4x02 - Double Identity

[bunniefuu]

Gossip Girl here.

Your one and only source into the scandalous lives of Manhattan's elite.

Dad, I am so sorry.

I wanted to tell you.

Tell me what? This is Milo Humphrey, your grandson.

A body washed up in Paris shot.

The identification they found says it's Charles Bass.

What's your name? Henry.

Welcome to Paris, Henry.

Let's go home.

I think I need to be alone for a while.

Oh, so I didn't realize you and Serena were actually over.

I'm not gonna spend the entire summer waiting for her to figure things out.

Could I at least get your number? What, it's not in your friend's little black book? When you're ready to talk about what really got you into this place, give me a call.

You know what? You were right.

I I was hurt.

Do you wanna meet up to grab a cup of coffee? That sounds great, yeah.

I thought that someone who loved what I love could one day love me, too, but I guess not.

No, no, no.

I've been acting like I'm okay, but I'm not.

What if I never get over Chuck? Summer is coming to a close, and as everyone knows, Paris, like the Upper East Side, empties out in August, leaving behind only the tourists and the dreamers, lamenting the imminent return to real life.

I can't believe it's almost time to go back to New York already.

I know, and you still haven't made your Sophie's choice between Brooklyn and the Upper East Side.

What? If you go back with an uncertain heart, there will be drama and disaster for all.

It's like choosing between eclairs and napoleons.

They're both delicious.

Except Humphrey's a doughnut.

Well, I would love to stay and talk patisserie, but I have to get ready for my perfect Parisian date.

Wait, what? You got Louis to give you a second chance? B.

, that's great.

And to prove that I care about more than his title, I've planned a day of polite interaction with the proletariat.

Think Diana, princess of the people.

Obviously, I'll wear gloves.

Obviously.

Well, I'm off to buy gently worn items in the 12th.

And don't worry.

Not even you choosing a Humphrey will ruin my date.

Nothing will.

Mm.

Au revoir.

Hi, mom.

I'm sorry to bother you on your last day, Serena.

I got a very upsetting phone call from the Paris police.

Oh, if it's about Blair pushing me in the fountain, I'm not pressing charges.

They pulled a body out of the river and found Charles' wallet.

Oh, my God.

You don't think it's him, do you? Well, it would be a lot easier not to panic if someone had heard from him or he had been paying the empire bills.

Listen, um, sweetheart, they need a family member to identify the body.

If it's too much for you, I will be on the next flight.

No, no, I'm I'm here.

I can do it.

Thank you.

Listen, let's just keep this between us.

I don't want to worry anyone until we know for sure what's really going on.

Yeah, I agree.

I'm sorry for the Are you kidding? Serena took her best friend's boyfriend's virginity, ran away to boarding school, bounced from guy to guy until dating your married congressman cousin, fell in love with you, and then cheated on you with your friend, who's also her ex? Yep.

The only thing that would make it better is if one of those boyfriends turned out to be her brother.

Well, does stepbrother count? The life of Serena Van Der Woodsen is like the most complicated Jane Austen novel ever.

Aren't you glad you finally reached the last chapter? I haven't even responded yet.

Things between us- they never really ended.

They just stopped, and Instead of dealing with them, I- I just You little-black-booked the pain away? Exactly.

Well, do you wanna get back together with her? I don't know.

You know, it would be nice if I were the one deciding, not her.

In that case, the first thing you need to do is eliminate the competition.

What was his name again? Dan's not the competition, all right.

He's my friend.

Besides, for all I know, he's not even interested in her anymore.

And what happens if it's too late by the time you find out? Look I can help.

Let me be your life coach for the next 24 hours, and I promise you, you will be in a place where you're the one making the choice.

Brooklyn, you say? Why don't we just both go home, shower, get dressed, and I'll meet you there? Sounds good.

Good.

The body was in no condition for fingerprints, but We found this.

That's his.

We're testing the blood on the wallet.

Do you need a moment to gather yourself? No amount of time will ever make this okay.

Five more minutes.

As pleasurable as those your uncle was already generous enough to help the strange American you brought home from Prague.

I don't want to be late for my first day on the job.

One thing I'll miss about taking care of you after the sh**ting will be spending all day in bed together.

I couldn't have enjoyed being saved more.

I'm just happy to be taking care of you now.

I know a way you could take care of me right now.

I wouldn't be able to tear myself away.

Then what would your uncle think? You're a good man, Henry prince.

Too good.

This loft is your loft this loft is my loft where's your aunt Jenny? She moved to Hudson she wears leggings wow.

I did not need to see or hear that.

No.

Well, I'm- - I'm doing the best I can.

Who's this? This is Juliet sharp.

She's a new friend.

Pleasure to meet you, Dan.

I hope you don't mind me tagging along.

No, no.

Vanessa's supposed to be here already, and Georgina's at the spa, and Milo has not been taking his bottle all morning.

Oh, buddy.

I think he's kind of mad at me.

You all right? Yeah, you wanna hold him, Nate? You don't expect me to sing, do you? No.

Just make sure you prop his neck up.

Oh, he smells funny.

Oh, maybe he just needs a woman's voice.

Okay.

Whatever you were singing was definitely not that.

Hmm? Ask him, like we agreed.

Come here.

Yeah.

You're so cute.

She's definitely not out of Chuck's little black book.

No.

No, she, uh, sure isn't.

So have you heard from Serena lately? Uh, no.

No, I haven't.

I would assume she's still in Paris or at brown already.

Actually, Gossip Girl said she's going to Columbia.

She's she's coming back to the city for school now? That's what the blast said.

You not okay with that? No.

No, I'm fine with it I guess.

I- I'm just surprised she didn't say anything to me about it.

But if she didn't say anything to you Hey, Dan, can you grab a diaper? Yeah.

Yeah, I'll do it.

What is it? Well, he said he hadn't heard from her.

Looks like Dan's playing a game with you.

Now do you want to win, or do you want to lose? I suppose it's worth missing you if it means staying in a place where you don't have nightmares.

And you look very handsome in your work clothes.

Well, I look forward to you removing them after an honest day's work.

Bye.

Bye.

They say it's easy to forget your troubles when the weather's warm.

But all it takes is one fall breeze to blow reality right back in your face.

What are you doing? Suddenly we're stopping for pedestrians? Vite! Watch out, Blair.

He who sows the wind reaps the storm.

Next time, I promise we'll do shoes and vintage, and not just health food stores.

Aw.

Let me see that beautiful boy.

Well, you guys seem to have bonded.

We had a nice talk.

Hey.

Aw, Vanessa, you're amazing with him.

Yeah, she's a serious baby whisperer.

Living on a commune, you clock a lot of babysitting hours.

Right? Okay, I get what you're doing, and it's not exactly subtle.

The goal is to take him out of the equation.

Not by using Vanessa.

She's still totally in love with him.

She's just hurt by what happened last spring, and she's looking for a sign to see how he really feels about her.

She told you that? She didn't have to.

I'm not trying to ruin people's lives.

Vanessa and Dan are great people.

And from what I hear, they made a great couple, too.

Yeah.

Okay, I will.

I love you, too.

Bye.

"I love you, Nate" or "I love you, Dan"? "I love you, mom.

" Oh.

Well, it's all right.

Now that I'm an egalitarian, I'll accept it even if you choose Dan, and not just because he's ahead in the "Gossip Girl" poll.

Gossip Girl has a poll? Honestly, I haven't even thought about it.

B.

, I went to the morgue today.

What is that? A sex club? A place where they keep dead bodies.

I had to identify one because he had Chuck's I.

D.

Don't worry.

It wasn't him.

I'm not worried.

But, Blair, I just hung up with my mom, and Chuck is missing.

Well, consider him found.

He was on the Rue de Charenton an hour ago.

What, you saw him? Here? Gossip Girl said I was in Paris.

Where else would he be? My mom and the police are looking everywhere.

He hasn't paid an empire bill all summer.

His assets are about to be frozen.

I could care less about his bassets.

And besides, he's probably filtering his finances through some foreign government so that I won't know he's stalking me.

Well, what did he say when you saw him? Nothing.

He limped away, and I kept driving.

That doesn't sound very stalker-ish.

It's Chuck.

It's probably part of some elaborate scheme.

Well, he did have blood on his wallet, and you said you saw him limping.

Don't you think we should at least make sure he's okay? I'm sorry he pissed off the wrong pickpocket.

But I've been waiting for this date all summer.

I'm not gonna let him ruin it.

I'm sure Louis would understand if you're a little late.

Look I can't talk to him, s.

You don't know what it was like, seeing him, even through the car window.

Trust me, the only thing wrong with Chuck is that I'm gonna be happy without him.

Your oysters, Henry.

Here.

Hey.

Hey.

I thought you might be ready for a break.

I have to ask.

Your first day made me believe not all American are lazy.

I see you tomorrow.

Enjoy Paris.

Merci.

Merci.

Voila Monsieur.

What is wrong? Are you mad at me? No, you're perfect.

I was just thinking maybe this isn't the right place for us after all.

Why? Was working with Oncle Alphonse so horrible? It's not the job.

It's Paris.

But you loved it this morning.

And you slept through the night for the first time in weeks.

True, but I credit you with all of that.

I mean, we could live anywhere and be happy.

I hear India is amazing.

But we can barely afford the bus to Lorraine.

I may have a way to figure out the finances.

Well, that was an interesting call.

Was that Paris? News about Chuck? That was Dr.

Feiner from Lenox Hill.

Unfortunately, he cannot discuss Milo's medical records with anyone other than his parents.

I was just hoping to get some more information, make sure this guy's even a real doctor, not some sex phone operator that crazy girl paid off to lie to us.

Oh, now who's crazy? Georgina went for a spa weekend right after Dan signed the birth certificate.

We need to get our own paternity test done while she's gone.

Well, she said we could.

It's not like we have to sneak around behind her back.

Now whatever you might believe, your son is in Brooklyn, struggling to take care of a baby.

So you can sit here and brood all by yourself, or you can come with me and help me turn Jenny's room into a nursery so that child has a proper place to sleep.

Well You know where I'll be if you change your mind.

Have you ever seen anyone sleep so deeply? I know you said things were complicated, but you and Dan really seem to click.

We do Or did, before the thing with Serena.

You have to tell her.

Dan made Nate promise not to tell you, so You can't say anything, but he does have feelings for you.

He told us himself.

Really? You should go for it, yeah.

My friend saw him around here this morning.

He has an intimate relationship with alcohol, so I figured I'd check all the bars first.

He doesn't drink here, but he looks very much like my new waiter.

Is he American, from New York? All I know is he came to Paris from, uh, Prague with my niece.

Well, if he's who I think he is, he could be in a lot of trouble.

I- I need to talk to him.

He doesn't do much talking, especially about himself.

Please, sir, I've been to every bar in the neighborhood.

And he's my stepbrother, and I'm very worried about him.

If you have any idea where he is, please Tell me you didn't rob a bank.

My grandfather left me a small inheritance.

I've just been waiting for the right thing to spend it on.

But it doesn't look small to me.

It's enough to get us to London, then Kerala.

Are you sure you wanna do this? I've never been more sure of anything.

Is it hot or cold in Kerala? Do we need shots? And what do I pack? Chuck, it's you.

Who's here? Oh, hi.

I'm Serena Van Der Woodsen.

I'm I'm really sorry to show up like this.

I've just been looking for Chuck everywhere.

Henry, what is she talking about? I don't know.

The man you're looking for is not here.

Holy Bruce Wayne, Batman.

It's one thing to hide who you really are.

It's another to pretend you don't exist.

I had no idea you had such deep appreciation for street food.

I'm quite surprised that your favorite restaurant is on Rue de la Huchette.

Yes, well, the masterpieces of the Louvre don't compare to the simple pleasures of the kebab.

Paris is complicated and beautiful Much like you.

But you know what's even better than street food? Street artists.

I heard there's an amazing bucket drummer at the Pont Neuf Metro station.

Should we investigate? Well, I was thinking more of a chauffeured drive in the country, to the ball my parents are throwing for the Givenchy exhibition.

Oh! Givenchy was Audrey's favorite.

Does that mean you- you'll allow me to escort you nothing would make me happier, except maybe saving this for later.

Hey.

Where's Milo? I gave him a bottle and put him down in your bedroom.

You know, he should really have a nursery.

Yeah, I know.

I've been meaning to get to that.

You hungry? Always.

I can't remember the last time that I ate something that didn't come out of a a box.

Did you do all this? I thought you deserved a bottle, too.

You've been under so much pressure, I can't even imagine.

I really missed you.

I missed you, too.

I know that I-I-I haven't gotten a full night's sleep in a while.

I don't really know what I'm saying half the time.

But I'm so grateful that you've been here helping me.

And after everything that that, you know, I put your through, which I haven't even apologized for, I haven't explained it stop talking.

You know I'm not good at that.

I think I can help.

I had a feeling you'd linger.

I'm not gonna leave.

Chuck, today I had to identify a body that the police thought was you.

Did you do something to that man? If if it was self-defense, I'm sure that they would understand.

I never touched that thief.

So is Blair right? Is this another one of your games? Do I look like I'm playing? I know more than anyone what it's like to want to reinvent yourself.

But just because people are mad at you doesn't mean you should disappear.

My mom is really worried about you.

I'm sure she'll come to celebrate my absence, as will all the people who've wished me dead since the day I was born.

I know things were bad in New York.

But if you don't come home, you'll lose the empire.

You'll lose everything you ever cared about.

I already lost the only thing I cared about.

They can have everything else.

I don't know what you told that girl, but you can't turn your back on who you really are.

I'm going to see an old associate, picking up a passport with my new name on it.

After today, there is no Chuck Bass.

I'm staying at Eleanor and Cyrus' when you realize that's not true.

Wow.

That was, uh Yeah.

I'll have to thank Nate the next time I see him.

Nate? I'm sorry, but, I mean, I don't mean to be a credit hog, but that was all me.

No, I mean, I'm just- I'm glad that he told me.

Told you what? The truth.

Wh about what? Okay, after I told Nate that I was nervous about you still being in love with Serena, he said that it wasn't true and that you told him you still had feelings for me.

And there it is.

I- I'll go.

Okay.

Oh, wow.

A coronation already? The date must've gone well.

Oh, s.

, we walked, we talked, we laughed.

I'd forgotten what it was like to just have fun with a guy.

And now I'm off to meet his parents at a ball.

Just look at all the gowns he sent! The fairy tale is back on as long as the evil queen doesn't ruin it.

Well, if you're talking about Chuck, don't worry.

The only person he wants to poison is himself.

You talked to Chuck? No.

I don't care.

I don't even wanna know what he said.

I've been waiting all summer to feel sparkly again, and I won't be pulled back into the darkness.

You're right.

Go live your fairy tale.

Don't worry about Chuck.

If that is Didier Ludot, tell them they should've been more prompt! Now, you this is all wrong.

I can't believe your people invented the coiffure.

Yes.

That's more like it.

I can't even see myself! Claire Von Rohr.

Gorgeous blonde.

Princeton.

Oh, and look.

Her family has a house by ours in Trancoso.

Okay, yeah, she sounds great, but I-I don't get it.

What are you saying? You're gonna go on a date with her.

Well, I thought the whole point was to be available.

The point was for Dan not to be.

You have to have somebody fabulous on your arm so Serena doesn't think that you spent the whole summer pining for her.

Here, let me call okay, listen, I appreciate the gesture, but you don't know Serena Van Der Woodsen.

Not just any hot girl is gonna spark her jealousy.

So what are you saying? You have a better option? Louis, merci pour tout No.

I can't do any more of these prince and pauper games.

I'm sorry, madame.

Monsieur simply asked me to escort you for one final touch before the gala.

Would you like to come with me to Harry Winston? Would I? Is there some business you need to attend to before we go? Nothing I have any interest in.

Escort away.

Blair, call me back.

Remember when I told you not to worry about Chuck? Well, I was wrong.

Spotted one American leaving Paris.

Au revoir, I'enfant terrible.

B.

, you know I wouldn't bother you if it wasn't serious.

I need your help.

Finally.

Inspector chevalier, of course.

Okay, I'll be right there.

It's beautiful.

I mean, of course, they all are.

Monsieur Grimaldi would want me to be sure it was perfect.

Like that.

Carats, clarity, charisma.

Not that I expect Louis to get me a ring so soon, but This is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

I am sorry.

This ring has already been sold.

Shouldn't you be out dealing with your own issues instead of hunting me down? I didn't even know you were here.

Why are you here? Why are you? I see that you have found monsieur Bass' stolen property.

Mr.

Bass' property? The ring is his? That's why I'm here.

Inspector chevalier asked me to claim it.

The thieves couldn't pawn such a valuable piece at their usual haunts in Prague, so they came to Paris to try to return it for the cash.

Harry Winston knew monsieur Bass was the original purchaser.

That's when they called us.

And the body you saw was one of the thieves.

So why was Chuck's blood on the wallet? Monsieur Bass would not let go of the ring.

He fought them hard, so they shot him.

Chuck was shot? Let me explain What the hell, man? You told Vanessa I had feelings for her? I just thought you two were connecting.

Why are we whispering? Is she still here? Yeah, she's yeah, just just keep whispering.

Okay.

Look, you guys spent all day together, just the two of you.

So? Just because things were great doesn't give you the right to lie to her about me.

Was it a lie? This is about Serena.

It is, isn't it? Okay, I wouldn't have said anything to Vanessa if you hadn't lied about getting that text.

What text? When's the last time you checked your phone? Obviously not as recently as you did.

Oh, man.

Yeah, I'm sorry.

It's from Serena.

I thought you saw it.

I got the same one.

Same one what? Um Uh, it it's a text from Serena.

Yeah.

So she's interested in both of you? Yeah, that's kind of what it seems like.

Yeah, or she's interested in one of us, and just wants to, like, let the other one down easy maybe.

Oh.

Is that why you told me Dan had feelings? Yeah.

I'm I'm sorry, Vanessa.

Oh, my God.

How stupid can I be to think you'd actually put Serena behind you? Vanessa, I'm Surprise! It's time for an extreme nursery makeover.

You know that ring was meant for you.

He was gonna propose to you on top of the empire state building.

I can't care about that.

It doesn't change what he did instead Jenny Humphrey.

B.

, I know how much he hurt you.

He knows how much he hurt you.

That's why he signed over the empire and everything he owns to my mom.

Well, hopefully she can run it without entering the human flesh trade.

Blair, he's changing his name.

His landlady said he's on his way to the train station.

This is Chuck we're talking about.

He really could just disappear.

If you're so torn up about it, stop him.

You and I both know you're the only one that can do that.

If you'll excuse me, I have a ball to attend.

Blair.

Blair, he almost died holding onto that ring and to the hope of you.

I forgave him for something that no one else in the world would ever get over.

Then he turned around and did the one thing he knew I could never let go.

But you don't need to forgive him.

You don't even need to talk to him again after today.

But I know you, and you will always regret it if you do nothing and just let him disappear.

I'm sorry.

I know.

The truth is, I don't even know how I feel about Serena.

I just I want a clear shot at finding out without I you don't have to say it.

Yeah.

How do you feel about her? I was in the middle of trying to figure that out when I was interrupted by the arrival of Georgina's swollen belly.

It was kinda kinda hard to focus after that.

I'll take your word for it.

You know, and being with Vanessa even if it is thanks to your meddling felt good.

And all of our problems from last year Tisch, whatever they just feel really, really small now.

Too bad she hates you.

Yeah, maybe.

Or maybe it's for the best.

I don't know.

Anyway, Serena gets back tomorrow.

What are we gonna do? I knew it was too good to be true.

Who is she? Just because you're dressed poorly doesn't mean you're not Chuck Bass.

Why would I want to be him? You should've told me you got shot.

I'm surprised you didn't sh**t me yourself.

I have, many times, in my dreams.

The good ones.

But if you were really hurt, I would want to know.

When I woke up, my I.

D.

Was gone.

Nobody knew who I was.

Nobody was coming to look for me.

I realized I might be alive, but Chuck Bass didn't have to be.

Changing your name doesn't change who you are.

It's a good start, a chance to live simply, earn people's respect, maybe become a person someone could love.

Someone did love you.

And You owe it to her and everyone else you're leaving behind not to run away, which is what you're doing.

And I don't think that great man you're talking about wanting to be is a coward.

I think he would face up to what he did.

I destroyed the only thing I ever loved.

I don't love you anymore.

But it takes more than even you to destroy Blair Waldorf.

Your world would be easier if I didn't come back.

That's true.

But it wouldn't be my world without you in it.

It doesn't feel right to be in New York without you.

Did the plane ride back to reality land you on either Nate or Dan? Not exactly.

How could you spend seven hours on a plane with a library of romantic comedies and not find clarity? Trust me, I tried.

I even made a list of pros and cons.

Dan good shoulder to cry on.

Nate good shoulders.

Well, as long as you promise that Gossip Girl won't find out before I do.

I have a poll to win.

I promise.

How are you? Well, I ate too many meringues at lunch, but talking to Chuck made me realize what I want, too.

Good.

Well, I hope you get it then.

Merci, mon amie.

Thank you for calling me.

And you're right.

I'm sorry.

It was wrong for me to interfere.

Well, what was wrong was for me to hand over control of my life to a beautiful girl I just met in a restaurant.

Seriously, what was up with that? I'm kidding.

Blame all here.

No more life coach.

Friends? Friends.

I'd like to apologize to Dan as well.

I know this might actually sound weird, but I'm I'm glad that yesterday happened.

Why? Because after your publicly broadcast pajama party with Serena, you thought I needed more humiliation? No.

No.

Because last night when I read on "Gossip Girl" that Serena had boarded a plane home, I didn't care.

All I could think about was making things right with you.

Now whatever's happened in the past right here, right now I wanna be with you.

I hope your calling me means your business is complete.

It is.

I'm sorry I distracted you from your parents' ball.

In Paris, there's always another ball.

The Sarkozys are saluting Jerry Lewis tomorrow night, if you're not otherwise engaged.

There's nothing I'd rather do than salute Jerry Lewis.

But I can't live in this fairy tale.

I promise this is not a story for little girls.

But I've been using it to run away from my real life on the Upper East Side.

Someone there did something for me that I have to honor.

Will I ever see you again? You can always come find me.

It's Vivier.

It's worth a hell of a lot more than a glass slipper.

Look, Milo, you have a nursery.

Isn't it beautiful? It is.

He's a lucky boy.

Rufus! Is this the David Netto crib that I ordered? Oh, it's Dan and Jenny's.

I got it out of storage.

I wouldn't want my grandson sleeping in anything else.

I couldn't agree with you more.

What changed your mind? You.

I'll never be sure if Georgina's telling me the whole truth, but Dan is my son, and I'm not gonna bail on him.

And if I'm wrong, how much time have I lost with this little guy 'cause I let my suspicions get the better of me? Aw.

Here.

I'm gonna go cancel the other crib.

Would you take him? Okay.

Sure.

Hello, buddy.

Thank you.

Milo, I think you have the Humphrey jaw.

Mom! Hey! Serena.

Hi! Oh! Darling, what are you doing here? Laryssa told me where you were.

I came straight from the airport.

Well, we have a surprise for you.

Great, but first, I wanna find Dan and Nate.

Okay.

Find me? I'm right here.

Dan! And Vanessa.

Hey! Hey, Serena.

Nate.

Juliet.

Hi.

Hi.

Nice to meet you.

Hey, Serena.

Rufus and baby? This is Milo.

He's my son.

Son? You saw me four months ago.

If you thought I was pregnant, then I'm offended.

Okay, is someone gonna help fill me in? Not it.

Yeah, I-I-I will explain everything.

Just, uh, just sit down.

I gotta get him a bottle.

Uh, I'll get it.

With Dan spotted kissing Vanessa and Nate's early morning coffees with a new blonde, it looks like the oddsmakers have taken a beating.

Serena Van Der Woodsen will be walking onto Columbia's campus single.

This poll is now closed, and nobody won.

So when I grabbed your hand back there, you seemed to like it.

Was that just a part of the act, or do I actually have a shot at a date? You've been over Serena for, like, seven minutes.

You're not ready for me yet.

And when I am? You know how to find me.

Just as every summer ends, all tourists come home, all dreamers wake up, and new problems are born.

What's all this? Oh, it was laying around the nursery.

I thought I'd put it into a baby book for Dan.

That's a good idea.

Oh, is this Milo's hospital bracelet? Yeah.

Look how tiny his wrist was.

Huh.

Either this is a mistake or Or what? Milo's bracelet says his blood type is o-negative.

That's a universal donor.

That's not common.

Rufus, enough conspiracy theories.

Look, the closest you've been to medical school is having a Lincoln hawk song licensed for "Chicago hope.

" When Dan got his appendix out as a kid, I banked some blood just in case something went wrong.

He's a.

B.

Positive, same as me.

Okay, so Georgina is type o.

I'm sure she is.

Likely, so is Milo's real father.

And just like that, a pretty girl's ugly secret is revealed.

I had to improvise, but it's done.

I'll see you soon, and we'll talk about what's next.

Take care.

Hang in there.

I miss you.

When you didn't come home last night, I assumed you'd left with that girl.

I owe you an apology.

I don't expect you to understand, but where I'm from, people lie and cheat and destroy whoever gets in their way.

I did it better than any of them.

When you dragged me in from the alley, you didn't just save my life.

You gave me the hope of a new one.

Well, the you I've been living with never did anything to be ashamed of.

I hope I hope you'll bring some of him with you back to your world.

I fully intend to If you'll come with me.

To New York? You got me a ticket? We don't need tickets.

I'm Chuck Bass.

But no matter what the new season brings, we'll always have Paris.

Bisou bisou, Gossip Girl.

[bunniefuu]

(OG version)


WOMAN:
Where has she been?

GOSSIP GIRL:
And who am I?

That's one secret I'll never tell.

You know you love me. XOXO...

...Gossip Girl.

Summer is coming to a close,
and as everyone knows...

...Paris, like the Upper East Side,
empties out in August...

...leaving behind only the tourists
and the dreamers...

...lamenting the imminent return
to real life.

I can't believe it's almost time
to go back to New York already.

I know. And you haven't made
your Sophie's Choice...

...between Brooklyn
and the Upper East Side. What?

If you go back with an uncertain heart,
there will be drama and disaster for all.

It's like choosing between éclairs
and napoleons.

-They're both delicious.
-Except Humphrey's a doughnut.

I would love to stay
and talk patisserie...

...but I have to get ready for my date.

What? You got Louis
to give you a second chance?

B, that's great.

To prove I care
about more than his title...

...I've planned a day of polite interaction
with the proletariat.

Think Diana, princess of the people.
Obviously, I'll wear gloves.

-Obviously.
-Well, I'm off...

...to buy gently worn items
in the 12th.

And don't worry, not even you choosing
a Humphrey will ruin my date.

Nothing will.

[BOTH SPEAKING IN FRENCH]

-Hi, Mom.
-I'm sorry to bother you...

...on your last day, Serena. I got a very
upsetting call from the Paris police.

If it's about Blair pushing me in
the fountain, I'm not pressing charges.

They pulled a body out of the river
and found Charles' wallet.

Oh, my God.
You don't think it's him, do you?

Well, it would be a lot easier not to
panic if someone had heard from him...

...or he had been paying
the Empire bills.

Listen, sweetheart...

...they need a family member
to identify the body.

If it's too much,
I will be on the next flight.

No. I'm here. I can do it.

Thank you.

Listen, let's keep this between us.

I don't wanna worry anyone until
we know for sure what's really going on.

Yeah, I agree.

-I'm sorry for the seven-hour-long story.
-Are you kidding?

Serena took her best friend's
boyfriend's virginity...

...ran away to boarding school,
bounced from guy to guy...

...until dating
your married congressman cousin...

...fell in love with you,
and then cheated on you...

-...with your friend who's also her ex?
-Yeah.

The only thing that would make it better
is if one of those boyfriends...

-...turned out to be her brother.
-Does stepbrother count? Ha, ha.

The life of Serena van der Woodsen
is the most complicated...

...Jane Austen novel ever.

Aren't you glad you've finally reached
the last chapter?

[NATE SCOFFS]

I haven't even responded yet.

Things between us, they never
really ended, they just stopped.

And instead of dealing with them,
I just--

-You little-black-booked the pain away?
NATE: Exactly.

Well, do you wanna get back together
with her?

I don't know. It would be nice
if I were the one deciding, not her.

JULIET: In that case,
the first thing you need to do...

...is eliminate the competition.

What was his name again?

Dan's not the competition, all right?
He's my friend.

Besides, for all I know,
he's not even interested in her anymore.

And what happens if it's too late
by the time you find out?

Look, I can help.

Let me be your life coach
for the next 24 hours...

...and I promise you
you will be in a place...

...where you're the one
making the choice.

Brooklyn, you say?

Why don't we just both go home,
shower, get dressed...

...and I'll meet you there.

-Sounds good.
-Good.

The body was in no condition
for fingerprints...

...but we found this.

That's his.

We're testing the blood on the wallet.

Do you need a moment
to gather yourself?

No amount of time
will ever make this okay.

[SIGHS]

Five more minutes.

As pleasurable
as those 300 seconds sound...

...your uncle was generous enough...

...to help the strange American
you brought home from Prague.

I don't wanna be late
for my first day on the job.

One thing I'll miss about
taking care of you after the sh**ting...

...will be spending all day
in bed together.

I couldn't have enjoyed
being saved more.

I'm just happy to be
taking care of you now.

I know a way
you could take care of me right now.

I wouldn't be able
to tear myself away.

Then what would your uncle think?

You're a good man, Henry Prince.
Too good.

[SINGING] This loft is your loft
This loft is my loft

Where's your Aunt Jenny?
She moved to Hudson

She wears leggings--

[LAUGHING]

Wow, I did not need to see
or hear that.

Well, I'm doing the best I can.
Who's this?

This is Juliet Sharp.
She's a new friend.

-Pleasure to meet you, Dan.
DAN: Hi.

-Hope you don't mind me tagging along.
-No, Vanessa's supposed to be here.

And Georgina's at the spa. And Milo
has not been taking his bottle...

...all morning. Oh, buddy.
I think he's kind of mad at me.

-You wanna hold him, Nate?
-You don't expect me to sing?

-Just make sure you prop his neck up.
-Oh, he smells funny.

-Maybe he just needs a woman's voice.
-Okay.

Whatever you were singing
was definitely not that.

Ask him, like we agreed.

Come here. Yeah. You're so cute.

She's not out of Chuck's
little black book.

No. No, she, uh, sure isn't.

-So have you heard from Serena lately?
-Uh, no. No, I haven't.

I would assume she's still in Paris,
or at Brown already.

Actually, Gossip Girl
said she's going to Columbia.

-She's coming back to the city?
NATE: That's what the blast said.

-You not okay with that?
-No, no. I'm fine with it, I guess.

I'm just surprised
she didn't say anything to me about it.

-But if she didn't say anything to you....
JULIET: Dan, can you grab a diaper?

Yeah. Yeah, I'll do it.

[SIGHS]

What is it?

Well, he said
he hadn't heard from her.

Looks like Dan's playing a game
with you.

Now, do you wanna win
or do you wanna lose?

I suppose it's worth missing you...

...if it means staying in a place
where you don't have nightmares.

And you look very handsome
in your work clothes.

Ha, ha. Well, I look forward
to you removing them...

...after an honest day's work.

BOTH:
Bye.

GOSSIP GIRL: They say
it's easy to forget your troubles...

...when the weather's warm...

...but all it takes is one fall breeze
to blow reality right back in your face.

[WOMAN & MAN SPEAKING IN FRENCH]

What are you doing? Suddenly,
we're stopping for pedestrians?

GOSSIP GIRL:
Watch out, Blair.

He who sows the wind
reaps the storm.

Next time, I promise
we'll do shoes and vintage...

...and not just health-food stores.

Aw, let me see that beautiful boy.

Well, you girls seem to have bonded.

We had a nice talk.

-Hey.
-Vanessa, you're amazing with him.

-She's a baby whisperer.
VANESSA: Living on a commune...

...you clock
a lot of babysitting hours. Right?

I get what you're doing
and it's not exactly subtle.

The goal is to take him
out of the equation.

-Not by using Vanessa.
-She's still totally in love with him.

She's hurt by what happened last spring
and she's looking to see...

-...how he really feels.
-She told you that?

She didn't have to.

I'm not trying to ruin people's lives.

Vanessa and Dan are great people.

And from what I hear,
they made a great couple too.

Yeah. Okay. I will. I love you too. Bye.

-"I love you, Nate," or "I love you, Dan"?
-I love you, Mom.

That's all right
now that I'm an egalitarian.

I'll accept it even if you choose Dan.
And not just because he's ahead...

-...in the Gossip Girl poll.
-Gossip Girl has a poll?

Honestly, I haven't even
thought about it.

B, I went to the morgue today.

-What is that, a sex club?
-A place where they keep dead bodies.

I had to identify one
because he had Chuck's ID.

-Don't worry, it wasn't him.
-I'm not worried.

But, Blair, I just hung up with my mom.
Chuck is missing.

Well, consider him found. He was
on the Rue de Charenton an hour ago.

Wait, you saw him? Here?

Gossip Girl said I was in Paris.
Where else would he be?

The police are looking everywhere. He
hasn't paid an Empire bill all summer.

-His assets are about to be frozen.
-I could care less about his "Bassets."

He's probably filtering his finances
through some foreign government...

...so that I won't know he's stalking me.

Well, what did he say
when you saw him?

Nothing. He limped away
and I kept driving.

-That doesn't sound very stalkerish.
BLAIR: It's Chuck.

It's probably part
of some elaborate scheme.

He did have blood on his wallet
and you saw him limping.

Don't you think we should
make sure he's okay?

I'm sorry he pissed off
the wrong pickpocket...

...but I've been waiting for this date all
summer. I'm not gonna let him ruin it.

-Louis would understand if you're late.
-Look, I can't talk to him, S.

You don't know what it was like
seeing him...

...even through the car window.

Trust me, the only thing
wrong with Chuck...

...is that I'm gonna
be happy without him.

Your oysters, Henry. Here.

[IN FRENCH]

BOTH:
Hey.

I thought you might be ready
for a break.

I have to ask.

[IN FRENCH]

[SPEAKING IN FRENCH]

Your first day made me believe
not all American are lazy.

I'll see you tomorrow. Enjoy Paris.

[SPEAKING IN FRENCH]

EVA:
What is wrong?

-Are you mad at me?
-No. You're perfect.

I was just thinking maybe
this isn't the right place for us after all.

Why?

Is working with Uncle Alphonse
so horrible?

It's not the job. It's Paris.

But you loved it this morning.
And you slept through the night...

-...for the first time in weeks.
-True, but I credit you with all of that.

I think we could live anywhere
and be happy.

I hear India is amazing.

For Francois and Salma, maybe...

...but we can barely afford
the bus to Lorraine.

I may have a way to figure out
the finances.

Well, that was an interesting call.

-Was that Paris? News about Chuck?
-No. Dr. Feiner from Lenox Hill.

Unfortunately, he cannot discuss
Milo's medical records...

...with anyone other than his parents.

I was hoping to get more information,
make sure this guy is a doctor...

...not some sex-phone operator
that crazy girl paid off to lie to us.

-Oh, now who's crazy?
-Georgina went for a spa weekend...

...right after Dan signed
the birth certificate.

We need to get our own
paternity test done...

-...while she's gone.
-She said we could.

It's not like we have to sneak around
behind her back.

Now, whatever you might believe...

...your son is in Brooklyn,
struggling to take care of a baby.

So you can sit here
and brood all by yourself...

...or you can come with me and help me
turn Jenny's room into a nursery...

...so that child has a proper place
to sleep. Ahem.

Well, you know where I'll be
if you change your mind.

Have you ever seen anyone
sleep so deeply?

I know you said things
were complicated...

-...but you and Dan really seem to click.
-We do.

Or did. Before the thing with Serena.

You have to tell her.

[SIGHS]

Dan made Nate promise not to tell you,
so you can't say anything...

...but he does have feelings for you.

-He told us himself.
-Really?

You should go for it, yeah.

Mm-hm.

My friend saw him around
this morning.

He has an intimate relationship
with alcohol.

I figured I'd check all the bars first.

He doesn't drink here, but he looks
very much like my new waiter.

Is he American, from New York?

All I know is he came to Paris
from, uh, Prague with my niece.

Well, if he's who I think he is,
he could be in trouble.

I need to talk to him.

He doesn't do much talking,
especially about himself.

Please, I've been to every bar
in the neighborhood...

...he's my stepbrother
and I'm worried about him.

If you have any idea
where he is, please....

Tell me you didn't rob a bank.

Ha, ha. My grandfather left me
a small inheritance. I've been waiting...

-...for the right thing to spend it on.
-It doesn't look small.

It's enough to get us to London,
then Kerala.

-Are you sure you wanna do this?
-I've never been more sure of anything.

Is it hot or cold in Kerala?

Do we need shots?

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

And what do I pack?

-Chuck, it's you.
-Who's here?

Oh. Hi, I'm Serena van der Woodsen.

I'm really sorry to show up like this.

I've just been looking
for Chuck everywhere.

Henry, who's she talking about?

I don't know.
The man you're looking for is not here.

GOSSIP GIRL:
Holy Bruce Wayne, Batman.

It's one thing to hide who you really are,
it's another to pretend you don't exist.

I had no idea you had such
deep appreciation for street food.

I'm quite surprised
your favorite restaurant...

...is on Rue de la Huchette.

Yes, well,
the masterpieces of the Louvre...

...don't compare
to the simple pleasures of the kebab.

[CHUCKLES]

Paris is complicated and beautiful,
much like you.

You know what's even better
than street food?

Street artists.

I heard there's
an amazing bucket drummer...

...at the Pont Neuf metro station.
Should we investigate?

Ha, ha. Well, I was thinking more
of a chauffeured drive in the country...

...to the ball my parents are throwing
for the Givenchy exposition.

Givenchy was Audrey's favorite.

Does that mean you'll allow me to
escort you to Château de Haroué?

Nothing would make me happier.

Except maybe saving this for later.

Hey. Where's Milo?

I gave him a bottle
and put him down in your bedroom.

You know,
he should really have a nursery.

Yeah, I know, I've been meaning
to get to that.

-You hungry?
-Always.

I can't remember the last time I ate
something that didn't come out of a box.

-Did you do all this?
-I thought you deserved a bottle too.

You've been under so much pressure,
I can't even imagine.

I really missed you.

I missed you too.

I know that I haven't gotten
a full night's sleep in a while...

...I don't really know
what I'm saying half the time...

...but I'm so grateful
that you've been helping me.

And after everything that, you know,
I put you through...

...which I haven't even apologized for.

-Or even-- I haven't explained it--
-Stop talking.

You know I'm not good at that.

I think I can help.

-I had a feeling you'd linger.
-I'm not gonna leave.

Chuck, today I had to identify a body
that the police thought was you.

Did you do something to that man?

If it was self-defense,
they would understand.

I never touched that thief.

So is Blair right?

-Is this one of your games?
-Do I look like I'm playing?

I know what it's like
to wanna reinvent yourself.

Just because people are mad
doesn't mean you disappear.

My mom is really worried about you.

I'm sure she'll come to celebrate
my absence...

...as will all the people who've wished
me dead since I was born.

I know things were bad,
but if you don't come home...

...you'll lose The Empire,
everything you care about.

I lost the only thing I cared about.
They can have everything else.

I don't know what you told that girl...

...but you can't turn your back
on who you really are.

I'm going to see an old associate.

Picking up a passport
with my new name on it.

After today, there is no Chuck Bass.

I'm staying at Eleanor and Cyrus'
when you realize that's not true.

Wow, that was, uh....

Yeah.

I'll thank Nate the next time I see him.

Nate? I'm sorry, but--

I don't mean to be a credit hog,
but that was all me.

No, I mean,
I'm just glad that he told me.

-Told you what?
-The truth.

About what?

Okay, after I told Nate
I was nervous...

...about you still being in love with
Serena, he said that it wasn't true...

...and that you told him
you still had feelings for me.

[MILO CRYING]

And there it is.

-I'll go.
-Okay.

Perhaps it should be tilted
more comme ça.

Oh, wow. Coronation already.
The date must have gone well.

Oh, S.

We walked, we talked, we laughed.
I'd forgotten what it was like...

...to just have fun with a guy.

I'm off to meet his parents at a ball.

Just look at all the gowns he sent.
Ha, ha.

Fairy tale is back on,
as long as the evil queen doesn't ruin it.

If you're talking about Chuck, the person
he wants to poison is himself.

You talked to Chuck? No. I don't care.
I don't even wanna know what he said.

I've been waiting all summer
to feel sparkly again.

I won't be pulled back into darkness.

You're right. Go live your fairy tale.
Don't worry about Chuck.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

If that is Didier Ludot, tell them
they should have been more prompt.

Now, you. This is all wrong.

I can't believe your people
invented the coiffure.

Yes, that's more like it.

I can't even see myself.

Claire von Rohr.

Gorgeous blond. Princeton.

Oh, and look, her family
has a house by yours in Trancoso.

Okay, yeah.
She sounds great, but I don't get it.

-What are you saying?
-You're gonna go on a date with her.

-I thought the point was to be available.
-The point was for Dan not to be.

You have to have somebody fabulous
on your arm...

...so Serena doesn't think you spent
the whole the summer pining for her.

-Here, let me--
-Okay. Listen.

I appreciate the gesture, but you
don't know Serena van der Woodsen.

Not just any hot girl is gonna
spark her jealousy.

So, what are you saying?
You have a better option?

[PHONE BEEPING]

[SPEAKING IN FRENCH]

No. I can't do any more
of these prince-and-pauper games.

MAN:
I'm sorry, madame.

Monsieur asked me to escort you
for one final touch before the gala.

Would you like to come with me
to Harry Winston?

Would I?

[PHONE BEEPS]

Is there some business
you need to attend to before we go?

Um....

Nothing I have any interest in.

Escort away.

[PHONE RINGING]

Blair, call me back.

Remember when I told you
not to worry about Chuck?

Well, I was wrong.

GOSSIP GIRL:
Spotted: One American leaving Paris.

[GOSSIP GIRL SPEAKING IN FRENCH]

B, you know I wouldn't bother you
if it wasn't serious. I need your help.

[SIGHS]

[PHONE RINGS]

Finally.

Inspector Chevalier. Of course.

Okay, I'll be right there.

It's beautiful.

I mean, of course, they all are.

Monsieur Grimaldi would want me
to be sure it was perfect.

Like that.

Karats, clarity, charisma.

Not that I expect Louis
to get me a ring so soon.

But this is the most beautiful thing
I've ever seen.

I'm sorry, this ring
has already been sold.

Shouldn't you be dealing with your own
issues instead of hunting me down?

I didn't know you were here.
Why are you here?

Why are you?

I see that you have found
Monsieur Bass' stolen property.

Monsieur Bass' property?

-The ring is his?
SERENA: That's why I'm here.

Inspector Chevalier
asked me to claim it.

The thieves couldn't pawn...

...such a piece
at their usual haunts in Prague...

...so they came to Paris
to try to return it for the cash.

Harry Winston knew Mr. Bass
was the original purchaser.

That's when they called us.

And the body you saw
was one of the thieves.

So why was Chuck's blood
on the wallet?

Monsieur Bass would not let go
of the ring.

He fought them hard,
so they shot him.

Chuck was shot?

-Let me explain.
-[WHISPERING] What the hell, man?

-You told Vanessa I had feelings for her?
-[WHISPERING] You were connecting.

-Why are we whispering? She still here?
-Yeah, so just keep whispering.

Okay. Look, you guys spent
all day together, just the two of you.

So? Just because things were great
doesn't give you the right to lie to her.

Was it a lie?

-This is about Serena? It is, isn't it?
-Okay, I wouldn't have said anything...

-...if you hadn't lied about that text.
-What text?

When's the last time
you checked your phone?

Obviously not as recently as you did.

Oh, man.

Yeah, I'm sorry. It's from Serena.
I thought you saw it.

-I got the same one.
VANESSA: Same one what?

DAN [IN NORMAL VOICE]:
Um, uh....

-It's a text from Serena.
-[IN NORMAL VOICE] Yeah.

So she's interested in both of you?

Yeah, that's kind of what it seems like.

Yeah, or she's interested in one of us,
and wants to let the other down easy.

Oh. Is that why you told me
Dan had feelings?

Yeah, I'm sorry, Vanessa.

Oh, my God. How stupid can I be...

...to think you'd actually put Serena
behind you?

Vanessa, I'm--

Surprise. It's time
for an extreme nursery makeover.

That ring was meant for you.
He was gonna propose...

-...on top of the Empire State Building.
-I can't care.

It doesn't change what he did instead.
Jenny Humphrey.

B, I know how much he hurt you.
He knows how much he hurt you.

That's why he signed over The Empire
and everything he owns to my mom.

Well, hopefully, she can run it
without entering the human-flesh trade.

Blair, he's changing his name.
His landlady said...

...he's on his way to the train station.
This is Chuck.

He really could just disappear.

If you're so torn up about it, stop him.

You and I both know
you're the only one that can do that.

If you'll excuse me,
I have a ball to attend.

[GATE BUZZING]

Blair. Blair, he almost died holding on
to that ring and to the hope of you.

I forgave him for something...

...that no one else in the world
would ever get over.

Then he turned around and did the
one thing he knew I could never let go.

But you don't need to forgive him.

You don't even need to talk to him
after today.

I know you. And you will always regret it
if you do nothing and let him disappear.

LILY:
Hi, Mr. Handsome.

[LILY CLICKING]

Oh, yes.

Yeah. Ah. Yum.

[NATE SIGHS]

I'm sorry.

I know.

The truth is, I don't even know
how I feel about Serena...

...I just wanted a clear shot
at finding out without--

I-- You don't have to say it.

Yeah.

How do you feel about her?

I was trying to figure that out
when I was interrupted...

...by Georgina's swollen belly.

-It was kind of hard to focus after that.
-I'll take your word for it.

You know, and being with Vanessa...

...even if it is thanks to your meddling,
felt good.

You know, all of our problems
from last year, Tisch, whatever...

...they just feel really, really small now.

-Too bad she hates you.
-Ha, ha.

Yeah, maybe. Maybe it's for the best,
I don't know.

Anyway, Serena gets back tomorrow.

What are we gonna do?

I knew it was too good to be true.

Who is she?

Just because you're dressed poorly
doesn't mean you're not Chuck Bass.

Why would I wanna be him?

You should have told me you got shot.

I'm surprised
you didn't sh**t me yourself.

I have. Many times, in my dreams.

The good ones.

But if you were really hurt,
I would wanna know.

When I woke up, my ID was gone.

Nobody knew who I was,
nobody was coming to look for me.

I realized I might be alive,
but Chuck Bass doesn't have to be.

Changing your name
doesn't change who you are.

It's a good start.

A chance to live simply,
earn people's respect...

...maybe become a person
someone could love.

Someone did love you.

And you owe it to her...

...and everyone else you're
leaving behind, not to run away.

Which is what you're doing.

And I don't think that great man
you're talking about wanting to be...

...is a coward.

I think he would face up to what he did.

I destroyed the only thing I ever loved.

[SIGHS]

I don't love you anymore.

But it takes more than even you
to destroy Blair Waldorf.

Your world would be easier
if I didn't come back.

That's true.

But it wouldn't be my world
without you in it.

SERENA: It doesn't feel right
to be in New York without you.

Did the plane ride back to reality
land you on Nate or Dan?

-Not exactly.
-How could you spend seven hours...

...on a plane with a library of
romantic comedies and not find clarity?

I tried. I even made a list
of pros and cons.

Dan, good shoulder to cry on.
Nate, good shoulders.

Well, as long as you promise Gossip Girl
won't find out before I do.

I have a poll to win.

I promise. How are you?

I ate too many meringues at lunch.

But talking to Chuck
made me realize what I want too.

Good. Well, I hope you get it, then.

[SPEAKING IN FRENCH]

JULIET:
Thank you for calling me.

And you're right, I'm sorry,
it was wrong for me to interfere.

What was wrong
was for me to hand control of my life...

...to a beautiful girl I just met
in a restaurant.

Seriously.

What was up with that? I'm kidding.

Blame all here. No more life coach.

Friends?

Friends.

I'd like to apologize to Dan as well.

I know this might actually sound weird,
but I'm glad that yesterday happened.

Why? After your publicly broadcast
pajama party with Serena you thought...

-...I needed more humiliation?
-No. No.

Because last night
when I read on Gossip Girl...

...that Serena had boarded
a plane home, I didn't care.

All I could think about
was making things right with you.

Whatever's happened in the past,
right here, right now...

...I wanna be with you.

I hope your calling me
means your business is complete.

It is. I'm sorry it distracted me
from your parents' ball.

In Paris, there's always another ball.

The Sarkozys are saluting Jerry Lewis
tomorrow night.

If you're not otherwise engaged....

There's nothing I'd rather do than
salute Jerry Lewis.

But I can't live in this fairy tale.

[SIGHS]

I promise this is not a story
for little girls.

But I've been using it to run away
from my real life on the Upper East Side.

Someone there did something
for me that I have to honor.

-Will I ever see you again?
-You can always come find me.

It's a Vivier. It's worth
a hell of a lot more than a glass slipper.

[CHUCKLES]

[SIGHS]

Look, Milo. You have a nursery.
Isn't it beautiful?

-It is. He's a lucky boy.
-Rufus.

-Is this the David Netto crib I ordered?
-It's Dan and Jenny's.

I got it out of storage. Wouldn't want
my grandson sleeping in anything else.

I couldn't agree more.

-What changed your mind?
-You.

I'll never be sure
Georgina's telling the truth...

...but Dan is my son.
I'm not gonna bail on him.

If I'm wrong, how much time
have I lost with this guy...

...because I let my suspicions
get the better of me?

Aw, here. I'm gonna cancel
the other crib. Would you take him?

-Sure. Hello, buddy.
-Hi.

Milo, I think you have the Humphrey jaw.

-Mom, hey.
LILY: Serena, hi.

-Oh, darling, what are you doing here?
-Laryssa told me where you were.

-I came straight from the airport.
-Well, we have a surprise for you.

Great, but first,
I wanna find Dan and Nate.

Find me? I'm right here.

Dan. And Vanessa. Hey. Ha, ha.

-Hey, Serena.
-Nate.

-Juliet.
-Hi.

Hi. Nice to meet you.

RUFUS:
Hey, Serena.

Rufus and baby?

Hey, buddy.
This is Milo. He's my son.

Son.

You saw me four months ago.
If you thought I was pregnant...

...I'm offended.

Okay, is someone gonna help
fill me in?

-Not it.
DAN: I will explain everything.

Just sit down. I gotta get him a bottle.

I'll get it.

GOSSIP GIRL:
With Dan spotted kissing Vanessa...

...and Nate's early morning coffees
with a new blond...

...it looks like the oddsmakers
have taken a beating.

Serena van der Woodsen will be walking
onto Columbia's campus single.

This poll is now closed,
and nobody won.

So when I grabbed your hand,
you seemed to like it.

Is that just a part of the act,
or do I actually have a shot at a date?

You've been over Serena
for like seven minutes.

-You're not ready for me yet.
-And when I am?

You know how to find me.

GOSSIP GIRL: Just as every summer
ends, all tourists come home...

...all dreamers wake up,
and new problems are born.

-What's all this?
-It was laying around the nursery.

-I thought I'd put it into a baby book.
-That's a good idea.

-Oh, is this Milo's hospital bracelet?
-Yeah, look how tiny his wrist was.

-Either this is a mistake or--
-Or what?

Milo's bracelet says his blood type
is O negative.

That's a universal donor, not common.

Enough conspiracy theories. The closest
you've been to medical school...

...is having a Lincoln Hawk song
licensed for Chicago Hope.

When Dan got his appendix out...

...I banked some blood
just in case something went wrong.

He's AB positive, same as me.

-Okay, so Georgina is type O.
-I'm sure she is.

Likely, so is Milo's real father.

GOSSIP GIRL: And just like that,
a pretty girl's ugly secret is revealed.

I had to improvise, but it's done.

I'll see you soon,
and we'll talk about what's next.

Take care. Hang in there.

I miss you.

When you didn't come home,
I assumed you'd left with that girl.

I owe you an apology.
I don't expect you to understand.

Look, where I'm from,
people lie and cheat...

...and destroy
whoever gets in their way.

I did it better than any of them.

When you dragged me in,
you didn't just save my life...

...you gave me the hope of a new one.

Well, the you I've been living with
never did anything to be ashamed of.

I hope-- I hope you'll bring some of him
with you back to your world.

I fully intend to.

If you'll come with me.

To New York?

-You got me a ticket?
-We don't need tickets.

I'm Chuck Bass.

GOSSIP GIRL: But no matter
what the new season brings...

...we'll always have Paris.

Bisou, bisou, Gossip Girl.