02x03 - The Painted World

[bunniefuu]

Written by: Constance M. Burge

Transcribed by: Cintia Bueno

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[Scene: Bucklands. Prue's office. She's talking into a tape recorder. A client is there with her.]

Prue: Painting of a gothic castle, artist unknown, circa 1920s, oil on canvas, 20x28. Miss Franklin, where did you say you got this?

Miss Franklin: Oh, I... I inherited it. A few months ago but it's been in my family for generations.

Prue: The composition is so unusual. The artists used pure colors, straight from the tube and then varnished each layer over and ...

Miss Franklin: Uh, I'm sorry for interrupting. But do I really need to be here.

Prue: No, of course not. It's just that most people prefer to be at an appraisal, especially when they on selling the piece.

Miss Franklin: It's just, I'm kind of in a hurry.

Prue: Say no more. Just sign at the bottom and you're free to go.

Miss Franklin: Thankyou. (She signs it.) So, how long do you think it will take to sell it?

Prue: Well, I'll need to see ownership records before I can do anything.

Miss Franklin: I'll send you everything I have. So, is that all, then?

Prue: Uh, no, since you definitely want to sell the piece, I'll need to confirm its authenticity, its physical condition, so if you'll just sign at the bottom, that will let us go ahead and X-ray the piece.

Miss Franklin: Done. (She signs it.) Anything else?

Prue: Uh, well, yes, Miss Franklin, I would really like the time to research this. That way I can get you the best price.

Miss Franklin: Look, I... I appreciate your professionalism... I really do, but I'm not interested in getting the best price... I just want you to sell that painting, as soon as you can, right? Good night, Miss Halliwell.

(They shake hands.)

Prue: Good night.

(Miss Franklin leaves.)

[Scene: Piper is in the club and Phoebe is in Web San Francisco. Phoebe and Piper are on the phone.]

Phoebe: Piper it was an accident. It's not like I borrowed Prue's car, so I could drive it into a pole.

Piper: How bad's the damage?

Phoebe: Not bad but maybe expensive. Which is why I need a favor.

Piper: If you're calling to borrow money, I don't have any.

Phoebe: No, it's not about money. It's just I don't want you to tell Prue. She's been so supportive and I don't want to lose her trust again.

Piper: You mean, you haven't told her?

Phoebe: Well, not yet. But I-I have a plan.

Piper: Phoebe, you have to tell her. It's her car and you don't have money to fix it.

Phoebe: But I will have the money to fix it. I'm at this company called Web San Francisco, it's an interactive network on the internet, and I faxed them my résumé this morning, and they want to meet with me, tonight.

Piper: I've got to go, but Phoebe, I don't want to be in the middle of this, just tell her, okay?

Phoebe: If I don't get the job, I will tell her.

(They hang up the phone. Phoebe sees a room with a lot of people trying the job.)

Phoebe: Hello, I'm Phoebe Halliwell. I have an appointment. (the secretary hands her an aptitude test) thanks. All these people... they're here for the interview, too, aren't they?

Secretary: Well, you won't have any trouble with this if you figured that out. It's an aptitude test. You can finish it at home.

Phoebe: Great. Great.

(Phoebe sits down and hears two people talking.)

Applicant #1: So, you won a fellowship from the National Science Foundation.

Applicant #2 When I was at Harvard, yeah. How'd you know?

Applicant #1: Saw it on your résumé. I was cum laude also, except I was a Ford Foundation Scholar.

Applicant #2: So, then, you must have gone to... Stanford?

Secretary: Stanford? I went to Stanford.

Applicant #3: (to Phoebe) Intimidating, isn't it?

Phoebe: The Good Will Hunting or this aptitude test?

Applicant #3: Who cares about linear algebra or differential. And that test is a snap. I mean, in this day and age, who can't write in the HTML numeric languages, right?

Phoebe: Right. (laughing nervously) Yeah. That's for you. (Phoebe leaves.)

[Scene: Bucklands. Prue's office. Prue sees a light in the painting.]

Prue: What? (She gets a magnifying glass and looks closer at the painting. She sees a man and a fireball.) Ooh!

Opening Credits

[Scene: Halliwell manor. Kitchen.]

Prue: At first I just thought that it was a reflection off of something in the room but then when I moved closer, I saw a man... inside the painting... in the castle. Right, but the moment I saw him, he backed away from the window, and then there was this... strange glow that went past the window.. it was so... (She looks at Piper who is looking some papers.) Piper!

Piper: What?

Prue: We were talking?

Piper: I know. About a man in a painting.. listen to this one. "Hallway near club entrance too narrow"?

Prue: I thought that we had discussed your code violations.

Piper: Well, I keep finding more. The plumbing, the electrical, the heating, it... none of it is up code.

Prue: Stop. You're obsessing.

Piper: Well, it runs in the family.

Prue: I don't obsess. I think... intensely... anyway, I can't really help it. I mean, we've seen so many bizarre things, why not a man in a painting.

Piper: Well, at least he's safe from Building Inspector. I can't imagine that castle's up to code.

Phoebe: I'm sorry but I couldn't find anything in the Book of Shadows about people who may be trapped inside painting. I looked everywhere.

Piper: Hey, You were asleep by the time I got home. How did your interview do?

Phoebe: It went fine. Uh, actually, it's still going. I have to finish this take-home aptitude test which I actually think I will start right now. So I will see you guys later.

(Piper gives her "the look".)

Prue: Uh, Phoebe?

Phoebe: What?

Prue: Aren't you forgetting something? My car keys?

Phoebe: They'd be with your car... which is at the body shop having an estimate.

Prue: An estimate?

(Piper pretends to be reading her code violations.)

Phoebe: Yeah, uh, I... bumped... No, actually I backed your car into a pole last night.

Prue: (smiling) A pole? You hit a pole?

Phoebe: Yeah, you don't even have to say it. I know what you're thinking. How could I be so irresponsible? How could I be so stupid?

Prue: Okay, irresponsible, yes. Stupid, no way. Where's that coming from?

Phoebe: It's coming from the fact that I'm the youngest sister, the one who always makes mistakes... (Prue looks at Piper) The one who always causes problems. I mean, if anybody were gonna back your car into a pole and not tell you right away, it'd be me, right?

(Prue looks at her, tenderly.)

Piper: I think I'll just be going now.

Phoebe: See? Even the middle sister. The one that's supposed to stay neutral when it comes to family checks out on this one.

Piper: Yes, you're right. You're on your own.

Prue: Well, leave me out of it, too. I don't want to argue with you. I just want to find a cab.

Phoebe: Well, whatever it costs, I will pay for the damages... and whatever the cab costs, I will pay for that too.

(Phoebe leaves.)

Prue: (laughing) Uh, what just happened here?

Piper: I don't know anything about anything.

Prue: Piper! Just forget about the car. What about the man in the painting?

Piper: Well, unless he's real and screaming for help, forget about him. We shouldn't go looking for trouble. We have enough around here. I'm going next door.

[Cut to outside Dan's house. Piper picks up his paper off the stairs. Dan opens the door before she can knock.]

Piper: Dan!

Dan: Good Morning!

Piper: I'm sorry to bother you.

Dan: No, you're not bothering me. Unless you refuse to hand over my paper.

(She hands it to him.)

Piper: Oh, uh, all yours.

Dan: Thanks. Uh, you wanna... come in?

Piper: No, no really, I just stopped by to ask a quick favour. My club received a visit from a D.B.I. last night.

Dan: And you've got code violations.

Piper: I have the w*r and peace of code violations.

(Piper hands him the code violations.)

Dan: And you were thinking, what? Neighbor Dan, he's in construction, maybe he could help, huh?

Piper: Of course I'll pay you... something.

Jenny: Uncle D., I'm late. Hey, Piper.

Piper: Hi Jenny.

Jenny: See you later, Uncle Dan. And don't forget your promise.

(Jenny leaves.)

Dan: Ok, then, um, I'll tell you what I can do. I'll check out the code violations. See how serious they really are. If you'll help me with the promise I made Jenny.

Piper: Deal. Wait... Uh, what's the promise?

Dan: She needs help with a paper. It's for her Bio class, you know, something about within the human reproductive system...

Piper: Oh, ha... you mean, Sex...

Dan: It's just way to awkward for me to talk to my niece about.

Piper: Yeah, ha... sure, not to worry. I have plenty of experience.

Dan: Really... with with Sex?

Piper: No... I mean, uh... talking about it. (Dan laughs. Smiling nervous.) Yeah!

[Scene: Bucklands.]

Miss Franklin: So, uh, was there a problem with any of the ownership records that I sent over?

Prue: No, uh... everything's in order.

Miss Franklin: Then I'm not sure why you wanted meet with me.

Prue: Look. Ms. Franklin, I know that you don't really want to be here, so I'll be perfectly honest. There's something... strange about that painting

Miss Franklin: Have you seen him?

Prue: Him?

Miss Franklin: That's how it all starts, you know?

Prue: What do you mean?

Miss Franklin: At first, you see him. The man inside the painting. At least, you think you see him. But he just... he disappears so fast. And you start to think about it. But it does't make any sense. I mean, how could a man be inside a painting? Then you see him again. This time longer. And now you're sure.

Prue: So, you think that the painting is haunted by a ghost?

Miss Franklin: Oh, no no. I think he's definitely alive. I think he's trapped inside.

Prue: Do you know who he is?

Miss Franklin: No, I have no idea. Nobody does. Look, all I know is if I don't get rid of that painting, I'm gonna end up just like everybody else in my family who's ever owned it,. I'm gonna be completely insane.

Prue: Ms. Franklin.

Miss Franklin: No, you've only seen the beginning, Ms. Halliwell. Just trust me when I tell you. It's only gonna get worse.

(She leaves.)

[Scene: Phoebe's bedroom. Phoebe is writing a spell.]

Phoebe: "Spirits... send... the.. words... from all..."

(Piper knocks the door)

Piper: It's me. Can I come in?

Phoebe: Uh, Piper, I really just wanna be alone right now.

Piper: I won't stay long, I promise.

Phoebe: All right, just give me a sec. (she hides the Book of Shadows) ok, you can come in now?

(Piper opens the door)

Piper: I just wanted to tell you, uh... the body shop called

Phoebe: Yeah, I know, I heard the message. 1200 bucks

Piper: Did you tell Prue?

Phoebe: I didn't have to. She already knew. She called the body shop herself. That's why I have got to get this job, Piper. It's the only way I can pay for the damages. It's the only way that I can make things right.

Piper: All the more reason you should've told her.

Phoebe: (upset) Okay, well. Maybe a smarter person would have figured that out. Than again a smart person wouldn't of backed a car into a pole. A smart person would have realized that it was a $1200 pole. That's because smart people don't do stupid things, only stupid people do.

Piper: Phoebe, I didn't mean to upset you.

Phoebe: I know. Maybe we should just talk later.

Piper: Ok. You're sure you're gonna be ok?

Phoebe: Yeah, why?

Piper: Phoebe, I know you think getting this job is the answer, but please just don't do anything...

Phoebe: What? Stupid?

Piper: No... just don't do anything I wouldn't do.

Phoebe: Don't worry. I won't. (Piper leaves the room) You would never cast a smart spell. (Reading quick the spell) 24 hours, from 7 to 7, I will understand... all meaning... from here... to heaven. (casting the spell) "Spirits, send the words from all across the land. Allow me to absorb them through the touch of either hand. For 24 hours, from 7 to 7, I will understand all meaning of the words, from here to heaven... Oh, and P.S. there will be no personal gain. (Phoebe put a dictionary on the bed and starts to absorb the words.) "Abaca: Stronger fiber obtained from a banana leaf. Zygote: A cell formed by the union of two gametes"... Cool!

[Scene: Bucklands.]

Prue: Hey, Joe. That was fast.

Joe: No line at the X-Ray machine.

Prue: So, did the X-Ray confirm its authenticity?

Joe: It did a lot more than that. Check out the X-Ray. It's got definitive underwriting on the canvas.

Prue: It has a pentimento?

Joe: Yeah, I couldn't believe it either. But you can see it on the X-Ray. The text is in Latin. I've never seen anything like it before.

Prue: "Absolvo Amitto Amplus Brevis" to free what is lost say these words.

Joe: Wow... You speak Latin?

Prue: Yes. Good night, Joe.

Joe: Okay, well, uh, why don't I just return the painting to the vault... say tomorrow?

Prue: Good idea.

Joe: Okay.

(Joe leaves. Prue moves closer to the painting and sees the word 'HELP' written on a window.)

Prue: HELP... okay... "SEMPER MEA" Mine forever. (Prue cast the whole spell.) "Absolvo Amitto Amplus Brevis Semper Mea" (She gets sucked into the painting.) Oh, no. Oh!

[Cut to inside the castle. Prue falls on the floor.]

Commercial Break

[Scene: Castle.]

Prue: Who's there?

(A big fireball flies across the room. Prue ducks.)

Malcolm: Quick! Follow me!

Prue: What?

Malcolm: This way. Ladies first. I see you read Latin too.

Prue: What has happened? Where am I?

Malcolm: Virden Castle.

Prue: Where is that?

Malcolm: Inside the painting

Prue: I'm trapped inside the painting?

Malcolm: Yes and if you don't get to that bookcase, you're dead.

Prue: Who are you?

Malcolm: My name's Malcolm and you were supposed to help me, not join me. Who are you, anyway?

Prue: Oh, my name's Prue and I was helping you. You were supposed to come out.

Malcolm: Great. Now we're both trapped. Hurry.

(They run to the bookcase. A fireball heads for them but Prue moves it with her powers.)

Malcolm: What the hell? What are you? How'd you do that?

Prue: Oh, never mind. We're gonna get k*lled. Will you hurry up?

(Malcolm opens the bookcase. They go inside.)

[Scene: Halliwell manor. Kitchen. It's morning.]

Piper: Hi Phoebe. You're up early. What's up?

Phoebe: Oh, the Dow Jones, housing prices and space shuttle discovery.

Piper: Huh?

Phoebe: Read the paper.

Piper: Oh. Uh, have you seen Prue this morning?

Phoebe: Not yet. Oh, uh, Dan just called. Said he'd meet you at the club at noon.

Piper: Okay, uh, did you hear her come in last night?

Phoebe: Nope.

Piper: This is really... strange. Cat hasn't been fed. No coffee's been made. And Prue definitely didn't pack a lunch.

Phoebe: Maybe she's still asleep.

Piper: No, I checked her room. Her bed hasn't been slept in.

Phoebe: Maybe she didn't come home from the office last night.

(Piper is on the phone)

Piper: No, it's her voice mail. What if Prue's right about the painting? What if something's happened?

Phoebe: First off, 63% of all adults believed to be missing show up within 24 hours. An auto accident is unlikey 1.2% even less likely for work related accident. Factor in her good health, a life expectancy of 78.5 years, add her defensive powers of telekinesis, and we are looking at the odds of... less than 4.1%... No, actually make less than 3.3%. I forgot that the Book of Shadows had zip on evil artwork

Piper: What's wrong with you?

Phoebe: Nothing

Piper: No, you're like "ask rainman.com". You haven't been in the Book of Shadows, have you?

Phoebe: No, why would I do that?

Piper: All right, I don't have time for this. Uh, I'm gonna go to Bucklands.

Phoebe: What about Dan? You're supposed to meet him at the club

Piper: Damn it.

Phoebe: Do you like him? Is that the vibe that I'm getting right now?

Piper: No. Don't be ridiculous.

Phoebe: Mmm.

Piper: Just do me a favor and go in my place. And then you can give me all the details later.

Phoebe: Like what he was wearing?

(Piper is leaving.)

Piper: No!

[Scene: Castle. In the bookcase.]

Prue: You can't just stand there another 12 hours and not let me help you. You're hurt.

Malcolm: Stay where you are. I hate witches.

Prue: How many times do I have to tell you that I'm a good witch? Although, if you make me say that again, I just may hurt you. Look, I was trying to save you.

Malcolm: Well, you did a great job.

Prue: The last thing that I expected was to get stuck here.

Malcolm: So I guess your powers can't get us out then, huh?

Prue: No. I can't just lift us from another world. So, if we're gonna get out we're gonna have to work together. Just let me help you. I won't turn you into a toad. I promise. Thank you. May I? (She looks at his wound.) Doesn't look too bad. At least the bleeding is...

Malcolm: Ouch!

Prue: So, why do you hate witches so much.

Malcolm: It's how I got trapped in here. The artist that painted this was a witch. She was my girlfriend.

Prue: You dated a witch?

Malcolm: What, you've never dated a mortal?

Prue: Huh, I wonder...

Malcolm: Ow!

Prue: Ah, sorry. Go on!

Malcolm: Fine. Nell and I... we broke up. She wrote a curse in Latin.

Prue: To free what is lost.

Malcolm: Right. And she painted the castle over it, made sure I got the painting. It was the only way she could trick me and trap me inside. It worked.

Prue: So how did you see the underwriting?

Malcolm: Same way as you, probably?

Prue: X-Ray... you must have really of pissed Nell off.

Malcolm: Well, that would explain why I haven't aged since I got here and the fireballs.

Prue: How long have you been running from them?

Malcolm: What year is it?

Prue: 1999.

Malcolm: It's been 70 years.

Prue: Oh, wait a second. You've been stuck here trying to get help for 70 years.

Malcolm: It's not the typical life of an art historian, isn't it?

Prue: Well, I won't be here that long. I mean, I have 2 sisters and we all have powers. If anybody can find a way out, it's us.

[Scene: P3. Phoebe is there with Dan.]

Phoebe: Dan, sorry to keep you waiting

Dan: I didn't realize you were late.

Phoebe: Oh, 11 minutes, 23.4 seconds to be exact. Those the code violations?

Dan: That and the D.B.I.s book of minimum safety requirements.

Phoebe: Ok, then we're all set. I think you'll find me pretty knowledgeable about all areas of construction.

Dan: What about Piper?

Phoebe: Oh, something came up. She can't be here. Sorry buddy.

Dan: Oh.

Commercial Break

[Scene: Bucklands. Piper walks in Prue's office.]

Piper: Prue? (She sees Prue's purse and then the X-ray.) Absolvo Amitto Amplus Brevis.

(Joe enters.)

Joe: Oh, hey Piper. Joe Lyons. We met at a wine auction a few months ago.

Piper: Oh...

Joe: Uh, Prue around?

Piper: Uh, she's... she's somewhere.

Joe: Ah, I won't get in your way. I just need to pick up the painting

Piper: Oh, forgive me, Joe.

Joe: For what?

(She freezes him.)

Piper: For that.

[Cut to the castle.]

Malcolm: That's your plan? Are you outta your mind?

Prue: My sisters are gonna realize I'm missing, soon. I have to let them know where I am and warn them.

Malcolm: It's too dangerous. You'll die.

Prue: I don't have any another choice. Alright, my sisters could make the same mistake I did and get suck into the painting. Ok, corner, now.

Malcolm: And how will seeing your name...

Prue: And the name Nell..

Malcolm: Yes, written on a window, prevent that from happening?

Prue: Ok, because my sisters will think that it's a clue, so they'll look up the name Nell in our Book of Shadows and hopefully they'll find a solution. Are you ready? Go! Ok, tell me how you write HELP on the window without getting creamed by the fireball

Malcolm: You mean you don't know how you're gonna do it?

Prue: You're the expert

Malcolm: Are you crazy? It took me years to get those messages written on the window. I've got the scars to prove it. What about your powers?

Prue: All right, fine. I'll deflect the fireballs. You write the names

Malcolm: Be careful near the window

Prue: Why? What's wrong with the window? (We see Piper carrying the painting and the castle starts to shake.) Oh, okay... what's happening?

Malcolm: The painting. It's being moved. And it's moving fast. Get back to the chamber.

Prue: No way. I'm going to that window.

Malcolm: It's too dangerous. We gotta to get out of here.

[Cut to Piper. She's carrying the painting to the elevator.]

Piper: Hold the elevator, please.

[Cut to the castle. Prue and Malcolm hide under a table.]

Prue: I really just wanted to get my name and Nell's on that window.

Malcolm: And you can, as soon as the painting stops moving. Just stay low.

(Malcolm stares at her.)

Prue: What?

Malcolm: Nothing. I was... never mind.

Prue: No, what?

Malcolm: I always hoped someone would get my SOS. I just never thought it would be a woman.

Prue: What, a woman can't rescue a man?

Malcolm: I'm still waiting.

Prue: Yeah, well, keep waiting, pal. Bookcase!

(They run into the bookcase.)

[Scene: Manor. Phoebe is watching TV and is on the phone.]

Phoebe: Hello, this is Phoebe Halliwell. I'd like to set up an appointment to return my aptitude test. (Piper comes in.) By 5 tomorrow? Great. Bye (to Piper) Oh, Piper. Good news. I spoke Dan. He will have your estimate ready by tomorrow.

Piper: We got bigger problems than code violations

Phoebe: Prue wasn't at Bucklands?

Piper: No, but it was clearly the last place she was before she disappeared. I take it you haven't heard from her?

Phoebe: Not a word. Okay, now I'm worried.

Piper: Check out this X-Ray. I found at her office. I think it may have something to do with her disappearing. (Phoebe is looking at the TV Show) We don't have a lot of time, either. It won't be long before everyone at Bucklands realizes that she's gone and the painting is gone.

Phoebe: Oh, the final match.

Tv Host: Primarily concerned with blood and blood-forming organs.

Phoebe: Hematology.

Guy: Hematology

Tv Host: Yes. Oona Chaplin, the wife of Charles Chaplin, was the daughter of what famous?

Phoebe: Eugene O'Neil.

Tv Host: American playwright.

Guy: O'Neil.

Tv Host: What country now occupies the Peninsula once known as Asia Minor?

Phoebe: Turkey.

Guy: Uh... Turkey.

(Piper turns the TV off.)

Piper: How is that you know all the answers?

Phoebe: What? I could know about medicine, Americans playwrights and that Asia Minor is now called Turkey.

Piper: No, you couldn't... you have cast a spell, haven't you?

Phoebe: I wanted to be able to get Prue's car fixed and this job was the only way that I could do it.

Piper: Phoebe, what kind of spell?

Phoebe: All I had to do was ace an aptitude test which, by the way, I'm sure I have.

Piper: Phoebe?

Phoebe: Okay. It's a smart spell. And before you freak out, it's out temporary. It'll be over by 7 o'clock tonight.

Piper: It doesn't matter when it ends. We're not allowed to cast personal gain spells. You know that.

Phoebe: Yeah. I do know that. But it's not. I even put that in myself. "no personal gain".

Piper: There will be consequences. There always are.

Phoebe: I don't care. It's worth it. Piper you were not at that job interview surrounded by those college graduates. You don't know how good it feels to be really smart. Smart people are respected, taken seriously. And really smart women? Forget about it! Then again, you probably do know what I'm talking about. You have a 4-years degree.

Piper: So, what? Phoebe, I will never have the kind of smarts you have no matters what I do. But you... you can go back to collage. Say you did get this job. What would happen to it the moment your smart spell ended?

Phoebe: I thought I'd worry about that later.

(Phoebe's going upstairs.)

Piper: Wait. What does this mean? "Absolvo Amitto Amplus Brevis Semper Mea". (She starts to get sucked into the painting.) Phoebe. Help!

Phoebe: Piper, no!

Piper: Phoebeeeee.

Phoebe: Piper?

[Cut to the castle.]

Piper: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

(A fireball flies past her.)

Prue: Piper?

Piper: What the hell is happening? Where are we?

Prue: All right, hurry. Just get to the bookcase fast.

Piper: Whahhhhhhh!

Prue: Watch out.

Piper: Uhh! (Piper freezes a fireball) Whoa! Whoa! Wow!

(They run into the bookcase)

Malcolm: Don't tell me she's the sister witch who was gonna save us.

Commercial Break

[Scene: In the castle.]

Piper: I don't want to live forever. I don't want to spend the rest of my time trapped in a painting, hanging on some wall, wearing a broken shoe.

Prue: Well, neither do I but there is a solution.

Piper: You call that a solution? Braving endless fireballs to get a message to Phoebe?

Prue: Okay, so, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that the situation is pretty bad.

Piper: No. But it may just take a rocket scientist to get us out of here. Phoebe.

Malcolm: Another witch sister?

Piper: Not any witch. A super witch. She's a genius.

Prue: Piper, I don't really think that you're helping the situation.

Piper: No, I mean it. She's a walking brain trust. An Einstein with cleavage. She cast a spell on herself, Prue. A smart spell.

Prue: What?

Malcolm: Can she save us?

Piper: Forget the details, Prue. Just know that if anybody can get us out of here, it's Phoebe. We need to get back to that living room, get Nell's name on the window...

Prue: Piper, wait.

Piper: No no no no no. We can't wait. It's only temporary. The spell ends at 7 tonight.

Prue: Ooh!

[Scene: Manor. 6:15pm. Phoebe carry's the Book of Shadows downstairs.]

Phoebe: Come on. Come on. There's got to be something. (Doorbell rings) Who is it?

Jenny: It's Jenny.

Phoebe: Uh ... unless it's a huge 911, sweetie, you're gonna have to come back later.

(Doorbell rings again and Phoebe hides the book.)

[Scene: Castle.]

Piper: If we get out of here alive, you own me a new pair of shoes.

Prue: If we get out of here alive, I'll buy you a purse to match. Piper, left.

(Piper freezes a fireball.)

Piper: Forget the shoes. The next time you get a supernatural SOS.

Prue: I'll take your advice and just ignore it.

Malcolm: Be careful near the window.

Prue: What's wrong with the window?

(Some blades appear when Piper get closer the window.)

Piper: Wha! Whaaa! Blades!

Prue: Are you okay?

Piper: Uh, for now. But I can't reach the window because if I lean forward, I'm sliced and diced.

(Prue used her power to let Piper reaches the window)

Prue: Okay, Piper. Hurry! (Piper is writing NELL on the window.) Don't forget to write her name backwards. So Phoebe can read from outside. Come on.

(Prue moves a frozen fireball in front of the window.)

Piper: Good thing she had a short name. (They run into the bookcase.) Let's go, let's go, let's go.

[Cut to the manor.]

Phoebe: The human reproductive system? Wait, and your uncle wanted Piper to help you out with this?

Jenny: Yeah, but I was too embarrassed to tell him I already know about sex. So I figure we can just hang out and watch some television. (Jenny sees the light on the painting.) Hey, what's that?

Phoebe: Uh, Jenny, will you go in there and grab me a pen, please? (She does so. Phoebe gets a magnifying glass and looks at the painting.) Nell?

(Jenny comes back in.)

Jenny: Is something wrong?

Phoebe: Uh, I'm not sure (writing something) okay. The 23 chromosomes that make up the human genome system within the cell ... (Jenny looks at her.) It's too complicated. (She starts to draw something.) Okey-Dokey. You're all set.

Jenny: But ...

Phoebe: Bye Jenny. (Jenny leaves. Phoebe holds her hands above the book and the pages turn by themselves.) Nell, Nell, find me Nell. Whoa! I am one super smart witch. Okay, what do we have here? Latin. "In the 1920s a witch named Nell tricked a powerful warlock into a painting with a hidden spell that only his power of X-Ray vision could see." Okay, I'm getting tired of talking to myself. How do I get my sisters out? Oh! "VERVA OMNES LIBERANT". Words free us all. "These words will free anyone trapped inside the painting" okay. But how do I get the words inside without getting trapped inside the painting MYSELF?

(She sees kit.)

Kit: Meow.

Phoebe: No, I couldn't.

[Cut to the castle.]

Prue: So, maybe we should take shifts waiting for Phoebe outside the bookcase. I mean, we've been pretty safe there so far.

Malcolm: I'll take the first shift.

Prue: I had a feeling you would.

(Malcolm leaves the bookcase)

Piper: What? What is it? What's wrong?

Prue: I've been thinking about that witch who cursed Malcolm into the painting. It takes a lot of time and a high level of magic to create this world. Seems like an awfully big spell just to get revenge over a bad breakup.

Piper: I agree.

Prue: And it was almost impossible for us, the Charmed Ones no less, to get that message on the window. Yet Malcolm, an art historian with absolutely no powers, who was able to escape fireballs and those blades, to get his message on the window. I mean, I don't know Piper. It's just... something weird about all of this.

(They hear a noise and a cat.)

Malcolm: Here kitty kitty. (Kit hisses at him.) Here kitty kitty. What do we have here?

(He sees the message on Kit's collar.)

Piper: It is Kit.

Prue: What is she doing here?

Piper: Prue, look.

Malcolm: "VERVA OMNES"...

Prue: Piper, freeze him.

(She tries to freeze him but he blinks before she could.)

Malcolm: You're too late. But you were right. Your sister Phoebe's one smart witch. Blinking allow me to be one place, one moment, and another the next

Prue: Piper, look out

(Piper freezes a fireball.)

Malcolm: "LIBERANT"

(He disappears)

Prue: I thought he was an innocent. I thought he needed help.

Piper: I'm not talking to you... forever

[Cut to the manor. Malcolm appears in living room.]

Malcolm: Thanks for freeing me, witch. 70 years is a long time

Phoebe: 70 years? You're a warlock, aren't you?

Malcolm: Your sisters were right. You are a smart witch.

Phoebe: Where are they?

Malcolm: With the cat. The one with no collar. That was interesting... that was smart. Too smart for your own good.

Phoebe: So, that woman who brought Prue the painting... she's a warlock too?

Malcolm: Jane's my lover. She's been trying to get me out for years. She needed to find the Charmed Ones, you. It took her 70 years to do that.

Phoebe: We haven't been around that long.

(she kicks him)

Phoebe: I read "jeet-kune-do" manual earlier today. I think that makes me a black belt. (he blinks and appears behind her... she kicks him again) Actually, make that a seventh degree black belt. I'm a master.

Malcolm: Not for long. You're not. We'll see how powerful you are, how smart you are when your spell ends at 7.

Phoebe: How do you know about that?

Malcolm: Tick Tock, Phoebe. Tick Tock.

(He blinks and appears outside the house. Then meets Jane.)

Jane or Miss Franklin: Malcolm.

Malcolm: Jane.

(They kiss.)

Jane: I thought I'd never seen you again. Come on. Let's get out of here.

Malcolm: Not yet. Not yet. I have a little present for you.

Jane: Oh, you do? Where is it?

Malcolm: It's inside the house... Something you've always wanted.

Jane: And what would that be?

Malcolm: The power of Premonition.

Jane: And what would you get?

Malcolm: Revenge... and 2 more powers.

Commercial Break

[Scene: Castle.]

Prue: Even if Phoebe is alive, she may not be for long.

Phoebe: Maybe she can figure out a way to save herself before he finds her.

Prue: Yeah, well, she better do it quick, it's almost 7. Although if anybody can do it, Phoebe can.

Piper: Yeah, even without the smart spell. I mean, putting that message on Kit's collar, that's very Phoebe. I would've never thought of it.

Prue: Neither would I. It was a great plan.

Piper: If we get out of here, I'm gonna buy here a new pair of shoes.

Prue: I'll buy her a purse to match.

[Cut to the manor.]

Phoebe: The spell... 3 words in Latin... the question is... which 3?

(7 o'clock)

Phoebe: Oh, no. (She holds her hands above the book but the pages won't flip.) Come on come on... they're on the tip of my tongue. Uh ... "Verve omnes" something... "Verve omnes... liber... liber... liberace!" No, it can't be liberace ... (She finds the page.) Oh, oh no. It's in Latin... the spell is over and I don't understand Latin anymore.

(Malcolm blinks inside the house.)

Malcolm: I told you I'd be back.

(He opens the door for Jane.)

Jane: Hello, Phoebe. Say goodbye to your family.

(Jane strikes a match and sets the painting on fire.)

Phoebe: No! ABSOLVO AMITTO AMPLUS BREVIS.

Malcolm: The curse.

Phoebe: SEMPER ME.

(The three of them get sucked into the painting.)

[Castle.]

Piper: The house is on fire?

Prue: Not the house, the painting... it's gotta be Malcolm's doing. He must be at the Manor

(Phoebe appears.)

Piper: Phoebe, you're alive!

Phoebe: Yeah. Let's keep it that way.

(Malcolm and Jane appears.)

Prue: Malcolm ... and Jane.

Phoebe: She's a warlock.

Malcolm: Stupid witch. Now you and your sisters are gonna end up burning to death.

Phoebe: Looking for this? (about the collar) Freeze them.

(Piper freezes them.)

Phoebe: Where's Kit?

Prue: Uh ...

Piper: There she is. There she is.

Prue: I can't believe we almost forgot her.

Phoebe: VERVE OMNES LIBERANT.

Commercial Break

[Scene: Manor. They're putting out the fire with the fire extinguisher.]

Prue: You know, I didn't want them to die. I just wanted them trapped in that house forever.

Phoebe: Bright side? You won't have to worry about any complaints from the owner of the painting.

Piper: And you'll never have to worry about anyone else getting a supernatural mayday from it.

Phoebe:: Yeah, well, thanks for getting ours, Phoebe.

(They look at each other.)

Piper: Hey, how did you get the collar from Malcolm?

Phoebe: Oh, I used the very complex, very different kind of smarts.

Prue: You picked his pocket.

Phoebe: I picked his pocket.

Piper: Phoebe!

Phoebe: What, he was a warlock... smartest thing I've ever done.

[Scene: P3.]

Piper: "A new heating and cooling system, retrofitting, imported prestressed I-Beams, architectural flooring". Your estimate requires a $¼ million and a crew of 75. I gotta tell you, Dan. I'm not feeling real guilty about not helping Jenny with that paper.

Dan: Well, actually, those were Phoebe's suggestions.

Piper: Phoebe?! Hah! Can you fix it cheap and fix it quick?

Dan: In a couple of days, sure.

Piper: Great. You're hired. You can take that with you (about the estimate)

(we see Phoebe and Prue talking... Dan comes there)

Dan: Hey Prue.

Prue: Hi.

Dan: Phoebe...

Phoebe: Hey.

Dan: You got a minute?

Phoebe: Uh, yeah!. Is it about Piper?

Dan: No, it's actually about Jenny's paper

Phoebe: You know, I wasn't really myself that day. Is there a problem?

(Dan hands Phoebe the paper.)

Dan: No, it's not due till Friday. But I really appreciate your help...I think.

Phoebe: Uh... Yeah, okay.

(She hides the paper)

Dan: I'd really appreciate if Jenny could do her own work in her handwriting using her own smarts... if you know what I mean.

Phoebe: I certainly do! (He laughs and leaves.) All right... (to Prue) You don't wanna know.

Prue: Uh huh!

Phoebe: You know, this whole smart spell thing, it really just made me realize that there's a lot of cool information out there.

Prue: I agree.

Phoebe: And who knows? Maybe I'll go back to college, take some night classes. I'm a smart girl, I'll figure it out.

Prue: Yes, you will. Just don't lose that common sense. We may need it to save the day again.

(Piper comes in.)

Piper: What are we talking about?

Phoebe: Right now, the job that I will not be getting.

(She rips up the aptitude test.)

Piper: Smart move, Pheebs. Now, open your present.

Phoebe: Oh! Wait... you guys got me shoes and a purse?

Prue: Very smart looking, wouldn't say, Piper?

Piper: Pure genius, Prue.

Phoebe: Enough with that already.

(Prue grabs Jenny's paper.)

Prue: Okay, you wanna explain this?

Phoebe: Okay.. Well, that's Piper

Prue: Ooh, sure!

Phoebe: And that's Dan.

Prue: I see!

Piper: That's not funny.

End