02x10 - Sexy Dancing-Bröllopet

(Keys clattering)

(Muffled music)

(Dance music) _

Hi. A gin and tonic.

How you doing?

Hi.

Good?

Yeah.

So, uh, me and my boy here, we're just having a guys' night out and I've got to tell you you just ruined it by being so hot.

(Laughing)

Seriously, you know what I'm going to do?

Is I'm going to put you on my to-do list.

Ooh.

Heh...

Have any of those lines ever worked for you?

Yeah!

Yeah?

Okay, not now, so.

You failed. Failed!

All right, all right, whoa...

(Music)

That was impressive.

Thank you.

Sorry about him, I...

Usually it takes him a few minutes to embarrass himself but you managed to do it in record time.

(Laughing)

I'm Bruce, by the way.

Hi, Emma.

Emma! Excited to meet you.

Where are you from?

Sweden.

Sweden, like the country?

Yeah. Like the country.

I love Sweden!

Okay. Have you been?

No, I mean, uh...

Yeah, I know where it is.

It's up in Europe, right?

Yeah.

Yeah, I heard a lot of really good things about it.

Okay.

I'm sorry. But here, cheers!

To Sweden!

Yeah.

Wow, you're tall!

Oh no, I'm actually standing on the railing here.

Oh. (Laughing)

Yeah...

Not that tall.

No, I mean...

Welcome down!

Average height, but...

I wouldn't say average, but...

In America...

Okay.

Yeah. We're shorter, I guess, than you guys.

Do you want to dance?

Um...

Please say yes?

I... yeah.

Okay!

Let's do this.

(Music)

Wow.

Woohoo!

(Music)

Wow, you can really move!

What?

I said you can really dance!

(Music)

You can't hear anything?

I can't hear you, the music is too loud!

Okay, then I'm going to have to tell you, you have the most beautiful face I've ever seen!

Bruce, Bruce, Bruce, Bruce...

Bruce. Bruce. Bruce. Bruce!

What are you doing? Are you serious right now?

We're getting married tomorrow, okay?

We have a ton of stuff to do. Come on.

Okay, I know, I'm so sorry.

I just...

(Music)

♪ We're not living in America ♪
♪ But we're not sorry ♪
♪ I knew there was something ♪
♪ That we never had ♪
♪ We don't worry ♪
♪ No, we're not living in America ♪
♪ But we're not sorry, no ♪
♪ We don't care about the world today ♪
♪ We're not sorry ♪
♪ For you ♪
♪ For my baby, baby, baby, baby ♪

Bruce: Honey, I'm home!

Hey.

I think I just won fiancé of the year.

I ordered the flowers, I booked the honeymoon hotel, picked up my suit, and I bought all the rice for people to throw at us.

Rice?

Yeah, you don't want rice?

What? No, it's just...

This wedding...

What about the wedding? It's...

Don't tell me you're having second thoughts, it's happening tomorrow!

No, dummy. I mean, of course I want to marry you.

I'm just thinking, you know, a church and a priest and some rice and...

It's so very traditional.

It's a wedding.

Yeah, but this is such a wedding-y wedding.

I mean, isn't it a little late for all of this?

We should have discussed this earlier.

Well, I'm thinking, you know...

Maybe we could spice it up a little.

Are you talking s*x wise?

Because I thought I was doing really good lately.

I'm talking about the wedding.

Check this out.

Like this?

(Recorded music, cheers)

(Snickering)

Fun!

Right?

Fun? Yes.

It's very... You're serious?

Yeah!

You want us all to dance down the aisle?

(Video stops)

It's fun, right?

Uh, yeah. It's...

Everyone is involved and it's something different.

It's not very traditional.

No, it's not at all traditional.

So, that's... You got that, yeah.

So?

Yeah. If you want to do it, that's fine.

You can have this.

Are you sure you want to do this?

I think it's a great idea!

Yeah.

I think it's a terrible idea.

What... why?

You want us all to dance down the aisle?

Have you ever seen your father dance?

Honey, if you're nervous about the wedding, there are other ways to cancel it that don't involve your father dancing.

I'm not nervous and I don't want to cancel it.

I just want it to be fun.

We want to dance down the aisle, right honey?

Yeah, uh, I would dance to the North Pole for you.

Oh, that's sweet.

The North Pole is not that far from here.

Anyway, you both know my thoughts on the matter.

Marriage ruins relationships.

Oh, here we go again.

There's a reason why the word "gift" in Swedish means both "marriage" and "poison". (Laughing)

Okay, you know, that's not even true.

My parents have been married for a long time, and they seem very happy.

I met your parents, Bruce.

Where are they, by the way?

I thought they were supposed to be here?

Emma didn't tell you?

No...

They called and said their flight was cancelled.

But the wedding is tomorrow!

(Door bell chiming)

I know. It's awful.

They said they were going to change flights or try to find new flights, but I don't even know if they're going to make it.

Maybe we should cancel it.

Ah, this is Bruce I was talking about.

He lives here too.

Woman: Ah...

Hey, Bruce! It's my place.

How's it going?

Hi, I'm Cecilia.

Hello, nice to meet you!

Gustaf, take this off.

Cecilia is my girlfriend.

What? Wow!

And your shoe...

Like, a girl who's my friend, (Grunting, straining) but more.

The other shoe.

But I get it, yeah.

Much more.

Heh, heh...

Like, we have s*x, like, lots of s*x...

Yeah, I got it the first time, you don't need to...

Um...

Cecilia: (Moaning)

Uh, you know what, it seems like you guys have a really nice connection there.

You know what, can you guys just come in?

Before you...

Yeah. (Laugh)

Nobody needs to see that.

Bruce: Ah, okay! Everyone, here's the big news.

This is Cecilia, Gustaf's girlfriend.

Uh, Gustaf, Gustaf.

Maybe you should wash your hands.

You should always wash your hands before a meal.

I'll come with you and see that you make it right.

Of course, how stupid of me.

(Chuckling)

(Whispering) She's the best!

(Distant muffled laughter)

What's...

A girlfriend? Do you think he's paying her?

(Chuckling)

(Moaning)

A girlfriend? How is that even possible?

Maybe it was love at first sight.

That doesn't exist, Emma.

And with Gustaf.

Not even I loved him at first sight.

It took years.

(Distant muffled moaning, grunting)

Nae...

(Louder moaning)

Maybe we should go to the church to rehearse?

(Mixed agreements)

(Music)

♪ All I want is your love ♪

(Music)

Woman: Whoo!

(Music)

♪ All I want is your love ♪

(Music)

(Mixed cheers)

Yeah!

♪ All I want is your love ♪

(Music)

Eh...

♪ All I want is your love ♪

(Music)

(Snickering)

(Music)

Well, someone has to say something.

About what?

About the fact that she danced down the aisle like a stripper.

Not even a good stripper, like a slutty stripper!

I have to admit it was quite shocking.

Did you know she danced like that?

Well, I mean, I knew she danced sexy but I thought it was just when it was the two of us dancing alone together.

I-I don't want to see that again.

As a father, I feel dirty.

Well, maybe we should just cancel the wedding?

No. Nice try, but no.

Okay, then I'll tell her.

No, no, no. I'll tell her, okay?

(Squealing) That was so much fun, right?

Yes! That was!

Honey, we need to talk about your bit, because you were really stiff, but, otherwise everyone else!

Terrific, right?

Bruce: Yeah, you know, we were...

I knew it!

This felt nothing like a traditional wedding.

Yes, yes. You're right about that.

Very untraditional.

(Music)

(Singsong) There she is!

Good morning! (Laughing)

Today is the day!

The future Mrs. Evans-Wiik. Or Wiik-Evans?

That sounds better, right?

Honey, we should talk a little bit about the dance.

What about the dance?

It's... nice, it's good so far, I think, um...

But the choreography I think maybe we should look a little bit at...

What's wrong with the choreography?

Nothing wrong with it, at all, it's just that... the end part, I thought maybe we could...

What is wrong with you?

I'm fine, I'm just feeling a little sick, but I'm fine. - Okay.

Probably just pre-wedding jitters.

No! God no.

I mean, I was...

I felt worse yesterday, so I went to the doctor and everything's fine.

You went to the doctor?

Yeah!

What did he say?

Honey, he ran some tests and everything is fine.

Okay?

Well we've got to get going.

I mean, this is a big day, (Chuckling)

Mmm!

And I don't want to see you in your dress.

So you're getting ready at your mother's, right?

Yeah, yeah. I am.

Great.

So, what's the latest on your parents?

I don't even want to talk about that, it's stressing me out.

They said that the flight might not make it in time and that they're going to meet us at the church...

We shouldn't let it ruin our day. (Chuckling)

No, because this is such a big day.

It's like what we always dreamed of.

It is?

God I can't wait.

Yeah, oh, me too.

(Music)

(Vomiting)

(Music)

We'll be starting in five minutes and I'm soon going to let the guests in.

Okay, this is happening.

DJ, you're ready?

Okay, this has gone on far too long.

I'm going to tell her. Yes.

Bruce: No, no...

I'll do it.

He can do it.

(Rapid tapping)

Emma...

Wait, what's going on?

Do you guys... not want to dance, or what?

No... No, no, no.

We, um, we just... thought that your part... maybe we should, we could take it down a notch.

What are you talking about?

Viveka: I can't take it any longer, I have to say it!

You dance too sexy. It's horrible!

(Laugh)

Phew! I feel much better.

That's... I mean, that's how... young people dance.

It's called modern dance.

And also, this church is not a traditional church so we can do whatever we want to.

And luckily we have a priest who's cool and progressive, and not a total prude, right?

Actually, um, if I'm being honest I think your dancing might be, uh... a little much.

I can't believe I'm hearing this right now.

Bruce: No, it's... um...

(Cellphone ringing)

Hey!

Wayne: Hey, son, it's your father.

Yeah, I know, where are you guys? The wedding is about to start.

I'm sorry son, but we couldn't get a flight.

What?

Yeah, I-I just don't think we're going to make it.

At all? I mean... the wedding's about to start! Where are you guys?

Both: Surprise!

(Frustrated groan)

Look at the look on his face!

That is not cool, you guys!

Told you he'd be happy to see us!

I know.

It was your father's idea. You know how funny he is.

Oh, our baby!

Plus now we get to dance down the aisles!

We heard all about it, Viveka told us!

Yeah.

So we've been practicing our moves.

Show him, honey! (Laughing)

Oh my God... No!

It's good, right?

The dancing is done, we don't need any more dancing.

But we do have seats for you guys in front.

Okay. - Okay.

And uh... no more dancing, okay?

You look good. Aww!

Yeah, thank you.

Those look like prom shoes.

Pants are a little snug, honey.

Don't forget to say "I do".

I'm going to cry, so don't be distracted by that.

Okay, what's wrong with the shoes?

Lots of crying.

(Music)

Bruce: Babe, come back inside!

How could you not tell me you felt this way?

It's not a big deal, okay? You just danced a little sexy.

This is not sexy, this is modern dance.

Okay. Is this just some sort of weird last minute attempt not to get married?

I do want to marry you.

I wanted to marry you since the first time I met you, when you pretended to know where Sweden was.

Okay, good because I want to marry you too! Really badly!

And, I mean, there's, like, a million reasons why we shouldn't be together and a million reasons why this wedding shouldn't be happening, but it is and this is because it's supposed to be, okay?

I want to be with you every day.

I want to walk down the street with you and have people be, like, "Hey, why is that super hot girl with this schmo?"

Aww, you're not a schmo. Wait, what's a schmo?

It's a schmuck.

Oh, what's a schmuck?

It doesn't matter, okay?

Okay, but this is not about the wedding.

This is about... the dance.

I don't know... I'm not sure I want to do it.

Okay, so we won't do it, then.

Okay.

Yeah, it's no problem. I'll just tell the DJ not to play the song.

Okay... Oh, no.

Oh God.

Ahh... Okay, listen, listen, honey, Your mom was wrong, okay?

Mm-hmm.

Marriages don't ruin relationships, they make them stronger, okay?

Okay.

So we're going to do this together.

We're going to dance sexy together.

Not sexy, modern.

Not sexy, modern, yes.

Modernly, we'll dance modernly together, and just...

I don't know, I'm just...

(Sigh) Trust me, okay?

Just follow my lead, okay?

Okay. Let's do it.

Let's do it.

Okay. (Deep breath)

♪ All I want is your love ♪

(Mixed chatter)

(Mixed cheers)

(Rhythmic clapping)

(Mixed shouts)

(Clapping fades)

(Music)

(Thuds)

Yeah!

(Wood creaking)

(Music)

He didn't get the moves from you, that's for sure.

(Music)

(Oohs and ahhs, whistling)

(Music)

Various: Aww!

(Music)

She looks kind of slutty.

Oh, I'm so bored.

I'm just saying, I don't think it's appropriate, that's all.

Honey, what happened to the modern dance?

You were right, it looked too sexy.

But thank you, though.

Actually, we're not at that part of the ceremony yet.

Oh, sorry.

Sorry.

(Clearing throat)

(Exhaling)

Do you, Bruce, promise to do your best to try and love Emma till death do you part I... or until some other unforeseen event occurs?

I do.

Oh, come on!

Priest: And, do you, Emma...

Can you believe this?

This is not going to last.

...promise to do your best to try and love Bruce without sacrificing your independence or individuality in any way?

(Chuckling)

Honey!

I said yes.

Did she say yes?

I now pronounce you husband and wife!

And now you can kiss each other.

(Funky music)

(Cheering, applause)

And ladies and gentlemen, I present to you Mr. and Mrs. Wiik-Evans!

Yay!

Actually it's Evans-Wiik.

Oh, keep going, keep going.

It's Evans-Wiik.

Evans-Wiik.

(Music)

(Music)

(Music)

(Music)

(Applause)

Bruce: (Humming)

Little champagne for the newlyweds!

We did it!

We did it, honey!

Yes!

(Cellphone ringing)

Can you answer my phone?

(Cellphone ringing)

This is Mrs. Evans' phone.

Wiik-Evans!

Wi... Wiik-Evans...

(Sighing)

Uh, she is here, but, uh, she's busy.

We are just married.

Newlyweds! (Chuckling)

Yes. (In Swedish)

Who was it?

I don't know, they insisted upon speaking Swedish.

I think it was from your doctor's office.

Are you good friends with them?

Because they were really happy about this wedding.

Okay?

They were like...

I'm pregnant?

What?

"Gravid" means pregnant.

(Swallowing)

For... um...

I don't... uh...

From...?

(Exhaling)