01X01 - Pilot

[bunniefuu]

Who?

Andrew harris, a tenth grader.

What's the big showcase?

It's a performance they put on at her school every year where...

They invite agents and directors and producers and other super-powerful people in show business and it's extremely important to me which is why I am very upset and good bye.

Hey.

He and I have a science project due tomorrow.

I have to turn in my mold bush.

No.

Andrew is coming over and you gotta help us figure out what we're gonna do in the big showcase.

I definitely wanna sing.

How was that?

Loud?

Awesome.

Uch, he's here.

Stay.

Come in.

Thanks.

Tori, that's andrew.

Andre.

Hey.

You go to hollywood arts, too?

Oh, no.

I'm not a performer.

Just my sister.

Yep.

I got the talent, and she got the strong teeth.

You know, she's never had one cavity?

I try not to brag about it.

Oh, nice piano.

Oh my god, you're fantastic.

He's okay.

Fish mold.

No, grandma, listen, there's no way you can drown at my school.

You not gonna fall in a toilet.

Look, I gotta...

I gotta...

I'll call you later.

Your grandmother's coming to the big showcase?

Yeah.

It's gonna be the first time she's left the house in six years.

Why?

'cause the woman's afraid of everything: people, umbrellas, rabbis, bikinis, breakfast foods...

So if she saw a rabbi in a bikini eating pancakes...

The woman would burst into flames.

You guys, come on.

Back to rehearsal.

Let's go.

So?

What do you think?

Fabulous, right?

You really need to wear that, just to rehearse?

A performer needs to feel the part to be the part.

I thought we talked about you not tapping my nose anymore.

Okay, we got the comedy stuff down, so let's start with my song.

And by "your song"

I'm guessin' you mean that song I wrote?

No one cares who wrote the song.

Now...

Go!

From "when I make it shine."

♪ when I make it shine ♪

Well?

Do you have any aspirin?

Oh, hi.

You're andre's grandmother?

I don't know you.

Excuse me, you're trina's parents?

Yes.

Why?

Please come with me.

There she is.

Trina.

What happened?

Oh my god, it's huge.

Does anybody know how this happened?

The chinese herb gargle.

Wait, what are you talking about?

Uh, she found some website that shows you how to make a special chinese herb gargle that's supposed to help you sing better.

Well, she must have had an allergic reaction to it.

Will she be okay?

Well, her tongue is obviously engorged and...

Oh, it's throbbing erratically.

Throbbing erratically?

Any way she'll be able to perform today?

Of course not.

Stop talking.

Your tongue could burst!

I'm sorry, sweetie.

Next year.

I'm gonna take her over there and massage her tongue.

Massage ma tong?

Guess my grandma came here for nothin'.

Wait.

Does anyone else know trina's part?

Her sister does.

Me sister?

No, no, no, no.

I just helped them rehearse.

I'm not even a student here.

I couldn't go onstage...

You know this whole thing inside and out...The song, the choreography...

You can do this.

Come on.

She said she'll do it.

No.

No, I did not say I would do it.

Whoa, whoa.

She cannot go on stage wearing that.

Excuse me.

Go get her something cool to wear.

I am not going, okay?

Bring her.

No.

Wait.

What are you doing?

No.

No.

Let go of me.

What, what, where are you going?

Like.

Stop.

Let go.

Okay.

It's okay.

It's all right.

Shut up and...

Let go of me.

What are you doing?

No, no, no, no.

I said let go of me, please.

No, no, please.

♪ here I am, once again ♪
♪ feelin' lost ♪
♪ but now and then ♪
♪ I breathe it in ♪
♪ to let it go ♪
♪ and you don't know ♪
♪ where you are now ♪
♪ or what it will come to ♪
♪ if only somebody could hear ♪
♪ when you figure out how ♪
♪ you're lost in the moment ♪
♪ you disappear ♪
♪ you don't have to be afraid ♪
♪ to put your dream in action ♪
♪ you're never gonna fade ♪
♪ you'll be ♪
♪ the main attraction ♪
♪ not a fantasy ♪
♪ just remember me ♪
♪ when it turns out right ♪
♪ 'cause you know ♪
♪ that if you live ♪
♪ in your imagination ♪
♪ tomorrow you'll be ♪
♪ everybody's fascination ♪
♪ in my victory ♪
♪ just remember me ♪
♪ when I make it shine ♪
♪ you don't have to be afraid ♪
♪ to put your dream in action ♪
♪ you're never gonna fade ♪
♪ you'll be ♪
♪ the main attraction ♪
♪ not a fantasy ♪
♪ just remember me ♪
♪ when it turns out right ♪
♪ 'cause you know ♪
♪ that if you live ♪
♪ in your imagination ♪
♪ tomorrow you'll be ♪
♪ everybody's fascination ♪
♪ in my victory ♪
♪ just remember me ♪
♪ when I make it shine ♪

Oh my god, sweetie.

That was incredible.

Who are you?

I'm tori vega.

Who are you?

This is mr.

Eikner, our principal.

You don't go to school here?

No, I just...

Do you want to?

Me?

Well, should i?

Yes.

But the kids who go here are all like crazy talented.

Yeah, so are you.

But what if I'm not good enough?

Hey.

Hey, andre.

This girl doesn't know if she's good enough to go to school here.

What do you people think?

Okay?

Okay.

See, it's just a high school.

This is not just a high school.

These kids are all artsy and creative and talented, and I'm just normal.

It's okay, there's nothing wrong with being average.

Anyway, you're not alone.

I got your back.

Okay.

So...

Trina!

Eric paulson got his hair straightened! Shut up!

Oh my god...

I'm alone.

Hey, ummm, can you tell me...

Oh my god, you're tori, right?

You were so awesome in the big showcase.

Aw, thanks.

My name's cat.

Like the animal?

What's that supposed to mean?

Nothing, I love cats.

Me too, they're so cute.

Hey, um...

Oh, hi.

Hey.

Hello.

Female?

Yes.

Can you tell me where mr.

Sikowitz' classroom is?

Down the hall, swing a left at the water fountain, second door on your right.

Thank you.

Whatever it takes, cupcake.

Oh, hey.

Oh my gosh.

Ah, it's cool...

No, here... I think it's coming out.

...You might be making it worse, actually.

Dude, why you rubbing my boyfriend?

I just... I spilled coffee on...

Get away from him.

Relax.

Oh my god, there's a huge fire!

Kidding, kidding.

Just wanted to get your blood pumping, which I did.

Ha!

All right!

Now, let's get started...

Rumps in chairs.

He's our teacher?

Okay, first, I'd like to introduce our new student, tori.

And I'd like to thank tori for her generous gift of $2

Which she handed me outside this morning.

Not necessary, but much appreciated.

Why'd you give him $2?

I thought he was homeless.

Now today we're going to continue our study in group improv.

Tori, I assume you're familiar with improv?

No.

Okay, crash course.

Improv, acting without a script, which means the actors must make up their own actions and dialogue as they perform the scene.

Understood?

Excellent.

Jade, you will captain the first group of the day.

Choose your actors.

Cat, eli, beck, and tori.

Okay, let's give 'em a place.

Home.

Home.

Oh, real creative.

You be quiet.

And now we need a situation.

Big news.

Andre, nobody wants to see big nudes.

News.

Ah, well that's different.

Big news.

Ah, why don't you go wait in the hall?

Uh, okay.

Okay.

At home, big news...

And action.

Hey, babe, how was work today?

Ah, I got fired.

Again?

It's okay.

I have great news that'll cheer up this whole family.

What is it?

Tell us!

I went to the animal shelter and got us...

A dog.

Uh, yep.

I'm the new family dog.

Woof.

Sikowitz, will you please tell this amateur that dogs can't talk, and that they don't walk on two legs?

Sikowitz!! Oh, I'm sorry, I was sucking the milk out of this coconut.

But it's true, tori, if you're going to play a dog, be a dog.

Woof.

And action.

Uh, I went to the animal shelter and got us a dog.

Awesome.

Uh-oh, looks like this dog has bugs in her fur.

Uhhh, woof?

Gross.

Aw, it's okay.

I read on the internet that coffee works great for getting rid of fur bugs.

Maybe you shouldn't, jade.

What's the prob, dog?

Hey, whatcha doin'?

Calling my mom to tell her I wanna go back to my old school.

Why?

'cause I don't like having black coffee in my hair.

Then I'll get you some cream and sugar.

Everything will be chill.

Hey, mom, I need you to...

Uh-um.

No.

Gimme back my mom! You're gonna quit this school on your first day, just because of one mean girl?

It's not just her!

It's just...

I don't fit in here with...

All this.

C'mon, this place isn't that different from other schools.

Oh yeah, like regular schools have improv classes with barefoot teachers and nerds with puppets and bipolar cats and mean girls who make you bark like a dog?

Uh, you guys...

Sikowitz wants you both back in class.

He asked me to tell them! See, this doesn't happen at my old school.

Will you guys be cool?

Him?

Be cool?

You're a demon! You guys, sikowitz really wants everybody back in class.

And you really wanted a date to the prom last year, but you didn't get one, did ya?

Rex.

Tell your puppet to quit being mean to me! Don't call him a puppet!

That's an offensive term! Yeah, this school's pretty normal.

Just please go back to class and tell sikowitz we'll be there in a minute?

You better hurry.

Yeah.

I was gonna say yeah! Just keep it to yourself, I don't want to hear it.

Okay.

This school's not normal.

Really?

You're not normal either.

I've seen what you can do on stage.

You're special.

You're fantastic.

You belong at this school.

Normal's boring.

It's true.

That normal's boring?

No, that no one asked me to the prom.

You know, you're actually not terrible.

You're really gonna quit hollywood arts?

What do you think I should do?

I think you should come back.

Why?

So I won't be known at school as the girl with the lame little sister who quit on her first day.

And I think you were really good in the big showcase.

Thanks, treen.

But I woulda been amazing.

Tori.

You're back.

Have you ever thought about coming in through the window?

No.

Think about it.

Now, sit, sit.

Okay, today, we're going to do some alphabetical improv.

"what is alphabetical improv,"

You ask?

So I answer.

It's when we give a letter to the first actor who speaks in the scene.

If we used the letter "a"

As an example, then the actor must make his first word start with the letter "a"

Which might go something like...

Apples are falling out of my butt.

Lovely.

Now the next actor who speaks must start his line with the next letter in the alphabet, in this case, b, so he might say...

Bring those apples, so that we may all enjoy the fresh fruit from beck's butt.

Charming.

Now who wants to lead the first group?

I do.

All right, tori.

Choose your actors.

Okay.

Andre, cat, beck and jade.

Yeah, you.

Jade, kiss your boyfriend on your own time.

Oh, I will.

Okay, if you start your line with the wrong letter...

...You're out.

Robbie, give us a letter.

P.

P.

Awww, I was going to say p.

Okay, the scene can be about anything you want.

The first letter of the first line is p.

Tori, action.

Please go take a shower.

Quit telling me what to do.

Relax girls, let's all try to get along.

Totally.

Cat, your line had to start with an s.

Aw, my life's the worst! Here's a piece of candy.

Yay, I love candy! All right, andre, letter s to you.

Uh, somethin'

Just bit my toe.

Turtle.

That turtle just bit his toe.

Unbelievable that you're even here.

Very immature of you to say that.

C'mon andre, w.

What if the turtle bite broke my toe-bone?

X-rays are the only way to find out.

You should shut up.

Zap!

I just healed your toe with my magic finger.

Thanks!

Andre, your line had to start with an "a."

Sit down.

Aw, and I just got my toe-bone fixed.

Tori, letter "a" to you.

Aliens are the only people who can heal toes by finger-zapping.

By the way...

Correct, I am an alien.

Oh, a twist.

Don't hurt me, please.

Even though she's extremely annoying.

Fainting, because I can't breathe your earth's air.

Gosh, it fainted! Excellent!

Tori and jade, keep going!

The next letter's h! Hey, why don't you go jump off that cliff over there?

I think you should.

Just where did you come from?

Kangaroos.

Lousy animals, kangaroos.

They're awkward and dirty.

Maybe they learned from you.

Ooh.

No one talks to me like that.

Obviously someone should.

Please run in front of a bus.

Quite obnoxious of you to say.

Really?

Sure was.

Thanks.

Up your nose, I see boogers.

Very clever.

Wish you'd thought of it?

X marks the spot I'd like to punch.

Your finger smells weird.

Zero is what you are on a scale from 1 to 10.

And back to the letter "a."

As if I care what you think.

Better watch yourself.

Can't take it?

Don't push me.

Eat your pants! You eat your pants! Wait! Sorry jade, the next letter was...

F! I know! Keep the scene going.

Letter g! Get up, alien.

Head...

Feels dizzy.

I know what'll make you feel better.

Jumping jacks?

Kiss me.

Little weird, let's do it.

Man, I love this school.