01x18 - Emergency

Episode transcripts for the TV show "We Bare Bears". Aired: July 2015 to June 2020.*
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"We Bare Bears" follows three bear brothers in their awkward attempts at integrating with the human world in the San Francisco Bay Area.
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01x18 - Emergency

Post by bunniefuu »

♪ Da, da, da-ba-da, da, da ba-da-ba-da-ba ♪
♪ Da, da, da-ba-da, da, da Let's go! ♪
♪ We'll be there ♪
♪ a wink and a smile and a great, old time ♪
♪ yeah, we'll be there ♪
♪ wherever we are, there's fun to be found ♪
♪ we'll be there when you turn that corner ♪
♪ when you jump out the bush ♪
♪ with a big bear hug and a smile ♪
♪ we'll be there ♪


[Humming]

[Classical music playing]

[Sighs]

[Slurps]

Oop, hey, sorry, don't mind me.

I'll only be in here for a second.

Could have sworn I still had some ice cream pops.

Not the french vanilla. I want the vanilla ...

Hey, you found it!

Do you have any green tea ones down there?

Guys, guys? Aha! There you are.

[Grunts] Panda, you're very bouncy.

Oh, thank you. [Grunts]

You guys are gonna be so excited.

[Grunts] I got us... a new pet.

[Groans] What?

Is it a cat?

Nope, guess again.

Ahem, ahem.

- Oh, a puppy?

No, it's a crab.


Oh, my gosh, where did you get him?

He was on sale at the supermarket.

Only $3.99 a pound.

[Chuckles] He's so cute!

He's a good, little crabbie.

Oh, look at his little face.

What do you think of the name Captain Craboo?

Wait, dude, don't you want to meet him?

The internet says you should pat its butt to be friends.

Here, let me help you.

Nothing to be afraid of. See? Gentle pats.

He needs to smell you so he can get used to your musk.

Oh, he likes you.

[Snap! Snap!]

[Grunts]

[both gasp]

[Groans]

You okay, dude?

Um, let me get that for y... Aah!

Oh, he's going. I got you!

Get him. He's going out the door.

Oh, missed him.

Your way, your way.

[Both grunt]

Ah, get a chair.

Ow, ow, ow, ow.

I'll go get some tape.

[Groans] Stay down. Stay, stay.

Uh, we only have plastic wrap.

Talk to me, dude.

[Speaking gibberish]

Forget this. I'll take off the crab myself.

[Snap!]

Ow!

Oh, you saucy craboo.

Dude, I think we need help.

Okay, give me your phone. I'll take care of it.

Hurry!

[Line ringing]

Woman: State your emergency.

Yes, we need help.

I got us a new pet, except the grocery store guy said it wasn't, but it was a really good deal, so I brought it to my cave anyway Sir... and then it latched onto my brother And he ran out of ...

Sir, I need you to calm down.

Sorry. Let me start over. [Sighs]

How do you get crab off a polar bear?

[Grunts] Hello?

Call ended?

[Line ringing]

What? She blocked me?

Can they even do that?

Grizz, come here.

The internet says that if we don't get this treated, it could be all swelly and infected.

There might even be pus involved.

Is that a photo?

No, why?!

Aw, geez, no!

We can't let this happen.

We got to take him to the hospital ourselves.

Yeah, yeah, we'll leave right now.

You ready, buddy?

[Shing!]

Together: No!


Okay, we're leaving!

Let's go, let's go!

Oh, man.

We'll fix it later.

Right, right, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Grunts]

I got it.

Okay, let's go. [Panting]

Full.

No.

[Whap!]

Okay, now where are we?

Which train goes to the hospital?

The red one?

Mm.

[Whirring]

[Soft music plays]

Ah.

Grizz: There it is ... okay, let's move.

[Panting] Okay, hurry. We got to transfer on the green line.

Huh? [Screams]

Panda, hold on. [Grunting]

Grizz, the train's leaving.

[Both grunting]

Oh!

No, wait, don't leave. No!

Crab and bear!

Ugh, now what?

[Chime]

Oh, we have to wait 40 minutes?

Who knows how long that'll be. Hey, what are you doing?

Panda: I think this can help us. It's a ride share app. All we have to do is request a ride and someone will pick us up at our current location.

Sweet. Someone's on their way!

Wow, that was easy.

Yeah, man, it's the future.

[Snap!]

To the stairs!

It says that he's driving a black four-door.

There it is.

Take us to the nearest hospital, sir.

There there, buddy. Everything is gonna be all right thanks to these two awesome brothers you have.

[Sighs]
Hey, man. Seat belt on, buddy.

Um, sir, do you think you could move a little faster?

Yeah, we're in sort of a rush.

[Chuckles] No problem. Here's some open lanes.

[Tires screech]

[bears yelling]

Hey, you guys like music? Yee-haw.

♪ Just some good ol' boys in a big ol' truck ♪
♪ down in Alabama, down on our luck ♪


How did this guy get his license?!

♪ well, I love my truck ♪

You're driving on the wrong side of the road!

No, I'm not. This is a carpool lane.

Stop the car, you crazy loon!

[Tires screech]

Go, go, go, go!

Uh, stop, stop.

[Stammering] Left, left.

Go, go, go, go, go, go.

Hey, bears, where ya going?

[Speaking gibberish]

How much farther?

The closest hospital is still 15 blocks away.

[Groans] We'll never make it.

Hm. Okay, wait here.

[Groans]

Huh? Ooh.

Huh?

All right, Panda, you got to navigate us.

Which way do we go?

Oh, um, uh, go right.

No, oh, no, wait, left.

Left? [Groans] Look out. Sorry.

[Grunting]

[Chomps]

[Snap!]

Hey!

[Snap! Snap! Snap! Snap!]

Okay, we're getting close. Um, turn left here!

[Snap!]

Not much farther now. You'll be good in ... huh?

Grizz, Grizz, stop ... We lost him!

Oh! [Screams]

Oh, sorry, bro.

Faster. We're gonna lose him.

[Brakes squeal]

[Panda screams]

Panda! I got you, man.

[Groans]

Hey, check it out ... plastic wrap.

Huh?

Brother! Thank goodness ...

[both yell]

Saucy craboo? What the ... where's our brother?

Where did he go?

Hello?

Brother?

Bro?

Little brother.

Where are you?

[Twangy music playing]

Hello.

[Sighs] Man, it doesn't make sense.

It's like he just took off or something.

Why would he leave us? We were helping.

Doesn't he want our help?

Hey, you ... you were the last one to see our brother.

Where did he go?

[Snap! Snap!]

[Screams]

Whoa. Maybe someone in there will know.

[Mystical music plays]

[Eastern European accent] Welcome.

I've been expecting you, Grizzly and Panda.

Huh? She knows our names.

So, how can I be of assistance?

Well, madame, our brother is lost, and this little guy was the last one to see him.

Ah, yes, you wish for me to read the crab's mind, eh?

This I can do.

Uh, okay.

Place the crustacean before us on crystal ball.

What are you gonna do?

Mm. [Blows]

[Coughs]

It smells like ramen powder.

Now, give me your hands.

Spirits, connect me to this crab.

Let me be one with this creature.

Ah, yes. I see many things.

I see something white. He's covered in fur.

Beady eyes ... doesn't say much.

That's him. Can you see where he is?

He's at a pier. He's scared and confused.

Looks like he's walking toward a boat.

What? A boat? W-Where's he going?

Back to the place where it all started ... back to his wife, Guadalupe.

[Gasps] Wait, who?

He's not a white-haired divorced man named Esteban?

Esteban? [Scoffs] No, lady.

He's a bear who enjoys his refrigerator and cooking fine cuisine.

Mm, I don't think so. That's not what I'm reading.

What? Well, I do think so lady.

He's our little brother. We know everything about him.

Then why did you lose him?

Maybe you guys are just bad brothers.

What?! You're out of line, lady.

And this whole thing seems pretty shady to me.

Maybe it's because she's not a real psychic.

What? How dare you?

That's not even a real crow!

And your crystal ball is really a snow globe.

Okay, what am I thinking?

No! That's a real crystal ball.

You can't tell me because you don't know.

You're a big faker.

I think you don't know the difference between crystal ball and a snow globe.


[Classical music playing]

Aha! I know where he is.

Come on, Pan, let's bounce.

We're coming for you, brother!

[Snap!]

Captain Craboo is coming with us.

We're about to close.

Thank you.

[Panting]

Look, there he is.

He looks so peaceful.

Let's go get him.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Hang on. Let him be. He's had a long day.

[Sighs]

Comfy?

Okay, if you need anything else, just give me a holler.

Oh, and look who came to say hi.

It's stylish craboo with a brand-new look.

Uh... I guess you guys could just bond another time.

Let me turn on your favorite telly show.

[Classical music plays]

There you go, bud.

Well, if you need anything else, please let us know.

Sorry, one last thing.

[Grunting]

Got it ... [Chuckles] pudding pop.

Okay, bye.

[Sighs]

Ice Bear is good.
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