01x02 - Viral Video

Episode transcripts for the TV show "We Bare Bears". Aired: July 2015 to June 2020.*
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"We Bare Bears" follows three bear brothers in their awkward attempts at integrating with the human world in the San Francisco Bay Area.
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01x02 - Viral Video

Post by bunniefuu »

♪ Da, da, da-ba-da, da, da ba-da-ba-da-ba ♪
♪ Da, da, da-ba-da, da, da ♪

Let's go.

♪ We'll be there ♪
♪ a wink and a smile and a great, old time ♪
♪ yeah, we'll be there ♪
♪ wherever we are, there's fun to be found ♪
♪ we'll be there when you turn that corner ♪
♪ when you jump out the bush ♪
♪ with a big bear smile ♪
♪ we'll be there ♪


[Bird chirping]

[Camera shutter clicks]

Hey! You guys taking selfies over here?

[Laughs] Oh, we look so hot.

Are you guys gonna post it online?

Let's do it right now. Boop. [Chuckles]

Oh, my gosh. Would you look at your precious basket?

You guys must really like each other!

Have you been dating long? Do you hug a lot?

Mmm! Do you hug all the time?

We should hang out. Is that cinnamon? Mmm.

Yeah, come on by the cave for juice whenever!

We got pulp-free! Maybe.

[Sniffing]

[Sizzling]

Remember, no nuts in mine. I'm allergic.

Ice Bear charges extra.

Guys! I met some really nice people in the woods, and they're gonna come over and have juice with us later! [Laughs]

Anyone remember to buy pulp-free?

I don't know, Grizz.

People always say they'll come over, but they never do.

I think we need a bigger TV.

Ahem. Priyatnova apetita.

[Gasps, laughs]

Wow!

Arigatou.

It looks so good, you guys.

W-We got to document this!

Hey!

Okay, chow down, Pan-Pan.

C'mon, man, I just want to eat my breakfast.

[Grizzly laughs]

[Muffled] Come on, stop it, dude!

[Laughs] Golden! I got to post this online!

Nom, nom, nom, nom, nom! To the internet!

You'd better not. [Sighs]

Grizzly: It's uploading!

It's public!


Huh? Take it down!

Hang on, little brother. Just watch.

Millions of people are gonna wanna see this.

[Beeps]

All: Aw!

Why must people hate?

It wasn't that bad.

Ice Bear will hunt them down.

Quickly, click on something to make me feel better!

[Chomping]

I don't feel any better.

But look at how many views it has!

[Gasps] 50 million?!

Dude, that's like a-a hundred-million eyes!

[Gasps] Oh! Click on his website.

This is amazing!

Action figures and day-of-the-week underwear!

Do it! Click all of them!


So many followers, so many friends.

Being internet famous sounds amazing.

[Crowd chanting "Grizzly"]

Let's hang out sometime, Grizzly.

This juice is great!

I want to hang out with Grizzly, too!

Me too!

I, as well!

Thanks, everyone. You're all invited to the cave.

[Cheers and applause]

Grizzly! I'm the mayor.

What's up, mayor?

Not much, man.

Here's the key to the city.

Thanks.

Also, please accept this lifetime supply of salmon bagels!

[Laughs]

Guys, we can do this, too! We're gonna make viral videos so we can become internet-famous!

Think about it. Panda, you know those 50 million views had at least one girl in there.

Mm, internet ladies.

And think of all the internet glory you could bask in!

Ice Bear enjoys basking.

All right, paws in!

Wait, what is this. We've never done this.

Just ... Just go with it. Okay, on three.

1, 2, 3.

All: Internet famous!

Panda: Let me finish my breakfast first.

Grizzly: All right, wait. Why isn't anything showing up?

Oh, wait. It's not on.

[Laughs] Whoa. Yay.

Too close. Yeah. Looking good, bro!


Why do I have to wear toilet paper on my head?

Action!

Oh. Oh, w... Oh, where?

Project.

Oh ... Oh, where am I? I am a lost baby.

Look for mom.

M-Mom? Mom?

Good.

Mom, are you in there?

Here's your bottle. Now try to get up.

It's not my fault. I was born round.

Good night, baby.

[Screams]

All right, quick, take the camera.

Okay, am I in frame? Good.

Wow! Look at this cute, small box!

Would it not be cute if I were to sit in it?

Did you get that? Okay, switch!

[Whip! Whip! Whip!]

Perfect.

[Keyboard clacking]

Cutest video ever.

♪Righteous, ♪holla.

♪Pandasingle.

♪Icebearforpresident.

It's public.

All right. Step back. Let it breathe, guys.

I got to refresh!

Nothing. That's cool, that's cool.

I mean, it's only been a minute, right? Yeah, you guys can go.

I'm just gonna hang here and wait till we get more frien... I mean hits.

[Blowing]
[Snoring]

[Birds chirping]

Hey, Grizz. How did we do?

[Mumbling]

What's that, Grizz?

Comfort me.

No! Not even people tripping can heal my wounds.

Panda: Whoa. Isn't that the koala from that video?


Hold on! What?! A Me-Me Con?!

Panda: Mee-Mee?

Polar Bear: Meme.

A Meme Con! Internet celebs.

Meme tryouts. Judged by Nom-Nom himself?!


[Gasps]

We're going!

[Indistinct conversations]

[Meowing]

Wow! Look at all the internet celebrities here.

[Whistles]

Sign it, Porkins. Right here, Porkins. Right here.

[qoinks]

Porkins, sign here.

I didn't think so many people would be competing.

Ice Bear should have trained before coming.

No sweat, brothers. They got nothing on us.

Now let's get in there! Hyah!

Ow!

Excuse me. Oops.

Sorry. My bad. Coming through.


Let's see who we have next.

Here we have Liz from the dump! [Clears throat]

Show them what you got, Liz.

[Bird coos]

[Tap shoes clicking]

All right, thank you!

Let's hear what our judges have to say.

Gluten-cat?

[Meows]

Balancing lizard?

Nom-Nom? [Slurps]

Oh, that's so cute.

Well, that looks like a unanimous "no."

[Sobs] Years of training!


Hello. My name is Grizzly.

We're here to be internet-famous.

All right. Whenever you're ready.

Okay, guys. Just like we rehearsed.

But we didn't rehearse any... Whoa!

Oh, where am I?

You promised you'd never do this again!

I am a lost baby. How I wish there was a small box...
for me.

Uh-huh. Judges?

Oh, look at his little drools.

Sorry, boys, that's a resounding "no."


Wait, what?

Yes. Get out. Thank you.

Wait, wait. Hold on.

I have questions!

Wait, wait! [Grunts] I'm going back in there.

Grizz, wait, Grizz! Come on, man.

We know now for sure that we're not cut out for this, and that's okay. Can we please just go home now?

Ice Bear been sleeping for 15 minutes.

Don't you get it? This is it!

This is our chance to make more friends than we've ever had!

Come on, Grizz, we've had enough!

You're being kind of a ... a dingle.

Whoa! No need to roll out the "d" word.

Don't sweat it. I'm gonna sort this all out with Nom-Nom.

[Screams]

Oh, my gosh. That's him!

[Indistinct shouting]

Boy: Over here, over here!

[Crowd screams]

[Pop!]

There he goes. Now's our chance.

Grizz, stop! Come back!

Where are you going? Don't leave.

[Indistinct shouting]

I've got him. Get to the front.

Thanks, man.

[Tires squeal]

You all right, sir?

Yeah, I think someone bit me by mistake, but it doesn't really hurt. [Laughs] Gross.

Get out of here, you!

Bear's got moxie. What can I do for you, buddy?

Ah! Awesome! I knew you were a chill guy.

[Laughs nervously]

Sorry, it's just I've been a really big fan since, like, this morning, and there's just so much I want to ask you.

Eh, ask away.

Yes!

Okay, well, so my brothers and I made this video, and we did a bunch of stuff. There was a baby and dancing.

Wow!

Pretty cool, right?

They just give them to you when you're internet-famous.

Do you like chocolate?

Oh, yeah. Why?

What?!

Oh, man! Being internet-famous is crazy-cool!

So, anyway, we put it up on the internet and waited forever, but ...

Why don't you just pull it up for me?

Oh, yeah, sure.

[Chewing]

Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah! Here it is!

Panda: Oh, oh, where am I?

Really nice. I am a lost baby.

Grizzly: Look for mom.

Yeah.

Mom? Mom?

Ha!

Mom?


Well, interesting staging.

Grizzly: Good night, baby.

That's cool stuff, man.

Exactly! Oh, I'm so glad you're into it!

Dude, you're so cool.

You must have tons of friends, too, right? Right, buddy?

I've got the maximum amount of friends on all social-media sites.

So you guys must have brunch together all the time and stuff.

Wait, how do you fit that many people into a café?

You'd need at least 12 pitchers of juice.

[Laughing] No, no, no, no.

Are you kidding me? I'm famous, man.

I really don't have time for that sort of thing.

What?

Hanging out in person is a thing of the past, buddy.

Get with it. Also, friends are usually too loud or have schmutz all over their faces.

I have servants, really yummy food, the internet.

I think you can agree I don't need anything else.

And that being the case...

[Snaps fingers]

[Knuckles cr*ck]

[Tires screech]

[Screams]

[Camera shutter clicks]

[Laughing] Hilarious.

[Groans]

See you later, friend.

[Tires squeal]

[Doorknob rattling]

Grizzly: Why isn't this working?

Oh, it's open.


Oh! Uh, hey, guys.

So... sorry I took so long to get home.

I got juice! Pulp-free!

I thought maybe we could drink it together.

And, also, I just wanted to say, uh ...

It's okay, Grizz. No big.

Aww, I didn't know you cared so ... [Screams]

Don't ditch Ice Bear.

[Laughs] Fair enough.

Actually, we have a surprise for you, Grizz.

Really? Rad!

Oh, wait. I cant move.

Okay, open.

It's just our video.

Look closer!

[Gasps] Ooh!

Check the comments!

Ooh, a real comment!


Guys, this is great! We've got to celebrate!

All: Cheers!

[Laughter]
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