02x10 - Friendly Fire

I just wanted to... Making the final two.

Darius, if you really can't play anymore, then you have to marry Tiffany.

Well, you got Romeo shot.

If you even...

You put our suitor in the hospital.

The truth incriminates Rachel.

She's the one who called the cops.

I'm a reporter. That woman Mary, who jumped off the roof last year, that was a murder.

Who's your source?

Jeremy.

This piece will be unstoppable.

I need you to walk us through it.

We lied, we covered it up.

Police should've known when Darius...

'Cause we killed her.

Take the medicine, sweetheart.

I found a place. We'll work things out with a therapist who isn't your mother, then we are going to burn this place down.

I saw Coleman sneaking out of Yael's room this morning.

Hot version of you is stealing your little boyfriend.

You need something that you can build an episode on.

Who's your target?

Yael.

Go away! Oh, my God!

Why would you...?

Quinn, what is it?

You want kids, and I can't have them.

I won't be anybody's disappointment.

I have work to do.

Quinn?

Are you really going to let me walk away?

Yes.

Coleman knows about Mary. He's about to expose us.

I am so sorry, Quinn.

We really have to stop them.

♪ ♪

Hey, babe, what's up?

Hey.

Um...

Hands off the keyboard, please.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What's going on?

My guys have been instructed to confiscate every piece of electronic equipment in this office and to ferret out any backups or cloud-based versions you might have already uploaded.

Rachel, why are you doing this?

Uh, I don't know. Maybe because I don't want to get carted off to some beautiful institution while you take down "Everlasting."

I know. I know that that's what you think is best for me, but I actually know what's best for me.

Which is this.

This is crazy, Rachel.

See, that's where you're wrong again, Coleman.

Um, I'm not crazy.

In fact, I'm smart enough to call your ex-girlfriend, who told me that she didn't break up with you because you moved to Hollywood.

No, she actually broke up with you when she found that you paid off some downtrodden Asian extras to impersonate the Cambodian s*x slaves in your award-winning documentary.

Shocking.

So it turns out that you're just as full of sh1t as we are.

Now what's going to happen is this...

You are going to keep your mouth shut about us, we will keep our mouths shut about you, and everyone will live happily ever after.

I win.

Again.

Move it.

♪ ♪

Tonight on "Everlasting,"

Darius will make his final choice live on the air.

Okay, now step back, Graham. This isn't a fricking three-way.

Keep B cam on Tiffany. I want plenty of snarky eye rolls and that "I just smelled a fart" thing she does with her face.

That. Yes. Perfect. That's perfect.

You're back.

Indeed. What do you got, Jay?

Got flowers, we've got dresses, I've got blinding diamond rings.

Actually, I don't have a horse-drawn carriage because, apparently, the Clydesdales dinged the driveway last season, but...

Locations was mad.

Okay, whatever.

Everything else is a romance explosion.

Mmm, that's great.

But people want a shit-show, literally.

If last week's ratings were any indication, none of this love-dovey boondoggle.

Whatever happened to selling true love?

Yeah, that's over.

I want to see a bitch bleed. Thank you. Let's go.

Let's see what we have today, shall we, Rachel?

As you can see, I don't just envision our lives to just be the two of us.

Vision boards, wow.

I did that when I was in the third grade.

We can be a beacon of light for all those around us.

"A beacon of light"? Who talks like that?

Just light the flame.

Thank you, Chantal. That was beautiful.

And, uh, last but not least, Tiffany, you're up.

[Sighs]

Darius, I mean, sure we could hang out at my family's ranch and ride horses.

Oh, you can hang out at your ranch. You're so rich.

...is filled with a bit more adventure than that.

Oh, my God.

Hey, uh, C camera, could you do a close-up on Tiffany's ankle, please.

Passion, excitement, desire.

Unbelievable.

Graham: Exciting.

Thank you, Tiffany. That, uh...

I'll have to... Sounds exciting. What are you even talking about?

So, uh, what?

America...

You're screwing her now?

[Indistinct talking]

How did you know that?

The anklet.

It's your move. Your only move, Chet.

You give one to every person you become infatuated with.

Hell, you even gave one to me when I was still a PA.

You remembered.

Is Quinn a little jealous?

Mm.

[Laughs] You wish.

Mm.

It's a taste issue, Chet.

It was tacky then, and it's tacky now.

[Scoffs]

So I'm supposed to get engaged tonight to one of these girls?

No, not one of these girls. To Tiffany.

Remember, we talked about this.

It's true, D.

She's got the dad, the connections.

That's the only reason I'm back here, to make sure this really happens.

You need to get your head in the game, my brother.

Exactly. And pretty soon, we're going to have to come clean about this injury.

So unless you plan on moving out to the boonies to like, run a used car dealership for the rest of your life, we need a decision.

Which I thought we'd already made, but regardless, we have to prep for a winner.

I like how you guys got all the answers.

What now?

[Door closes]

It's Tiffany.

Oh! Congratulations!

Mazel Tov.

Uh, yeah.

You know, I think, uh, Tiffany is going to be perfect, actually.

Why would... Wh-what did you say it like that for?

What's...?

You know, why don't you just get back out there, okay?

Because my diamond guy's setting up.

Just make sure that Tiffany picks the emerald cut, 'cause like it or not, that's what she's getting.

And you, why don't you go do something?

How about you, Wags?

What?

You're just going to sit there?

Oh, no. Uh, no, you know I never listen.

Yeah. Why don't you just make yourself busy?

I will. [Clears throat]

Now let the real work begin. You ready to do this?

Born ready. What do you got?

Well, I need you to produce Yael to get her ass back on camera.

No.

I need her for the finale.

That girl hates me.

I made her sh1t her pants on national television.

[Laughs] I know. It was fantastic.

But she's part of a much larger plan, okay?

Trust me. It's going to be epic.

♪ ♪

They're only letting you keep the car 'cause nobody else wanted it.

I can't believe you could even show your face to me.

You have balls.

Oh, my God, you're such a dick, dude.

Hot Rachel? I mean, seriously?

You just couldn't control yourself.

Oh, you had just revealed some fairly alarming details about your mother, about Mary, about who you really are.

I'd say the instinct to run away from all that's pretty human.

Oh. So I'm just too damaged to bring to your Puritan, stick-in-the-ass family wedding in Chilmark?

That's just not what my family is about.

And your family knows, right?

That your whole career is based on lies?

Do they?

I'm not going to let you touch this place.

Because this "Everlasting" is all you have left now.

That's sad.

And Quinn and all the other vagabond...

Mm-hmm.

...orphan misfits that work here, they are the only people who will ever accept you for the broken, damaged, vile person that you are.

All right, guys, you can take him away now, thank you.

I promise you this is not over.

Let's go.

♪ ♪

"Ring shopping"... two words which inspire butterflies in the bellies of women all over the world.

[Sighs]

Now, if Darius decides to take that next step with either one of you tonight on live TV, then one of these beautiful baubles could be yours.

Tiffany: Oh, my God!

Chantal: Oh, my God!

Hmm. Distract them with sparkles.

These are gorgeous! Oh, my gosh.

Look at this one! That is amazing.

Hey. You wanted me?

Yes. Uh, go get Tiffany for me.

Yeah, but they're doing the diamond...

Right now.

Yep. Okay.

[Knock on door]

Hi.

What?

All right, look, I know I'm probably the last person you want to see right now.

You poisoned me.

You humiliated me on national television, and you and Quinn just, what, laughed about it?

No. And I'm sorry, okay?

It was all my idea, and I know that it was wrong.

Uh, Quinn just wants to speak to you right over there.

Oh. Is... Okay.

Thank you. Yeah.

Hi. Hey, Quinn.

Hi. Uh, okay, here's the deal.

Technically, I'm not supposed to be telling you this, but... it's you.

Darius is picking you.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God! Oh, my God.

Ahh! That's amazing.

It is, isn't it?

And yet, there's more.

Um, not only is Darius going to propose to you, but he wants to marry you tonight on live television.

Oh, my God. That's unbelievable.

It is unbelievable, isn't it?

So you're going to need to get your family here right away.

Okay, yeah, yeah. Absolutely. I'll call my dad right now.

He's going to be so stoked.

Oh, I bet. [Laughs]

Thank you. I cannot say that enough.

Oh, you can, actually.

And there's... There's one more thing.

I'm going to need you to dump Chet.

What are you... talking about? I'm not...

Uh, Tiffany?

That really can't be happening if you're going to marry Darius now, can it?

Nope. You're absolutely right.

Consider it done.

Oh, I do.

Hey, can we just be honest for one second?

Probably just a lot of, like, internalized misogyny, you know, like I hate you but I really hate myself.

I mean, I'm a feminist, and this is what I do.

No, do not try to Sarah Lawrence me.

I'm not an idiot. You're dangerous.

And from what Coleman tells me, you're actually crazy, which makes you even more dangerous.

Okay, so, um, can I at least try to make it up to you?

'Cause I could help you change the narrative if you wanted.

Quinn needs somebody to go on camera tonight to confront Tiffany about some hidden secret.

You could be the truth teller.

So you want me to go on television and shame another girl just to get the focus off of myself?

This is what's wrong with America, women constantly hurting other women.

Got it, Hillary, no problem.

I was just trying to tell you that all of that cameras would be focused on you, every eye in America.

You would be the star.

Isn't that really why you came here in the first place?

Just saying there's a lot more you can get out of this show, besides a husband.

[Door closes]

[Sighs]

Quinn, I don't understand.

You told both the girls that they're going to win.

Of course I did.

And that Darius wants to marry them.

Ugh. Listen to me.

Last season, when Anna was triumphantly walking up the staircase and wearing that poof of a dress, I realized I could never see a finale any other way.

And what is better than one bride?

Two brides?

See?

But does Darius even know?

Uh, listen, numbnuts.

You want a seat at the grownup table or not?

So badly.

Then pay attention, okay?

The suitor fake-proposing to one of these bimbos might've been interesting 14 seasons ago, but now we have an obligation to our viewers.

We have to escalate the tension, up the stakes, complicate the story.

Two brides.

Right.

Darius is backed into a corner, he has to pick Tiffany, leaving Chantal humiliated, and all in that beautiful Vera Wang dress, making it that much more depressing.

Wait, but... But Chantal's my girl.

Ugh. Trust me, you don't want Tiffany, either.

Why not?

Because once Tiffany is safely ensconced as Mrs. Darius Beck, we bring back the storm of poop [laughs] that is Yael, and she reveals that Tiffany has secretly been sleeping with the executive producer.

What? Quinn!

It is blood on the floor, an abattoir ratings bonanza.

You're incredible.

Yes. I am.

Chantal does have a dying grandma.

I could absolutely get her here.

Oh, see, now we're talking.

Good job, go, go, go.

Now we both lose, you little idiot.

Neither of our girls win.

Actually, Darius will be marrying Tiffany, so that is a win.

Oh, just relax. I'll give you the bonus.

You two can split it.

[Scoffs]

So that's it, huh? This is just what we do at the end of every season now, just humiliate the suitor?

Now, that is a show that I would watch.

Can't you see how unfair this is to Darius, Quinn?

After everything we put him through, he deserves an ending.

This is an ending... just not a happy one, but it's about as real as it gets.

[Door opens]

Ooh.

Oh, my God, Chet?

Chet, what are you doing here?

That's not sexy at all.

What are you doing?

Oh.

I just wanted to drop by and tell you that, you know, I get it.

You get it?

Wow. Okay. [Laughs]

Okay, well, that... that makes things really easy.

Did Quinn talk to you?

No, she didn't have to.

I know you got to play the game.

Hell, I created the game.

[Chuckles] All right, well, uh, thanks for being so understanding.

Do all the talk shows and get the covers of all the magazines, couple of beaucoup endorsements, make a lot of money, and then you break off the engagement.

Happens every year.

Um...

Uh, Chet, you know what?

Uh, I have to tell you something.

Um...

You know, Darius doesn't just want to get engaged tonight, he wants to get married.

And I'm going to say yes.

Even better. Yeah, you'll get an annulment.

This thing, we can draw it out forever.

I mean, that's... that's brilliant.

No.

No, Chet, I'm going to marry Darius tonight for real.

Believe it or not, I love him.

I re... I really am sorry, but, I mean, when you really think about it, it's...

It's not like we ever really started anything.

It was ridiculous.

It was really comforting.

Comforting?

Yeah.

But we have to end it.

I'm sorry, I... I... I have to finish getting ready, okay?

Yael's in.

[Laughs] See? You really can do anything.

Oh, my God, it was so easy. It was textbook narcissist.

You know, I don't really understand what he sees in her.

Ugh. What are you talking about?

He sees me, only younger, hotter, less damaged.

Exactly. Not you.

Guy's an idiot.

Now I'm the idiot.

I blew it.

Just like my mom said I would.

What do you mean, like your mom said?

Come on.

Coleman hacked your phone and tried to put me in jail, so how did you mess that up?

I just told him all this... this stuff.

You know, like stuff that...

That happened to me when I was a kid.

I...

Okay, life lesson right there.

Yeah.

Screw Coleman.

And screw your mom.

'Cause believe it or not, all that crap that happened to you made you exactly who you are.

And you're perfect.

♪ ♪

[Engine shuts off]

[Car door shuts]

♪ ♪

Hey, man, this seat taken?

Come on, man. Let me buy you a drink.

No.

Bartender: How's it going?

Uh, back him up.

For you?

No, I'm good, thanks.

You want a drink, man, there's a douche bag bar down the street.

That's funny.

No, seriously.

You ran me out of a job. What more do you want?

I did you a favor. "Everlasting" is a hell-hole, Rachel's a wrecking ball who leaves nothing but devastation in her wake.

[Laughs]

She dumped you.

That was... That was fast.

Not exactly.

I have a plan. I'm gonna shut that show down.

You want to help me?

What do you have in mind?

We're getting closer to Darius' final choice, tonight, live.

Obviously, he has a very big decision to make, and we have some big surprises in store.

Oh, you have no idea what kind of surprises, Graham.

You're going to be excited. You might even get a hard-on.

But first, let's take a look back at Tiffany and Chantal's journeys, two journeys which each began with one simple step.

Oh, this is going to be so exciting.

Cue the packages.

Tiffany: When are you going to get out the box and start using your damn legs?

Ugh. The fact that I have to watch this stuff again nauseates me.

So we got Chantal's grandma.

She's in a car, she's on her way.

Great.

She has no idea what's coming, does she?

Do you ever feel bad about what we do to these girls?

Darius: Oh, my God!

Darius, I'm so sorry!

No.

No, we don't. Okay.

Hey, hey, eyes up here.

She's a moron.

That's a cut.

Graham: That sucked. I... I...

No, it was good.

No, I'm not in the moment here, just hold on.

No, it was great. We're going to move on.

I need another take, I'm not feeling it.

We're not doing another take.

I saw images of, like, other sh1t.

Darius?

Hey, how you doing?

Good, no thanks to you.

Okay, uh, well, today is the last day, so I just wanted to come over and say that, um...

I was sorry, you know, about the cops and Romeo.

Should've never listened to you.

When I pulled up in that limo, day one, I should've seen that do-gooder, white girl, crazy-eyed look and run right then.

I would've really loved to have run with you.

Now I'm supposed to feel sorry for you?

No, no, no, no. I just wish that...

You know what I wish? That I could still be playing football.

Yeah, that I was actually proposing to a woman that I love, that I could have played the game and won.

But I get it.

Yeah, I get it, I get it. Nothing's real.

It's all a facade.

So I'll play that.

[Door opens]

[Door closes]

Romeo, hi.

Don't.

You got me shot, so we don't talk again.

Ever. That's how this works.

You ready, D?

♪ ♪

[Door opens]

Coleman: How you doing?

Long day, huh?

Hey.

Hey.

How did you get in here?

PA doesn't know I was fired.

What's going on?

So Rachel's out, and they confiscated the footage.

What?! Coleman, how did you let that happen?

Hold on, it's not over yet, and that's why we're here.

Yeah, uh, Coleman thought that, uh, maybe I could use some media training, you and I get our stories straight.

When they let you out of here, I'm taking you and Jeremy, and my buddy at CNN, we're going to blow the lid off this thing tonight.

This story coming from you two, I think, is going to be big.

Us two?

I can't go public.

That's a... that's a whole nother story. Look, we got a couple hours.

I want to prep both of you right now, make sure we have our...

Wait a minute. We might not need CNN.

They've asked me to appear live tonight.

Wait, how... How'd you finagle this?

I didn't finagle anything. Rachel just asked me.

She practically begged me. They're trying to screw over the bride-to-be.

It's so stupid.

Come on, she just got out of a psych ward.

She's a little crazy.

Rachel was in a mental hospital?

You don't... Oh, yeah.

Okay, so, so, Romeo got shot, she lost her mind, she called her mom, her mom put her in the hospital and on these drugs. She was out of her mind.

So when I finally got her out of here, she thought that was a good time to tell me about some crazy childhood rape.

At the hands of one of her mother's patients.

I mean, with a mother like that, what do you expect?

Hey, you dodged a bullet on that one, am I right?

Uh, yeah. Um...

Yeah, I didn't know about that.

Rachel: Hey, I've been trying to get you on the walkie.

I turned it off.

What's going on?

I'm just over it. What are you talking about?

You know I actually let myself believe we were doing something good here this season?

With a black suitor?

Now we're straight-up screwing Darius over and for what?

Half a bonus I have to split with Madison and Darius gets nothing.

Not Tiffany, not Chantal, he can't even play football anymore.

Just another Caucasian savior making history, and you're just willing to blow it up just like that.

So what if there was another way?

This is so exciting.

We're all going to be on live TV?

Yeah.

And my Chantal is getting married.

Aw! Look at that.

Her grandma made it, tubes and all.

Who is that old guy in the front row?

That is Tiffany's dad.

If you had more Grey hair, it'd be like looking in the mirror, huh?

[Laughter]

Go ahead, laugh all you want. Laugh all you want.

You produced Tiffany to marry Darius.

That means you're a little jealous.

You know, not everything is about you, Chet.

And yet...

And yet, not jealous, okay?

Not when I have all of this, which is about to explode.

Man: [Speaks indistinctly]

Pooh! [Laughs]

Rachel? Rachel?

What... What are you doing here? You're not supposed to be here.

I know. I know. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry about everything.

You're sorry for what, beating me up? You know you're not supposed to be here.

Look, I know, I know. This is important.

Just hear me out.

What are you talking about?

I'm sorry. Coleman told me.

Him and Yael, they...

Yeah, I know all about them.

No, no, you don't. She's... She's a reporter.

And she's about to go on live TV and tell the whole world that we killed Mary.

I wish to wear my Welsh wristwatch.

She sells seashells down by the seashore.

A big black bug bit a big black bear in the a big black butt, and the big black butt bled black blood.

Okay, so, you know, you do look absolutely amazing.

Thank you, Madison. You look cute.

Thanks.

So you know what to say, right?

Oh, yeah, I know exactly what I'm going to say.

So you just wait till they say the vows and the I do's, and that's our cue.

Yep. All good.

Oh, my God.

I got to do something.

Um, there she is.

All right, Jeremy, you got to go.

No. No. Let me stay.

Okay, just meet me in the camera truck in five minutes.

All right.

Quinn: Okay, people, showtime.

Here's my count. Ready? In 3, 2, 1.

Welcome back to "Everlasting," where love always finds a way.

We've come to the end of our journey of love...

Romeo: These people have no idea what goes on here, like what they did to you.

Let's just get what we came for.

You good?

I'm good.

I don't have a choice, right?

Not really.

[Whispers] Madison.

Hey, uh, Quinn wants you to check in on Chantal's grandmother.

Oh, my God, is she suffocating?

Oh, my God, she's having a really hard time breathing.

No, no, no, no, no.

Tonight is a very special evening here on "Everlasting," not only for our contestants, but also for me personally.

God, this is not about you.

You are an insignificant turd, so come on, let's get on with the show.

Ladies and gentlemen...

What are you up to, twinsie?

Hey. Uh, I don't know where I'm supposed to sit.

Oh.

You're a rat.

Excuse me?

You're a sweaty, tabloid hack.

Jeremy sold me out.

Oh, no, he didn't sell. He knows exactly what you're worth... He gave you away.

Hi, can we get security here, please?

Fine. You can stop me from being on the show, but you can't stop me from telling the world what you people do.

Hi, yeah, can we get her in a room, please?

Let's lock the door and make sure no one comes in. Thank you.

You can't shut me up, Rachel.

His decision cannot be any harder, ladies and gentlemen.

Of course, we have debutante Chantal or pro-football royalty Tiffany.

Who will Darius choose?

I say we find out, shall we?

Because here he is... Darius Beck.

[Applause]

Ah, here we go.

Where the hell have you been?

Just a couple last-minute issues.

Everything's fine.

Yeah, well, it better be.

Where's Rachel?

I don't know.

But we have to go exclusive with whoever can get here first.

Uh-huh.

Great. Love it. I'll see you soon.

In an "Everlasting" surprise, this evening, we will not be having a proposal... but instead, with Darius' special request, we're going to be having a wedding.

[Cheers and applause]

Wait, what?

Surprise! Look at his face.

Graham: Remember, you're on live television.

Okay, come on, here we go.

Cue the music, cue the dry ice.

Let's go, let's go, let's go.

♪ ♪

Oh! Two brides!

What?!

♪ ♪

No.

What are you doing here?

What are you doing here?

Chantal!

[Laughing]

This is my wedding day.

What do you think this is?

Yes! Yes!

Bride-on-bride cat fight!

Whoo-hoo! This is fantastic.

I was specifically told. You heard something wrong.

What? They specifically told me.

Oh, hold on.

Hey, uh, we have to cut to commercial.

Go to commercial right now.

Okay, that's a cut for commercial.

Dan! What the heck!

Great job. Hi.

[All shouting]

What is this?

I didn't know, either. I thought there was only going to be one of you.

Great idea with the curtain! Genius!

Okay. Come on. Let's get this down.

Oh, this is fantastic, you guys.

Oop. Wait, what is that?

Who sidelined my girl?

Where's Rachel?

Coleman? Hi.

And then...

Hi. You should just give it a rest, okay?

Yael's on lockdown.

Well, that is until our reporter from Entertainment Weekly gets here.

What does that mean?

Uh, it seems that they got wind of how she lied her way onto the show.

Yeah, yeah, and they're going to do an article discrediting her, so from here on end, nobody's going to believe a word that comes out of her mouth.

Is that what you think?

No, I don't think. I know.

Okay, you guys look good. Ready?

[All shouting]

Okay, we're live in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Action.

Darius.

Darius.

Oh, he's perfect.

Well, the man's an athlete. He's a quarterback.

What does that have to do with him being able to smile?

Darius, um, you obviously have a very big decision to make.

What are you going to do?

Okay. Go ahead. Discredit Yael.

I'll just come forward myself.

Oh, really?

I'll admit I faked the documentary.

And why would you do that?

That's mea culpa.

And then who better to expose the seedy underbelly of what you do here than someone who knows exactly how it's done?

Yeah, except that you would never do it, because it's too big of a risk.

Watch me.

I'll burn your empire to the ground.

And you and your fellow sociopaths will go to jail where you belong.

What was your plan? What were you going to do?

'Cause you can't keep Yael past wrap. What then?

'Cause we're actually going to go to the press and tell them just how far you'll go to make really bad television.

And there's not one damn thing you can do about that.

I win.

[Chuckles]

Go to your little finale and enjoy it.

It'll be your last one.

[Door closes]

We need an answer, Darius, now on live television.

Uh...

Quinn: What the hell is he doing?

Uh...

He looks like a sheep.

It's called a panic attack, Quinn.

Oh, please, okay.

Come on, just pick Tiffany.

I think I need a moment to, uh, consult with my best man.

Of course.

What's the hold-up? [Sighs]

Ladies and gentlemen...

This is some B.S. I'm out of here.

D, no.

No, no, no, no.

They want me to get married?

Man, this is not what I signed up for.

Look, we're almost there.

So what I'm going to need for you to do is make a choice.

I need you to do it now.

...millions of you at home are watching, praying...

No, no, no no way, this is TV, okay?

Marriage is for real, okay?

I'm not doing it.

Look, you can annul later.

Just do it.

We do not want this to end in a PR disaster.

Look, these girls brought their families, okay, so it's real for them, too.

I can't, not if I don't mean it.

Then mean it. Here we go.

With that being said, Darius, have you made your decision?

Which one of our beautiful ladies are you going to marry?

Darius: We've been on quite a journey together, haven't we?

Rach.

I can't. But, wait, did you...?

Ever since the day we started...

Hey, I need you for a second.

What?

Come here.

No, I... Jay, take over.

What the?

Look, I tried to stop them, but Yael and Coleman are going to the press tonight as soon as the finale's over.

They're going to take down the show, Quinn. We're all going to jail.

And there's nothing that I could do.

Rachel!

We are in the middle of a live finale, which I am producing, okay, so just go and handle it.

How?

I don't care, all right.

We said we were going to take him down, so take him down.

Your dragon. Go.

Graham: Two beautiful women...

Uh, hey, Madison?

I need you to go and get yourself, uh, pretty, okay?

Get camera-ready, because you are going to drop the hammer on Tiffany, so go.

Go, go, go, go, go.

♪ Jealousy ♪

Oh, please, get over it!

It's obvious, I know what I have to do, because when I get married, it's going to be forever, it's going to be real.

Oh...

I care so much for each one of you...

He's doing it again, you know, every time with Graham.

Um, I don't think...

Can I help you?

Dan?

I'm gonna get out of here. Hey, Madison, have a seat.

I know I have decision that I have to make, and I'm going to make the decision right here, right now.

Finally.

So in good conscious, I just can't marry either one of you.

Ruby?

What the hell is she doing here?

♪ ♪

[Gasps]

What is happening?

What are you doing here?

Are you okay?

Do you know how long it's been since someone asked me that?

Jay told me you were in trouble.

You might have something that you want to say to me?

You have no idea.

First I want to say to you, in front of God, in front of everybody, um, I never should've cut you.

It was a huge, huge mistake.

Good for him. Look at that.

Something real is actually happening on "Everlasting."

Hey, Quinn, do you still want me to...

You've always told the truth, Ruby.

That's what I've always loved about you.

So now it's my turn.

Oh, my God.

Oh, hell, no.

Ruby Carter, will you marry me?

[Cheers and applause]

Um...

[Chuckles]

Say yes.

No.

A wedding? Come on.

Yes.

Why not?

We've known each other for nine weeks.

Okay.

Well, that's crazy.

Come back up here.

What I feel for you, Darius, that's real.

I love you.

And you know that.

So let's get away from all these cameras and see what's there, see what we can have together for real, just you and me.

Okay?

Come here.

[Laughs]

[Cheers and applause]

♪ ♪

Now, that is true love.

True love...

Who gets that?

Ladies and gentlemen, that's love.

[Cheers and applause]

♪ ♪

All right, guys, let's... Let's head outside, okay?

Quinn, are you okay?

[Scoffs]

Not a chance, man. Show's over, and we're out.

Hold on. Let me check it out.

[Sighs]

Thank you.

All right, let's roll.

Yeah.

♪ ♪

Hey, hey, Rach.

Hey, so, um, I think you should just really leave.

I mean, it's over. Yael and Coleman, they're going to, like, go to the press tonight.

Okay, and there's like... I... I... I just don't even know what we could say to discredit them at this point.

They're basically like this bomb that knows every single thing that we've ever done.

[Sighs] Maybe it's, like, the right thing, you know, maybe it's for the best?

No.

Or maybe I should just, like, go to jail.

Rach.

I don't know.

I mean, I actually might, in fact, be crazy.

I mean, crazy people do horrible things, and I've done horrible things.

I mean, you know that better than anybody.

You know.

I didn't know.

Rach, I didn't know what happened to you before.

I mean, is that when your mom started treating you, 'cause of that?

God, how dumb? I just trusted her.

I didn't know. I was just so angry, and I... I love you so much and I'd do anything for you.

And I just thought...

Look, I mean, we're just over, Jeremy, okay?

You know that.

It's over.

No way that we're ever going to come back from that, and this whole thing is about to come out.

I know, I know, I know.

Okay?

It's... I mean...

Just please.

I mean, we could try...

No, we can't, dude! We are all going to jail!

Do you not get it?

Okay? There is nothing that anybody can do to stop it!

Oh, my God, this is all my fault.

[Engine starts]

♪ ♪

Tiffany: I mean, how could he do this?

Chantal: He promised.

It was supposed to be one of us, either you or me.

Yes, but not her.

And it's like they knew that he was tricking us.

Like using us.

Like using us.

Come here, beautiful.

All right, guys, get ready.

Good job.

You, too.

This is what you wanted for the season, Rach.

It's all me.

♪ ♪

Graham: There are so few times in your life when you know you made the right choice, when you've met that special person that changes the course of your life and when regret is a thing of the past.

Oh, "Just Married."

Let's leave it up there for now.

See how it feels.

[Laughs]

Congratulations.

They gonna be poor.

They're gonna be happy.

Happy is better.

This is one of those times.

[Cheers and applause]

Dan: Cut. That's a wrap.

[Bell rings]

Okay, everyone, let's get out of here before daylight.

Hey, Rach?

Hmm?

Good job.

♪ ♪
♪ Oh, my love, I think I'm drowning ♪
♪ Take me down into the sea ♪

I want you to know whatever happens, you're my family.

I love you.

We'll always have each other.

Yeah. We'll always have that.

♪ Won't you come rescue me? ♪

[Knock on door]

♪ Spend my mornings just searching ♪
♪ Wandering down these roads alone ♪

Ha-ha. Look at you.

As it turns out, you were the showrunner, after all.

Uh, Quinn?

No, you nailed it.

Black suitor, black wifey.

It's like a real life fairy tale.

History made.

Look, Quinn, I'm... I'm really sorry.

I tried, but...

So it's over?

Well... it was only a matter of time.

At least we went out with a bang, huh?

[Chuckles]

[Door opens]

[Door closes]

Guys, uh, Jeremy has something to tell you.

Um... you don't ever have to worry about them again.

I told you I'd do anything.

♪ Oooh ♪

Man: We have live breaking news at 11:00.

Emergency crews are on the scene of a single-car accident at Baywood Canyon Road.

There are no reports yet on the condition of the occupants.

We will be updating you with more details as they become available.

♪ Ooh ♪
♪ Ooh ♪
♪ Save me, my love ♪
♪ Say you'll come ♪