01x07 - Tomorrow the Green Grass

[bunniefuu]

Previously on Remedy...

Sorry, guys, I'm out.

I saw your hand shake.

Zoe... you don't really know me.

Woman: You're supposed to be looking after Griff.

He's welcome to stay with you!

A recovering addict with a functional alcoholic, really?

YOU SAID I WASN'T A NATURAL SURGEON!

Well, you're better than that! Honey, you're fine.

DOES THIS LOOK FINE to you?

♪

(Indistinct talking)

Man: Looks like there's plenty of room back there.

Nurse: For sick people.

I get sick all the time.

Can I go in and see him? You all need to sit down, preferably across the street. You're late.

No I'm not. I'm never...

It's a madhouse today, and I'm cutting down on gluten; in my mind, you're late.

Exam room one. Have fun.

Hey, bro, are you a doctor or something?

The triage nurse will check you in for whatever it is.

Oh, no no no. We're just worried about Forrest, man. She says we can't go see him.

Sorry, are you family? Relation?

Of course. Bass player.

Yeah, I got patients to see.

OK, guys, either sit down or hit the road, I'm warning you. Right now.

Alright!

Sorry.

You're cute, but the guy I slept with last night would know better than to wear that to a big interview.

Yeah, that guy took off actually. I ran into him in the hallway, it was kinda awkward.

You kinda look like a waiter.

Ah, look. I didn't exactly build up a wardrobe of nice suits while I was in Thailand, OK?

I have done plenty of school admission interviews. I can help.

It's not really an interview; it's more like a pre-interview, sort of thing.

Brian has a connection to the dean of admissions.

We'll find something then. When?

Noon. Hospital.

We have plenty of time.

First step is to get you out of that busboy uniform. (Zoe laughing)

Mr. Forrest Woods.

I'm Dr. Decker. It says here that you suffered from blurred vision. How long is that?

I need to get this sorted, Doc. I've got to be at Rochester for sound check, I can't see 3 feet in front of my face.

Mr. Woods, I'm gonna start a standard eye exam. You can put your pants on.

Ah. Figured I'd speed things up.

I'm looking at a 4-hour drive, and the border is a bitch, y'know how that is.

Do you always have trouble standing up straight? Are you in any pain?

You try stage diving with only 20 people in the audience, see how straight you stand.

You ever think of maybe not doing that?

Dr. Decker. Need you in trauma, now.

Found unconscious on her porch, fell off a ladder.

Vitals stable on scene and during transport.

She's got a good airway, equal breath sounds...

Scalp laceration at her left hairline.

Possible traumatic brain injury. Babinski reflex?

No response.

Ah. Possible spinal cord damage.

OK, let's log roll her, take a look at her back.

You take the head. You two, with me along her side.

On my count, one, two three.

Easy, easy.

OK there's no obvious signs of spinal trauma, but we'll need imaging. Back down.

One, two, three.

Let's get X-rays stat and get her in the queue for CT.

Woman: OK, IV wide open.

Where do you need me?

Out in the hall, Dr. Decker.

Nurse Patel said it was urgent. Yeah, it is. Take a look.

You got some calls to make.

Ugh, I don't know what to do. I wanted you to see it.

Ugh, it's getting tighter already. By the wedding I'll have to wear a tarp.

You look radiant!

I threw up twice on the way here.

You'll be in your second trimester, and we'll book a seamstress. Stop stressing.

Mel, sorry.

It's your first day back, all I can do is talk about myself.

How was your time off? Feel better?

I've only got the OR booked for another 15 minutes...

So quit avoiding the question.

It was great. And, now I'm back.

I asked how you're feeling.

Compared to?

You walked out of a surgery.

I had the flu.

You never take time off.

It was a bad flu.

So bad you got drunk, showed up at the strip club and started screaming at Dad?

(Cell phone ringing)

Seriously, Mel, what happened?

Hi, hon. Whatever you do, don't come to the OR!

Mel's with me. We're on our way.

Melissa, hey, it's Dad checking in.

Again. First day back, just thought I'd see if you're OK.

I guess I'll find you later.

(Cell phone vibrating)

Brian. What can I do for you?

I'll be right there.

EMS found her with a GCS of 8 and no apparent motor activity in her legs.

How is she?

Stabilized, but still out.

A neighbour called it in.

Where's Griff?

MIA.

Didn't pick up when I called.

He has that interview today, maybe he's...

What? Hiding?

I don't know. Studying? I don't know.

You mind calling him again?

Will do.

Why am I not surprised?

Sandy: Mel!

It's OK, guys. She's gonna be OK. Your mom's gonna be OK.

(Theme music)

No. No.

Not, definitely not.

Well, we could just always get back to bed.

No, I am not gonna be your excuse for missing your interview. How about... this one?

With those pants you had on before.

OK. So, I got some time if you wanna go grab some breakfast.

No dice.

I know this great little greasy diner, we could...

I've got a rule. No breakfast. Not yet.

As in before noon?

Breakfast equals commitment.

Or it equals we're hungry.

OK. Can you just forget about it?

So you'll sleep with me, you'll dress me, but... breakfast is some kind of scary hurdle for you. Seriously?

You're insulted.

No, no, it's fine. I mean, I get it.

Alright, I don't get it, but it's cool, whatever.

You look good.

Look, I gotta go, but the house is empty, my dad's not here, if you want to go catch up on some shut-eye.

You did keep me up pretty late.

Yeah, you can even grab something to eat, you know, alone.

And then when I get back in a couple hours, we can pick up where we left off.

Good luck.

(Door opening)

(Door closing)

"Breakfast equals commitment"? Idiot!

What was she doing, changing a light bulb way up on a ladder?

And why does she have to be drunk while she's doing it?

We don't know why she fell.

Where's that porter?

She should be in Imaging by now. I'm sure someone will be here any minute now.

She reeks of booze.

Where the hell is that porter?

Sorry, I'm sorry. Allen, a word?

Man: So close!

Man: Come on, guys! Please!

Man: Three kicks, Pauly. Here we go, new record. Oh!

Man: Pauly, mistake!

Woman: What?

Sheila McCabe?

Always with your nose in a book, huh?

Griffin Conner! Ha! Ha!

Where the hell have you been?

Other side of the world mostly. How's your big brother?

Oh. You know Hugh, still throwing the same legendary parties.

We have missed you!

What is this? A school uniform? I don't usually, uh...

Do you need to see a doctor? 'Cause I can...

No, I am here with these jokers. My boyfriend's band.

Scratch. He's in there with a doc.

I never thought of you as the groupie type.

Funny guy.

I'm their guitar tech. You're ever gonna pick up your phone? You gotta get to Trauma. Fast.

I told them it was your ex-wife, so Imaging is gonna make her a priority.

So what are we dealing with here?

Well, her pupils are equal and reactive...

So, it isn't a serious head injury.

Allen, there's no apparent motor activity in her legs.

(Sigh) You've called neurology?

Ready to go as soon as she's in CT.

Griffin.

What's going on?

Thought maybe you were already in your interview.

Not for another hour. Why is everybody...

Is that Mom?

What happened?

She hit her head.

Possibly her spine.

Paralyzed?

We don't know what's going on yet.

Just one day. Why can't she go one day without drinking?

Griffin, you need to talk to your friends in ER.

They're not my friends.

Security's about 2 minutes away from calling the cops.

What's going on?

Nothing, it's OK. I'll be back in a minute.

Mel, don't you have a surgery schedule?

I'm cancelling it obviously.

We're not going anywhere.

Both of you, go to work.

They're gonna run some tests. I'll stay here. I'll keep you posted.

Call me the second anything changes.

I'll double-check on that porter.

Are they gone?

I thought they'd never shut up.

Thanks for keeping your pants on, Mr. Woods.

It's really boring in here, Doc.

How long has your vision been giving you trouble?

About 3 weeks. At first, I thought it was just a hangover.

But I haven't had a 3-week hangover since I discovered absinthe.

Any headaches?

Just my bass player.

Sensitivity to light?

I usually sleep in, so...

Severe bumps to the head? Trouble breathing?

Actually, I've been getting winded on stage.

Any pain anywhere?

Well, my neck, my back, but they're a mess, 'cause of the, you know...

Stage diving, right. Any gastrointestinal problems lately?

Oh, yeah. It almost broke up the band. We're gonna have to get hazmat on the bus.

Mm-hmm, I'm gonna order you a few tests, but I'm gonna need to examine your hips first.

Oh, well... You do what you gotta do, Doc.

(Woman laughing)

You guys, enough already!

Pauly, look out!

OW!

Ah, buddy!

Hey, he's back!

Look. I got something I gotta do, but Nurse Patel, she's serious, she's gonna call the cops.

OK right, absolutely. Thanks.

Hey! You guys better not get us kicked out while Forrest is stuck in there, just...

Nurse: Listen to her.

No, no, no, you guys, you can't pile that stuff here.

Where else could we leave it?

Tour bus.

Lock's busted. And parking, man, how do these sick people afford it?

Come on, Griffy, can you help us out?

I wasn't drunk, thank you very much.

I never said you were.

Sure, but our lovely daughters did.

How much did you hear?

You know, people sometimes wish they could be at their funeral? A cautionary tale.

You know how much they love you.

They love you. Since we split up, they simply tolerate me.

What happened, Rebecca?

I wasn't drunk.

Drunk, I know. But drinking?

Sure. There were a few martinis. My legs?

Could be just a bruised spinal cord. The paralysis might be temporary.

Or it might not.

They'll take you to CT in a sec and then a neuro consult.

My legs aren't numb because I fell; I fell because my legs went numb.

Numb before you fell?

Then, this could be anything: a disease, wear and tear, some sort of polyneuropathy.

I want you to be my doctor.

Rebecca. You're family.

We're divorced.

Still. The kids.

I'm a lawyer. I know what release to sign.

It isn't ethical.

I need you to take care of me.

Tell me when you can feel this.

There.

Down an inch. Can I borrow this?

We used to do this for the kids, in the kitchen doorway when they were little to see how they grew. The marks are still there.

Griffy was the fastest.

Yeah, this is Dr. Conner.

Where the hell is that porter for Rebecca Baker?

Maybe this is the wake-up call my mom needs, you know, about her drinking?

If it is, it might be coming a little too late.

Don't say that!

OK. Fine. Sorry. Fine.

My mom might be paralyzed.

Sandy, there's a long way to go yet. You just have to be patient. And who knows, you're right, maybe, when Rebecca gets through this...

I don't know if I'm more mad at her, or myself for thinking she can change.

That's family for you.

Well, you're marrying into this one, so welcome to the fun.

Good vacation?

Great. It was great.

Well, your skin looks fantastic. You've got to tell me the name of that place.

I just stayed in town.

Oh, staycation!

I really need to... Excuse me.

Sure. I should, uh... do the final patient interview.

Staycation, huh?

You're in my spot.

I called a few times.

Can you shove over? Seriously.

Are you feeling any better?

Listen. Getting back on the horse?

It's the best thing for you.

You know what? You got me in there, right?

I got your back. Not that you got anything to worry about.

Tell you what, let me take you out for dinner tonight.

You know, to celebrate.

Would you just...

Would you just give me a minute of peace? I have a routine.

Right.

Guess I will see you in there.

The guy's still on blood thinners. Nobody told him to stop taking them.

So, what? It's off?

For now.

You disappointed?

Yeah. I mean, of course. This is why we're all here, right?

Offer for dinner still stands.

Sheila McCabe dating a rock star.

Not what you expected, eh?

It's exactly what I expected actually.

Well, it did start out as just a job, but...

Forrest, talent is sexy.

Actually, guys, pile your stuff up over there, OK?

And what about you? When did you join the khaki revolution?

You caught me at a weird time, I'm kind of figuring some stuff out.

Well, the Griffin that I knew probably would have kicked your ass.

My boss will k*ll me, but I guess I'll deal with that later.

Oh, Jimmy, look out!

What the hell is this?!

Or now.

This isn't a drop-in centre at the Y, Conner! Your stoner buddies are gonna have to play Super Nintendo somewhere else.

They're waiting for their friend, he's up in ER...

Holy crap! Was that... Was that Joey Loogan?

Yeah.

Boots Potter? Jimmy O? Scratch is in my bullpen?

Yeah.

Where's Forrest?

Like I said, he's up in ER.

I've seen you guys, like, 11 times.

I got a guitar in my office. Just don't leave, OK?

(Man laughing)

You're my doctor, can't you keep them from stranding me in the hallway?

Still trying to figure out where to put you.

Spinal imaging is back.

Did it make a liar out of me?

Is there anyone you want me to call?

Thought Laura would be here by now.

She's out of town. Quit stalling.

Your spine is clear.

Oh, thank God! I can shake my golden locks on the dance floor again. Ooh, that feels better.

Ahh. Still don't know what's going on with your legs.

Have you been ill lately? Fatigued?

No, but Allen...

Any exotic trips overseas?

Nothing more exotic than Denver on business. Look.

Becca...

Shhh, quiet.

I can't feel your hand.

It's moving higher.

We're gonna need to move you to ICU.

I'm a lousy dancer anyway.

(Machine beeping)

What about myasthenia gravis?

The paralysis would be creeping down the body, not up.

Cervical spine lesion?

Would have shown on imaging.

Not to sound crazy, but polio?

No. Wiped out except for Afghanistan, Pakistan, and Nigeria.

The only place your mom has been recently is a Denver hotel.

OK, so how about rabies?

She'd know if she was bit by a stray raccoon in the last few months.

Polio was a better idea?

Best guess so far is still Guillain-Barré Syndrome.

She'll need a spinal tap and intravenous immunoglobulin.

And if it doesn't work?

We try something else.

That's not what I mean, Dad.

Let's not worry for what ifs.

Dad, stop. What happens if this thing creeps even higher?

If it gets high enough, she'll have trouble speaking, swallowing, and then breathing.

So it could be fatal.

Let's see if the immunoglobulin helps.

She's gonna need somebody to stay with her.

She's not sure she wants you all to see her like this.

She's gonna need some help, Dad. You realize that, right?

Momsy's going to be under-refreshed, does that what you mean?

Yeah, that's what I mean. You don't need to be such an ass about it.

Oh, God! The DT, really?

You know what she's like when she's sober.

I gotta prep for a surgery.

Griff should go first. He's the expert.

Hey, Mel, hold on!

Hang on a sec.

I really need to get to OR.

How'd it go this morning?

How did what go?

Your first surgery back.

Actually, it was cancelled.

You cancelled the surgery?

Oh, my God, Dad, no!

Stop looking at me like a crazy person.

The patient had a complication. I didn't cancel it, it was cancelled.

You did walk out of that procedure last week.

Because I was sick!

So sick you went out and got po-faced, screaming drunk afterwards.

Dad, you need to take care of Mom.

You're right. OK, we'll talk later.

Are you in any pain?

What's with the chinos?

I had a thing, then I cancelled it. So water?

What? Because of this? What did you cancel?

Brian has a connection. We were gonna talk about what to do to get me back into med school.

Oh, don't let your father bully you into that.

Well, I wanna do it! If I can show this guy how I cleaned up...

There's no shame in being a porter. The world needs more porters.

I thought you'd be happy.

I'm happy that you're not in jail. I'm just a little bit worried that medical school might take you down the path of vice from which you just returned.

I was at the top of my class.

Until becoming a drug addict.

It was a drug problem, not an addiction!

I see. Is that what you rehearsed for your interview?

So I should be a porter?

Exactly.

Because what the world needs now is more highly intelligent, more very sensitive porters. Your mother is so proud of you.

So what you're saying... is I should just blow off med school.

That's what you're saying?

What I'm saying is that you have more than 2 choices.

"Pancreaticoduodenectomy." Great.

Have you seen the on-call? Shouldn't he be, you know, on call?

On-call surgeon. Probably in surgery.

I've got this guy in ER I'm almost certain has Charcot-Marie-Tooth disease.

So, you're looking for a nerve biopsy.

I know. Most boring, simple procedure but the guy's leaving tomorrow...

Mel: I'll do it.

You've got time?

I could trade with the on-call.

That was too easy, what's going on?

Just say "Thanks, Mel."

Thanks, Mel.

A little pinch, I'm just gonna freeze your arm.

If this was 1993, you'd give me a belt, I'd do that myself.

If this was 1993, I'd be in grade 8.

Patient is Forrest Woods. Nerve biopsy of the superficial radial nerve in the right wrist.

Is this gonna affect my sloppy guitar playing?

If I do my job, you'll be fine in a few hours.

I used to be like that.

Couldn't go on stage without touching every instrument twice.

Scalpel.

Scalpel.

Steady hand.

I'll have to shake for both of us.

Quiet while I cut out a piece of your nerve. Is this your strumming hand?

Enjoying your day off?

This kitchen is amazing!

This house is huge.

You grew up here.

Yeah, I guess so.

You get some sleep?

Oh, yeah. I just woke up. I-I can't believe it.

I have not slept above ground in 4 years. Oh, how did your thing go?

It didn't, I had to cancel.

Why?

My mom just came through ER, she fell.

She can't feel her legs. They did some tests...

Oh, my God, Griffin...

Yes, so I won't be home for awhile.

Are you OK?

I'm good.

If there's, if there's anything I can do...

Zoe, thanks. Listen, I gotta go.

Of... Of course, right.

Oh, I'll clear out of here. Don't worry about that.

I'll call you later? Yeah?

Zoe: Yeah.

Alright, bye.

Bye.

How are you feeling?

Sick... of everyone asking me that.

I'm asking as your nurse.

You're not my nurse; the one with the sleepy eye is my nurse, you just took over.

Mom...

The spinal tap is a son of a bitch.

How are your legs?

Not bad for my age.

I still can't move them though. I want to talk about the flowers at your wedding.

We can talk about this later.

Why not now?

Sandy... Honey...

I don't want to talk about it. It might be, I know, my hormones.

Something doesn't feel right.

OK.

I don't know.

I've been looking forward to this since you were born.

The dress, the baby's breath, and that gorgeous blonde hair.

Don't let this quick glimpse at mortality scare you.

You're pregnant.

Think life.

(Machine beeping alarmingly)

Mom?

Dr. Tuttle! Dr. Tuttle!

What happened?

The paralysis must have made it to her lungs.

We need a crash cart in here!

On its way.

She's moving too much for it to be paralysis.

Airway kit.

OK, switch, Sandy.

Ms. Baker? Ms. Baker, I'm gonna need to open your mouth.

I'm gonna take a look down your airway, alright?

She's turning red. Her arms, her neck...

When did you start the immunoglobulin?

Just now. Anaphylactic shock?

Sandy, point 5 mills of epinephrine.

She's having a drug reaction.

I can't find any preloads!

Draw one manually. Let's go, Conner!

Hissing Edgy.

It's OK, Mom.

This is gonna do it.

I know this is really hard, just try to keep calm, try to keep still.

Point 5 mills.

Thank you.

Keep her still! There we go.

You're gonna be fine.

A little pinch.

You're gonna make it, it's OK.

There we go. There we go.

Just breathe, Mom.

That's it.

Breathe, Mom.

That's it.

(Heavy breathing)

That's it.

That's it.

On top of everything else.

(Sandy sobbing)

Hey, Sandy.

Oh! What? I thought you said she was OK.

We almost lost her. I almost lost her.

But you didn't.

But I almost...

Let yourself off the hook. The system worked.

Oh, God, what a day! All over the map!

All my mother wants to do is see her daughter get married.

She was talking about baby's breath in my hair. It's weird.

Sandy...

And if she dies, she won't... she won't even get to do that, let alone hold her grandchild. We'll...

It'll be OK. Whatever happens, we'll figure it out.

We will.

OK.

I should get back.

Me too.

♪ Whatever happens, we'll figure it out ♪

Is that the best you could do?

You're not really supposed to be playing that. Where...

Loogan smuggled it in for me.

The other patients... It's too loud!

A'ight, It sounds like your bird's mum's dying, and all you can say is, "We'll figure it out."

Your biopsy results will be back soon. Once we see...

Get hitched today. Here.

Yeah right. We have guests. My family isn't even in the city...

So renew your vows later! Sometimes, you've just got to make things happen.

Universal Church of the Redeemed.

Ordained from an Internet café

15 years ago in Moose Jaw.

I can marry you.

♪ Ah-ah-ah ah-ah ah-ah-ah ♪

Allen: Immunoglobulin deficiency. So your mom's lucky Sandy was there.

So how do we treat the Guillain-Barré?

We don't.

We can't just do nothing.

It's not Guillain-Barré. The paralysis is moving too fast; it's creeping too quickly.

So we've got nothing.

I have my team digging.

In the meantime...

I'll go. It's my turn.

No. Give me a half hour with her first, will you?

Sure. Fine.

Hmm?

Sorry.

(Mel sighs)

Hi, Rebecca.

Hear we almost lost you.

You wish.

Nah, I lost you a long time ago.

You didn't lose me, I wasn't misplaced, I just walked away. There's a difference.

Same thing. One day you were gone.

Melancholy, Dr. Conner.

You're not cheering up the patient.

You managed to reach Laura?

You really know how to hit the wrong nerve.

I'm sorry. I thought you... I just assumed you two were still together.

Nope. It was time, I walked away.

Probably for the best. You look like hell right now.

Seriously, you are really terrible at this.

But I know what you need.

Is that the good stuff from your office?

Figured with everything else, no point in you having the shakes too.

You are a prince.

How did I ever let you go?

Pretty sure I didn't have the right equipment.

Still, you had the appropriate equipment for the job.

Got us three kids.

Three beautiful children.

To your equipment.

There's the wheelchair race of gloom and doom starring Boots Potter...

Does it ever get tired being trapped on a bus with these guys?

Uh, no privacy, bad smells, but it's the best job ever.

How many shows you got left?

40 more dates. Forrest just got a song in a big movie trailer, so crowds have been great.

Hey! I'm gonna k*ll you!

Man: Sorry, Sheels.

If there's a scratch on this, I am pawning your kick drum.

We're all just riled up because we're so bored.

Hey, you can feel free to leave.

(Sheila gasps.)

(Band members exclaiming)

Hey, hey! Hey, hey, hey!

Oh, no! That is for Forrest and me.

Band member: Did I mention how boring it is down here?

Yeah.

We're a band.

OK.

Hee-hee-hee!

Come on. Come on.

Here it comes.

Thank you.

Hey, hey, bunch of jackals. No manners.

Hey, could you hide that? Hide that a little please.

Help yourself.

Musician: Alright. Back to the race, gentlemen.

Musician: OK, I'm back. OK.

Musician: On your mark?

Go! Whoo!

Musician: Go, boys! Check out the rest of this.

(Machine beeping)

Not asleep. You're actually gonna have to talk to me.

Good. I mean, that's... that's why I'm here.

You took a week off work.

Are you getting enough to eat?

I could get them to bring you...

Were you sick? You never are.

Staycation. That's all.

Oh, please. Staycation: ugliest word ever.

I'll go to the caf, grab you a snack...

Unless they sell single malt, I'm not interested.

Mom.

You can tell me everything Melissa, I will take your secrets to my soon-to-be-dug grave.

Don't.

OK. Don't, don't.

Your father told me that you walked out of surgery, got smash-faced and then blamed him.

He said I'm not a natural surgeon.

You're not.

OK, I'm outta here.

You know that. Everybody knows that.

There's the nurturing mother I've always read about in books.

Sit!

My hand shook... in surgery.

Because you heard your father say you're not a natural surgeon.

I know. I sound totally...

You had an anxiety att*ck, honey.

You have them. Not for a long time.

Who was in the room in surgery?

You're not my shrink!

Who was in the room in surgery?

Dr. Kitleman from Johns Hopkins.

Who already thinks you're perfect. Who else?

Nurses, the patient.

They're nobodies, she's unconscious, who else?

Jerry the anesthio.

Are you seeing him?

My hand did not shake because of Jerry!

Do you respect him?

Because I like a boy!

You want him to think you're perfect, and when you want someone to think you're perfect, you try to be perfect.

To make everything perfect.

To control everything. But you can't, because you're not perfect. Thus, your hand shakes!

"Thus, your hand shakes"?

It was a combination of everything.

Your father, this Jerry, but it's not their fault.

I know!

Or yours!

Who wants an imperfect surgeon?

Nobody, but every patient gets one.

That was fun.

(Indistinct PA message)

Hey, Doc, I'm glad you're here.

Listen, I appreciate the effort, but Rochester is calling.

Have a seat.

What is it? Eye cancer?

Is that even a thing?

We confirmed through the DNA in your biopsy that you have something called Charcot-Marie-Tooth disease.

Ha! There's nothing wrong with my teeth.

Well, CMT affects the peripheral nerves. Your feet, your hips. It can explain your unique posture. Never stopped me from dancing.

But there are different strains.

We identified yours and it att*cks nerves related to sight.

Alright.

Ray Charles, Willie McTell. Stevie Wonder, didn't slow them down. I'd like you to get an MRI, because often, when CMT att*cks the eyes, it can also seriously damage the vestibulocochlear nerve.

For those of us who didn't finish high school?

Your ears.

I'm really sorry, but there's a really good chance you could lose your hearing completely.

I really can't be around that stuff. Especially not here. I work here.

Maybe you need a work environment a little more open to recreation.

No judgment, I'm just trying to stay on the wagon.

Oh. So those clothes fit you a little better than you thought.

Like I said, I'm figuring stuff out.

No, it's cool. Seriously.

We actually need a guy like you on tour.

I've taken, like, 3 piano lessons.

No, Forrest fired the merch guy. He kept getting baked and losing our T-shirt money.

I have a job.

I am offering you a better one!

Like designated driver, but with our cash.

New city every night, no commitments except the gig.

And believe me... you would get laid every night.

Aren't you and Forrest...?

Exclusive? Yeah.

Oh no, of course. What? This isn't the 70s.

I'm just making a point. Ha! Ha!

Believe me, 2 years ago, you would have had me at "We need a new merch guy."

So think about it.

I will.

I really need you to take this away from me.

Oh, OK.

You're like a tall, good-looking, ultra-sweet Peeping Tom.

Uh... thanks? And no.

You couldn't stick to looking at stock quotes on your phone?

Stock quotes don't have flawless skin.

You need to cut that out.

You have to stop being so charming.

I've been at this a lot of years; you're the first surgeon who doesn't appreciate an audience.

The more you look at me, the less you're gonna like what you see.

Trust me when I tell you it is the opposite.

It's not fair.

This and that have to be separate.

Uh... Alright then.

I'm out.

Jerry, that's not what I...

No. No, no, no, no! I-I mean, I will pull myself out.

Of your surgeries.

Perfect! I should get back to my mom, but this is great.

I'll see you later.

At least it's consistent.

It's like a sundial.

Hey... about earlier...

I know you can't help yourself.

I almost fell off the wagon today. Just now.

But you didn't.

I thought about it.

I love you.

Ah. Don't get all soft on me, Mom.

I can't take it.

Griffin, we're addicts.

There are gonna be plenty of "almosts".

I've been clean for months.

Then suddenly today, I, I...

Maybe it's 'cause you're sick.

Maybe I'm connecting that with how you left.

Were you a pillhead when I left?

I was 12.

So no.

So what is it?

I started drinking when I was 14, Griffin.

I know things about addiction you don't.

I can remember none of them right now.

Now, can you do something for me?

I can't get you any booze.

Will you sit with me while I sleep?

Yeah. Yeah.

Of course, Mom.

Thank you.

You are sweet at heart.

Today?!

Your dress is here, you don't want her to miss it, why not?

Who would...?

I got an officiate, everything.

What about your family? All our plans?

Sometimes, you just have to make things happen.

Not wait?

No.

Dive in?

Yeah.

We're doing this today?

We're doing this for your mom.

OK.

Give me 15 minutes.

Oh, God!

I can't believe what a cliché I am. Dying alone.

You're not alone and you're not dying.

I pushed you away, just like I pushed Laura away.

But you left her.

Allen, grow up.

I was lying. She had enough of my drinking and ran off to Denver with another woman.

Why didn't you just tell us about Laura?

Duh, because it was embarrassing, and karmic, and cliché.

And your business trip to Denver?

I chased her down there, all the way to a campsite. Can you believe that?

Me walking around a campsite in spiked heels?

Oh, my God!

So you weren't just in a hotel.

You were at an actual campsite. In the wild.

Yeah, it was very stupid.

No, that's not my point.

What's your point?

I think I know what's wrong with you.

(Sighs) You aren't supposed to see me, it's bad luck.

I'm pretty sure luck's out of the equation at this point, sweetheart. You're a vision.

I might be the last man to ever kiss you as a single woman.

Gross.

I'd be remiss if I didn't slow things down just a little bit and ask you the questions that would have saved me 3 years with what's-her-name in Michigan.

We really should get in there.

First question. Children. Sounds like fun, but then you realize you gotta keep 'em.

Definitely.

No doubt.

Sounds like that horse has already left the proverbial barn.

Right. Who controls the money?

Decker and Sandy: Me.

Who starts the fights?

Him.

Her.

Who finishes 'em?

They usually just sort of fizzle out.

Oh, that's not exactly a recipe for bed-breaking make-up sex.

Where do you see yourselves in 30 years?

20 years?

Do I hear 15?

You're sure you want to do this?

You mean get married here now or get married at all?

No, now, of course now. Of course, we're getting married.

OK, good. Today or the day we planned...

It doesn't matter as long as it happens.

OK. What about your mom?

Right. Yeah. We should do it for my mom.

Right. Ready when you are.

Maybe you two should go for a drink?

Oh, no. We have to get going.

Tick paralysis.

Little bastards.

Up north, they're not so bad, but in Colorado, they're nasty.

(Sandy clears her throat.) Everyone?

We thought we'd do it now.

In case I die?

If that's OK.

Lovely, but can get this tick business over with first?

Great idea, Sandy.

I should have thought of it, Becca, but your version of roughing it usually means 3 stars.

Now you see why.

I'm with you on that, Mom.

I found it. Give me the tweezers.

Get it out, please.

If I'm right, you should be able to wiggle your toes any minute.

That sounds magical.

No, it's... it's... it's crazy.

It can be almost immediate.

Yeah. Got it.

Nothing yet.

Mel: Come on, Mom.

Come on, try to move.

I'm trying.

I'm trying.

Mel: Come on, Mom.

We need to be patient.

No. We don't.

There.

Is that moving?

Yes!

It's moving! Ha! Ha! Ha! It's moving!

(Rebecca laughing)

She's OK, come in. Come in.

Oh, Sandy, honey, is that your dress?

Let's not do it today, we have to go shopping.

Mel: Mom!

Alright, I guess we won't lose the deposit on the hall.

It's probably just as well; I'm not actually sure I'm legal.

Who's that?

Mel: Would you look at that thing?

(Cell phone vibrating)

(Soft rock song)

We'll get a second opinion. Ask an expert.

There's no need.

They confirmed it with their machines and their science.

What if we moved all the amps offstage?

There's no magic potion, my friends.

By this time next year, I will be completely, stone-cold... mind-blowingly tragically deaf.

Oh, yeah, and blind.

We'll figure something out.

Yeah, yeah, always do.

What if we get a pinball machine? (Laughter)

Don't make me laugh. I'm trying to be sad.

So, I guess I'll call off the rest of the dates.

What are you talking about?! I'm going out with my boots on.

Hey?

We'll call it... the Helen Keller Farewell Tour.

(Men laughing)

Come on, it'll be awesome.

Bring it! Bring it!

♪ The feelings you gave me ♪

So, what now?

I don't know.

We have a show tonight. That's about as far as I go.

Griffin: And you and Forrest?

He's gonna need a lot of help, you know?

I don't know. I'm not exactly a nurse.

I can look into some options for him.

Tour bus leaves in 20 minutes. Are you coming?

No. It was good to see you again, Sheila.

Yeah. Good to see you too.

♪ So, friend ♪
♪ What a role ♪
♪ To be in ♪

Melissa, heard you traded out of a big surgery again today, so I have to ask you again, are you OK?

Dad, it wasn't your fault.

Good to know, but you didn't answer my question.

Let's just leave it at that for tonight.

♪

(Siren)

Zoe: It was weird, being at your dad's house.

Griffin: Why?

I don't know.

Family.

My mom could be sick, and I wouldn't be there.

She could die and I wouldn't even know.

When was the last time you saw them?

I was 5 when social services pulled me out of there.

"Unfit parents."

Maybe it's time you tracked them down.

Uh, no, no. I don't need that.

It's cold.

It's freezing.

Where are we going?

Ah. There's an allnight diner around the corner.

Bacon, eggs, sausages, ham, hash-browns, pancakes... hot coffee.

Hungry?

I'm starved.

♪

In a few more hours, you would have been rid of me for good.

You probably would have found a way to sue me from the grave.

So, to recap... our oldest daughter is knocked up and marrying a stiff, our youngest is wound tighter than copper wire.

And our only son is avoiding life by hiding in a hospital basement.

One big happy family.

Thank you.

Just doing my job.

No, for them.

Right.

Right.

You're welcome.