03x01 - The Kiss of Freedom

[bunniefuu]

How are you guys doing? Look at this line of carts Four brand-new ones. This is one of the best days ever.

Just about to go pick up Ricky and Julian at jail.

Those guys never got out of jail with a bunch of money before, so this should be fun.

You guys should come with me. Just gonna dump these off.

Ha, check this out, Bubbles.

You see that f*cking skid?

f*ck, Julian, I can't deal with this bullshit right now It's alright, man.

What time is it Bubbles?

It's 11:30. Ricky, you can't f*cking light up in the bank I can do whatever the f*ck I want. I'm rich as f*ck now Thirty eight grand in unmarked bills. I don't give a f*ck Ricky, calm down.

Julian, f*ck all this bullshit. f*ck this bank.

Let's just go spend it man. Let's go shopping. We need some gifts. Come on.

Ricky, we're gonna set up some GICs and some RRSPs man, that's an investment.

Bingo.

You got it?

f*ck investments, Julian.

We can go on vacation every year, man. Go on a cruise or something.

I don't give a f*ck about a cruise.

I want to go spend the cash right now.

Ricky, that's what smart people do with their f*cking money.

Invest it. Julian's handling all my finances.

Bubbles is right, man.

Listen, we just set up a few small businesses in the trailer park, man.

Why don't you let me control your money?

Control my money? f*ck RSVPs, Julian.

What about Freedom 35? I thought we were f*cking retired.

Oh oh.

Calm down.

I grew the f*cking dope. It's my f*cking money.

You can't scream "dope" out in the bank.

Dope, dope, doppedy f*cking dope, dope Here's security.

f*ck! Perfect. f*ck off.

Thanks, I can walk out on my own guys.

Give me my f*cking cigarette back. f*ck off, let go of me Everybody calm down. We're leaving.

Today's the day Ricky's getting out of jail and apparently he has a whole bunch of money saved up and I think he's probably going to try to move back in with Lucy or get with me again. Not this time.

We've got a surprise waiting for Ricky this time.

Holy f*ck, that's good pepperoni.

There's gonna be some changes this time though Randy I feel much more secure. I feel much more able to dea I with those assholes.

Me too, Mr. Lahey.

What is it, Julian?

This is no big deal or anything, but I think you're gonna like this, buddy.

Ahhh! Oh my God, Julian. You didn't have to do that You deserve it buddy.

Thanks. I'm gonna go get all my sh*t and put it in there.

Come on, drive her into ya There's lots more where that came from.

Well, I mean, just look at this place. It's like a, a palace Bunk beds, TV, satellite dish, 416 channels.

Oh, he's f*cking taking off. Anything I wanna watch, it's there. I just turn it on. Indoor plumbing, all hooked up Cell phone. I never had a phone before It's cordless.

Look at that.

All-new technology.

Keep her up there.

This is the nicest f*cking shed I think there's ever been.

Howdy, Ricky. Back from con college so soon?

Look, guys, I don't want any trouble. I just got out of jail.

I'm a new man. I've got lots of money, so I don't want to start any bullshit.

What I do want is a brand-new, double-wide trailer.

Nicest one you've got.

That'll cost ya, Ricky.

Yeah, well, here's a thousand dollars down for hook-up fees and six months' lease up front Where the hell did you get that kind of money?

I've got lots of money, Lahey.

Oh, I get it. Never mind Lahey, I've got my own money, alright. I've got lots of it An endless supply. I want a double-wide trailer by five o'clock tomorrow or I' calling Barbara. Simple as that.

Ricky, I'm not hauling anything in this park unless I get 5,000 dollars down.

Believe me, I'd give you the money right now, but I don't trust either one of you fuckernauts.

Yeah, I don't trust you, sh*t-bat.

Collateral, Rick, or no trailer.

Fine, I'll give you some collateral.

Why don't you go around and tell everyone that I'll kiss your ass if I don't have the money by five o'clock tomorrow.

That's some f*cking collateral, isn't it?

I've lived in this f*cking car for four years. I wish I could say I'm gonna miss it, but I'm not. Living in a car kind of sucks.

Way too cramped when you're sleeping, cold at night No more living in a car for me. I'm getting my own f*cking trailer, and I can't wait.

You'll kiss his bare ass?

That's what I said, dumb ass Ricky, that would mean you'd agree to play by Sunnyvale Trailer Park rules.

Are you willing to put that in writing?

Give me a f*cking pen.

Get a lease agreement, Randy. Special clauses.

Here.

That's for the pen. And you know what?

I got out of jail and I try to start things off on the right foot.

And you wouldn't do that, would you?

So I'm gonna pay you a hundred dollars to f*ck off.

Leave me alone, just give me my trailer and f*ck off.

When's the last time you saw your father?

Six months ago or something?

She doesn't even remember the last time she saw her dad.

He wasn't around all last year. Not impressed by Ricky at all.

Julian's got a couple of money-making schemes he's got going on in the park. I think he's got Corey and Trevor selling ice cream out of ice-cream bikes.

All I want to do is open up a few semi Legit businesses to make money.

I put a lot of work into this and I mean, I don't want to go back to jail.

Trin, in the house now. Let's go. Come on.

Wipe that grin off your face. What is that?

A ghetto blaster Daddy got me.

What's the problem here?

We're just handing out a little bit of money, having some ice cream.

I bought Trin a stereo. Got a problem with that.?

You'll find out soon enough.

What's that supposed to mean What's going on, Rick? Good to see ya, m-Fucker, you know what I'm saying?, Gotta check this sh*t out, boy. Julian set Bubbles up hard you know what I'm saying? Brand-new shed, boys, satellite TV and sh*t. Julian's the man.

That's not too bad.

Julian's not the man. I got just as much money as him.

Check this out Bubbles, I got you something too, buddy. Get in, Bubbles.

How's it running, buddy?

Did you see the burnouts I was doing?

That was awesome.

Thanks, Ricky.

You're welcome.

See, Julian's not the only one with money.

I've never really had money before. I'm the first in my family to have money, so it feels pretty good.

I got my dad some pepperoni and booze and I bought some gifts for people.

That's the difference between me and Julian.

Julian's out there showing off and he's spending all his money on himself, buying these flashy cars and different things like that And I just don't get that. I'm not about that stuff at all.

The whole time I was in jail, I was thinking about this day.

And I got a big surprise for everybody in this park I'm getting a new trailer and a new car and I'm gonna burn this car right to the ground.

I'm starting a new life.

Well, Ricky's been living in the sh*t mobile for, I don't know how many years now.

Julian gave it to him when he had no place to go Ricky goes on about it, you know, how much he hates, the f*cking thing, but he's lived in it so long I think he'd really miss It if he didn't have it., There's a lot of history. I've been living in this car and it's been a big part of my life.

But, you know, it's f*cked me around quite a bit.

Sometimes it stalls on ya, and it doesn't work right.

You need to go somewhere and it's like, no you're not f*cking going there right now cause I'm gonna f*cking stall on ya. It pisses you off.

It was Julian's grandmother who owned it originally and she left it to Julian and that's probably how most of the damage got done 'cause she used to drive around here drunk all the time, smashing into poles and stuff.

You think Julian goes around with a drink a lot, you should've saw her.

Yeah, you know what's coming, don't ya?

You know what's gonna happen to you tonight.

You now, he's always kicking it and being mean to it, but he loves that old Yorker Purple.

Alright, everybody, it's time for the main event I'm buying a new trailer tomorrow and a new car, and I want to thank you all for coming down here to watch me burn this piece of sh*t to the ground, so let's get it started.

Hey Bubbles. Let's order some chicken pizza and play some video games on your new TV, man.

I got that new wrestling game, man.

Where you going Bubbles?

Chicken pizza and wrestling games.

I bought you a f*cking go - cart, and I got donairs here Stay and chill with me.

Julian's my buddy too, you know.

I been hanging around with you, hanging around with him.

Well, I've got fireworks. At least stay and watch the f*cking fireworks.

Come on.

Holy f*ck. Julian, he's got fireworks.

Can we stay for those?

Whatever, man.

Alright, personal assistants Trevor and Corey, let's get the fireworks going, please, let's go.

Let's go guys. Move it. Move it, guys.

What the f*ck?

I suggest you turn that camera off right now.

If I see my face on television or reproduced in any way, I will sue.

This is the guy right here in the track suit.

Who the f*ck are you?

He's a f*cking lawyer, Ricky I'm a f*ck offer.

Richard, hi. I've heard so much about you What the hell is this?

Well, I guess you could call it a bill for being an assh*le You better watch yourself, buddy.

Bubbles, give me a hand with this reading stuff please There's a lot of big words there.

Three years' child-support payments you owe, Ricky.

Child reports, what? Now you got suit dummies making up big fancy word papers about me being a bad father because I'm rich now?

This is bullshit, Lucy. I'm not a bad father, am I, Trinity?

Ricky, a good father doesn't go to jail every year, okay?

Some do.

Yeah.

I think you'll find those papers in order. See you in court.

You think you're so big with your little suit and your little college reading and stuff. Go f*ck yourself.

Lucy, you better not be banging him.

Forget where you got that, buddy?

No I didn't, Julian. And I'm f*cking burning it right now Let's go, Bubbles. I can't watch this sh*t, man Julian, we can't let him blow himself up.

You know he's gonna f*cking blow himself up.

Corey, Trevor, what the f*ck is going on with the fireworks Hurry up. Dad, get out of the f*cking car, come on.

No f*cking around here.

You know, Ricky, this car used to be your home, buddy.

Remember that? You used to love living in here.

Get the f*ck out, I'm burning it.

No, man. Don't. I don't want you to burn it.

Just think before you act here, okay?

You used to love living here, remember that?

There's nothing wrong with living in a car.

I did it for nine years, the best of my life.

No sh*t.

If you don't want the car, Rick, give it back to Julian Give it to me, for Chrissakes. I'd love to have this car.

I see what this is all about. You know what, keep the f*cking car.

I don't give a sh*t. I'm rich as f*ck.

I would have bought you a brand-new one. Take it.

It's got nothing to do with money, Rick., Trevor, Corey, what the f*ck you doing? I spent two grand on fireworks I wanna see some f*cking fireworks. Come on.

Alright, everybody, f*ck it.

We're gonna get drunk and eat donairs tonight.

And I plan on getting drunk as f*ck tonight.

Drunk as f*ck.

Drunk as f*ck. Drunk as f*ck. Drunk as f*ck.

Come on, I gotta get you cleaned up Cocksucker.

Look, you know we're going to make money doing this.

We're gonna make more than Corey and Trevor selling ice cream.

We need eighteen hundred.

Do you guys think you can draw enough customers?

No, we don't think we're gonna get any customers, that's why we want to start a business.

Listen, we're already doing everybody's hair anyway.

Now we're just going to make them pay for it.

So, Luce, can I ask you something?

Yeah, what?

What's up with this lawsuit thing?

Look, Ricky doesn't even understand what child support is, Julian.

He doesn't get the f*cking concept.

I figured that a lawsuit would clear his head a little, make him a little bit more responsible.

The only way Ricky is gonna get any smarter is if he dies and comes back as a turnip He just keeps on getting stupider, Julian.

f*ck, Bubbles.

What's going on, cheddar? Know what I'm saying?, You're gonna hook the rock pile up with them track suits today right, m*therf*cker?

You guys get my ride lined up?

f*cking right, boy.

All taken care of, man.

1968 Chev convertible.

Off the hook, m*therf*cker Right on. I'm gonna hook with you guys in a bit, alright?

Word. Slap me a ten, pimp?

Just a second, buddy.

Ricky, Jesus, you might want to close the door.

Hey, stop f*cking filming me in here.

What the f*ck are you filming him peeing for Turn off the f*cking camera.

f*ck off.

Ice cream!

Ice cream!

Yo, Ricky.

Eleven grand, huh? Looks pretty good, pretty tight.

High performance. Well, I go all kinds of money. Let's make -

Daddy, daddy! I want some ice cream.

I'll get you some in one second.

What are you guys doing? I told you to stay off those bikes.

Trinity, I don't want you to see what your daddy's about to do, so why don't you head down to my shed.

I got a brand-new kitty. Tickle his belly.

That's what you guys deserve for that.

What did you do, Ricky? Huh?

Boys, get up and fix these bikes and get back to work They work for me now, Julian Those bikes cost me twelve-hundred bucks, man.

Cough up some money for the damages.

You want some money for damages? Not a problem I've got twelve-hundred bucks right here, idiot.

What's gotten into you, man?

Now that I own those bikes, I guess I can do whatever I want to them, can't I?

Ricky!

Tripped them up with a hockey stick, no big deal.

Fired a few sh*ts at them. Way I see it, I bought the bikes, I own them. Just like owning a target. You sh**t at that.

I sh*t at the bikes. Then Julian's got this attitude.

And fires a b*llet at my brand new car. Real nice.

So I fired a sh*t at his new car.

Boys!

Spy for a spy. That's the way it works around here.

What the f*ck are you guys doing?

Money is turning you guys into idiots.

Now hand over the g*ns before somebody gets hurt.

Ricky, give me the g*n. You're being an arsehole.

Somebody's gonna get hurt.

Yeah, Ricky.

You started it, Julian.

Speaking of arseholes, now look what you did.

Aw f*ck!

Alright, everybody. Clear the area.

Hand over the weapons, Bubbles.

Go f*ck yourself, Lahey.

Let's go, Randy, back in the car.

You heard Lahey, everybody move out.

Everything is cool here, Jim.

Everything is not cool here, Julian.

You boys are f*cking up big time. You better get Ricky under control or I'm calling In the Parole Board. Ricky, I'm gathering evidence on you and I'm gonna have you removed from this park one way or the other.

The old sh*t clock is ticking.

What's wrong? Are you alright?

Well, I don't want to end up drunk and stupid like you, that's what's wrong.

What's that supposed to mean, sweetie?

Come on, Dad. You're not that stupid.

Oh, I think somebody's been talking to Trinity and they've misleaded her around and basically they said that I'm drunk and stupid all the time, , which isn't the case. Once in a while I'll get drunk something comes out of my mouth that may not be the smartest thing in the world.

She shouldn't be worried about growing up to be drunk and stupid like me. That's not gonna happen.

She's already smarter than me and, you know, she's only about nine years old.

You better have my trailer ready in two f*cking hours, Lahey.

And you better have the money, Ricky, or prepare to pucker up and kiss my ass.

Hey, Bubs, can I borrow your cell phone please?

Thanks.

Put this up, Ricky.

How's it going? I need the best set of encyclopedias you got.

Ricky. And it's going to Lot 423 in Sunnyvale Trailer Park.

And I want them here in 15 minutes, I'll pay cash If they're not here in 15 minutes, I'll buy em from somebody else You calm the f*ck down, alright?

I just want them here immediately.

Thank you.

On my f*cking dinner.

Lucy, Sarah. My dreams are about to come true in five minutes.

Bring Trinity down to Lot 423 to see my new double-wide trailer and I'll have a gift for Trinity.

Can't wait to see your trailer, m*therf*cker That sh*t is gonna be dope Me either. Where the f*ck is my new trailer, Lahey?

f*cking Randy. What's going on here?

All you have to do is say the word, and I can have your trailer down here in two minutes.

I'm saying the word right the f*ck now.

Where's the five grand, Ricky?

It's right here, shitler Daddy.

Hey Trin, how's it going?

Hello? Hi, excuse me. I'm looking for a Ricky.

I have his encyclopedias.

Trinity, come with me.

Daddy bought you some encyclopedias so you can get smarter.

You won't be stupid like Daddy when you get older.

So, what's the damage?

Well, with tax it is $4,728.33 and that is the cash price What? For a bunch of f*cking books?

Well, if you don't have it, that's fine. But...

No, no, no. Shh. No, no. I've got lots of money, I've got the money right here. What are they, f*cking printed in gold or something? Jesus Christ Is that all the money you've got Ricky?

Well, I thought I had more than this.

I can sell some stuff, Lahey. I'll have your money tomorrow.

I've got to do one thing at a time.

Well, well, well. What's it gonna be, Rick?

You gonna buy the trailer or are you gonna kiss my bare ass right now in front of all these good people?

Oh my God, he's gonna do it, dude.

Holy sh*t, it's ass-kissing time.

Lucy, let's get Trinity out of here, right now.

Ricky, you did the right thing.

Let's f*cking get this over with, Lahey.

Be my pleasure, Ricky.

Jesus Christ.

Pucker up, boy.

Make it a quick one, Ricky.

Bite me, Randy.

Jesus.

That's enough.

I can't believe you did that.

Damn that's sick, dude.

Can't believe he did that. That's friggin' gross.

Well, I guess I won that one, Ricky.

Hope you enjoyed that, Lahey.

Leave him alone.

Nobody really knows Ricky the way I do, and I just hope he's alright after putting his lips on Mr. Lahey's bum.

All clear, Rick.

Hey, boys, I'm sorry you had to f*cking witness that.

It's alright, Ricky.

You knew I'd f*ck up and lose everything, didn't you, Dad?

Even the old man knows you better than you know yourself sometimes, man.

The TV does work, Ricky.

You just gotta jiggle the f*cking cord.

You giving that to me, buddy Well yeah, I mean, I'd give you back any of that stuff you bought me, if you need it. I could sell that go-cart.

Don't worry about it Bubs. I appreciate this. Thanks.

I'm better off without f*cking money.

Any chance I can get a piece of that pepperoni, Dad?

That's all I got for the rest of the night, man Just a little bite?

It's all I got.

Hey Rick, you've gotta promise me you're not gonna do anything else stupid, alright?

I promise you. I mean, what the f*ck else could I do?

What you did was...

Not a lot of people would do that for their daughter You know what that makes you A f*cking good dad.

Take her back.

Ricky, you're gonna be sleeping on a f*cking angle there.

You don't want that.

[Littlest Hobo theme music Every stop I make, I make a new friend.

Hi, Daddy.

Hey, Trin.

What are you doing out so late Hey, Rick.

How's it going?

It's going well. Uh, I've been thinking.

I think the important thing is for you to spend time with Trinity.

So, the lawsuit's gone.

Thanks Lucy. I appreciate that, I lost everything.

Sorry. I'd give you the money if I had it.

You didn't lose Trinity. So...

I love you.

I love you too.