4x13 - Damien Darko

[bunniefuu]

Bass Industries.

My car is just outside.

I'll wait five minutes before taking off.

What in the hell were you trying to do? Get Ben out of prison.

What, by putting me in? The information about Ben in the affidavit can never get out, ever.

I'm here to see Ben Donovan.

I'm sorry.

You just missed him.

Mr.

Donovan was released.

Are you free for coffee? I'm free for anything.

Have you come to recruit another virgin to be your drug mule? I would say, why, are you available? And who am I? That's a secret I'll never tell.

You know you love me.

X.

O.

X.

O.

, Gossip Girl.

Brr, Upper East siders.

It's cold outside.

And as February approaches, we need to find ways to fight frostbite.

Some keep warm the old-fashioned way.

Who knew what a turn-on it would be to sleep with a woman trying to buy my company? As long as we play clean in business, I'm happy to keep it dirty between the sheets.

Some seek the comfort of loved ones.

And some try to keep away the gloom What are you doing up this early? By painting things bright.

Breakfast with Ben.

And don't lecture.

He's a nice person a nice, innocent person who deserves a friend after what my mom did to him.

A lot of mascara for a friend, but you can have breakfast with whomever you want.

I don't judge.

Well, today I don't, because today everything is new and fresh and golden.

Today my internship begins.

You're finally going to tell me where it is? It's too important.

I can't jinx it.

I'll tell you after my first day, but I must go.

But you realize most offices aren't even open this early unless you're interning at a doughnut shop? I want to be early.

What is wrong with being early? Catch the worm! Okay, I'll see you at the "W" party tonight.

And good luck at your new job at the mayor's office or the Whitney or CIA or whatever.

This this is like living with Don Draper.

Lily, again, thank you so much for getting me this opportunity.

Just so you know, it may not be what don't worry.

I realize most internships are about exploitation and espresso runs.

I'm just happy to get a chance to be around writing again.

Well, then you're welcome, Daniel.

How about a celebratory breakfast? Uh, you know, I-I can't.

I'm super busy.

I gotta I gotta limber up for all this bootlicking I'm gonna be doing, but thank you.

Okay.

Bye.

Well, at least one of our kids appreciates me.

Lily.

I get Ben out on parole, but Serena and Eric continue to treat me like I'm toxic.

I know you did what you could, but Ben's still gonna have a criminal record.

Give them time.

Everything I do or have ever done is for my children.

And someday they'll realize that.

Right? Hmm.

Hmm.

No, please, let me.

I asked.

You got last time.

I'm sorry I had to leave so abruptly.

My, uh, friend Edward was waiting for me.

How's life on his sofa? Pullout couch beats a prison cot.

Serena The reason I asked you here is 'cause I heard from an old college friend.

He's starting an organic farm in Ithaca, wants me to move up there.

Wow.

Ithaca it's supposed to be beautiful.

But are you sure? Being outside all day, working with my hands after being cooped up for so long, it's kind of ideal.

Yeah.

Well, I hope we get to spend some time together before you go.

I'm leaving tomorrow.

I wanna start my new life as soon as possible.

I hope you understand.

Yeah.

Yeah, of course.

I'm sure we can, you know, write or e-mail or call or I'm really happy for you.

Take care, Serena.

Rufus, hey, you used to have a plot in a community garden, right? You gotta be kidding me.

"Scorpio Rising" was a great film.

That dreck puts the "ick" in "esoteric.

" All right, fine.

We can go see The Merchant Ivory Retrospective.

You can ensure that your delicate sensibilities aren't disturbed, and I can catch up on my sleep.

Going to movies is a one or 4-time thing.

It's not like we're friends.

I never suggested we were, but I am going to see The Joseph Beuys exhibit in Chelsea.

Oh, you are such a boy.

How could you go to that when the Degas is about to close at the Morgan? You are such a girl.

I'm gonna take a pass on the ballerinas.

Frilly dresses and tutus are not my idea of art.

Fashion is the most powerful art there is.

It's movement, design, and architecture all in one.

It shows the world who we are and who we'd like to be, just like your scarf suggests that you'd like to sell used cars.

Vanessa gave me this scarf.

Look, I-I have to go.

Stop wasting my time.

You know today is a big day for me.

So you're gonna finally tell me what internship you got? No, all right.

Well, then I won't say which one I got either.

I will see you Sunday at the Morgan.

I will wear my most fashionable toe shoes.

Don't get your hopes up.

Serena.

Hey, it's great to see you.

I heard about the Ostroff Center, and Juliet giving you the the drugs that you sold her? I had no idea what her plans were.

I wanna make sure that you're okay.

Look, I couldn't care less about clearing your conscience.

When are you gonna realize your occupation hurts people? I don't give anyone anything that they don't come looking for.

Okay, well, then I guess you're only half responsible that I almost died.

"W" stands for "way better" than I even imagined.

I'm already planning outfits in my head.

If you mean outfits for Lara stone to wear in our Meisel sh**t on Friday, I would love to hear your thoughts, but if you're dreaming about what you're gonna wear to the party tonight, think again.

I saw that movie, too, but this is real life, not some Hollywood chick flick where a girl with a scrunchie gets a makeover and triumphs in the end.

I have never owned a scrunchie.

I think I read that on your r�sum�.

Down there is the main production area, conference room, and through those doors editor in chief, Stefano Tonchi.

And how soon can I get a sit-down with him? I have some exciting new ideas that I've organized in a Powerpoint presentation.

I've been Stefano's assistant since he took over.

I've barely had five minutes alone with him.

But my research says he has an open door policy, that he's collaborative.

Doesn't mean he isn't crazy busy.

Then it sounds like he needs my help immediately.

Ah, you're all so young, so adorable.

All who? All of you interns.

But I Thought it was just me.

Thousands of applications.

These are the best of the best.

I'm the best of the best.

I'm Blair Waldorf.

Assuming that's your way of saying you're the most distinguished, ambitious student at your school, then they're all Blair Waldorfs from Princeton, Yale, Penn, and Parsons.

Here you are.

This must be our sixth and final intern.

Oh, I think there must be some mistake.

Daniel Humphrey, N.

Y.

U.

? I'm Epperly Lawrence, your supervisor.

Welcome to "w.

" Nothing says January like a brand-new cold w*r.

Hey.

Um, Mrs.

Humphrey? Oh, Jonathan, hello.

Eric left this in class the other day.

I thought he might need it.

Oh, that is so considerate.

Jonathan, how are you? I haven't seen you since you Eric and I broke up, probably.

Well, not that I see my son much these days either.

He's been with Elliot nonstop since they got back from Gstaad.

What? Elliot broke up with Eric over the holidays.

It's all anyone was talking about the first day back at school.

But Eric slept at his place last night.

Hey.

Brought you some coffee.

She looks a little lost.

Can I help you, miss? Um, no, thank you.

I'm just here to bring something to a friend, but I think I have the wrong address.

Is your friend an ex-con? Then you're in the right place.

This is a halfway house.

Focus on your work ethic, not your wardrobe.

"W" is about more than just fashion and beauty.

We do probing interviews, an art issue.

We're looking for visionaries.

Get out of here, Humphrey.

This is my world.

I can't just quit.

When Lily said cond� nast, I figured she meant "Vanity Fair" or "The New Yorker, but that doesn't mean she didn't pull every string she had on my behalf.

Turns out it's easier to get a guy paroled than it is to get a magazine internship in this town.

You don't know the difference between Rodarte and road k*ll.

You'll be guillotined.

We're interns.

I may not know couture, but I know how to collate.

And I know how to staple, so stay out of my way, or I'll use one to attach your tongue to your shoulder blade.

Blair? I'm sorry.

Dan here was just telling me how much he'd love to work for "The New Yorker.

" Oh, that's right.

You're the writer.

Maybe you could do something special for our new blog we're announcing tonight at the party books, movies, "Fashion On Film.

" This month we'll be in celebration of contemporary authors, and Lynn Hirschberg's writing the intro.

I'll be sure to introduce you.

Wow.

Thank you.

Jonathan? What are you doing here? Where were you last night? And don't say Elliot's.

I called over there and spoke to his mother.

Well, I was with a friend.

Why didn't you tell me that you two broke up? I didn't wanna share a huge fact from my life.

I wonder where I got that gene from.

Now you listen to me Lily, can I maybe talk to Eric alone? Fine.

Are you okay? What's going on with you and your mother? Oh.

Now you care.

'Cause you didn't when you dumped me.

I was angry, and rightly so, but I've always cared, and you know that.

It's my family, and and Elliot, and it's just been A rough few weeks for me.

But I missed having you in my life.

Well, I'm here now.

Uh, your mother said you guys were going to some party tonight.

Is there any chance you'd wanna bring someone along to be there for you, help keep the peace? Make fun of everyone we see? Yeah, that sounds perfect.

No, I don't know.

There.

Okay, I'll let her know.

What'd he say? These strappy zanottis would look great with your sweaty gym socks.

Epperly asked me to pull the lemon Louboutins.

Oh.

You poor lost lamb.

Let me help you.

I didn't date Serena Van Der Woodsen for two years and not come away knowing that those are Marc Jacobs, and they're mustard.

Ugh! Why does this taste like chanel no.

5? Hey, I was, uh, just getting myself a cappuccino.

I thought you might like one, too.

The nutmeg foam that's a Humphrey touch.

My dad used to own a coffee bar.

Thank you, Daniel.

That's very thoughtful.

Who's got a stapler? Give it up, Blair.

I'm actually good at this, and unlike the other interns, I know you.

Your stupid tricks won't work.

Oh, look, it's Georgina's baby.

Ow.

Where have you been? I've been calling you.

Your parole officer told me you missed another job interview.

I didn't wanna tell ya until everything was settled.

I have incredible news.

I got a job a real job, as a financial advisor in a top tier company.

Are you serious? Dad, that's great.

I never thought it would happen again the suits, the business lunches, the ability to pay my own hotel bills.

I can't stop pinching myself.

What's the firm? Thorpe Enterprises.

I'll be working with Russell Thorpe himself.

See you later, pal.

Hey, Chuck.

Did I just walk past your dad in a $2,000 suit? Seems The Captain, who could barely get an interview for a custodial position, got a big executive job with the guy trying to buy your company.

So how are you enjoying your first day? Well, what should have been perfection has now been tainted by a run-in with Brookyln's Benedict Arnold.

How am I a traitor? The only reason you're still here is 'cause no one has ratted out your attempts at sabotage to Epperly.

And the only reason you're still here is because no one's asked you, "Who's Givenchy?" Lynn Hirschberg's flight from Dublin got canceled.

I knew Stefano should've made that Colin Farrell interview a phoner instead.

Hirschberg's out.

Major disaster.

Unless someone shows up with a new author and saves the day.

Yes.

And when she does, she will shine as the best intern.

And her insipid competition will be fired.

You do realize that I know Jeremiah Harris personally, right? And you do realize that I know everyone personally, right? Okay, so then we'll both show up with our authors tonight at the party, and whoever Epperly decides is the best fit for "W" wins.

The other resigns.

I can agree to that.

It's gotta be a clean fight.

Do you understand that as a concept? No sabotage? I can't wait to see you bleeding on the rack.

But yes, no sabotage.

Hey, is Eric here? I'm supposed to take him to lunch.

Oh, he's brooding in his room.

Here.

Vanya asked me to give this to you.

What is it? Everything okay, Lily? Yes, it's nothing.

I'll deal with it later.

Oh, come on, mom.

We're all trying to move forward here.

No more secrets.

Well, it's not a secret.

In fact, I have no idea what it is or who it's from.

Then what's the big deal about opening it in front of us? This was for Ben.

"Please use this money to start a new life far away from me and my family.

" Charming, mom.

Seems Serena's getting frosty with her mother over an envelope of cold-hard cash.

Looks like not everything or everyone's on sale this January.

Well, at least now I know why Ben lied.

He doesn't wanna have anything to do with me because I'm the daughter of the person that ruined the last three years of his life and is trying to ruin the rest of it.

$30,000 would hardly ruin his life.

You said you were gonna help Ben find an apartment, not pay him to disappear.

Mom paid someone off again.

Well, we should make this a drinking game.

Ben Donovan has information that can ruin this family.

What's wrong with not wanting him around? Because he's blameless.

Because he was a wonderful teacher who can't do what he loves thanks to you, and because he deserves more.

I'm going out.

I'm right behind you.

Yeah.

Hold the elevator.

Well, I did a little Humphrey smooth talking, and Jeremiah Harris said he'd be delighted to come, so I'm just gonna add his name to the list real quick.

Oh! Well, you can put him under Lorrie Moore, my author.

He'll be most comfortable there.

I don't think so.

Before Jeremiah Harris was a novelist, he wrote film reviews for "Vanity Fair," and he had a wine column in "Bon Appetit," and Stefano also knows him from "The Times.

" So? Lorrie Moore was a 2010 finalist for the P.

E.

N.

/Faulkner Award.

True.

Maybe she is a better get.

Oh, but did I mention that Jeremiah is on the board of admissions at Williams, where Stefano's niece is applying to college? So glad you called.

Afternooners are my favorite.

I thought you said you were totally aboveboard when it comes to business.

I did, and I am.

So why did you hire my best friend's father to work for your company? The Captain? He and my dad are old friends.

My father believes in second chances, and we need someone who knows the lay of the land.

His son's my roommate.

It's an obvious conflict.

Chuck, we just met.

I had no idea who you live with.

I know that you're sensitive to this, I assure you, Thorpe Enterprises has no interest in corporate espionage.

Even so, I spoke to Nate.

The Captain's a loose Cannon.

I'd consider it a personal favor if you'd have him fired.

Now what were you saying about afternooners? Actually I just remembered I have a meeting.

Sorry, Chuck.

Your mother might be up to her old tricks, but maybe it's best for Ben to get a fresh start without you.

Maybe.

I don't know.

I just don't want to go down without a fight.

Speaking of fights, I'm at full-on w*r with Humphrey.

B.

, I know you like to turn everything into a contest, but surely Dan isn't your biggest competition at "W" All the other girls are variations on a theme, and that theme slightly lesser versions of me.

But Dan is a writer.

He makes delicious coffee.

Never mind the fact that he's not a completely horrible-looking straight guy working at a fashion magazine.

He's got the whole office buzzing.

Sounds like someone's feeling a little threatened.

Well, not for long.

My author will make his look like a monkey with a typewriter Or maybe an invisible monkey with a typewriter.

B.

, I hear scheming in your voice.

You cannot sabotage him.

Why not? I'm not gonna treat him any better than all my other enemies just because you sporadically love him.

He's not your enemy.

Earn the spotlight on your own merits.

You'll feel better.

Well, I'll call you later.

Let Ben go? Let Dan be.

Oh, picking up a late lunch for Epperly? No.

Actually, it's for you.

Don't worry.

It's not poisoned.

I wouldn't wanna win due to my rival's starvation, and I figured you were too much of a food snob to deign to eat at the commissary.

And Epperly needs me to alphabetize.

Duty calls.

Fancy seeing you here, Mr.

Donovan.

Damien Dalgaard.

I heard you went to the pokey for poking a student.

Congratulations on getting out.

Sure you've been doing a lot of celebrating, yeah? Wanna buy some party favors? So it's true.

Straitlaced academic star became a dealer.

Guilty.

I remember that paper you wrote comparing "The Wire" to "The Iliad.

" Did not intend for English comp to be an occupational training course.

Well, you always said what we learned in high school would inform our futures in unexpected ways.

Yeah, the thing with "The Wire" is the witnesses usually had evidence before they testified.

I know you were the one who said you saw me and Serena at that b&b.

I told the truth.

Nothing happened between me and Serena that night, but I went to prison anyway.

You say "potato.

" Judge says "pedophile.

" Well, it's been great catching up, Mr.

D.

, but my friend just arrived.

I'd introduce you, but you may or may not have statutorily r*ped his sister.

Might be a tad awkward.

Let's go.

Get a table.

Good job today.

I think you could be a great fit here, provided you survive.

I try and stay out of the intern drama, but I couldn't help but notice your friend Blair's a little competitive.

I don't know what you're talking about.

I admire your loyalty.

Maybe the striver thing is all an act, and maybe it's just a coincidence that my coffee tasted like her perfume.

I'm sure you know her better than I do.

Yeah, I do know her.

I know that her kindergarten yearbook quote is "the best defense is a good offense.

" Hi.

Uh, Ms.

Moore, I'm an assistant at "w," and I'm afraid there has been a terrible mix-up.

Careful, D.

, it's flu season, but nothing's more contagious than mistrust.

Uh, where's mom? She's still licking her wounds.

We were all pretty hard on her this afternoon.

I Never would have come to a party like this without her, but I needed some air.

Oh, hey, I get it.

Being in a room with a selfish manipulator can really suck the life out of you.

She's worried.

She's just trying to protect her family.

Hey.

You two have a good time.

I'll see you later.

Are you hungry? There's appetizers.

Yes, yeah.

I'm gonna I'll grab us some, yeah? Thakery, Imoon, enjoy your treats.

Um, I need to talk to you.

Hi.

Chuck Bass and no guest.

You may enter.

Blair Waldorf working the door? I got an internship at "w.

" Knowing you, you'll be editor by may.

Your plan's working.

So it seems to be.

Ben, you came.

Thank you for meeting me here.

Can we talk? Serena, I'm actually here because I saw your brother Eric with Damien Dalgaard, who we both know is a drug dealer.

No.

No, no.

Eric hates Damien, and he doesn't do drugs, so there there must be some sort of explanation.

Jonathan.

Hey.

By any chance, have you seen Eric? Eric? No.

The guy should become a magician.

He disappeared.

I thought we were here on a date.

I guess I'm getting played once again.

I'm sorry.

A date? What about Elliot? Elliot dumped him.

He didn't tell you? He promised me he was over his Jenny Humphrey phase.

I guess he was wrong.

Or maybe I was, for believing him.

It'll be okay.

Come on.

Let's find him.

Lorrie is a bit late, but she'll be here any minute.

I hope Jeremiah brought his "a" game.

Oh, he's not here yet either.

Any reason you think he might be late? The guy is a famous recluse.

He might not show up at all.

It's your fault for picking him.

My fa oh, you've got ta be kidding me.

We said no sabotaging.

What are you talking about? Jeremiah.

Hi.

Mr.

Humphrey, show me to the bar.

I warn you, if the krug is warmer than 55 degrees, I'm leaving.

Jeremiah Harris? Epperly Lawrence.

Yes.

How do you do? Daniel told me you were in a bit of a bind.

Nice.

Let's get you a glass of champagne.

I'll tell you all about our plans.

O.

M.

G.

I was just poleaxed by a poor person.

Fancy seeing you here.

Chuck, this is Stuart Fuji.

He's in the film business.

Stuart, can I borrow her for a moment? What are you doing with that bore? Let's get out of here.

Actually, I'm having a nice time.

Stuart understands that when I say I'm telling the truth, I am.

Raina, you're trying to take my company.

How can I just trust you? You'd think less of me if I did.

I couldn't think less of you than I do right now.

Sorry.

I wouldn't be like this if it wasn't my father's legacy.

Stakes are too high to take a chance on trust.

Hey.

It's just business.

From now on, I don't even know if we have that to discuss.

Maybe Eric went home.

He doesn't really like parties anyway.

He can't be buying from Damien.

Come on.

Your sister just clocked us.

Okay, wh-what do we do? Just go with me on this one.

Well, I'm gonna go get a drink.

Would you like anything, babe? Uh So you're Damien's "babe" now? You Williamsburg weasel! I can't believe you stabbed me in the back.

I only did it because I thought you did the same to me.

Hillary Clinton is one of my role models.

I do not break treaties, you a*s, but I do secure borders, so I'm gonna go tell Epperly what you did right now.

No.

Blair, wait.

Look, we can we can figure something out.

Let go of me, you classless cling-on.

Blair, do not go to Epperly.

I need this job, all right? No! Uh whoa.

Aah! Oh, no.

Oh, is that Stefano Tonchi.

I'm on the list.

Stefano, this way, please.

Spotted dubious friends in definite hot water.

Obviously, you're both fired.

Go back to the office and pack your things.

Looks like "W" just left Dan and Blair both out in the cold.

I just got an interesting phone call from Raina Thorpe.

Did you tell Chuck to have me fired? Let me guess.

Uh, you thought I'd embarrass you.

The Thorpe's were trying to take over Bass Industries.

We thought they might be using you just to get information.

I'm a grown man, Nate, and I'm actually good at what I do.

Chuck is family.

I would never do anything to jeopardize things for him.

You do realize that's a total contradiction, though, being Chuck's family and then working for the Thorpe's? Word around the office is that he's banging Thorpe's daughter.

Talk about sleeping with the enemy.

But that's Chuck's decision, okay? And whatever happens with Raina is on him and him alone.

You need the second chance.

You can't go down in another scandal.

So you're getting me fired instead? All those nights in prison, when I thought I couldn't take it, when I wanted to quit or die or I didn't, because I knew there was still one person out there who believed in me.

Dad, you'll get another job.

Yeah, washing toilets.

You know what? I think I'd rather live in a halfway house than live with someone who only halfway trusts me.

Come on.

It was just an internship.

I'm sure you can have your mother call and get you a new one in a second.

My mother didn't get me "w.

" She's a designer.

She can't call in favors from a fashion magazine.

Well, you don't get jobs like this without a connection.

Well, I did.

I practically stalked Stefano.

I spent the night at his lobby waiting to meet him.

And after the police escorted me out for the third time, I faxed a letter to every machine in the building.

That's like 200 fax machines.

Wow, Blair, I'm so sorry.

I didn't know any of this.

What, the fact that you were willfully ignorant is supposed to make me feel better? You wanted an internship.

I wanted this one.

So why didn't you just sabotage me? You had every opportunity.

Guess I must have some undiagnosed brain injury, because I stupidly thought that this fake friendship might be real.

Damien Dalgaard, of all people you know what kind of person he is.

Oh, so now you wanna get all sisterly? You're dating a demon.

Can't you see he's using you like he did Jenny? Why? 'Cause nobody could ever like me for me? Hey, I know what it feels like when you think you got no one to turn to.

Who the hell are you? I'm Ben, Serena's non-r*pist but still technically ex-con former teacher.

You have taken up a lot of time over the dinner table at our house.

I'm sure all that drama has been overshadowing what's going on in everyone else's life, especially yours.

No offense, man, but mind your own business.

When I got locked up, I befriended some not very good guys.

Found out the hard way, when you do things that betray who you are, it can become very difficult to recognize yourself.

I don't wanna see that happen to you.

Please, Eric.

Mom did this awful thing, and and you went away to Ostroff, and I was looking so forward to just being away with Elliot and having somebody to talk to, and then he broke up with, and I didn't have anybody.

You always have me.

No, I didn't.

You were off chasing some judge, trying to help him.

I don't want to feel sad.

I didn't wanna feel anything, and the one thing about Damien is he is a good distraction, but You're right.

Thank you.

I won't see him anymore.

Um, Serena, can I speak to you? It's okay.

I gotta go anyway.

What Juliet did has it crossed your mind that Ben was at least partially responsible? He wanted revenge because he thought I put him in prison.

But that's in the past.

You know, he just gave Eric some really fatherly advice, helped convince him to stay away from Damien Dalgaard.

Damien? Look, I would love to explain, but I need to find Ben right now.

Epperly, uh, it's Dan Humphrey.

I know I ruined your party and humiliated your boss and there's no reason for you to want to listen to me right now, but I've got to tell you something.

Eric.

I just heard that you've been hanging out with Damien.

Are you doing drugs? You know, I could lie and say no.

Um but I bought sleeping pills.

And then I needed Adderall to wake back up, but that was it, and, um, it was stupid, and I'm done with it.

If you need help, I wanna make sure you get it.

No, I don't care about the drugs.

Damien was just there when no one else would listen.

Ben, wait.

Please don't avoid me.

I wanna be your friend.

Serena, it's a lot easier for me to start over without any reminders from my past.

But why? I saw you talking to Eric, and it reminded me of what you were like in boarding school.

I'm not that person anymore.

Yes, you are.

You wanna know why I've been avoiding you? Because I see that look in your eye, and I know exactly what it means.

But I don't wanna be with you.

I didn't reciprocate back then, and I don't now.

I'm sorry.

you'll be snuggling up with this winter are warm memories.

I'm not heartbroken.

I'm humiliated.

I was falling for someone who wants nothing to do with me.

And I thought I found my calling, and now the only thing that brings me any joy is planning Dan Humphrey's long, slow demise.

Epperly? It's 9:20.

Where are you? W-what are you talking about? You fired me.

Yes, and then Dan confessed that you were the one who called Jeremiah, and he took credit for it and then staged that whole wrestling stunt to embarrass you.

I was totally wrong about him.

If you're gonna be a backstabber, just stab some backs, you know? Are you saying That Alex White is styling eight looks today, and I need someone to steam the couture? Yes.

I'll be there in 15.

You know what I just remembered? If you really want something, you don't stop for anyone or anything until you get it.

Thanks for meeting me.

Serena told me how helpful you were with Eric yesterday.

Just saying what I thought.

Ben, I realize my wife hasn't treated you justly in any way.

I'd like to help.

You're not gonna offer me more money, are you? You deserve a real shot at getting back on your feet again, and that's gonna be tough to do living in a halfway house.

I have an extra room at my loft, and I-I'd love it if you moved in.

After everything that's happened, it's the least we can do.

I haven't experienced a lot of kindness lately.

I gotta think about it, but sounds good.

Take your time.

Hi.

Could you connect me to room 312, please? Howard Archibald.

What do you mean, he's checked out? Yeah.

This winter.

Thank you.

Even though we bundle up, a cold shoulder can freeze us out.

I heard about what young Bass asked Raina to do.

It's terrible.

Well, I'm just thankful she gave me the heads up and you gave me a chance to talk.

We're old friends, and you're doing a bang-up job.

I, uh, should've told you about my plans for Bass Industries, but I didn't wanna put you in a compromising position.

I completely understand, and I can assure you, there are no conflicts anymore.

Whatever you need, I'm your guy.

What are you doing here? I was wrong to ask you to fire The Captain.

Stuart, a moment? Yes, you were.

I told you who I was when we met.

I don't play games in business or in my personal life.

My father is gonna do everything humanly possible to acquire Bass Industries.

It's not a secret.

It's a fact.

I know.

I apologize for losing sight of that.

Look, you're a beautiful girl who says what's on her mind and isn't afraid of the consequences.

I don't want to stop seeing you.

I can handle the complications if you can.

Hmm.

I think complications are the least of what I can handle.

But There is a man In a towel in my bathroom right now.

So Maybe another time? You look good here.

Guess it turns out your friend wasn't worthy.

Tell me about it.

I've been trying to convince people for years.

But just so you know, he was never really my friend.

Sometimes a ray of sun shines in and gives us hope.

I offered Ben the apartment, and he's thinking about it.

Thank you so much, Rufus.

We're just not gonna take "no" for an answer.

Ben is still a good person.

I-I know he is.

Consider this a warning.

Stay away from Serena.

Stay away from her family.

I remember your father, and I think we both know how he would respond to your dealing if someone were to tell him.

What do you care, huh? Those people ruined your life, not me.

You actually like her.

How I feel about Serena is none of your damn business.

The only thing you should be worried about is disappearing.

Hey, what are you doing right now? Sorry, Damien, but I'm done with the pills.

No, that's not what I meant.

You wanna hang out? As friends.

But on the Upper East Side, the slipperiest ice Uh, sure.

Why not? Good.

Is usually right in front of us.

Good.

X.

O.

X.

O.

Gossip Girl.

[bunniefuu]

(OG version)


Gossip girl here--

Your one and only source

Into the scandalous lives

Of manhattan's elite.

I see you've met my daughter.

Raina thorpe.

I have decided to set my sights

On a company that has just

Come back up on the block--

Bass industries.

My car is just outside.

I'll wait five minutes

Before taking off.

[Lily] what in the hell

Were you trying to do?

Get ben out of prison.

What, by putting me in?

The information about ben

In the affidavit

Can never get out, ever.

I'm here to see ben donovan.

I'm sorry. You just missed him.

Mr. Donovan was released.

Are you free for coffee?

I'm free for anything.

Have you come to recruit another

Virgin to be your drug mule?

I would say,

Why, are you available?

And who am i?

That's a secret

I'll never tell.

You know you love me.

X.o.x.o., Gossip girl.

[Gossip girl]

Brr, upper east siders.

It's cold outside.

And as february approaches,

We need to find ways

To fight frostbite.

[Wolf g*ng]

♪ In the city where I'm from ♪

♪ There are lovers to the dawn ♪

Some keep warm

The old-fashioned way.

Who knew what a turn-on

It would be

To sleep with a woman

Trying to buy my company?

As long as we play clean in

Business, I'm happy to keep it--

Dirty between the sheets.

♪ Who's gonna get up

After we've fallen? ♪

♪ Who's gonna pick up

What we've done wrong? ♪

Some seek the comfort

Of loved ones.

♪ We're gone ♪

And some try to keep away

The gloom...

What are you doing up

This early?

By painting things bright.

Breakfast with ben.

And don't lecture.

He's a nice person--

A nice, innocent person

Who deserves a friend

After what my mom did to him.

A lot of mascara for a friend,

But you can have breakfast

With whomever you want.

I don't judge.

Well, today I don't,

Because today everything

Is new and fresh and golden.

Today my internship begins.

You're finally going to tell me

Where it is?

It's too important.

I can't jinx it.

I'll tell you

After my first day,

But I must go.

But you realize most offices

Aren't even open this early

Unless you're interning

At a doughnut shop?

I want to be early.

What is wrong with being early?

Catch the worm!

Okay, I'll see you

At the "w" party tonight.

And good luck at your new job

At the mayor's office

Or the whitney or cia

Or... Whatever.

This--this is like living

With don draper.

Lily, again, thank you so much

For getting me this opportunity.

Just so you know,

It may not be what--

Don't worry. I realize

Most internships are about

Exploitation and espresso runs.

I'm just happy to get a chance

To be around writing again.

Well, then you're welcome,

Daniel.

How about

A celebratory breakfast?

Uh, you know, i-i can't.

I'm super busy.

I gotta--i gotta limber up

For all this bootlicking

I'm gonna be doing,

But thank you.

[Chuckles] okay. Bye.

[Beep]

Well, at least one of our kids

Appreciates me.

Lily.

I get ben out on parole,

But serena and eric continue

To treat me like I'm toxic.

I know you did

What you could,

But ben's still gonna have

A criminal record.

Give them time.

Everything I do

Or have ever done

Is for my children.

And someday

They'll realize that.

Right?

Hmm.

Hmm.

No, please, let me.

I asked. You got last time.

I'm sorry I had to leave

So abruptly.

My, uh, friend edward

Was waiting for me.

How's life on his sofa?

Pullout couch

Beats a prison cot.

Serena...

The reason I asked you here

Is 'cause I heard

From an old college friend.

He's starting an organic farm

In ithaca,

Wants me to move up there.

Wow.

Ithaca--it's supposed

To be beautiful.

But are you sure?

Being outside all day,

Working with my hands--

After being cooped up

For so long,

It's kind of ideal.

Yeah. Well, I hope we get

To spend some time together

Before you go.

I'm leaving tomorrow.

I wanna start my new life

As soon as possible.

I hope you understand.

Yeah. [Chuckles]

Yeah, of course.

I'm sure we can,

You know, write or e-mail

Or call or... [Chuckles]

I'm really happy for you.

Take care, serena.

[Meme] ♪ take it day by day ♪

♪ Things are not so gray ♪

♪ Feel the wind free my mind ♪

♪ I let my heart unwind ♪

♪ I'll just be myself ♪

♪ I'll just sing my song ♪

♪ I'll just sing my song ♪

♪ I'll just sing my song ♪

♪ Da-da-da-da-da-da ♪

♪ Da-da-da-da-da-da ♪

Rufus, hey, you used to have

A plot in a community garden,

Right?

You gotta be kidding me.

"Scorpio rising"

Was a great film.

That dreck puts the "ick"

In "esoteric."

All right, fine.

We can go see

The merchant ivory

Retrospective. You can ensure

That your delicate sensibilities

Aren't disturbed,

And I can

Catch up on my sleep.

Going to movies

Is a one or... 4-Time thing.

It's not like we're friends.

I never suggested we were,

But I am going to see

The joseph beuys exhibit

In chelsea.

Oh, you are such a boy.

How could you go to that

When the degas is about

To close at the morgan?

You are such a girl. I'm gonna

Take a pass on the ballerinas.

Frilly dresses and tutus

Are not my idea of art.

Fashion is

The most powerful art there is.

It's movement, design,

And architecture all in one.

It shows the world who we are

And who we'd like to be, just

Like your scarf suggests that

You'd like to sell used cars.

Vanessa gave me this scarf.

Look, i-i have to go.

Stop wasting my time.

You know today is a big day

For me.

So you're gonna finally tell me

What internship you got?

No, all right.

Well, then I won't say

Which one I got either. I will

See you sunday at the morgan.

I will wear my most

Fashionable toe shoes.

Don't get your hopes up.

Serena. Hey, it's great

To see you. I heard about

The ostroff center,

And juliet giving you the--

The drugs that you sold her?

I had no idea

What her plans were.

I wanna make sure

That you're okay.

Look, I couldn't care less

About clearing your conscience.

When are you gonna realize

Your occupation hurts people?

I don't give anyone anything

That they don't come

Looking for.

Okay, well, then I guess

You're only half responsible

That I almost died.

[Kaskade featuring dragonette's

"Fire in your new shoes" plays]

♪ I like that outfit ♪

♪ The zipper's pinching ♪

♪ But if you want it ♪

"W" stands for "way better"

Than I even imagined.

I'm already planning

Outfits in my head.

If you mean outfits

For lara stone to wear

In our meisel sh**t on friday,

I would love to hear

Your thoughts,

But if you're dreaming

About what you're gonna wear to

The party tonight, think again.

I saw that movie, too,

But this is real life,

Not some hollywood chick flick

Where a girl with a scrunchie

Gets a makeover

And triumphs in the end.

I have never owned

A scrunchie.

I think I read that

On your résumé.

Down there is

The main production area,

Conference room,

And through those doors--

Editor in chief,

Stefano tonchi.

And how soon can I get

A sit-down with him?

I have some exciting

New ideas

That I've organized

In a powerpoint presentation.

I've been stefano's assistant

Since he took over.

I've barely had

Five minutes alone with him.

But my research says

He has an open door policy,

That he's collaborative.

Doesn't mean

He isn't crazy busy.

Then it sounds like

He needs my help immediately.

Ah, you're all so young,

So adorable.

All who?

All of you interns.

♪ Uh, uh, uh, uh ♪

♪ Lift up your cotton socks ♪

But i...

[Lowers voice]

Thought it was just me.

Thousands of applications.

These are

The best of the best.

I'm the best of the best.

I'm blair waldorf.

Assuming that's your way

Of saying

You're the most distinguished,

Ambitious student

At your school, then they're

All blair waldorfs--

From princeton, yale,

Penn, and parsons.

♪ Light a fire ♪

Here you are.

♪ In your new shoes,

If you should smile ♪

This must be

Our sixth and final intern.

Oh, I think there must be

Some mistake.

Daniel humphrey, n.y.u.?

I'm epperly lawrence,

Your supervisor. Welcome to "w."

Nothing says january

Like a brand-new cold w*r.

♪ I light a fire ♪

[Elevator bell dings,

Doors slide open]

Hey. Um,

Mrs. Humphrey?

Oh, jonathan, hello.

Eric left this in class

The other day.

I thought he might need it.

Oh, that is so considerate.

Jonathan, how are you?

I haven't seen you

Since you...

Eric and I broke up,

Probably.

Well, not that I see my son

Much these days either.

He's been with elliot nonstop

Since they got back from gstaad.

What?

Elliot broke up with eric

Over the holidays.

It's... All anyone

Was talking about

The first day

Back at school.

But eric slept at his place

Last night.

Hey. Brought you some coffee.

[Tv playing indistinctly]

[Brakes squeal]

She looks a little lost.

Can i... Help you, miss?

Um, no, thank you.

I'm just here to bring

Something to a friend,

But I think I have

The wrong address.

Is your friend an ex-con?

Then you're

In the right place.

This is a halfway house.

Focus on your work ethic,

Not your wardrobe.

"W" is about more

Than just fashion and beauty.

We do probing interviews,

An art issue.

We're looking for visionaries.

Get out of here, humphrey.

This is my world.

[Cell phone rings]

I can't just quit. When lily

Said condé nast, I figured

She meant "vanity fair"

Or "the new yorker,

But that doesn't mean

She didn't pull every string

She had on my behalf. Turns out

It's easier to get a guy paroled

Than it is to get a magazine

Internship in this town.

You don't know the difference

Between rodarte and road k*ll.

You'll be guillotined.

We're interns.

I may not know couture,

But I know how to collate.

And I know how to staple,

So stay out of my way,

Or I'll use one to attach your

Tongue to your shoulder blade.

Blair?

I'm sorry. Dan here was just

Telling me how much he'd love

To work for "the new yorker."

Oh, that's right.

You're the writer.

Maybe you could do something

Special for our new blog

We're announcing tonight

At the party--books, movies,

"Fashion on film." This month

We'll be in celebration

Of contemporary authors,

And lynn hirschberg's

Writing the intro.

I'll be sure to introduce you.

Wow. Thank you.

Jonathan?

What are you doing here?

Where were you last night?

And don't say elliot's.

I called over there

And spoke to his mother.

Well, I was with a friend.

Why didn't you tell me

That you two broke up?

I didn't wanna share

A huge fact from my life.

I wonder where I got

That gene from.

Now you listen to me--

Lily, can I maybe

Talk to eric alone?

Fine.

Are you okay?

What's going on with you

And your mother?

Oh. Now you care. 'Cause you

Didn't when you dumped me.

I was angry, and rightly so,

But...

I've always cared,

And you know that.

It's my family,

And... And elliot,

And it's just been...

A rough few weeks for me.

But I missed having you

In my life.

Well, I'm here now.

Uh, your mother

Said you guys

Were going to some party

Tonight.

Is there any chance

You'd wanna bring someone along

To be there for you,

Help keep the peace?

Make fun of everyone

We see?

Yeah, that sounds perfect.

No, I don't know.

There.

Okay, I'll let her know.

What'd he say?

[Indistinct conversations]

These strappy zanottis

Would look great

With your sweaty

Gym socks.

Epperly asked me to pull

The lemon louboutins.

Oh. You poor lost lamb.

[Sets shoes down]

[Sighs] let me help you.

I didn't date

Serena van der woodsen

For two years

And not come away knowing

That those are marc jacobs,

And they're mustard.

[Spits] ugh! Why does this

Taste like chanel no. 5?

Hey, I was, uh, just getting

Myself a cappuccino.

I thought you might like one,

Too.

The nutmeg foam--

That's a humphrey touch.

My dad used to own

A coffee bar.

Thank you, daniel.

That's very thoughtful.

Who's got a stapler?

Give it up, blair.

I'm actually good at this,

And unlike the other interns,

I know you.

Your stupid tricks

Won't work.

Oh, look,

It's georgina's baby.

Ow.

Where have you been?

I've been calling you.

Your parole officer told me

You missed

Another job interview.

I didn't wanna tell ya

Until everything was settled.

I have incredible news.

I got a job--

A real job,

As a financial advisor

In a top tier company.

Are you serious?

Dad, that's great.

I never thought

It would happen again--

The suits, the business lunches,

The ability to pay

My own hotel bills.

I can't stop pinching myself.

What's the firm?

Thorpe enterprises.

I'll be working with

Russell thorpe himself.

See you later, pal.

Hey, chuck.

Did I just walk past your dad

In a $2,000 suit?

Seems the captain, who could

Barely get an interview

For a custodial position,

Got a big executive job

With the guy

Trying to buy your company.

[Indistinct conversations

In distance]

So... How are you

Enjoying your first day?

Well, what should have been

Perfection

Has now been tainted

By a run-in

With brookyln's

Benedict arnold.

How am I a traitor?

The only reason

You're still here is 'cause

No one has ratted out

Your attempts at sabotage

To epperly.

And the only reason

You're still here

Is because no one's asked you,

"Who's givenchy?"

[Epperly] lynn hirschberg's

Flight from dublin got canceled.

I knew stefano should've made

That colin farrell interview

A phoner instead.

Hirschberg's out.

Major disaster.

Unless someone... Shows up

With a new author

And saves the day.

Yes.

And when she does,

She will shine

As the best intern.

And her insipid competition

Will be fired.

You do realize that I know

Jeremiah harris personally,

Right?

And you do realize that I know

Everyone personally, right?

Okay, so then we'll both

Show up with our authors

Tonight at the party,

And whoever epperly decides

Is the best fit for "w" wins.

The other resigns.

I can agree to that.

It's gotta be a clean fight.

Do you understand that

As a concept? No sabotage?

I can't wait to

See you bleeding on the rack.

But yes, no sabotage.

[Elevator bell dings,

Doors close]

Hey, is eric here? I'm supposed

To take him to lunch.

Oh,

He's brooding in his room.

Here. Vanya asked me

To give this to you.

What is it?

Everything okay, lily?

Yes, it's nothing.

I'll deal with it later.

Oh, come on, mom.

We're all trying

To move forward here.

No more secrets.

Well, it's not a secret.

In fact, I have no idea

What it is or who it's from.

Then what's the big deal about

Opening it in front of us?

[Envelope rustling]

This was for ben.

"Please use this money

To start a new life

Far away from me

And my family."

[Scoffs]

Charming, mom.

Seems serena's getting

Frosty with her mother

Over an envelope

Of cold-hard cash.

Looks like not everything

Or everyone's

On sale this january.

Well, at least now

I know why ben lied.

He doesn't wanna have anything

To do with me because

I'm the daughter

Of the person that ruined

The last three years

Of his life

And is trying to ruin

The rest of it.

$30,000 Would hardly

Ruin his life.

You said you were gonna help

Ben find an apartment,

Not pay him to disappear.

Mom paid someone off again.

Well, we should make this

A drinking game.

Ben donovan has information

That can ruin this family.

What's wrong with not

Wanting him around?

Because he's blameless.

Because he was

A wonderful teacher

Who can't do what he loves

Thanks to you,

And because

He deserves more.

I'm going out.

I'm right behind you.

Yeah. Hold the elevator.

[Elevator bell dings]

Well, I did a little humphrey

Smooth talking,

And jeremiah harris said

He'd be delighted to come,

So I'm just gonna add his name

To the list real quick.

Oh! Well, you can put him

Under lorrie moore, my author.

He'll be

Most comfortable there.

I don't think so. Before

Jeremiah harris was a novelist,

He wrote film reviews

For "vanity fair,"

And he had a wine column

In "bon appetit,"

And stefano also knows him

From the "times."

So? Lorrie moore was

A 2010 finalist

For the p.e.n./Faulkner award.

True. Maybe she is

A better get.

Oh, but did I mention

That jeremiah

Is on the board of admissions

At williams,

Where stefano's niece

Is applying to college?

[Closes laptop]

So glad you called.

Afternooners are my favorite.

I thought you said

You were totally aboveboard

When it comes to business.

I did, and I am.

So why did you hire

My best friend's father

To work for your company?

The captain?

He and my dad

Are old friends.

My father believes

In second chances,

And we need someone who knows

The lay of the land.

His son's my roommate.

It's an obvious conflict.

Chuck, we just met. I had

No idea who you live with.

I know that you're sensitive

To this,

I assure you, thorpe enterprises

Has no interest

In corporate espionage.

Even so, I spoke to nate.

The captain's a loose cannon.

I'd consider it

A personal favor

If you'd have him fired.

Now... What were you saying

About afternooners?

Actually... I just remembered

I have a meeting.

Sorry, chuck.

[Scoffs]

[Blair] your mother might be

Up to her old tricks,

But maybe it's best for ben to

Get a fresh start without you.

Maybe. I don't know.

I just don't want to go down

Without a fight.

Speaking of fights, I'm at

Full-on w*r with humphrey.

B., I know you like

To turn

Everything into a contest,

But surely dan

Isn't your biggest competition

At "w."

All the other girls

Are variations on a theme,

And that theme--slightly

Lesser versions of me.

But... Dan is a writer.

He makes delicious coffee.

Never mind the fact that

He's not a completely

Horrible-looking straight guy

Working at a fashion magazine.

He's got the whole office

Buzzing.

Sounds like someone's

Feeling a little threatened.

Well, not for long. My author

Will make his look like

A monkey with a typewriter...

Or maybe

An invisible monkey

With a typewriter.

B., I hear scheming

In your voice.

You cannot sabotage him.

Why not? I'm not gonna

Treat him any better

Than all my other enemies

Just because

You sporadically love him.

He's not your enemy.

Earn the spotlight

On your own merits.

You'll feel better.

Well, I'll call you later.

Let ben go?

Let dan be.

[Scoffs]

Oh, picking up

A late lunch for epperly?

No. Actually, it's for you.

Don't worry.

It's not poisoned.

I wouldn't wanna win

Due to my rival's starvation,

And I figured you were

Too much of a food snob

To deign to eat

At the commissary.

[Cell phone alert chimes]

And epperly needs me

To alphabetize. Duty calls.

[Door opens,

Door bells jingle]

Fancy seeing you here,

Mr. Donovan.

Damien dalgaard.

I heard you went to the pokey

For poking a student.

[Chuckles] congratulations

On getting out.

Sure you've been doing

A lot of celebrating, yeah?

Wanna buy some party favors?

[Scoffs] so it's true.

Straitlaced academic star

Became a dealer.

Guilty.

I remember that paper

You wrote

Comparing "the wire"

To "the iliad."

Did not intend

For english comp

To be an occupational

Training course.

Well, you always said what

We learned in high school

Would inform our futures

In unexpected ways.

[Chuckles] yeah, the thing

With "the wire" is

The witnesses usually

Had evidence

Before they testified.

I know you were the one

Who said you saw

Me and serena at that b&b.

I told the truth.

Nothing happened between

Me and serena that night,

But I went to prison

Anyway.

You say "potato."

Judge says "pedophile."

[Door bells jingle]

Well, it's been great

Catching up, mr. D.,

But my friend just arrived.

I'd introduce you,

But you may or may not have

Statutorily r*ped his sister.

Might be a tad awkward.

Let's go. Get a table.

[Beeps]

[Phone rings]

Good job today.

I think you could be

A great fit here,

Provided you survive.

I try and stay

Out of the intern drama,

But I couldn't help

But notice

Your friend blair's

A little competitive.

I don't know what

You're talking about.

I admire your loyalty.

Maybe the striver thing

Is all an act,

And maybe it's just

A coincidence

That my coffee tasted

Like her perfume.

I'm sure you know her

Better than I do.

Yeah, I do know her.

I know that her kindergarten

Yearbook quote

Is "the best defense

Is a good offense."

[Dialing]

Hi. Uh, ms. Moore,

I'm an assistant at "w,"

And I'm afraid there has been

A terrible mix-up.

Careful, d., It's flu season,

But nothing's more contagious

Than mistrust.

[Nous non plus' "monokini"

Playing]

♪♪

I'll be right back.

One second.

[Indistinct conversations]

Uh, where's mom?

She's still licking

Her wounds.

We were all pretty hard on her

This afternoon.

I never would have come to

A party like this without her,

But I needed some air.

Oh, hey, I get it.

Being in a room

With a selfish manipulator can

Really suck the life out of you.

She's worried. She's just

Trying to protect her family.

Hey.

You two have a good time.

I'll see you later.

♪♪

Great party.

Are you hungry?

There's appetizers.

Yes, yeah. I'm gonna...

I'll grab us some, yeah?

[Scoffs]

Thakery, imoon,

Enjoy your treats.

♪ Monokini ♪

Um, I need to talk to you.

Hi.

[Camera shutter clicks]

[Indistinct conversations]

Chuck bass... And no guest.

You may enter.

Blair waldorf

Working the door?

I got an internship

At "w."

Knowing you, you'll be editor

By may. Your plan's working.

So it seems to be.

♪ Tous les garçons me ♪

♪ Regardent bronzer, oh ♪

♪ J'ai oublié mon ♪

♪ Monokini, oh ♪

Ben, you came.

Thank you for meeting me here.

Can we talk?

Serena, I'm actually here

Because I saw your brother eric

With damien dalgaard, who we

Both know is a drug dealer.

[Scoffs] no. No, no.

Eric hates damien,

And he doesn't do drugs,

So there--there must be

Some sort of explanation.

Jonathan. Hey.

By any chance,

Have you seen eric?

Eric? No. The guy should become

A magician. He disappeared.

I thought we were here

On a date.

I guess I'm getting played

Once again.

I'm sorry. A date?

What about elliot?

Elliot dumped him.

He didn't tell you?

He promised me he was over

His jenny humphrey phase.

I guess he was wrong...

Or maybe I was,

For believing him.

♪ C'est "d'oublier" son ♪

It'll be okay.

Come on. Let's find him.

♪ Monokini, hey ♪

[Indistinct conversations]

Lorrie is a bit late,

But she'll be here

Any minute.

I hope jeremiah brought

His "a" game.

Oh, he's not here yet

Either.

Any reason you think

He might be late?

The guy is a famous recluse.

He might not show up at all.

It's your fault for picking him.

My fa--oh, you've

Got ta be kidding me.

We said no sabotaging.

What are you

Talking about?

Jeremiah. Hi.

Mr. Humphrey,

Show me to the bar.

I warn you, if the krug

Is warmer than 55 degrees,

I'm leaving.

Jeremiah harris?

Epperly lawrence.

Yes. How do you do?

Daniel told me you were

In a bit of a bind.

Nice. Let's get you

A glass of wine.

I'll tell you

All about our plans.

[Sighs] o.m.g.

I was just poleaxed

By a poor person.

[Chuckles]

Fancy seeing you here.

Chuck, this is stuart fuji.

He's in the film business.

Stuart, can I borrow her

For a moment?

What are you doing

With that bore?

Let's get out of here.

Actually, I'm having

A nice time.

Stuart understands that when

I say I'm telling the truth,

I am.

Raina, you're trying

To take my company.

How can I just trust you?

You'd think less of me

If I did.

I couldn't think less of you

Than I do right now.

[Chuckles] sorry.

I wouldn't be like this if

It wasn't my father's legacy.

Stakes are too high

To take a chance on trust.

Hey.

It's just business.

From now on, I don't even know

If we have that to discuss.

Maybe eric went home.

He doesn't really like

Parties anyway.

He can't be buying

From damien.

Come on.

[Whispers] your sister

Just clocked us.

Okay, wh-what do we do?

Just go with me on this one.

Well, I'm gonna go get a drink.

Would you like anything, babe?

Uh... [Chuckles]

So you're damien's "babe"

Now?

You... Williamsburg weasel!

I can't believe

You stabbed me in the back.

I only did it because I thought

You did the same to me.

Hillary clinton is one

Of my role models.

I do not break treaties, you

a*s, but I do secure borders,

So I'm gonna go tell epperly

What you did right now.

No. Blair, wait. Look, we can--

We can figure something out.

Let go of me,

You classless cling-on.

Blair, do not go to epperly.

I need this job, all right?

No!

Uh... Whoa. [Grunting]

[Blair gasps] aah!

[Grunting]

[Gasps] oh, no.

[Big band music playing]

Oh, is that...

Stefano tonchi.

I'm on the list.

[Man] stefano,

This way, please.

[Sighs]

Spotted--dubious friends

In definite hot water.

Obviously, you're both fired.

Go back to the office

And pack your things.

Looks like "w" just left

Dan and blair

Both out in the cold.

[ba*ls clack]

[Thud]

I just got an interesting

Phone call from raina thorpe.

Did you tell chuck

To have me fired?

[Scoffs] let me guess. Uh,

You thought I'd embarrass you.

The thorpes were trying

To take over bass industries.

We thought they might be using

You just to get information.

I'm a grown man, nate,

And I'm actually good at what

I do. Chuck is family.

I would never do anything

To jeopardize things for him.

You do realize that's

A total contradiction, though,

Being chuck's family and then

Working for the thorpes?

Word around the office is that

He's banging thorpe's daughter.

Talk about sleeping

With the enemy.

But that's chuck's decision,

Okay?

And whatever happens with raina

Is on him and him alone.

You need the second chance.

You can't go down

In another scandal.

So you're getting me fired

Instead?

[Scoffs] all those nights

In prison,

When I thought

I couldn't take it,

When I wanted to quit

Or die or... I didn't,

Because I knew there was still

One person out there

Who believed in me.

Dad, you'll get another job.

Yeah, washing toilets.

You know what? I think I'd

Rather live in a halfway house

Than live with someone

Who only halfway trusts me.

[Stars' "changes" playing]

♪ This time in between the day ♪

♪ And the night, the light ♪

Come on.

It was just an internship.

I'm sure you can have

Your mother call

And get you a new one

In a second.

My mother didn't get me "w."

She's a designer.

She can't call in favors

From a fashion magazine.

Well, you don't get jobs

Like this without a connection.

Well, I did.

I practically stalked stefano.

I spent the night at his lobby

Waiting to meet him.

And after the police escorted me

Out for the third time,

I faxed a letter to

Every machine in the building.

That's like





Wow, blair, I'm so sorry.

I didn't know any of this.

[Scoffs] what, the fact that

You were willfully ignorant

Is supposed to make me

Feel better?

You wanted an internship.

I wanted this one.

So why didn't you just

Sabotage me?

You had every opportunity.

Guess I must have some

Undiagnosed brain injury,

Because I stupidly thought

That this fake friendship

Might be real.

♪ Changes ♪

♪ I've never been good

With change ♪

♪ I hate it when it all

Stays the same ♪

Damien dalgaard,

Of all people--

You know what kind

Of person he is.

Oh, so now you wanna

Get all sisterly?

You're dating a demon.

Can't you see he's using you

Like he did jenny?

Why? 'Cause nobody could

Ever like me for me?

Hey, I know what it feels like

When you think

You got no one to turn to.

Who the hell are you?

I'm ben, serena's--

Non-r*pist but still technically

Ex-con former teacher.

You have taken up a lot of time

Over the dinner table

At our house.

I'm sure all that drama

Has been overshadowing

What's going on in everyone

Else's life, especially yours.

No offense, man,

But mind your own business.

When I got locked up,

I... Befriended

Some not very good guys.

Found out the hard way,

When you do things

That betray who you are,

It can become very difficult

To recognize yourself.

I don't wanna see that

Happen to you.

Please, eric.

Mom did this awful thing,

And--and you went away

To ostroff,

And I was looking so forward

To just being away with elliot

And having somebody

To talk to,

And then he broke up with me,

And I didn't have anybody.

You always have me.

No, I didn't. You were off

Chasing some judge,

Trying to help him.

I don't want to feel sad.

I didn't wanna feel anything,

And the one thing about damien

Is he is a good distraction,

But...

You're right.

Thank you.

I won't see him anymore.

Um, serena,

Can I speak to you?

It's okay. I gotta go anyway.

What juliet did--

Has it crossed your mind

That ben was at least

Partially responsible?

He wanted revenge because

He thought I put him in prison.

But that's in the past.

You know, he just gave eric

Some really fatherly advice,

Helped convince him

To stay away

From damien dalgaard.

Damien?

Look,

I would love to explain,

But I need to find ben

Right now.

♪ Once said, words make... ♪

Epperly, uh, it's dan humphrey.

I know I ruined your party

And humiliated your boss

And there's no reason for you to

Want to listen to me right now,

But I've got to tell you

Something.

Eric.

I just heard that you've been

Hanging out with damien.

Are you doing drugs?

You know, I could lie

And say no.

Um... But I bought

Sleeping pills.

And then I needed

Adderall to wake back up,

But that was it, and, um,

It was stupid,

And I'm done with it.

If you need help,

I wanna make sure you get it.

No, I don't care

About the drugs.

Damien was just there when

No one else would listen.

♪ Never been good with change ♪

♪ I hate it when it all

Stays the same ♪

♪ Caught between the gold

And the gain ♪

Ben, wait.

Please don't avoid me.

I wanna be your friend.

Serena, it's a lot easier

For me to start over

Without any reminders

From my past.

But why?

I saw you talking to eric,

And it reminded me

Of what you were like

At boarding school.

I'm not that person

Anymore.

Yes, you are.

You wanna know why

I've been avoiding you?

Because I see that look

In your eye,

And I know exactly

What it means.

But I don't wanna

Be with you.

I didn't reciprocate back then,

And I don't now.

I'm sorry.

♪♪

Sorry, s.

Looks like the only thing

You'll be snuggling up with

This winter are warm memories.

I'm not heartbroken.

I'm humiliated.

I was falling for someone who

Wants nothing to do with me.

And I thought I found

My calling,

And now the only thing

That brings me any joy

Is planning dan humphrey's

Long, slow demise.

[Cell phone rings]

[Ring, beep]

Epperly?

It's 9:20. Where are you?

W-what are you talking about?

You fired me.

Yes, and then dan confessed

That you were the one

Who called jeremiah, and he took

Credit for it and then

Staged that whole wrestling

Stunt to embarrass you.

I was totally wrong about him.

If you're gonna be

A backstabber,

Just stab some backs, you know?

Are you saying...

That alex white is styling

Eight looks today,

And I need someone

To steam the couture? Yes.

I'll be there in 15. [Gasps]

You know what I just remembered?

If you really want something,

You don't stop for anyone

Or anything until you get it.

[Everest's "let go" playing]

Thanks for meeting me.

Serena told me how helpful

You were with eric yesterday.

Just saying

What I thought.

Ben, I realize my wife hasn't

Treated you justly in any way.

I'd like to help.

You're not gonna offer me

More money, are you?

You deserve a real shot at

Getting back on your feet again,

And that's gonna be tough

To do living in a halfway house.

I have an extra room

At my loft,

And i-i'd love it

If you moved in.

[Keys jangle]

♪ I know we're gonna

Make it tonight ♪

After everything

That's happened,

It's the least we can do.

♪ Tomorrow will be all right ♪

I haven't experienced

A lot of kindness lately.

I gotta think about it,

But... Sounds good.

Take your time.

♪ So take a breath ♪

♪ My dear friend ♪

[Nate] hi. Could you connect me

To room 312, please?

Howard archibald.

♪ Let go ♪

What do you mean,

He's checked out?

♪ And rise again ♪

Yeah.

This winter...

Thank you.

Even though we bundle up,

A cold shoulder

Can freeze us out.

♪ I know ♪

I heard about what

Young bass asked raina to do.

It's terrible.

Well, I'm just thankful

She gave me the heads up

And you gave me

A chance to talk.

We're old friends, and you're

Doing a bang-up job.

I, uh, should've told you

About my plans

For bass industries,

But I didn't wanna put you

In a compromising position.

I completely understand,

And I can assure you,

There are no conflicts anymore.

Whatever you need, I'm your guy.

♪ Let go ♪

What are you doing here?

I was wrong to ask you

To fire the captain.

Stuart, a moment?

Yes, you were.

I told you who I was

When we met.

I don't play games

In business

Or in my personal life.

My father is gonna do

Everything humanly possible

To acquire bass industries.

It's not a secret.

It's a fact.

I know. I apologize

For losing sight of that.

Look, you're a beautiful girl

Who says what's on her mind

And isn't afraid

Of the consequences.

I don't want to

Stop seeing you.

I can handle the complications

If you can.

Hmm. I think complications

Are the least

Of what I can handle.

But...

There is a man...

In a towel

In my bathroom right now.

So...

Maybe another time?

You look good here.

Guess it turns out

Your friend wasn't worthy.

Tell me about it.

I've been trying to convince

People for years.

But just so you know,

He was never really my friend.

Sometimes a ray of sun

Shines in and gives us hope.

I offered ben the apartment,

And he's thinking about it.

Thank you so much, rufus.

We're just not gonna take "no"

For an answer.

Ben is still a good person.

I-i know he is.

Consider this a warning.

Stay away from serena.

Stay away from her family.

I remember your father,

And I think we both know how

He would respond to your dealing

If someone

Were to tell him.

What do you care, huh?

Those people ruined

Your life, not me.

[Panting]

You actually like her.

How I feel about serena

Is none of your damn business.

The only thing you should be

Worried about is disappearing.

[Panting]

[Beeps]

[Phone rings]

[Panting]

[Ring, click]

Hey. What are you doing

Right now?

[Eric] sorry, damien,

But I'm done with the pills.

No, that's not what I meant.

You wanna hang out?

As friends.

But on the upper east side,

The slipperiest ice...

Uh, sure. Why not?

Good.

...is usually

Right in front of us.

Good.

X.o.x.o. Gossip girl.