08x14 - It's Been a Hell of a Ride

Previously on The Vampire Diaries...

No.

[Groaning]: Ow.

Don't hurt Mommy. Incendium!

No, no, no.

Shh.

You could really hurt somebody.

I don't know what's going on. I can't control it.

Bonnie: I gave him the cure. He's human now.

Are you gonna teach me how to contact Enzo?

I'm going to give you an understanding of what you've become.

I want you to remember the moment of Enzo's death.

[Screaming]

When Enzo died, you screamed.

A powerful psychic blast created an entire world, like what I did.

Enzo, I thought I'd never see you again.

You have to get away from Cade.

Caroline: Why don't you give yourself a chance to discover who you are now?

Because I think that means leaving Mystic Falls... alone.

If you want my forgiveness, you're gonna bring Elena Gilbert back to life.

I need to siphon more power first.

[Groans]

I've been in hell long enough to know that there is no such thing as redemption.

Invisique.

No.

Well, this is creepy.

Cade: You shouldn't talk to yourself and expect an answer.

That way lies madness.

Oh, speak of the devil.

The devil.

What the hell is going on?

Your body is spent.

Right now, you're in the space between spaces.

On death's literal doorstep.

Call it limbo, if you must.

No, that makes sense.

Kai siphoned me like a juice box.

Why are you here?

I want the ashen dagger.

The one weapon that can kill me.

Well, you're out of luck, because I don't have it.

And last time I checked, I wasn't your errand boy anymore.

What happens if I refuse to play fetch?

In layman terms?

I drag your soul to hell.

Go for it.

I'd rather burn than serve you for another second.

I believe I have something that will change your mind.

Bonnie.

There's nothing you can say.

I understand.

But I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I didn't try.

That's a shame.

A good human skill is knowing when to shut up.

I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry.

You killed Enzo, Stefan.

You. Killed. Enzo.

And I will spend the rest of my human life living with that guilt.

Looking for ways to make up for my actions.

I'm leaving town.

And I know it may not mean much to you, but I'll be doing everything I can to atone.

Mmm, okay.

Safe travels.

A bit harsh, love?

I didn't know you were here.

Well, when you're in this state it seems to be quite easy.

He's earned it.

I hate him.

Damon: Careful, brother.

I can hear you popping a hernia over here.

Need a hand?

Nope. I'll manage.

I didn't know you were planning a trip.

Look, you're not gonna talk me out of leaving town, so you might as well just save your breath.

Cade has Elena, Stefan.

What?

How?

Long story.

Cliff Notes: I had a nasty run-in with our old friend Kai Parker.

It didn't end well.

What are you talking about?

Kai's dead.

Ish. He's alive enough to screw me over, and kidnap Elena's coffin.

Then he turned her over to Cade.

Apparently.

But Kai being Kai, he tried to cheat the devil.

Kept an ace up his sleeve, and now Cade wants that, too.

In exchange for Elena.

Putting aside the fact that you were gonna blow out of town without having an epic bro moment, I hope wherever you're going can wait.

Because I-I need your help, brother.

Lizzie: I love this dress.

[Laughing]

We look so pretty.

How did you...?

These could've fallen on you.

What have I been telling you?

You have to be careful.

And these dresses are not play clothes.

We're practicing.

For the wedding.

Look, I know you girls are excited about the wedding, and wearing these dresses, and all of it, but it might not be as soon as Mommy promised.

Why?

Well... people who love each other don't always get married.

It doesn't mean they don't love each other.

It just... doesn't always work out that way.

[Whimpers]

Oh, honey.

Oh, please don't be upset.

[Explosion]

Girls, please!

Ooh, Lizzie's in trouble, just like at school.

This happened at school?

[Sighs]

♪ Mama, wipe the blood ♪
♪ Off my face ♪
♪ 'Cause I can't see through it ♪
♪ Anymore ♪
♪ I need someone to talk to ♪
♪ And a new hiding place ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
♪ I feel like I'm knockin' ♪
♪ On heaven's door ♪

Sing it with me now.

♪ Knock, knock, knockin' ♪
♪ On heaven's door ♪
♪ Yeah ♪ Sing it with me.

♪ Knock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door ♪
♪ Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh ♪
♪ Knock, knock, knockin' ♪
♪ On heaven's door. ♪

Anyway, you get the idea.

Crushed it, literal mic drop.

[Mic feedback whines]

Well, well, well.

Stefan Salvatore.

Hey, how'd you find me? Locator spell?

Yelp, actually.

CobraKai1972 wrote:

"Grunge music selection weak. Drinks even weaker," then 30 minutes later: "Drinks getting better. Love this place. Microphone emoji. Fireball emoji."

Yeah, what can I say?

I'm a sucker for second chances these days.

Ever since Cade gave me a new lease on life in exchange for your box o' ex-girlfriend.

Which... I assume that's why you're here.

Actually, I'm here for what you didn't give Cade.

Yeah, I guess that's what I get for trying to put one over on a sidekick, huh?

But listen, I'm sorry, Steven, but that dagger's my insurance policy, in case Cade ever tries to send me back to that hot spot.

You want an insurance policy? How about this?

You give me the dagger, and I'll kill him.

Cade's the devil.

I looked into his eyes when I was handing over Elena, and I decided that it's not worth the risk.

Why would I trust you?

Because you're afraid of him.

And I'm not.

Yeah, but that's not the only difference between us, is it?

For example, me, I'm this all-powerful heretic, right?

And you...

Well, you're just a puny vampire.

Um...

You can't siphon me.

I'm human.

Are you serious? That is insane.

That's like... like, major life change.

Wow. Okay, um...

I tell you what...

I tell you what, I changed my mind.

You can have the dagger.

[Groans]

For the record, killing Cade's not the only thing this dagger's capable of.

Because when you kill the devil, hell goes along with him.

Speaking of which, any last words before I send you there myself?

[Groaning]: Damon...

Damon.

Aw, that is so sweet.

I'll be sure to tell your brother that you were thinking of him when you died.

[Grunts] Ah.

What took you so long?

Damon: Sorry.

I went to put in a song.

When were you gonna tell me that the girls were asked to leave their preschool?

When I figured out how to stop it, and could find them another school to go to.

There's just nowhere for them to go.

But you lied to me.

You said that the magic and the siphoning was new.

And I am sorry.

But I'm not the only one keeping secrets here.

I mean, what's up with the flower girl dresses in the box here, anyway?

[Sighs] Stefan and I... are having some issues.

I don't know what's gonna happen, so I didn't want to be surrounded by all my wedding stuff.

I'm really sorry to hear that.

Why don't we just call someone?

I mean, we're not equipped to handle this.

Who are we gonna call?

They're not triggered by some magical development, or coven secret or anything you're gonna find in your books.

It's probably just... us.

What do you mean?

Think of what we've put them through.

Splitting up, moving around, everything that happened with Seline.

The way they came into this world, even.

They're sensitive children.

So we're bad parents?

No.

But we could do better.

If we just start trying...

[Door opens]

Sorry.

This place had the nearest holding cell.

Little help?

So you just opted to help me with this homicidal lunatic instead of spending a moment with your fiancé.

Care to elaborate?

Given what you just dragged in, I think you should be the one explaining.

Sorry, Blondie. Probably safer if you don't get involved.

Great.

Another Salvatore brother freezing me out.

[Sighs] Stefan told me that he needed to go on some spirit walk to God knows where, figure out if he wants to be with me.

Well, in his... tiny human brain, I'm sure he thinks he's protecting you.

He doesn't believe he's worthy of someone like you, Caroline.

You felt that way about Elena.

I need Stefan just as much as she needed you.

And Lizzie and Josie need him, too.

[Groans]

Enough about Stefan already.

What you guys need is someone who can explain to you what's going on with your Gemini coven twins.

Huh. I feel like there's someone around here who could help you with that, but I just can't quite put my finger on it.

Is it...

[Kai imitating insect buzzing]

Uh.

There he is.

[Whispering]: This guy.

What are you thinking bringing him here?

We didn't know what to do with him.

I don't even know if he can be killed.

Or whatever it is you do to a person who's already dead.

All I know is that we have a way to eliminate Cade, and right now that's the priority.

No, that's your priority.

Kai is quite literally my worst enemy.

And as soon as you hear from me or Damon, you can do whatever you want with him.

Look, if anyone deserves to send him back to hell, it's you.

But first I need your help.

Why me?

Because your name's not Maxwell or Donovan.

Are you happy?

Right now?

Yes.

Perfectly.

Then why not forgive Stefan?

Do you really have to ask?

Stefan did horrible things, sure.

He was a servant of the devil.

But I served Cade, too.

I took so many lives.

Even before that, death followed me around wherever I went.

When my humanity was off, I was willing to let you die.

Your point?

You continue to love me, to hold me here.

So I know you have the capacity to forgive.

I-I just need time.

Yeah, of course.

But take it from me, if you hold on to hating him, it will eat at you.

Why the hell does Cade want to meet here?

Beats me. He doesn't wear the cape or carry the pitchfork, so maybe that's just his way of being dramatic.

Things have a way of getting bloody with Cade.

We may not have another chance, so... do you want to tell me why you were planning on leaving town?

Nope. I don't.

Well, then it's a good thing Caroline did.

[Sighs] Look, me leaving Mystic Falls is the best thing for her.

I don't think she agrees, bro.

I can't atone for my mistakes if I keep making them.

I love her.

I don't want to drag her down with me.

Well, if that's the way you see it, what are you doing out here with me?

I've always been the albatross around your neck.

You're my brother.

But let's be clear, this is about more than just you and me.

I am the one that compelled Matt Donovan to ring that bell.

Cade is free because of me.

And that's why I have to kill him.

That wasn't the plan, man.

Yeah, well, it is now.

Kai said that killing Cade will destroy hell, too.

Yeah, I know, I was there. I was eavesdropping.

You actually believe him?

What I believe is that I have to give it a shot, Damon.

With or without you.

Are you forgetting that you are human?

Kai almost gutted you, and I was standing right there.

What do you think Cade's gonna do?

I know it's a long shot...

It's suicide, Stefan!

And if you screw this up... we don't know what he'll do to Elena.

I'm sorry, Damon.

I have to do this.

Yeah, I'm sorry, too.

But I can't let anything happen to her...

...or you.

[Groans]

I thought you might feel that way.

[Exhales, sniffs]

Do we have to go to sleep now?

It has been a long and exciting day, and you two girls should have no problems falling asleep.

Sorry about the dresses.

Yeah, sorry, Mommy.

It's okay.

But no more of that.

Okay? Do you think you girls can cut that stuff out?

Just try your best.

Okay?

[Imitating Hannibal Lecter]: Hello, Clarice.

[Sighs]

[Snorts]

You killed your sister Jo, you tried to kill her kids, too, so why would you be interested in helping?

[Sighs] Well, the same thing happened to me when I was around their age.

You start being able to do these things, amazing things, and at first it's accidental and random, and then you start to figure it out, which... which sounds cool, but it's, um... it's torture.

It's lonely.

Wasn't the same thing happening to Jo?

Jo wasn't a siphon.

Jo was a Glinda.

A perfect little witch who would do spells and make things float, and people would clap.

Oh, Josie! Yes!

And I was the kid walking around like an addict, fiending for a hit like I was on fire all the time.

And they didn't understand it.

So they isolated me.

Couldn't even touch anyone.

[Sighs]

That screwed me up big-time.

How do we fix them?

Well, I chose to become a sociopath with a penchant for murder and mayhem.

But I take it you might want to steer them in a different direction?

Uh, yeah.

[Chuckles]

[Whispering]: Look around.

We are in the hotbed of supernatural energy, with the artifacts and books and talismans and the God knows what else.

I mean, witches literally eat that up.

They siphon it without trying.

So the girls' magic is going haywire because we brought them to the Armory?

Ding!

Worst possible place to bring a siphon.

[Laughing]: Like, easily, the worst.

I mean, there's... there's practically... magic in the walls.

See?

[High-pitched sound whines]

[Groans]

Okay, it's, uh, it's not practically in the walls.

[Gasps]

The magic's actually in the walls.

[High-pitched whine continues]

[Grunts]

[Alarm blaring]

[Exhales sharply]

[Echoing]: Cade?

Cade!

♪ ♪

I can see why you both love her.

She's a beautiful soul.

Made dimmer, perhaps, by her association with the two of you.

I have to admit, you're not the Salvatore I was expecting.

Well, I'm the one you get.

Does that mean you brought me the dagger?

Ah.

You intend to kill me.

How optimistic.

Is that the form you think your atonement will take?

Stefan, you're human.

I'm almost worried you'll catch pneumonia and die in this very cave.

What are the odds of you killing me?

Well... right this second... not very good.

[Beeping]

[Bell tolling]

[Grunting]

[Bell continues tolling]

[Yells]

[Grunting]

But they're getting better all the time.

[Phone ringing]

Hello?

Daddy?

Aren't you supposed to be asleep?

We were.

But we heard a crash and Mommy's not here.

We're scared. We're hiding under the bed.

Okay, listen to me carefully.

You remember where I told you to hide if there was a monster?

Go there. Take your sister. Do it now, okay?

I'll be there soon.

[Grunting]

Die.

[Chuckling]

A heroic effort.

But it seems your bell stopped ringing.

[Stefan grunts]

I miss this kind of violence.

It's personal.

[Groans]

Direct.

[Grunting]

[Chuckling]

Now you know what I always have.

The human mind is weak.

And its flesh is even weaker.

Damon: We had a deal, Cade.

Our deal was that you would bring me the dagger in exchange for Elena.

So what? You got what you wanted.

Now it's time for you to pony up.

Fine.

I will give you one soul.

No!

Ah!

Oh, oh, hey, hey.

Ah...

You okay?

Something's happening.

Something's wrong. Aah!

Bonnie, what happened?

I had visions, fire.

Elena's coffin.

You're not the only person I have a psychic connection to.

I think Elena's in trouble.

Where are you going?

I don't know.

But I know I have to go.

Cade: The question is which soul will you save?

Elena's or your brother's?

[Phone ringing, alarm blaring]

Boop.

Caroline's phone.

Kai?

What have you done?

Where's Caroline?

Yeah, she's taking a neck-snap nap.

Those kids really wore her out.

Look, you escaped.

Why don't you yost leave, find somebody else to terrorize?

Oh, because you have got two Gemini coven offspring running around here somewhere, and you know how I just love Gemini for destroying my life.

Who better to terrorize?

I'm not gonna let you hurt them.

I'm coming for you.

That's cute and all, but I'm pretty sure I'm gonna find them before you do, but, uh...

Oh, what the heck. It's no fun without a little fire under your ass, right?

Come get me.

Yeah? Well, where are you?

Just making my way to where kids like to hide.

No Geminis are supposed to be living, Ric.

Best solution is to kill them.

Kai!

I tried to kill them once already, as you know.

If at first you don't succeed, well, try, try to kill them again.

[Groans]

Cade: I'm curious, Damon.

What's it like to be the first person to know how hell on Earth feels?

Screw you.

A more important question, then.

Who is it going to be?

I suggest you answer soon, or the flames will make the decision for you.

Damon, you know what to do.

No.

I can't. I'm not saying the words.

Stefan: Fine.

Then I will. Cade, take me.

[Grunts]

Enough from the angel on his shoulder.

I'm doing you a favor, Damon.

This exact choice has defined your life since the moment you and your brother first laid eyes on Elena.

Being torn between the two has only brought both of you an immeasurable amount of pain and suffering.

It can end now.

[Groans]

Choose.

I choose me.

Stefan's mortal.

He's lived a supremely messed-up life.

His soul's already damned.

Take me.

You'll get us both eventually.

I have to say... I'm intrigued.

Well, act now, because it's a one-time offer.

Are you aware of what you're offering me?

My soul.

In eternal anguish.

Twisted, black and delicious.

Just like you like 'em. So, come on! Eat me!

I'd like nothing more.

But it requires you being dead.

Oh, Damon, please don't do this.

Sorry, Stef.

It's been a hell of a ride.

Put my girl out first.

Then promise me you'll keep your grubby paws off her soul... permanently.

[Grunts softly]

Done.

Your move, Damon.

Damon, don't.

See you in hell, Cade.

No, Damon.

Yes.

You will.

[Groans] No.

No!

[Groans]

[Groans]

[Damon's body thuds, Stefan groans]

[Groaning]

[Thunder rumbles]

[Humming "Pop Goes the Weasel," alarm blaring]

Josie? Yoo-hoo, Lizzie?

Come out where Uncle Kai can see you.

I have a small axe to grind.

Well... not so small.

[Wooden creaking, metallic scraping of axe]

[Alarm continues sounding]

Lizzie: And Josie slipped off.

Josie: Yeah, I fell, but I was okay.

Lizzie: She wasn't hurt.

Idiots.

Then she pushed me, but I didn't fall down.

I can feel the magic.

Like you showed me.

Josie: But she got scared.

Lizzie: Yeah, I got scared.

Then I stopped.

[Girls giggling]

[Grunting]

That was for my kids.

[Yells]

That was for me.

[Groaning]

And this is for...

[Groaning]

Kai Parker don't fight fair.

[Groans]

You were saying something? Something about, uh... this is for...

For Jo.

That's what he was gonna say.

[Water dripping]

There's no point hiding, Damon!

You're dead.

Your soul belongs to me.

[Thunder rumbles]

I'm psychic, remember?

I know you can hear me.

[Footsteps approaching]

Damon: Hiding ain't my style, Cade.

[Thunder crashes]

Annoying you, on the other hand...

It's right up my alley.

So I guess this is where the tragic tale of Damon Salvatore ends.

Look on the bright side.

Your suffering is just beginning.

[Loud thunderclaps]

[Rumbling and whooshing]

Well, that was anti-climactic.

We taking an Uber instead?

We have a visitor.

And her pain will be almost as sweet as yours.

Miss Bennett.

You're just in time.

Where are my friends?

Don't worry.

They're safe... except for Damon.

Damon's very dead.

What?

[Laughs] Relax.

You share my psychic gift.

So if you'll just open your mind...

[Whooshing]

You shouldn't be here, Bon.

[Thunder crashes]

Let him go.

[Laughs] And why should I do that?

Damon sold his soul to me.

Like you said, we share the same gift.

I won't let you take him without a fight.

I was hoping you'd say that, but I warn you: if you attempt to keep Damon's soul on this plane, your mind will surely shatter.

[Whooshing]

[Groans]

[Grunting]

I... said... no!

Or maybe your body will give out first, leaving Elena Gilbert to wake up in a world without her lover or best friend.

Shut up!

For the last time, release Damon, or risk losing more than him.

Damon: He's right, Bon.

You got to let me go.

Not... gonna... happen.

[Whooshing]

Damon: Please.

Let go, Bon.

Or I will.

Damon.

Don't you dare.

Don't.

[Whooshing]

[Loud whooshing and rumbling]

Damon.

[Damon groans, Cade gasps]

[Groans]

[Coughing]

Bet you didn't see that coming.

[Coughing]

Go... to hell.

You first.

Aah!

[Groaning]

♪ ♪

[Coughing]

[Groans]

[Groans softly]

Bonnie.

[Groans] Bonnie.

[Grunting]: Bonnie.

Bonnie, wake up.

Please.

Bonnie, wake up.

[Groans]

Hi.

Nice save.

For the record, this doesn't mean I forgive you.

Consider it a first step.

Because I'm not gonna stop trying until you do.

Damon: Am I late for the group hug?

Bonnie: Damon.

You okay?

Yeah.

That little psychic blast must have blew me back into my body.

[Chuckles]

Let me do the dirty work next time, okay?

Saving this for a special occasion.

Guess I'm gonna get that epic bro moment after all.

Yeah, I'd say killing Cade and destroying hell as we know it qualifies.

It was actually a wedding present.

I know I don't get a vote, but you're crazy if you think leaving Mystic Falls is the answer.

I'm human, Damon.

You're gonna have to let me go someday.

And it's gonna suck when that day comes.

But it shouldn't be today.

Not when things are looking up for a change, man.

Hell or no hell, my life is never gonna be the same.

I have a lot of... sins to answer for.

Well, cowardice ain't one of them.

You just went toe-to-toe with the devil, man.

Makes you pretty brave in my book.

The brave thing to do is stay.

How can I?

I have to pay for what I've done.

In my wretched, miserable life, I have inflicted a fantastic amount of pain.

I don't think my slate will ever be clean.

But I don't need some spirit journey with a bunch of strangers to convince me that my redemption is within reach.

I just need the people I love.

The list is short, but profound.

You're right at the top, alongside a great girl I hope to marry one day.

Don't walk away from your list because you don't think you're worth it.

But like I said, brother, it's your call.

You talk to Bonnie?

All good.

She knows exactly what to do.

And the girls are out like logs.

I'm a little embarrassed that I suggested the problem was us, when it was right in front of our eyes.

You weren't wrong.

Look, I came out here knowing I needed to find a school that'd be good for the girls.

But what school exists for kids like ours?

I mean, siphon witches?

But then I stumbled upon the perfect place.

I don't follow.

I want to start one.

A school.

For Lizzie and Josie, and other kids like them.

[Chuckles] Uh, no offense, there's just a big difference between being a professor and running a school.

Exactly.

Which is why I need a collaborator.

Someone who knows how to create a safe and loving, supportive space for kids.

Someone like you.

You don't have to answer right now.

Just think about it.

[Knock at door]

I'll get it.

Stefan.

What are you...

Marry me.

What?

I don't expect you to believe that I'm sorry, or that I love you just because I say it.

I need to show you. Marry me.

I thought you had to figure things out.

I did.

I figured out that I'm an idiot.

I'm intellectually challenged, maybe even blind.

I couldn't see that everything that I was looking for was right here in you.

I have a lifetime of work to do to make things right, but I can't imagine doing it without you.

Unless I'm... too late.

No! No.

I don't want to let go of you.

But you're human now. Do you... do you know what that means?

It means I get to grow old with my best friend.

It means I get to help my wife raise her two beautiful children, and their children after that.

It means I get to fight to be the man that you deserve, until the day that I die.

I love you.

Will you marry me?

Yes.

Yes, of course.

♪ ♪

[Groans]

["Two Princes" by Spin Doctors playing]

♪ ♪

No...

No, not the Spin Doctors.

[Sighs]

I'm back in hell.

♪ ♪

Bonnie: That's impossible, because Cade's dead, and hell no longer exists.

Huh.

So you guys really pulled it off, huh?

Hey, uh, let me loose and I'll totally give you a high five.

Oh, are you here to punish me?

'Cause that's kinda hot.

Well, I have been a bit psychic lately, so we both know that your worst fear is going back to a prison world.

You can't do that.

Creating a prison world requires...

One of these, right?

Some Gemini magic.

Josie and Lizzie are really making strides.

I helped a little, but... you gotta admit, this is impressive.

Where is everyone?

Oh, there is no one else.

Just you and your insecure little mind.

And a song you hate on the jukebox, forever.

And there's no eclipse to bail your ass out this time.

No... Wait, Bonnie.

Wait, wait, wait! Please, please.

I...

I lost a bet.

[Laughing]

Oh, I can't believe you guys fell for it.

[Laughing]

Fell for what?

[Door opens, closes]

Yes.

You came. I put some champagne on ice.

Bon, what's wrong?

I just spoke to Kai.

You didn't destroy hell.

Kai: In fact, thanks to you killing Cade, hell's never been in better hands.

Damon: What are you talking about?

If Cade's not running hell, who is?

Think of the only person worse than Cade.

Think of the only person worse.

The person who knows where all your weak spots are.

Who wants to hit you there over and over again.

Who will stop at nothing to make sure that you and everyone you love suffer.

The one who wants revenge for what we did...

...to her.

Don't you dare say it, Bonnie.

Listen to me, we won.

You hear me?

Don't you dare say that name!

The myth, the legend, the baddest bitch of all.

[Kai laughing]

Katherine.

Katherine.

Bon?

[Spin Doctors playing again]

Bonnie.

No, Bonnie!

Bonnie!

Bonnie!

[Screaming]

We're toast.