02x11 - s*x, She Wrote

Episode 211
"s*x, She Wrote"

Dawson: James Van Der Beek
Joey: Katie Holmes
Pacey: Joshua Jackson
Jen: Michelle Williams
Andie: Meredith Monroe

Gail: Mary-Margaret Humes
Mitch: John Wesely Shipp
Grams: Mary Beth Piel
Bessie: Nina Repeta
Abby: Monica Kenna

ORIGINAL AIRDATE: January 20, 1999

In this episode:When the meddlesome Abby discovers a crumpled but heartfelt note, written by someone who has just had s*x, to their "partner in crime," she decides that figuring out who these two are is perfect fodder for her English class report on the mystery genre.

Abby particularly relishes the fact that all of her "suspects" will be subject to public humiliation once she presents her findings in class - one they all attend. After some investigation, Abby decides to solve her mystery a la Hercule Poirot, and sends mysterious invitations to a late-night meeting in the English classroom to all suspects. When Joey, Jack, Dawson, Jen, Pacey and Andie arrive, they realize that they've been trapped. Tension builds as they all squirm, and embarrassing revelations and accusations fly, but the end result is a big surprise to all.

*Joey and Jack are outside of Joey's house*

Joey: Well, do you have everything?

Jack: Yeah, I think so..

*Joey just nods nervously and awkwardly.*

Joey: 'Kay...well...thanks for posing for me.

Jack: Yeah..sure...

*Cut to Dawson and Jen on Jen's porch. Jen is still in her nightgown.*

Jen: That was an unexpected encounter.

Dawson: I don't know what came over me. I just...I wanna say--

Jen: Dawson, before we, um, disect what just happened, um, why don't we give it like 12 hours, okay?

Dawson: Okay.

*Cut to Pacey and Andie, standing at the side of the car, kissing. Cut to Joey and Jack, still in the same spot*

Jack: You don't have any..regrets, do you?

Joey: *shakes her head no while smiling* No.

Jack: That's good.

*Jack leans in and they kiss as we cut back to Dawson and Jen.*

Dawson: See you tomorrow?

Jen: 'K. Goodnight, Dawson.

Dawson: Goodnight, Jen.

*He leans in and kisses her on the forehead. Then, heads back to his house. Cut to Pacey and Andie.*

Andie: Thank you.

Pacey: Thank you.

Andie: *laughs* No, thank you.

Pacey: No, really, thank you.

Andie: No, really, thank you.

Pacey: I insist, thank you.

*She turns around and faces him*

Andie: Thank you.

*She walks towards her house. Cut to Joey and Jack. Jack is walking down the stairs. He waves goodbye as we cut to Joey's face, obviously thinking about what happened. Cut to Pacey, staring after Andie. Cut to Jen staring outside. Cut to opening credits.*

*Cut to Mr. Peterson's class, Dawson is giving his presentation on "mysteries in literature" but he's showing a film. He pauses the film. The lights are off only the lamp on the podium is on.*

Dawson: So, we can conclude that film mysteries don't differ from literary ones, at all. The genre's still constructed in three sections: the setup, the testimonies, and the classic day neu mof (sp?) where all the characters are gathered in one room while the likes of Charlie Chan or Miss Marbalt (?) give their final monologue revealing the killer's identity. The key to solving any great crime is a practical understanding of human behavior. For it is there, that the motives are discovered and the greatest truths are revealed. And, remember, you never know when a mystery will find you.

*He shuts off the light and there's a loud scream as Mr. Peterson turns the lights back on.*

Mr. Peterson: Thank you, Dawson. Your flair for the dramatic is always in some small degree appreciated. I think we have time for one more...Abby! What incredible insight do you bring to the mystery genre?

Abby: Actually, Mr. Peterson, I don't have my project. You see, the most tragic thing occurred while I was working on it. Our family pet, a very temperamental schnauzer named Giggles, got underneath the bathroom sink and chewed up a whole box of chocolate-flavored laxatives that my dad sometimes needs. So anyways, Giggles ate the whole box and he bled to death, internally. Apparently, chocolate laxatives are toxic to dogs.

Mr. Peterson: It's a shame, Ms. Morgan, that you can't find a more productive outlet for your creative lying.

Abby: I'm not lying.

Mr. Peterson: Please, let's just stick to the fundamentals. The alphabet. The letter 'F'. If you don't turn in your project, I'll see to it that you fail this course.

*bell rings*

Mr. Peterson: Tomorrow, we are hosting a book fair in the school cafeteria. I remind you, as literary scholars, your attendence is mandatory.

*As Chris was getting up to leave, he spotted a folded note on the ground a couple of desks up. He goes up and grabs it and reads it. He looks a little surprised and looks around. Cut to the cafeteria. Joey and Jack are sitting together.*

Jack: So, uh, are we ever going to speak again?

Joey: I hope so.

Jack: Why's it so awkward?

Joey: Mmm, I can answer that for 200, Bob!

*Cut to Pacey opening his textbook when Andie comes up behind him and covers his eyes.*

Andie: Hey, Mr. Witter, how are you?

*They start kissing when Pacey stops.*

Pacey: I--you know, um, we probably shouldn't do this right here.

Andie: I'm sorry. I just had a major lust issue where you're concerned. Thanks for last night. You were a perfect gentlemen. And I thoroughly enjoyed myself.

Pacey: Glad I could be of service. I had a nice time, too.

Andie: Good.

*Cut to Dawson sitting down by Jen in the cafeteria.*

Dawson: Hey!

Jen: Hi.

Dawson: How are ya?

Jen: Fine...you?

Dawson: Great. *reaches into bag for a manila envelope, handing it to Jen.* My, um, script. New and improved. I got home last night, and I tooled around some changes. I think they'll address your concern.

Jen: Let me guess, they do it, huh?

Dawson: Um, actually, the so-called Dawson character does it with the beautiful *VCR screwed up* from the big city he has a crush on. I made the changes per our last conversation.

Jen: Per our last conversation or per our last physical encounter?

Dawson: Let's just say you inspired me.

*Cut to Abby and Chris in line in the cafeteria.*

Abby: If I had a gun, Mr. Peterson would be dead. If I fail English, I have summer school hell!

Chris: Did you have s*x last night?

Abby: Are you talking to me? 'Cause if you are, that's a Non Sequitor I'm choosing to ignore.

Chris: Well, somebody's going at it. I'm just trying to figure out who it is.

Abby: What are you talking about?

*Chris hands her the note he found.*

Abby: "I want to talk to you about last night. The whole night was amazing, but s*x changes everything. And I think we should take some time before anything happens again." Where'd you find this?

Chris: On the floor, in Mr. Peterson's class.

Abby: I don't recognize the handwriting. Did you see who dropped it?

Chris: No.

*Cut to Jack and Joey.*

Jack: Did you finish your drawing? Did you turn it in yet or..

*Joey reaches down and comes back up with a big blue folder, she opens it but Jack shuts it quickly.*

Jack: Wo! Hey! Leaving my shameless nature has it's threshhold. It's one thing posing naked in the quiet of your living room, but in the cafeteria? No. Uh-uh.

Joey: Jack, don't worry. This is strictly for my professor's eyes only.

*He scoots in closer and then looks at it.*

Jack: Do you think I could have it? After you're done? You know, as a keepsake?

Joey: Why so you can remember your 15 minutes of fame as a male model?

Jack: So I can remember everything about last night.

*Cut to Andie and Pacey.*

Andie: What's this?

Pacey: It's nothing. Just my history quiz.

Andie: Oh, so what'd you get?

Pacey: Never you mind.

Andie: No, really, what did you get?

Pacey: It's none of your business.

Andie: What's wrong, Pacey?

Pacey: Nothing.

Andie: Is it a bad grade or is it me? I mean, you're not upset about last night, are you?

Pacey: No, last night was fine. Um..

Andie: Look, I know that things...escalated in our relationship and a lot was said and done that--

Pacey: Andie, can we (missed word) with this...for right now? Please? It's just, you know, I have to study. You want me studying, right?

Andie: Yeah, but more importantly, I don't want you to turn into some stereotypical guy that turns off and shuts down as soon as a relationship starts to progress.

Pacey: I'm not shutting down, okay? It's just, I'm really behind and uh, I have to study. You understand that right?

Andie: Yeah...

*Cut to Dawson and Jen.*

Jen: So you're okay with everything?

Dawson: Completely fine...are you?

Jen: Yeah. I'm fine. I was just more worried about you.

Dawson: Don't be. Last night was last night. Today we have a movie to make so...we're still friends. And whatever word applies to what we are.

Jen: Friends. Or whatever.

*Cut back to Abby and Chris.*

Abby: This is it! This is what I'll do for Peterson. Instead of deconstructing some literary convention, I'll solve my own real-life mystery. It's original, it's creative, it's so Abby Morgan.

Chris: And what's the mystery?

Abby: Who wrote this letter? Who had s*x?

Chris: Yeah, but there's like 20 people in that class. It could be anyone.

Abby: Common sense eliminates 90% of them.When you think about it, there's only three likely couples. The most obvious being Pacey and Andie. *Chris and Abby turn to look at them.* Pacey's sexually experienced, as we all know, and Andie's fallen head-over-heels in love with him. Insanity runs in her family.

Chris: Yeah...

Abby: Then, there's Joey and Jack. *their attention switches to them.* They share their whole artistic vibe. Progressive...uninhibited...experimental..

Chris: And Joey's got her hot little angle.

Abby: Then, there's Dawson and Jen. *Chris and Abby look at them.* He's on the rebound and, God knows, she likes to bounce.

Chris: What about you? Do you like to bounce?

Abby: *disgusted* Chris, your lines land like bricks. Look, I'm going to need your help on this. You're going to have to document this thing.

Chris: Why? Out of the goodness of my heart? Forget about it.

Abby: I'll let you touch me in bad places.

Chris: Okay.

*Cut to Dawson and Joey standing outside of the school under the ledge, sheltered from the rain.*

Dawson: Hey.

Joey: Hey, Dawson. Looks like scary weather.

Dawson: Yeah, I heard it's supposed to rain for the next couple days. What ya got there? *motioning towards blue folder*

Joey: Oh this? Drawing for art class.

Dawson: A naked man?

Joey: Yeah.

Dawson: How'd it turn out?

Joey: Naked. *laughs*

Dawson: Can I see it?

Joey: Ummm how's the movie coming, Dawson?

Dawson: Um, still casting. We can't seem to find a leading lady.

Joey: Why is that?

Dawson: Well, it's difficult. The part requires a certain mixture of spirit and passion, wide-eyed innocence, and unparalleled external beauty.

Joey: Well, it sounds like you're looking for a Julia Roberts.

Dawson: What I need is a you.


Joey: Dawson, is this movie about us?

Dawson: It's a drama in the vain of us.

Joey: Well, I should read it don't you think? I mean, make sure it's not a character assasination.

Dawson: Jo, I would never write anything hurtful about you, ever. I hope you know that.

Joey: Yeah..

Dawson: Looks like I should probably make a break for it. Thanks for waiting out in the rain with me.

Joey: Anytime.

*She stares after him as he walks off.*

*Cut to Abby and Chris and Chris' locker.*

Abby: Have you seen Dawson's rewrite? We have s*x. It's disgusting.

Chris: Yeah...so when do you want to practice?

Abby: Chris, I have a finger I'd place in my mouth for vomiting. My point was this is the closest thing we have to a clue in our little Who Screwed It? Now, I'm going to need your help with the necessary questioning.

Chris: What? You're just going to ask these guys if they had s*x?

Abby: No! You can't ask them directly. You just have to shake the tree a little bit. See what falls out.

Jen: *from offscreen* Hey you guys!

Abby: *to Chris* Watch.

*Jen appears.*

Jen: Um, I'm trying to work out a rehearsal schedule for the film...so I'm going to need you guys to fill these out with your availibility schedules for the next few weeks and get them back to me ASAP, alright?

Abby: So Jen, I just had the pleasure of reading Dawson's rewrites and I noticed some significant alterations. Mainly, one of the kinkiest s*x scenes since Mickey Rourke cracked open the refridgerator in 9 1/2 weeks.

Jen: Alright, Abby, before you go there--

Abby: No, I'm already there, Jen. You see, since Dawson's movie is mostly autobiographical, I was wondering if some of my new scenes were acted out before they were written.

Jen: It really doesn't take too much to ship your hyper-creative mind into overdrive, does it?

Abby: Oh, no! This isn't just based on assumption. People do hear things. Like about the other night.

Jen: What about it?

Abby: You tell me. Does Dawson Leery have any other talents besides filmmaking?

Jen: Abby, what happens in my bedroom, is my business, okay?

Abby: Your bedroom? Is that where the critical events unfolded?

Jen: I didn't say that.

Abby: You didn't refute it either. Jen, it's written all over your post-coital, glowing face. You finally wooed the Wonderboy into the dark side. So was it worth all the pining? All the feeling that you weren't good enough?

Jen: Yeah, it was.

*Jen walks into her classroom. Chris comes up behind Abby.*

Chris: My God, you did it! You got her to break.

Abby: Yeah, right. A sexual confession from Jen Lindley? Please. That's like Bill Gates admitting he made $2 last year. No, our work is far from over. We still have to find out who's handwriting was on that letter.

*Cut to Abby and Pacey's locker. She's holding a clipboard and a pen.*

Pacey: What's this?

Abby: I know you can read, Pacey. It's a petition.

Pacey: For what?

Abby: A school condom dispenser. I'm collecting signatures.

Pacey: You're too much, Abby.

Abby: Teenagers, these days. We're just growing up so fast. s*x is everywhere. Like, you know, with you and Andie.

Pacey: Hey, you know, tell me, Abby. What would it take to make you a distant memory?

*She holds out the clipboard and the pen, smiling. Cut to Abby following Jack.*

Abby: All I'm asking for is a signature, a little John Hancock, and I'll be gone.

Jack: The only thing I'd support of yours is your execution.

Abby: Careful Jack, some may take that caustic edge as a biproduct of serious sexual repression. Speaking of which, have you had s*x with Joey?

Jack: *stops walking* You've got to be kidding me.

*Cut to Chris and Dawson*

Chris: Since your life seems to be infested in this role, I thought I'd pick your brain a little.

Dawson: Okay...shoot.

Chris: Okay, well, the s*x scene, for instance. Clearly took from life experience.

Dawson: Your point?

Chris: Well, I just wanted to know what it was like. The first time. I mean, it's been so long since my own first adventure in the jungles of love. I thought I'd ask a newcomer.

Dawson: Wait, you think that I had s*x with Jen?

*Cut back to Jack and Abby.*

Abby: Wait, so you didn't have s*x with her?

Jack: Yes!

Abby: You did?!

Jack: Yes! No, no! Yes, I did not have s*x with Joey. Look, go away, you're demented.

*Cut back to Chris and Dawson.*

Chris: I'm just going by what I hear.

Dawson: And who's the source this time?

Chris: Well, if you and Jen were the only two in her room...who do you think it is?

*Cut to Abby talking to Andie who's holding the petition.*

Abby: Sign it for all womanhood. Most women don't have the knowledge you do about protecting themselves.

Andie: My knowledge?

Abby: You can play the whole demure, injenue from Road Island with another audience because I know everything.

Andie: *disbelieving* You do?

Abby: Yeah. Like about the other night. It's the property of gossip transference. Pacey brags to Dawson, Dawson tells Jen, Jen tells me, I tell the world, you know how it goes.

Andie: And the current piece of gossip revolves around Pacey and me?

Abby: Andie, I really don't want to be the one to impart on you that your boyfriend says you're lacking. It's not your fault that all his experience is with a 40-year-old teacher. What does he expect from you?

*Andie slams the clipboard down and storms off.*

*Cut to Chris and Joey.*

Chris: *motioning to script* It's a good read. Recently he did some heavy-duty revisions. Put in a little lucky...well, I don't want to give away the ending.

Joey: Look, Chris, I should wait until he asks.

Chris: Tell you what? I'll just slip it in your bag right here and you make the call.

Joey: Whatever.

Chris: Oh and Joey, you might want to keep it on the QT.

*She walks out of the room. Chris looks under the table and finds a familiar large blue folder as Abby enters.*

Abby: Who do I have to sleep with to solve this mystery?

Chris: I can think of one option.

Abby: Yeah, right.

*Chris motions to the folder.*

Abby: Hm, Miss Potter seems to have left something behind.

*They look at the drawing of Jack, naked. Abby's eyes light up.*

Abby: And the plot thickens.

*Cut to Dawson's room. Dawson is looking at his script and rubbing his temples when Abby enters the doorway and knocks. He turns.*

Dawson: Abby.

Abby: You should really work on making those greetings more personable, Dawson.

Dawson: Look, Abby, I don't know what you're up to, but I'm not in the mood.

Abby: That's not what I hear.

Dawson: Really? Well, I know what you're implying, and I'm telling you, despite any and all rumors, Jen and I did not have s*x.

Abby: *face drops* That's too bad.

Dawson: I'm fine with it, actually.

Abby: No, I mean, for Joey. She must be feeling like crap right now. I mean, here she went and slept with Jack and the only thing protecting her from the oodles of guilt that one amasses from such a critical event was the slight chance that you and Jen bumped uglies.

Dawson: I don't know where you're going with this conversation, but I'm ending it.

Abby: You know what? You're right. I should just give you this and go. *She hands him a folded up piece of white paper*

*Dawson opens it and it's the drawing of Jack.*

Dawson: This means nothing.

Abby: Except the obvious. Has Joey ever drawn you naked?

Dawson: Out!

*She heads toward the door.*

Abby: Jack McPhee drawn naked, Dawson Leery drawn out of the picture. After all these years, you weren't Joey's first. You're certainly not going to be her last. So I guess that makes you her...nothing.

*Dawson slams the door. Cut to hallways of school.*

Mr. Peterson: *over P.A.* The book fair is now commencing, expand your horizons. Read a book today, because there's more to life than Must See TV.

*Abby and Chris walk out*

Abby: Don't we have enough to read for school? They want us to start reading for pleasure?

Chris: Don't you look ample today.

Abby: Hands off! I don't want to catch any of your diseases.

Chris: So...whodunit? I'm beginning to think they all did it.

Abby: We'll find out soon enough. The day neu moi is rapidly approaching.

Chris: The day neu moi is for revealing answers, Abby. You don't have any.

Abby: You underestimate me. You heard Dawson, "The secret to solving a mystery is gaging human behavior." If I make them think I have the answers, the answers will be forthcoming. *hands some letters to Chris* Make sure these get into the right hands, and be discreet about it.

Chris: You know who you are, you're Nancy Drew. From Hell.

Abby: And don't you forget it.

*Cut to the book fair.*

Pacey: Hey McPhee. You got a second?

Andie: I'm busy.

Pacey: Yeah, I know but I need to talk to you.

Andie: Really? Apparently, you've been doing enough talking for both of us.

Pacey: Excuse me?

Andie: You know, it's interesting that I get the cold, shut-down, non-verbal, Pacey while the rest of Capeside gets a taste of return of Pacey Witter, underachieving, town-latthario.

Pacey: Listen, I know you're probably freaked out by my weirdness yesterday, and actually, that's why I came in here to talk to you but you're kind of losing me on everything else.

Andie: What have you been saying to people about us Pacey?

Pacey: About us? Nothing.

Andie: That's not what Abby Morgan says.

Pacey: C'mon, Andie. Since when do you listen to what Abby Morgan has to say?

Andie: She knows.

Pacey: About?

Andie: The other night.

Pacey: What? Andie, what's to know? You and I shared a wonderful, romantic evening.

Andie: If you weren't happy with me or what happened the other night you should have made it clear instead of spreading all this sexual propaganda all over school.

Pacey: Are you kidding me?

Andie: The other night, it was personal. And the fact that there's some war-provisioness version of it wafting all over the hall makes me think someone's been talking. And makes me really not want to talk to you right now.

Pacey: Okay, if that's what you think, then I guess we really don't have anything to talk about.

*He walks out of the book fair and Andie returns behind the counter of the library desk and finds a letter left for her. Cut to Jen looking at some books. She bends down to the lower half of the rack and Joey's right across from her.*

Joey: Hey.

Jen: Hey. *she notices Dawson's script hanging out of Joey's bag* So that's Dawson's script, huh?

Joey: Oh, yeah...*she pushes the bag back and still doesn't make eye contact with Jen.*

Jen: So did you read it yet?

Joey: *kind of angrily* I flipped through it.

Jen: So what'd you think?

Joey: I thought it was a one-sided view of a story that would be better left untold.

Jen: I take it you don't like the way you're depicted.

Joey: *looks her in the eye* That and I'm just wondering what other parts of the script are autobiographical.

Jen: Well, maybe you should talk to the writer about that.

*Joey continues to give her a cold stare as Jen walks off. Cut to a note reading JACK on the front taped to a locker as Jack grabs it off and kneels down to look at it. Dawson walks up.*

Dawson: *coldly* Have you seen Joey?

Jack: She's at the book fair.

Dawson: Well, since you two seem real close these days, you'll probably see her before I will.

Jack: Is there an animosity of a point here, Dawson, or is this just another chance for you to harass me over a decaying issue?

Dawson: *deadly cold* Give her this for me. Tell her I was overwhelmed. By her talent. *handing him the piece of paper of the drawing of him.*

Jack: So was I.

*Dawson storms off. Cut to school, it's lightning and raining outside. Cut to Jack in Mr. Peterson's classroom, pacing reading his invitation. Jen enters.*

Jen: Hellloooo. *sees Jack* Jack? What are you doing here?

Jack: I got an invitation, taped to my locker, it says: "Your presence is requested in Mr. Peterson's room, 7pm. I have something very valuable that may belong to you."

Jen: Yeah, I got the exact same invitation.

*Andie enters.*

Jack: Andie?

Andie: What are you doing here?

*Jack motions to his invitation as Pacey and Joey enter.*

Pacey: I see you all got the mysterious summons, too. So what's going down? Is this some impractical joke or what?

Joey: That's what I wanna know.

Pacey: *sighs* You know, I have this horrible feeling I know exactly who's behind this.

*Dawson enters.*

Dawson: Who? Could you tell me what's going on?

*Abby enters the room.*

Abby: Oh, look! All my favorite people gathered together in one room and I forgot my camera!

Dawson: I should've known.

*Chris enters with a camcorder*

Abby: *laughs* Oh, no I didn't!

Jen: Okay, Abby, what devious scheme have you hatched up this time?

Abby: All good things come to those who wait, but you've never been very good at postponing pleasure, have you?

Pacey: Why did you bring us here Abby? Take part in one of your Satanic rituals?

Abby: Actually, it's my mystery project. In my possession, I have a letter. A lost letter. That was written by one of you in this room to another one of you in this room. Stop me if you've heard this before. "I want to talk to you about last night. It always comes out wrong so I thought I'd write it down. The whole night was amazing, but having s*x changes everything and I think we should take some time before anything happens again."

Joey: You know, this is absurd, I am so outta here.

Abby: Oh, come on, Joey! Don't you want to stick around and see who the author of this letter is?

*She takes a seat as Abby goes up to the podium.*

Abby: s*x. The world's greated mystery. Philosphers, poets, scientists over time have tried to rationalize it, explain it, glorify it, criminalize it!

Dawson: Spare us the monologue.

Jen: Could you just get to the point, Abby?

Jack: Who wrote the letter?

Abby: Who wrote the letter?

*Abby goes down and turns on the lights.*

Abby: That's all you care about, isn't it?! Fine! When the letter was first brought to my attention...my gut instinct said 'Dawson and Jen.' She's been trying to seduce him for weeks! And now with all their late night working sessions and him reliving his puny affair with Joey through his writing, I thought, maybe in the heat of the moment, he needed a Joey replacement. Then, I thought, Dawson, no way. He's saving himself for Joey...or old age, whichever comes first. And Jen? She has way too many intimacy issues to bump somebody she cares about. So my next guess was Jack and Joey. Joey is the liberated woman these days and underneath Jack's sensitive, little-boy-lost fascade, I have a feeling that there's a s*x pig just waiting to jump out. *softer to Jack* Let me know when you're ready to graduate to a real woman.

Jack: You're sick and so wrong.

Dawson: Is she? We've all seen the picture.

Joey: What? You don't know what you're talking about, Dawson, that drawing was for art class.

Dawson: What happened after the model session?

Joey: What do you care?

Dawson: Maybe I don't.

Abby: Here we go, get this, Chris.

Joey: Oh, that's right, you're too busy rewriting your script to imitate life. I know all about you and Jen.

Dawson: What do you care?!

Abby: How sad. Romantic destiny fulfilled with the wrong people.

Dawson: Abby, you have it all wrong!

Abby: Oh, so you didn't have s*x with Jen?

*Dawson looks at Joey. Then, Jen.*

Joey: Well, answer the question, Dawson. Tell the truth.

Dawson: The truth is you slept with Jack.

Joey: Maybe I did.

Dawson: Well, maybe I slept with Jen.

Abby: This is good.

Joey: You did, didn't you?

Dawson: Did you?

Joey: Maybe.

Dawson: Tell the truth, Joey!

Joey: No you tell the truth!

Dawson: I asked you a question first!

Joey: No I asked you a question first!

Dawson and Joey (simultaneously): YES!!!!!!

*Lightning crashes as both Joey's and Dawson's faces drop and there's a long silence*

Jen: That's not the truth. We did not sleep together. I couldn't go through with it and neither could he. It wasn't right and this pathetic display here makes it all the more obvious why.

*Dawson sits on his desk not facing Joey.*

Jack: We didn't either. *Dawson turns around* Your little assumption, Dawson. It was wrong. We couldn't go through with it. This little movie-life your living, Dawson, is not endanger.

*Pacey's head is laying flat on his desk.*

Abby: Well, then we only have one couple left. *Abby reads from the note:** "s*x changes everything, and I think we should take some time before anything happens again." This only leaves Andie.

Andie: I didn't write that!

Abby: Of course you didn't. I checked the handwriting. It belongs to Pacey.

*Pacey looks up at Andie.*

Andie: You wrote that? *he doesn't make a move* Well, did you, Pacey?

*Pacey slowly nods.*

Andie: *starting to cry* Why? *he doesn't say anything* Okay, so that's why you've been so weird lately. That's why you've been so cold. *Pacey shakes his head no* What are you trying to say, Pacey? So you sleep with me and you don't want me?

*Pacey just sits there.*

Andie: You disgust me.

*Pacey closes his eyes as she storms out of the room. He gets up and walks over to Jack.*

Pacey: That's not how it is.

*The group starts leaving.*

Abby: Did you get that?

*Chris gives her a thumbs up as Abby turns around and looks a little shocked as Jen walks up to her.*

Jen: I don't know where you come from or just who has the misfortune of being responsible for your existence but you are a lying, manipulative, and cruel person and the fact that you're only 16 years old makes me feel more sorry for you than any of the people in this room who's lives you're so intent on destroying. You are pathetic.

*Jen walks off as Abby looks off into the distance.*

*Cut to Joey giving her presentation.*

Joey: Because of her well-drawn sleuths and clever mysteries, Agatha Christie will remain as the premiere woman mystery writer of the past, present, and future. Thank you.

Mr. Peterson: Very good, Josephine. Now, Abigail.

*She pulls out a thick red folder and a tape and sets it on her desk as Joey, Dawson, Andie, Pacey, and Jen intently watch her.*

Mr. Peterson: (cont.) Is it possible Ms. Morgan that you're going to surprise me with your assignment? Is it possible that you've finally decided to do something good for yourself and apply a little integrity to your education?

*Abby looks around at Joey, Dawson, Andie, Jen, and Pacey. She puts the folder and tape back under her desk.*

Abby: I wouldn't want to disappoint you, Mr. Peterson. I didn't do it. And integrity, just for the record, is a tired notion last seen in the late 70s.

Mr. Peterson: Well, then, I'm sure lack of integrity will make it easier to accept your 'F'.

*Abby looks miserable.*

Mr. Peterson: Just for the record. And who is next...Miss McPhee.

*Andie gets up with her stuff and walks past Abby.*

Andie: Thank you.

Abby: Whatever...

*Cut to Jack in an empty classroom, pulling down a chair and he sits in it. Jen enters the room.*

Jen: Hey.

Jack: Hey.

Jen: What are you doing here? School's over. Go home.

Jack: Nah, I'm just, um, thinking.

Jen: About what?

Jack: How it's not that much fun playing second string.

Jen: I know what you mean. Don't worry, you'll get used to it. I have.

*She starts to leave but he pulls down another chair.*

Jack: Uh, here, have a seat.

Jen: Okay.

Jack: So, um, what are you gonna do about Dawson?

Jen: Well, I guess there's really nothing I can do. I mean, as much as I love the guy, he's just not there yet. I mean, I can take all the jerks in the world climbing in and out of my bedroom window, but when Dawson Leery does it, it better be for me.

Jack: That is so cool how you can just unleash all that onto someone you barely even know.

Jen: Or just crazy.

Jack: No. I wish that I could be more open like that.

Jen: Well, why don't you give it a shot? Why didn't you and Joey do it?

Jack: *laughs nervously* I can't say.

Jen: Come on, you can think of it as growth. Come on, you've got to tell me, shoot.

Jack: No.

Jen: Oh, c'mon, I just spilled my guts to you. Go for it.

Jack: Okay, alright, but you promise not to say anything to anyone.

Jen: Swear.

Jack: 'Kay 'cause you know...it's really embarressing.

*Jen makes the sign she's crossing her heart.*

Jack: *he leans in towards her* I couldn't, uh, get it up.

Jen: You couldn't get it--

Jack: Shh!

Jen: Oh, I know, I know. So what happened?

Jack: I can't speak for Joey but I really wanted to, really badly, and it just wouldn't cooperate. I mean, I couldn't even take my clothes off because I was so scared. Maybe I have a problem...I don't know.

Jen: No, hey, it's okay. Alright, believe me. I've been there. Oh yeah, those things just never cooperate.

*They laugh*

*Cut to Pacey running towards Andie in the rain. He gets in her car.*

Andie: Get out.

Pacey: We're not done.

Andie: Oh, yes, we are.

Pacey: I know that my behavior lately has been a little bit confusing and I'm sorry for being so cold and so distant, but a lot of stuff has been happening. I mean, I don't even know really where to start.

Andie: You can start by getting out of the car.

Pacey: How about I start at the truth. *He digs around in his bag and pulls out a piece of paper and gives it to her* My history quiz. I never told you my grade.

Andie: Pacey, you got a--

Pacey: An 'A'. I got an 'A'. The first 'A' I've ever gotten in my entire life. It kind of threw me for a loop.

Andie: Why? You worked so hard for it.

Pacey: Because it changes everything. Don't you see everything's always been so predictable for me. But now, my whole life's course is changing. Ever since you and I had s*x, I've felt anxious, you know? Wondering should we have waited? Should we slow down? Wondering if it was the right thing to do. Wishing that I had taken the high road, and that's not me! You know? It used to be the only comforting part about Pacey Witter is that I always knew what to expect, and now I don't have a clue and I'm terrified. And that's why I was pulling away from you.

Andie: It's okay to be scared, Pacey. The world is a scary, scary place. But I don't want you to be scared of me.

Pacey: How can I not be, Andie? You're the one that's opening up this whole new life for me. I'm afraid that...

Andie: What?

Pacey: I'm afraid because you're the single-most, important being to ever grace my existance. Andie, I am falling hopelessly in love with you. *silence* Say something because I did kind of just cut it open and lay it out for ya.

Andie: Yeah, that was pretty scary.

Pacey: That's it. That's all you have to say.

Andie: No. I'll say that I share your fear.

Pacey: Yeah?

Andie: Your exact fear.

*They kiss. Cut to Joey at her locker as Dawson walks up to his. They're close to each other but don't say anything. JOey finishes and starts to walk away when Dawson stops her.*

Dawson: You and I crisects til we're blue in the face but when it comes time to actually doing it, all we're left with is a couple of harmless kisses. I mean, the setting was right, the timing was perfect, but nothing happened. Why?

Joey: I know why.

Dawson: You do?

Joey: Yeah. The same reason nothing happened with me. Dawson, it's not about the perfect setting. It's not about the perfect timing. Um, it's about the perfect person.

*She walks out and heads for the door as Dawson stares after her. Joey is outside under the ledge sheltered from the rain. Dawson comes out.*

Joey: Hey.


Dawson: Why did you want me to think you slept with Jack?

Joey: I don't know. I mean, I guess the same reason you wanted me to think that you slept with Jen.

Dawson: That's not an answer.

Joey: Well, that's the only answer you're going to get I guess.

Dawson: I'm glad you didn't.

Joey: I glad you didn't either.

Dawson: Joey, I miss you.

Joey: I miss you, too.

Dawson: I don't know if we can recapture 15 years of what we had but I'd be willing to accept any small fraction you'd send my way.

Joey: Well, maybe we could start slowly.

Dawson: Okay...yeah.

Joey: Okay.

Dawson: Okay. *sighs* Well, it doesn't look like this rain is going to let up anytime soon so...what do you say we make a run for it?

Joey: Mm-mm. I say we walk.

*They start walking.*

Dawson: What did you really think of my script?

*He takes off his coat and holds it above them to shelter them from the rain.*

Joey: You want the whole honest, bitter, cynical truth?

Dawson: Yeah.

Joey: Well, I have no idea. It was so mysterious.

Dawson: You're definitely a mystery.

Joey: I like the way you see me. *She smiles.*

*They continue walking off into the distance together, Dawson holding his coat above their heads.*