, Wratherheads.
Cami's not with us today,


but we have a very special guest host.


Everyone, welcome-- Fred!


Hey, g*ng.
I got a good one for you today.


Would you rather
play piano with your toes,


or two flutes with your nose?


(chuckles) Drink in that visual,
and vote now.


I don't wanna sway the vote,


but for the love of Moses,


pick the one where he doesn't
take off his shoes.


Hey, Fred. You still need a singer?


Marlo, you came!


Are you sure you wanna do this?


No. But I thought about how
you said everyone messes up.


Then I took a look at your highlight reel.


You weren't lying.


This is great. Come on up.


-(keys clicking)
-And you guys picked...


-(chiming)
-Flutes with your nose.


My eyes thank you all.


We're really doing this song?


You can do it. I'm right here next to you.


So should I just stand here on the "X?"


No! Uh... You're better over here.
(chuckles nervously)


Surprise, everyone!


Today I'm joined by my very talented
sister, Marlo!


-(clattering)
-Oh!


-(screams)
-(eggs cracking)


Fred: Marlo!


-(grunts)
-(thuds)


-Uh-oh!
-(eggs cracking)


My babies!


(groans)


(gasping)


(eggshells crunching)


-Are you okay?
-(giggles)


Both: (giggling)


All: (laughing)


Shall we do this?


She'll be coming 'round the mountain
When she comes


She'll be coming around the mountain
When she comes


She'll be...


(coughing) Excuse me.


She'll be coming around the mountain


She'll be coming around the mountain


(singing continues)


Did she just wave at me?
Do you think she wants me to join?


No. You're too good.


Marlo: ...When she comes


She'll be driving six white horses
When she comes


She'll be driving six white horses


She'll be driving six white horses


She'll be driving six white horses
When she comes


So, Marlo's still moving back home?


Yeah, but things are gonna be different.


She's already stopped using
her juice maker in my room.


Most nights.


What's going on?


Pam: A little help, please!


Wow, Cami. This is some of your
finest work.


I had nothing to do with this.
It was all her.


(lisping) I didn't like seeing
my sister get messed with.


Never mess with the Wrathers.


-Pam: What?
-She said--


(lisping) "Never mess with the Wrathers."


Ollie: (clucking)