08x08 - Battle of the Hexes



PIPER: (v.o.) Yeah, no. I-I-I realize we haven't had a band in a couple of

months, ...


(Piper is on the phone in the kitchen while Leo takes practice swings with the

golf club.)

PIPER: (to phone) ... but haven't you read the papers? I've been helping

Homeland ...

(The line disconnects. There's a dial tone. Piper pulls the phone away from

her ear.)

PIPER: ... Security. (She hangs up.) (mutters) It even sounds ridiculous to


(Piper puts the phone down and turns around. Leo continues to take practice

swings with the golf club.)

PIPER: I don't get it. It's, you know, two lousy months, and suddenly I'm ice


LEO: Bands will be back. P-3's still the hottest club in town.

PIPER: Oh, yeah? When?

(Piper ducks as Leo swings.)

PIPER: Hey. Watch it.

LEO: Sorry. Listen, do you want me to talk to Smitty? I'm playing golf with

him this afternoon.

PIPER: No. I don't like that guy. He's slimy.

LEO: Yeah, but he's got connections. He got you The Donnas.

PIPER: Fine. Let him win.

(Smiling, Leo leans forward and kisses Piper. He turns and heads out of the

kitchen. Off screen, he passes Paige on her way in.)

LEO: (o.s.) G'morning.

PAIGE: (o.s.) Hi.

(Paige enters the kitchen.)

PAIGE: I didn't know Leo golfed.

PIPER: Yeah, he does, but not very well. Don't tell him. Why are you so

dressed up?

(Paige takes a cup out of the cupboard.)

PAIGE: Well, the Elders have assigned me a charge, a future Whitelighter.

PIPER: Is that a good thing?

PAIGE: Yeah. It is if he's cute.

(Paige fills her cup with coffee. Phoebe rushes into the kitchen.)

PHOEBE: Don't you ever answer call waiting?


(Phoebe takes a cup from the cupboard.)

PHOEBE: Well, Agent Murphy's been trying to get through. He's got a case for


PAIGE: A case? What are we, Charlie's Witches? We don't work for him.

PHOEBE: Apparently, he seems to think that we do, especially after reminding me

over and over that he bailed us out of our little jam.

PIPER: That's blackmail.

PHOEBE: No, that's your taxpayer dollars at work.

PAIGE: Yeah? Well, I can't. I have to go deal with a charge.

PHOEBE: No, no, no, no, no. You're not dumping this in my lap, Missy. I am

very busy, too. I have dates -- lots and lots of dates.

PIPER: Are you trying to get pregnant again?

PHOEBE: No. I'm trying to find love. So I don't have any more time than you

guys do to go through cold cases.

PAIGE: What do you mean cold cases?

PHOEBE: Well, there are cases that Murphy seems to think have some supernatural

angle to them, so he wants us to go through boxes to see if we can find


PIPER: How many boxes?



(The agent opens the warehouse door for Piper and Phoebe. Yes, warehouse.

Inside are shelves and shelves and shelves of file boxes.)

PIPER: You have got to be kidding me!







(The Government Agent leads Piper and Phoebe into the warehouse.)

AGENT: Agent Murphy says he wants you to start with these. They're rated para-

7 suspicion and higher.

PIPER: Para-7?

AGENT: Paranormal.

(He picks up the box of latex gloves off the table and hands them to Piper.)

AGENT: Don't forget to wear protective gloves. We don't want the evidence


(He passes them and heads back to the door.)

PHOEBE: Wait a minute. Where are you going? Hey, you can't just leave us


(He closes the doors on them.)

PIPER: This can't be legal.

PHOEBE: Apparently it is. (Phoebe grabs a pair of gloves out of the box.)

Let's just get this over with so we can find something.

PIPER: You know, Agent Murphy can't make us do this on a weekly basis. It's


(She slams the box of gloves on the table. Phoebe puts the gloves she has on.)

PHOEBE: Well, if he does, we'll just turn him into a frog or something.

(Piper's phone rings. She reaches for it. Phoebe gives her a stern warning.)

PHOEBE: Don't you answer that.

(The phone rings again. Piper answers it.)

PIPER: (to phone) Hello. Hey, how's it going? Of course I can make it.

PHOEBE: Piper, no, you cannot.

(Piper shrugs.)

PIPER: (to phone) Okay. See you later. (She hangs up.) I got to go. It's

Leo's music buddy. He's trying to get me a band. It's very, very important.

PHOEBE: All right.

PIPER: You should probably leave those off because you'll get a premonition

easier without them. Okay?

(Piper turns and smoothly heads for the door. Phoebe starts pulling off the


PIPER: Um, so I'll be back in a jiffy.

(Piper opens the door and leaves.)

PIPER: (squeaks) Okay. See you later.

(She slams the door shut.)

(Phoebe pulls the gloves and they snap off.)




(Zira walks into the great hall where Sollal is standing over a simmering


ZIRA: I need more power. You said you'd find it for me by now.

SOLLAL: I'm doing everything I can, Zira. I've got feelers out everywhere.

ZIRA: I don't know how much longer I could take answering to that--that brute,

let alone all the others. I'm getting restless.

SOLLAL: And I said I'm working on it.

(Tai, a large demon, shimmers into the Great Hall. Several other demons shimmer

in behind him. Sollal immediately bows before him. Zira nods in respect.)

TAI: Where's the potion? Why isn't it ready yet?

ZIRA: It will be, Tai. I assure you.

TAI: It better be, or I'll find a new sorceress.

(With that, Tai and his demon followers leave the Great Hall.)

ZIRA: I'll show him and his kind who's replaceable, even if I have to kill

every last male demon to do it. It's time for females to rule. Especially this




(Billie is in a class lecture. On the whiteboard is a large picture of a

yin/yang symbol.)

PROFESSOR: The battle of the sexes is universal, going back to Adam and Eve. In

fact, men and women are so different that you have to wonder how we get along at

all. What stops us from killing each other?

(The professor turns and points to the yin/yang symbol on the board.)

PROFESSOR: The yin/yang theory explains it best. Yang: male is cold, hard,

and unbending. Yin: female, warm, soft, and yielding. But ... notice the

dots. A little bit of each in the other for balance.

(Billie pops her gum.)

PROFESSOR: Billie, have something to add?

BILLIE JENKINS: No. (softer to the girl next to her) Nothing he'd wanna hear



BILLIE JENKINS: I think this whole thing's just a little outdated. You know,

it might used to have been more clear-cut, but now men are just wimps or thugs.

It's women that are balanced.

(The boy in front of her belches loudly. The students chuckle.)

BILLIE JENKINS: Oh, I rest my case.

PROFESSOR: I see your point. But like it or not, behind every good man is a

good woman and vice versa. We need each other.

BILLIE JENKINS: Hardly. I'm around amazing women all the time that don't need

guys. I mean, history proves that women are the stronger s*x. Let's think back

to goddesses, queens, muses, witches --

MALE STUDENT: Witches, women -- same difference.

MALE STUDENT 2: You don't mean witches. You mean bi --

(The girl behind him slaps the back of his head before he can even finish that


FEMALE STUDENT: Shut up, Sicko.

BILLIE JENKINS: The only way there will ever be any balance is if women get the

chance to rule.

PROFESSOR: Except history doesn't support your theory. When either s*x becomes

dominant, it's a fiasco.

BILLIE JENKINS: Yeah, for you guys.

PROFESSOR: No. For everyone. We're different for a reason. Buy it or not, the

yin/yang theory will be on the midterm today.

(The class groans. Billie's phone rings.)

BILLIE JENKINS: I'm sorry. I got to take this. (to phone) Phoebe? Hi.

Demons? Okay. I'll just get a cab. All right, bye. (She hangs up.) Sorry. I

got to go. It's a family emergency.

(Billie grabs her stuff and leaves. The Boy student belches again.)


[EXT. P-3 (STOCK) - DAY]


(Smitty talks with Piper as Leo leans against the doorframe in the back


PIPER: Well, the problem is it's a catch-22. No band wants to play a club that

hasn't had a band in a while. On the other hand, I need a band.

SMITTY: That is a problem.

PIPER: Yes, but not an insurmountable one, right?

SMITTY: Yeah, it's true. You guys have a great track record. I mean, you--you

used to book a lot of talent.

PIPER: Uh-huh. And we still can. It just takes one.

SMITTY: You're not gonna get a headliner.

PIPER: Okay. Uh ... well, what if we do a benefit for the hurricane victims?

SMITTY: Maybe I can get you a chick band, but that's about it.

PIPER: A chick band?

SMITTY: But it won't help much because there aren't very many hip ones.

PIPER: I'm sorry, but there's a lot of hugely successful female bands around.

SMITTY: Yeah, but you're not gonna get any of 'em.

PIPER: Well, why not? We used to.

SMITTY: Whoa. Don't get all emotional on me, baby.

PIPER: Oh, no. This is not emotional. Would you like to see emotional? I can

get emotional.

(Leo steps forward and intervenes.)

LEO: Okay, look, Smitty, bottom line is we really could use your help, so maybe

there's somebody who owes you a favor.

(Leo leads Smitty to the door.)

PIPER: Oh, no. I don't need no favors from him.

(Leo sends Piper a warning look as he and Smitty leave the office.)


(Leo and Smitty walk toward the door.)

SMITTY: Okay. Well, um, Liz Phair's passing through town. She likes a good

charity. But we'll talk later when the ol' ball and chain isn't around.

(Leo chuckles.)

LEO: All right.

(They shake hands as Piper exits the office. Smitty leaves.)

PIPER: Why were you so nice to him? Why did you not throw him out on his macho

pig ass?

LEO: Because I'm trying to get you a band. Smitty has a point. The music

business is all about what's current.

PIPER: Well, currently, I am very irritated.

LEO: Okay, well, then you need to take a deep breath and relax.

PIPER: Oh, I see. Now you think I'm being overly emotional.

(Used to it, Leo chuckles.)

LEO: Not at all. It's all good.

(He turns and leaves. Piper's not buying it as she fumes. She laughs and heads

back to her office.)



(Phoebe has some evidence out on the table. In her hand, she holds a boxing

glove as she talks on the phone with Paige.)

PHOEBE: (to phone) All I'm saying is I have coffee at six, a dinner date at

eight. So if Billie's not here -

PAIGE: (from phone) Believe it or not, I would rather be helping you than be

where I am right now.



(Paige is hiding behind a car, parked in a run-down section of the


PHOEBE: (from phone) Why? Where are you?

PAIGE: I'm, uh ... on skid row, trying to figure out how to introduce myself to

my new charge.

PHOEBE: Well, what's stopping you?

PAIGE: Well, I have to wait for the other felon to leave first.


(Paige keeps her eyes on the two men arguing across the street.)

PAIGE: Apparently, this kid's at a crossroads. I'm supposed to help him figure

out how to make the right choice, like that's gonna be real easy.

PHOEBE: Well, back to our little problem here.

(Phoebe reaches into the box again.)

(Paige sees Donnie grab Speed and push him up against the wall.)

DONNIE: Don't tell me no, punk. You owe me.

PAIGE: I got to go. He's getting beat up. Oh-kay.

(Paige hangs up.)

PHOEBE: (sputters) Wait. But --

SPEED: Look, I'm just trying to stay out of trouble, Donnie, that's all.

DONNIE: Yeah? Well, you don't drive, and you're gonna be in a world of trouble

with me. You got that, Speed? Huh?!

PAIGE: (o.s.) Hey!

(Donnie turns and sees Paige running toward them.)

DONNIE: (to Speed) You better show up. Punk.

(He lets Speed go just as Paige arrives.)

PAIGE: You okay?

SPEED: Who are you?

PAIGE: Uh, I'm someone who just saved you from getting your ass kicked, that's

who I am.

SPEED: Lady, I don't think so.

PAIGE: Speed, I know who you are. I'm just trying to help you.

SPEED: What are you, my guardian angel or something?

PAIGE: Yeah. Or something.

(He can't believe her. Suddenly, tires screech as a car turns the corner

quickly headed toward them. Speed looks at the car and recognizes it.)

SPEED: Aw, shoot!

(He takes off running.)

PAIGE: Wait!

(The car turns around on the street, tires screeching and rams into the wire

fence where Speed is climbing.)

(Speed falls right on the hood of the car.)

(Henry Mitchell gets out of the car and grabs Speed, pulling up and off his


HENRY MITCHELL: You dented my hood. That's gonna cost you.

(Henry starts to frisk Speed. Paige runs over to them.)


SPEED: (protesting) It wasn't what you think. The dude just tracked me down.

PAIGE: Leave him alone or I'm gonna call the cops!

(Henry pushes Speed face down on the hood of the car and pulls out his

handcuffs. He also takes out his badge to show Paige.)

HENRY MITCHELL: Don't bother. That's where he's headed already.

PAIGE: You're a parole officer?

(Henry cuffs Speed and pulls him up.)

HENRY MITCHELL: Look at that. Your girlfriend can read, huh?

PAIGE: What'd he do?

HENRY MITCHELL: Broke parole. Consorting with a known felon.

SPEED: Man, that's not what happened. Come on, you gotta believe me.

(He pushes Speed into the car.)

HENRY MITCHELL: Actually, no, I don't. I wouldn't hang around out here, lady,

if I were you. Not dressed like that.

(Paige glances down at what she's wearing as Henry gets back into his car and

starts the engine. He backs up, forcing Paige to step aside. He drives away.)



(Billie tries on a pair of sunglasses as she pauses going through the evidence


BILLIE JENKINS: Wow. These are so Greta Garbo. Hey, now there's a woman that

didn't need a man to make her feel complete.

(Phoebe is looking through another box in between the shelves. She's also on

her phone.)

PHOEBE: Hey, Billie, those are evidence, okay? And not to mention somebody

probably died in them. (to phone) Hello. No. I said I'm dying to see you. It

just must be a really bad connection.

(Billie takes out a girdle.)

BILLIE JENKINS: Now, this is the kind of bondage men want us in? I don't even

know why you bother hooking up. After seeing this guy in my class this morning,

I am so sure women should be on top.

PHOEBE: Do you mind?

BILLIE JENKINS: I'm sorry. I meant that metaphorically.

PHOEBE: Well, I'm speaking to a guy, and he means metaphysically.

(Billie heads back to her box on the table.)

BILLIE JENKINS: Yeah, see, that's the thing. Men just keep using their little

heads to do all the thinking for them.

(She reaches in the box and takes out a skull.)

BILLIE JENKINS: You know, this whole yin/yang thing, it's a complete hoax.

Look at this lame gig. Once again, the male establishment is using women's

awesome skills for their busywork.

PHOEBE: (to phone) You know what? I got to go, okay? Yeah, I can't wait to

see you, too. Sunday. All right. Thanks. Bye.

(She hangs up, picks up her box and heads over to the table to join Billie.)

PHOEBE: Hey, can we lay off the male bashing, please?

(Billie goes back to the shelf to look at the other items on it.)

BILLIE JENKINS: Sorry. I've just had one too many lame dates lately. I don't

understand. Everyone I go out with is so immature and childish. Does that ever

change? Do they ever grow up?

(She finds a golden belt.)

PHOEBE: Well, if I ever get out of here, I'll let you know.

BILLIE JENKINS: Hey. Check this thing out.

(Billie steps out from the shelves with the belt around her waist. Phoebe

glances at her just as Billie's about to snap the belt closed.)

PHOEBE: No, no. No.

(Too late. She closes the belt around her waist. A gold-colored flash of light

washes over Billie and changes her into a sleek, Amazon-looking warrior.)

BILLIE JENKINS: Uh, what just happened?

PHOEBE: We're screwed. That's what happened.





(Billie and Phoebe walk down the sidewalk. The men they pass by whistle at

them. Billie tries to get the belt off her.)

PHOEBE: This is unbelievable. Piper takes the car. Paige orbs. Does anyone

stop and think that Phoebe can't orb? No, of course not. Why? Because it's all

about them.

BILLIE JENKINS: Ok, hi. Yeah. I can't get this thing off.

PHOEBE: Yeah. Don't even bother. It's gonna take a spell or a potion or some

kind of emotional epiphany.

BILLIE JENKINS: That blows. Are you sure?

PHOEBE: Hello! Voice of experience. I've been turned into a mermaid, a mummy,

a genie. Okay? Trust me. I know these things.

BILLIE JENKINS: I can't believe this. I feel so stupid. I had to put the belt


PHOEBE: It's okay. Just think of it as initiation. It happens to the best of


BILLIE JENKINS: So it's not that bad?

PHOEBE: Oh, no. It's bad. It's very, very bad.

(They cross the street.)

MAN: (o.s.) Hey! Superhero-Babe! Over here!

BILLIE JENKINS: (groans) Please, someone vanquish me now.

PHOEBE: Ok, we got to get you out of here. Hey, taxi!

(Phoebe hails a taxi. The taxi stops. Billie reaches down to open the door and

it comes off completely from its hinges.)

(She and Phoebe gasp.)

TAXI DRIVER: What the hell did you do to my cab?

PHOEBE: Put it back, put it back. Put it back. Let's go.

(Billie puts the car door back on the car. She and Phoebe take off down the


(The taxi driver watches as his car door falls off the frame and onto the




(Zira stirs the boiling cauldron. Sollal rushes into the Great Hall carrying a


SOLLAL: A dormant power's just been activated.

ZIRA: What do you mean dormant?

(He opens the book and reads.)

SOLLAL: Well, judging by its intensity and frequency of the emissions, I

thought it was the Crystal of Kazimar. But it's even more powerful than that.

The Golden Belt of Gaea.

ZIRA: "The goddesses' gift to Hippolyta endows the woman wearing it with

transcendent powers."

(She slams the book shut and looks at Sollal eagerly.)

ZIRA: I'm sold. How do I get it?

SOLLAL: Trust me. You don't want it. It would destroy you the moment you put

it on. You're evil.

ZIRA: Then what good is it to me?

SOLLAL: Well, you could still appropriate its powers by getting the woman who's

wearing it to do your bidding for you.

ZIRA: How, if she's good?

SOLLAL: The belt's power will compel her to use its force whether she wants to

or not. In time, it'll drive her to madness, consume her. Of course, if you

were to befriend her before that ...

ZIRA: Then I can get her to use the powers for me, to get rid of Tai. How do

we find her?



(Paige walks in and sees Henry Mitchell on the phone.)

PAIGE: There you are.

HENRY MITCHELL: (to phone) What about Jake? Did he check in yet?

(She walks up to Henry.)

PAIGE: Hey. Excuse me. You almost hit me.

HENRY MITCHELL: (to phone) I'm gonna call you back. Yeah, yeah. (He hangs

up.) Excuse me?

PAIGE: Before you peeled out of there, you nearly hit me.

HENRY MITCHELL: Oh. Sorry about that.


HENRY MITCHELL: Is that what you came all the way down here for?

PAIGE: Yeah. That and just to, you know, check and see how Speed's doing.

HENRY MITCHELL: Let me guess. Missionary? Social worker? Do-gooder?

PAIGE: Homeland Security, actually.


PAIGE: Mm-hmm. Check it out if you want.

HENRY MITCHELL: All right. I think I will. So what does homeland security

want with a street thug like Speed?

PAIGE: He's not a thug. He's a kid.

HENRY MITCHELL: Oh, no, no. No. He's 18.

PAIGE: Barely.

HENRY MITCHELL: Well, barely counts, and he's gonna learn that.

PAIGE: Where's he supposed to learn that? In jail?

HENRY MITCHELL: No. We try to scare him so that maybe he won't go back to jail.

FRANK: Here you go, Henry. He's all yours.

HENRY MITCHELL: Thanks, Frank.

SPEED: What's she doing here?

HENRY MITCHELL: She's looking out for you, so don't let her down. Hey, from

now on, it's for real. You got that? No more juvie passes. Next time it


SPEED: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

HENRY MITCHELL: You Feds better keep your books open on this one. Something

tells me you're gonna see him again.

PAIGE: No. We won't. He's destined for greatness.

SPEED: You hear that? I'm destined for greatness.

HENRY MITCHELL: Yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't make your four o'clock check-in

with me, you're gonna be destined for prison. Go on. I'm gonna take you home.

(He pushes Speed toward the door and turns to look at Paige who smiles at him.

Henry can't make heads or tails out of her. He follows Speed and heads out.)

(Paige walks over to the nearest file cabinet and looks at the file folders on

it. She sees something and smiles as she leaves.)



(Leo follows Piper out of the kitchen and into the dining room, mid-


PIPER: How many times do I have to say it? I'd rather lose the club than have

somebody like Smitty help me out.

LEO: Okay, but you're letting your feelings about the guy get in the way of

good business.

PIPER: So, basically, you agree with him. Now, not only am I emotional, but I

am also, in fact, stupid.

LEO: That's not what I meant.

PIPER: You know what? At least I hold on to my principles.

LEO: Okay. You know what? Let's stop with the mudslinging and think about

this rationally.

PIPER: Oh! So now I'm irrational?

LEO: No. Yes. You're being irrational. Smitty has amazing connections. It

doesn't make sense to alienate him.

PIPER: Ok, fine. You know what? You deal with him, man to man, all right?

More power to you.

(Piper slaps Leo on his arm just as a loud crashing sounds from behind them.)

(Piper turns around to see ...


(Billie carrying the front door into the house. They are all completely shocked

by it. She puts the door down against the wall.)


PIPER: Oh ...

(Phoebe walks into the house and walks past Piper.)

PHOEBE: Yeah, she's a superhero. But, no, you can't get mad at her because

it's your fault.

PIPER: My fault?

PHOEBE: Yes. She tried on a belt in one of the boxes that you were supposed to

be going through.

BILLIE JENKINS: I couldn't help myself.

PIPER: Oh, no. Really?

PHOEBE: Enough with the chatter. We have to figure out how to get it off of


LEO: It's not gonna be easy. That looks like Hippolyta's belt.

PIPER: Hippo-who?

BILLIE JENKINS: Oh, wait. I know her from my mythology class. Greek queen.

Super powerful. Wanted to create men and women equal. (beat) Wait a second.

Didn't Hercules butcher her?

LEO: That's the one.

BILLIE JENKINS: Oh, that's just great.

(Billie waves her arms and Leo vanishes.)

(Piper turns and looks at the empty space where Leo used to be.)

PIPER: Oh, no. Why did you go and do that? Who's gonna pick up the kids?

LEO: What do you mean?

PHOEBE: Leo, look at yourself.

LEO: Ohh.

PIPER: (to Billie) Turn him back. Right now.

BILLIE JENKINS: I don't know how. I didn't do it. (points to belt) This did


PIPER: Huh. All right. Fine.

(Piper waves her hands at the belt and tries to blast it off her. There's a

mini-explosion, but the belt is still on Billie. Billie gasps and glares at


BILLIE JENKINS: Did you just try and kill me?

PIPER: Easy.

PHOEBE: Billie, relax. Of course not. What's the matter with you?

BILLIE JENKINS: I don't know. That was really weird. Please get this off me.

PHOEBE: (points upstairs) Let's get the Book.

(Piper waits as Phoebe and Billie leave the room.)

PIPER: (to Leo) All right. What aren't you telling us? And don't think just

because you're invisible that I won't --

LEO: (interrupts from her right) Ok. I know the goddesses who made the belt

came up with a way to take it off. But if we can't figure out what that was,

Billie's going to die.

PIPER: Oh, like the woman who wore it before who ended up in Murphy's cold


LEO: Probably. The belt holds enormous power, Piper. It seduces the wearer

before it drives her insane.

PIPER: We got to fix this before it goes horribly wrong.

(Piper takes a step forward and bumps into Invisible Leo.)

LEO: Like it's not already.

PIPER: All right, that's not funny. Move it. Move. Mm.

(She walks around Leo and heads out of the room.)




(Zira, Tai and Tai's demons walk into the alley.)

TAI: Where's this belt?

ZIRA: It won't just come to you on its own, Tai. It must be lured. She must

be lured.

TAI: How?

ZIRA: By attacking an innocent, a female.

(Two women walk out of the fitness center.)

ZIRA: But it must be more than just an attack. You'll need to torment her if

you wish to compel the mistress of the belt to come to her aid.

TAI: I brought my demons here to torment one innocent?

ZIRA: No. You brought them here to help you get power beyond your imagination.

Imagine your status in the underworld when you bring such a trophy back. All

will bow to you if, of course, you can take the belt away from her. It won't be


TAI: I think I can handle one lousy woman.

ZIRA: Oh, so strong. Still, better safe than sorry. I'll prepare for the

belt's arrival.

(Zira shimmers out of the alley.)



(Phoebe pulls out a chair at the potions table. In the background, we see Piper

leafing through the Book of Shadows.)

PHOEBE: (to Billie) Ok, you just sit down right here and relax until we can

figure out a way to get that thing off you.

(Billie sits down.)

PIPER: If we can. If we can, we should soon before she turns any more men


PHOEBE: Well, you and I both know something horrible is gonna have to happen

before we can get her out of that get-up.

(Billie suddenly gets to her feet. She grabs a potions bottle off the table and

slams it against the belt. It causes a mini-explosion, but the belt remains

firmly around Billie's waist.)

BILLIE JENKINS: Ohhh! I scratched my pretty belt.

PIPER: Oh, dear. Now it's her "pretty belt."

BILLIE JENKINS: What does that mean?

PHOEBE: It just means that maybe the belt is starting to affect you.

BILLIE JENKINS: I don't think the belt is starting to affect me. Okay? I

would know if -- Oh, hold on. I think I'm getting a call.

PIPER: A call?

BILLIE JENKINS: Yeah. I'll be right back.

(Billie turns and, with super-speed, runs out of the attic.)



(Invisible Leo is putting the front door back on the frame when Super Billie

runs out of the house.)

LEO: Whoa!

(The door falls on Invisible Leo, squishing him.)

LEO: Anybody? Help? Anybody?



(Tai and the other demons trap a woman outside the fitness center.)

TAI: (sing-song) Over here ... We're coming for you.

GIRL: Dear god, help!

(Tai throws bolts of electricity at the girl, trapping her against the wall.)

BILLIE JENKINS: (o.s.) That's no way to treat a woman.

(They turn and see Billie.)

TAI: Get the belt.

BILLIE JENKINS: I don't think so.

(Tai throws bolts of electricity at Billie. She holds up her hand and deflects

it back at one of the demons, hitting him, vanquishing him. The other demons

explode as well.)

(Tai turns and finds that he's alone.)

(He tries again, throwing more electricity at her. Billie steps aside, the

electricity missing her completely.)

(Billie throws some electricity at him, hitting him in the shoulder. Tai

shimmers out.)






(Piper and Phoebe are carrying the door. They set it agains the wall.)

PIPER: Sweetie, honey, are you all right?

LEO: Yeah. Except for the fact that nobody can see me.

PHOEBE: And the fact that the girl that did that to you is out doing God knows

what. We have to find her.

(Just then, Billie speeds back into the house, knocking the door off.)

LEO: Whoa! Watch the door ...

(The door falls to the floor.)

BILLIE JENKINS: Um, sorry. I'm still getting used to this blurring thing, but,

oh, is it fun.

PHOEBE: Fun? You're having fun? We were worried about you. Where have you


BILLIE JENKINS: Well, let's see. I rescued a woman in distress, I killed off a

bunch of male demons, and I scratched my pretty belt again.

(Piper and Phoebe glance at each other.)

PHOEBE: Okay, Billie, I think you're getting a little too attached to that


PIPER: Yeah, until we get it off, maybe you should kind of stay put.

BILLIE JENKINS: No, I don't wanna take it off. It makes me feel powerful.

LEO: See, that's a problem.

(The belt glows, casting a red array of light on the girls.)

PIPER: Actually, here's a problem.

(Phoebe's phone rings.)

PIPER: Why are men so threatened by powerful women?

PHOEBE: (to phone) Hey, look, I'm busy. I'll call you when I have time. (She

hangs up.) There is nothing worse than a needy guy.

PIPER: Right.

LEO: Uh, ladies, I think the belt's affecting you, too.

PIPER: Oh, shush it, will you?

PHOEBE: Is there any way you can make his voice disappear?

LEO: Which means it's growing stronger.

BILLIE JENKINS: Oh, you are such a downer. No wonder I made you invisible.

Oops. My midterm. I almost forgot.

PIPER: Hey, could you make Leo visible again before you go?

PHOEBE: Really? Why?

PIPER: Well, he's got to play golf apparently to get me a band. So what can I

tell you? It's a man's world.

(Off to the side, Leo chuckles wryly.)

BILLIE JENKINS: I guess I can try.

(She shoots some electricity at Leo, making him visible again.)

BILLIE JENKINS: Oh, it worked. Right on.

(Billie speeds off. As soon as she's gone, the Piper's brow furrows.)

PIPER: What the hell just happened?

PHOEBE: I think her powers are getting stronger.

LEO: And taking her over.

PIPER: Well, then we have to stop her.



(Sollal stands over the cauldron. Zira walks in.)

ZIRA: He wants to go after her again. I can't hold him off much longer. Why

didn't it work? Why didn't she kill him?

SOLLAL: I'm telling you, we're almost there.

ZIRA: How do you figure? Tai's alive. Male demons are still in control. But I

don't see any wonder witch here to help me change things.

SOLLAL: She killed his gang, didn't she? That means the belt's hold on her is

strengthening. Now, soon she'll be so intoxicated by it, you'll be able to make

your move, turn her.

ZIRA: Not if Tai kills me first.

SOLLAL: Then use your wiles to hold him at bay until I can find her. She will

be yours for the taking in no time.

ZIRA: You better be right ... or else there'll be one more male demon to become


(Zira leaves.)



(Paige looks around Speed's small apartment. She picks up a scrubber in one of

the pans and tosses it back.)

(There's some scruffling noises coming from outside the door.)

PAIGE: Speed. Finally. Where have you been?

(She opens the door. Henry Mitchell nearly falls inside. They're both

surprised to see the other.)

HENRY MITCHELL: What are you doing here?

PAIGE: What are you doing here?

(Henry enters the apartment and looks around.)

HENRY MITCHELL: I'm supposed to be here. I'm the parole officer, remember?

How did you get in? That door was locked.

(The door closes.)

PAIGE: (shrugs) I have my ways.

HENRY MITCHELL: Really? Oh, I'm listening.

PAIGE: Look --

HENRY MITCHELL: No. You look. I don't know what your name is.

PAIGE: My name is Paige.

HENRY MITCHELL: Okay, Paige. I have a job to do and a parolee to bust. Now,

what do you know about all that?

PAIGE: I don't know anything about all that. I just came here to talk to him,


HENRY MITCHELL: Talk about what?

PAIGE: Talk about his future, how not to blow it.

HENRY MITCHELL: You think that that's all it's gonna take to keep him out of

trouble? Just some talk?

PAIGE: Well, it's a start, isn't it?

HENRY MITCHELL: Why do you believe in him so much?

PAIGE: Why don't you?

HENRY MITCHELL: No, I used to, for the last ten years. But I'm getting pretty

tired of trying to save his useless ass.

PAIGE: Great. Don't. I'll do it.

HENRY MITCHELL: You'll do it?

PAIGE: (nods) Mm-hmm.

HENRY MITCHELL: You're a little late.

PAIGE: What do you mean?

HENRY MITCHELL: I mean, he's not here, is he? No. Which means he's with

Donnie, which means Donnie talked him into the job.

PAIGE: Jobs are good things.

HENRY MITCHELL: Not that kind of a job. Robbing a liquor store. Yeah. That's

right. And the cops know all about it. And they're gonna bust him in the act.

PAIGE: No. Speed's not gonna be there.

HENRY MITCHELL: I got twenty bucks says he will.

PAIGE: I have twenty that says he won't. You're on.


PAIGE: Where?

HENRY MITCHELL: And prove you wrong. After you.

(Paige and Henry leave the apartment. Henry closes the door behind them.)




(The test starts. The professor glances at his watch.)

PROFESSOR: Twenty minutes, guys. Twenty minutes.

(Billie walks in.)

FEMALE STUDENT: Talk about tacky.

MALE STUDENT 1: Hey, super babe.

MALE STUDENT 2: I could use some action.

PROFESSOR: Shh, shh, shh, shh. Test half over. Time you have left, you'll be

lucky to get a "C."

BILLIE JENKINS: Wouldn't expect anything more from a sexist pig like you.


PROFESSOR: Excuse me?

BILLIE JENKINS: You have to admit your theories are slanted to more of a male


(Billie's belt sends a red array of light through the entire classroom. The

females in the class glow as they're affected by the light.)

PROFESSOR: So is the superhero costume a comment on the male hierarchy? I

assume you're making a statement.

MALE STUDENT: Yeah, that she's hot.

FEMALE STUDENT: Shut up, pig!

(The female student gets up and elbows the male student in the face, knocking

him to the ground. Some guys laugh.)

FEMALE STUDENT: What are you laughing at?

MALE STUDENT 2: Ok. Chill out. Huh?

(The female student climbs over the desks and jumps on the second male student.

The professor tries to get order back into the class.)

PROFESSOR: Wait. Stop. This isn't necessary-- aah!

(A third female student runs and tackles the professor. Other women in the

class start fighting with the men. Billie's appalled.)

(The dark-haired female student knocks a male student down to the floor, jumps

on him, and punches him repeatedly in the face.)

BILLIE JENKINS: (confused) This isn't right.

(Billie backs up and leaves the class.)


(Zira walks up to Billie.)

ZIRA: This isn't what you wanted, is it? I can help you.

BILLIE JENKINS: Who are you?

ZIRA: Someone who understands. (She takes Billie's hand.) Come with me ...

and all your questions will be answered.

(Camera pans across the door way to the Human Sexuality class. The fighting

inside continues.)





(Piper and Phoebe enter the house. Phoebe closes the door behind them.)

PIPER: I can't believe we missed her.

PHOEBE: Well, at least she left before the entire class killed each other.

PIPER: You mean before the girls killed the boys.

LEO: Sounds like history's repeating itself. Hippolyta tried to use the belt

to create harmony between the sexes. It blew up in her face, too.

PHOEBE: Dare I ask what happened next?

LEO: Well, she retreated to an island of women, killing any man who dare to


PIPER: Well, one must have gotten through because Billie said Hercules killed


LEO: Which is why everyone who's worn the belt since has tried to rid the

entire world of men.

PHOEBE: Oh, great. Just when I start dating again.

PIPER: You know, that means Wyatt and Chris, too.

PHOEBE: Oh, come on. What are the possibilities of this really happening?

Other people have worn the belt before and men are still walking around.

LEO: But Billie was a powerful witch before she put the belt on, which pretty

much makes her invincible. She could do it or at least kill a lot of men


PIPER: So, what, our only hope is that the belt drives her insane and kills her


PHOEBE: No, we have to figure out a way to get the belt off of her and contain

her, obviously, so she doesn't do any more harm.

PIPER: If we can find her.

LEO: I guess I won't be golfing after all.

PIPER: No. Actually, I think you should. You're the target. I want you as

far away as possible.

LEO: Yes. But you're vulnerable to the belt's powers. I'm not.

PIPER: Yeah, I know. But now that we know what to expect, we'll keep our

distance, I promise. Now, really, you should go, and if you find me a band in

the process, that wouldn't be such a bad thing.

(She kisses him on the lips, turns and heads upstairs. Phoebe follows her.)



(Zira talks with Billie.)

ZIRA: Don't you see? Women have evolved while men have grown more barbaric.

Your destiny is to unite women -- bring peace into the world, and I can help.

BILLIE JENKINS: But you're a demon.

ZIRA: But I don't want to be. Nor with your powers will I have to be any

longer. This whole good-versus-evil paradigm -- it's all been fostered by men

to divide us because they can't create life. So they try to destroy it.

BILLIE JENKINS: I don't know.

ZIRA: Oh, think about it. We're at magic school. It's filled with demons,

which means if I wanted you dead, you would be.

BILLIE JENKINS: What do you want?

ZIRA: Peace. Harmony. Just ... like ... you. With women ruling, good and

evil goes away. All walks of life live as one. Of course, we may have to kill

a few ... de-men in the process. But that's where you come in.

BILLIE JENKINS: I should talk to the sisters first.

ZIRA: They don't believe in a women's utopia like we do. They're stuck in the

old ways, battles.

BILLIE JENKINS: No. No, they're very strong women.

ZIRA: Who have been corrupted by the male hierarchy. They're scared of change.

They'd do anything to stop you, which is why it's so important we take over

magic school, make it our base. Peace. Unity. Think about it.

SOLLEL: She's not well. She'll be dead soon.

ZIRA: She just needs to live long enough to kill Tai. Then no one will dare

challenge me.



(Henry and Paige wait in his car, the two twenty dollar bills on the dashboard.)

(Henry eats peanuts out of the bottle. Paige groans, shifting in her seat.)

HENRY MITCHELL: You all right?

PAIGE: Yeah. I just have to go to the bathroom is all.

HENRY MITCHELL: Oh. Why didn't you say so?

(Henry reaches in the back and takes out a thermos cup. He hands it to her and

looks away.)

HENRY MITCHELL: Here you go. I won't look.

PAIGE: That's disgusting.

(He smiles at her and tosses the cup in the backseat.)

HENRY MITCHELL: First stakeout, huh?

PAIGE: No. I've been on lots of stakeouts. (He scrunches his eyes at her,

studying her.) What?

HENRY MITCHELL: I don't know. Still trying to figure you out.


HENRY MITCHELL: Because I can't. That's why. I do like a challenge, though.

DISPATCH: Suspect vehicle approaching south on Larson. Over.

(They look over and see the black SUV pull up the street. Donnie and Speed are


DISPATCH: Suspect vehicle is in position, two black males considered armed and

dangerous. Stand by. Over.

HENRY MITCHELL: Damn. It looks like you lost our bet.

PAIGE: He hasn't done anything yet.

HENRY MITCHELL: Boy, you are an optimist, huh?

PAIGE: No. I just have faith.


(Henry takes out his gun and waits.)


(Speed sits nervously in the car.)

DONNIE: Yo. Chill, dog.

SPEED: Look, I don't wanna be doing this.

DONNIE: Yeah? Well, it's too late.

(He glances behind at the other two men in the back seat. They take out their

guns and load them.)

(The two guys in the back seat exit the car.)


(A man carrying a package exits the liquor store. The two men from the SUV

approach the front.


DONNIE: What are you waiting for? Drive to the front.

SPEED: I can't, man. I don't wanna be doing this. I can't.

(Donnie opens a switchblade.)

DONNIE: The hell you can't.

(Speed sees the two guys walk into the liquor store.)


(Donnie is insistent.)

DONNIE: Drive, damn it.


(The store's burglar alarm sounds.)

DISPATCH: (radio) All units engage, engage!

(Henry heads out.)

HENRY MITCHELL: (to Paige) Stay here.

(Paige gets out of the car.)


(Speed takes the opportunity and tries to get out of the car. Donnie turns and

sees him.)

DONNIE: Son of a bitch.

(He reaches over the seat and swings the knife at Speed, knicking him in the




(Officer cars turn the corner. Donnie quickly exits the car and runs. Speed


(The two cars stop in front of the liquor store just as the other two robbers

exit, surprised to see them. The officers quickly get out of their cars, their

guns raised.)

OFFICER: Police! Freeze! Don't move!

(The robbers run.)

(Henry runs to check the SUV.)

(The cops apprehend the two robbers.)

(Henry reaches the end of the road and sees the SUV still parked where they left

it, no one inside.)

(Paige reaches Henry's side. He glances back at her.)

HENRY MITCHELL: You owe me twenty bucks.

(He turns and leaves. Paige shakes her head.)




(Phoebe sits at the scrying table as she waves the crystal over the map. Piper

is setting down crystals in the center of the attic.)

PHOEBE: This isn't working. Either super Billie's completely taken over or she

just doesn't wanna be found.

PIPER: Well, we could try the "to call a lost witch" spell. If there's any

witch left in her, it should bring her back here whether she likes it or not.

PHOEBE: Well, what if that doesn't work?

PIPER: Well, then mankind has got a serious problem.

(Piper and Phoebe head for the Book of Shadows.)

PHOEBE: I should've stopped her.

PIPER: Don't worry about it. It's a job hazard. It would've happened sooner

or later.

PHOEBE: She's gonna be pretty upset when she comes back here. Do you think we

should call for Paige?

PIPER: No. She's got her own innocent to save. Besides, if Billie gets here

and we can't handle it, we'll call for her.


Power of the witches rise,

course unseen across the skies.

Come to us who call you near,

come to us and settle here.

(Billie appears in the attic. She's downright irritated.)

BILLIE JENKINS: What did you do that for?

PHOEBE: We were just worried about you, that's all.

BILLIE JENKINS: That's bull. You just don't want me to create my Utopia.

PIPER: Your what?

PHOEBE: Are you kidding? We love Utopias. We're witches, you know. We're

into the girl power.

BILLIE JENKINS: Fine. What do you want?

PHOEBE: (innocently) We just wanna talk, see how you're doing. Now!

(Piper drops the last crystal to complete the crystal cage around Billie. She

and Phoebe both run back to the Book.)


(Billie tries to get out of the crystal cage and is shocked.)

BILLIE JENKINS: You lied to me! Zira was right.


(Billie stretches out her arms and screams. A blast of power bursts from her

and decimates the crystal cage. Phoebe and Piper run for cover behind the

nearby couch.)

BILLIE JENKINS: There's no wrath like a woman scorned.

(Billie vanishes.)

PIPER: Huh. We have got to find her and bring her back here 'cause I am not

cleaning up this mess.



(Zira paces the floor as Sollel stirs the bubbling cauldron.)

BILLIE JENKINS: (o.s.) Zira.

(They turn and see Billie standing in the doorway.)

BILLIE JENKINS: I'm all yours.

(Zira smiles.)





(Phoebe and Piper come down the stairway.)

PHOEBE: Maybe we could try the spell again and bring her back.

PIPER: And do what with her, watch her destroy the rest of the house? We can't

contain her.

PHOEBE: There's got to be a way.

(They turn and see Leo walk back into the house with his golf clubs. He spares

the missing front door a glance.)

LEO: Hey. I, uh, guess Billie's still wearing the belt, huh?

PIPER: You think?

PHOEBE: Nice. You're out playing golf while we're trying to save your gender.

(Leo goes to the closet to put the golf clubs away.)

PIPER: No. I told him to, and it's a good thing I did, because Billie might

have killed you.

LEO: She's getting worse, isn't she?

PHOEBE: Yeah, and she teamed up with a demon. If I were a guy, I'd definitely

be a little nervous.

LEO: Any chance they went back to magic school?

PIPER: Maybe. Why?

LEO: Well, because if they did, we might be able to get the belt off her there.

The goddesses' spell's got to be in one of the history books.

PIPER: It's gonna be pretty tough to get by her unseen.

LEO: I think unseen is the answer.



(The front door opens and Speed peers inside. He's barely taken a step in when

Henry grabs him and pushes him up against the wall.)

HENRY MITCHELL: You wouldn't listen to me. Just had to go and do something


(Paige appears in the doorway.)

PAIGE: Hey, easy.

SPEED: Oh, man, you don't understand.

HENRY MITCHELL: No, I understand. You screwed up. That's what I understand.

PAIGE: Why don't you just listen to what he has to say?

HENRY MITCHELL: Look, I don't like this any better than you do, okay? I don't

have any choice. He's an accessory to robbery, and I'm gonna take him in.

SPEED: I'm telling you, that's not the way it went down.

HENRY MITCHELL: Okay. Why don't you tell that to the judge?

(Henry pushes Speed toward the door. Once in the light, Paige sees that he's


PAIGE: Wait. What happened?

(Henry glances down at Speed's bloody shirt.)

HENRY MITCHELL: What happened to you?

SPEED: That's what I was trying to tell you. Donnie stuck me 'cause I wouldn't


HENRY MITCHELL: Then what the hell were you doing there? Huh?

SPEED: Just forget it, man.

(Henry again tries to get Speed out the door. Paige stops him.)

PAIGE: No. No. If what he's saying is the truth, then that makes him


HENRY MITCHELL: That's not my call.

PAIGE: Actually, it is your call whether you take him in or not. Why don't you

check the other guy's knife? If his blood is on it, then he's exonerated.

(Henry considers it.)

HENRY MITCHELL: Let's go. Excuse us.

(Henry pushes Speed out the door. Paige's phone rings.)

PAIGE: (to phone) What?



(Billie vanquishes a demon. Tai crouches on the ground, glaring at Zira.)

TAI: You set me up.

ZIRA: It's called evolution, Tai. Your kind's irrelevant.

TAI: (to Billie) You fool. She's just using you. There's no battle of the

sexes. The eternal fight is between good and evil.

(Billie shoots electricity at Tai. He explodes.)

(ZOOM IN ON the overturned cauldron and the puddle under it. We hear squishy

footfalls and see sneaker-sized prints appearing across the Great Hall floor.

Camera rises to the shelves of books in the back.)

ZIRA: I can't believe he's finally dead. It's almost anticlimactic.

(Sollal peers out from behind the curtains.)

SOLLAL: Is he really gone?

ZIRA: (to Billie) You missed one.

(Sollal tries to make a run for it, but Billie zaps him. He explodes.)


(Billie sighs and turns around. Zira follows her.)

(Unknown to them, a book tilts on the shelf. More books move on the shelf.)

(Billie sits down. Zira crouches down in front of her.)

ZIRA: Are you all right? You don't look well.

BILLIE JENKINS: I don't feel very good.

ZIRA: It's all right. You just rest.

(More books shuffle around on the table behind them.)

ZIRA: It'll be all over soon. I promise.

PHOEBE: (o.s.) Sooner than you think.

(They turn and see The Charmed Ones in the doorway. They enter the Great Hall.)

(Billie gets to her feet.)

BILLIE JENKINS: What are you doing here?

PIPER: We've come to save you.

PAIGE: Again.

ZIRA: You can't save her. It's too late.

(Piper glances off to the side. The open book hovering in the air, tilts

downward to show her the spell.)

PIPER: Wanna bet?

(Paige holds out her hands.)

PAIGE: Book.

(The open book orbs to her arms.)

ZIRA: They're after your belt. Kill them.

LEO: No!


(Suddenly, Invisible Leo rushes over and knocks Billie off her feet.)

LEO: Say the damn spell!


For all the world to work as one,

in harmony it must be undone.

(Billie gets to her feet just as she glows gold. The belt unlocks and slips off

her waist. It falls to the floor. Billie changes back to her regular college-

girl self.)

(Zira watches them warily.)

PAIGE: Belt!

(The belt orbs from the floor and around Zira's waist.)

ZIRA: Uh-oh.

(Piper shrugs.)

(The power in the belt glows and Zira explodes - belt and all.)

(Paige sighs.)

(Piper steps forward, a potions bottle in her hand.)

PIPER: All right. Come out, come out, wherever you are.

(She tosses the potions bottle and hits Leo in the chest making him visible

again. He smiles at her.)

PIPER: (smiling back) Huh. It's nice to see you.

LEO: It's good to be seen.

BILLIE JENKINS: (confused) What happened?

PAIGE: Leo, uh, just saved your life.

PHOEBE: Yin/yang working together, just like it should be.

(Billie sighs. Piper and Leo look at each other.)

PIPER: Good job, Yang.

LEO: Thanks, Yin.

(They chuckle as they kiss.)

(Billie smiles. Piper and Leo break apart, turn and smile back at them.)




(The elevator bell dings and the doors open. Henry leads Speed back to the

station's bullpen.)

(They pass an officer with a hand-cuff man exiting the bullpen. Henry stops in

the corridor and takes his cell phone out.)

SPEED: What are we doing?

(He dials.)

HENRY MITCHELL: Yeah, Inspector. It's Henry. By any chance did that kid

Donnie have a knife on him when he was arrested? It had blood on it? No, no,

no. It's nothing. I was just curious. Thanks. (He hangs up.) (to Speed)

Turn around.

SPEED: What's up?

(Henry uncuffs him.)

HENRY MITCHELL: I'm letting you go. That's what's up.

SPEED: Wait. So you mean you believe me?

HENRY MITCHELL: (nods) This time. Go.

(The elevator doors open and Speed gets inside. Henry watches as the doors






(Paige is in bed. She reaches over and answers the phone.)

PAIGE: (to phone) Hello.

HENRY: (from phone) So do you want cash, or can I send you a check?

(Paige sits up in bed.)

PAIGE: Henry?



(Henry leans against his parked car.)

HENRY MITCHELL: You were right about the kid. He was clean.

PAIGE: How did you get my number?

HENRY MITCHELL: Oh, you're not the only one with connections.

PAIGE: I see.

HENRY MITCHELL: Hey, Speed owes you. I -- I owe you, too.

PAIGE: Just doing my job.

HENRY MITCHELL: Well ... good night.

PAIGE: Good night.

(He hangs up and closes his phone.)

(Paige hangs up and closes her phone. She smiles as she burrows down under her




[INT. P-3 -- NIGHT]

(Phoebe and Piper carry their drinks over to the alcove where Billie sits with

her own drink.)

PIPER: (to Billie) That better be a virgin colada. I don't wanna lose my

license the same night I land Liz Phair.

BILLIE JENKINS: Oh, don't worry. I think I've caused enough trouble for you

guys for one day.

PHOEBE: You were bound to turn into something eventually.

BILLIE JENKINS: Yeah. But Wonder Witch? Not to mention I almost terminated an

entire gender.

PHOEBE: Yeah, but the point is you didn't.

PIPER: Thankfully.

BILLIE JENKINS: Yeah, I just wish I still wasn't so confused about men.

PHOEBE: Don't worry. They're just as confused about us.

BILLIE JENKINS: I know, but I'm still a little gun-shy.

PHOEBE: It's okay. You have time.

EMCEE: Ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together. Welcome to P-3 Liz


BILLIE JENKINS: I still can't believe Leo got her.

PIPER: (shrugs) Yeah, you know. Guys. Golf. Go figure.

PHOEBE: To the mystery of men.

(They toast.)


I'm so far, far, so far away from it now

that it seems like I may never know how

people stay in love for half of their lives

it's a secret they keep between the husbands and wives

baby, there goes somebody's miracle

walkin' down the street

there goes some other fairy tale

I wish it could happen to me

(The guy standing over at the bar smiles at Billie. She smiles back. Phoebe

smiles knowingly at Billie causing her to blush.)


but I look at myself

and I think, what the hell?

Maybe I'm just too naïve to have such faith in myself

you know, I'm prayin' for it

(Camera holds on Billie.)