08x09 - Hulkus Pocus


"Hulkus Pocus"

Season 8, Episode 9




[Scene from 8x08: Battle Of The Hexes]

PAIGE: Leave him alone or I'm gonna call the cops!

HENRY: Don't bother. That's where he's headed already.

PAIGE: You're a parole officer?

PAIGE: (voice-over)


HENRY: Still trying to figure you out.


HENRY: Because I can't, that's why. I do like a challenge, though.

[Scene from 8x06: Kill Billie: Vol. 1]

(Phoebe talking to Paige at the Manor.)

PHOEBE: It's just so complicated, you know? I find this guy, this great guy, and

then the spell and the premonitions just... mess everything up.

(Billie talking to the three sisters in the attic.)

BILLIE: The night my sister was taken... (Flash to a black-robed demon taking

Billie's sister and flying out of the window.) That was the last time I ever saw


[Scene from 8x05: Rewitched]

(Agent Murphy introducing himself to Billie.)

AGENT MURPHY: Agent Murphy, Homeland Security.

(Piper and Phoebe talk to Agent Murphy in his office.)

PIPER: You wanna know more about who we are and what we do, we'll tell you.

PHOEBE: And help you out with a few cases along the way. If you help us.




(Magic school is in complete chaos; there's broken furniture all over the place,

and the floor is surrounded with broken objects and ripped off book pages. We

hear sounds of demons fighting and fireballs crashing not too far away.)

(Paige and Piper orb in. They cautiously walk down the magic school's hallway.)

PAIGE: Sounds like we found him.

PIPER: Yeah, but what's he doing at magic school?

PAIGE: What do you mean? This place is Demon Central.

PIPER: And it's beating up other demons, that's not what Krycheks do.

PAIGE: Yeah, but they also don't attack gnomes and leprechauns, but this one did.

PIPER: Something's not right, it doesn't make sense.

PAIGE: Yeah, well, what doesn't make sense is that we are tracking this thing.

And what does the government want with this demon anyway?

PIPER: That will be the first thing I'm gonna ask Agent Murphy when...

(A demon flies past Piper and Paige, hits the wall and bursts into flame.)

PIPER: (wide-eyed) ... we figure out what's going on.

(A hideously deformed demon runs at amazing speed and growls at Piper and Paige.)

PIPER: Uh-oh.


(Paige throws a potion at the demon, but to no effect. Piper blasts the demon

twice. The demon keeps walking and growling. Piper shrieks and blasts the demon

a third time. The demon collapses.)


PAIGE: That thing's a Krychek?

PIPER: How is that possible?

PAIGE: Who cares? Just vanquish it!

PIPER: I already tried, and Agent Murphy wants us to bring the thing back.

PAIGE: I'm not bringing that thing back!

(A bunch of demons walk in. One of them, Emrick, throws a fireball at Piper and


PIPER: Go, go, go, go!

(Piper and Paige orb out. The fireball goes crashing into the...)





(Piper reads the Book of Shadows. Phoebe is standing next to Piper, holding a

cup of coffee.)

PIPER: See, this is what a Krychek demon is supposed to look like.

PHOEBE: (drinks coffee) Well, maybe the one you guys were following is just a

bigger one.

PIPER: No, this wasn't just bigger. This was like going from you to


PHOEBE: That's so weird.

PIPER: Yeah, scary weird.

(Leo enters, holding two pairs of skis and ski boots.)

PIPER: Oh, good! You found the skis!

LEO: Yeah! They're kind of old, though. Maybe we should just rent new ones, you

know. (Drops the ski boots on his feet.) Ow! Damn it!

PIPER: Watch your language. Wyatt is picking up everything we say lately.

PHOEBE: I'm gonna get some more coffee. Guys want anything?

PIPER: No, thanks. (To Leo) You're okay with those?

LEO: Yes, I got these. Listen, why don't you finish packing? I wanna miss

traffic, okay?

PIPER: I know, I'm gonna, I just, I need to talk to Agent Murphy first about

this demon of his.

LEO: Piper.

PIPER: What, I can't just let it go, can I?

LEO: Yes, you can! Come on, when was the last time we had a weekend together

(enticing voice) alone?

PIPER: (smiles) I know, and I promise nothing is gonna stop that from happening,

I promise, but I... just kinda need to talk to him first.

LEO: Why can't Billie talk to Murphy?

PAIGE: (enters, holding a cell phone) Uhh! Because I cannot find Billie anywhere!

She's not answering. Maybe we could just get her a pager?

PIPER: Well, just keep trying.

PHOEBE: (enters, holding her cup of coffee) Oh. Paige, Henry called for you last


PAIGE: Why? What did he want?

PHOEBE: Uh, I don't know, but I'm pretty sure he wants... you.

PAIGE: That's ridiculous.

PIPER: Why? Don't you like him?


PHOEBE: Really? Then why is your face turning red?

PAIGE: It's not turning red. I probably just put too much blush on.

LEO (laughs) It's... kinda turning red.

(Paige glares at him, Leo immediately stops smiling.)

PIPER: (waves at Phoebe) Okay, why don't you and me go see what the government's

not telling us, and I'll be right back, I swear. (Kisses Leo)

PAIGE: (to Phoebe) Hey, don't you have a lunch date?

PHOEBE: I can't 'til I'm done taking a little hiatus.

PAIGE: From lunch?

PHOEBE: (on her way out) From men!

(Piper and Leo exchange glances.)

PAIGE: (dials Billie's number) OK... Come on, Billie.

(Flash to...)


(Billie peeks at a bunch of demons gathered around the deformed Krychek that

Piper and Paige previously encountered. The Krychek is lying on the floor,

shivering in pain. He morphs to his previous self.)

SOOTHSAYER: Curious. Very curious.

EMRICK: He still attacked me. Why can't I have my revenge?

SOOTHSAYER: Because Margoyle wants to find out how he transformed. Why he became

so powerful.

EMRICK: I don't care. I can't let a lower-level demon get away with...

SOOTHSAYER: You can, and you will, Emrick. Otherwise Margoyle will attack you.

(The Krychek screams and combusts into a pile of smoking ashes.)

EMRICK: I didn't do that!

(Billie walks past behind them. Emrick sees her and follows her into the



(Billie starts searching for some books. Emrick creeps behind her.)

EMRICK: Who are you?

BILLIE: Me? Umm... I'm a student. Here at magic school. Yeah, you know, I-- I

must have got stuck in an astral plane or something. Did you guys possibly

redecorate? (Emrick grabs her throat) Ugh!

(Billie flips the demon on the ground. She draws her athame and holds it by his


BILLIE: Move, and you're dead, understand?

EMRICK: What do you want?

BILLIE: What I want is to find the demon that took my sister fifteen years ago,

but since you and buddies trash this place, I can't find the books that I need.

So you're gonna have to find him for me. (She presses her athame hard, gashing

the demon's neck, causing him to groan in pain.) Her name is Christy. Christy

Jenkins. Ask around. I'll be back.

(Billie punches Emrick, who screams, and she walks away.)

(Flash to...)


(The doorbell rings.)

PAIGE: Ah! Billie, finally!

(Paige opens the manor's door.)

HENRY: (enters, holding a baby, sounds distracted) Hi, how you're doing...

PAIGE: Henry, what are you doing here?

HENRY: I need your help. Baby's mom got sent to prison. I got until the end of

the day to find his dad or he's gonna get put into the system.

PAIGE: And you're telling me this why?

HENRY: (pleading) 'Cause I need you to watch him for me.

PAIGE: Oh, no! I don't do babies. No. Sorry. No.

HENRY: I tried callin'.

PAIGE: Look, you can't just stop by and drop a baby in my lap!

HENRY: Look, you said you're all about doing good, right? Here's your chance.

PAIGE: No, that's not what I meant!

HENRY: Ooh! You know how beautiful your eyes are when you're angry?

PAIGE: Are you trying to charm me?

HENRY: You think I'm charming?

PAIGE: No, I don't!

HENRY: Look, I'm doing this under the radar, okay? I can't keep Ramón in my

office, Social Services could show up, they'll take him. (Paige rolls eyes, but

holds out her arms.) Oh! Thank you. Here you go.

PAIGE: (taking the baby) For the record... I resent this.

HENRY: Yeah, he might need to be changed, too. I owe you! (Leaves quickly)


AGENT MURPHY: Ah! Good you're back. How did it go?

PIPER: (folding arms) Not good!

AGENT MURPHY: What do you mean? Where's our demon?

PIPER: Our demon? Why don't you tell us a little bit more about "our demon"?

PHOEBE: Like how the government got him in the first place.

AGENT MURPHY: Uh... I don't really know. I wasn't in the loop.

PIPER: Well, you need to get in the loop, and fast, because our demon was a

little more powerful than we expected, and I'd like to know why.

AGENT MURPHY: I'm sorry, but I can't tell you what I don't know.

PIPER: (sighs) Phoebe, go get a premonition off him, see if he's lying.

PHOEBE: No, I can't.

PIPER: What do you mean, you can't? Just go touch him.

PHOEBE: Seriously, I can't. I don't really believe in them anymore.

PIPER: Ugh! (Turns to Phoebe) What do you mean?

PHOEBE: Well, they haven't really worked well for me lately, so why should I

listen to them?

PIPER: That's not true.

PHOEBE: Oh, really? Do I look pregnant to you?

AGENT MURPHY: Ladies! Did you g--

PIPER: Hold it. (To Phoebe) I realize why you feel this way, and I understand,

but you can't give up on your gift.

PHOEBE: My gift gave up on me.

PIPER: That is not true!

AGENT MURPHY: Guys! Hey! Did you or didn't you get the demon back? (Piper and

Phoebe glare at him) Well, that was the objective.

PIPER: (sighs) Are you kidding me? We barely wounded it!

AGENT MURPHY: So, you still gotta go get him!

PHOEBE: Dude, are you deaf?

PIPER: What did you guys do to that thing?

AGENT MURPHY: I have no idea, okay? I swear. But if we don't get it off the

streets, we all could get exposed.

PIPER: (to Phoebe) There's the E word again.


(Billie enters, looking preoccupied.)

PAIGE: (holding Ramón) Hey, where've you been?

BILLIE: (bad liar) Class.

PAIGE: Oh, really? I've been trying to call you all morning.

BILLIE: Well, my cell phone died.

PAIGE: (doesn't buy it) Oh? Yeah. Okay. Mm-hmm. (She dials Billie's number,

Billie's cell phone rings in her purse.)

BILLIE: (quickly turns her cell off) Yeah. So, umm... It's a great baby there.

Is it yours?

PAIGE: Forget the baby, okay? (Paige puts Ramón in his basket.) Where were you?

BILLIE: Look. I've been handling this whole demon load just fine, so what I do in

my own time, it's my business.

PAIGE: You know what? You're doing the bratty thing, which means you are

probably doing something you shouldn't be doing. Did you go at magic school?

BILLIE: Yes. Yes, okay, but there's information there on my sister, so what do

you expect?

PAIGE: I expect you to be available when we need you! That is the whole point of

us teaching you!

BILLIE: Well, I'm not a doctor, okay, I can't be available 24/7!

PAIGE: Yes, actually, you can, because you weren't around, I'm stuck taking care

of this baby now!

(Emrick, hideously deformed, shimmers behind Billie and snarls.)

(Billie turns around.)

PAIGE: (orbs baby) Nursery!

EMRICK: Remember me, witch?

PAIGE: You know him?

(Billie throws her knife at Emrick; he groans, claws the knife out of his left

shoulder and throws it at full force on Billie. She gasps and ducks right in

time. Emrick throws a chair and a table out of his way, then hits Billie hard,

scraping her neck.)


(Billie falls down. Emrick walks towards Paige, groaning.)

PAIGE: (orbs Emrick) Magic school!

BILLIE: (pants) Okay, so maybe I know him.





(Phoebe and Piper enter the manor. Phoebe goes through the mail as she talks to


PHOEBE: Can't we just get back to the freaky demon, please?

PIPER: Yeah, we can. After I deal with you.

PHOEBE: Ugh! I don't understand why you can't just let this go?

PIPER: Look, I understand your problem with your premonitions, but why cancel

all your dates?

PHOEBE: Because they're me trying to make my premonitions come true.


PHOEBE: So, it's not working, okay? My conception date has come and gone.

PIPER: Okay, Phoebe, it's okay to feel disappointed.

PHOEBE: No, I'm not disappointed, you know? I'm relieved.

PIPER: So now you don't want a baby?

PHOEBE: No, of course I do. I definitely do. Just not right now, okay? No men,

no babies. Just me. What's so wrong with that?

PIPER: Nothing. Nothing is wrong with that, except for the fact that it's not


PHOEBE: (sighs) Don't you have a ski trip to get ready for? (Notices Billie

sweeping broken glass in the living room.) What the hell?

PIPER: Language!


PHOEBE: Hi! What happened?

BILLIE: Umm... A demon attacked us. I guess I kinda ticked him off at magic


PHOEBE: Magic school? What were you doing there?

BILLIE: Look, Paige already gave me the what were you thinking speech, so...

PIPER: So what were you thinking?

BILLIE: Look, I only went there so I can get more information on my sister.

PHOEBE: I understand you want answers. We want answers too, but that cannot be

your primary focus. (Notices Billie's neck wound) Oh, sweetie, you're hurt!

BILLIE: Oh. No, that's just a scratch.

PHOEBE: Okay, but a hair deeper and you would've needed stitches.

BILLIE: Really, it's not a big deal, I'm getting used to it. So anyway, Paige

thinks the demon did the same Doctor Jekyll and Mister Hyde that the one at

magic school did. So whatever got him all hulked out, he was able to track me.

Which is cool! I mean, bad cool, but still kinda cool.

PIPER: So now there's two of them running around out there?

BILLIE: No, actually, I saw yours go poof back in magic school. He's dead.

PHOEBE: Oh. Murphy will be excited about that.

PIPER: Yeah, but why are all these demons running around on steroids? It doesn't

make any sense.

BILLIE: (eagerly) Do you want me to check the book, so you can still go on your


PIPER: Yeah, sure, uh... thanks. You're still in the doghouse. (Ramón can be

heard crying.)

PHOEBE: That's not yours.

PIPER: That's not mine.


(Ramón is crying, sitting on a chair. Paige, next to him, is mixing something in

a bowl.)

PIPER: (to Ramón) Hi! (to Paige) Where'd you get that baby?

PAIGE: Oh, Henry, uh, dropped him off with me.

PIPER: Uh, because?

PAIGE: Because he likes to see me squirm. No, apparently, the baby's mom is in

jail, and we're trying to find the dad.

PHOEBE: Well, that's very noble of him.

PAIGE: Yeah, well, ten bucks says he knows where to find him.

PHOEBE: Told you she likes him.


PAIGE: (coaxes the baby into eating) Yeee-hmm!

PIPER: Hi, buddy! Does he have a name?

PAIGE: Yeah. This is Ramón.

PHOEBE: So, uh, Billie told us what happened.

PAIGE: Yeah. I talked to her about it, you know, but I can't really blame her.

PIPER: She said the demon looked like the Krychek.

PAIGE: Yeah, only in size and in power. Billie said when she confronted him

before, he wasn't nearly as big. Did you get anything out of Agent Murphy?

PHOEBE: Just that he wants the demon back, which is kind of disturbing. Now that

Billie saw him die, I don't really think it's our problem anymore.

PIPER: I'd still like to know what's making them so powerful.

PAIGE: Okay, well, I have to get Henry to take this baby somewhere else because

it is too dangerous around here. Pheebs, will you watch him for me?

PHOEBE: What? No, I ca-- I can't, I have stuff that I have to do, I mean, you

should probably take him with you, right?

PAIGE: I can't! Social Services might be there waiting to take him. Oh, come on,

you love babies.

PHOEBE: Yeah, I know, I'm just, you know, focusing on other things right now.

PIPER: (takes the baby and gives it to Phoebe) You know, I think this is

precisely what you should be focusing on.

PHOEBE: Uh-- uh-- I mean-- uh--

PIPER: Come on! She's gotta go to Henry, I gotta go romance my husband, it's

just a baby, it doesn't bite.

PAIGE: Did I miss something?

PHOEBE: Nothing.

PIPER: A lot. Mmm. See ya!

(Piper leaves the kitchen.)

PAIGE: All right. (Gives Phoebe the baby's blanket) Here you go, honey.

(Paige follows Piper.)

PHOEBE: OK, little one. Apple sauce...

(Flash to...)


(Several demons are mumbling, gathered around the main table. Emrick lies on it.)

EMRICK: (shivering in pain) What's happening to me?

MARGOYLE: (walks in) They're dying like all the others. It's happening all over

the underworld. What have you learned?

SOOTHSAYER: I'm still studying his bo--

MARGOYLE: (grabbing the soothsayer by the throat) Studying? I don't have time

for you to study. I want you to know. (Releases the soothsayer.) I want to

harness this great power before another overlord does. Without meeting his fate.

SOOTHSAYER: At least this one's lived the longest. He may hold the key to

preventing the power from killing you.


SOOTHSAYER: If I can isolate the one cell fragment in his blood that's causing


(Emrick bursts into flame and combusts into a pile of ashes. The soothsayer

steps back, startled. Not overly pleased, Margoyle powers up an energy ball.)

SOOTHSAYER: Margoyle! Please! I just need a little more time!

(Margoyle throws the energy ball at him. The soothsayer screams and explodes.)

MARGOYLE: Time's up. (A Tracker walks towards the table.) What do you want,


TRACKER: Last night I saw The Charmed Ones attack the Krychek.


TRACKER: This morning, their new witch attacked Emrick. Both demons had the

power you seek.

MARGOYLE: Which means they must be off to the power as well. Perhaps we should

let them find it for us. (The tracker nods.) Follow them.

(Flash to...)


(Billie touches her neck scar. She looks uneasy. She flips through the Book of

Shadows. Leo enters.)

BILLIE: Oh, hi. Hey.

LEO: Hey.

BILLIE: How's, uh, packing going?

LEO: Ah, it's great. Great. Two-day trip, Piper thinks she needs a third

suitcase. (Leo takes a suitcase in the back of the attic.) Making any progress?

BILLIE: No. There's nothing in this book that says how to supercharge a demon.

LEO: Well, it means none of their ancestors confronted anything like it before.

It's just a book of their experiences. Have you started your own Book of Shadows?

BILLIE: No. Why, should I?

LEO: Yeah, I think every witch should have one. They can pass it off from

generation to generation.


LEO: You're okay?

BILLIE: Yeah. You know, I'm just a little worried. I mean, all about all these...


LEO: Well, get used to it.

BILLIE: (calls Leo on his way out) Hey! Are witches and demons different species?

LEO: What?!

BILLIE: You know, like dogs and cats, how they can't get each other sick and


LEO: (thinks) Uh... I guess so. Why?

BILLIE: OK. Good. No reason. Have a good trip.

LEO: Thanks. If we ever get there.

(Billie watches Leo leave. She flips through the Book of Shadows absentmindedly,

then touches her scar again, looking queasy.)


HENRY: (on the phone) Well, if we check implement records, we're at least gonna

know where he worked last. I mean, he has to feed himself, right? He needs some

food. Bring me that file then.

(Paige enters.)

HENRY: (on the phone) Oh, yeah.


HENRY: (still on the phone) Yeah, you have it, I don't have it. Just bring it

here. (Henry hangs up. To Paige) Is everything okay? Where's the baby?

PAIGE: Ramón is fine, he's with my sister, but you know, you gotta find another

place for him to stay.

HENRY: Why, what's wrong with your place?

PAIGE: It's just not a good place for him to be right now.

HENRY: Why not?

PAIGE: It just isn't!

HENRY: More secrets, huh?

PAIGE: Henry. We barely know each other.

HENRY: You don't want to tell me this, fine. It's okay.

PAIGE: It's not that... yeah, actually, it is that. Anyway, can you please find

somewhere else for him to go?

HENRY: Paige, I can't.

PAIGE: Why not?

HENRY: Seriously, Paige, if I don't find the father before Social Services finds

out, they're gonna stick Ramón in a foster home. They will do that.

PAIGE: (sits down) Well, you know, I mean, sometimes, foster homes aren't all

that bad.

HENRY: (fiddles with papers) It was for me.

PAIGE: You were in a foster home?

HENRY: Look... I just need a little more time, okay? I know I can find the

father, he used to be a parolee of mine.

PAIGE: Was the mom too?

HENRY: Yeah. But the dad, he turned out great, I mean, he straightened out his

act, and... ugh, he probably doesn't even know he has a kid.

PAIGE: Are you sure it's his?

HENRY: Yeah. Yeah, I mean, she told me. Ramón's the one thing she wouldn't lie

about. But I've been showing his pictures all around where he used to hang,

and... just nobody knows anything.

(Cop enters.)

COP: Hey! Got those implement records you wanted.

(Paige discreetly snitches a photo of the dad and puts it in her back pocket.)

HENRY: Ah... did happen, huh? This is what I want.

PAIGE: Okay, uh, well, I'm gonna go. The sooner we can find him, the better.

HENRY: Paige.

PAIGE: Yeah?

HENRY: Thanks.

PAIGE: You're welcome.

(The cop ogles at Paige as she's leaving.)

HENRY: What you're looking at?


(Piper and Leo are packing. A lot of clothes are spread out on the bed. They're

taking an awful lot of stuff for a two-day trip. Leo tries to close a overly

full suitcase.)

LEO: You sure you need all this stuff?


PHOEBE: (enters, holding a crying Ramón) Just so you know, I know what you're

trying to do, and it's not gonna work.

PIPER: Okay, just so you know, I know what you're trying to do, and I will be


PHOEBE: I just want to stop him from fussing, that's all.

PIPER: Phoebe, come on! You're a natural with babies.

PHOEBE: (looks at Ramón) Not right now I'm not!

PIPER: For crying out loud, he's probably just hungry. Just take him down to the

kitchen, heat up a bottle.

PHOEBE: That's a good plan! (Hands Piper the baby) Here you go. (Leaves speedily)

PIPER: No, no, no, no, no, no! Wait, wait, wait, wait! No, no! Wait, wait, wait!

Phoebe, no, don't--! Damn it!

LEO: (mocking) Language!

PIPER: Now sure, now he stopped fussing.

LEO: Talk about a natural.

PIPER: Yes, and I have the stretch marks to prove it, thank you. What am I gonna

do with Phoebe?

LEO: Worry about her when you get home. What's the big deal? She takes a little

break from dating.

PIPER: The big deal is it's not who she is! The woman is a love machine, and if

she gives up on men, something is very very wrong. And I know it's just that

she's lost faith in her premonitions.

LEO: So... making her watch a baby is gonna make it better?

PIPER: Look, I'm working with what I've got. (Looks at Ramón) Hi! Maybe we

should just stay.

LEO: Oh, for God's sakes.

(We hear broken glass and Phoebe screaming. Piper and Leo startle.)

PIPER: (gives Leo the baby) Here. Take this. Take this, take this, take this!

Stay here.


(As Piper walks down the stairs, Phoebe flies through the living room and lands

hard on a small table, breaking it into pieces. Piper runs to her and helps her

get up. She sees a scary-looking grunting creature walk towards the living room.)

(Piper's about to blast the creature.)

PHOEBE: No, Piper! It's Billie. (Deformed Billie growls menacingly at Piper and

Phoebe.) No! Don't! You might blow her up. (Deformed Billie hurls a table across

the room with tremendous strength, breaking it, then jumps towards Piper and

Phoebe.) OK! Blow her up.

(Piper's blow pushes Billie against the wall, knocking her unconscious.)





(Phoebe and Piper both look at unconscious Deformed Billie.)

PHOEBE: I don't know what happened. I mean, one second, she was helping me warm

up the milk, and the next, she was throwing me around the room like a rag doll.

PAIGE: (enters) What happened? Another demon attack?

PHOEBE: Not another demon, it's... Billie.

PAIGE: That's Billie? What happened to her?

PIPER: We don't know.

PAIGE: Where's Ramón?

PIPER: He's safe, he's with Leo. Uh... right now, we need to figure out how to

help her.

PHOEBE: Before she goes poof, too.

PAIGE: Uh... maybe we should call the Elders.

PIPER: Maybe you're right. I'll go do that. Um... Paige?

PAIGE: Yeah. I'm gonna get the baby out of here. I've got a photo of his dad, so

it should take about two secs to scry for him.

(Paige walks to the attic.)

PIPER: Phoebe, why don't you stay with, uh... Billie here?

PHOEBE: Okay. Hurry!

(Phoebe crouches and looks at Billie, worried. Billie moans weakly.)


(An elder orbs in.)

ELDER: We know why you called.

PIPER: Are you spying on us again?

ELDER: No. But we know what happened to Billie. What happened to her is

happening all over the magical community. We don't know what's causing it yet.

It seems to be some sort of a... virus, and it's spreading fast.

PIPER: I don't understand. How is that...

ELDER: Possible? I'm afraid whatever this virus is, Piper, wherever it came from,

it doesn't discriminate against good or evil. It can infect all magical

creatures. Even you and your sisters.

PIPER: So what do we do?

ELDER: We have to find a cure. An antidote. But before we do that, we have to

find the source first.

PIPER: How much time does Billie have?

ELDER: Not long. Although we have learned that the more powerful you are, the

quicker the virus consumes you.


PAIGE: (comes in, holding Ramón) Hi, hey.

HENRY: Paige, what are you doing? You can't bring him here!

PAIGE: Oh, it's okay, I found his dad.

HENRY: What?!

PAIGE: Yeah. Ernesto. (Hands him a slip of paper) There. That's got his work

number, his home number, uh... place where he likes to go have a drink. Might

wanna talk to him about that new dad and all. Being a new father...

HENRY: Wai-- wait, wait. I don't understand. How did you find him? I've been

looking for him everywhere.

PAIGE: (shrugs) I have my ways.

HENRY: Oh, really. Would you care to elaborate?

PAIGE: No. Not really. Look, you wanted the baby to have a chance, and now he

has one.

HENRY: (gratefully) I don't know what to say.

PAIGE: You don't have to say anything. My pleasure. Okay, I gotta go.

HENRY: Is everything all right?

PAIGE: No, not really. A friend of mine is in quite a bit of trouble.

HENRY: Maybe I can help.

PAIGE: It's very sweet of you, but no. Take care of the baby, okay?


(Phoebe holds a pillow for Billie, but as she crouches to adjust it, Billie


PHOEBE: (calls) Piper! Something's happening to Billie!

(Piper rushes in. Billie reverts to her previous self.)

PIPER: Oh no.

PHOEBE: Oh no? What does oh no mean? What did the Elder say?

PIPER: They think it's some kind of virus and that she must have contracted it

from the scratch.

PHOEBE: So the demon gave this to her?

PIPER: If we don't find an antidote soon... she'll die.

PHOEBE: No, I mean, we can't let her die. There's gotta be something we can do.

We can't just do nothing, Piper.

PIPER: Well, we gotta figure out where it all started and who it all started

from. Paige, where are you?

(Paige orbs in.)

PAIGE: What? What happened?

PIPER: We gotta get to Agent Murphy's, I'll explain later. Quick, quick, quick...

(Piper and Paige orb out.)


(Agent Murphy is going through some paperwork. Piper and Paige orb in. Agent

Murphy startles.)

AGENT MURPHY: Y-you can't just... (Piper blows up his phone.) What the...

PAIGE: (waves her hand, locking up the door) Lock!

PIPER: You're not telling us everything, Agent Murphy, and we're running out of


PAIGE: You need to tell us everything you know about that demon, now!

AGENT MURPHY: But I've told you everything I know.

PIPER: See, I don't like that answer. (Piper blows up Agent Murphy's desk lamp.)

AGENT MURPHY: Are you out of your mind?! This is a Federal office!

PIPER: Listen to me. Whatever you guys did to that demon created a virus, a

virus that can infect every magical creature there is. If we don't find a cure,

and soon, Billie will die. Do you remember Billie? Cute, blonde, perky? Yes,

she's gonna die. So we would like some answers, and now. Paige?

PAIGE: (waves her hand) Chair!

(Paige orbs the chair Murphy's sitting in; he falls hard on the floor.)

PIPER: You're gonna tell us how this whole thing started. (Agent Murphy stands

up) Or the next thing I'm gonna blow up will be you. (A worried Agent Murphy

adjusts his tie.)





AGENT MURPHY: (opens a file cabinet and takes a folder out of it) I did some

digging after you left. (Gives Piper the folder.) Look, all right, if I would've

known, I would've told you, but it wasn't cleared for all the details.

(Piper sits down. Piper and Paige start going through the folder's contents.)

PAIGE: They found a demon in the desert?

AGENT MURPHY: Yeah, but it was a fluke. He was injured, that's the only way the

task force was able to capture it. Government just wanted to... wanted to study

it, you know. Learn from it.

PIPER: I keep seeing the word "injected". What did they inject him with?

AGENT MURPHY: Human blood. They were just trying to find a way to combine it

with the demon's blood to extract his powers.

PAIGE: Powers? Why?

AGENT MURPHY: To inject this serum back into people. (Paige lifts eyebrows.)


PIPER: To make them more powerful?

AGENT MURPHY: But it didn't work. When the test subject didn't react, project

was shut down. Apparently, when they were decided what to do with the demon,

that's when he escaped from the containment unit.

PAIGE: So now he's out there spreading the virus that you guys created?

PIPER: You said the test subject didn't show any side effects?


PAIGE: Where are you going with this?

PIPER: I'm thinking the test subject's blood probably holds the antidote we're

looking for, if he was immune to its effects. (Piper stands up.) Where can we

find him?

AGENT MURPHY: I don't know. I mean, he was only referred to here as Patient X.

Like I said, when the experiment was shut down, all his records were destroyed.

PAIGE: There has to be something that we can use to find him.

AGENT MURPHY: (takes folder) Well, the only thing I can think of is this I.D.

tag we got here. (Agent Murphy hands Piper a plastic slip, she examines it.) But

I already scanned the barcode and all the information has already been erased.

He could be anywhere.

(Fade to...)


(Billie is lying on the couch, her eyes closed, covered with a blanket, looking

sick. Phoebe, sitting by her, holds her a glass of water.)

BILLIE: (drinks) Thanks. I must be pretty bad off if you're waiting on me hand

and foot.

PHOEBE: Well, don't get used to it, 'cause you're going to be just fine.

BILLIE: Am I? I'm dying, aren't I?

PHOEBE: No, you are not dying. Listen, do you have any idea how many times I

have almost died in the last seven years?

BILLIE: Yeah, but this is different. I'm sorry, I should've listened to you.

PHOEBE: Stop it. It's okay. We're gonna save you, and we're gonna save magic,

while we're at it.

BILLIE: How can you save magic if you don't even believe in your own anymore?

Heard you talking to Piper.

PHOEBE: I'll be right back. I'm gonna get you some more ice.

(Phoebe walks to the kitchen.)


(Phoebe, holding a plastic bowl, tries to use the ice maker, but it doesn't make

any ice. She opens the refrigerator's door, then suddenly slams it shut and

throws the plastic bowl. She seems completely lost. She sits down and holds her

head in her hands.)

(Paige and Piper orb in. Phoebe sniffles.)

PAIGE: How's Billie?

PHOEBE: Not good. What'd you guys find out?

PIPER: It was a government secret experiment. They mixed things they shouldn't


PAIGE: Basically, their demon was the outbreak monkey that caused all of this.

PHOEBE: Okay, so if they made it, then they must have a cure, right?

PIPER: Well, they don't even know how they created it.

PHOEBE: Yeah, you don't know that for sure. I mean, for all we know, this

could've been their intention.

PIPER: Phoebe, it's not a conspiracy. They just screwed up. We had a shot at an

antidote, and they screwed that up too.

PHOEBE: What shot?

PAIGE: They injected somebody with Krychek's blood and it had no effect.

PHOEBE: Okay, then maybe the cure is in the blood, right?

PIPER: (sits next to Phoebe and shows her the ID tag) Okay, look, this is all

we've got, and what we don't have is enough time. We've gotta find this patient

X, convince him to give us some of his blood so that we can make an antidote,

fix us and then fix Billie. Even if we pool all of our powers together, we may

not have enough time.

PHOEBE: Then let's get stronger. Let's get Billie to infect us.

PAIGE: What? Are you nuts? Phoebe, we could die.

PHOEBE: Not if we find the antidote first.

PIPER: Still, there's no guarantee it's gonna work. It's very risky.

PHOEBE: (scoffs) Yeah... Tell that to Billie. Look, I don't see the point of

having powers if we can't use them to save someone that we care about.

(After Paige, Piper and Phoebe leave the kitchen, the ironing board morphs into

the Tracker demon. The Tracker smirks, then shimmers out.)


(Billie, still on the couch, seems lifeless. Phoebe, worried, runs to her and

shakes her gently.)

PHOEBE: Billie? Billie, wake up. Billie, wake up. (Billie opens her eyes. Phoebe

sighs, relieved.) I think we figured out a way to save you. But we're gonna need

your help. (Phoebe takes Billie's athame.)

BILLIE: (weak voice) Wait. No, no, no.

PHOEBE: It's okay. Trust us. (Slices her hand)

PAIGE: (to Piper) Shall we tell Leo?

PIPER: No. I know what he's gonna say. (Phoebe gives Piper the athame and

touches Billie's wound. Piper takes Paige's hand.) Come on. (Paige groans in

protest.) Oh, come on, it won't hurt... much. (Slices Paige's hand.)

PAIGE: Eech.

(Piper slices her hand. Paige, Piper and Phoebe press their hands together.

Billie starts shuddering, Piper freezes her.)

PAIGE: How long is that gonna last?

PIPER: Hopefully, long enough.


LEO: I haven't found an antidote yet.

PIPER: That's okay. I think we have.

(Piper cracks her neck. The Charmed Ones morph into scary-looking creatures.)

LEO: (aghast) Holy crap...

DEFORMED PIPER: (shrieks) Language!

(Deformed Piper slaps Leo so hard he flies across the attic and lands crashing

into a bunch of boxes.)





DEFORMED PHOEBE: (grabs Piper by the shoulders) Leave Leo alone!

DEFORMED PIPER: (struggles) He's my husband! (Paige pushes Piper.) What did you

do that for?

DEFORMED PAIGE: (pushes Piper again) I just felt like it!

LEO: (stands up) Stop it! You guys are gonna kill each other! How did this


DEFORMED PHOEBE: We made it happen!

DEFORMED PIPER: All right, we have work to do.

(Phoebe wipes off all the books on a table and unfolds a map. Paige holds her

pendulum, Piper gives her the ID tag. The pendulum starts swinging at incredible

speed. Leo looks worried. Cut to...)


(A janitor is cleaning the floor with a wet mop. Piper, Phoebe and Paige orb in.

The janitor looks up and freezes in horror.)

JANITOR: My god.

(Four demons, one deformed, shimmer behind him. One of them invokes a fireball.)




(The demon throws a fireball at the janitor. Paige holds her hand up and

deflects the fireball.)


(The fireball hurls back towards a demon, vanquishing him. Piper runs towards

the deformed demon and keeps blasting him. They fight. Phoebe kicks a demon; the

force of the blow vanquishes him. Paige flips another demon on the ground,

vanquishing him as well. Piper slams the deformed demon against the wall, and

rips his heart off. The demon screams and explodes. Margoyle shimmers behind the

janitor, gashing his arm. He smiles smugly, displaying his bloody fingertip, and

shimmers out.)

JANITOR: (terrified, to The Charmed Ones) What do you want from me?

DEFORMED PAIGE: We want you to save magic.


DEFORMED PHOEBE: (nods and grunts) Yeah.

(Fade to...)


(Billie wakes up, looking fresh again. She looks around, and sits up.)

PHOEBE: (comes in with a cup of coffee, hands it to Billie) Whoa! Easy! Easy.


BILLIE: Umm... what happened?

PHOEBE: Cliff Notes version: we hulked out, kicked ass, and saved the world. You

know, just another day at the office.

BILLIE: Yeah, I can see that.

PHOEBE: Uh... We got the antidote to the Elders, and everyone is being cured

right now as we speak.

BILLIE: What about the demons?

PHOEBE: They got to the antidote too.

BILLIE: You guys risked yourselves to save me.

PHOEBE: Well, we gotta keep you around so you can find your sister, right?

BILLIE: I don't know what to say.

PHOEBE: You don't have to say anything. We think of you as part of the family

now. Not gonna let anything happen to you.

(Paige and Piper orb in.)

PIPER: Hey, sunshine! It's good to see some color in your cheeks.

PAIGE: Yeah, grey and pasty - not your color scheme.

PHOEBE: How'd it go with Murphy?

PIPER: Well, he decided we were a little too difficult to work with, so I don't

think we'll be hearing from him again anytime soon.

PHOEBE: (mock indignation) How rude!


PAIGE: Well, if you guys will excuse me, I'm gonna go check on little Ramón.

PIPER: Don't you mean Henry?

PAIGE: No. I mean Ramón.

PHOEBE: Kiss him for me.

PAIGE: Henry?

PHOEBE: No! Ramón.

PAIGE: Oh. Okay.

(Paige leaves. Piper smiles.)

PIPER: He got to you, didn't he? The baby.

PHOEBE: Don't you have some kind of ski trip to get ready for?

PIPER: Yeah.


(Phoebe laughs with Billie.)

(Fade to...)


ERNESTO: Why didn't Tina tell me we had a kid?

HENRY: (holding Ramón) Look, Tina's a little messed up right now, okay? That's

why she's back in prison, she didn't make it. But you did! Now your son Ramón

needs you.

ERNESTO: I don't know if I can do this, man.

HENRY: I know you can, Ernesto.

ERNESTO: Don't you think he'll be better off with somebody else, you know?

HENRY: He doesn't have anybody else. It's you or the state, buddy. Ernesto, look

at me. Too many sons, they grew up without their dads. That's how you got where

you were a while back, right? Now you got a chance to break that cycle. Do right

by him, and by you.

ERNESTO: (nods) How do I hold him?

HENRY: (gives him Ramón) I don't know, man. You just do. Cradle his head, there.

You got him?

ERNESTO: Yeah. (Looks at Ramón) Kinda looks like me, don't he?

HENRY: Yeah, he does. And I got you some diapers and stuff, just to get you

started, you know. You gotta heat up the milk, too, though, right? But I mean,

not too hot. Call the lady at Social Services if you have any questions. (Gives

Ernesto a bag.) You got it? Here you go. And I'll come by later, I'll check upon


ERNESTO: Okay. Thanks, Henry.

HENRY: Don't thank me, you can thank the lady who found you.

ERNESTO: What lady?

HENRY: Paige Matthews. (Paige enters at this very moment, Henry doesn't see her.)

Beautiful lady, great smile, a little wacky? (Paige stays at the doorway,

folding her arms.) She didn't find you?


HENRY: All right, man. Get out of here... dad. Take care of your son. (Ernesto

leaves. Henry turns around and sees Paige.)

PAIGE: (walks in) So, uh... what happened to the big lug who didn't know a thing

about babies?

HENRY: Well, I guess I'm a quick study.

PAIGE: You're sure it wasn't just an excuse to talk to me again?

HENRY: I guess you're gonna have your secrets, so I'll have mine.

PAIGE: (nods) Fair enough. So I've got a great smile?

HENRY: Yeah, you do.

(They both smile at each other.)


(Phoebe walks down the hallway. She stops as she sees Ramón's blanket laying on

a crib. She walks to it and touches it.)

(White flash to...)


(Phoebe turns around.)


(She sees her future self, crouching, holding her little girl's hands.)

FUTURE PHOEBE: Ooh, hi! Did you have a good day at school?


FUTURE PHOEBE: Do you have homework? (Future Phoebe laughs, then kisses her

little girl's hand. She turns around, sees Phoebe and walks over to her.) I knew

you'd come here sooner or later.

PHOEBE: Really? How's that?

FUTURE PHOEBE: Well, because six years ago, I was you standing there talking to


PHOEBE: Wait, so if you are me, then who are you talking to?

FUTURE PHOEBE: Don't try to figure it out. It'll hurt our head.

PHOEBE: Our head?

FUTURE PHOEBE: The important thing is is that you're here now. For a reason. And

to find answers.

PHOEBE: Okay, you know what, don't get all cryptic with me, please, not after

the day I've had today.

FUTURE PHOEBE: Oh, I remember the day you had. It's the day you lost faith in

your premonitions because of all you've been through and all your

disappointments. You were promised something, something that means the world to

you, and you're afraid you might not get it.


FUTURE PHOEBE: I'm living proof of that. And so is she. (They both look at their

little girl.)

(White flash to...)


(End of Phoebe's vision.)

(Phoebe smiles.)

LEO: (off-screen) Piper, please!

PIPER: Oh, come on! What's one more pair of shoes? (Sees Phoebe and walks over

to her.) Are you all right?

PHOEBE: (still smiling) Yeah. Never better.