01x01 - Wood For The Trees

Episode transcripts for the 2014 TV show "Utopia" (AKA "Dreamland"). Aired October 2014 - 2019.*
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"Utopia" (AKA "Dreamland") follows the working lives of a team in a newly created government organisation responsible for overseeing major infrastructure projects, from announcement to unveiling. Set inside the offices of the "Nation Building Authority" it explores the collision between bureaucracy and grand ambitions.
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01x01 - Wood For The Trees

Post by bunniefuu »

It's a nation-building project...

New infrastructure for...

If there is a buzzword in this budget, it's 'nation-building'.

The infrastructure projects right around...

Real projects and real money...

A transformational vision for the infrastructure of the 21st century.

I want to be known as the Infrastructure Prime Minister...

Nation-building...

Nation-building for recovery...

The nation-building program...

Nation-building...

And if you were to assure Mr Siaw that we are mindful of his concerns regarding the timing of the agreement and flexible as to its implementation.

Very good.

And that we look forward to meeting him in person.

What date is...

Oh, the date?

The date is the...

The date is... Have it here.

The eighth, it's the eighth of the eighth.

So, very auspicious date for... with the...

The eight is, um... Is that date OK?

He said yes.

He said more than that, didn't he?

OK, well, uh, we look...

Thank you for your time.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Wow, that was hard work.

What have we got next?

Canberra.

Nice to speak to someone in English.

Yes, it will.

Will that be all?

Oh, yes, thank you. Sorry.

I'm on to it!

Hugh? OK, we need to really fast-track that memorandum of understanding for the Chinese.

Jim, sorry, he's just on some conference calls.

Oh...

Did you want me to grab him?

No, no, no, it looks serious, it's fine.

I just wanted to run something past you.

What do you reckon?

Wow, is that the development?

Yeah.

It's come up a treat, hasn't it?

Oh, sure has.

Yeah, just one little hiccup.

Or bit of a blip.

A hiccup or a blip?

Hugh?

Well, more of a mix-up.

Just inside the front cover.

First paragraph down.

'This integrated urban environment will boast leisure precincts, parklands and dynamic open spaces in addition to its very own community gardens.'

Stop.

I have.

That's the bit - community gardens.

That was never in our draft.

I know.

Then how did it get there?

I guess someone upstairs was trying to pump things up, got a little carried away.

Well, let's just delete it.

This has not been released?

Not to everyone.

Is that the blip?

I mean, there's ten different...

Have you got a spare charger?

I can get you mine!

Yeah, not for a laptop.

For a phone, please.

Actually, can I...

No, hang on...

No, I think I've got it.

Can I call you back?

I found it.

You're right. All good. Thank you.

I'll call in two minutes.

Sorry about this. Sorry.

Is something wrong?

Just received this.

Look, I know what you're going to say.

Mm-hm.

There are sensitivities involved.

We're Nation Building Australia and we got a huge Chinese investment.

Absolutely.

What's up with the Chinese?

Shanghai Syndicate. Siaw Holdings.

Hmm, didn't see that.

Then what are you worried about?

Have you looked at it?

I negotiated it.

Closely.

What have we missed?

No, you're not seeing the wood for the trees, Tony. The logo.

What about it?

You got a $4 billion public-private investment deal and you're going to use that logo?

Don't think so.

Sorry, what's the wood?

Actually, what's the trees?

Jim!

It slipped through the net!

This is what the drafting process is for.

You add stuff, we add stuff, you look at ours, we look at yours.

We run it past a developer, we all agree and THEN it gets released.

Are you saying we missed a step?

You added a community garden!

It's a couple of swings and a seesaw.

That's a community playground.

Then, what's a community garden?

They're like, you know, big vegetable patches.

What for?

So people can grow their own produce?

Why would you do that?

It's supposed to foster a sense of neighbourhood.

Social cohesion.

That rings a bell.

Social... What was it again?

Cohesion.

That's the phrase the interviewer used.

What? When he was talking to the Planning Minister about it on the radio.

The radio?

Radio National.

The response was amazing - inbox full, people applauding us, wanting to get involved.

AND Stephanie Alexander - two missed calls.

I don't think there's a place for a community garden.

There must be somewhere we could squeeze in a couple of tomato plants.

Maybe...

I tell you what.

I'll leave it with ya.

I can't even bring myself to look at it.

Rhonda, I just hung up on a federal minister.

Good, because we need to get on top of this.

We're nation builders, for God's sake!

It looks like we're still building for Snowy.

What's wrong with it?

Everything.

The font, the colours, tell me one thing it does well.

It says who we are.

Disagree.

It doesn't speak to me.

It's a logo!

I deal with a lot of departments and this is the sort of thing everyone's getting right.

Whereas I look at this and what do I hear?

Nothing.

What do you want it to say?

'Hey, you! Get excited! Get ready!

Because Australia's being built.'

OK, well, I'll take...

'So get out of the way!'

Yep.

'Because the future's now.'

Bang!

Whee, OK, are you done?

Bang.

OK, well, I'll make a note to think about it...

No, we need to jump on this train.

Yep, sure, definitely.

The logo is...

That minister phoned back.

Oh, great, what line is she on?

No, I told her you were busy.

What?

And I didn't quite get her name.

I know her name.

Phew!

Can you get her back on the line?

Oh, she would have boarded by now.

We could put it here.

That's a roundabout.

Sorry, I just saw green.

Um, in front of the apartments?

No, that's the promenade.

What about behind?

I think that puts it in the shade.

So?

What would you grow?

Mushrooms?

What about here?

Uh, that is a car park.

What if we put the car park underground and the gardens on top?

It's a little expensive.

Then put the gardens underground?

In order to grow what?

Mushrooms. Can we forget about the mushrooms, please?

Truffles.

What about here?

What is it?

It's green.

It's not a roundabout.

Thanks for joining us this morning...

The gardens are offering local residents...

It's a vibrant community garden...

In a community garden project that's...

Cool, even though gardening's a bit old-fashioned.

We feel really privileged to be a part of...

That is an awesome idea.

We need the rain, that's true, but you need to keep the topsoil...

Yeah, no, that was loud and clear.

If I... Yes, no, that was loud and clear as well.

Sorry, if I could just...

Hello? Hello?

How's it going?

Uh, good.

Yeah, just spoke to Gary Bennett.

Oh, great.

The property developer for the...

Yes, mate, I know who he is.

Uh, and I told him about the community garden.

Yep, what did he say?

Do you want it with or without the swear words?

Without.

Uh, point one - it's the dumbest beeping idea I've ever heard.

Uh, two - tell her she's beeping crazy. I think that's you.

Listen, you beeping red-headed twerp - I think that's me - why would people buying luxury beeping penthouses want to grow a beeping lettuce?

Um, and then he became really angry.

Right.

Constin?

Karsten.

Kanstin?

Karsten.

Oh, sorry, we did meet before, didn't we?

Carlston's here. Yep.

Tony? Yep. Khanstin's here for Rhonda's logo meeting.

Oh, no. Actually, can Scotty do it?

I'm not in.

But you are.

Yeah, but he doesn't know that.

Uh, he does. I should check these things, shouldn't I?

Yeah. Let's make this really quick.

Gotcha.

Actually, if I'm not back in ten, come and get me.

What do I say? Oh, say there's an urgent phone call.

Something like that.

OK, got it. Gotcha.

Oh, and that minister from the other day rang back.

Why didn't you come and tell me?

You were in a meeting with Scotty.

But I got her name.

I know her name.

In future, come and tell me.

Right.

But check if you're in first.

Karsten?

Tony.

Ah, welcome back.

Scotty.

All done?

How good are they!

Yes, good. Now, Tony, I know how you like to get these things really moving along so I've got them all set up and ready to go so this should not take more than an hour or two.

Right, I'll stop you there.

I like that one.

I don't.

I do.

None of these are ours.

So?

They're copyrighted.

Can't we just change it a little and get back on the road?

That's a bit dangerous.

Hmm, sounds dangerous. Yeah, we're trying to make a decision.

Are those ours?

Now, we'll get to these.

I like that one. OK, well, Tony, if you just want to take a seat.

Yeah, it speaks to me.

Tony...

It says all the things I need to hear. 'Bam! Hey, you!'

No, I'm not hearing that.

Quick decision?

OK, well, just take a seat and we'll...

Alright, if I get called away, that one.

You f*cking idiots!

It was added by someone in another office.

Bit of a blip.

This is no blip.

Then it's a hiccup.

What were they thinking?

They were hoping that a small garden might add a sort of village feel.

Village?!

Yeah, sort of an added feature.

Have you seen our apartments?

Do they look like they want to be growing tomatoes?

Uh, lemons maybe? Or limes?

For the cocktails?

Modern. Elegant. Inner urban chic!

Yeah.

And you want to put a compost heap in the middle?

Or round the back.

Depending on shade.

You're f*cking kidding me.

It wouldn't have to be large.

Inner. Urban. Chic!

Gotcha.

Good!

But if we found the right loca...

Listen, the only vegetables that I want to see within a half mile of my apartments are gonna be sitting on the shelf of the IGA, you got it?

You clueless, work experience clowns.

I think that was point four.

Whereas this one really speaks to the future, elements of a building and construction.

Very... It's very bold.

Um, Tony.

Yes?

I was just saying that this one speaks to the future.

Yeah, I hear that but they're all so good.

Maybe we should just go through them one more time.

No, no, good idea. Oh, Katie.

Tony, sorry to interrupt, phone call for you.

Oh, OK, is it urgent?

Yes. Yes, it's urgent.

Who is it?

Uh, that company?

Now, why don't I speak and you can stay...

No, I'd better speak to them.

Which company was it?

Um...

But it's urgent.

Yes.

You can take it in here, then.

Great idea.

No, no, I'll go...

It's absolutely fine, I will wait outside. It sounds important.

I'll wait outside.

OK.

I should have thought of a name, shouldn't I?

Oh, is this related to the...

You fooled me!

Can he see me?

Yep.

OK, let's finish this meeting ASAP.

And, Scotty, you ride shotgun on it.

This organisation is on the verge of an investment coup and we're currently redesigning logos.

Hey, are you speaking to me or the person on the phone?

Person on the phone is fake.

Fooled me again.

I need you to keep a lid on this bullshit.

Yeah, got it.

OK, let's get him back in, knock this on the head.

I'm on a plane in three hours.

Oh, yeah? On a plane.

No, a real one.

6:07, thanks for joining us this morning.

..great way for residents to meet and mix with each other.

About time developers thought about...

Yeah, I like the idea...

It's like that Jamie Oliver thing where you teach people to grow their own...

Everyone should have their own garden even if...

It's good for everyone.

Put people ahead of profit.

What's that?

For you.

From Gardens Australia.

'Enjoy this selection of produce from one of our very own community gardens.'

Oh, wow.

I just think we might have gone in a little half-cocked.

We announce half-cocked ideas all the time.

Is this a carrot?

Uh, I think so.

Why is it purple?

It might be organic.

Jim.

What's the problem?

Uh, where to put it.

What about here?

That's a roundabout.

What about here?

It's a bit small.

It doesn't have to be big.

We could, uh, use baby carrots, micro herbs...

Jim...

Even those little bonsai cucumbers.

Problem solved.

There is another problem.

What's that?

The developer's refusing to have it anywhere near his apartments.

Is that what he said?

His actual words were, 'If you bleeping well try and put a bleeping garden...'

That's fine, Hugh. OK.

Alright, what about over here?

That's a Costco.

What about there?

Jim, please, stop pointing.

What's here?

Unplanned zone.

Let's plan it.

It's years down the track. We don't even know what's going there.

A community garden.

For what community?

This one.

That's 3km away.

So?

The whole idea of a community garden is that it's near the community.

They can get a shuttle bus...

A community shuttle bus.

Jim, it won't work.

Well, I was saving this.

But Jamie Oliver's people, they want to talk.

Oh, wow.

This thing's away.

What about there?

That's water. Oh.

Sorry, Katie, am I gonna have lunch with them as well?

No, but Mr Siaw and his assistant, Mr Siong, will drop by here.

After lunch?

Yes.

And will there be a translator?

'Cause last time we stood around nodding and smiling.

It was kind of awkward.

There'll be a translator.

OK, fine. I'm going in now.

Got it.

Now, Karsten, congratulations.

Thank you.

Finally.

You haven't seen it yet.

Yeah, but it's done.

Oh, yes. Great.

Yes, ready to go. Special thanks have to go to Scotty, who has been a great source of assistance.

Where is Scotty? He's just gone to get some more mood boards.

We should wait...

No, let's get this over with.

Let's knock it on the head.

Alright, well.

Before I reveal anything, we didn't want to get too far away from the original logo.

No, we want to make it more of an evolution.

Exactly, but I hope you agree that all the elements are still very much here.

I'll keep that in mind as we...

But let's have a look.

Tony?

Yes?

Allied International Propriety Limited are on the phone.

Yes, but I'll speak to them in five minutes.

It's urgent. Yes, but in five minutes, I'll speak to them.

No time, it's really urgent.

I'll quickly speak to them.

No-one leave.

Allied International.

Why would you want to put it here?

Oh, it's not locked in.

I mean, we're just scoping out some general possibilities.

A community garden?

Yes.

Here?

Yes.

But for what community?

Uh, the Woolarong urban development.

Way over there?

There might be a shuttle bus.

But surely if you're gonna...

We just need to know the sort of potential problems that one might encounter if we were to choose here.

Here?

Yes, Marnie!

Sorry, I just need an overview.

Have you got a pen?

Yes.

Sorry about that, Karsten, all good.

That's alright.

Take a seat.

No, no, not this time. Reveal away.

Scotty's not back yet.

Yep, let's go.

Will Allied International call back?

Let's go.

OK.

Bravo, maestro.

Merci.

Where's our name?

Didn't need it.

On our logo?

Mm-mm.

Not when you've got something that strong. Thank you.

I thought the whole point was to tell people who we are.

Tell him, Karsten.

The more you write, the more words and letters that you use, the less you actually say.

This way, the logo does all the talking.

OK, and what is it saying at the moment?

Listen to it.

Yeah? Might need someone to speak on its behalf.

Just, I'm going to play the soundscape.

What?

It's saying, 'One idea - nation-building - through a prism - your organisation - endless possibilities.'

Bam! I hear that. Loud and clear.

Yeah, but at least have our letters - NBA.

N... B... A.

But I don't want people playing Where's Wally? with that.

Could we just have the soundscape off...

Actually, Karsten, can you just give us five minutes alone?

Can do.

Allied International on the phone...

Tell them to stop calling, please.

OK? Thank you.

Sorry, was that problem three or four?

Uh, four.

OK, so your gardens are in.

Who's gonna run 'em?

Five.

The residents?

The residents live in another postcode.

No, who's going to manage the place?

Six.

A manager?

We need a committee.

We need constitution, governance...

Sorry, slow down. Uh, seven?

So your garden's in, what are you gonna do about security?

I'll make this part B.

Sorry?

How are you gonna protect it?

Scarecrow?

From people.

You know, pinching crops.

Dumping rubbish. Vandals.

You need fencing, 24-hour lighting.

We're running a garden, not a Witness Protection scheme.

Just letting you know the problems.

And it's been very helpful.

I'm not finished.

Do you understand how a prism works?

Rhonda, I do.

I just don't like the logo.

What don't you like about it?

Everything - the cost, the hassle, the prism-y thing.

Look, I've let you had your play, I'm not gonna go into it.

I don't think it should be our logo.

It's a bit late to say that now. What?

Karsten's logo's just been shortlisted for a national design award.

How? He only just unveiled it.

Submitted a couple of weeks ago and we got the good news this morning.

It's very exciting.

OK, yep.

What's it got to do with us?

Just the sort of heat we need.

There's a buzz now.

People want to learn who we are.

Who are the prism people? God, the people in the prism, who are they?

They certainly won't learn that from the logo, Rhonda!

Really? People in the prism, ideas come out.

Of course they're gonna learn that.

We've finally got something that's speaking and you wanna go back to the old logo?

It's not the old logo! It's the current logo! It's on the wall!

I don't understand you, I do not understand.

How is it...

You know what?

Have your logo, rebrand everything, I don't care.

I've got a huge deal I'm trying to lock...

As long as this is the last I have to deal with it, fine.

Fine.

Fine.

OK, say we resolve all the issues you've mentioned...

Where are you gonna park the shuttle bus?

We'll find a place.

Assume it's resolved.

But after all that, is there anything to stop us from putting a garden here?

Guess not.

Good!

Once you've tested the soil.

Soil testing.

Amy, it's Tony.

Hello, Tony.

My swipe card's not working.

Where are you?

Here, at the door.

Oh! Oh, I'll let you in.

Thank you.

I don't know what's wrong with it.

We're getting new swipe cards.

Why are we doing that?

So they have the new logo on them.

That is a tail wagging a dog.

I thought it was a triangle with a fan.

No.

Any idea...

What the hell's going on?

They'll only be a few days.

I knew this would happen.

When do we get the new swipe cards?

As soon as you get your photo taken.

Oh...

You need two passport-sized photos looking straight ahead, not smiling.

I won't be.

Preliminary soil report.

And good news?

No.

You're smiling.

Am I? I shouldn't be.

Katie?

Yeah?

I can't retrieve my emails.

Is your email down?

Yes, it is.

Do you know why?

Yes.

Why?

We're offline for a few hours while they update the website.

What's wrong with it?

Nothing.

Then why are we updating it?

'Cause it's got the old logo.

Oh, did you ring the Foreign Minister's chief of staff back?

No, when did he ring?

I emailed you.

The emails are down.

Oh, yeah.

When you get it, make sure you call 'cause I marked it 'urgent'.

I'll call him now.

Oh, you need the number!

Yes!

Yes. Uh...

It's on one of these.

Zinc, mercury, magnesium.

Yeah, I think there used to be a factory there.

What did they make? Multi-vitamins?

No, I think it was batteries.

What's Pb?

That'll be lead.

Oh, is it? What's Cd?

Uh, cadmium.

Oh, thank you.

Yes, thank you.

This can't be right.

It's from the lab.

So, basically we can't grow vegetables in that soil.

You can, you just can't eat them.

See, that's the whole idea - to eat them.

Then you have to dig up the soil.

Can you imagine how expensive that would be?

Yeah.

Hugh, you're smiling again.

Am I? I shouldn't be.

Thank you. What's that smell?

Oh, um, the paint.

Where is everyone?

Downstairs until they finish here.

I've the Chinese coming in half an hour.

And you got that meeting with Mr Siaw.

That's the Chinese, Amy.

It's the same meeting.

Oh, that explains so much.

I need these new documents formatted and printed before they arrive.

Shall I take them downstairs?

No, no, print them here.

We can't.

But I thought we're back online.

We are but the printer needs to be reconfigured.

What?

Because of the new logo?

When the rainbow comes out of the house, it can't deal with all the colours.

It's actually an idea going through a prism and then breaking...

Oh, that's clever.

Amy?

Go downstairs?

Yes, please.

Oh, have you got your passport...

I'll get them.

Apparently, you can smile now.

Not gonna happen, Amy.

Excuse me?

Yeah?

Mate, someone at your door.

Oh, sh*t, they're early.

I just...

Welcome.

The...

Sorry, I just...

It's an alarm that...

It's an... I'll try and turn it off.

Once again, my sincerest apologies for that mix-up earlier with the smell and the noise and...

He wishes to know the significance of your sign.

The logo?

Logo? Oh, yes, logo.

He wants to know why there is an expl*si*n coming out of the teepee and is it a cannonball?

Oh, no, it's an idea going through a prism - that's us - and breaking into many possibilities.

He says that he prefers the old one.

You know what, I agree with him.

Anyway, very productive meeting and we'll keep you up-to-date as the project firms up.

He says thank you and he has been honoured to have had your time.

Very kind. Scotty, have you got some of my cards?

Um, still waiting on the printers with the new logo.

OK, and some of the old cards?

Thrown out.

Grab the post-it notes?

Yes.

Just Tony...

Tony.

Are you 0-6-1...

0-1-6.

Thank you.

We'd have to excavate the entire site... Done.

..and dispose of the contaminated soil. Done.

Jim, have you thought of the cost?

Have you thought of the blow back if we stop?

All of that interest?

All of those re-Tweets?

It'll just take one photo of Stephanie Alexander looking sullen and the Tweet tide will turn.

And you can forget about Jamie Oliver visiting.

Is Jamie Oliver visiting?

Teaming up with some local youth.

Gonna make a TV show where they open a cafe using only inner city produce.

Well, that's the other problem.

Even with the site remediation, we can't guarantee anything will be safe for human consumption.

They could end up having lead poisoning.

That takes years to show up.

Jim...

It's an eight-week series.

Jamie Oliver!

OK, here's one possibility.

Yes.

Don't Tweet. You haven't heard it.

Just a draft.

Hmh!

We build the gardens... No.

Draft.

But... No. In stages.

First stage, soil testing.

Haven't we already done that?

We need time.

Oh!

More testing.

Yes.

Followed my a scoping study.

Yeah.

Maybe more testing.

OK.

And how long do you think all this might take?

How long do you want?

Couple of years?

But we still say the garden's going in.

Absolutely, I mean, we're just trying to get it right.

But there could be some issues...

There's definitely going to be some issues.

A few blips.

But I can say we're going ahead?

'Cause there are some big names in the mix here.

Go for it.

Great.

Slow Food Movement will be happy.

Couldn't get any slower.

Morning, Amy.

Morning.

I'm actually warming to it.

Mm.

All done.

Ah!

And it works downstairs as well.

Great. That's great. Well done.

Oh, and Katie wants to see you first thing.

Ah. Beauty.

More good news?

Yeah.

Are they the cards?

Yeah.

Oh, they don't look that bad, actually.

They're embossed.

It was a little more expensive but Rhonda found it reflected us, something about the trees and wood.

Can you send a couple to Mr Siaw and his interpreter when we get the memorandums of understanding done?

'Cause we need to get them done as soon as possible.

Actually, we've been asked to hold off on that.

Can't do that.

Just for a day or two.

Who asked?

Amy. Amy?

Well, not Amy.

The legal department that called...

What legal department?

Ours.

They just need to check something.

What?

Something about it being too close to another logo?

Oh, you're kidding me.

Do you know a band named Pink Floyd?

Yes.

They had an album.

Dark Side Of The Prism?

Yep.

Is that something to do with the trees in the wood?

I'll send the proper cards through when we get the teepee with the... on the prism on the...

When the new cards come through, we'll send them.

Are we still locked in?

Yes.

OK, where are the painters?

They went to lunch.

OK.

Would you like a post-it?

Please. Please.

Just Tony?

Tony. Tony.

1-6?

1-6.

Would you like email?

No, no, just...

Just a call, I think...

And, sir, in the back? One for you?

Sorry, 1-6.

1-6.

If you're calling from China, it's...

You've got a plus-6-1-0.

Yeah, I'll fix that.

That's the updated card.

And it's free after nine o'clock too.

Or use Viber.
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