01x03 - Mother

Episode transcripts for the 2015 TV show "UnREAL". Aired June 2015 - July 2018.*
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"UnREAL" centers on a young staff member on a hit dating show who does everything she can to help please the show's executive producer.
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01x03 - Mother

Post by bunniefuu »

Graham: Welcome to "Everlasting."

Okay, come on, let's go, people.

You get cash bonuses for nudity, 911 calls, cat fights, all right?

Get me some good TV.

You're very lucky that your stunt got me booyah ratings last season.

I need your head in the game.

You could just get the show to drop the charges.

You guys got the car back, and I'm... and I'm paying off all the damages.

Anna Martin's father's in the I.C.U.

Your dad had a heart thing this morning.

I have to go home.

I'm just asking about a few more hours here, okay?

He's dead.

Husband.

What are you doing here?

Did you miss me?

Always.

Cynthia.

Hey.

You look incredible. I'm pregnant.

Were you not going to tell me?

It's not what it looks like.

I am done being the side-wife, and I am not waiting for you anymore.

Quinn.

Screw this and screw you.

Bethany. You owe me three months' back rent.

Here's your stuff. Except your laptop, that is.

You have 24 hours to pay me or the MacBook goes on Craigslist.

No. There's things on there that could hurt people.

Great reason to pay me.

I read your unsent sappy love e-mail.

Bethany, stop. Jeremy is engaged to Lizzie now.

I also found the crew list.

Pay me by 10:00 P.M. or it goes live to all of them.

[Cellphones chiming]

Adam: Hello, ladies.

So, this afternoon kicks off as all good dates do... with a cocktail party during which three of you will be chosen as guests for an intimate, romantic dinner.

And out of those three, one lucky lady will be selected
to enjoy a day-long date with yours truly.

I won't be picking the winner... [cellphone vibrating] .. or making any of the choices, in fact.

I'm leaving all of that to my best mate, Roger Lockwood.

Roger, come on in and say hello.

[Applause]

Roger: Well, thank you for having me here.

From looking around, I can see that Adam is one lucky man.


No one knows me better than Roger. He's like family.

I know what he likes in a woman and what he needs.

Man: And that's a cut.

Okay, ladies, you can relax, have some water...

Hey, um, let's get interviews on Maya, Athena, and Mary.

Copy.

Okay, Adam, you can take 10.

What?

Do you have something to say to me, or... ?

No, no.

I was... I was just reflecting on how broad-shouldered Jeremy looks today.

Oh, doesn't he, though? But still tender.

I know. [Laughs]

Hey, do I have to remind you that I have the power to make or break you on national television?

Oh, come on. That stuff you wrote to Jeremy... which you're a filthy girl, by the way... people have to be able to take the piss out of you...

People.

Yeah.

Not you.

Got it?

All right.

Good.

[Indistinct conversations]

[Sighs]

So, get bikinis and abs and...

[Cellphone rings]

Wow, somebody get some bronzer and slap it on Roger's pasty ass.

Can I get eyes on Adam, please?

Woman: I think he's in wardrobe.

[Breathing heavily]

Oh, God. Oh.

Oh, my God!

Oh.

[Muttering]

[Chuckles]

Hey. Uh...

Okay, it's all good.

But you of all people should understand a little on-set romance.

Don't. Don't. Don't do that. Don't. Stop.

Honestly, what were you thinking?

Not a lot of thinking going on, I'm afraid.

Clearly. It's just sort of old habits.

And with Grace, I mean, I don't know what they teach in South America, but...

Okay, you know what?

It's like... sorry, no, I won't bore you with any of this.

Just do me a favor and keep it in the pants, okay?

Prince Charming... he doesn't get his knob polished until he's in love.

Hey, Rachel, I've got your paycheck.

Thank you.

Man. We got to tell everybody.

Rach...

Hey, whatever you guys are about to say, I don't want to hear it.

Well, I was just about to tell you about Carl. Our D.P.?

He's leaving, sh**ting an indie in New York.

Man: Hey, Sam, I need you to look at this.

Eh. Yeah, I'll be right there.

Oh, and here at last is our very own miss Austen if your nasty.

"Dear Mr. Darcy, how much longer... " thank you.

[Sighs]

My, my, my, Goldberg, your love letter sure has everyone around here all hot and bothered.

Mm-hmm.

Um, by the way, Adam's Mike was open, and the sound guys say that Grace is a dirty talker, just like you.

Yeah, well, I found them. It's over.

Yeah, you're right it's over.

Sluts get cut. All right?

Nobody wants to take them home to their mommy.

Grace is dead wifey walking.

But you need to work on your girl Maya.

I think that she's been laying low, but she has wife potential.

But she's gonna need some prodding, so you need to get that one-on-one time with Adam right away.

And she's a sommelier, classy, you got it.

So then go and do it now!

You, too! Go with her now!

You, get out of my seat.

Yes, ma'am.

Rachel.

Hmm?

You sure are a little lightning rod for drama aren't you?

It's a perfect time for you to disappear somewhere.

Clock out. You're into triple overtime.

What are you talking about? Wait a second. No, no, no.

This is a big date.

You're not gonna let me produce my girls, seriously?

No, that was a rookie mistake letting Adam out of your sight.

So, what, are you punishing me now? Is that what you're doing?

You need sleep, okay?

You're getting those crazy eyes again.

You're no good to me like this.

Man: Quinn, Chet's looking for you.

Crazy eyes? [Scoffs]

Maybe 'cause of this.

It's $189.

Last season's meltdown wasn't cheap.

That's why we can't afford another one, okay?

Madison: Chet, can I get you to sign this?

Got amazing plans for the weekend?

It's Tuesday. I know that.

I don't know. Tuesday's halfway there.

Um, hey, you.

You're the one with the dad, right?

Well...

Uh, yes. Yeah.

I'm sorry for your loss.

Thank you. Thanks. Yeah.

Well, he... he had a lot of health issues, so...

What, he smoke cigarettes? 'Cause those things'll k*ll you.

No, actually, it was pot.

He's, uh... he was a huge stoner.

Oh. That's...

[Clears throat] Not good.

No.

How old was he?

Um... Oh, he was 48.

Okay.

Quinn: But seriously...

Rachel: Hmm?

Go to the beach or something, 'cause you look like crap.

Okay, that's not happening.

I mean, I can't drive. I don't have any money.

I mean, I have a D.U.I. do you remember?

[Chuckles] Are you seeing this? What is that?

Looks like somebody's going on a binge.

And that is her marker food.

What's a marker?

[Chuckles]

So, she knows when to stop when the orange comes back up.

It means she got everything else out.

It's a classic trick.

Go get rid of them, and then get lost.

I don't want to see you after that.

Yeah, but if she doesn't have her marker, she's gonna hurl till she pukes her brains out.

So? Our girls find our villain on the bathroom floor in a pool of her own puke.

It's good TV.

[Water splashing, indistinct conversations]

Grace.

[Sighs] Grace. Grace, hey, listen to me.

Look, I think that women should have any kind of sex they like, but if you want to win Adam, you're just gonna have to change your act.

Okay? Around here, sluts get cut.

Whoa! I'm a slut?

You should talk. That letter you wrote was...

Right, see, but I'm not on the show.

Season 3, Brandy snuck into Jason's room naked.

That night, she's on a plane.

You just don't want Adam to be with me.

I've seen the way you look at him.

[Sighs]

Grace, come on, you're one of my girls.

You win this thing, and it's a win for me, too.

If I could have your attention, please.

Um, as you all may know, our D.P. Here is leaving us.

Going to the big show, New York.

And I couldn't be happier for him. [Cheers and applause]

To Carl! To Carl.

Okay, everybody, back to work.

What? Think that should be you?

No. I mean, the money would be good.

Rachel said you're too good for this place.

I told you, we hooked up once.

And you know how much I regret it.

Hooked up?

Yeah.

She was in love with you.

And it kind of sounds like you were in love with her, too.

According to Rachel, you talked about quitting and moving to New York together.

We were drunk. We... we said a lot of sh*t.

So, you're saying you never even thought about it.

Thought about... ?

You never thought about leaving, D.P.ING movies like Carl.

I mean, yeah, of course. Who wouldn't?

I'm a... I'm gonna cam-op on a reality TV show.

See, because you never said anything like that to me.

I thought this was what you wanted.

We're getting married, Jeremy.

You said that we're buying a house together.

W-w-we still are. Lizzie, Lizzie.

You're making way too big of a deal out of this thing.

[Indistinct conversations]

Jeremy, I am so sorry, okay?

And I am so mortified.

I-I-I owed my roommate, like, all of this money, and so she... she... she took my computer hostage, and so when I didn't get the money...

God, there's always some story with you, Rach.

Is that why you screwed over Anna? I saw last night's episode.

Yes, and I mean...

The girl's father d*ed, you made her look like a psycho.

I never would have done that, okay? But I had to get the money to Bethany.

It was too late, obviously.

Don't your rich-ass parents live across town?

Couldn't you ask them for money? But, no, Quinn chums the water, and you're right there.

It's not that simple, okay?

Going home... it's not a good situation.

You know that. I just... I...

It can't be worse than here.

Look, Rach, you talk a good game, but...

[Sighs] I think you like it.

Don't you?

No, of course I don't like it.

That crap about Quinn forcing your hand?

You've got a meal ticket out.

You wouldn't be here if you didn't like the taste of blood.

[Cellphone vibrates]

[Beep]

Rachel, it's mom again. Call me back, please.

This is the fourth message I've left for you.


[Door opens]

[Whines]

[Sighs]

[Door slams] A nap, really?

Oh, lunch was just too exhausting?

You know that girl's father was two years older than me?

He drops dead.

Yeah, he had a history. You don't.

We have too much stress. We're working too hard.

No, I'm working too hard.

You're busy getting your wife knocked up and getting loaded.

Come here.

No, I have a budget meeting, and I have to go over these numbers.

Cancel it.

You need a break. Come here. Please.

[Sighs]

Get off of it. Get off the couch. Go on.

[Dog whines]

You're the only thing in my life that I've ever done right.

[Chuckles]

Don't get all sentimental.

You've done me, all right... six ways to Sunday.

That's not what I meant. You know it.

[Sighs]

Margaritas, senoritas?

[Applause]

[Chuckles]

Hey, I'm off the clock. I've got my cell but I'm just gonna go crash, okay?

What, don't you mean hide, hard core?

Aww. [Chuckles]

Don't worry about it.

When the dragon's away, the mice will play.

My girls are moving on up.

Bam!

[Laughs]

Really? Adam said that?

He did.

Adam wants to get to know you better.

He thinks you're wife material.

You're beautiful. You know wine.

I mean, he's opening a vineyard for God's sake.

The problem is he doesn't get to pick the next date.

Roger does.

Right, yeah. I-I know.

And Roger is... Kind of a slut.

Oh.

No, I'm... I'm not saying you have to do anything.

Right.

But, you know, if you want that one-on-one date with Adam, you got to... You know, come out of your shell a little bit.

Right. Right. Yeah, okay.

I-I brought liquid courage, if you need it.

I'll do one with you.

[Laughs] Okay, let's do it.

Oh, gosh.

Here goes.

To you and Adam.

[Glasses clink]

Yes, to me and Adam.

Okay.

Oh.

[Exhales sharply]

Okay. Now go. Go get your man.

Okay. Here goes.

Okay.

Here you go.

Thank you. And for you.

Oh, no thank you.

Adam: Oh, it's fantastic.

Excusez-moi.

Do you mind if I steal the boys for a bit?

Oh, thank you. I'll see you guys in a minute.

[Chuckles] Look at you.

Rachel.

Hi, mom.

Oh, so good to see you, honey.

[Sighs]

Yeah. [Chuckles]

[Laughter]

Oh, I am so sorry that I've been so shy.

I'm normally not like this in real life.

No? What are you like?

Mnh-mnh.

Mm... Actually, I'm a sommelier.

I heard that. That's fantastic.

I'm in the wine business.

Well, I do live for a good drink.

Good food, good... Company.

You know, I'm a total hedonist.

Are you now?

Mm-hmm.

I like that.

And I'm impressed that any girl here would actually know what that word means.

You are so terrible, aren't you?

[Chuckles] Oh, he is.

I don't think I'm drunk enough to enjoy him yet, though.

Only one way to solve that, eh?

[Gasps]

Yes, you got to catch up.

All right.

All right. There you are.

Thank you very much. [Clears throat]

To...

Good company.

To good company.

To good company.

[Glasses clink]

Cheers. Mm.

[Giggles]

To a good time.

[Giggles]

Hey, baby.

Hi, dad.

[Smooches]

What a pleasant surprise.

Rachel was just telling me about the new... new, um...

[Snaps fingers]

What do you call them?

Suitor.

Suitor, right.

Ah.

Oh!

One of my students wrote a paper on your show.

Absolutely fascinating.

Well, it is not my show.

[Laughs] And I'm sure it is a doozy.

I can't remember the exact title of it, but it examines the psychological effects of bully TV.

And as it pertains to your show, the effects of viewing women... As chattel.

That is awesome.

I'm sorry. You feel judged, don't you?

Don't do that, mom.

No, I know you know, so it's okay.

Don't shrink me. Save it for your patients, okay?

[Snorts]

[Chuckles]

Want some?

What happened to you taking better care of yourself?

I am. That's the first of the day.

I'm usually eight deep by now. You know that.

Mm. That is impressive.

[Chuckles]

You want to know what else is impressive?

[Gasps]

[Chuckling] Oh.

Huh? Huh?

Uh-huh. Uh-huh. You ready for round two?

All right. [Laughs]

Oh, okay, hold on. Hold on.

Okay.

[Both sigh]

Okay. [Chuckles]

And you wanted to go to a budget meeting.

Oh, silly me. Silly me.

[Both laugh]

Okay. Here we go.

Oh, God.

[Chuckles]

Mm. Okay.

Chet. Let's forget the condom, okay?

Let's just do it.

Just do it, okay?

Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God.

No, no, no, no, no. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I don't know why I said that. I'm sorry. Don't be. Don't be.

Okay. All right. Come on.

Yeah.

Ah! Come on!

[Both grunting]

Ah! Ohh!

My chest.

What?

My chest.

What?

My chest.

What? What?

Go on.

My arm's tingling.

What? Call 911. Call 911.

Aah! God.

Okay, okay.

[Cellphone dialing]

Uh, okay, uh...

[Groaning]

No, no, no, no, no.

Come on. Come on. Hi. Hi.

Yeah, I-I-I need an ambulance. I need an ambulance.

Uh, a heart att*ck. Heart att*ck.

[Groaning]

Man: And action.

Graham: All right, Roger is finally ready to reveal the three lucky ladies that are gonna join Adam and him on a romantic dinner.

Good luck.

Well, all of you are incredible, but we can only dine with three of you.

And those three are...

Grace, Anna, and Maya.

Man: And that's a cut. We're gonna go again, ladies.

[Monitor beeping]

[Cellphone rings]

[Sighs]

Are you currently on any medication?

Um...

Ativan, Ambien, Cialis, and Diovan for blood pressure.

Any history of heart disease in your family?

Hmm?

Oh, um...

Your grandfather, Ted, on your mom's side.

[Sighs]

We should really call your wife.

Oh, I thought...

Yeah... Uh...

Maya: Mm. Well, I guess I'm a little old-fashioned that way.

My mother stayed home and raised us when my sister and I were born.

Well, I personally think that a mother should have a life outside of the house.

Too much focus on the kids is just as bad as not enough.

Do you, uh... do you agree, lovely?

I think that it's a decision my husband and I will make together when it comes time to cross that bridge.

Very sensible... On a very dull topic.

Shall we, uh... shall we move on?

Agreed! Let's get this party started!

Shall we?

[Laughs]

Anna: Maya, what are you doing?

[Giggles]

Grace: Oh, my gosh.

Now, that's what I'm talking about.

Let's get this party started indeed!

Come on!
Olive: Rachel, please talk to me. Your roommate called, said you're three months behind in rent.

Bethany called?

[Sighs]

What do you need?

Um... $20,000?

Yeah, I have had some legal issues.

I mean, it was just a... it was just a misunderstanding, but, um...

A loan?

You know, just a loan.

Mm-hmm.

That would be really great.

That would help me, um...

You know, relieve a lot of pressure... At work.

[Chuckles]

I could be a better me.

Rachel, you know your father and I can help you...

Mm-hmm.

But not if you aren't willing to help yourself.

You and I need to resume our sessions.

Well, I already have a therapist.

Yep. And bonus... she's not my mother.

Really?

Yeah.

She works on the show, so...

Oh. [Laughs]

She's probably not even an M.D.

I'm doing fine, and she's helping me out.

Really? Because you don't look fine.

You're very thin, you're drinking too much...

I'm doing a lot better.

And obviously not taking...

And, this, what you're doing right now... this isn't ethical, okay?

You treating me... it's not ethical.

Those rules are arbitrary, okay?

Are you taking your meds? Which ones?

What am I prescribed for right now, because, uh, when we started out it was ADHD, then we moved on to bipolar.

And what came next... was it borderline or narcissistic personality disorder?

Because I always have a hard time with those two.

I'm like constantly getting them confused.

Well, it was very hard to pin down.

You are a very tricky girl.

[Chuckles]

Can you feel the bubbles?

Oh, yeah.

Sommelier. Oops. Excuse me.

Sommelier, what's your, uh... what's your name again, doll?

Maya.

Maya, well, I'm-a yours-a, Maya!

Oh! [Laughs]

You're naughty!

Mate...

Hey, you're making a fool of yourself.

I am?

Yeah.

I'm not the one who signed up to a whorehouse on the telly.

[Chuckles]

Woman: That's very sweet.

Okay.

Considering all your recent troubles, I think you should move back home for a while.

Um, our work would progress much faster if you weren't under so much stress.

Inpatient, huh?

Yes.

Yeah, just like you're doing with dad?

'Cause what do you have him on?

The guy is kind of seeming like a zombie.

Oh, that is so not fair.

Your father feels wonderful since he started Ceronix.

Rachel, these disorders run in families.

What I have learned from treating your father could really help you now.

[Sighs]

Rachel, I know you.

I see what you're trying to hide and how exhausted it makes you.

And it breaks my heart.

There's no shame in it.

You have a disease, period.

BPD is a chemical imbalance. This is not your fault.

Okay, well, Dr. Wagerstein says... that I don't present BPD...

Oh, Dr. Wagerstein.

Or any of the other things that you say that I have.

She says that there's nothing wrong with me. That there's...

Really? And I suppose that she is more qualified than your own mother.

I am just asking for some money.

[Sighs]

And you can have it.

[Sighs]

But we have to resume our sessions.

No, I can't, okay? I can't do it.

I am willing to do them over the phone...

I can't be your project anymore.

If you cannot absolutely...

And I know you don't approve, but I am damn good at what I do!

And the reason you are so good at what you do... the manipulation, the attunement... that is the disease.

Oh, God, Rachel. Look at me.

Please, please, please look at me.

Are you happy the way you feel right now?

Oh, baby.

Come here.

Shh. [Sobs]

Okay. [Sniffles]

Shh.

You have to admit that you're sick before you can get better.

[Door slams]

Screw you.

Screw you.

Screw you. Screw you.

Screw you.

[Sighs]

I'm sorry about before, about... All of this.

Look... If you want to quit, if you want to get out of here, I support you.

No, Lizzie.

No, I mean it.

Move to New York, work for Scorsese or somebody.

You just have to move there with me...

Not her.

You'd do that? Are you serious?

1,000%. Yeah.

Come here.

Anyone else need a top-off?

I'll take some.

I meant your top off.

Oh! Adam, save me.

Whoo!

Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!

[Dance music playing]

Whoa, now, this is my idea of a party!

[ Music continues]

Rog, rog. Remember, you're on TV.

Yeah, American TV. Who watches that?

[Laughs]

Was this your idea?

I just planted the seed.

[Scoffs]

Women: [Chanting] Maya! Maya!

Maya! Maya!

Maya! Maya! Maya!


Maya! Maya! Maya!

Whoo! Whoo!

So, my friend Adam always thinks that I go to far.

So, tell me... Is this too far?

[Women cheering]

[Music continues]

It's called mitral valve prolapse, and while it's not a serious condition, the symptoms can mimic a heart att*ck.

Probably triggered by the cocaine...

Oh, my God.

I told you.

[Cellphone vibrates]

Which we found a lot of in your blood.

And you are not a young man anymore.

[Sighs]

Now, here's the good news.

Talk.

What?!

Unbelievable. Okay, I will be there soon.

Just keep a lid on it until I get back.

Oh, hey.

Huh. Listen, I'm...

I'm really sorry about everything.

Oh, I'm fine. How are you holding up?

Okay.

Uh, why? [Chuckles] What do you mean?

Well, I mean Chet's not easy, but... He needs you.

Look, I've got the house, the cars, the vacations.

Chet has you.

But if you k*ll him with all this partying...

I get $40 million in life insurance.

What do you have?

Actually, I wanted to thank you for sleeping with him.

It is just one more thing off my to-do list, and it keeps him from wandering too far, so...

Thanks, Quinn. You're a real class act.

[Dance music playing]

Make sure that all the girls in the hot tub keep their drinks filled and have drinks in their hands at all times.

[Cheers in distance]

I don't want to hear anything about them...

Hey.

All right? Go.

Hey, what's going on?

Oh, it's just Roger and Adam partying with some of the girls. It's fine.

Get them out of there now.

Oh, I'm sorry. Did you not hear me? Now.

I'm getting great footage.

Oh, what with this music blasting?

Because we can't use it. We can't edit around it, so shut it down.

Or what? You're gonna tell Quinn?

'Cause I think she'd be interested to hear that you drove off in a show van with a suspended license.

You really do not want to mess with me right now.

[Dance music playing]

Woman: Shake it. Shake it.

Whoo!

[Music stops]

Hey...

Who did that?

What happened to the music?!

More champagne!

Oh.

Rachel: What the hell is this?

It's Rachel.

Uh-oh.

Huh, what is this?

Uh, it's a party for Roger.

Uh-huh. Who happens to be where?

Uh, he's...

[Thumping]

Who's in there?

We're all here except for Maya.

They got her pretty plastered.

Maya!

[Pounding on door]

It's Rachel.

You okay, babe?

Yeah.

Come here. Just come here.

I'm good. I'm good.

I'm okay. Okay.

Yeah.

Rachel: Sweetie, let me help you.

All right? You've had too much to drink.

[Door closes]

What the hell was that?

What do you think it was, mate?

Turn it off, mate.

[Stammers]

Away from the cameras.

It's not about the cameras. Why is she upset?

I'm just trying to have a good time.

A good time? What the hell is that?

There he is. Ready for round 2?

Oh, come on.

You're not still mad. She wanted it, mate.

Maya was too drunk to walk.

[Scoffs] I don't need them on their feet, do I?

Oh, you're disgusting.

You made an ass out of me today.

This show is my ticket.

To what? 15 minutes of infamy?

Haven't you already had that?

Exactly.

That's what I'm trying to repair, get my business back on track.

There's only one way back, and you know it.

Poppy still loves you, you know.

Poppy was gone as soon as the money was.

We were engaged.

And not her fault you got caught with prosties, though.

She kind of had to save face.

She never returned any of my calls.

Did she say something to you?

Yeah, she's cooled off. She misses you.

Just come back home, do the apology tour.

You two belong together.

Your father won't stay angry. It'll take a little groveling... my father, who ripped me in the press, stopped my mother and brothers from talking to me?

I don't think so.

All he wants is a respectable son, and this circus makes the whole family look bad.

Oh, God. Did he send you?

So what if he did?

Oh, my God.

That's proof right there he's willing to forgive.

No. I have had enough of him controlling me with his checkbook.

I have to be my own man.

[Scoffs]

Don't you understand?

We're trying to save you from being your own man.

All you do is fail at it.

[Chuckles]

I'm busy.

I want Carl's job. I want you to get it for me.

What? You've got Quinn's ear.

You should have talked to her a long time ago.

And commit you to this? No.

Rach.

Hmm?

Getting out was your dream. It's not mine.

Maya? Hey.

You don't have to do this, okay?

What are you talking about? I'm fine.

Why don't you just tell me what happened?

Nothing happened.

Just drank a little too much. That's it.

You don't feel like he forced himself on you?

No, I don't feel like... God.

Why make an even bigger deal out of this than it already is?

You think I have any chance of staying?

[Chuckling] Of course.

Look, Adam's not going to hold that Roger stuff against you.

Go.

What happened to you?

Seems my good friend Roger isn't so good.

Or a friend.

Yeah, no kidding.

I'm sorry, truly. That was...

Yeah.

Can we get touches for Adam, please?

Sam: Okay, people, let's do this.

Man: Copy.

Can we get some final touches on Adam, please?

Adam, how you doing? You warm enough? You okay?

Yeah, I'm good.

Okay, quickly, quickly.

Touches quickly, quickly. Thank you so much.

Everyone settle.

Action.

Ladies, it is now time for Roger to pick Adam's companion for the day-long date.

Have you chosen well, Roger?

Oh, indeed I have, Graham.

Adam.

Maya.

[Women gasp]

[Indistinct whispering]

[Clears throat]

Now it is time for the elimination round.

Ladies, for five of you, this magical fairy tale ends tonight.

[Car door opens]

[Indistinct conversations]

[Car door closes]

[Sighs]

This is my life. This sucks.

[ Cheering, dance music playing]

What a mess.

Yeah.

Well...

[Sighs]

This footage is useless.

Most of it is inane or covered in music, and...

The other half of it makes Adam look like a romance-hating man-whore, which he might be, but it's really bad for the damn show.

Hey. Look at me.

Do you remember what you said to me when you came back?

"I can do this, Quinn."

And I believed you.

Why are you angry at me?

You're the one that put Shia in charge.

Because.

Look at you.

I need you on the ball.

And you can't even wash your own hair.

[Voice breaking] That's not fair.

But I guess it's my fault.

I should have learned.

Okay, I can...

I can get it under control. I can take care of it.

Okay, then, do it.

'Cause I need an episode.

Get me something I can use.

[Sighs]

Dr. Wagerstein, hi.

Hi.

Hi. Are you okay?

It's kind of late. You're still here.

Oh, uh, I was looking for you, actually.

I-I've been watching footage.

Anna's vomiting's getting worse.

Oh, okay, yeah, um...

I'll take a look at it. I'll get into it. Thanks.

Thanks for the head's up.

O-okay.

Hey, Anna, how's it going?

Hey. Good.

Yeah.

Yeah. How are you?

I'm okay.

Um, look...

Grace is saying that she's a little bit worried about you.

Grace? Why?

Well, she's saying that she doesn't really see you eat.

You know, and that your weight's been yo-yoing a little bit and, uh... Frankly, we've noticed, too.

What?

You have to admit that you're sick before you can get better.

[Sniffles]

My dad just d*ed.

So, what do need to get this under control?

Honestly?

Uh-huh.

'Cause it's gonna sound completely mentally ill.

Try me. I've heard... hell, I've said almost everything.

Oh.

Cheesy puffs.

Cheesy puffs.

Or just anything that's bright orange.

Okay, I can do that for you.

Thank you.

Mm.

God, I'm sorry.

Hey.

You don't have anything to say you're sorry about.

But you do need to talk to grace.

Why?

Well, because she's turning Adam off with that sh*t she's talking, and it kills me.

You know, you have a legit disease, Anna.

That girl has never worked at being thin a day in her life.

No kidding.

So, listen...

All that anger that you point towards yourself...

Point it at the bitch who is ruining your future.

Woman: So, what, Maya does Roger, so she gets the date with Adam?

That's just... Blah.

She's gonna fit right in at Buckingham Palace.

Believe me.


We should talk.

Sounds about right.

I'll meet you in the car in a few.

Just let me wrap up.

Sounds good.

[Door opens, closes]

You did? Oh, my God, I love you. [Laughs]

I'm dying right now.

I'd do anything for a sleeping pill.

Hi, Grace.

Hi, honey.

Don't "honey" me.

What?

You said that I'm fat?

No. What?

What do you even know about it?

What's that supposed to mean?

It means that you can eat whatever you want.

You have your... your Greek omelet for breakfast, your cheeseburger for lunch... you don't even exercise, so you're barfing, too?

Or you just have some freak metabolism?

"Barfing, too"?

No. I would never.

And how do you know what I eat, anyway?

I-I just do. I can't... I can't help that.

Well, it's creepy.

Mind your own business, barfer.

I can't, grace. I am sick, okay?

And you shouldn't go running your mouth about things you couldn't possibly understand.

Oh, right, because I'm a model, my life is perfect and easy.

Yeah, pretty much.

Ladies, I'm sure we can work this out.

You guys... I can't with control freaks like her pushing poor, dumb models around.

[Chuckles] The thing is, Grace, I don't actually think that you're dumb, but I guess you do.

I mean, that's... that's probably why [Chuckles]

You sucked your way to get where you are.

Oh, boy.

What did you just say to me?

Yeah.

Oh, yeah, everyone, um, Grace here, she's been sucking Adam's...

[gasps] Don't you dare talk about me like that in front of everyone, What is wrong with you?

You stupid bitch.

You don't slap me. My God.

You don't hit me!

You keep my name out of your mouth!

You don't know anything about why...

You stupid, dumb, whiny bitch!

Say my name again!

[Sighs]

[Car door opens]

Um, Quinn just asked me to tell you she can't make it.

She ended up getting dragged into something.

She said you should just head home.

[Sighs]

[Indistinct shouting]

[Chuckles]

See? I knew you could do it.

So, I heard that you went home.

Yeah.

Hmm.

My mom thinks I'm seriously ill.

[Lighter strikes]

[Chuckles]

[Chuckling] Mental.

There is nothing wrong with you.

You're a genius.

[Indistinct shouting continues]

I'm never getting out of here.

Why would you want to?

You're home.

That's good TV.

[Fabric tearing]
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