01X02 - The Bird Scene

[bunniefuu]

"You think you're better Than everyone else?"

So I go, "well, pretty much, Yeah," which was just Me being...

Tori, come on!

Did you not see me fall down In the parking lot?

It was very funny.

I wasn't trying to be...

Oh, the new play roster!

Hold my coffee.

Move.

These are so good.

Don't spill that.

Now, what's so good?

The list of plays For this semester.

Oh my God, I am perfect For all these.

Is "moonlight magic"

On there?

Yeah, number four, why?

Andre wrote the music for it.

He wants me to try out For the lead.

You? Why?

Take your coffee and go.

Oh, somebody fell down On the wrong side Of the parking lot.

Need some help?

Yes.

Interesting.

And you're saying That movie's not scary?

No, I'm saying It's not as scary as tofu.

Why are you always Rippin' on tofu?

'Cause it tastes like snot.

Hey, can you guys help me?

Sure.

Just keep that over there.

Let's probably get Some shelves or something.

There we go.

All set.

Thanks.

Never put me down Like that again.

I was helping Tori.

Get the gum off my forehead.

All right, My locker is filled.

I feel complete.

Whoa, whoa, not yet.

What?

You gotta customize it.

Everyone at hollywood arts Has to customize their locker.

Well, what'd you do for yours?

I made a mosaic using All of the baby bottle nipples From my childhood.

They remind me Of a happier time.

Yours?

Check it out.

Follow those dreads.

Hey, Andre, Robbie!

That squirrel's back In my office again.

I'll get the net.

I'll get the nuts.

I don't know what to do With my locker.

Want to see my locker?

I guess.

These are pieces of food That I chewed, But never swallowed.

I spit them out, coated them, With a polyurethane resin And stuck them on here With an industrial adhesive.

Betsy, betsy, That animal's delicious flesh Can keep us all alive For another week.

I don't wanna be alive Without poncy.

This pig is everything to me That my daddy never was, And I'll be ding danged.

Sikowitz?

What?

You hit me in the face With a ball.

Oh, come on, A truly great actor Can stay in the scene No matter what's happening Around her.

But it really hurts.

Oh, lunch, yay.

Learn your lines.

I want everyone Off book tomorrow.

Hey, you wanna Come to lunch with us?

Sure, just lemme...aaah.

What was that for?

I'm not acting right now.

We need to chat.

And "Tori, can I see you?"

Wouldn't have worked?

Have fun.

Protect your face.

What's up?

I hear you signed up To audition For a play, "moonlight magic?"

Andre wrote the music for it And he wants me To play the lead.

You should.

But you can't?

Not until you pass

"The bird scene."

"The bird scene?"

Here at hollywood arts, Every student must Successfully complete

"The bird scene"

Before they can audition for any And all school productions.

Hey sikowitz, I forgot to ask you a question About the homework.

Will we have...?

We'll never know Her question.

Hey, you know Where I could buy A pair of ballet slippers?

No, I don't.

But I know where you can Get yourself a pretty skirt And some lip gloss.

Heh, heh, heh.

That was a good one, Beck.

Lip gloss.

Why do you need Ballet slippers?

'Cause I signed up For ballet.

Whoa, whoa, Isn't that kinda girly?

Yep, just one big room Full of girls, and me.

You guys picking up What I'm putting down?

I am.

Pretty smooth.

I don't understand.

A lot of girls who dance, All in one room, with him.

Would you mind If maybe I signed up too?

Nah, go for it.

How about you, man?

Can't.

Me and Jade already signed up For salsa dancing.

I can't eat salsa.

Why?

'Cause it hurts your stomach And gives you nightmares?

No.

Yes.

Maybe.

Ready?

Drive-By acting exercise.

You're all angry englishmen.

Go.

I insist you tell me Who sat on me crumpet.

My grandmummy went to the loo While I snogged The prime minister.

This flock of whipperwils Is bothering my trousers.

Good heavens, There's a dead cockroach In my brassier.

Blimey.

Well, I told you Not to put plum sauce On me banger.

You, you, you...

All right, all right, Very good, quiet down.

Now that we're all Loosey and/or goosey, The time has come For our newest student To tackle...

The bird scene.

Tori, the stage is yours, Though you can't take it home.

Can I ask you a few question Before I start?

So...

Just do your best.

Action.

Okay.

It was 1934

When my husband left me.

Alone, living on the prairie Was a dreary existence.

No telephone, no radio.

Only a large, majestic bird With whom I shared my feelings.

One day when I was feeling low, I said to him, "Oh bird, you can fly.

"You can soar miles

"From this lonely place, "Yet you stay.

Why?"

And apparently, My question rang true, For that afternoon, The bird left.

And so went my spirit.

How was that?

What do you mean?

Did I do the scene right?

No, not at all.

Okay, then what'd I do wrong?

You'll have to perform The scene again tomorrow And get it right, Or else you cannot be In Andre's play or any other.

But can you tell me What I did wrong?

No, I can't.

I don't get any feedback?

That is correct.

But...

Drive-By acting exercise.

You're all terrified dolphins.

Go.

Live the fear.

Live the fear.

Come on.

How am I supposed to do The scene right If no one will tell me What I did wrong?

I thought you guys Were my friends.

I'm not your friend.

I was hoping We could be more than friends.

Uh, it's so gross How he's always hitting On every girl.

I never hit on you.

What's that supposed to mean?

You guys...my problem.

Number one rule Of the bird scene: Nobody's allowed to help you.

No one.

So this is what you did With your locker?

Yeah.

See, it's a dry erase board With a bunch of colorful pens In a convenient cup.

So whoever wants to, Can write or draw Whatever they want.

But you're supposed To decorate it yourself.

It's a hollywood Arts tradition.

Well, what's wrong With letting other people Be expressive on my locker?

Well, for one thing They can do that.

Yeah?

Yeah, well my locker's smarter Than your locker.

How can a locker be...

I don't know.

Oh, come on.

Somebody tell me How to do the bird scene Or I'm gonna cry.

Can't.

And don't be so whiny.

Yeah, man up.

Time for our first Ballet class.

Oh, ballet.

I didn't know I'd feel so awkward Wearing tights.

These things squeeze me In a bad way.

Yeah, you won't Be complaining When we're surrounded By lady ballerinas.

Aw man, it's a dude ranch.

So, you ready?

Oh, I'm way past ready.

Sikowitz wants "the bird scene?"

I'm gonna give him The bird scene.

I got props, I got a backdrop, And just to kiss up a little, I even got sikowitz Two large coconuts.

Those are good ones.

What's the deal With sikowitz and coconuts?

He says the milk Gives him visions.

All right, we're here...

We have much to do today, But first, Tori, the bird scene.

I'm ready.

And before I begin, I'd like you to have These two large coconuts.

Wonderful.

You know, their milk Gives me visions.

I've heard.

Very good.

Everyone, pay attention.

Tori?

One sec.

Oh, a backdrop!

And I am ready.

Delightful.

Action.

It was 1934

When my husband left me.

Alone, living on the prairie Was a dreary existence.

No telephone, no radio, Only a large, majestic bird With whom I shared my feelings.

One day when I was feeling low, I said to him, "Oh bird, you can fly.

"You can soar miles

"From this lonely place, "Yet you stay.

Why?"

And apparently, My question rang true, For that afternoon, The bird left.

And so went my spirit.

So, was that good?

Exactly what are you Asking me?

You know, did you like What I did with the scene?

Sure.

So did I get it right?

Oh no, you failed, again.

What? Why?

I did everything...

Hey, watch!

Where you throw your props.

Cat!

Hey!

You have to try something.

Handcuffs?

Huh, put 'em on one wrist.

Okay.

Good, and now we lock The other part around here.

Fun.

Okay, now try these.

Ah, candy!

Mmmm, these are so...

So hot, what are these?

Choo-Choo peppers.

They're burning my mouth.

I know.

You want some water?

Yes.

Tell me the secret Of the bird scene.

I can't, and I need water.

Oh, fine.

Wait, Tori!

Water.

Whatcha doing?

Angrily throwing books In my locker, can't you tell?

So did you figure out How you're gonna Decorate it yet?

Yes, look, I put a stripe on it.

Did you see the stripe?

I see the stripe.

Well, I don't know What to do.

Why don't you do something, You know, creative and deep?

What'd you do for yours?

Come on.

Clear?

Transparent.

I've got no secrets And neither does my locker.

Aw, that is creative And deep.

Yeah.

So, anyway...

About the bird scene.

Later.

Hey, Trina, can you help me?

I'm...

Sorry, gotta get to lunch Before they run out of paninis.

Man, this is humiliating.

Agreed.

I can't believe You got us into this.

Let's get outta this.

Madame makee?

Oui?

We're gonna Have to drop this class.

If you drop this class Then it goes on your Permanent record as a zehro.

Oh c'mon, You can't give us a "zehro."

Why do you want To drop zis class?

Look around, woman.

We're surrounded By dudes in tights.

It's just gross.

Hey, sorry I'm late.

Girl.

Hey, Robbie!

Hi, Rex!

What's doin'?

Did you guys quit ballet?

We can't, Unless we want a "zehro."

Well, I'm sorry You're feeling stressed.

Ohhh, it's okay.

I'm sure we'll...

I'm sure we can...

Would you keep doing that, Please?

Sure.

This is getting weird.

Hey, you know what's making me Feel stressed?

Tell me, I'll k*ll it.

It's this whole Bird scene thing.

Ah, there it is: The ulterior motive.

Hush, puppet.

Mmhm-Mmh-Mmhm-Mmh.

You'll help me With the bird scene, won't you?

I'm really not supposed to...

Ow, he bit my hand.

Rex.

Take me to the bathroom.

I gotta pee now.

He's a puppet.

He can't pee.

You don't know what I got.

All right, class.

All right.

Which dancers would like To show me the routine We were working on last time?

We would.

What?

We got this, man.

You're a maniac.

Andre, Robbie, to the front.

Don't talk to anyone Till I get back.

Positions.

Begin.

Let's take A five minute break.

Please make it 10.

20.

Happy birthday.

Who's birthday is it?

Somebody's, somewhere.

That's so true.

Where is Tori?

Here.

Oh... you brought curtains.

Let's do this.

Very good.

Ladies and gentlemen, Once again:

"The bird scene" starring Tori.

Vega.

Vega.

It was 1934

When my husband left me.

Alone, living on the prairie Was a dreary existence.

No telephone, no radio, Only a large, majestic bird With whom I shared my feelings.

You see the bird too, right?

Yeah.

Fantastic.

One day, When I was feeling low, I said to him, "Oh bird, you can fly.

You can soar miles From this lonely place, Yet you stay.

Why?"

And apparently My question rang true, For that afternoon my bird left, And so went my spirit.

That was impressive.

So did I get it right?

Nope.

But I just...

I'd...I did too get it right.

Tori, listen.

I'm not trying To be disrespectful.

But, you know, how hard I worked on this scene?

I made this costume.

I downloaded Special prairie music.

I even trained That crazy cockatoo to fly In and out of that window On command.

Not now.

Look, I know You're a great acting teacher And everything, But I don't care what you say.

The scene I just did was good, And I'm proud of it No matter what anybody thinks.

What?

You just passed

"The bird scene."

But you said...

Tori, the whole point Of the bird scene Is to teach a performer, Like yourself, To believe in your own choices No matter what others think.

We are artists, And a true artist Does not define success Based on hu, hee, hee approval From others.

A true artist need Only please himself Or herself or itself.

You don't know what I got.

So, all three times I did the scene...

...were delightful.

It was only wrong When you asked if it was right.

Drive-By acting exercise.

You're all elderly people Walking barefoot On broken glass.

Go.

You guys ready?

Whatever.

Make what shine?

It's the title of the song I sang in the big showcase.

Okay.

Whatever.

'Cause you know, That's what got me here In the first place.

I don't like it.

Maybe the words Should be bigger.

Yes.

I believe in my own choice, And I don't need approval From others.

Ah, the young female Has learned the ways Of "the bird scene."

I still think it's dull.

Yeah?

Well, then maybe I should make it shine.

Nice!

Light-Y.

Okay, are we going to eat Or what?

Oh, yay, food.

Come with?

Sure.