02x06 - Casualty

Episode transcripts for the 2015 TV show "UnREAL". Aired June 2015 - July 2018.*
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"UnREAL" centers on a young staff member on a hit dating show who does everything she can to help please the show's executive producer.
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02x06 - Casualty

Post by bunniefuu »

Between you and me, we can make shows that actually mean something.

And there is John Booth.

The guy that just bought our network?

Everyone here knows that you're the true creator of "Everlasting."

You're a legend.

You want to come home with me?

My dad d*ed.

Funeral's tomorrow.

I still need a coffin.

Graham: Welcome this season's suitor, Darius Beck!

Madison: Beth Ann's on the move.

If you really want to go home, there is one thing pretty much every guy does not want their potential wife to do.

Tiffany: Yeah, what's that... screw their friends?

Ruby, do you have plans this evening?

Where is Ruby? I want to see my daughter right now.

Please.

Ruby!

Dad?!

What the hell?

You can be everything my father says that you're not.

It's gonna be too much work disappointing you every day, Ruby.

You're a selfish, manipulative bitch.

You want to demote me? You demote me to my face.

You're fired.

[Door opens]

Hey, kiddo. It's Chet.

You decent?

Still in your dress, huh?

Um...

Um, my zipper got stuck.

Oh.

Okay, thanks.

Jeremy can't get away with this.

He didn't. I fired him.

Okay, well, I'm gonna go to the police.

I just don't feel like we ever report anything around here, and I'm just not gonna be another silent woman, so I'm just gonna go to the police.

I don't know know. The police and Jeremy... you think that's a good idea?

I think it's a really good idea.

You sure you want to do that to Jeremy?

Yes.

You sure you want to do that to us?

Jeremy knows where all the bodies are buried.

Some bodies fall off of roofs, and certain people cover that up.

Did you see what he did to me?

Yeah, I saw what he did. I thought I was gonna k*ll him.

But it's our word against his, and if he talks...

This has to stay in the family.

[Sighs]

♪ ♪

[Door closes]

♪ Last night ♪
♪ I thought of you ♪
♪ The years ago ♪
♪ When bodies grew ♪
♪ Empty home ♪
♪ A vacant Hell ♪

[Camera shutter clicking]

♪ I knew you ♪
♪ In the harsh realm ♪

It is our annual rite of spring... with budding tulips, flowering cherry blossoms, and here on "Everlasting," the efflorescing of nascent love as one lucky lady gets a chance to take Darius on a hometown date.

But outside the gates of this mansion, America, every relationship is put to the real-life test.

Who will be chosen?

And will their romance survive?

For a man with no friends, that was an enormous bouquet.

[Chuckles] Well, they're from Chet, and Chet only knows one way, which is enormous.

Where to next?

Bright side, anything's a step up over your father's funeral.

[Chuckles] I told you it would be a barrel of laughs.

Uh... listen.

I need to come clean about something.

I went to that awards show to meet you.

Well, I'm flattered.

To pitch you.

To seduce you into giving me one of your networks to run.

But now...

You don't want a network anymore?

Oh, I want a network.

It's just...

I might want you, too.

[Gasps softly]

Hmm.

Hmm.

[Both chuckle]

How do you feel about the Bahamas?

Mm. Let me guess.

You own a hotel.

Actually, it's an Eco-resort on its very own archipelago.

Oh, so, you own some islands.

Hmm. Well, you're gonna have to work a little harder than that to impress me.

[Laughs]

Hey, you.

Hi.

Check this out.

Come here.

We look like a real power-producing couple.

Oh. [Laughs]

Wow.

It's ridiculous.

Yeah.

Sorry about last night.

I was just in a weird mood.

I thought about you all night, though.

Mm.

Like, really good thoughts, too.

Really?

What's going on?

I bet. I just, um...

I don't want to hear about them just now.

I... Ugh. I have, like, this crazy coffee breath.

Hmm. Maybe brush your teeth again.

[Chuckles] I will. I will.

Um, you know that today's gonna be totally crazy with the hometown dates. These girls are just...

Yeah. Well, Jay and Madison can handle it, right?

Mm.

What's wrong?

I just feel like I should go deal with Darius right now, you know what I mean?

If you mean talking him into picking Beth Ann, good luck with that.

Thank you.

Whoo! Yeah, definitely brush your teeth.

Dan: Hometown dates pitch, take one.

Hey, Darius.

I can't wait for you to meet the whole family.

Hope you like Southern cooking.

There's a Frank Lloyd Wright exhibit at The Guggenheim this weekend.

How ironic is that? [Chuckles]

No one is bigger in the ATL than the Big "D."

I never thought that I could fall in love with a football player.

I just really want to show my fellow police officers that a cop in Chicago can have a black man in her car without him being in handcuffs.

You see, it's ironic because Frank Lloyd Wright designed The Guggenheim.

Okra, fried chicken.

You ready to come home and meet the head coach in my life...

If you want to put a ring on it... my dad?

you got to ask him first.

Can I... Can I start over?

Why are you making that face, Jay?

It's funny.

Warm, comforting... just as a wife should be.

So, what do you think, Darius? Have you made your choice?

Tough call, Graham.

I mean, all these ladies have so much to offer.

I think I'm gonna need some time to reflect.

What do you think, Rach? Is that okay for an act break?

Tension over who to choose?

Yes, Graham, it's fine, but don't think, okay?

It makes you look fat.

"D," how you doing?

Good. Great.

Chantal looked pretty good.

Mm. Well, then why did you tell Graham you hadn't decided yet?

'Cause I hadn't.

And Jay said that I should just wait... dramatic tension or something.

But I'm all about that ATL.

Uh-huh. You mean Alabama?

Alabama? Why would I be going to Alabama?

Uh, because you're gonna pick Beth Ann.

[Laughs] Miss Fried Chicken and Watermelon?

Yeah.

I don't think so.

I think so. Can I be honest with you for a second?

I don't know. Can you?

Last episode was really harsh, what you did to Ruby.

Whoa. What I did?

I'm just saying that the fans now see her as this victim, all right?

So, we got to make you look like a good guy again, and for that, we need a villain.

There is nobody better to terrorize you than Beth Ann.

What don't you understand, okay?

Look, I'm not going anywhere with Beth Ann.

I'm not trying to get lynched.

Lynched? That's kind of harsh, dude.

There's a big difference in harsh and realistic.

You want to be realistic, I'll be realistic.

Okay, Chantal is a snooze.

You are gonna smile, eat good food, and go to bed early just like every single person in our audience.

The rating's are gonna t*nk, okay?

You're gonna become the lowest-rated suitor in "Everlasting" history.

They're gonna pull us off the network and sell us to some, like, niche cable channel sponsored by Ambien.

I'd like to see you get an on-camera gig after that.

Rachel?

Hmm?

Read my lips. I'm not going to Alabama.

This is not a question, okay?!

I am your quarterback, and I want you to run my plays!

Look, if you're calling the plays, then you suck at it.

Because so far, you've run me into an epidural, f*ring my cousin, and some girl's daddy.

No, I have run your ass into ratings, dude, okay?

This is my job, and I do it every stupid day of my stupid life.

But if you want to go ahead and blame me and destroy your life and ruin your career, you know what?

Then go ahead. Go ahead, do it.

Get yourself canceled! Put me out of my misery!

Rachel, Rachel. Calm down, all right? You okay?

I don't know! I honestly don't know! Am I?!

I need you to be.

[Voice breaking] Can you please just go pack for Alabama?

Yeah.

Yeah, I'll go pack.

Alabama. Alabama, here I come.

I'm... I'm... I'm gonna pack.

Rachel? How you doing?

I'm fine.

Okay, guys. Let's get back to work, all right?

Find something better to do with your time. Let's go.

What about Big Sur?

What about it?

I have a room on hold at the Post Ranch Inn whenever I want it.

Oh, is that where you take all the ladies?

No.

[Both laugh]

[Cellphone rings]

Ugh. Hold on a sec.

[Beep]

What's going on, Chet?

[Blender whirring]

Where are you, kiddo?

I'm at my father's funeral.

Hey, did you get the flowers? You didn't mention them.

I'm thinking maybe you hated them.

You are the only person who could make my father's funeral about you.

That's not why I called.

Uh, it's Little Weirdo.

Uh, she snapped at the suitor.

Last night I found her...

Uh, not alone in the car, Chet.

Chet? What is it?

You got to get back here. [Sighs]

I'll, uh, figure something out.

♪ ♪

What are you doing?

Just hanging out, smoking a butt.

How'd it go with Darius?

Great.

Alabama?

Mm-hmm.

Wow. Excellent. You want a red-eye, or should we leave in the morning?

Come on, Wasserman. You're not coming.

Stop it. Of course I am.

Look, it's gonna be 24 hours of mosquitos and swamps.

You would totally hate it.

I wouldn't want to do that to you.

Besides, I'm not great company right now.

Rach, what... Why not? What's going on with you today?

This is what we've been talking about.

We're bringing a black guy to the South.

Come on, Vassar. Let's go get into some trouble.

Damn. Back on the plantation.

Hey, look. Your ancestors suffered for years.

You can survive a couple of days.

[Scoffs] Yeah, says the white woman to the black man in the backwoods of Alabama.

Why do I feel the need to take off running?

You shouldn't. These people are gonna be great.

Coleman: It's gonna be great.

They're gonna love you.

He's here! He's here!

Come out. Come out.

Come out! Come on!

Oh, all right, all right. Everybody stay calm, please.

Smile.

[Laughs]

Hi, Darius!

Hey!

Welcome to Alabama!

Alabama.

I... Whoo! This is... Alabama.

[Laughs]

We're excited!

Thank you. This is...

Both: Mwah.

Let the freak show begin.

Oh, my God. And who do we have here?

This is my mama.

How you doing?

Oh, just tickled to meet you.

This is your mama. How you doing?

Beth Ann: Sweet as pie. This is my brother, Carl.

One hell of a ballplayer.

And this is my daddy.

Coleman: Kind of looks like our freak show is turning into a love fest.

I mean, that bikini didn't come out of nowhere.

Where's the drunk uncle? Where's the KKK?

I cannot believe I'm meeting Darius Beck.

We're pleased at all get out to have you in our home.

[Whispering] Oh, my God.

The pleasure's all mine. Carl.

You know... Beth Ann, she just says the nicest things about you.

Okay, Daddy. [Laughs]

Darius: She's sweet.

You know, we got something out back here for you to show you a real Alabama welcome.

What do you mean Rachel took her? She's my girl.

Please. She's a solid-gold ratings r*cist.

Of course Rachel took her.

But I still get the credit, right?

I mean, Beth Ann's picture's under my name on the board.

At this point, you'll be lucky if you still got a job.

You don't know what you're talking about. Quinn loves me.

Okay, "A," Quinn doesn't love anybody, especially not you, and, "B," Quinn's not in charge.

Rachel's down in Alabama creating some sort of cr*cker-town sh*t show while we sit up here twiddling our f'ing thumbs.

So... we should...

Blow something up.

Keep our girls in the mix and get the attention back on us. You feel me?

Yes. Absolutely.

[Laughs]

Okay. Put your thinking cap on, Pigtails.

We got some work to do.

[Computer keys clacking]

Why don't you grab a cup of coffee from craft service and take a look around the set?

I'll just be a minute.

All right.

Call me when you're ready.

Okay.

Mm. [Chuckles]

Took him to your dad's funeral, huh? You hardly even know him.

Is that why you called... to ruin my date?

Wasn't a date. It was a funeral.

Yeah. Weirdest first date ever.

I think I'm in love, Chet.

Okay, enough, all right?

Something did happen. The kid's in trouble.

Is this your first time?

[Laughs] Look at that.

[Chuckles]

You're a good sh*t, Darius.

I do what I can when I can do it, yo.

I think you sh**t almost as good as you throw.

[Laughs]

You hungry?

I've got some food coming. My wife's a fantastic cook.

Okay, okay. What we got over here?

Come on. Sit yourself down.

Give this man a beer, darling.

Oh, my God. This isn't a TV show, this is a hootenanny.

Okay, this is an infomercial for the post-racial South.

[Cellphone ringing]

Yeah. Sorry. I mean, we got to do something.

What if we get Darius to...

Wait a second. Give me one second.

I'll be right back. Give me one second.

Hello?

Chet just told me about Jeremy, and when I see him, I'm gonna rip off his balls, deep-fry them, and forced him to eat them.

Are you seriously gonna pretend that you care about me now, Quinn?

I do care about you.

Right.

Did you pack your meds?

Oh, yeah. God forbid I should have some of my own thoughts without pharmaceuticals pumping through my veins.

[Scoffs] Rachel, you have been through a trauma, all right?

You are in no condition to produce a show.

So, I'm gonna get on the next flight, and I'm...

Okay, thanks for caring. See you tomorrow.

[Cellphone beeps]

Beth Ann: Rachel.

Hi.

What... What's up? What's going on?

I have a problem.

What?

[Voice breaking] It's a... It's a real big problem.

I just found out I'm having a baby.

I was late, but I figured it was just because of all the excitement with the show.

I don't know what to do.

I mean, this is the worst thing that could have possibly ever happened.

Oh, my God. Beth Ann.

[Sighing] Okay.

You just listen to me. This is gonna be okay.

We're gonna get through this together, I promise you, okay?

[Sighs]

[Whispering] I promise you.

I don't want Darius to know about this.

If he knew that this baby came from my ex-boyfriend's DNA, he would never even look at me again.

Brock has been to prison... and not just jail, prison.

Mm-hmm.

That has got to affect a baby.

Yeah, yeah. Where is this Brock guy?

He lives just two streets over.

He's lived here my whole life.

I'm so screwed, Rachel. I...

You know what you could do?

You could quit the show.

No, I don't want to quit the show.

Good. Because... I'm, like, really starting to feel a connection between you and Darius.

I have, too.

Yeah.

You can see it?

Oh, my God. Yes.

It's like a total spark. Honestly.

It is.

Yes, and I wouldn't have said that a few weeks ago, but that is the power of this show.

It is, but...

Yeah.

You really think that Darius could ever accept another man's child?

Oh, my God. Yes.

I mean, you said it yourself.

He's, like, the greatest guy ever.

He is a really nice guy.

Yeah.

He'd be a good dad.

You know, and, um... Beth Ann, my father wasn't my biological father, but he loved me and my mother so, so much.

He did?

I mean, I was so loved, Beth Ann.

You were?

Yeah. I'm just telling you that this does not have to be over for you.

We can work this, okay?

But you're just gonna have to listen to my advice.

Can you do that?

Mm-hmm.

Okay.

I don't want to leave the show.

I don't want you to, either.

All right.

[Whispering] You could win this thing.

You steaming pile of sh*t.

[Sighs] Nice to see you, too, Quinn.

You b*at her up?

That's not exactly how it happened.

Your hand on her left bruises.

There's not a thing in the world that makes that right.

Her elbow to my nose... broken first!

She's 5'2", Jeremy. No excuse ever.

I can't believe you're still defending her.

Walks around like this little troll so that everyone's like, "Oh, poor Rachel. Poor Rachel."

[Scoffs] You're an idiot.

Wake up, Quinn. She stole your show.

It's gone. Over.

Somebody needed to stand up to her.

Oh, yeah? Is that right?

How about that?

Ow! Ow!

Huh? Huh?!

What do you want to do, Jeremy? You want to hit me?

Does that get you off... hitting women?

Come on. Go ahead.

[Coughing]

Next time... I'm cutting them off.

Now get out and don't come back.

"Mirror of Truth." I love it. Which genius came up with that?

Me.

I did.

Oh, please. You came up with the concept, but I'm the one bringing it to life.

You remember we need drama, drama, drama.

You're being very results-oriented.

[Chuckles] I like my segments to explore provocative topics, relatable issues of female self-image and empowerment.

I'm imagining the contestants really opening up to you.

You have a wonderful way about you.

[Chuckling] Oh, well...

What is happening in here?

The show's in Alabama today, people.

Yeah, well, Rachel stole one of my girls.

As producers, we decided why waste a day.

So, we came up with a new segment using the girls who were left behind.

Mm. Look at you, going all rogue.

Go. Carry on.

So, my situation here is a little less containable than I thought.

Right.

Are we talking a couple of hours, or...?

Um, listen.

You're great, and I love spending time with you, but I have a real issue here, and you need to, uh...

Leave. I get it.

I'm sorry. I just...

No, it's okay. Don't be silly.

Look, I've been playing hooky.

I should probably make an appearance at the office anyway.

Call me when you're ready.

Okay.

Quinn...

Shut up.

Chet: You know, I got to be honest with you. [Sighs]

He is one beautiful woman.

I get it... the whole diversified genius thing.

I-I could be that guy.

No, you can't, Chet.

I can...

If you could have, you would have.

I am going to be that guy.

Okay.

I'm gonna prove it to you. I'm gonna be that guy.

I'd like to introduce Dr. Wagerstein's "Mirror of Truth."

What, is she like trademarking? I came up with it.

Whatever. We'll cut that part out.

All of you will take a long, hard look into the Mirror of Truth and tell us why you think Darius didn't take you home?

Yael, are you ready to gaze into the Mirror of Truth?

See what little Miss Perfect has to say.

I think Darius didn't take me home because he's intimidated.

I get that a lot.

You know, because I'm smart, guys think that I can't, like, get down on their level or be cool with their friends.

You want me to go give them more drinks?

Yeah, ply them with liquor, please.

She's so snobby.

Or maybe he just thought my family was gonna be too fancy or uptight or something.

As opposed to...?

As opposed to what?

As opposed to our ghetto-ass families?

[All talking indistinctly]

Oh, my God. That is not what I said.


You didn't have to say it, honey, I heard it.

You just... You're putting words in her mouth!

All right. Pass me the mirror, sister.

[Sighs]

Okay. I think Darius didn't take me home because... he doesn't like cops.

Oh, if we're being honest... and that's what we're doing in this little love nest.

If we're being honest, the short hair...

What?

Like, I totally get what you're going for, but I really think that it makes you kind of...

Say it. What about my hair?

It kind of makes you look... like...

You don't have a vag*na.

What?!

[Laughs]

There it is!
[All talking indistinctly]

Hey, you want to produce something?

I mean, like, really produce?

Okay, listen to me.

Wow. You guys, come on.

Jameson.

Hey, hey, hey!

I know that must be difficult to hear.

Express what your feelings are right now.

I feel like these b*tches are wrong, okay?

My hair makes me look strong and fierce.

Every guy wants to stick it into someone strong and fierce.

[Laughs]

Okay, okay.

Gold.

[Rooster crows]

Wasserman.

Hey. Rachel, okay.

Come here. Come here. Come here. Come here.

Here's what I'm thinking.

Shh! Shh! Shh!

So, we get Darius...

Just listen to...

Wait a minute. Just listen to me for one second.

I literally have the best news I've ever had in my entire life.

Are you ready?

Yeah? What?

Beth Ann has a future Tr*mp supporter growing in her uterus right now.

She's got a what?

Exactly.

Wait.

I'm not even kidding.

She's pregnant, and I convinced her to tell her parents and Darius on-camera tonight.

You're welcome.

Wow.

Mm-hmm.

Okay.

Okay.

That's amazing.

Yeah. I don't understand why you're not more excited.

Anyways, I have a lot to do, [Whispering] I'll talk to you later.

Okay.

Bye.

Jay! Jay!

Come with me.

I just want to talk through the process of what I've got going on here.

So, these are the things I think I'll need.

Coleman, I'll be back in a minute.

Yeah.

Okay, so listen. This is what I need.

What the...?

[Beeps]

Hey. Did you miss me?

How is she?

Who?

Who do you think?

I don't know.

If you're talking about Rachel, she's fine.

Why wouldn't she be?

You think she can't function without you?

Oh, and you think you're Mr. Inside Track?

She hasn't told you a thing, has she?

About what?

Jeremy!

Okay? He slapped her around last night, and apparently she's got bruises up and down her arm, You keep her on that set, and she is a time b*mb.

I need you to get her home now.

Look, she seems fine to me, Quinn.

I'm looking at her right now.

[Chuckles] Okay, let me guess.

Right now, she's backed into a corner, chewing on her fingers like they're Twinkies, eyes a-blazing, talking as if her words are gonna save the world.

I'll call you back.

[Cellphone beeps]

[Laughs]

Okay, okay. Okay, ladies.

Ladies. Ladies, let's move on.

Tiffany, why don't you go next?

I think Darius didn't pick me

because he's scared of his feelings.

[Laughs]

He is.

He has so much pressure and expectation surrounding him all the time. It's scary.

Yeah. Keep telling yourself that.

Um, I think he's probably just scared of all the STDs that are probably floating around in that pretty little mouth.

[All talking indistinctly]

I don't have any STDs.

What the hell is she talking about?

She's saying that she...

Yeah, I heard, Dan. Thank you.

Maybe he just doesn't want his cousin's sloppy seconds?

W-whoa. His cousin?

You got with Romeo?

Where did you hear that?

Does it matter?

Did you just feed that to her?

I saw you go in and whisper.

I was just producing, Jay.

It's okay.

Tiffany, this is a safe space.

Everyone's being open now.

Yeah, it's so safe.

Super safe, Tiff.

Let's hear it.

Is it true? Did you hook up with Romeo?

Yes.

[All talking indistinctly]

Ohh!

[Laughs]

Yes, but it's not what you think.

It's okay! It's 2016!

It's not... It's so not what you think!

Football princess, hey? We got two sluts in the house.

[Laughs]

I am a police officer!

Perfect.

[Horse whinnies]

It's just I can't believe this whole thing just fell in our laps.

Rach.

We just have so much to do when we get back.

Rachel, look, hey.

I'm, like, so happy for us.

I feel kind of, like, emotional about it.

Okay, so, I know what happened.

What? With what?

With Jeremy.

Quinn just called and told me just now.

She's worried about you.

I am, too.

I'm totally fine.

Okay.

I'm totally fine. I don't...

My thing is I want to get to the airport right now.

We got to get back, and I got to deal with Jeremy.

I want him off the show. He's never allowed on set ever.

You are being so dramatic. This is, like, not that...

I think you're downplaying this entire thing a little too much.

I'm not...

This is...

Yeah, I'm totally fine.

Do you want to know why I'm fine?

I'm... You don't seem fine.

No, I am totally fine.

I'm, like, sitting here, and I'm doing my job.

I'm working my ass off.

Okay.

I'm producing this show with this...

Okay, okay.

Pregnant r*cist chick.

Okay, okay, okay.

I mean, this is like manna from heaven.

I don't know what we are talking about. I'm sorry.

My next point here...

You're making me feel crazy right now.

I'm worried about outing a pregnant girl in front of her family on national television.

This is who you care about?

You're not yourself, and you're taking it out on Beth Ann.

Excuse me?

We came down here to bring a black suitor to the South.

That was our plan.

This is the one.

Just that. I feel like you're jumpy today.

I'm blown away.

I just want to remind you what we have done this season.

We locked, like, some chick in a room, hired an extras casting to come in and lie and say that she's her mother.

Yep.

Okay, we give him an epidural.

We have Ruby's father come in with the cameras.

Rachel, I know...

But this is the pregnant girl.

They're fine.

This is who you're mad about? This is who you care about?

No, I'm worried about you.

I am...

I am totally fine.

Okay? So can we please go and just blow this up?

Hey, there you are. [Chuckles]

Why the sad face... other than being doused in champagne?

I don't know.

Maybe it's because I'm stuck in a McMansion with three gossipy b*tches while Darius is in Alabama with little Miss Ku Klux Klan.

[Chuckles] I don't know how those girls found out about Romeo.

What if I told you I could help you?

How? By sleeping with the entire team?

[Laughs]

I've got a deal for you.

You take my advice, I'll get you into Darius' room.

You leave all this Romeo business behind you.

And in return?

You introduce me to your dad, soften him up a little bit.

I'm looking to diversify my portfolio, maybe take a minority interest in a pro football team.

You help me out, I'll get you in the final two, and, uh, I'll do everything in my power to get you to the altar.

What do you say?

Don't worry about the background... the messier, the better. Honestly, that's fine with...

Guys.

Hi.

Hey.

Um, you know where Rachel is?

Yeah, she's over with "B" cam.

They're gonna sh**t from a different angle.

What's going on? Everything all right?

I don't know if I can do this, to be honest.

Hey, if you don't want to tell your parents, then don't.

Yeah, but Rachel said that this is the only chance I'm gonna get to tell Darius, and...

I know. I know what she told you.

Just do whatever feels right for you, okay?

Okay, I'm gonna listen to Rachel.

I think she knows what she's doing.

I'm... I'm sorry that I bothered you.

Thank you.

Okay.

Hey, everyone! How you doing?

I just wanted to say a few words.

Hey, "B" cam, move into position near the back. mostly to Darius.

Thank you so much for coming all the way down to Alabama.

[Chuckles] Yeah. Let's have a big hand for him, y'all.

[Cheers and applause]

Mom: So happy to have you.

You're just gonna tell her, you know, that she... she's the woman of your dreams. She's carrying your baby.

Your life wouldn't be the same without her.

You're gonna give her this.

Oh, you bought a ring.

Oh, my God. Yeah.

We think of everything around here.

Oh, it's beautiful.

It also means that you and I, We share a connection, [Voice breaking] and in order to keep that connection, I have to be honest with you and with everyone else here tonight about something that is, um, not so easy to say.

Okay. I'm pregnant.

[All gasp]

What?

[Coughs]

What did you say?

Get Brock.

Beth Ann!

Dad: What...

Uh, no!

What's he doing here?

I came as soon as I could. I missed you so much.

What's he doing here?

What are you doing?

Brock, get up! What are you doing?!

Brock: You're my girl, Beth Ann.

[Voice breaking] Do not do this to me!

Y-You've always been my girl. I love you so much, and... and now I'm asking I-if you will be my wife.

No!

No?

Hey, hey! Cameras off! Get that camera off!

Cameras off! Come on, now!

What do you mean "no"?

You and me, we need to have a different kind of conversation right about now.

Not right now, Daddy.

You're carrying my baby.

You don't know that.

You're saying it's not mine?

I'm saying that I don't know whose baby it is.

Beth Ann, whose baby could it be?!

Oh, hell, no!

No. No, no, no.

Man, I never t...

[All shouting indistinctly]

Tell him I never touched her.

You better not have put your filthy hands on my girl!

This is why you need to go!

Rachel!

Rachel!

[All shouting indistinctly]

Brock, this baby is not yours!

Push in from there!

This guy?!

Stop it!! I love him!!

Wait, what? You love me?

I do. I love you.

Pump your brakes. Pump your brakes.

[Crying] I didn't know it was possible, but I love you.

Pump your brakes. Pump your brakes.

What?

Come on. Bring it. Yeah, what?

I'm he...

[Shotgun cocks]

Now you get on out of here right now, or I'm calling the Sheriff.

Go on.

Right now.

What kind of stupid whore did you turn into?

Hey, watch your mouth, man.

You shut your mouth.

Go.

Whoa!

Oh.

Rachel? I'm embarrassed right now.

I'm so sorry, Darius.

[Whispering] Here you go. Here you go.

Thanks so much.

[Beth Ann crying]

Dad: I'm sorry.

Hey.

Hey.

Mm.

Rachel.

Oh, my God! I can't help myself!

Rachel?

Beth Ann: [Crying] I'm so sorry.

Just... I'm so happy for us.

Okay.

Come on. [Chuckles]

Come on. Come on.

Welcome home.

Oh, my God. It never ends.

I'm sorry. I just have to talk to you.

Okay. What's up?

Well, the truth is, I really like you, Darius, and I was kind of hurt that you didn't pick me.

You think I wanted to get att*cked by Beth Ann's meth-head boyfriend?

[Laughs]

No. I got played, Tiffany.

Duh.

And I feel like we're getting manipulated every step of the way.

I've been manipulated since the first day I got here.

Who cares?

What are you talking about?

It's about Romeo.

What about Romeo?

So, what, you're trying to get rid of Tiffany now?

What? No. I'm trying to help her.

I'm the one who suggested she clear the air with Darius.

It's called honesty.

Wins every time. It's how you get what you want.

Oh, just give it up, Chet.

I haven't even started, my friend.

I have not even started.

Finally, you're back.

Um, Rachel, let's go talk in my office.

Let's all talk. Could everyone step outside and give us a moment, please?

We weren't working or anything.

[Clears throat]

I don't know what the hell is wrong with you people!

There's procedures for things like this.

We need to call the police, get a police report, and then we call HR.

Hey! Hey! Nobody's calling the police.

That's been decided.

By you two.

Rachel and I discussed it.

Yeah, no police, no investigation.

That's best for everyone.

Rachel, what do you want to do?

It's your decision, it's not ours.

Look at me. Don't look at them.

Don't look at them right now. Look at me.

I'm here for you... whatever you want to do.

Yeah, I want to drop it. I don't want to go to the police.

Are you sure?

Yes, she's sure.

What part of that did you not get?

Wait...

You should be ashamed of yourselves.

Both of you.

[Door slams]

What the hell's happening to our family?

Ever since Coleman's got here, everything's gone to hell.

That boy's like a cancer. We need to cut him out.

How?

You know, I think Rachel's in love with that guy.

I've never seen her like this before.

[Chuckles]

Oh.

I have.

Hello, gorgeous.

What are you doing right now?

[Laughs]

[Insects chirping]

And now it is time for tonight's elimination ceremony.

Four of our ladies have won keys to Darius' heart.

One, unfortunately, has not.

All right, let's widen out and get the whole room, please.

And that lady tonight will need to say farewell.

Darius.

Chantal.

All right, let's go tight on Darius.

Yael.

[Sighs]

Jameson.

Ooh.

Thank you.

I've said this before.

Honesty is probably the most important thing in terms of...

I'm sorry. I need to say something.

I need to tell the truth.

Beth Ann...

No! I want America to know... that you never touched me as much as I might have wanted you to.

You've been a perfect gentleman, and there's no way that you could be the father of my child... unless, somehow, you chose to be.

Push in on Darius for that.

Let's really make him uncomfortable.

I know I came here a different person with some not-so-good ideas.

But please don't cut me tonight.

Please.

This is gonna be good.

Let me show you that we can make a great team, that we can make a family.

Beth Ann...

I'm sorry. I can't.

But... it took guts to stand up like you just did, and that's why I want to put some money aside for your kid's college fund.

Come here.

That's a classy act.

It's gonna be okay.

Tiffany.

All right, guys. Let's position up to get those cameras onto Beth Ann when she comes out crying.

Beth Ann, it is time for us to bid you adieu.

Sayonara. Adiós.

Shalom.

Two each, honey. Game on.

Bitch, please.

[Crying] Get out of my face!

She was obnoxious, but that was really sad.

Rachel. Rachel!

Rachel: Listen.

What the hell was that?

I-I have no idea. Beth Ann just, like...

I'm so sick of this crap!

Listen. I thought, as a woman, that you came off great.

You seemed, like, so sensitive to her situation.

Look, I just kicked a crying, pregnant lady out of my house... my house.

All right, I'm so over you. I'm so over this sh*t!

Wait. D... "D." Darius! Darius!

Who banged the Ra...

Hey! Rach!

Who banged the r*cist?!


[Sighs]

Hi, Quinn.

How you doing?

Um, curious as to why you are in my office talking to me right now, but other than that, great.

I just had to ask, uh, why did you send that gorgeous, charming, sober man away?

Who, Booth? I had work to do.

No, you didn't.

Actually, yes. We had an emergency.

There's no such thing as an entertainment emergency.

This wasn't about the show.

What, then? Rachel?

Have you asked yourself why you care so much about that girl?

[Scoffs] Okay. Here we go.

This will be rich.

I'm gonna tell you the one thing no one else is brave enough to say to your face.

You're lonely.

[Laughs]

Lonely?

I am surrounded all day.

I spend half my time screaming at people to leave me alone.

I'm talking about intimacy, Quinn... "In-to-me-see."

Are you having a stroke?

This show... It consumes you!

It's all you have, but it doesn't have to be.

You don't have to die alone like your dad.

[Sighs] Got it.

And I'm supposed to be taking advice from you?

Underpaid, forever single, pathetic reality-show therapist?

Who actually cares about you.

Don't sabotage it with this guy, Quinn.

He may be your last chance.

[Door opens, shuts]

[Scoffs]

[Beeping]

[Door opens]

Hey. There you are.

Hey.

Look, are you sure about this whole thing... the not calling the cops?

Yeah, I am. I really think it's right...

It's the right thing to do.

I got to ask you...

Why didn't you tell me about this whole thing?

Right when it happened, why didn't you just tell me?

Do you not trust me? And if you don't trust me, then... why?

Quinn says that you're my Chet.

I don't even know what that means.

I do know I don't have a lot in common with Chet.

I know I'm not gonna leave you here to fester for 10...

How long's Quinn been doing this?

10 years.

10 years? Yeah, no.

I see who you are, Rachel, and who you can be.

I am taking you out of here at the end of the season whether Quinn likes it or not.

Hey.

Hmm?

Hey.

Yeah?

Do you want this?

Yeah, I do.

I don't want anything to come between us.

♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ Ohh ♪
♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ Oh, it's coming ♪
♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ Ohh ♪
♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ I can feel it coming ♪
♪ The end is coming ♪

[Sighs]

♪ The end is coming ♪
♪ The end ♪
♪ Better start runnin' ♪

[Keypad beeping]

♪ The end ♪
♪ I hear the drummin', drummin', drummin' ♪

[Ringing]

Wow. Stop stalking me already.

[Chuckles] I'm relentless, aren't I?

So, you were rethinking the Post Ranch?

Possibly, but I have a big day tomorrow, something that I kind of set into motion.

So, how about we discuss it over dinner tonight?

I'm on my way.

Great.

[Beep]

[Sighs deeply]

♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪

[Moaning]

♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪

[Breathing heavily]

♪ The end ♪
♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪

Thanks, mate.

Man: You're welcome.

♪ Is coming ♪
♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪

Here we go again.

♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ I feel it comiiing ♪
♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪
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