05x18 - Resident Evil

Episode transcripts for the TV show "The Vampire Diaries". Aired September 2009 - March 2017.*

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A high school girl is torn between two vampire brothers.
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05x18 - Resident Evil

Post by bunniefuu »

[A Café]

(Elena is writing in her diary. She rips a page but it flies away. She tries to get it and sees Stefan)

Stefan: Did you lose something?

Elena: Uh, yes. It's a particularly mortifying page from my journal

Stefan: Ah. You, uh, censor your journal? Pretty sure that's against journal rules

Elena: And I'm pretty sure that you're not the journal police. Trust me, it's really bad

Stefan: I'm officially intrigued

Elena: And I'm officially not kidding. Thank you.I'm Elena

Stefan: I’m Stefan

[Middle of the Road]

(Stefan is nearly ran over by a car)

[Whitmore College]

(Elena suddenly wakes up)

Caroline: You ok?

Elena: Yeah. I just… I just had a really crazy dream

[Salvatore’s House]

(Damon and Enzo are playing pool)

Enzo: So you broke up. That I get. Then you slept together. Not smart, but again, I get it. Now here's where it gets a bit hazy for me. You went to a parent-teacher conference?

Damon: Jeremy was having some trouble at school

Enzo: Right. Then the kicker. You offer to drive her back to campus, and she says she can't be around you. I mean, I'm just confused even thinking about it. Can't imagine how you feel

Damon: I'm fine. We're just taking some time apart

Enzo: Yeah, of course. A friends phase, where you, her friend, watch as she moves on with her life, finds a new boyfriend, perhaps a nice gentleman from a fraternity… Chance or Brock

Damon: Does your mysteriously missing girlfriend know how insufferable you are? Maybe that's why you haven't found her. She doesn't want to be found!

Enzo: I haven't found her because the Travelers, i.e. my only lead, decided to play a fun game of spontaneous combustion before giving me what they promised

Damon: Right. Now you're here annoying me

Enzo: We could always go k*ll people, but I suppose that's what got you into this problem in the first place

[Mystic Grill]

(Caroline and Elena arrive)

Caroline: Well, I guess my mom's not here yet. I'm gonna get us some coffees

Elena: Sure

Vision

[A House]

(Elena and Stefan arrive)

Stefan: Here you go

Elena: I'm gonna need these. I'm so clumsy

Stefan: So, uh, you hated the movie, huh?

Elena: No. I didn't hate it. I just wasn't exactly paying attention either. So do you want to dinner some…

Stefan: We should, uh, do this again sometime. Yeah

Elena: Sure

Stefan: Good

Elena: Sorry. That's my dad, waiting up for me. It's so embarrassing

Stefan: I'm really looking forward to dinner

Elena: Me, too

Stefan: Good night

Back to reality

[Mystic Grill]

Caroline: My mom's 5 minutes away.Elena?Hello? Elena!

Elena: How did I get here?I was just standing at the doorway

Caroline: Uh, you walked.Hang on. Did you just have one of those dreams like, right here?

Elena: It didn't feel like a dream, ok? It felt like it was real, like I was just there

Caroline: That's weird

Elena: Caroline, if you bite your tongue any harder, you'll bleed. Say it

Caroline: It's Psych 101. Actually, it's whatever comes before 101. You told Damon that you couldn't see him anymore, and now you're having dreams about Stefan?

Elena: It's not just about Stefan, ok? My parents were still alive. It was like a different life

(Caroline’s phone rings. She answers)

Caroline: Stefan, hey

Stefan: Hey

Caroline: Is everything ok?

Stefan: Well, you know how sometimes you feel crazy and you call me and I tell you that you're not crazy?

Caroline: Even though most of the time I am

Stefan: Well, I need you to tell me that I'm not crazy

Caroline: Uh, no promises

Stefan: I was walking to my car, and I nearly got plowed over in the middle of the street because I was having some vision of Elena

Caroline: I take that back. Actually, you're not crazy at all. Something's going on

[Whitmore College]

(Bonnie is walking on campus and is on the phone)

Jeremy: Hey. It's Jeremy. Leave a message

Bonnie: Hey, Jeremy. It's me Bonnie Bennett, your girlfriend, just in case you need reminding, which I'm happy to keep doing until you call me back. So call me

(She hangs up and then sees her grams)

Bonnie: Hey, grams

Sheila: I heard the Travelers did a number on you last night

Bonnie: Did you read that in the other side newsletter? Grams, you don't look right

Sheila: Something's wrong over here, Bonnie. Some of the witches think that the Travelers tried to overwhelm you so that someone could get through

Bonnie: As in come back?

Sheila: Whoever it is, he's hiding from us, and now this place is…

Bonnie: That wasn't creepy. What's going on over here?

Sheila: I don't know, but whatever the Travelers did and whoever managed to get through, it's got the witches scared

[Lockwood Mansion]

(Liv is with Matt, Tyler and Jeremy)

Liv: The Travelers are here, and our goal is to get rid of them, but before I put my faith in the 3 Stooges, I need to make sure that none of you are harboring a passenger

Matt: So you want us to s*ab ourselves?

Liv: This Kn*fe is the only thing that will get rid of them

Matt: Again, you want us to s*ab ourselves?

Jeremy: Just do it so we can get on with this

Matt: Says the hunter with the Traveler-proof head

Tyler: I'll do it

Matt: And the hybrid, who heals

Tyler: Dude, you have a magic ring that brings you back from the dead. Quit bitching

Liv: Shoulder. Shouldn't hurt too much. Not too deep. I can help if you... So much testosterone, so few brain cells

Jeremy: Ok. So we're all in the clear. Want to tell us exactly what we're doing here?

Liv: Easy. You just have to do that about a hundred more times, only to other people. Look. The truth is that my coven has been tracking the Travelers for thousands of years. They're always on the move, but there have been a few times in history when they have stopped to gather. Freaky part is that no one's ever noticed because one by one they've taken over towns by putting passengers inside the townsfolk. We think they're doing the same thing in Mystic Falls

[Salvatore’s House]

(Enzo and Damon are still playing pool)

Enzo: Care to lose again, or shall we move on to step two of Elenaless Damon?

Damon: You know, bringing up her name defeats the purpose of me trying to forget about her

Enzo: Bring up whose name? Elena

Damon: Whatever

(His phone rings)

Damon: Speak of the devil

[Mystic Grill]

(Elena hangs up. Caroline sees Matt and goes talk to him)

Caroline: Hey. Have you heard from my mom?

Matt: No. Why?

Caroline: Well, she was supposed to meet me here, and now she's not texting me back. If you see her, will you just let her know that something came up?

Matt: Yeah, of course

Caroline: Ok. Thanks

[Salvatore’s House]

(Damon ignores the call)

Damon: Damon one, temptation zero

(Enzo’s phone rings)

Enzo: Temptation one, Enzo…

(He answers)

Enzo: Hello, gorgeous

Caroline: Can you tell Damon that there's something going on with Elena and Stefan?

Damon: What?

Caroline: Well, you know how we all laughed off the notion that the universe is drawing Stefan and Elena together?

Damon: Yeah

Caroline: Well, that's happening

Damon: What's happening?

Caroline: Now that Stefan's doppelhim…

Damon: Tom?

Caroline: Tom, yes.Now that Tom is dead, Stefan and Elena are the last pair of doppelgangers, which might explain why Stefan and Elena are suddenly having vision-type situations of each other

Damon: Wait. What kind of visions?

Enzo: You know what she's not telling you. Somebody's having sex dreams

Elena: They're not sex dreams!

Caroline: Yeah. They're more like romance dreams

Damon: I don't need to know that. Where's Stefan?

Caroline: He went to the Traveler camp to see if anyone's still there that can tell him what's going on

Enzo: Yeah, good luck with that

Caroline: Well, it's our only lead. Look. All we know is that Tom is dead, the Travelers just committed a mass su1c1de, and now Stefan and Elena, who are clearly not together anymore, are having intense visions of each other

Damon: Find a witch, get her over here. Let's figure out what the hell's going on

[Lockwood’s Mansion]

(Someone knocks on the door. Jeremy opens the door. It’s Bonnie)

Jeremy: Bonnie

Bonnie: Surprise. Actually not really. I left you a voicemail, and I texted

Jeremy: Yeah, I know, I know. Sorry. I, um… I've just been busy moving and stuff

Bonnie: Right. All your stuff. Anyway, I need your help. I think something's going on on the other side

Jeremy: What do you mean?

Bonnie: My grams says the witches are worried someone got out,and I thought since you could see ghosts…

(Liv enters)

Liv: Jeremy, come on. Back to work

Bonnie: Liv's here? Are you kidding me?

Liv: It's not what it looks like. Jeremy hired me to help him with math

Bonnie: Right. Was that before or after you lied to my face and tried to k*ll his sister? Tell me what's going on

Jeremy: I can't. I'm sorry. We have this handled. I just… I need you to trust me, ok?

(Bonnie leaves)

Jeremy: I told you I didn't want to keep any secrets

Liv: Nothing personal, Jer, but sneaking up on the Travelers requires them not to know that we're doing it. I already broke my rule once for Matt and Tyler. I'm not doing it again

(Tyler rejoins them. He’s on the phone)

Tyler: Where are you now?

[Sherif’s Department]

(Matt is there)

Matt: Checking on the sheriff, but she's not here.I know it's probably nothing, but if I were gonna take over a town…

Tyler: You'd start at the top. Don't do anything stupid before I get there

Matt: I can't do anything until you bring the Traveler Kn*fe, so hurry up

(Liz enters)

Liz: Traveler Kn*fe?

Matt: Sheriff, hey

Liz: Who you talking to?

Matt: Uh, Caroline. She said you missed lunch, so I told her I'd check up on you

Liz: You mentioned a Traveler Kn*fe

Matt: Did I? Maybe you misheard

Liz: I didn't

[A Street]

(Bonnie is walking and sees Matt)

Bonnie: Matt? What are you doing here?

Matt: I'm dead, Bon,but the sheriff's in trouble

Bonnie: What?

Matt: Just tell Jeremy. He'll know what I mean. I'm sorry to do this to you, Bon

[The Other Side]

(Matt wakes up and sees a man)

Matt: Can you see me? Are you a witch? Then how?

(Kol is there too)

Kol: It's all topsy-turvy over here, darling, but I've got to say it's good to be seen. Don't tell me you don't remember me. Kol, original vampire, m*rder*d pointlessly by Jeremy Gilbert

Matt: Yeah, I know who you are. I thought the whole point of this place was to live out your afterlife in solitude. Why can I see you?

Kol: Well, apparently there's trouble in paradise. The rumblings from the witches is that somebody tore his way out of here,and now this whole place is unraveling. Not that that matters to you. You're just on holiday, which means you're going back

Matt: Vicki

Kol: Never heard of her

Matt: She's my sister. She's over here. If I can see you, then that means I can see her

[Salvatore’s House]

(Enzo opens the door to Caroline and Elena)

Enzo: I thought you were bringing a witch

Caroline: We said we'd call her. We didn't say we'd pick her up

Elena: So where's, uh… where's Damon?

(Damon enters)

Damon: Hi

Elena: Hi

Enzo: So who could use a drink from the library?

Caroline: Yes, please

(They leave)

Elena: Well, at least they're not being obvious. You got a pool table

Damon: Yeah. I figured pool was a good outlet to put this pent-up energy that I seem to now have

Elena: Yeah. I went running today, 10 miles. Could have gone 20

Damon: Yeah

(Caroline and Enzo are in the library)

Caroline: Oh. This is so bad. They're fishing for small talk. We should do something

Enzo: Or we could stay and let them amuse us as they resist the desire to tear each other's clothes off

Damon: Drink?

Elena: Probably not a good idea. Inhibitions and all

Damon: Well, wouldn't want that

Elena: Can we not do this?

Damon: We're not doing anything. I think that's part of the problem. We're just standing clothed, just standing, doing nothing

Elena: I mean, the whole strained, awkward, don't know how to act part. Can't we just be friends and do friendly things?

Enzo: Ouch! She used the f-word. Poor bastard

Caroline: But I thought that's what this was

Enzo: Oh, it is, but it was never explicitly stated until now

Caroline: And that matters because?

Enzo: Well, because until it's officially out there, there's still hope, and hope… hope can trick you into all sorts of hilariously unrealistic scenarios

Caroline: You mean Maggie? So what happened?

Enzo: Well, the Travelers forgot to tell me where Maggie was before they lit themselves on fire. Talk about a lead going up in smoke

Caroline: Yeah, but… and no offense… but even if she still was alive, wouldn't she be, like, really old?

Enzo: 70 years of captivity, and she was the face that I clung on to… the notion that one day I'd get out and see her again. I don't want to date her, Caroline. I want to thank her

Damon: So having sex dreams about my brother

Elena: Wow! Ok. Yeah, that's definitely one way to change the subject

Damon: Well, I just thought I'd skip the uncomfortable parts

Elena: Yeah. Look. I don't know what the visions mean, Damon. It's just random snippets of Stefan and me living in some alternate reality

Damon: I'm gonna regret this, but... By any chance are fantasy Elena and fantasy Stefan really, really, really happy?

Elena: Um...

Damon: Right. Well, as your friend, let me state the obvious that the prophecy says that you two are fated to be together. You're supposed to be together

(Someone knocks on the door. Damon opens it. It’s Luke)

Damon: We're all good on bibles, thanks

Luke: I'm Luke Parker, Liv's twin brother

Damon: Liv has a twin? Is it possible for there just to be one of someone around here?

Elena: Where's Liv?

Luke: Busy

Damon: Come on in

[Sheriff’s Department]

(Liz comes out. Tyler rejoins her)

Tyler: Hey, Sheriff

Liz: Hey, Tyler. Staying out of trouble?

Tyler: Yeah. You know me

Liz: I certainly do, and hybrids are not above the law, so do me a favor. Keep the day drinking at the grill on the D.L., please. It's bad for business

Tyler: Right. Will do

Liz: Anyway, I'm running late

Tyler: My mom says hi

Liz: Send her my best, ok?

Tyler: You're ok. You're safe now

[Salvatore’s House]

(Everyone is gathered in the living room)

Damon: What do you mean you can't stop their visions?

Luke: Our magic doesn't work like that. We're not bigger than the universe

Damon: Then why are you are in my house?

Luke: Because we need your help. We think the Travelers are about to make their move. Their leader Markos is here

Damon: From where? Chant camp?

Luke: The other side. He's been dead for centuries, and we think the fire sacrifice allowed him to escape

Elena: Perfect. A dead old guy with a mysterious, evil plan. I'll take that drink now

Caroline: Stefan just called. He said the scrap yard's been completely cleared out

Damon: And let me guess… the witches don't know where Markos is

Luke: You guys said the visions are trying to draw Elena and Stefan together for something

Elena: For our doppelganger blood. The Travelers need it for some prophecy

Luke: And if the Travelers are the ones who need your blood, doesn't it make sense that you're not only being drawn together but also...

Elena: Being drawn to them

Damon: Well, this just keeps getting better and better

Caroline: Wait. I don't get it

Enzo: If the visions are a road map, then we need more clues. Break out the popcorn, blondie. Elena's little sex romp isn't over yet

(Damon is outside. Elena rejoins him)

Elena: What are you doing out here?

Damon: Aw, you know, looking at the stars, listening to the universe laugh at me

Elena: Damon…

Damon: We were doomed from the beginning, Elena. We were always gonna end up here

Elena: Damon, they're just visions. As soon as we find Markos, they'll stop

Damon: And then what? We're friends? Can't wait

Elena: Look. I know we're in a little bit of a weird place right now. Hey. Look at me. The universe doesn't control anything. It's not real

Vision
[A House]

(Elena rejoins Stefan)

Elena: You're really trying to pull off this chef thing

Stefan: Yeah. Well, it's our anniversary, so, uh, no holding back

Elena: Well, if it turns out anything like your last 22 attempts, wine

Stefan: Mmm. Perfect

Elena: I always forget. Where do we put the opener?

Stefan: Oh. No, no, no. Not that drawer, not that one

Elena: Yes

Stefan: You didn't even open it

Elena: I don't have to

Stefan: I love you

Elena: I love you, too

Back to reality

[Salvatore’s House]

Damon: Elena

Elena: Did I just…?

Damon: Yep

Enzo: That good, eh?

Elena: He's here. I know where Markos is. 4620 Walnut Drive

[The Other Side]

Matt: Vicki! Vick! How am I back here?

Vicki: Matt!

Matt: Vick?

Vicki: Matty, I'm here

Matt: I'm here now. It's ok

Vicki: No. Listen to me. It's not ok. Something's wrong.Look at this place. Matty, you need to get to your body and go back

Matt: I'm not leaving you again. We're getting out of here. Take my hand. Let’s go. Take my hand!Vicki! Vicki!Vicki! Vicki! I won't let you go!

Vicki: Matt, I love you... But I'm already dead

Matt: Noooo! Vicki! Vicki! Vick!

[A House]

(Damon and Enzo arrive and enter)

Damon: Huh. Clear

Enzo: I wonder if this is where Stefan and Elena had crazy vision sex. Eh, it's probably the bedroom. Stefan's pretty vanilla, but apparently that's Elena's favorite flavor

Damon: I'm gonna staple your tongue to your chin

Man: Not in my house, please

Damon: Markos I take it. Well, I'm not Stefan, and this is not Elena

Markos: Why are you here?

Damon: I was about to ask you the same question. Plus, what do you want, and why are the doppelgangers having visions of each other?

Markos: First two are complicated. Last one's easy. I'm the reason Stefan and Elena are having visions of each other

Damon: You?

Enzo: Well, would you look at that. I think we just met the universe

Damon: You mind telling me what the hell is going on?

Markos: Well, I'm afraid the doppelganger lore's been misinterpreted over the ages

Damon: As in there is no prophecy?

Markos: The prophecy is that the doppelganger blood can help the Travelers, but they're being drawn together because of a spell I cast 1,500 years ago. I had no idea where they were, and it turns out the best way to get people to go searching for each other is the promise of true love. Is it stuffy in here?Why don't we take a walk? You stay here

Enzo: Not bloody likely

Markos: You want to find Maggie? You stay here.Shall we?

[A Street]

(Damon and Markos are walking)

Markos: Mystic Falls is a beautiful town

Damon: Oh, yeah.Picket fences, block parties, uncannily high death rate

Markos: You take your homes for granted

Damon: I'm sorry. Are we walking so I don't fall asleep?

Markos: 2,000 years ago, Silas and Qetsiyah cast a spell for immortality.It created a schism in the Traveler community, giving rise to the witches. They tried to keep us scattered to make us forget how powerful we can be

Damon: And thus began the w*r between the Travelers and the Witches, and it's still rages on and on. Sorry. I just nodded off

Markos: The witches put a curse on us that kept us from settling down as a tribe. Whenever we've tried to gather, disaster struck… plagues, earthquakes, fire. Something inevitably wiped us out

Damon: Let me guess… the doppelgangers can fix this. So you found them. Now what?

Markos: We simply need their blood, but we're not your enemy, Damon, and to prove that to you, I'm gonna stop their visions. The curse might prevent us from gathering in our own bodies, but we've found ways around that

Damon: Passengers. So how many of you are there?

Markos: A few... Here and there.Shall I continue?

Vision

[A House]

(Elena is in the kitchen, listening to the radio)

Radio: ...Winds that cool. Low temperatures expected

(Stefan enters)

Stefan: Hey. So I, um… I got your aunt Jenna a wine of the month thing. Think she'll like that?

Elena: The only thing I think she would have liked more would have been a wine of the day thing

Stefan: Thank you

Elena: Oh. I talked to Jeremy, and he's bringing a girl home this year

Stefan: Ooh. So is Damon

Elena: Hmm. I'm sure they'll both be lovely

Stefan: Liar. Hey, guys, share, please

Elena: Do you know that she bit him this morning?

Stefan: Really? Nice

Elena: Stefan, don't encourage that

Stefan: What? Everybody loves a biter

Elena: Oh, yeah? I'll bite you

Stefan: Good. I'll bite you right back

Back to Reality

[A Street]

(Markos and the travelers stop)

Markos: It's done

[Salvatore’s House]

(Elena is in the living room. Stefan is here too)

Stefan: Elena

Elena: Did you feel that, too?

Stefan: And then it just ended

Elena: Does that mean that it's over?

Stefan: Yeah. It's over

Elena: They weren't real

Stefan: It was a spell, showing us what we wanted to see

Elena: We weren't vampires,my parents were still alive. It was a fantasy, like a movie. It was the life that we never could have had

Stefan: But it still felt…

Elena: Amazing?

Stefan: Yeah. But, you know, the life that we had, I mean, that was amazing, too, and it wasn't a spell or a prophecy. It was real. We fell in love on our own. We had ups and downs, we fought

Elena: I d*ed

Stefan: Yeah. We changed, both of us. We grew, and we grew apart, but that is real. I mean, that's life

Elena: You couldn't cook

Stefan: And you could. Again, a fantasy. I'll always love you, Elena

Elena: I will always love you, too. Do you think Damon and I will ever be able to talk like this, like friends?

Stefan: I think you can either be friends with someone or in love with them. I don't think you can be both

[The Other Side]

(Kol rejoins Matt)

Kol: All right, then.Mourning time over. Chip-chop. Not to be insensitive, but she was already dead. Little bit of a grief overkill, don't you think?

Matt: Where'd she go? Did she move on?Did she find peace? Because it certainly didn't look like that

Kol: I don't know where she went, and honestly, I would love to never find out, which is why I need you back in your body, shouting from the rooftops about what happened here

Matt: It doesn't matter. When I go back, I'm not gonna remember any of this

Kol: Well, you better find a way to remember it. Look. You might not like me, but I'm not the only one over here, and if this place goes down, then what happened to your sister is going to happen to us all. Please, mate, you have to go back. You have to find out how to stop this

[Sheriff’s Department]

(Bonnie and Jeremy are waiting for Matt to wake up)

Bonnie: What?

Jeremy: I just realized you're the only person in this office the sheriff hasn't k*lled

Bonnie: You're making jokes now

Jeremy: Bonnie, look. I'm sorry for everything. This whole thing with Liv, it had nothing to do with her. I was just trying to protect you

Bonnie: Ok. Here's what's not ok. Do what you want to protect me, but don't fall off the face of the earth, especially with someone who was caught lying to me and who tried to k*ll Elena. Don't put me in a position where I have to question you because I…

Jeremy: I know. Because of Anna. Look. I know I messed up

Bonnie: Listen. I was gonna say because I choose to trust you, and I want to be right

(Matt wakes up)

Bonnie: Matt, are you ok, are you ok?

Jeremy: You d*ed and came back from the other side

Matt: I know. I remember

Bonnie: You remember? That doesn't happen

Matt: One second, I was holding Vick…

Jeremy: Wait. You saw Vicki?

Matt: She pushed me away, and then… and then she just disappeared. What's going on over the, Bon?

Bonnie: I don't know

[Salvatore’s House]

(Damon rejoins Elena)

Damon: I think we need some rules here because if I'm not allowed to drive you home, then I definitely don't think you're allowed to ambush me in my bedroom

Elena: I just… I just wanted to say thank you. Whatever you did, it worked

Damon: Well, I'm sorry to tear you away from paradise

Elena: It was paradise actually

Damon: I told you I don't want to know

Elena: But you need to know. I saw a perfect life. Stefan and I were married, and we had kids. It was everything that we wanted

Damon: Well, we can always ask Markos to put it back

Elena: But it's not real. You and I, we're messy and complicated, but we’re real

Damon: And really bad for each other. Did you forget that part?

Elena: Yeah, but I still need you in my life

Damon: As friends, right? Right. No, Elena. I can't be your friend. It's too damn hard

Elena: Damon…

Damon: No. I'm serious, Elena. I can't see you anymore. I don't want to hear your voice, I don't want to talk to you, I don't even want to look at you, and I sure as hell don't want to be your friend

Elena: If that's what you want

Damon: That's what I want

[Caroline’s House]

(Caroline is with her mom and on the phone)

Caroline: Yeah. Ok. I gave her my blood.So what do I do? She's still unconscious

Tyler: For starters, relax. Matt said he was out for a while when this happened to him

Caroline: What are they doing here? This is our home. We can't let them take over

Tyler: They won't. I got it handled, I promise

Caroline: Thanks, Tyler

Tyler: You're welcome

Caroline: I got to go. She's waking up

(She hangs up. Liz wakes up)

Caroline: Hey

Liz: What happened?

Caroline: You missed lunch

[A House]

(Tyler rejoins Markos)

Tyler: We're in. She's oblivious

Markos: It's not a bad upgrade either

Tyler: This body is incredible

Markos: Don't get used to it.Once this is over and the town is ours...

Tyler: I know. It's gone

Markos: Did you bring it?

Tyler: This is the only Kn*fe left

Markos: It was the only Kn*fe left
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