01x19 - Tote Life

Episode transcripts for the TV show "We Bare Bears". Aired: July 2015 to June 2020.*
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"We Bare Bears" follows three bear brothers in their awkward attempts at integrating with the human world in the San Francisco Bay Area.
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01x19 - Tote Life

Post by bunniefuu »

♪ Da, da, da-ba-da, da, da ba-da-ba-da-ba ♪
♪ Da, da, da-ba-da, da, da Let's go! ♪
♪ We'll be there ♪
♪ a wink and a smile and a great, old time ♪
♪ yeah, we'll be there ♪
♪ wherever we are, there's fun to be found ♪
♪ we'll be there when you turn that corner ♪
♪ when you jump out the bush ♪
♪ with a big bear hug and a smile ♪
♪ we'll be there ♪

Grizz: No, no, almost.

Aha! There you are, you little sneak.


You eggs get the honor of becoming a frittata.

Uh, what's next on the list there, Panpan?

Hmm, gluten-free, nut-free, vegan chocolate chip cookies, or ... hmm...

What you got there, bro?

Ice Bear likes mint soap.

[Chuckles] Yeah, you do.

[music]

[Register beeping]

Did you bring your tote bag?

Uh, plastic's fine, thanks.

Uh, no, actually, it's not fine.

Uh, paper then?

Wait, you seriously forgot your reusable bag?

Uh, what reusable bag?

[Groans] Let me get this straight ... you don't have a tote bag?

Do you even care about the environment at all?

What about the animals?!

Whoa, sir.

We are animals. We care.

Tsk, tsk, tsk. Hey, Ron, these guys forgot their bags.

[Groans] I know, right?

Hey, man, we didn't even know about reusable bags.

Well, these guys all brought their bags.

Oh. [Chuckles]

And what is this?

Why would you buy vegan cookies and then get eggs.

Who does that?!

Oh, actually I'm a vegetarian, and I ...

Shh, shh, shh. No more of your lies.

But if you insist on having paper, I guess we can try and find you something.

[over PA] Yeah, can we get some dead trees brought up to aisle four for the tree haters who forgot their bags.

[yelling] Stooop!

[Receiver clicks]

Please, is there anyway we can just buy some bags?

Oh, yeah, of course. We have some right here.

We have a lot of colors and styles...

Yeah, we'll take three of them.

Excellent choice. These babies are limited wildlife edition.

Some of the money is given to help local beavers build their dams.

Yeah, yeah, just give us the bags.

Congratulations.

You're one of us now. Welcome to the Tote Life.

Tote Life?

Together: Tote Life.

[Applause]

Hey, bears, you forgot your groceries!

[Music]

[Chuckles] Ice cream stop.

Hi, what can I get for you today?

Hey, there. Uh, I'll have the... chocolate drumstick.

Coconut pop.

Ice Bear would like a surprise.

Here you go.

Thank you.

Thanks. So what do we owe you?

This one's on the house. Tote Life.

Oh, Tote Life.

Tote Life.

Tote Life!

Ow!

I'll get some napkins.

Ugh, what's your problem?

Oh, my gosh. I'm so, so sorry.

Oh, hey, we have the same tote, see?

Oh, yeah, we do.

Oh, but I'm still sorry about ...

Don't worry about it.

Tote Life, right.

Tote Life?

[Chuckles] Yeah. Bye, cutie.

Tote Life.

Just grab a few of these. Oh, geez, too many.

Get in there! Perfect. Oh, no.


Uh, Panpan, do you still need napkins?

Panda: I need nothing!

Okay. What am I gonna do with all these?

Uh, maybe there's a trash can.

Uh, I... mean I would never waste all these napkins.

I'm going to save them for later in my tote.

Yeah, man. Tote Life.

Tote Life.

[Engine idles, revs]

Respect. Keep real.

These totes are the best. Plus, they hold, like, 40 napkins.

I finally feel like I'm a part of something.

Ice Bear also feels acceptance.

This was our key to fitting in. We're living the life ... Tote Life.

Tote Life.

Tote Life.

And here's your small popcorn.

[Whispers] Open your tote.

[Music]

[Siren chirps]

[Slap! Slap! Slap!]

[Fabric rips]

It's okay, it's okay.

Look, look, look.


They have totes here.

Ah, which one do we get?

The beige one?

The blue one?

Cornflower blue.

We'll take all of them.

Yeah!

Gizz: Oh, nice.

We need more totes. I need more.

Wow, that's a cool one.

Need more totes.

Ice Bear wants them all.

Oh, look at that one.


[Beep]

Do you have your reusable bag?

Uh...

Hey, man, good to see you again.

Just the tomato please. We brought our totes.

Tote Life.

[Chuckles] Yeah.

Wow, you guys have a lot of totes.

Yeah, we do. You can never have too many totes.

Okay, do you really need that many?

Well, yeah, I mean, see, this one's for snacks, this one's for phone chargers, this one's for coffee sleeves.

Oh, and this one is for socks.

And this one is for rare cheeses. [Groans] Oh, sorry.

It's okay, the bag of organic wool socks broke my fall.

Hey, watch where you're going, man.

Ice Bear apologizes.

Just living the Tote Life, my friend.

You guys got it all wrong and twisted. This is not the Tote Life.

What, no, this is so the Tote Life.

We have ascended to a higher level of eco-coolness, okay, pal?

You're the one not living the Tote Life.

Both: Tote Life.

Grizz: All right, let's go, bros.


Ooh, are these new?
[Vehicle approaches]

[Knock on door]

Woman: E.P.A., anybody home?


Hello?

[Mystical music plays]

Whoa, wow! [Chuckles] Ah, you scared me.

Hi, I'm from the E.P.A.

Elephant... pie... activity?

Hmm, environmental protection agency.

Sir, can you please tell me what all these bags are for?

Oh, you came here to learn about Tote Life.

Tote Life?

Why didn't you say so earlier?

Come, come.

[Mystical music continues]

[Chuckles]

So you're probably asking... what is Tote Life?

[Chuckles]

Tote Life is about being involved.

But why so many of them?

I'm glad you asked. [Chuckles]

One tote saves a beaver.

A thousand bags saves a thousand beavers!

With this many totes, we're practically saving the world!

What? Look, I'm only here to tell you ...

[Sniffs] Do you smell it?

Come, come. Join us for lunch.

Us?

Tote Life.

Tote Life.

Grizz: Hey, hey, what's cooking?

Tote wrap. Mmm.

Mmm ... delicious.

Yeah. [Chuckles]

This looks awesome. Want some?

Uh, no thanks. Sir, I really just need to ... huh?

Drink tote tea.

No, thanks.

[Sighs] Okay, so these bags ...

Mm, totes.

Okay, totes.

Tote Life.

Tote Life.

Okay, we need to get you guys out of here.

It's unsafe. Is it just the two of you?

Oh, no. My brother, Panda ... amazing Tote Lifer.

You will love him. [Chuckles]

[Panda giggling] Oh, that's so interesting.

Oh, Panda.

I mean, that's a silly question.

Let me ask you this then. [Chuckles]

Ugh, what is he doing?

Tote Life. [Screams]

What are you doing here, man?! I told you to knock.

Me and Sinead were having a date night.

And who's that?

Oh. [Chuckles] She's my ex.

We still talk sometimes... [Whispers] but she's crazy.

[Chuckles] Tote Life.

Tote Life.

Okay, this needs to stop!

Stop what?

This is crazy. I came here to take care of multiple complaints about your "Tote Life."

Complaints? We're not hurting anyone.

[Sighs] Step outside with me for a second.

[Dramatic music plays]

What the... Oh, man, look at this place.

Huh?

What?

[Chirping]

Oh, no, what have we done? How could we let this happen?

Ice Bear is to blame.

No, we all are.

Grizz: We all did this. We let the Tote Life consume us.

Panda, we need to do something.

Ice Bear wants out of Tote Life.

We need to get rid of our totes.

No, never!


Panda, wait!

Tote Life! Huh?

[Rumbling]

[screams]

Panda!

[Screams]

The structure is collapsing. I have to go in and save the animal.

No, he's our animal. This is our responsibility.

We will go save our brother.

Wait, take this ... it'll help you see.

Thank you. All right, let's go.

[Grunting]

I have no idea where he is.

Not sure where to go. How are you doing back there?

Ice Bear needs oxygen.

Let's surface.

[Both gasping]

Okay, you go search towards the kitchen, and I'll look around here.

[Inhales deeply]

[Dramatic music playing]

Oh, his phone. It's still warm.

Panda: [muffled] Hey, get me out of here!

Help me.

Panpan!


Help me.

[Grizz gasps]

[Gasps] Grizz, stop, I'm stuck.

Leave me. It's too late.

No, never. [Rumbling]

I'm not leaving. I just got to dig to ... [groans]

[Grunting]

[Dramatic music continues]

[Screams]

[All scream]

[All gasping]

Hey, are you guys all right?

Ice Bear is a survivor. Hero.

You know, guys, the whole point of tote bags is to reuse and conserve for the environment.

You only need, like, one or two ... six if you're pretentious about it.

I understand now.

We're sorry about the mess.

But what do we do to get rid of all our totes?

Ice Bear has buyer's remorse.

[Chirps] Let me help you with that, little fella.

Wow, look. It's the first tote we ever got.

Oh, yeah, from the hip-looking cashier.

[Gasps] Wait a minute.

These babies are limited wildlife edition. Some of the money is given to help local beavers build their dams.

[Gasps] I have an idea.

This is one of the best ideas you've ever had, Panpan.

Mother nature would be proud.

[Chittering]

Woman: Tote Life?

Bears: Tote Life.
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