Gossip Girl here.
Your one and only source into the scandalous lives of Manhattan's elite.
It's time to pass the Gossip Girl baton.
Let someone else see if they can outshine me.
Welcome to your future as Gossip Girl 3.
0.
The power is now in your hands.
So I guess we're cousins.
Up until ten minutes ago, I didn't even know I had a family.
Please tell me we have an offer that'll at least keep "The Spectator" afloat.
Yes, I do know Diana Payne.
You're covering for who really gave me the blood-- Elizabeth.
She didn't want you to know.
You remember the woman with the locket I had you look for a couple years ago? Yeah, my mother.
I need to find her again.
"As for the rest of my estate, "I leave to you, Ivy Dickens.
" I think it would be best if you left.
I was just gonna say the same thing.
This is my apartment now.
You don't have a case.
I didn't do anything wrong.
The court will decide that.
In the meantime, your assets will be frozen.
I told Chuck he doesn't have my heart anymore.
I realized it belongs to someone else.
If she defaults on the marriage, the dowry can be reinstated.
I have a way that your family doesn't have to pay the Grimaldis a thing, and you get your divorce in the process.
Fine.
And who am I? That's a secret I'll never tell.
You know you love me.
X.
O.
X.
O.
, Gossip Girl.
Every once in a while, a life-changing event will arrive with fanfare and excitement.
Miss Blair.
Package from legal firm of Kier, Grandineti and Booth.
Divorce papers! Oh, sweet legal freedom! Thank God.
I thought Louis was gonna drag this on forever.
Georgina move fast.
What do you think she do to make happen? It's best we don't think, Dorota.
Georgina went black ops on this one, and while I'm sure I'm eventually gonna pay a price for my plausible deniability, right now I'm just gonna enjoy the bliss of ignorance.
Which means I can stop avoiding them and call Dan! Oh! Now we can date outside the confines of the 7-1-8.
We can walk down Madison Avenue hand in hand without having to worry about Louis changing his mind.
In my experience, most turning points in our lives don't announce themselves.
If anything, they tend to creep up quietly when we're least expecting them and force us to make a decision that isn't so easy.
Any word from Jack or Andrew Tyler yet? Jack's not returning my calls, and it's been a week, and Andrew still hasn't been able to track down Elizabeth.
So now that you know she's your mother for sure, you think you, uh, want a relationship with her? I haven't decided yet.
And since she's M.
I.
A.
, I don't have to.
So in the meantime, I'm gonna head down to the spa and meet Mandy and Micheala from hospitality and catch a steam.
Coming? Gotta get to the office.
Diana's finally making an appearance today.
Oh.
The two of you running "The Spectator" again.
Ready for combat? There's no reason to think that we'll have anything to fight about.
She's an investor.
I'm still editor in chief.
I'm not worried about it.
I told myself the same thing before my night with the Australian women's softball team.
That ended up with a fractured rib and a tattoo of a kangaroo that I didn't know I had for a month.
All right, listen, Diana and I may have ended things badly on a personal level.
But professionally, we always worked well together, man.
And what does Lola think about you working with your ex? I don't know.
I haven't, uh, exactly told her about my past with Diana.
How could she not know? I mean, you were all over "Gossip Girl," "Page Six.
" No, Lola has no interest in the Upper East Side social scene.
But even if she did, what Diana and I used to be to each other doesn't matter anymore.
Maybe not to you, but why else would Diana be back? It can't be for a love of journalism.
Well, I don't know about that, but once I get the lay of the land with Diana, I'll tell Lola everything.
Well, you sound like you've got it all figured out.
Just don't be surprised if you end up with an angry ex-girlfriend and a tattoo of a kangaroo.
Hey! Congratulations.
Dorota told me it's your first official day as a single woman.
It's true.
I am finally freed of the shackles of royal matrimony and Louis' horrible family.
Well, now that you're ready to rejoin the civilian population, how do you plan to spend your first day as plain Blair Waldorf? Oh.
Sure.
Yeah, with With Dan.
I'm-- I know it hasn't been easy, but I am happy for you.
Ohh.
Of course.
A "Gossip Girl" blast about my divorce coming through.
How does she know everything so fast? She probably has someone staked out in front of the building.
You know what's strange? Ever since the real Gossip Girl's been back, I've barely been mentioned.
I just I wish that there was a way to stay off her radar forever.
Oh, please.
It is your destiny to be gossip-worthy.
What? Tonight, you are modeling a line of lingerie named after you at Kiki de Montparnasse.
Gossip Girl won't be able to resist.
You're always her number one target.
You don't have any brilliant ideas how to push me off the top of her list? So you really want out? I just--I'm ready to move on with my life, and I can't do that with Gossip Girl tracking my every move.
Well, you need to replace yourself.
Find a new Serena.
Use your influence to anoint her the new "It Girl.
" Retain control but stay out of the spotlight yourself.
Okay.
Well, where do I start? At the beginning, of course, with the defining moment.
I mean, you didn't really become Serena Van Der Woodsen until you got naked on that aircraft carrier.
You don't need to make it sound like a porno.
We were on a school trip.
And I wasn't naked.
I was wearing a dress.
A white, wet dress.
The photo landed on "Gossip Girl," and that was it.
It's gonna take a moment like that to create the next Serena Van Der Woodsen.
Okay, what about you? Now that you're saying good-bye to being a princess, does that mean you're ready to reclaim your crown as Queen B.
? So if it's your mom's sister's family, that means you gain what, an aunt? An uncle? Yeah, and two cousins-- Eric and Serena.
Actually, I'd kind of like to get to know Serena a little bit better, but The whole family overnight is kind of a lot.
You can't get to know her unless you spend time together.
Well, so what? I just call her up and say, "Hey, we're related.
Let's hang out"? It's so random.
Wow, your mom really screwed you up, didn't she? Nate.
What are you doing here? Hey.
I'm just on my way to work.
Nate, this is my friend Aidan from back home.
Hey.
We went to acting camp together.
He--he's checking out Julliard.
Uh I'm gonna grab a paper.
I wanna check out the reviews for "Peter and the Starcatchers.
" Okay.
Well, uh, you've never mentioned him before.
Do I sense a little jealousy? No, Aidan is just a friend.
And besides, he's not my type.
You are.
You wanna play hooky with us? I would, but I can't.
I got that new investor coming in.
I gotta go meet with her.
Oh, that's right.
What's her name--Diana Payne? What do you know about her? Uh, well, I know she doesn't like it when people are late, so I gotta run.
See you guys later.
That was weird, wasn't it? I mean, he mentioned that woman and then he just took off.
What are you doing? Oh, there's this site called "Gossip Girl.
" I'm just gonna see if there's anything about her on there.
Wow.
She is hot.
So after that, we have a Cindy Sherman exhibit we can check out at the M.
O.
M.
A.
And then tonight, there's a new restaurant that opened-- I-I'm sorry, Dan.
Cindy Sherman and her unflattering self-portraits aside, it sounds like you planned a perfect day.
But it's going to have to wait.
Well, the royal seal is missing on my divorce papers, and I don't want to let Louis get me on a technicality.
Uh, well, if it's something that small, then maybe it could be resolved today.
Oh, I'm sure Louis' lawyers are gone for the day.
The Monegasque work very short hours.
Okay, well, I just want to spend the day with you, so maybe we could just hang out here? Oh, uh, Serena's around.
We--we shouldn't rub it in her face.
I'll call you later.
Song lyrics.
Vanya and--and I love karaoke.
Dorota, while your reputation for loyalty is unassailable, you and I both know something is going on here.
So why don't you just leave the song lyrics on the table and step out of the room for a moment? You won't see a thing.
Only because I worry.
Sometimes even the best laid plans fall apart How's that? Excellent.
Just get the right-hand side down a bit.
Hello, darling.
Did you miss me? What the hell are you doing? You didn't really think you'd get to keep your office, did you? Don't worry.
You're gonna love your new cubicle.
Or you hit a wall when you were expecting a door.
Hey.
Hey, Lola.
What's up? I just found out that new investor in "The Spectator" is Diana Payne, Nate's ex-girlfriend.
He totally lied to me about her.
I don't know what to do.
I really like him.
But every now and then, you get lucky and the universe delivers the perfect solution.
You know what? Um I'm actually really glad you came to me, because I know exactly what to do.
Come on.
Let's go.
Get ready, Lola, because whatever Serena wants, Lola's gonna get.
Just get out of my office, please.
I'm an investor in this paper, which I think entitles me to an office, and I choose this one.
No.
Being an investor means you don't actually need to be here.
You're not even a majority shareholder, and it's my name on the masthead.
Not for long.
Do you think advertisers are really gonna want to do business with a kid now that I'm back? Well, they haven't had a problem with it so far.
Oh, please.
I've done the research, my luv.
Advertising is down.
You never did understand that sex sells.
Fortunately, I do, which is why I'm co-hosting the "Down to Your Skivvie" party tonight at Kiki de Montparnasse.
After tonight, everyone is gonna be talking about how I'm back and your days are numbered.
You can't sponsor a "Spectator" party without me.
I'm not.
I'm doing it on my own.
If you're inviting advertisers, everyone's gonna think it's related to the paper, and I'll be there.
Fine, if you insist.
I'm assuming no plus-one.
Oh, I'll be bringing my girlfriend Lola.
No problem.
Enjoy your last day in here.
So what do you say we get out of here, go have a nice lunch at Daniel, and go shopping at barneys? Actually, I just came back from the city.
Oh.
I, uh, went to see Ivy, and I asked her if she would be willing to move out of the apartment if we unfroze the assets.
What?! We do not negotiate with t*rrorists, especially ones from Florida.
And you do not have the right to speak on my behalf.
I know, and I-I didn't agree to anything.
But, sweetie, Ivy did.
She offered to pack up and leave just as soon as you call your lawyers.
We could have you back in the apartment by the end of the day.
That is such a wonderful thing to do for me.
But unfreezing the assets means letting Ivy have my mother's money.
I don't think I can live with that.
You have enough money for generations of Rhodes to live comfortably.
Does that exhale mean that you'll call the lawyer and unfreeze the assets? Yes.
Fine.
You're right.
Good.
So I'll start packing, and then we'll go celebrate.
Your mother's been living in Vienna for the past six months.
I have an address and a mobile number, but I haven't made contact yet.
How do you want me to proceed? I'm not sure.
The fact that she was harder to find than a fugitive isn't lost on me.
Clearly, the woman doesn't want to be found.
I don't know that I can advise you, Chuck.
At this point, maybe you need a friend more than you need a private investigator.
Is there anyone in your life who got to know Elizabeth the last time she was here? Maybe you wanna talk to them, figure out what it is you really want and what to expect before you pursue this any further.
The one person who was there the whole way through is the one person that's not in my life anymore.
Blair Waldorf.
Then why did you pay her dowry? She doesn't know I did.
I-I don't want her to find out, ever.
Okay.
But even if that is the case, does that mean that you can't talk to her? Thank you so much, Tracy.
It's perfect.
Oh, great.
We're so excited you'll be modeling "The Serena" tonight.
Feel free to browse, and if you see anything you like, just let me know.
Okay.
So am I totally overreacting? About Nate, I mean.
Oh, and that looked amazing on you.
Oh, thank you.
Uh, look, Nate is a great guy, but Diana is aggressive.
And I don't know why she's back, but it's safe to say it has something to do with him.
Well, I'm not interested in competing with someone else.
Well, it's not about competing.
Even if there was no Diana, your whole "not wanting to be a part of his world" thing is not a good idea.
I mean, he's your boyfriend.
Part of being in a relationship is sharing each other's interests.
I do-- everything but parties and the Upper East Side social order.
Yeah, well, like it or not, that's a big part of his life and work.
And if you don't start meeting halfway, you leave room for someone who will, like Diana.
So what? What do I do? Try this on.
It's gorgeous, but I couldn't wow! Especially because it costs more than a semester at Julliard.
Not for us it doesn't.
You heard Tracy.
She said it's on them.
Come on.
It's one of the many perks of being an "It Girl".
Come on! Come on! We need to get out of here! Blair has the papers, but she hasn't signed them.
Now that us as a couple is a reality, maybe it's freaking her out.
Yeah, I think you're just kind of Humphrey-ing out here, man.
The editor in chief is chitchatting with his bro instead of working.
And you wonder why the paper isn't doing so well.
The most recent numbers.
Dismal.
Seriously? Diana is the only investor you could find? Yeah, well, Chuck was gonna step in, but the timing was off and, uh, he wasn't liquid enough.
Chuck Bass wasn't liquid? How is that possible? I shouldn't have even brought it up.
Why? Does, uh, does this have to do with Blair? Oh, Nate.
If Chuck did something, you gotta tell me.
Oh, it's nothing bad.
In fact, it's good.
I don't know why Chuck insists on keeping it quiet.
Well, if it's good, then what's the big deal, Nate? You, uh, you know what I'm up against here.
Come on.
All right, fine.
But you didn't hear it from me, okay? Chuck didn't have the money because he paid off Blair's dowry.
Oh, my God.
That's why she didn't sign the papers.
She must have found out, now she's having second thoughts.
Oh, he was just trying to do a nice thing for Blair.
Come on.
You really believe that? This is Chuck we're talking about.
I gotta go.
Why you lie to Mr.
Dan about signing the papers? Sneak up on me like that again, and I'm gonna start making you wear a bell.
I want answer.
Divorce is a private matter.
You'll see for yourself someday.
Now if you wanna make yourself useful, call the car around.
Only if you tell me why you don't sign the papers.
Otherwise, you take taxi.
I'm going to do it.
I just need a little more time.
For what? It--it makes no sense, but I feel like Once I sign those papers, I'm closing the door on something that I'm not quite ready to let go of.
Marriage to Louis? No.
Then what? Oh, my God.
So the entire Upper East Side is seeing this photo of me right now? Well, not just the Upper East Side.
It is the Internet.
But hey, this is exactly what we wanted.
Between that photo and the news that you are the real Charlie Rhodes, everyone will be talking about you.
Yeah, about how I'm an exhibitionist with a freak for a mom.
Oh, I just got an e-mail from Tracy at Kiki de Montparnasse.
She wants you to model at the party tonight.
No.
No, no, no.
No, that's not gonna happen.
Oh, come on.
What better way to show Nate you're willing to make more of an effort? And not to mention, Diana is one of the party sponsors.
You think Nate's gonna be going to this? Of course he will.
I shouldn't jump to any conclusions.
I should probably just go talk to him myself.
I'll let you know, okay? Um, yeah.
Sure.
Lola, I don't--I don't want to freak you out, but, um, you may wanna check "Gossip Girl" again.
Word is that Diana and Nate are going to tonight's "Down to Your Skivvies" party together.
Guess their relationship just went from business to pleasure.
I thought that I moved on, that this whole business with my mother was in the past.
I could live with the uncertainty because the woman I met, I didn't care if she was my mother or not.
Then I found out she did this extraordinary thing for me.
Is it wrong to think that changes things? No.
Of course not, but What I don't understand is what you want from me.
Just someone to talk to, I guess.
Someone who'll understand.
You--you met her.
You know what I went through.
Is it worth it to try and reach out again? I don't know, Chuck, but I'm not sure I'm the one to ask.
Why? Because of Humphrey? Blair, I'm not trying to work an angle here.
I'm simply coming to you as a friend.
No, you're not.
You're working right back into my life and you're using your mother to do it.
Blair I'm sorry if I sound harsh, but we both know we've never been good as friends.
There's always been an agenda.
Am I wrong? No, you're not wrong.
Chuck, what are you doing here? I thought I was coming to see a friend for advice.
Apparently, I made a mistake.
Well, what's going on? You know how I got that blood transfusion at the hospital? It was Elizabeth.
Apparently, she is my mother, but she's pulled a disappearing act.
I'm trying to to decide whether it's worth it to track her down, try and build a relationship.
Well, if you're asking me, I'd say do it.
I mean, I know it's scary, but when it comes to reconnecting with family, it's--it's worth the risk.
Thanks.
I'm telling you, it's not true.
Then why was it on "Gossip Girl"? I have no idea.
Why should I believe that, Nate? You already lied to me about having a relationship with Diana.
Okay, you're right.
Right? And that was dumb, and I'm really sorry about that.
But there is nothing going on right now.
Then why do you keep nervously looking at the door? Because Diana has made it clear to me that she's determined to push me out.
And the last thing I need is a fight with my girlfriend at the office.
Okay.
Well, we can discuss it tonight then.
I can't tonight.
I have to go to this party.
What? You don't even like events like this, and the only reason you wanna go is because you think I'm lying to you, and I'm not.
This is a work event, not a personal one, okay? I'm sorry.
Hey.
Is there anything you wanna tell me? Let me guess.
You saw on "Gossip Girl" that Chuck came by.
I can explain.
No, you don't have to.
I-I already know about the dowry.
What are you talking about? About how, uh, how Chuck paid your dowry.
Listen, if that's why you didn't sign the divorce papers, I just wish you would tell me.
No.
I had no idea Chuck paid it.
None.
I thought it was Georgina.
I gotta go.
Where? To find him.
"Him" who? Chuck? Hello? This is John Rosen, Ivy Dickens' lawyer.
My client got a call from a bank officer, informing her that there was a cashier's check waiting for her? Yes, my, uh, wife unfroze the assets.
That's what Ivy thought.
So she packed up, left her keys, and went to go get the check.
But when she got to the bank, they had no idea what she was talking about.
I couldn't help but overhear your little lover's spat.
I'm sorry Lola won't be coming tonight, but maybe it presents an opportunity.
What if you and I went together? Well, I appreciate the olive branch, but I think it sends the wrong message.
Lola's still my girlfriend, and I don't want to hurt her.
You and I know it's just business.
What's the risk? What's the point? It looks good to advertisers, us playing nice.
Let's use this night to send a message to the town that "The Spectator" is back to being a well-oiled machine.
Hey! So Nate swears there's nothing going on with Diana, but he also refuses to bring me as his date tonight.
I'm sorry.
Well you just have two options, then.
Well, there's stay home and do nothing, or you could come with me to the party and you model.
Tell Tracy I'll be there, with a date.
Diana better watch out.
I'm ready.
Everyone's been talking about Manhattan's latest arrival, Lola Rhodes.
And word is that tonight you're going to see a whole lot more of her.
Hey.
They do not have parties like this in Florida.
They barely have dental hygiene in Florida.
Ooh, open bar.
Be right back.
Hey, nice touch with the hot guy.
Oh, thanks.
So have you seen him yet? Hello! How are you? Okay, don't tell me they're not on a date.
And she's even more beautiful in person.
That's annoying.
Don't worry.
As soon as she sees you model, she's not only gonna see you're a force to be reckoned with and back off, but you and Nate will be the hottest couple on the party circuit.
You will surpass me as New York's "It Girl" in no time.
Oh, no, Serena, no one could surpass you, especially not me.
Yes, you can, and you will.
And believe me, nothing would make me happier.
Come on.
Let's go find Tracy so we can start getting ready.
Actually, I think I'm gonna introduce myself to Diana first.
Thanks.
Go for it.
Good luck.
Hey, Nate.
You remember Aidan.
Yeah, w-what are you doing here? Careful, Nate.
You don't want to cause a scene.
This is a business party, after all.
Hi.
I'm Lola Rhodes.
I don't think we've ever met.
Um, this is my date, Aidan Hill.
Oh.
It's a pleasure.
I'm surprised to see you, Lola.
Nate said you wouldn't be making it.
Actually, I was invited to model tonight.
What? I-I didn't know that.
Well, why would you? It's not like we were coming together.
Maybe Diana and I should, uh, get a drink while you two talk.
Actually, Nate and I need to go and say hello to a few people.
Lola, maybe it's time for you to show Aidan what you're modeling tonight.
Otherwise, you might lose two men to me in one day.
I brought lattes to help us pack.
I heard from Ivy's lawyer.
She got a call from the bank, saying there was a cashier's check waiting for her.
So she packed up and moved out, and when she went to collect it, it wasn't there.
Do you know anything about this? Yes, I never called the lawyers.
But now that she's out, I need to legally make sure she can't get back in.
And the call about the check? It was a ruse to get her out of the apartment.
Rufus, you're not gonna get me to feel any remorse about this.
Ivy lied about who she was, she manipulated my mother while she lay dying, and she stole our apartment.
Look, frankly, I think she deserves exactly what she's getting.
But you didn't just lie to her.
You lied to me.
But, Rufus, I'm sorry I kept it from you, because I knew you wouldn't be comfortable with it.
I had to protect you from the truth.
This isn't what a marriage is, Lily.
We have to be honest with each other.
I know, but this was an extreme situation.
I did what had to be done.
You know, maybe I'm just seeing more clearly because of the view from Brooklyn, but I'm not okay with this.
Look, Rufus, I know you're upset, but how can you be so righteous? We're talking about someone that stole from us.
Oh, my God.
Can we please just Stop fighting and just pack and go home? Yeah, I don't know, Lil.
Right now this loft feels a lot more like home than our apartment.
As you can see, Nate, everyone's very excited I'm back.
No one more so than you, apparently.
Which makes me wonder-- It's a buyer's market right now for newspapers.
If you really wanted one, you could've gone anywhere.
What are you getting at? I think you came back for me.
Oh! You're adorable.
Oh, I'm serious.
I bet you spent the last few months in L.
A.
, trying to convince yourself that I was nothing, just a fling with a younger guy.
But the fact is, you couldn't get over me.
Really? Then explain this.
Come with me.
Where's my date going? Exactly where we want him to.
Blair, what are you doing here? Looking for you.
At first, I wasn't sure I could find you, but then I realized all I had to do was look for the lingerie models.
So tell me, is it true? Did you pay my dowry? Who told you that? Tell me if it's true.
W-why does it matter? I knew it.
You thought you could buy me back, just like you thought you could sell me for your hotel.
You've got it all wrong.
That's why you showed up with that ruse today about friendship.
You bought my divorce and you came to collect your prize.
Then why didn't I collect? I swear, I did not want you to know about the dowry.
The only people that knew were Nate and Andrew Tyler.
I just wanted you to be free.
Whom you choose to love with that freedom is up to you.
I'm sorry, Blair.
I thought you knew.
Oh! You're right.
He's a good actor.
Yeah, I don't think he's acting all that much.
Wait, you two are working together? W--is this some kind of revenge on Diana? Yes, but let me explain it to you.
I I can't believe this.
You? Whatever.
But, Lola You totally used me.
Just go talk to her.
We got what we needed, all right? Uh-oh, Nate.
Looks like your dirty movie just got an unhappy ending.
What the hell do you think you're doing? Filming you and Aidan.
Oh, and he's 16, by the way.
Not sure how you're gonna run "The Spectator" from jail.
And you recorded it? Yep.
You have not lost your touch, by the way.
So what do you think-- the front page of "The Spectator" or just let Gossip Girl run with it? Go ahead.
Send the video wherever you want.
If what's-his-name really is 16, you'll be in prison right there next to me for recording and distributing child p*rn*graphy.
I'm gonna go enjoy the show.
See you at work tomorrow.
So, uh Are you okay? Yeah.
I guess I'm just not used to seeing Chuck do anything selfless.
Yeah, well, people can surprise us, even Chuck.
I saw the divorce papers.
The seal was there, but they weren't signed.
I thought you must've known that he paid the dowry.
No.
This has nothing to do with Chuck or the dowry.
Well, then--then why? My whole life, I wanted to be a princess.
And when I met Louis, it was This whole whirlwind of royalty and tiaras, and it seemed like my dream was coming true.
I mean, I may have married a prince, but I never really got to be a princess.
I know it's silly, but I think it was just one more loss I needed to mourn before moving on.
Serena, when I first came to you, it was because I needed advice and I wanted yours.
Oh, and when you agreed to come with me to the party? That was Because I needed to make it look like I was in a fight with Nate in front of Diana.
I know you really want this "It Girl" title for me, and I'm so flattered that you think I could ever live up to it, but to be honest with you, Serena, I-I don't care about that kind of thing.
And neither does Nate, so I'm so sorry and I hope we can still be friends.
Well, why would I want to be? I put myself on the line for you, Lola, and then all you did was let me down.
Okay, ladies, time to get in position.
There's just been a small change in the plans.
Yeah, Lola's not modeling.
What? She can explain.
Uh, Serena, I need to talk to you.
Oh, I'm so sorry about Lola.
I know it's an inconvenience.
It's not that.
After that photograph came out today, we thought we'd get even more buzz if we changed the name of "The Serena" to "The Lola.
" So I need you to model something else.
Seriously? I mean, a few minutes ago, that would've been great news.
But now you asked me to do this.
I have a model to take your place while you go change.
We'd love to see you in something else.
Sorry, but you can't go out there.
We can't have Serena being the face of "The Lola.
" Please, come with me.
Spotted-- Serena Van Der Woodsen blowing off the Kiki fashion show.
Looks like this party just went from so hot to so not.
Hey.
I just wanted to let you know how sorry I am about last night.
And I really appreciate everything you were doing with the whole "It Girl" thing.
No, it's okay.
I-I-I'm sorry.
I shouldn't have pushed you to do it.
It's clearly not for you.
Actually, it might be.
I got a call from an agent this morning.
She saw my photo on "Gossip Girl" and wants to set up a meeting with me.
What does, um, what does Nate have to say about it? I thought he didn't care about you being an "It Girl.
" Yeah, I know.
He doesn't, but, um He's supportive of my acting career, so he's happy.
And anyway, it's how you use your power that counts, right? Sure.
How do you plan to use yours? Well, I was thinking that, instead of being an "It Girl" like you-- beautiful and unobtainable-- that maybe I could be more of an "every girl", you know, like, someone everyone can relate to.
I don't know.
Maybe that's dumb.
Is that stupid? No.
No, no, I no, I just think, you know, these things usually come and go pretty quickly.
So I just--I wouldn't get too used to it, you know? But, um, there are some things that I have to do, so maybe I can call you later, and we can hang out? Okay.
Yeah.
Can we talk? Sure.
I don't think I realized just how upset you were with me till last night.
Or how much you were willing to fight for "The Spectator.
" I've been putting my heart and soul into this paper.
Of course I'm gonna fight for it.
I'd like us to find a way to work together.
Well, I don't know how to do that anymore.
Well I could apologize, for starters, for not being honest with you from the very beginning about being in business with your grandfather.
It was a terrible thing to do to you.
Thank you.
Is that it? Well, I could apologize for last night.
But I thought that was a draw.
What about all the "Gossip Girl" sources you released? I didn't do that.
I thought you would've found out by now.
After your grandfather intervened, it was all over.
I thought it would be easier for you to hate me.
And frankly, I-I think I wanted to punish myself a little for what I did to you.
So About us working together-- What's that gonna look like? "The Spectator" is yours.
I'm just here in a support capacity.
In the meantime, I have some other business I need to take care of, and that's gonna be my main focus.
And I found another office downstairs.
Deal? Deal.
There's one more thing I should come clean about.
You were right about me still having feelings for you.
I know you're with Lola now, and I promise I won't let my feelings get in the way of your relationship or of our work.
Let me know if you need me.
Always good to see you, but you really didn't need to come all the way to the mark to meet me, Andrew.
You could've just e-mailed me Elizabeth's information.
That's why I came.
I don't think you should contact her, Chuck.
Look, I appreciate you looking out for me, but I've decided I wanna try and have a relationship with my mother.
That's the thing.
Elizabeth is not your mother.
I made contact.
She swore it wasn't her who donated the blood.
Said she was in a monastery in Tibet at the time.
A monastery? She's lying.
She's good at that.
I looked into it.
Her story checks out.
Keep looking.
Someone donated that blood.
I wanna know who.
What is this about? The sun hasn't set.
I feel like a prom queen doing the walk of shame.
You look like a princess.
Now I'm not gonna lie.
This is cubic zirconia that I got from a costume shop.
But you'll sell it.
Cubic zirconia does not touch this body.
Put it on, Blair.
I have hit rock bottom.
What is going on? I, uh, I thought you should get to feel like a princess one last time.
O.
M.
G.
! It's Blair Waldorf! You look beautiful! She's a real-life princess! Let's get a picture with her! Please.
Here! Yeah! Absolutely.
All right.
Everybody, smile! Smile bigger! I love your crown! So amazing! We love you! Thank you! Bye! Thank you.
It turns out that Lola staged that photo of herself in a fireman's jacket.
How desperate.
Doesn't she realize there can only be one "It Girl" for the Upper East Side? And that will always be Serena Van Der Woodsen.
Nate Archibald's office, please.
He's not available right now.
Tell him it's Lola.
He's in with Diana.
He asked not to be disturbed.
Hey, Lola! Can we get a picture? Look this way, please! Come on, Lola.
Look this way.
There you go.
Nice.
You must be happy to be home.
Um, very much, Vanya.
Thank you.
I will go back down and get Mr.
Humphrey's bags.
Well, um, actually, this is it for now.
Sometimes, we fight for something only to discover by the time we get it, our goals have changed.
For some, it's too late.
The lines have been drawn And the damage has been done.
But other times you get the thing you always wanted Only to find out it isn't what you really need.
Get ready, kids.
I'm back, and this time, I'm here to stay.
X.
O.
X.
O.
, Gossip Girl.
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5x19 - It Girl, Interrupted
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Privileged teens living on the Upper Eastside of New York City. You know you love me. xoxo
Privileged teens living on the Upper Eastside of New York City. You know you love me. xoxo
Re: 5x19 - It Girl, Interrupted
(OG version)
WOMAN:
Where has she been?
GOSSIP GIRL:
And who am I?
That's one secret I'll never tell.
You know you love me. XOXO...
...Gossip Girl.
GOSSIP GIRL: Every once in a while,
a life-changing event...
...will arrive with fanfare and excitement.
Miss Blair, package from legal firm
of Kier, Grandineti and Booth.
Divorce papers!
Ah, sweet legal freedom!
Thank God. I thought Louis
was gonna this drag on forever.
Georgina move fast.
-What do you think she do to make happen?
-It's best we don't think, Dorota.
Georgina went black ops on this one and
while I'm sure I'm gonna pay a price...
...for my plausible deniability...
...right now I'm just gonna enjoy
the bliss of ignorance.
Which means I can stop avoiding them,
and call Dan.
Ah. Now we can date outside
the confines of the 718.
We can walk down Madison Avenue,
hand-in-hand...
...without having to worry about
Louis changing his mind.
GOSSIP GIRL: In my experience,
most turning points in our lives...
...don't announce themselves.
If anything, they tend to creep up quietly
when we're least expecting them...
...and force us to make
a decision that isn't so easy.
Any word from Jack
or Andrew Tyler yet?
Jack's not returning my calls
and it's been a week.
And Andrew still hasn't been able
to track down Elizabeth.
Now that you know she's your mother...
...you, uh, think you want
a relationship with her?
I haven't decided yet and since she's MIA,
I don't have to.
In the meantime,
I'm going to head down to the spa...
...and meet Mandy and Micheala from
Hospitality and catch a steam. Coming?
Gotta get to the office.
Diana's finally making
an appearance today.
Oh, the two of you running The Spectator
again? Ready for combat?
No reason to think
we'll have anything to fight about.
She's an investor. I'm still Editor-In-Chief.
I'm not worried about it.
I told myself the same thing
before my night...
...with the Australian women's
softball team.
Then ended with a fractured rib
and a tattoo of a kangaroo...
...that I didn't know I had for a month.
Heh, listen, Diana and I may have ended
things badly on a personal level...
...but we always worked well together.
What does Lola think about you
working with your ex?
I don't know. I haven't, uh, exactly told her
about my past with Diana.
How could she not know?
I mean, you were
all over Gossip Girl, Page Six.
No, Lola has no interest in the
Upper East Side scene. Even if she did...
...what Diana and I used to be
doesn't matter anymore.
Maybe not to you.
But why else would Diana be back?
It can't be her love of journalism.
I don't know about that, but once
I get the lay of the land with Diana...
-...I'll tell Lola everything.
-Sound like you got it all figured it out.
Just don't be surprised if you end up
with an angry ex-girlfriend...
...and a tattoo of a kangaroo.
Hey, congratulations.
Dorota told me it's your first official day
as a single woman.
It's true. I'm finally freed of
the shackles of royal matrimony...
...and Louis' horrible family.
Now that you're ready to rejoin
the civilian population...
...how do you plan to spend your
first day as plain Blair Waldorf?
Oh, sure, yeah, with Dan. I'm....
Look, I know it hasn't been easy,
but I am happy for you.
[CELL PHONE BEEPS]
BLAIR:
Oh. Of course.
A Gossip Girl blast...
...about my divorce coming through.
How does she know everything so fast?
Probably has someone
in front of the building.
Know what's strange? Ever since
the real Gossip Girl's been back...
...I've barely been mentioned.
I just-- Ugh. I wish that there was a way
to stay off her radar forever.
Oh, please. It's your destiny
to be Gossip-worthy.
What? Tonight you are modeling
a line of lingerie...
...named after you
at Kiki de Montparnasse.
Gossip Girl won't be able to resist.
You're always her number one target.
You don't have any brilliant ideas
how to push me off her list?
-You really want out?
-I'm ready to move on with my life...
...and I can't do that with Gossip Girl
tracking my every move.
You need to replace yourself.
Find a new Serena.
Use your influence to anoint her
the new "It Girl."
Retain control,
but stay out of the spotlight.
Okay, well, where do I start?
At the beginning, of course,
with a defining moment.
You didn't really become
Serena van der Woodsen...
...until you got naked
on that aircraft carrier.
Don't make it sound like a porno.
We were on a school trip and I wasn't naked,
I was wearing a dress.
A white, wet dress. A photo landed
on Gossip Girl and that was it.
Gonna take a moment like that to
create the next Serena van der Woodsen.
Okay, what about you?
Now you're saying goodbye
to being a princess...
...does that mean you're ready to reclaim
your crown as Queen B?
[SIGHS]
If it's your mom's sister's family,
that means you gained an aunt, an uncle?
Yeah, heh, and two cousins:
Eric and Serena.
I'd kind of like to get to know
Serena a little bit better...
...but a whole family overnight
is kind of a lot.
You can't get to know her
unless you spend time together.
So, what, I just call her up and say:
"Hey, we're related. Let's hang out"?
That's so random.
Your mom really screwed you up,
didn't she?
-Nate. What are you doing here?
-Hey. I'm just on my way to work.
This is my friend Aidan,
from back home.
We went to acting camp together.
He's checking out Juilliard.
AIDAN:
Uh....
I'm gonna grab a paper, check out the
reviews for Peter and the Starcatcher.
Ah, well, uh, you've never
mentioned him before.
Do I sense a little jealousy?
No, Aidan's just a friend.
Besides, he's not my type...
...you are.
You wanna play hooky with us?
Ah, I can't. Got that new investor coming,
gotta meet with her.
That's right.
What's her name, Diana Payne?
-What do you know about her?
-Uh, well...
...she doesn't like it when people are late.
So I gotta run. See you guys later.
That was weird, wasn't it?
I mean, I mentioned that woman
and he just took off.
-What are you doing?
-There's this site called Gossip Girl.
I'm just gonna see if
there's anything about her on there.
Wow, she is hot.
After that, we have a Cindy Sherman
exhibit at the MoMA.
Tonight, a new restaurant
that opened--
Uh, I'm sorry, Dan. Cindy Sherman
and her unflattering self-portraits aside...
...it sounds like you planned a perfect day,
but it's going to have to wait.
The royal seal is missing
on my divorce papers.
I don't wanna let Louis get me
on a technicality.
Uh, if it's something that small,
maybe it could be resolved today?
Oh, I'm sure Louis' lawyers are gone.
The Monegasque work very short hours.
I want to spend the day with you,
so we could hang out here.
Well, uh, Serena's around.
We shouldn't rub it in her face.
I'll call you later.
Song lyrics. Vanya and I love karaoke.
Dorota, while your reputation
for loyalty is unassailable...
...you and I know
something's going on.
Just leave the song lyrics on the table
and step out of the room for a moment.
You won't see a thing.
Only because I worry.
GOSSIP GIRL:
Sometimes, even the best laid plans fall apart.
MAN:
How's that?
Excellent, just get the right hand side
down a bit.
Hello, darling. Did you miss me?
What the hell are you doing?
You didn't think you'd get to keep the office?
You're gonna love your new cubicle.
GOSSIP GIRL: Or you hit a wall
when you were expecting a door.
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
-Hey.
-Hey, Lola, what's up?
I just found out that the new investor in
The Spectator is Diana Payne...
...Nate's ex-girlfriend.
He totally lied to me about her.
I don't know what to do,
I really like him.
GOSSIP GIRL:
But every now and then, you get lucky...
...and the universe
delivers the perfect solution.
You know what? Um, I'm actually really glad
you came to me...
...because I know exactly what to do.
Come on, let's go.
GOSSIP GIRL: Get ready, Lola,
because whatever Serena wants...
...Lola's gonna get.
Just get out of my office, please.
I'm an investor in this paper,
which I think entitles me to an office.
And I choose this one.
No, being an investor means
you don't actually need to be here.
You're not a majority shareholder
and it's my name on the masthead.
Not for long. You think
advertisers are going to want...
...to do business with a kid
now that I'm back?
-They haven't had a problem so far.
-Oh, please.
I've done the research, my love.
Advertising is down.
[SCOFFS]
You never did understand that sex sells.
Fortunately, I do.
Which is why I'm co-hosting a
"Down to Your Skivvies" party tonight...
...at Kiki de Montparnasse.
After tonight, everyone's gonna be
talking about how I'm back...
-...and your days are numbered.
-Heh.
You can't sponsor
a Spectator party without me.
-I'm not. I'm doing it on my own.
-If you're inviting advertisers...
...everyone's gonna think
it's related to the paper and I'll be there.
Fine. If you insist.
I'm assuming no plus-one?
Oh, I'll be bringing my girlfriend, Lola.
No problem.
Enjoy your last day in here.
So, what do you say we get out of here,
go have a nice lunch at Daniel...
...and go shopping at Barneys?
Actually, I just came back from the city.
-Oh.
-I, uh, went to see Ivy.
I asked her if she'd be willing
to move out of the apartment...
-...if we unfroze the assets.
-What?
We don't negotiate with t*rrorists,
especially ones from Florida.
You don't have the right
to speak on my behalf.
I know, and I didn't agree to anything.
But, sweetie, Ivy did.
She offered to leave as soon
as you call your lawyers.
We could have you back in
by end of day.
That is such a wonderful thing to do for me.
But unfreezing the assets...
...means letting Ivy have my mother's money.
I don't think I can live with that.
You have enough money for generations
of Rhodes to live comfortably.
[SIGHS]
Does that exhale mean you'll call the
lawyer and unfreeze the assets?
Yes, fine. You're right.
Good. I'll start packing,
and then we'll go celebrate.
Your mother's been in Vienna
for the past six months.
I have an address and number,
but haven't made contact yet.
How do you want me to proceed?
I'm not sure.
The fact that she was harder to find
than a fugitive isn't lost on me.
Clearly, the woman
doesn't want to be found.
I don't know that
I can advise you, Chuck.
At this point, maybe you need a friend
more than a private investigator.
Anyone in your life who got to know
Elizabeth the last time she was here?
Maybe you wanna talk to them.
Figure out what it is you really want...
...and what to expect
before you pursue this any further.
The one person who was there
the whole way through...
...is the one person
that's not in my life anymore.
Blair Waldorf.
Then why did you pay her dowry?
She doesn't know I did.
I don't want her to find out ever.
Okay.
But even if that is the case,
does that mean you can't talk to her?
-Thank you, Tracy. It's perfect.
TRACY: Oh, great.
We're excited you'll
be modeling "The Serena."
Browse, if you see
anything you like, let me know.
-Okay.
LOLA: So am I totally overreacting?
About Nate, I mean--
That looked amazing.
Oh, thank you, uh, look, Nate is a
great guy, but Diana is aggressive.
I don't know why she's back, but it's safe
to say it has something to do with him.
I'm not interested
in competing with someone.
It's not about competing.
Even if there was no Diana...
...your not wanting to be a part of
his world is not a good idea.
He's your boyfriend,
part of a relationship is sharing interests.
I do. Everything but parties
and the Upper East Side social order.
Like it or not, that's a big part
of his life and work.
If you don't start meeting halfway,
you leave room for someone who will.
-Like Diana.
-So, what do I do?
Try this on.
[CHUCKLES]
It's gorgeous, but I couldn't.
Wow. Because it costs more
than a semester at Juilliard.
Not for us, it doesn't.
You heard Tracy. She said it's on them.
Come on. It's one of the many perks
of being an "It Girl."
Go on. Heh.
[ALARM RINGING]
Come on. We need to get out of here.
Blair has the papers.
She hasn't signed them.
Now that us as a couple is reality,
maybe it's freaking her out.
I think you're just kind of
Humphrey-ing out here, man.
Oh. The Editor-in-Chief is chit-chatting
with his bro instead of working.
And you wonder why the paper
isn't doing so well.
The most recent numbers.
Dismal.
Seriously, Diana is the only investor
you could find?
Chuck was gonna step in,
but the timing was off...
...and, uh, he wasn't liquid enough.
Chuck Bass wasn't liquid?
How's that possible?
I shouldn't have even brought it up.
Why? Does, uh, this have to do with Blair?
If Chuck did something,
you gotta tell me.
It's nothing bad, it's good. I don't know
why Chuck insists on keeping it quiet. Heh.
If it's good, what's the deal?
You know what I'm up against.
All right, fine,
but you didn't hear it from me. Okay?
Chuck didn't have the money
because he paid off Blair's dowry.
Oh, my God.
That's why she didn't sign the papers.
She must have found out
and now she's having second thoughts.
He was trying to do a nice thing.
Come on, you really believe that?
This is Chuck we're talking about.
I gotta go.
Why you lie to Mr. Dan
about signing the papers?
Sneak up on me like that again
and I'm gonna start making you wear a bell.
-I want answer.
-Divorce is a private matter.
You'll see someday. If you want to make
yourself useful, call the car around.
If you tell me why you don't sign papers,
otherwise you take taxi.
I'm going to do it.
I just need a little more time.
For what?
Heh, it makes no sense,
but I feel like once I sign those papers...
...I'm closing the door on something
that I'm not quite ready to let go of.
-Marriage to Louis?
-No.
Then what?
[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]
Oh, my God. So the entire Upper East Side
is seeing this photo of me?
Well, not just the Upper East Side.
It is the Internet.
But this is exactly what we wanted.
Between that photo and the news
that you're the real Charlie Rhodes...
-...everyone will be talking about you.
-About how I'm an exhibitionist...
...with a freak for a mom.
[CELL PHONE BEEPS]
Oh, I just got an e-mail from
Tracy at Kiki de Montparnasse.
[SERENA GASPS]
She wants you to model at the party.
No. No, no. That's not going to happen.
What better way to show Nate
you're willing to make an effort...
...and, not to mention,
Diana is one of the party sponsors.
-You think Nate's gonna be going?
-Of course he will.
I shouldn't jump to conclusions.
I should probably just go talk to him myself.
[TYPING ON KEYBOARD]
-I'll let you know, okay?
-Um, yeah, sure.
[PHONE BEEPS]
Lola, I don't want to freak you out...
...but, um, you may want to check
Gossip Girl again.
GOSSIP GIRL: Word is that
Diana and Nate are going to tonight's...
..."Down to Your Skivvies"
party together.
Guess their relationship just went
from business to pleasure.
I thought I moved on...
...that this whole business with my
mother was in the past.
I could live with the uncertainty
because the woman I met...
...I didn't care
if she was my mother or not.
But then I found out she did this
extraordinary thing for me.
Is it wrong to think that changes things?
No, of course not. But...
[SIGHS]
...what I don't understand is
what you want from me.
Just someone to talk to, I guess.
Someone who'll understand.
You met her.
You know what I went through.
Is it worth it to try and reach out again?
I don't know, Chuck.
But I'm not sure I'm the one to ask.
Why? Because of Humphrey?
I'm not trying to work an angle here.
I'm coming to you as a friend.
No, you're not.
You're working right back into my life...
-...and you're using your mother to do it.
-Blair--
Sorry if I sound harsh, but we both know
we've never been good as friends.
There's always been an agenda.
Am I wrong?
No, you're not wrong.
Chuck, what are you doing here?
Thought I was coming to see a friend
for advice.
Apparently, I made a mistake.
What's going on?
You know how I got that
blood transfusion at the hospital?
It was Elizabeth.
Apparently, she is my mother,
but she's pulled a disappearing act.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it
to track her down.
And try and build a relationship.
Well, if you're asking me, I'd say do it.
I mean, I know it's scary...
...but when it comes to reconnecting
with family, it's worth the risk.
Thanks.
-I'm telling you, it's not true.
-Then why was it on Gossip Girl?
-I have no idea.
-Why should I believe that?
You already lied to me
about having a relationship with Diana.
You're right, and that was dumb
and I'm really sorry about that.
But there is nothing going on right now.
Why do you keep
nervously looking at the door?
Diana made it clear
she's determined to push me out.
And the last thing I need is a fight
with my girlfriend at the office.
Okay, well,
we can discuss it tonight then.
I can't tonight. I have to go to this party.
What? You don't even like
events like this.
The only reason you want to go
is because you think I'm lying to you.
This is a work event,
not a personal one, okay?
I'm sorry.
[CELL PHONE BEEPS]
[CELL PHONE RINGS]
Hey, is there anything
you want to tell me?
Let me guess. You saw on Gossip Girl
that Chuck came by.
-I can explain.
-No, you don't have to.
I already know about the dowry.
What are you talking about?
About how, uh, Chuck paid your dowry.
If that's why you didn't sign the divorce
papers, I just wish you would tell me.
No, I had no idea Chuck paid it.
None. I thought it was Georgina.
I gotta go.
-Where?
-To find him.
Him who? Chuck?
[CELL PHONE RINGS]
-Hello.
MAN [OVER PHONE]: This is John Rosen...
...Ivy Dickens' lawyer.
My client got a call from a bank officer...
...informing her that there was
a check waiting.
Yes, my, uh, wife unfroze the assets.
ROSEN:
That's what Ivy thought.
So she packed up,
left her keys and went to go get the check.
But when she got to the bank, they
had no idea what she was talking about.
I couldn't help but overhear
your little lover's spat.
I'm sorry Lola won't be coming tonight,
but it presents an opportunity.
What if you and I went together?
Well, I appreciate the olive branch,
but I think it sends the wrong message.
Lola's my girlfriend.
I don't want to hurt her.
It's just business. What's the risk?
-What's the point?
-It looks good to advertisers.
Us playing nice.
Let's use this night
to send a message to the town...
...that The Spectator is back
to being a well-oiled machine.
Hey.
So Nate swears there's nothing
going on with Diana...
...but he also refuses
to bring me as his date tonight.
I'm sorry.
Well, you just have two options then.
You either stay home and do nothing.
Or you come with me to the party
and you model.
Tell Tracy I'll be there.
With a date.
Diana better watch out. I'm ready.
GOSSIP GIRL: Everyone's been talking
about Manhattan's latest arrival...
...Lola Rhodes.
And word is that tonight...
...you're going to see
a whole lot more of her.
[CHARLOTTE GAINSBOURG'S "TERRIBLE
ANGELS" PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]
My head is pounding
My mouth is dry
My eyes are burning
Oh I can see you lowering
Pan de sal
Hey. They do not have parties
like this in Florida.
They barely have dental hygiene
in Florida.
Ooh, open bar. Be right back.
Hey, nice touch with the hot guy.
Oh, thanks.
So have you seen them yet?
[CHATTERING]
Okay. Don't tell me they're not on a date.
And she's even more beautiful in person.
That's annoying.
Don't worry.
As soon as she sees you model...
...she's not only gonna see you're a force
to be reckoned with and back off...
...but you and Nate will be
the hottest couple on the circuit.
You will surpass me as New York's
"It Girl" in no time.
Oh, no. No one can surpass you.
Especially not me.
You can. And you will.
Nothing would make me happier.
Let's go find Tracy
so we can start getting ready.
Actually, I think I'm gonna
introduce myself to Diana first.
Go for it. Good luck.
Hey, Nate. You remember Aidan?
What are you doing here?
Careful. You don't want to cause a scene.
This is a business party, after all.
Hi, I'm Lola Rhodes.
I don't think we've ever met.
-This is my date, Aidan Hill.
-Oh. It's a pleasure.
I'm surprised to see you.
Nate said you wouldn't make it.
-I was invited to model tonight.
-What? I didn't know that.
Why would you?
It's not like we were coming together, heh.
Maybe Diana and I should, uh, get a drink
while you two talk.
Actually, Nate and I need to go
and say hello to a few people.
Lola, maybe it's time for you to show
Aidan what you're modeling tonight.
Otherwise you might lose two men
to me in one day.
LILY:
I brought lattes to help us pack.
I heard from Ivy's lawyer.
She got a call saying
there was a cashier's check.
She moved out. It wasn't there.
Do you know anything about this?
Yes. I never called the lawyers.
But now that she's out, I need
to legally make sure she can't get back in.
And the call about the check?
It was a ruse
to get her out of the apartment.
Rufus, you're not going to get me
to feel any remorse.
Ivy lied about who she was.
She manipulated my mother
while she lay dying...
...and she stole our apartment.
Look, frankly I think she deserves
exactly what she's getting.
But you didn't just lie to her,
you lied to me.
But, Rufus, I'm sorry I kept it from you.
I knew you wouldn't be
comfortable with it.
I had to protect you from the truth.
This isn't what a marriage is.
We have to be honest with each other.
I know, but this was
an extreme situation.
I did what had to be done.
Maybe I'm seeing clearly
because of the view from Brooklyn.
I'm not okay with this.
Rufus, I know you're upset,
but how can you be so righteous?
We're talking about someone
that stole from us.
Ah, oh, my God.
Can we please just stop fighting?
-Can we just pack and go home?
-Yeah, I don't know, Lily.
Right now, this loft feels a lot more
like home than our apartment.
As you can see, Nate,
everyone's very excited I'm back.
No one more so than you, apparently.
Makes me wonder. It's a buyers' market
right now for newspapers.
If you wanted one,
you could have gone anywhere.
What are you getting at?
-I think you came back for me.
-Ha, ha.
-You're adorable.
-No, I'm serious.
I think you spent the last few months
in L.A. trying to convince yourself...
...that I was nothing,
just a fling with a younger guy.
But the fact is you couldn't get over me.
Really? Then explain this.
Come with me.
Where is my date going?
Exactly where we wanted him to.
-Blair, what are you doing here?
-Looking for you.
At first I wasn't sure
where I could find you...
...but then I realized,
look for the lingerie models.
So tell me, is it true?
Did you pay my dowry?
-Who told you that?
-Tell me if it's true.
-Why does it matter?
-Ugh.
I knew it.
You thought you could buy me back.
Like you thought...
...you could sell me for your hotel.
You got it all wrong.
That's why you showed up
with that ruse today about friendship.
You bought my divorce
and came to collect your prize.
Then why didn't I collect?
I swear I did not want you
to know about the dowry.
The only people that knew
were Nate and Andrew Tyler.
I just wanted you to be free.
Whom you choose to love
with that freedom is up to you.
I'm sorry, Blair.
I thought you knew.
Oh.
[DIANA MOANS]
-You're right, he's a good actor.
-I don't think he's acting all that much.
[DOOR OPENS]
Wait, you two are working together?
What's this,
some kind of revenge on Diana?
Yes, but let me explain it to you.
I-- I can't believe this.
You, whatever.
But, Lola, you totally used me.
Just go talk to her.
We got what we needed, all right.
GOSSIP GIRL: Uh-oh, Nate, looks like your
dirty movie just got an unhappy ending.
What the hell do you think you're doing?
Filming you and Aidan.
Oh, and he's 16, by the way.
Not sure how you're going to run
The Spectator from jail.
-And you recorded it?
-Yup.
You have not lost your touch, by the way.
So, what do you think?
The front page of The Spectator
or just let Gossip Girl run with it?
Go ahead, send the video
wherever you want.
If what's-his-name really is 16...
...you'll be in prison
right there next to me...
...for recording and distributing
child p*rn*graphy.
[SIGHS]
Go enjoy the show.
See you at work tomorrow.
So, uh, are you okay?
Yeah. I guess I'm just not used
to seeing Chuck do anything selfless.
Yeah, well, people can surprise us.
Even Chuck. I saw the divorce papers.
The seal was there
but they weren't signed.
I thought you must have known
that he paid the dowry.
No.
No, this has nothing to do with Chuck.
-Or the dowry.
-Well, then-- Then why?
[CHUCKLES]
My whole life, I wanted to be a princess.
And when I met Louis,
it was this whole whirlwind...
...of royalty and tiaras.
And it seemed like
my dream was coming true.
I mean, I may have married a prince,
but I never really got to be a princess.
I know it's silly, but...
...I think it was just one more loss
I needed to mourn before moving on.
When I first came to you, it was because
I needed advice. And I wanted yours.
And when you agreed
to come with me to the party?
I needed to make it look like I was in a fight
with Nate in front of Diana.
I know you really want
this "It Girl" title for me...
...and I'm so flattered
that you think I could ever live up to it.
To be honest with you Serena,
I don't care about that kind of thing.
And neither does Nate. So...
...I'm so sorry.
I hope we can still be friends.
Why would I want to be?
I put myself on the line for you
and then all you did was let me down.
Okay, ladies, time to get in position.
There's been a small change in the plans.
Yeah, Lola's not modeling.
-What?
-She can explain.
Uh, Serena, I need to talk to you.
Oh, I'm so sorry about Lola.
I know it's an inconvenience.
It's not that. After that photograph today
we thought we'd get more buzz...
...if we changed
"The Serena" to "The Lola."
I need you to model something else.
Seriously? Minutes ago
that would have been great news.
But now? You asked me to do this.
I have a model to take your place.
We'd love to see you in something else.
Sorry, but you can't. We can't have
Serena being the face of "The Lola."
Please, come with me.
GOSSIP GIRL:
Spotted.
Serena van der Woodsen blowing
off the Kiki fashion show.
Looks like this party
just went from "so hot" to "so not."
Hey.
I just want you to let you know
how sorry I am about last night.
I really appreciate everything
with the whole "It Girl" thing.
No, it's okay.
I shouldn't have pushed you to do it.
It's clearly not for you, heh.
Actually, it might be.
I got a call from an agent this morning.
She saw my photo on Gossip Girl
and wants set up a meeting with me.
What, um-- What does Nate
have to say about it?
I thought he didn't care about you
being an "It Girl."
Yeah, I know, he doesn't, but, um...
...he's supportive of my acting career.
So he's happy.
And anyway, it's how
you use your power that counts, right?
Sure, heh.
How do you plan to use yours?
Well, I was thinking that instead
of being an "It Girl" like you...
-...beautiful and unobtainable...
-Heh.
...maybe
I could be more of an "Every Girl."
You know, like someone
everyone can relate to.
I don't know. Maybe that's dumb.
Is that stupid?
No, no, no.
No, heh, I just think, you know...
...these things usually come and go
pretty quickly, so I just--
I wouldn't get used to it, you know.
But, um, there are some things
that I have to do.
Maybe I can call you later
and we can hang out?
Okay, yeah.
[SIGHS]
Can we talk?
Sure.
I don't think I realized just how upset
you were with me till last night.
Or how much you were willing
to fight for The Spectator.
I've been putting my heart and soul
into this paper.
-Of course I'm gonna fight for it.
-I'd like us to work together.
Well, I don't know how
to do that anymore.
Well...
...I could apologize, for starters.
For not being honest
from the very beginning...
...about being in business
with your grandfather.
It was a terrible thing to do to you.
Thank you.
Is that it?
I could apologize for last night,
but I thought that was a draw.
Heh, what about all the Gossip Girl
sources you released?
I didn't do that.
I thought you'd have found out by now.
After your grandfather intervened,
it was all over.
I thought it would be easier
for you to hate me.
And frankly, I think I wanted to punish
myself a little for what I did to you.
[CHUCKLES]
So about us working together,
what's that gonna look like?
The Spectator is yours.
I'm just here in a support capacity.
In the meantime, I have some business
I need to take care of.
That's gonna be my main focus.
And I've found another office downstairs.
Deal?
Deal.
There's one more thing
I should come clean about.
You were right about me
still having feelings for you.
I know you're with Lola now,
and I promise...
...I won't let my feelings get in the way
of your relationship or of our work.
Let me know if you need me.
Good to see you but you didn't
need to come all the way...
...to The Mark to meet me, Andrew.
You could have just e-mailed me.
That's why I came. I don't think
you should contact her, Chuck.
Look, I appreciate you looking out,
but I want a relationship with my mother.
That's the thing.
Elizabeth is not your mother.
I made contact. She swore it wasn't her
who donated the blood.
Said she was in a monastery in Tibet
at the time.
A monastery? She's lying.
She's good at that.
I looked into it. Her story checks out.
Keep looking.
Someone donated that blood.
I want to know who.
What is this about?
Look, the sun hasn't set.
I feel like a prom queen
doing the walk of shame.
You look like a princess. Now, I'm not
gonna lie. This is cubic zirconia...
...that I got from a costume shop.
But you'll sell it.
-Cubic zirconia does not touch this body.
-Ha, ha.
Put it on, Blair.
[SIGHS]
I have hit rock bottom.
What is going on?
I, uh, thought you should get to feel
like a princess one last time.
GIRL 1: OMG! It's Blair Waldorf!
GIRL 2: I can't believe this is happening.
GIRL 3: You look beautiful!
GIRL 4: She's a real-life princess.
Let's get a picture with her! Here.
-Yeah, absolutely.
GIRL 5: Okay, ready, guys?
Everybody smile. Smile bigger!
[GIRLS GIGGLING]
GIRL 1: Thank you.
GIRL 2: I love your crown!
GIRL 3: Oh, my God, you're amazing.
GIRL 4: Stunning.
-Amazing.
-Love you.
GIRL 5:
Bye! Thank you.
Thank you.
[CELL PHONE BEEPS]
GOSSIP GIRL: It turns out that Lola staged
that photo of herself in a fireman's jacket.
How desperate. Doesn't she realize
there can only be one "It Girl"...
...on the Upper East Side? And that
will always be Serena van der Woodsen.
Nate Archibald's office, please.
WOMAN [OVER PHONE]:
He's not available right now.
-Tell him it's Lola.
WOMAN: He's in with Diana.
He asked not to be disturbed.
MAN 1: Hey, Lola. Can we get a picture?
MAN 2: Look this way.
MAN 1:
Come on, Lola. Look this way. Great.
[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]
You must be happy to be home.
Um, very much, Vanya. Thank you.
I will go back down
and get Mr. Humphrey's bags.
Well, um, actually, this is it for now.
GOSSIP GIRL:
Sometimes we fight for something...
...only to discover
by the time we get it...
...our goals have changed.
[SIGHS]
For some, it's too late.
The lines have been drawn.
[CELL PHONE BEEPS]
And the damage has been done.
But other times,
you get the thing you always wanted...
...only to find out
it isn't what you really need.
Get ready, kids, I'm back,
and this time, I'm here to stay.
XOXO, Gossip Girl.
WOMAN:
Where has she been?
GOSSIP GIRL:
And who am I?
That's one secret I'll never tell.
You know you love me. XOXO...
...Gossip Girl.
GOSSIP GIRL: Every once in a while,
a life-changing event...
...will arrive with fanfare and excitement.
Miss Blair, package from legal firm
of Kier, Grandineti and Booth.
Divorce papers!
Ah, sweet legal freedom!
Thank God. I thought Louis
was gonna this drag on forever.
Georgina move fast.
-What do you think she do to make happen?
-It's best we don't think, Dorota.
Georgina went black ops on this one and
while I'm sure I'm gonna pay a price...
...for my plausible deniability...
...right now I'm just gonna enjoy
the bliss of ignorance.
Which means I can stop avoiding them,
and call Dan.
Ah. Now we can date outside
the confines of the 718.
We can walk down Madison Avenue,
hand-in-hand...
...without having to worry about
Louis changing his mind.
GOSSIP GIRL: In my experience,
most turning points in our lives...
...don't announce themselves.
If anything, they tend to creep up quietly
when we're least expecting them...
...and force us to make
a decision that isn't so easy.
Any word from Jack
or Andrew Tyler yet?
Jack's not returning my calls
and it's been a week.
And Andrew still hasn't been able
to track down Elizabeth.
Now that you know she's your mother...
...you, uh, think you want
a relationship with her?
I haven't decided yet and since she's MIA,
I don't have to.
In the meantime,
I'm going to head down to the spa...
...and meet Mandy and Micheala from
Hospitality and catch a steam. Coming?
Gotta get to the office.
Diana's finally making
an appearance today.
Oh, the two of you running The Spectator
again? Ready for combat?
No reason to think
we'll have anything to fight about.
She's an investor. I'm still Editor-In-Chief.
I'm not worried about it.
I told myself the same thing
before my night...
...with the Australian women's
softball team.
Then ended with a fractured rib
and a tattoo of a kangaroo...
...that I didn't know I had for a month.
Heh, listen, Diana and I may have ended
things badly on a personal level...
...but we always worked well together.
What does Lola think about you
working with your ex?
I don't know. I haven't, uh, exactly told her
about my past with Diana.
How could she not know?
I mean, you were
all over Gossip Girl, Page Six.
No, Lola has no interest in the
Upper East Side scene. Even if she did...
...what Diana and I used to be
doesn't matter anymore.
Maybe not to you.
But why else would Diana be back?
It can't be her love of journalism.
I don't know about that, but once
I get the lay of the land with Diana...
-...I'll tell Lola everything.
-Sound like you got it all figured it out.
Just don't be surprised if you end up
with an angry ex-girlfriend...
...and a tattoo of a kangaroo.
Hey, congratulations.
Dorota told me it's your first official day
as a single woman.
It's true. I'm finally freed of
the shackles of royal matrimony...
...and Louis' horrible family.
Now that you're ready to rejoin
the civilian population...
...how do you plan to spend your
first day as plain Blair Waldorf?
Oh, sure, yeah, with Dan. I'm....
Look, I know it hasn't been easy,
but I am happy for you.
[CELL PHONE BEEPS]
BLAIR:
Oh. Of course.
A Gossip Girl blast...
...about my divorce coming through.
How does she know everything so fast?
Probably has someone
in front of the building.
Know what's strange? Ever since
the real Gossip Girl's been back...
...I've barely been mentioned.
I just-- Ugh. I wish that there was a way
to stay off her radar forever.
Oh, please. It's your destiny
to be Gossip-worthy.
What? Tonight you are modeling
a line of lingerie...
...named after you
at Kiki de Montparnasse.
Gossip Girl won't be able to resist.
You're always her number one target.
You don't have any brilliant ideas
how to push me off her list?
-You really want out?
-I'm ready to move on with my life...
...and I can't do that with Gossip Girl
tracking my every move.
You need to replace yourself.
Find a new Serena.
Use your influence to anoint her
the new "It Girl."
Retain control,
but stay out of the spotlight.
Okay, well, where do I start?
At the beginning, of course,
with a defining moment.
You didn't really become
Serena van der Woodsen...
...until you got naked
on that aircraft carrier.
Don't make it sound like a porno.
We were on a school trip and I wasn't naked,
I was wearing a dress.
A white, wet dress. A photo landed
on Gossip Girl and that was it.
Gonna take a moment like that to
create the next Serena van der Woodsen.
Okay, what about you?
Now you're saying goodbye
to being a princess...
...does that mean you're ready to reclaim
your crown as Queen B?
[SIGHS]
If it's your mom's sister's family,
that means you gained an aunt, an uncle?
Yeah, heh, and two cousins:
Eric and Serena.
I'd kind of like to get to know
Serena a little bit better...
...but a whole family overnight
is kind of a lot.
You can't get to know her
unless you spend time together.
So, what, I just call her up and say:
"Hey, we're related. Let's hang out"?
That's so random.
Your mom really screwed you up,
didn't she?
-Nate. What are you doing here?
-Hey. I'm just on my way to work.
This is my friend Aidan,
from back home.
We went to acting camp together.
He's checking out Juilliard.
AIDAN:
Uh....
I'm gonna grab a paper, check out the
reviews for Peter and the Starcatcher.
Ah, well, uh, you've never
mentioned him before.
Do I sense a little jealousy?
No, Aidan's just a friend.
Besides, he's not my type...
...you are.
You wanna play hooky with us?
Ah, I can't. Got that new investor coming,
gotta meet with her.
That's right.
What's her name, Diana Payne?
-What do you know about her?
-Uh, well...
...she doesn't like it when people are late.
So I gotta run. See you guys later.
That was weird, wasn't it?
I mean, I mentioned that woman
and he just took off.
-What are you doing?
-There's this site called Gossip Girl.
I'm just gonna see if
there's anything about her on there.
Wow, she is hot.
After that, we have a Cindy Sherman
exhibit at the MoMA.
Tonight, a new restaurant
that opened--
Uh, I'm sorry, Dan. Cindy Sherman
and her unflattering self-portraits aside...
...it sounds like you planned a perfect day,
but it's going to have to wait.
The royal seal is missing
on my divorce papers.
I don't wanna let Louis get me
on a technicality.
Uh, if it's something that small,
maybe it could be resolved today?
Oh, I'm sure Louis' lawyers are gone.
The Monegasque work very short hours.
I want to spend the day with you,
so we could hang out here.
Well, uh, Serena's around.
We shouldn't rub it in her face.
I'll call you later.
Song lyrics. Vanya and I love karaoke.
Dorota, while your reputation
for loyalty is unassailable...
...you and I know
something's going on.
Just leave the song lyrics on the table
and step out of the room for a moment.
You won't see a thing.
Only because I worry.
GOSSIP GIRL:
Sometimes, even the best laid plans fall apart.
MAN:
How's that?
Excellent, just get the right hand side
down a bit.
Hello, darling. Did you miss me?
What the hell are you doing?
You didn't think you'd get to keep the office?
You're gonna love your new cubicle.
GOSSIP GIRL: Or you hit a wall
when you were expecting a door.
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
-Hey.
-Hey, Lola, what's up?
I just found out that the new investor in
The Spectator is Diana Payne...
...Nate's ex-girlfriend.
He totally lied to me about her.
I don't know what to do,
I really like him.
GOSSIP GIRL:
But every now and then, you get lucky...
...and the universe
delivers the perfect solution.
You know what? Um, I'm actually really glad
you came to me...
...because I know exactly what to do.
Come on, let's go.
GOSSIP GIRL: Get ready, Lola,
because whatever Serena wants...
...Lola's gonna get.
Just get out of my office, please.
I'm an investor in this paper,
which I think entitles me to an office.
And I choose this one.
No, being an investor means
you don't actually need to be here.
You're not a majority shareholder
and it's my name on the masthead.
Not for long. You think
advertisers are going to want...
...to do business with a kid
now that I'm back?
-They haven't had a problem so far.
-Oh, please.
I've done the research, my love.
Advertising is down.
[SCOFFS]
You never did understand that sex sells.
Fortunately, I do.
Which is why I'm co-hosting a
"Down to Your Skivvies" party tonight...
...at Kiki de Montparnasse.
After tonight, everyone's gonna be
talking about how I'm back...
-...and your days are numbered.
-Heh.
You can't sponsor
a Spectator party without me.
-I'm not. I'm doing it on my own.
-If you're inviting advertisers...
...everyone's gonna think
it's related to the paper and I'll be there.
Fine. If you insist.
I'm assuming no plus-one?
Oh, I'll be bringing my girlfriend, Lola.
No problem.
Enjoy your last day in here.
So, what do you say we get out of here,
go have a nice lunch at Daniel...
...and go shopping at Barneys?
Actually, I just came back from the city.
-Oh.
-I, uh, went to see Ivy.
I asked her if she'd be willing
to move out of the apartment...
-...if we unfroze the assets.
-What?
We don't negotiate with t*rrorists,
especially ones from Florida.
You don't have the right
to speak on my behalf.
I know, and I didn't agree to anything.
But, sweetie, Ivy did.
She offered to leave as soon
as you call your lawyers.
We could have you back in
by end of day.
That is such a wonderful thing to do for me.
But unfreezing the assets...
...means letting Ivy have my mother's money.
I don't think I can live with that.
You have enough money for generations
of Rhodes to live comfortably.
[SIGHS]
Does that exhale mean you'll call the
lawyer and unfreeze the assets?
Yes, fine. You're right.
Good. I'll start packing,
and then we'll go celebrate.
Your mother's been in Vienna
for the past six months.
I have an address and number,
but haven't made contact yet.
How do you want me to proceed?
I'm not sure.
The fact that she was harder to find
than a fugitive isn't lost on me.
Clearly, the woman
doesn't want to be found.
I don't know that
I can advise you, Chuck.
At this point, maybe you need a friend
more than a private investigator.
Anyone in your life who got to know
Elizabeth the last time she was here?
Maybe you wanna talk to them.
Figure out what it is you really want...
...and what to expect
before you pursue this any further.
The one person who was there
the whole way through...
...is the one person
that's not in my life anymore.
Blair Waldorf.
Then why did you pay her dowry?
She doesn't know I did.
I don't want her to find out ever.
Okay.
But even if that is the case,
does that mean you can't talk to her?
-Thank you, Tracy. It's perfect.
TRACY: Oh, great.
We're excited you'll
be modeling "The Serena."
Browse, if you see
anything you like, let me know.
-Okay.
LOLA: So am I totally overreacting?
About Nate, I mean--
That looked amazing.
Oh, thank you, uh, look, Nate is a
great guy, but Diana is aggressive.
I don't know why she's back, but it's safe
to say it has something to do with him.
I'm not interested
in competing with someone.
It's not about competing.
Even if there was no Diana...
...your not wanting to be a part of
his world is not a good idea.
He's your boyfriend,
part of a relationship is sharing interests.
I do. Everything but parties
and the Upper East Side social order.
Like it or not, that's a big part
of his life and work.
If you don't start meeting halfway,
you leave room for someone who will.
-Like Diana.
-So, what do I do?
Try this on.
[CHUCKLES]
It's gorgeous, but I couldn't.
Wow. Because it costs more
than a semester at Juilliard.
Not for us, it doesn't.
You heard Tracy. She said it's on them.
Come on. It's one of the many perks
of being an "It Girl."
Go on. Heh.
[ALARM RINGING]
Come on. We need to get out of here.
Blair has the papers.
She hasn't signed them.
Now that us as a couple is reality,
maybe it's freaking her out.
I think you're just kind of
Humphrey-ing out here, man.
Oh. The Editor-in-Chief is chit-chatting
with his bro instead of working.
And you wonder why the paper
isn't doing so well.
The most recent numbers.
Dismal.
Seriously, Diana is the only investor
you could find?
Chuck was gonna step in,
but the timing was off...
...and, uh, he wasn't liquid enough.
Chuck Bass wasn't liquid?
How's that possible?
I shouldn't have even brought it up.
Why? Does, uh, this have to do with Blair?
If Chuck did something,
you gotta tell me.
It's nothing bad, it's good. I don't know
why Chuck insists on keeping it quiet. Heh.
If it's good, what's the deal?
You know what I'm up against.
All right, fine,
but you didn't hear it from me. Okay?
Chuck didn't have the money
because he paid off Blair's dowry.
Oh, my God.
That's why she didn't sign the papers.
She must have found out
and now she's having second thoughts.
He was trying to do a nice thing.
Come on, you really believe that?
This is Chuck we're talking about.
I gotta go.
Why you lie to Mr. Dan
about signing the papers?
Sneak up on me like that again
and I'm gonna start making you wear a bell.
-I want answer.
-Divorce is a private matter.
You'll see someday. If you want to make
yourself useful, call the car around.
If you tell me why you don't sign papers,
otherwise you take taxi.
I'm going to do it.
I just need a little more time.
For what?
Heh, it makes no sense,
but I feel like once I sign those papers...
...I'm closing the door on something
that I'm not quite ready to let go of.
-Marriage to Louis?
-No.
Then what?
[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]
Oh, my God. So the entire Upper East Side
is seeing this photo of me?
Well, not just the Upper East Side.
It is the Internet.
But this is exactly what we wanted.
Between that photo and the news
that you're the real Charlie Rhodes...
-...everyone will be talking about you.
-About how I'm an exhibitionist...
...with a freak for a mom.
[CELL PHONE BEEPS]
Oh, I just got an e-mail from
Tracy at Kiki de Montparnasse.
[SERENA GASPS]
She wants you to model at the party.
No. No, no. That's not going to happen.
What better way to show Nate
you're willing to make an effort...
...and, not to mention,
Diana is one of the party sponsors.
-You think Nate's gonna be going?
-Of course he will.
I shouldn't jump to conclusions.
I should probably just go talk to him myself.
[TYPING ON KEYBOARD]
-I'll let you know, okay?
-Um, yeah, sure.
[PHONE BEEPS]
Lola, I don't want to freak you out...
...but, um, you may want to check
Gossip Girl again.
GOSSIP GIRL: Word is that
Diana and Nate are going to tonight's...
..."Down to Your Skivvies"
party together.
Guess their relationship just went
from business to pleasure.
I thought I moved on...
...that this whole business with my
mother was in the past.
I could live with the uncertainty
because the woman I met...
...I didn't care
if she was my mother or not.
But then I found out she did this
extraordinary thing for me.
Is it wrong to think that changes things?
No, of course not. But...
[SIGHS]
...what I don't understand is
what you want from me.
Just someone to talk to, I guess.
Someone who'll understand.
You met her.
You know what I went through.
Is it worth it to try and reach out again?
I don't know, Chuck.
But I'm not sure I'm the one to ask.
Why? Because of Humphrey?
I'm not trying to work an angle here.
I'm coming to you as a friend.
No, you're not.
You're working right back into my life...
-...and you're using your mother to do it.
-Blair--
Sorry if I sound harsh, but we both know
we've never been good as friends.
There's always been an agenda.
Am I wrong?
No, you're not wrong.
Chuck, what are you doing here?
Thought I was coming to see a friend
for advice.
Apparently, I made a mistake.
What's going on?
You know how I got that
blood transfusion at the hospital?
It was Elizabeth.
Apparently, she is my mother,
but she's pulled a disappearing act.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it
to track her down.
And try and build a relationship.
Well, if you're asking me, I'd say do it.
I mean, I know it's scary...
...but when it comes to reconnecting
with family, it's worth the risk.
Thanks.
-I'm telling you, it's not true.
-Then why was it on Gossip Girl?
-I have no idea.
-Why should I believe that?
You already lied to me
about having a relationship with Diana.
You're right, and that was dumb
and I'm really sorry about that.
But there is nothing going on right now.
Why do you keep
nervously looking at the door?
Diana made it clear
she's determined to push me out.
And the last thing I need is a fight
with my girlfriend at the office.
Okay, well,
we can discuss it tonight then.
I can't tonight. I have to go to this party.
What? You don't even like
events like this.
The only reason you want to go
is because you think I'm lying to you.
This is a work event,
not a personal one, okay?
I'm sorry.
[CELL PHONE BEEPS]
[CELL PHONE RINGS]
Hey, is there anything
you want to tell me?
Let me guess. You saw on Gossip Girl
that Chuck came by.
-I can explain.
-No, you don't have to.
I already know about the dowry.
What are you talking about?
About how, uh, Chuck paid your dowry.
If that's why you didn't sign the divorce
papers, I just wish you would tell me.
No, I had no idea Chuck paid it.
None. I thought it was Georgina.
I gotta go.
-Where?
-To find him.
Him who? Chuck?
[CELL PHONE RINGS]
-Hello.
MAN [OVER PHONE]: This is John Rosen...
...Ivy Dickens' lawyer.
My client got a call from a bank officer...
...informing her that there was
a check waiting.
Yes, my, uh, wife unfroze the assets.
ROSEN:
That's what Ivy thought.
So she packed up,
left her keys and went to go get the check.
But when she got to the bank, they
had no idea what she was talking about.
I couldn't help but overhear
your little lover's spat.
I'm sorry Lola won't be coming tonight,
but it presents an opportunity.
What if you and I went together?
Well, I appreciate the olive branch,
but I think it sends the wrong message.
Lola's my girlfriend.
I don't want to hurt her.
It's just business. What's the risk?
-What's the point?
-It looks good to advertisers.
Us playing nice.
Let's use this night
to send a message to the town...
...that The Spectator is back
to being a well-oiled machine.
Hey.
So Nate swears there's nothing
going on with Diana...
...but he also refuses
to bring me as his date tonight.
I'm sorry.
Well, you just have two options then.
You either stay home and do nothing.
Or you come with me to the party
and you model.
Tell Tracy I'll be there.
With a date.
Diana better watch out. I'm ready.
GOSSIP GIRL: Everyone's been talking
about Manhattan's latest arrival...
...Lola Rhodes.
And word is that tonight...
...you're going to see
a whole lot more of her.
[CHARLOTTE GAINSBOURG'S "TERRIBLE
ANGELS" PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]
My head is pounding
My mouth is dry
My eyes are burning
Oh I can see you lowering
Pan de sal
Hey. They do not have parties
like this in Florida.
They barely have dental hygiene
in Florida.
Ooh, open bar. Be right back.
Hey, nice touch with the hot guy.
Oh, thanks.
So have you seen them yet?
[CHATTERING]
Okay. Don't tell me they're not on a date.
And she's even more beautiful in person.
That's annoying.
Don't worry.
As soon as she sees you model...
...she's not only gonna see you're a force
to be reckoned with and back off...
...but you and Nate will be
the hottest couple on the circuit.
You will surpass me as New York's
"It Girl" in no time.
Oh, no. No one can surpass you.
Especially not me.
You can. And you will.
Nothing would make me happier.
Let's go find Tracy
so we can start getting ready.
Actually, I think I'm gonna
introduce myself to Diana first.
Go for it. Good luck.
Hey, Nate. You remember Aidan?
What are you doing here?
Careful. You don't want to cause a scene.
This is a business party, after all.
Hi, I'm Lola Rhodes.
I don't think we've ever met.
-This is my date, Aidan Hill.
-Oh. It's a pleasure.
I'm surprised to see you.
Nate said you wouldn't make it.
-I was invited to model tonight.
-What? I didn't know that.
Why would you?
It's not like we were coming together, heh.
Maybe Diana and I should, uh, get a drink
while you two talk.
Actually, Nate and I need to go
and say hello to a few people.
Lola, maybe it's time for you to show
Aidan what you're modeling tonight.
Otherwise you might lose two men
to me in one day.
LILY:
I brought lattes to help us pack.
I heard from Ivy's lawyer.
She got a call saying
there was a cashier's check.
She moved out. It wasn't there.
Do you know anything about this?
Yes. I never called the lawyers.
But now that she's out, I need
to legally make sure she can't get back in.
And the call about the check?
It was a ruse
to get her out of the apartment.
Rufus, you're not going to get me
to feel any remorse.
Ivy lied about who she was.
She manipulated my mother
while she lay dying...
...and she stole our apartment.
Look, frankly I think she deserves
exactly what she's getting.
But you didn't just lie to her,
you lied to me.
But, Rufus, I'm sorry I kept it from you.
I knew you wouldn't be
comfortable with it.
I had to protect you from the truth.
This isn't what a marriage is.
We have to be honest with each other.
I know, but this was
an extreme situation.
I did what had to be done.
Maybe I'm seeing clearly
because of the view from Brooklyn.
I'm not okay with this.
Rufus, I know you're upset,
but how can you be so righteous?
We're talking about someone
that stole from us.
Ah, oh, my God.
Can we please just stop fighting?
-Can we just pack and go home?
-Yeah, I don't know, Lily.
Right now, this loft feels a lot more
like home than our apartment.
As you can see, Nate,
everyone's very excited I'm back.
No one more so than you, apparently.
Makes me wonder. It's a buyers' market
right now for newspapers.
If you wanted one,
you could have gone anywhere.
What are you getting at?
-I think you came back for me.
-Ha, ha.
-You're adorable.
-No, I'm serious.
I think you spent the last few months
in L.A. trying to convince yourself...
...that I was nothing,
just a fling with a younger guy.
But the fact is you couldn't get over me.
Really? Then explain this.
Come with me.
Where is my date going?
Exactly where we wanted him to.
-Blair, what are you doing here?
-Looking for you.
At first I wasn't sure
where I could find you...
...but then I realized,
look for the lingerie models.
So tell me, is it true?
Did you pay my dowry?
-Who told you that?
-Tell me if it's true.
-Why does it matter?
-Ugh.
I knew it.
You thought you could buy me back.
Like you thought...
...you could sell me for your hotel.
You got it all wrong.
That's why you showed up
with that ruse today about friendship.
You bought my divorce
and came to collect your prize.
Then why didn't I collect?
I swear I did not want you
to know about the dowry.
The only people that knew
were Nate and Andrew Tyler.
I just wanted you to be free.
Whom you choose to love
with that freedom is up to you.
I'm sorry, Blair.
I thought you knew.
Oh.
[DIANA MOANS]
-You're right, he's a good actor.
-I don't think he's acting all that much.
[DOOR OPENS]
Wait, you two are working together?
What's this,
some kind of revenge on Diana?
Yes, but let me explain it to you.
I-- I can't believe this.
You, whatever.
But, Lola, you totally used me.
Just go talk to her.
We got what we needed, all right.
GOSSIP GIRL: Uh-oh, Nate, looks like your
dirty movie just got an unhappy ending.
What the hell do you think you're doing?
Filming you and Aidan.
Oh, and he's 16, by the way.
Not sure how you're going to run
The Spectator from jail.
-And you recorded it?
-Yup.
You have not lost your touch, by the way.
So, what do you think?
The front page of The Spectator
or just let Gossip Girl run with it?
Go ahead, send the video
wherever you want.
If what's-his-name really is 16...
...you'll be in prison
right there next to me...
...for recording and distributing
child p*rn*graphy.
[SIGHS]
Go enjoy the show.
See you at work tomorrow.
So, uh, are you okay?
Yeah. I guess I'm just not used
to seeing Chuck do anything selfless.
Yeah, well, people can surprise us.
Even Chuck. I saw the divorce papers.
The seal was there
but they weren't signed.
I thought you must have known
that he paid the dowry.
No.
No, this has nothing to do with Chuck.
-Or the dowry.
-Well, then-- Then why?
[CHUCKLES]
My whole life, I wanted to be a princess.
And when I met Louis,
it was this whole whirlwind...
...of royalty and tiaras.
And it seemed like
my dream was coming true.
I mean, I may have married a prince,
but I never really got to be a princess.
I know it's silly, but...
...I think it was just one more loss
I needed to mourn before moving on.
When I first came to you, it was because
I needed advice. And I wanted yours.
And when you agreed
to come with me to the party?
I needed to make it look like I was in a fight
with Nate in front of Diana.
I know you really want
this "It Girl" title for me...
...and I'm so flattered
that you think I could ever live up to it.
To be honest with you Serena,
I don't care about that kind of thing.
And neither does Nate. So...
...I'm so sorry.
I hope we can still be friends.
Why would I want to be?
I put myself on the line for you
and then all you did was let me down.
Okay, ladies, time to get in position.
There's been a small change in the plans.
Yeah, Lola's not modeling.
-What?
-She can explain.
Uh, Serena, I need to talk to you.
Oh, I'm so sorry about Lola.
I know it's an inconvenience.
It's not that. After that photograph today
we thought we'd get more buzz...
...if we changed
"The Serena" to "The Lola."
I need you to model something else.
Seriously? Minutes ago
that would have been great news.
But now? You asked me to do this.
I have a model to take your place.
We'd love to see you in something else.
Sorry, but you can't. We can't have
Serena being the face of "The Lola."
Please, come with me.
GOSSIP GIRL:
Spotted.
Serena van der Woodsen blowing
off the Kiki fashion show.
Looks like this party
just went from "so hot" to "so not."
Hey.
I just want you to let you know
how sorry I am about last night.
I really appreciate everything
with the whole "It Girl" thing.
No, it's okay.
I shouldn't have pushed you to do it.
It's clearly not for you, heh.
Actually, it might be.
I got a call from an agent this morning.
She saw my photo on Gossip Girl
and wants set up a meeting with me.
What, um-- What does Nate
have to say about it?
I thought he didn't care about you
being an "It Girl."
Yeah, I know, he doesn't, but, um...
...he's supportive of my acting career.
So he's happy.
And anyway, it's how
you use your power that counts, right?
Sure, heh.
How do you plan to use yours?
Well, I was thinking that instead
of being an "It Girl" like you...
-...beautiful and unobtainable...
-Heh.
...maybe
I could be more of an "Every Girl."
You know, like someone
everyone can relate to.
I don't know. Maybe that's dumb.
Is that stupid?
No, no, no.
No, heh, I just think, you know...
...these things usually come and go
pretty quickly, so I just--
I wouldn't get used to it, you know.
But, um, there are some things
that I have to do.
Maybe I can call you later
and we can hang out?
Okay, yeah.
[SIGHS]
Can we talk?
Sure.
I don't think I realized just how upset
you were with me till last night.
Or how much you were willing
to fight for The Spectator.
I've been putting my heart and soul
into this paper.
-Of course I'm gonna fight for it.
-I'd like us to work together.
Well, I don't know how
to do that anymore.
Well...
...I could apologize, for starters.
For not being honest
from the very beginning...
...about being in business
with your grandfather.
It was a terrible thing to do to you.
Thank you.
Is that it?
I could apologize for last night,
but I thought that was a draw.
Heh, what about all the Gossip Girl
sources you released?
I didn't do that.
I thought you'd have found out by now.
After your grandfather intervened,
it was all over.
I thought it would be easier
for you to hate me.
And frankly, I think I wanted to punish
myself a little for what I did to you.
[CHUCKLES]
So about us working together,
what's that gonna look like?
The Spectator is yours.
I'm just here in a support capacity.
In the meantime, I have some business
I need to take care of.
That's gonna be my main focus.
And I've found another office downstairs.
Deal?
Deal.
There's one more thing
I should come clean about.
You were right about me
still having feelings for you.
I know you're with Lola now,
and I promise...
...I won't let my feelings get in the way
of your relationship or of our work.
Let me know if you need me.
Good to see you but you didn't
need to come all the way...
...to The Mark to meet me, Andrew.
You could have just e-mailed me.
That's why I came. I don't think
you should contact her, Chuck.
Look, I appreciate you looking out,
but I want a relationship with my mother.
That's the thing.
Elizabeth is not your mother.
I made contact. She swore it wasn't her
who donated the blood.
Said she was in a monastery in Tibet
at the time.
A monastery? She's lying.
She's good at that.
I looked into it. Her story checks out.
Keep looking.
Someone donated that blood.
I want to know who.
What is this about?
Look, the sun hasn't set.
I feel like a prom queen
doing the walk of shame.
You look like a princess. Now, I'm not
gonna lie. This is cubic zirconia...
...that I got from a costume shop.
But you'll sell it.
-Cubic zirconia does not touch this body.
-Ha, ha.
Put it on, Blair.
[SIGHS]
I have hit rock bottom.
What is going on?
I, uh, thought you should get to feel
like a princess one last time.
GIRL 1: OMG! It's Blair Waldorf!
GIRL 2: I can't believe this is happening.
GIRL 3: You look beautiful!
GIRL 4: She's a real-life princess.
Let's get a picture with her! Here.
-Yeah, absolutely.
GIRL 5: Okay, ready, guys?
Everybody smile. Smile bigger!
[GIRLS GIGGLING]
GIRL 1: Thank you.
GIRL 2: I love your crown!
GIRL 3: Oh, my God, you're amazing.
GIRL 4: Stunning.
-Amazing.
-Love you.
GIRL 5:
Bye! Thank you.
Thank you.
[CELL PHONE BEEPS]
GOSSIP GIRL: It turns out that Lola staged
that photo of herself in a fireman's jacket.
How desperate. Doesn't she realize
there can only be one "It Girl"...
...on the Upper East Side? And that
will always be Serena van der Woodsen.
Nate Archibald's office, please.
WOMAN [OVER PHONE]:
He's not available right now.
-Tell him it's Lola.
WOMAN: He's in with Diana.
He asked not to be disturbed.
MAN 1: Hey, Lola. Can we get a picture?
MAN 2: Look this way.
MAN 1:
Come on, Lola. Look this way. Great.
[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]
You must be happy to be home.
Um, very much, Vanya. Thank you.
I will go back down
and get Mr. Humphrey's bags.
Well, um, actually, this is it for now.
GOSSIP GIRL:
Sometimes we fight for something...
...only to discover
by the time we get it...
...our goals have changed.
[SIGHS]
For some, it's too late.
The lines have been drawn.
[CELL PHONE BEEPS]
And the damage has been done.
But other times,
you get the thing you always wanted...
...only to find out
it isn't what you really need.
Get ready, kids, I'm back,
and this time, I'm here to stay.
XOXO, Gossip Girl.