01x08 - In The Company of Men

In The Company Of Men #108

*Dawson is leaning against his window looking out towards Jen's house. Joey is sitting on Dawson's bed watching him*

Joey: Dawson, Neighbor girl dumped you. No one died. Just get over it.

Dawson: It was 48 hours ago. And you'd think I exceeded the statue of limitations of pain.

Joey:It's not a matter of time, Dawson, it's a matter of degree. You haven't eaten and you stare at Jen's house like it's going to disappear. And I've seen you at school. You spy. It's twisted. And I'm almost afraid to ask what movie you brought back tonight.

Dawson: Sid and Nancy.

Joey: See, your problem is that you're getting off on this.

Dawson: *getting up from the window and going to his desk* Sorry, Joey.*Picks up ET doll* It's tough to come up with creative moping strategies once I realized that everything I'm about is exactly what turned her off. It's not like I can learn to dance or get a new haircut or something.

Joey:*gets up from the bed and goes over to her* Dawson, she dumped you, not your belief system.

Dawson: She rejected romance, honesty, and respect. Everytime I see Billy outside of her house, I'm reminded.

Joey: Everything reminds you of her.

Dawson:Oh?

Joey: Dawson, you've known the girl for three months. How could everything possibly remind you of her?

Dawson: I don't know, Joey, I can't explain it. It just does.

*Dawson goes over to his bed and lays down. Joey follows and grabs the remote from him. She sits down on the chair next to the bed*

Joey: C'mon, let's just watch the movie. This conversation is becoming far too disturbing.

*Dawson looks at the tv and sees Jen's face. He grabs a pillow and puts it over his face.*

Dawson:Ohhhhhhhhh.

Theme Song to Dawson's Creek

*Billy climbs up Jen's window and into her room. He looks around it, picking up pictures here and there, and finally lays on her bed to wait for her*

Jen: *voice heard* Hey. Grams, have you seen my green shirt? I, I think it needs ironing.

Grams:*voice* Oh yes, dear. I thought I saw it in your closet. *Grams enters* Ah, you left it on the dresser. *looks over and sees Billy on the bed*Jennifer, would you come up here now, please? And bring the telephone *To Billy* And you would be?

Billy: Quite comfortable, thanks.

Grams: I want a name.

Billy: Billy.

Grams: Billy? Oh yes, I've heards about you before.

Jen: *entering her room* Okay, I've got the phone. *sees Billy* What the hell are you doing here?

Billy: Word is, you dropped Dawson, so I just thought you might be looking for a suitable replacement.

Grams: If he's not out of my house in two minutes, I'm calling the National Guard.*to Jen* And then I would like a serious word with you.

*Grams leaves*

Billy: *calling after her* Great to meet you.

Jen: I thought you were leaving.

Billy: You know, my car was packed and I really was, Jenny, but then word trickled down and I thought it might be in my best interest to stick around a little longer.

Jen: Well then, why don't I clearify things for you. Just because Dawson and I are on hiatus doesn't mean there's some vacancy I'm looking to fill.

Billy:Let's just say there happened to be this guy. Some guy you had an intense connection with. Then I might think you'd be open to the possibility.

Jen: I'd have to say no. But I'd also like to add: not a chance and never again.

Billy: You used to be fun, you know that.

Jen: No, I used to be weak and vulnerable.

Billy: Yeah, well next time you alter your personality, let me know in advance. It'll save me in gas money. *Billy exits through the window*

*Billy is sitting outside on the hood of his car eating an apple. Dawson walks by on his way to class*

Dawson: You know, I'm beginning to doubt your sincerity when you tell me you're leaving.

Billy: *getting off his car* Hey, just the man I was looking for.

Dawson:What can I provide you with this time, Billy? A place to stay? Or just another chance to completely screw up my life?

Billy: You know, despite outword appearances, you and I actually have a lot in common.

Dawson: Right. Both got our hearts broken by the same girl. But you know what? Jen didn't flee the state to get away from me.

Billy: Give her time.

*Dawson starts walking away from Billy*

Billy: Man, if I lived 50 yards away from her, I swear to you, I'd go insane.

*Dawson stops to listen to Billy*

Billy: Stare up at her window wondering what she's doing. She's talking on the phone, who is she talking to? And if she's listening to music, who do those songs remind her of? Does she still think about me?

Dawson: And does she think about me as half as much as I think of her.

Billy: See what I mean. Common ground. But the good news is there's a simple cure for all of this.

*Dawson walks back to Billy to hear more*

Dawson: Yeah?

Billy: Yeah. Don't get me wrong. Jen is a great girl. But last time I checked, she wasn't the only one. What? Are you unconvinced? Look, take a little ride with me. Let me illustrate my point.

Dawson: Take a ride where?

Billy: Providence. There's this club there. It's a bit of a dive but absolutely remarkable in one respect. It lies exactly equi-distant between a pair of women's colleges. Co-eds wall-to-wall, Dawson.

Dawson: Can I get in? I'm not exactly legal.

Billy: I know the bouncer.

Dawson: Of course, there's school.

Billy: And what's waiting for you there? Another day wondering about Jenny? Where she is? When you'll see her next? What football player she's having lunch with?

Dawson: You made your point. And you know what? You're right. This is exactly what I need. To get away from her. To get away from here. You know what, she's going to freak when I'm not there. It'll be good to let her wonder about me for awhile.

*Billy and Dawson drive off together*

*Joey is walking down the middle of the street to school. Warren Gerry is driving along in his jeep. He continues driving even as they talk*

Warren: Hey, Warren Gerry. I'm on my way to school. You need a lift?

Joey: Ah, no thanks. I'm waiting for Ted Bundy.

Warren: Well, Ted's a lucky man.

Joey: Ted Bundy is dead. He was a serial--

Warren: Killer. Yeah, I know. Executed in Florida, claimed p0rn made him do it. So come on, what do you say? I need the merit badge.

Joey: And which badge is that?

Warren: Community Service. I'm going to say you were 80 and blind.

Joey: Well, I'm sure you'll be an Eagle Scout by the end of the day.

Warren: Exactly. So what do you say? C'mon, help me out here.

*Joey relents and she gets in the car with him. They are soon driving to school together*

Warren: So is the air cold or are you just happy to see me?

Joey: You had to go and do it. You had to invoke my participation. Does it bother you that you singlehandly participated the stereotype?

Warren:Which answer means we can get friendly down in the sand together?

Joey: You know. if having s*x ruined it, and famine didn't even work, and kissing you would bring out a new AIDs enlightenment, then I'd...

Warren: You know something? You talk a lot. So what? That's all you and your boyfriend*Joey looks at him* Dawson, and I use the term loosely, do? Talk?

Joey: You don't need to use the term at all, Warren. Dawson is not my boyfriend.

Warren: Well, the boy part I was reffering to.

*Joey looks at him strangely*

Warren: What? You ever seen the guy throw a baseball?

Joey: Believe it or not, there's no correlation between a slide and a sperm count.

Warren: How would you know? I mean, you're obviously a virgin.

Joey: How do you know that Dawson and I haven't been going at it for years? I mean, we could be imitating the Kuma Sutra for all you know.

Warren: Oh.

Joey: You know, I might be a virgin, but believe me, it's by choice.

*Joey and Warren continue driving to school*

*Dawson and Billy are in the hallway of the school. Dawson spots Pacey and starts to go over to him*

Dawson: You could have waited in the car.

Billy: Don't worry, I won't tell anyone we're together.

Pacey:*as Billy leaves them* Hey, what's he up to?

Dawson: We're cutting out of here. We're going up to a club in Providence.

Pacey: Finally! Dawson's evil twin. This is going to be a much anticipated pleasure.

*Pacey shuts his locker preparing to go with Dawson*

Dawson: What are you doing?

Pacey: You're cutting class to go to a nightclub, you're asking what I'm doing. I'm coming with you,man. I wouldn't miss this for the world.

Dawson: Billy.

Billy: Hey. Great so we're ready to go?

Dawson: Yeah. I'm going to go turn in my math homework and we're out of here.

*Dawson rushes off*

Pacey: Yeah. Walk on the wild side.

*Joey and Jen are walking towards their lockers with each other*

Jen: *to Joey* Listen, I heard something this morning that I thought you should. *Jen spots Billy by her locker*

Jen: At the risk of sounding redundant, what the hell are you doing here?

Billy: The boys just have to wrap up some things before we left. *to Joey* Good morning.

Jen:What are you talking about?

Billy: I'm taking Pacey and your boy here on a little road trip. Funny, but in the midst of all the confusion, Dawson and I actually stumbled upon some common ground.

Jen: I don't think I like the sound of this, Billy. The last thing Dawson needs is to be pulled down by you.

Billy:I swear to you, Dawson was simply complaining how a guy can't seem to get any around here. So, I told him about this little place I know.

Joey: What kind of place?

Billy: Let's just say that women take cash and are remarkably friendly.

Joey: You're taking him to a whore house?

Billy:*spying Dawson* Oh, there's his holiness now. Well girls, gotta run. I see Saint Dawson is chumping at the bits to get some.

Joey: I think I'm going to go barf.

*They leave the girls*

Billy: Excuse me *pulling Pacey with him*

Pacey: We're not really going to go..

Billy: No. I was just kidding around.

Pacey: Oh?

Billy: Cheer up, stud.

*Jen and Joey are back at their lockers talking*

Joey: God.

Jen:You know, I've never really had a whole lot of faith in guys. But I. I thought Dawson was different.

Joey: Yeah, he's different. Unfortunately, he's just not as different as we thought.

Jen: No. Listen, ah, Joey, you know that football player Warren.

Joey: What?

Jen: You didn't sleep with him, did you?

Joey: Yeah, I had s*x with Warren Gerry. Right after I gave a sponge bath to the Navy pilots. Why would you even ask me that?

Jen: He's telling everyone you did.

*Jen and Joey are left standing in the hall as the bell rings signaling class*

*Dawson, Billy and Pacey are on the ferry to get to Rhode Island. Billy is down below the deck and Pacey and Dawson are talking by the rails.*

Billy: I'm going to go downstairs and get a drink.

Dawson: Alright. We'll be right here.

Pacey: Alright, one more time. Dawson, you're not the type of guy who does something bad just because it feels good.

Dawson:Oh, there's a oxymoron to live by.

Pacey: What? You want examples of this? Alright, what's the first thing, the very first thing you did after announcing this little roadtrip of ours? Remember? You know exactly what it was, don't you? You turned in your Math homework. Man, hey, those are not exactly the actions of a rebel. But there's nothing wrong with that. You just cared about what people think about you. You're that nice Leery boy, man. You like being the nice Leery boy.

Dawson: Oh yeah, and you're any different?

Pacey:Hey.Please. Just, you know, talk to the school board and take a glance at my permanent records. There's not comparision between you and I, Dawson. Everybody knows you're a regular Richie Cunningham. Billy, he's the Fonz.

Dawson: Congratulations. That makes you Potsie.

*The school lunchroom. Jen is sitting at a table with some people. Joey walks up to Warren who's sitting with his football friends*

Joey: We need to talk.

Warren: She needs to talk.

*Warren gets up from his table and follows her to a corner of the room*

Joey: It wasn't very memorable, Warren.

Warren: What?

Joey: The s*x. In fact, I can't seem to remember it at all. Why don't you refresh my memory?

Warren: It was actually pretty good. Although you did eventually complain of fatigue.

Joey: What is going on in that twisted head of yours?

Warren: Look, this could be a win-win.

Joey: Explain.

Warren: Our reps. Okay, I've got one to live up to; you have one to live down.

Joey: What? And people thinking we're doing the deed is going to help my precious reputation?

Warren: Well, you know how in baseball, there are major and minor leagues?

Joey: Yeah.

Warren: Well, think of this as your call up to the show. No more shying in flyballs with washouts and wannabes.

Joey: You are such a b*st*rd. If you're the major leagues, well, then I hope I never get out of the A-ball.

Warren: *loud enough for everyone to hear*Hey look, I never said that I would be your boyfriend.

*Everyone looks at them. Joey storms off upset and Jen follows to make sure she's okay*

*Jen finds Joey hunched on the stairs in the hallway. Jen stands at the foot of the stairs leaning against the wall*

Jen: I never believed it.

Joey: You sure? That's why you asked.

Jen: I only asked because I was concerned, Joey. But I would have bet anything against it. Besides.

Joey: Besides what?

Jen: Nevermind. I guess I've always just pictured you with someone different. Someone. You know, just another lifeform.

Joey: Walking upright.

Jen: Yeah. Opposible thumb. The whole bit. And maybe someone just a tad more sensitive than Warren.

Joey: Yeah, well, in my experiences, even the sensitive ones can let you down with the best of them.

Jen: You know, Joey, maybe Dawson is.

Joey: Look, I didn't say a thing about Dawson. And as far as Warren and his pathetic fantasies go, you know, what harm can a guy do? I mean, being called a football groupie could describe half the girls in this school.

Jen: Joey, I may be overstepping my boundaries here, but, ah, I think I know a way to get Warren back.

Joey: What? You know how to make a voodoo doll or something?

Jen: No, I'm serious. You know, guys like Warren have been getting away with this kind of stuff way too long. So, what do you say Joey? Are you interested in a little payback?

Joey: Alright, I'm listening.EPISODE 108
"IN THE COMPANY OF MEN"

Cast
Dawson: James Van Der Beek
Joey: Kaite Holmes
Pacey: Joshua Jackson
Jen: Michelle Williams

Original Airdate: March 17, 1998

(Dawson is leaning against his window looking out towards Jen's house. Joey is sitting on Dawson's bed watching him)

Joey: Dawson, Neighbor girl dumped you. No one died. Just get over it.

Dawson: It was 48 hours ago. And you'd think I exceeded the statue of limitations of pain.

Joey: It's not a matter of time, Dawson, it's a matter of degree. You haven't eaten and you stare at Jen's house like it's going to disappear. And I've seen you at school. You spy. It's twisted. And I'm almost afraid to ask what movie you brought back tonight.

Dawson: Sid and Nancy.

Joey: See, your problem is that you're getting off on this.

Dawson: (getting up from the window and going to his desk) Sorry, Joey.(Picks up ET doll) It's tough to come up with creative moping strategies once I realized that everything I'm about is exactly what turned her off. It's not like I can learn to dance or get a new haircut or something.

Joey: (gets up from the bed and goes over to her) Dawson, she dumped you, not your belief system.

Dawson: She rejected romance, honesty, and respect. Everytime I see Billy outside of her house, I'm reminded.

Joey: Everything reminds you of her.

Dawson:Oh?

Joey: Dawson, you've known the girl for three months. How could everything possibly remind you of her?

Dawson: I don't know, Joey, I can't explain it. It just does.

(Dawson goes over to his bed and lays down. Joey follows and grabs the remote from him. She sits down on the chair next to the bed)

Joey: C'mon, let's just watch the movie. This conversation is becoming far too disturbing.

(Dawson looks at the tv and sees Jen's face. He grabs a pillow and puts it over his face.)

Dawson:Ohhhhhhhhh.


Theme Song to Dawson's Creek


(Billy climbs up Jen's window and into her room. He looks around it, picking up pictures here and there, and finally lays on her bed to wait for her)

Jen: (voice heard) Hey. Grams, have you seen my green shirt? I,I think it needs ironing.

Grams:(voice) Oh yes, dear. I thought I saw it in your closet. (Grams enters) Ah, you left it on the dresser. (looks over and sees Billy on the bed)Jennifer, would you come up here now, please? And bring the telephone
(To Billy) And you would be?

Billy: Quite comfortable, thanks.

Grams: I want a name.

Billy: Billy.

Grams: Billy? Oh yes, I've heards about you before.

Jen: (entering her room) Okay, I've got the phone. (sees Billy) What the hell are you doing here?

Billy: Word is, you dropped Dawson, so I just thought you might be looking for a suitable replacement.

Grams: If he's not out of my house in two minutes, I'm calling the National Guard.(to Jen)And then I would like a serious word with you.

(Grams leaves)

Billy: (calling after her) Great to meet you.

Jen: I thought you were leaving.

Billy: You know, my car was packed and I really was, Jenny, but then word trickled down and I thought it might be in my best interest to stick around a little longer.

Jen: Well then, why don't I clearify things for you. Just because Dawson and I are on hiatus doesn't mean there's some vacancy I'm looking to fill.

Billy:Let's just say there happened to be this guy. Some guy you had an intense connection with. Then I might think you'd be open to the possibility.

Jen: I'd have to say no. But I'd also like to add: not a chance and never again.

Billy: You used to be fun, you know that.

Jen: No, I used to be weak and vulnerable.

Billy: Yeah, well next time you alter your personality, let me know in advance. It'll save me in gas money. (Billy exits through the window)


(Billy is sitting outside on the hood of his car eating an apple. Dawson walks by on his way to class)

Dawson: You know, I'm beginning to doubt your sincerity when you tell me you're leaving.

Billy: (getting off his car) Hey, just the man I was looking for.

Dawson:What can I provide you with this time, Billy? A place to stay? Or just another chance to completely screw up my life?

Billy: You know, despite outword appearances, you and I actually have a lot in common.

Dawson: Right. Both got our hearts broken by the same girl. But you know what? Jen didn't flee the state to get away from me.

Billy: Give her time.

(Dawson starts walking away from Billy)

Billy: Man, if I lived 50 yards away from her, I swear to you, I'd go insane.

(Dawson stops to listen to Billy)

Billy: Stare up at her window wondering what she's doing. She's talking on the phone, who is she talking to? And if she's listening to music, who do those songs remind her of? Does she still think about me?

Dawson: And does she think about me as half as much as I think of her.

Billy: See what I mean. Common ground. But the good news is there's a simple cure for all of this.

(Dawson walks back to Billy to hear more)

Dawson: Yeah?

Billy: Yeah. Don't get me wrong. Jen is a great girl. But last time I checked, she wasn't the only one. What? Are you unconvinced? Look, take a little ride with me. Let me illustrate my point.

Dawson: Take a ride where?

Billy: Providence. There's this club there. It's a bit of a dive but absolutely remarkable in one respect. It lies exactly equi-distant between a pair of women's colleges. Co-eds wall-to-wall, Dawson.

Dawson: Can I get in? I'm not exactly legal.

Billy: I know the bouncer.

Dawson: Of course, there's school.

Billy: And what's waiting for you there? Another day wondering about Jenny? Where she is? When you'll see her next? What football player she's having lunch with?

Dawson: You made your point. And you know what? You're right. This is exactly what I need. To get away from her. To get away from here. You know what, she's going to freak when I'm not there. It'll be good to let her wonder about me for awhile.

(Billy and Dawson drive off together)


(Joey is walking down the middle of the street to school. Warren Gerry is driving along in his jeep. He continues driving even as they talk)

Warren: Hey, Warren Gerry. I'm on my way to school. You need a lift?

Joey: Ah, no thanks. I'm waiting for Ted Bundy.

Warren: Well, Ted's a lucky man.

Joey: Ted Bundy is dead. He was a serial--

Warren: Killer. Yeah, I know. Executed in Florida, claimed p0rn made him do it. So come on, what do you say? I need the merit badge.

Joey: And which badge is that?

Warren: Community Service. I'm going to say you were 80 and blind.

Joey: Well, I'm sure you'll be an Eagle Scout by the end of the day.

Warren: Exactly. So what do you say? C'mon, help me out here.

(Joey relents and she gets in the car with him. They are soon driving to school together)

Warren: So is the air cold or are you just happy to see me?

Joey: You had to go and do it. You had to invoke my participation. Does it bother you that you singlehandly participated the stereotype?

Warren:Which answer means we can get friendly down in the sand together?

Joey: You know. if having s*x ruined it, and famine didn't even work, and kissing you would bring out a new AIDs enlightenment, then I'd

Warren: You know something? You talk a lot. So what? That's all you and your boyfriend(Joey looks at him) Dawson, and I use the term loosely, do? Talk?

Joey: You don't need to use the term at all, Warren. Dawson is not my boyfriend.

Warren: Well, the boy part I was reffering to.

(Joey looks at him strangely)

Warren: What? You ever seen the guy throw a baseball?

Joey: Believe it or not, there's no correlation between a slide and a sperm count.

Warren: How would you know? I mean, you're obviously a virgin.

Joey: How do you know that Dawson and I haven't been going at it for years? I mean, we could be imitating the Kuma Sutra for all you know.

Warren: Oh.

Joey: You know, I might be a virgin, but believe me, it's by choice.

(Joey and Warren continue driving to school)


(Dawson and Billy are in the hallway of the school. Dawson spots Pacey and starts to go over to him)

Dawson: You could have waited in the car.

Billy: Don't worry, I won't tell anyone we're together.

Pacey:(as Billy leaves them)Hey, what's he up to?

Dawson: We're cutting out of here. We're going up to a club in Providence.

Pacey: Finally! Dawson's evil twin. This is going to be a much anticipated pleasure.

(Pacey shuts his locker preparing to go with Dawson)

Dawson: What are you doing?

Pacey: You're cutting class to go to a nightclub, you're asking what I'm doing. I'm coming with you,man. I wouldn't miss this for the world.

Dawson: Billy.

Billy: Hey. Great so we're ready to go?

Dawson: Yeah. I'm going to go turn in my math homework and we're out of here.

(Dawson rushes off)

Pacey: Yeah. Walk on the wild side.

(Joey and Jen are walking towards their lockers with each other)

Jen: (to Joey)Listen, I heard something this morning that I thought you should. (Jen spots Billy by her locker)

Jen: At the risk of sounding redundant, what the hell are you doing here?

Billy: The boys just have to wrap up some things before we left. (to Joey)
Good morning.

Jen:What are you talking about?

Billy: I'm taking Pacey and your boy here on a little road trip. Funny, but in the midst of all the confusion, Dawson and I actually stumbled upon some common ground.

Jen: I don't think I like the sound of this, Billy. The last thing Dawson needs is to be pulled down by you.

Billy:I swear to you, Dawson was simply complaining how a guy can't seem to get any around here. So, I told him about this little place I know.

Joey: What kind of place?

Billy: Let's just say that women take cash and are remarkably friendly.

Joey: You're taking him to a whore house?

Billy:(spying Dawson) Oh, there's his holiness now. Well girls, gotta run. I see Saint Dawson is chumping at the bits to get some.

Joey: I think I'm going to go barf.

(They leave the girls)

Billy: Excuse me (pulling Pacey with him)

Pacey: We're not really going to go..

Billy:No. I was just kidding around.

Pacey: Oh?

Billy:Cheer up, stud.


(Jen and Joey are back at their lockers talking)

Joey: God.

Jen:You know, I've never really had a whole lot of faith in guys. But I. I thought Dawson was different.

Joey: Yeah, he's different. Unfortunately, he's just not as different as we thought.

Jen: No. Listen,ah, Joey, you know that football player Warren.

Joey: What?

Jen: You didn't sleep with him, did you?

Joey: Yeah, I had s*x with Warren Gerry. Right after I gave a sponge bath to the Navy pilots. Why would you even ask me that?

Jen: He's telling everyone you did.

(Jen and Joey are left standing in the hall as the bell rings signaling class)


(Dawson, Billy and Pacey are on the ferry to get to Rhode Island. Billy is down below the deck and Pacey and Dawson are talking by the rails.)

Billy: I'm going to go downstairs and get a drink.

Dawson: Alright. We'll be right here.

Pacey: Alright, one more time. Dawson,you're not the type of guy who does something bad just because it feels good.

Dawson:Oh, there's a oxymoron to live by.

Pacey: What? You want examples of this? Alright, what's the first thing, the very first thing you did after announcing this little roadtrip of ours? Remember? You know exactly what it was, don't you? You turned in your Math homework. Man, hey, those are not exactly the actions of a rebel. But there's nothing wrong with that. You just cared about what people think about you. You're that nice Leery boy, man. You like being the nice Leery boy.

Dawson: Oh yeah, and you're any different?

Pacey:Hey.Please. Just, you know, talk to the school board and take a glance at my permanent records. There's not comparision between you and I, Dawson. Everybody knows you're a regular Richie Cunningham. Billy, he's the Fonz.

Dawson: Congratulations. That makes you Potsie.



(The school lunchroom. Jen is sitting at a table with some people. Joey walks up to Warren who's sitting with his football friends)

Joey: We need to talk.

Warren: She needs to talk

(Warren gets up from his table and follows her to a corner of the room)

Joey: It wasn't very memorable, Warren.

Warren: What?

Joey: The s*x. In fact, I can't seem to remember it at all. Why don't you refresh my memory?

Warren: It was actually pretty good. Although you did eventually complain of fatigue.

Joey: What is going on in that twisted head of yours?

Warren: Look, this could be a win-win.

Joey: Explain.

Warren: Our reps. Okay, I've got one to live up to; you have one to live down.

Joey: What? And people thinking we're doing the deed is going to help my precious reputation?

Warren: Well, you know how in baseball, there are major and minor leagues?

Joey: Yeah.

Warren: Well, think of this as your call up to the show. No more shying in flyballs with washouts and wannabes.

Joey: You are such a b*st*rd. If you're the major leagues, well, then I hope I never get out of the A-ball.

Warren: (loud enough for everyone to hear)Hey look, I never said that I would be your boyfriend.

(Everyone looks at them. Joey storms off upset and Jen follows to make sure she's okay)


(Jen finds Joey hunched on the stairs in the hallway. Jen stands at the foot of the stairs leaning against the wall)

Jen: I never believed it.

Joey: You sure? That's why you asked.

Jen: I only asked because I was concerned, Joey. But I would have bet anything against it. Besides.

Joey: Besides what?

Jen: Nevermind. I guess I've always just pictured you with someone different. Someone. You know, just another lifeform.

Joey: Walking upright

Jen: Yeah. Opposible thumb. The whole bit. And maybe someone just a tad more sensitive than Warren.

Joey: Yeah, well, in my experiences, even the sensitive ones can let you down with the best of them.

Jen: You know, Joey,maybe Dawson is.

Joey: Look, I didn't say a thing about Dawson. And as far as Warren and his pathetic fantasies go,you know, what harm can a guy do? I mean,being called a football groupie could describe half the girls in this school.

Jen: Joey: I may be overstepping my boundaries here, but, ah, I think I know a way to get Warren back.

Joey: What? You know how to make a voodoo doll or something?

Jen: No, I'm serious. You know, guys like Warren have been getting away with this kind of stuff way too long. So, what do you say Joey? Are you interested in a little payback?

Joey: Alright, I'm listening.

(Dawson,Pacey and Billy are still on the ferry to Rhode Island)

Pacey: Alright. You know how when cartoon characters are trying to make a decision and the good angel pops up on one shoulder and you get the little devil on the other.

Dawson: Yeah.

Pacey:Well, I don't have a good angel, Dawson. I have you.

Dawson: I'm not interested in a gig. It doesn't work for me anymore.

Billy: I swear to God, you two sound like my parents. Hang tight. I'm going to go see what the deliverance time is.

(Billy leaves them)

Pacey: You know what? Need I remind you again of the ill- fated toilet papering of Coach Rollin's house?

Dawson: Here you go again equitating fun with youthful indescetions.

Pacey: Youthful indescrestions? What am I running for the Senate? Okay, granted, Dawson, for the high minded conversation, you're the man.Generally speaking, you're better at verbatim than actual verbs.

Dawson: Verbs?

Pacey:Yeah, action words. Rebel, House,Party.

Dawson:Okay, when did party become a action word?

Pacey: The year that you and I became into high school, Dawson.Okay, you're just going to have to trust me on this on. Sometimes, friendship means taking part in stupid stuff. No judgement. No questions asked. And no deconstruction of the event.

Dawson: You don't think I'm capable of that?

Pacey: Let's just say that I've seen no evidence to the contrary.

(Billy joins them)

Billy: I don't like those guys down there(they all look at the two guys down below)

Dawson: Why's that?

Billy: They're harassing everyone from the seagulls to the senior citizens. Well, it's really not my idea of fun.

Pacey: Well, what do you say that we give them some instant karma. Huh? Maybe uh, an iron on the tailpipe.

Billy: I was thinking maybe we could just slash their tires or something.

Dawson: Oh,that's imaginative.

Billy: You got a better idea?

Dawson: Yeah, I do.

Pacey: Oh yeah, I can't wait to see this.

Dawson: Good angel this, Pacey. You guys ever see American Grafitti?


(Joey is in a room copying something from a book when Abby walks by. Abby stops by and begins talking to Joey)

Abby: Well, well, well. If it isn't Mrs Warren Gerry.

Joey: So you know?

Abby: Well it is news and this is high school.

(Joey turns away from the copier, puts her hand through her hair and starts crying putting on a show for Abby)

Joey: He swore he wouldn't tell, Abby. He told me he loved me.

Abby: Hundred Thousand pyramid. Things guys say in the backseat.

Joey: Well you can add, you don't need protection to that list.

Abby: What?

Joey: I am *so* stupid.

Abby: Wait. What are you saying?

Joey: Well he started off, you know just calling all the time, he was so sweet, and one time he won me this stuffed frog at Coney Island and brought it back for me. The first time we made love, he cried.

Abby: Warren Gerry?

Joey: That was before the pee strip turned blue.

Abby: Blue? Oh my God. (Abby shuts the door) Do you know what that means?

Joey: Yes I do.

Abby: You're pregnant.

Joey: I know.

Abby: Does Warren know?

Joey: He told all his friends that it was my problem. And mine only.

Abby: Oh, that little puke. Sorry puke.

(Abby leaves and Joey, smiling, goes back to her copying of her book. Warren is later seen at his locker quickly trying to stuff his backpack with the baby stuff left inside.)


Billy, Dawson, and Pacey are still on the ferry. Dawson is going under the
"mean" people's car and hooking it up to Billy's tailgate. Dawson then gets into the car with Pacey and Billy and waits for the ferry to dock. The ferry docks and the boys take offnot only with themselves but with the bumper of the "mean" people's car.

Dawson: Now!Dude! Now!

Pacey and Dawson:W0oooooo Yeah. Woooooooooooo.


Dawson, Pacey and Billy are at the bar. Pacey is playing pool while Dawson and Billy are just standing around nearby

Billy: Alright, D man. You got your companion picked out for the evening yet?

Dawson: Wh. What? Already?

Billy: Yes.

Pacey: No, shoot some pool.

Billy: You've got to stay on top of these things. I bet Pacey isn't letting pool get in the way of business. Now,come on, take your pick. Billy starts pointing out girls to Dawson The blonde at the bar? Tanktop standing at the jukebox? Leather pants at phoosh ball?

(Pacey shoots the ball across the pool table)

Pacey: Rack em.

Billy: Alright, so what's the deal?
(Joey is in the library helping Mrs. Tringle and other students with College Night)

Mrs.Tringle: Alright everyone, can I have your attention, please? I just want to thank you all for helping me prepare for tonight's College Fair. And I'll see you all back here in a couple of hours.

(The students start leaving)

Mrs. Tringle: Joey? Can I have a word with you, please?

Joey: Sure.

(Joey follows Mrs. Tringle to one of the tables in the library)

Mrs. Tringle: Joey, in a school this size, it's difficult to keep any secrets.

Joey: Yeah, tell me about it.

Mrs. Tringle: And girls your age, often make mistakes.

Joey: Yeah, well, boys have been known to make mistakes themselves.

Mrs. Tringle: True. But the price they pay seems to be so much less. You're going to be going through some tough times ahead and I want to make sure you're prepared.

Joey: Excuse me?

Mrs. Tringle: The Family Living course here offers some valuable preparation.

Joey: Wait,isn't that the class where they make you carry around a sack of flour and pretend it's a baby?

Mrs. Tringle: That's only part of it. I know the task you face seems managable now but child rearing is filled with trials and tribulations.

Joey: You know what? Let me get back to you on that one.

(Joey gets up from the table and exits quickly)


(Dawson and Billy are standing at the bar)

Billy:Notice how Pacey had his eye on all the pretty girls.The man knows it's all about numbers.

Dawson: Numbers?

Billy: You don't waste time. You'll know in fifteen seconds whether a woman wants to spend the night with you or if the answer's no,you bail.

Dawson: You can't just

Billy:There's plenty more where that came from. But that's why you asked.You've got to seal, deal and pull the trigger.

Pacey: (seeing a pretty woman) Hello, wish me luck boys, Here I go.

( Pacey takes off from the bar in hopes of talking to the woman he saw)

Billy: So, who's it going to be, buddy? Time's a wasting and you don't got all night.

(Dawson looks around the bar and sees a older woman sitting down at a table wearing a shirt that reads "Film Threat". He goes over to her and taps her on the shoulder)

Dawson: Hi. My, my name is Dawson.

Nina:( turns and looks at him) Oh, you're Dawson. Wow, yeah, alright. Good to know. ( turns back around with her back to him)

( Pacey, meanwhile, has made his way over to an attractive young woman.)

Pacey:Hey there. I'm the drummer for Pearl Jam. You?

Young Woman: You're dumber than who?

(Pacey takes off back to the bar to stand next to Billy. Dawson still won't give up on the Older Woman he's just met.)

Dawson: I just want to let you know that I completely understand the obsertity of this moment. Look I, I, actually thought about sending over a drink, or saying something clever, what's your sign. I just figured that direct would be the best approach, ie, my name is Dawson. Not that my name of itself should impress you but in the hopes that you might respond and tell me your name.

Nina: Did it occur to you that maybe I'm just not interested?

Dawson: Ahh,no. Blind optimism is one of my faults.

Nina: One of your faults? You have many?

Dawson: Let's see, there's my reckless taste of disregard for danger, my tiredism romanticism, and of course, there's the way I keep on talking even when the person I'm trying to impress has lost all hope.

Nina: My name is Nina. And if you ask me where Pinta and Santa Maria are, I'll be so out of here.

( Pacey and Billy are at the bar talking about Pacey striking out.)

Billy:So you find that someone special?

Pacey: I did. She didn't. ( looks over and sees Dawson talking to Nina)
Damn, check out Dawson, that girl's fine.


(Dawson and Nina are sitting at a table talking)

Nina: There's lots of women in this place. Why me? Did you notice my inner light or was it something a little more offbase?

Dawson:( laughing) Actually it was your shirt.

Nina: Really? This thing? And not even any cleavage. So, what are you, Dawson, some sort of film buff?


(Jen is sitting in her kitchen picking through her dinner. Joey knocks on the window)

Jen: Ah, come on in.

(Joey goes around to the back door and enters)

Jen: So, how's my favorite mother to be?

Joey: Actually, not so good. Look, I just came over here to tell you that I think we should call this whole thing off.

Jen: What? Why?

Joey: This is too much. I mean, I don't like to be in the middle of everything. Mrs. Tingle wants me to sign up for that Mommy and Me class. Yeah and Sherman Williams, that Adventist, offered to marry me today. But that's nothing compared to what they are doing to Warren.

Jen: Oh, wait a minute. You and I both know that guy deserves everything that's coming to him.

Joey: I guess. I don't know.

Jen: Joey. That guy treated you with no respect. Alright. That hurts, I know.

Joey: Oh, so that's what this is all about.

Jen: What? What do you mean?

Joey: You don't care about me. You're just looking for some convenient revenge scenerio to dump all your recedual male anger. Is that what Dawson was for you? Just some patsy to take a fall for all the guys who treated you bad?

Jen: Don't Joey. Alright, don't. Don't turn this into a Dawson thing.

Joey: You know, the real question was why I listened to you in the first place. I mean, Dawson was probably the first decent guy you ever gone out with and look what you did. You drove him right into the arms of a prostitute.

Jen: Joey, you took that one way too far. You want to know the truth? Okay, the truth is that ever since Dawson and I broke up, you've been scared to death.

Joey: Oh, please.

Jen: You've been scared because now there's no more excuses. There's no one else to blame. And now, when Dawson treats you like good 'ole understanding Joey, just one of the guys Joey. I'm not going to be around for you to hate. And that is how he will treat you.

(Joey storms out of Jen's house)


(Dawson and Nina are talking in the bar)

Nina: (talking to Dawson about Speilberg) Talk about movie directors. I can't believe you're a Speilberg fan. That guy makes slick fairy tales.

Dawson : Movies by nature are escape flicks. If you want reality, look out the window.

Nina: Ah, that's a Loch Ness.

Dawson: His movies make like billion dollars at the box office.

Older Woman: I can't believe you're blaming mainstream popularity to artistic merit. Methodology, then shouldn't we be studying Ace Ventura

Dawson: You're in film school?

(Billy comes over to Dawson and Nina)

Billy: Ah, Dawson, I've got that chocolate milk you ordered at the bar, there. (Billy looks over at Nina) And what is your name, beautiful?

Nina: Nina.

Billy: You can call me Columbus.

Nina: You know what, Dawson. This place is really getting crowded. What do you say that we get out of here?

Dawson: Yeah.

(Nina and Dawson get up from their chairs and leave)


(Dawson and Nina are walking to her car)

Dawson: So, thank you for back there. Billy, he's kind of a jerk, sometimes. He thinks he's, you know. It's cold here, a little chilly. He's from New York. Billy is. He's not the one that brought me here. Film school.

Nina: Dawson, are we doing something you don't want to do? Because you're giving a pretty convincing Rain Man. Look, all we're doing is walking to my car.

Dawson: And after that?

Nina: Well after that, I'm going home. You're the first person who's treated me right. I'm not in the habit of being the sexual facilitator.

Dawson: It's not like that.

Nina: Come on, I saw your friend over your shoulder. They did everything but hold up score cards.

Dawson: Maybe, Maybe it is something like that. I just got dumped.

Nina: Now it snaps into place.

Dawson: My friends thought the best way to get over her was

Nina: To nail a stranger.

Dawson: Yeah

Nina: I guessed. It's not exactly hard.

Dawson: Sorry. But it did quit being about that. I spent an hour talking to you and I forgot all about it, about her. And for the first time in three days, I don't feel so bad.

Nina:So, umm, would it impress your friends if you didn't leave here until morning?

Dawson: I think they'd wreck a statue.

Nina: Hey, tell you what, why don't you come over. Fall asleep watching tv. I mean, you're a Speilberg fan. It's not like I'm in any danger, right? Hurry up, come on before I start listening to that little voice inside my head telling me I should card you.

Dawson: That girl I told you about? I still sort of want her back. Maybe I'm just being really crazy here. I just don't think it would be right.

Nina:I can't decide if I'm offended or if you just restored my faith in the male s*x.

( Dawson leans over and kisses Nina. Nina walks over to her car saying good-bye to Dawson)

Nina: Call me if she doesn't come to her senses.

(Nina gets in her car and drives off. Dawson walks back inside to his friends)


(The school's College Night. Jen is watching Joey who's on the other side of the room. Abby enters and goes up to Jen)

Abby: Imagining what she'll look like with a bowling ball in her uterus? Well, don't bother.

Jen: What do you mean? I thought she was.

Abby: No, she isn't. That girl's comic relief. Speaking of which, Warren Gerry was called into the nurse's office this afternoon for a lecture on contraception.

Jen: Well, good. He could use it.

Abby: You don't get it. Warren is the last person who needs that lecture. What you heard was a lie made up by a pathetic sophomore trying to land a popular boyfriend. Besides, Warren couldn't fertilize a garden.

Jen: What do you mean?

Abby: I had a chat with my friend Elyse today. She used to date Warren. She dated him for six months. She used to bake him spirit cookies before every game. She bought a four hundred dollar dress for a dance he failed to show up for.

Jen: Okay and your point is?

Abby:According to Elyse, Warren had one other significant failure as a boyfriend. Let's just say that he has a soft spot for the ladies in a very unfortunate location.

(Jen realizes what Abby is saying and goes over and tells Joey. They both start laughing)


(Pacey and Billy are in the bar drinking their drinks. Dawson enters and goes over to them)

Billy: Hey, man. What are you doing back here? You couldn't pull the trigger.

Dawson: I guess not.

Billy: You had her pratically begging for you. Listen, Dawson, for future reference, getting lucky comes down to a simple Beatles/Stones question.

Dawson: What?

Billy: Do you want to hold her hand or do you want to spend the night with her? Many women say they're looking for a Beatle, but trust me, they're looking for something a little more tangible.

Dawson: Ah, thanks.I'll keep that in mind.

Pacey: You know what guys, maybe we should get out of here.

Billy: Ah, you know, it's funny watching you with this girl. So it makes sense the way you blew it with Jenny.

Dawson: I don't get you. You came into town to break me and Jen up. Mission accomplished. Are you pouting now, because some things didn't go according to plan.

Billy: What?

Dawson:You don't think I don't know that you wanted me to get lucky tonight. So you can go whisper in Jen's ear, convince her that all men are dogs and assume that she'd seek your comfort.

Billy: For all that wisdom, you sure bit hard

Dawson: Hard enough to know that it's not my style. Man, it's yours. In fact, your style is pathetic. You know, if you really had Jen's best interest at heart, you'd stay away from her.

Billy: Do you know these are the exact same words her dad used when he told me he sent her away? Do you think it's funny that you sound like her dad? I do.

Dawson: It's better than sounding like her loser ex boyfriend.

Billy: Well, I'm sorry you feel that way, Dawson. And since you two cool guys probably wouldn't want a loser like me hanging around,I tell you what, have a fun time home boys.

(Billy takes out his wallet and puts some money on the table for them before he leaves)

Pacey: You think you could maybe have waited until we were back in Capeside to throw out that last comment, Dawson?

(Pacey and Dawson just sit in the bar thinking about what just happened with Billy)


(Joey is sitting on the steps near Warren's locker. He enters and comes over to her)

Joey: Hey, lover boy, spare a minute?

Warren: You know, it's been a really long day.

Joey: Oh, my heart bleeds for you.

Warren: Look, I know you're not the girl for me but ah, here's an idea. One way to get rid of a lie is to make it the truth. So maybe you and me

Joey: You know, I'm afraid I'd be getting myself worked up for something that is quite the anti-climax.

Warren: What?

Joey: You're a loser, Warren. And frankly, you've been banned.

Warren: So what is this? Some sort of sophomore threat?

Joey: No. Just a reminder that if one person says something, it's a rumor, two people, well, it's gospel. But you're probably not planning on dating anyone ever again, so..

Warren: Alright. What do you want?

Joey: Complete and utter denial.

Warren: Fine. Just so you know, the reason I picked you up this morning was, I thought it would be nice. You know, just.Saturday night, I have plans but they're breakable. What do you say? In public, official, groping optional, date?

Joey: Yeah. Sure, uh, yeah. Ah, just pick me up after my limbotomy.

(Joey leaves Warren standing in the hallway)

(Dawson and Pacey sitting on a bench in the rain)

Pacey: So, you wanted to get out of Capeside to get Jen off of your mind. Did it work?

Dawson: No. Although it did for awhile.

(Dawson and Pacey sit on the bench for a few seconds until Pacey speaks up)

Pacey: Alright, am I going to have to wait all night or are you going to tell me what happened outside the club with that woman.

Dawson: Nothing happened. I just walked her to her car. That's it. Nothing happened, alright? Trust me.

Pacey: So you're just wearing that lipstick for a fashion statement, right?

(Dawson blushes and Pacey laughs at Dawson's embarassment)


(Jen is sitting on the porch of her house reading a book by candlelight. Joey walks up to Jen's door and knocks. Jen looks up from her book and sees Joey)

Jen: Hey

Joey: Look, I'm having a ice cream anti-social. Want to join me?

Jen: Yeah. (puts her book down onto the table nearby) Yeah, sure.

(Joey walks over, carrying the bag of ice cream, to where Jen is sitting and sits down next to her)

Joey: The Warren Gerry information is profusing.

Jen: Rumor has it, that his public trash is already making the rounds.

Joey: Well, it is news and this is high school.

Jen: (noticing the flavor of the ice cream that Joey has brought over) Yumm, cookie dough. (pauses) So, so what do you think, Joey, is there any way we can keep Dawson from coming in between us?

Joey: Yeah..sure. He's only in love with one of us.

Jen: You're right. (pauses) must be, oh, a lot easier than being the object of his infactuation. (pauses)
Although I doubt after today, either of us will be vying for his affections.

Joey: I know what you mean. I mean, just picturing Dawson, just so male, it's just. I don't know. It's made me nausous all day. (pauses thinking about what she's just said) You think he's already?

Jen: (close-up of Jen staring at her ice cream, thinking) Ummm.


(Joey is sitting in the chair next to his bed when Dawson enters. He goes over to his closet, takes off his sweatshirt, and shoes)

Joey: So, you get everything you went there for?

Dawson: Oh yeah, non-stop s*x machine, Joey. You know me.

Dawson: (rubbing her head on the way to his bed) How was your day?

Joey: Ah, walked around Capeside, starting fullback, got knocked up.

Dawson: Oh, that's nice

Joey: So, was it all good clean fun, Dawson?

Dawson: (laying on his bed) Oh, not exactly.

Joey: Tell me about it.

Dawson: I will. There is *so much* I *want* to tell you, but I am *so* tired right now. I haven't slept in 24
hours.

Joey: You know what, I can wait. It's okay.

Dawson: Hey, for a while tonight, nothing reminded me of Jen. It was like looking at the world without blinded eyes.

(Dawson rolls over and starts to fall asleep.)

Joey: (to herself) Yeah, I can wait.

(Joey leans over and pulls the covers over Dawson for him and sits back in the chair watching him fall asleep)

(END)