01x05 - Arts And Minds

Episode transcripts for the 2014 TV show "Utopia" (AKA "Dreamland"). Aired October 2014 - 2019.*
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"Utopia" (AKA "Dreamland") follows the working lives of a team in a newly created government organisation responsible for overseeing major infrastructure projects, from announcement to unveiling. Set inside the offices of the "Nation Building Authority" it explores the collision between bureaucracy and grand ambitions.
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01x05 - Arts And Minds

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♪ Dean Martin: Volare This is a nation-building project.

..infrastructure of the 21st century.

If there is a buzz word in this budget, it's 'nation-building.'

Projects right around the country.

Real projects, real money.

Transformation and vision for the infrastructure of the 21st century.

I want to be known as the infrastructure prime minister.

Nation-building or recovery.

..from the nation-building program.

Nation-building...

Nation-building.

♪ We can sing in the glow of a star... ♪

So now, when I put an appointment in my computer, it automatically goes to your calendar. That's great.

For example, click today.

Yep.

You've got a meeting with Jeff this afternoon at 2:30. Oh, OK.

And is this meeting...

With Jeff.

Yeah, but am I meeting him or is he meeting me?

Does it say?

No.

I'll have to check, but it's at 2:30.

And where?

I'll check that too.

And is it Jeff Kane or Jeff Storelli? Checking!

OK.

Morning, Tony.

Morning, Amy. Good article in the paper this morning.

Was there?

Something about us being one of this government's success stories.

That was good, wasn't it?

I don't place too much stock in newspaper articles though.

But it makes up for that other one. What other one?

Nothing. Is this about the Western bypass?

I don't know. A project we had practically nothing to do with and found our logo splashed all over it?

I didn't want to ruin your day. You didn't ruin...

You know what?

The sun is shining.

No-one was in my car spot this morning.

Nothing's going to ruin my day. OK.

It was just about how our role seems to be unclear. Got it.

It was so unfair.

Yup.

It just went on and on and...

Thanks, Amy. Got it.

Do you want a copy?

No, thanks!

This is so unfair.

A couple of back-handers.

No, he went on and on.

Our role IS a little unclear.

No, the stuff he said afterwards.

What did he...

Morning, all.

Have you seen this?

Business papers. Who reads those?

Do you want a copy?

No, thanks, Scotty.

Shall we make a start?

Start on what?

The meeting.

Katie? There's nothing here.

I put it here!

Oh - I didn't press 'done.'

It's OK.

Sending it through now.

OK. Sorry, Rhonda, there's been some IT issues.

Did you get it?

Got it! Meeting with Rhonda.

What's this about?

The new highway. Very exciting.

M1?

I thought it was the A1.

Bits of it are the A1,but it's mostly...

No, it's the one that goes around the whole... Country?

The one you've just built.

We haven't built anything. We're just overseeing final stages.

The umbrella organisation.

Our logo's all over the bit up the side.

The Pacific Highway?

Doesn't matter.

Sure.

What I'm hearing is, there could be some sort of delay.

There's always delays.

This could jeopardise my launch.

Why are we launching a road?

It's not just a road, this is a link.

It's the final link in the loop that brings it around.

This links the whole...

Are you talking about AusLink or national Roads to Recovery?

I might be. That's not the point.

The point is, I've got State and federal ministers pencilled in, a national anthem to organise.

It's not the grand final. I want to know why there's a delay.

Katie, can you grab Nat for a second?

I'll send an e-alert to her calendar.

No, just stand up and call her.

After the e-alert?

Nat?

This is bullshit.

Turns out there may well be a delay.

Is this structural? Is this about the work with the resurfacing?

No, it's to do with the art.

Art? Are we still talking about the highway?

Well, the final stretch of it.

Apparently, the plan was to mark the project's completion with a series of iconic roadside installations.

Here's a thought - how about we mark the completion of the project by just completing the project?

They've done it before.

Apparently, it was very successful.

Who did it before?

ConnectEast. They built a motorway in Melbourne.

I think ConnectEast almost went broke doing that.

But the art was very successful.

What sort of art is it?

Giant statues.

And there's a big mural.

That's got nothing to do with us.

No, it was a Federal Arts initiative.

The Federal Arts Minister cleared it with the State Roads Minister, but they both forgot to tell the Federal Transport Minister.

You're kidding me? We've been called to help sort it out.

What exactly is the problem?

Problems.

Several of the artworks are causing issues.

How many are there?

Artworks or problems?

Both. 15 artworks have been commissioned.

And there's six problems.

So six artworks have problems?

Five - one of them has two problems.

Rhonda's planning a megalaunch for this thing. I know.

I got sent a draft schedule.

Do we know who's singing the national anthem?

Look into it.

Find out what the problems are.

I want it sorted.

OK.

Do you have a physio appointment at 6:30?

Yeah, why? I just got it sent to my calendar.

Now I don't know how to switch it off when it rings.

Don't you just swipe it?

Or tap it.

I did that, and I keep getting the weather out.

Morning.

Hi, Jim.

Katie.

Jim.

I got a briefing on this road launch.

Yeah.

Big whispers - the PM has agreed to... (Honk-honk!)

That's big news. Do you know exactly what the achievement is that we're celebrating?

That we've finally got a road around Australia.

But we've had that for 40 years.

That it's divided?

Yeah, but bits of it aren't divided.

Is it that we've got the ripple strips down the side?

Do they now go all the way?

I don't know that they...

Anyway, a big day for Australia, thanks to you and the team.

We've had very little to do with this project.

Oh, come on!

Our logo's all over it.

Let's celebrate a successful outcome.

On that, we've heard there might be a minor delay.

Unions? Council?

No. No.

Environment!

No, art.

Oh! In order to commemorate this final stretch of...

..whatever, apparently, there's a whole bunch of roadside art going in.

When did you agree to this?

We didn't agree to anything.

Have you got it under control?

We're looking into it.

Alright, good man. That's another reason I came down.

Mumbai.

What about it?

Turns out it's our sister city.

And?

They want to send a delegation down to get a glimpse of what we're doing.

What for?

They're thinking of setting up a nation-building authority of their own.

And they want to learn from us?

Hey, don't act so surprised.

We're getting a lot of attention around the world.

Anyway, you couldn't take them for a couple hours?

Jim...

It's just a goodwill visit.

Lunch, give them a squiz around the office, then ship them off to a casino.

We're kind of snowed under. Katie!

Diary.

I already said you would.

There's an Indian delegation.

When are they coming?

Oh, Thursday, midday.

I'll pop it into your calendar.

It's only three days away, so I'll make it an alert.

(Bleep-bloop!) Oh, and do you have a physio appointment?

Yes, I do.

Nat just told me.

It's still not on this.

What's that called?

Road to Nowhere.

Well, that's just dangerous.

Yeah. It's been cancelled.

So the rabbit's OK, and the bally thing? Yeah, it's fine.

This is the first installation that's a problem.

So it's a fake truck stop?

A brilliant example of spatial distortionism.

Giving something a wanky description doesn't make it more important.

It's a three-quarter scale model of a truck stop.

And why?

In order to challenge our notions of consumerism and the predation of...

Last warning.

So what's the problem?

Its position. Turns out there's a real truck stop, fast-food outlet about 5Ks down the road.

So?

The owners are worried people might think their truck stop is also fake, and not go in.

They could lose business.

Oh, please!

Just checking - did your alarm go off? No.

It should have.

I put a calendar entry in.

What does 'T at HPS mean?'

Talk at Hillside Primary School.

The whole thing wouldn't fit, so I had to use initials.

It used to fit in my old diary. Is this now?

No. It's in an hour.

What?

Would you prefer a two-hour warning?

I'm in the middle...

Can we get out of this?

Can you call and say there's been a crisis at the office?

That's what we said last time.

Did we?

This time it's true.

It was true last time.

We can handle this.

Really?

Just go through each of the sculptures. Installations.

It's about its context in its environment.

Go through each of the sculptures, find out what the problem is and what we need to do to fix it.

Front seats, guys.

These ones too.

Quick, quick, quick!

He'll be here soon.

These ones in the front.

So...

We really appreciate you coming.

More than happy to help.

(Mobile bleeps)

Sorry. I think that's reminding me that I need to be here.

I just can't seem to...

Would you like me to...

No, I'm just not sure how to...

It's in 'settings.'

Sorry?

It's in 'settings,' in 'notifications.'

You've got to hit 'cancel.'

Do you mind doing it for me?

Sure.

Thanks.

I've give you a one-hour warning or two-hour warning...

That's all synched up?

Yeah.

Sorry. Do either of you know much about Indians?

As in, Pocahontas Indians?

Or Sachin Tendulkar Indians?

I don't know who either of them are.

What sort of Indians?

From Mumbai.

Tendulkar Indians. We've got a delegation coming this week.

Beauty!

We've got to provide lunch.

Is there anything Indians don't eat?

I know this! If they're Hindu, they won't eat beef, and if they're from Southern India, they're often vegetarian, possibly vegan.

I might just do sandwiches.

Why am I seeing Monica from the Australian Arts Council?

That's Venette! How did you...

Oh! I know what I've done.

Did you get in OK?

Can I get you a coffee?

Thanks for coming in.

We probably should make a start.

Amy, did you want to say something?

No.

Right.

Hugh, will you be joining us?

No.

Meeting with Monica at 2:30?

Oh! It was for Hugh.

Hugh, I think this alert was for you.

So Monica, I understand you chose the 15 works?

As part of a panel.

It wasn't easy.

Are you aware there have been some issues with the selection?

I'm not surprised. That's what great art does - it divides.

Or challenges?

Or challenges.

We fear there's going to be some criticism.

Isn't that the whole point of what we're doing here, to ignite debate?

No, the point of what we're doing is to get trucks from Brisbane to Sydney as quickly as possible.

Give me an example of a work that's creating problems.

I can give you six, starting with this one - g*n.

Everyone who's seen it has deemed it offensive.

I can't see why.

Neither can I.

Hugh, it's upside-down.

Oh. That's not a g*n.

He's a very busy man, but he's agreed to share some of his time with us today.

From Nation Building Australia, Mr Woodford. That's not...

Thank you, Miss Finnerty.

Thank you. Lovely to be here.

What a wonderful welcome.

Now, what do I do?

Well, my job is to help build things - big things, like roads or dams or ports or railways, things we might need for the future.

Can anyone think of something else we might need to build? Yes?

A rocket?

Probably not us, but let's put it up there because... Yeah.

We might need that in the future, a rocket. OK. Anybody else?

Houses?

Houses! Oh.

We call them 'urban renewal projects.'

Can anyone think of something else that might be vital for this country?

A national broadband network.

A little complicated. Well, you've said it. Let's put it up.

NBN. Yep.

Anything else that we might... Yeah?

A really, really long bridge.

Ooh! We've got some blue-sky thinking here in this class.

And where might the really, really long bridge go to?

The moon.

Might be a little far.

What about Tasmania?

Still far, but anyway, let's put our bridge to Tassie.

A really, REALLY long bridge.

It'll have to be a long bridge, to get there.

But OK, there it is. Anyone else?

A spaceship.

You caught his bug.

How about we put up 'satellites,' because they're very similar to spaceships but slightly more useful. Yeah?

Your physio appointment is at 2:30.

Some of these works simply won't get the go-ahead.

They've already got the go-ahead.

Not from you, from the real world.

I'm sorry.

Do you think any of the artists would be willing to modify their works?

To modify their works?

That's the question.

Would the artists be willing to modify their works?

Same question. Needs an answer.

I'd be reluctant to ask.

Would it be alright if we spoke to the artists?

Would it be alright if you spoke to the artists?

No need to repeat the question.

I guess you could try, but I'm not sure what you could do that I can't.

She can thr*aten them.

What a class.

There's so many wonderful ideas.

Giant waterslide - let's build that now.

What we need to do is prioritise, 'cause we can't build them all.

We have to decide what's the most important project. Anyone?

Can't be the rocket.

A space station.

Yep. You know what I'm going to do?

I'm going to put it up, and put it under 'space program,'

'cause that will include everything satellite and...

Now, No.2... We have to drive, don't we, in order to get places.

What might we build in order to do that?

The really, really long bridge.

I'm thinking roads.

No, let's put it up there - the bridge to Tassie, No.2.

Now let's keep going with this priority list, because when this is over, I'm going to have my office type all this up, print it out and we're going to have the official Hillside Primary School Nation Building Australia list. Yes?

Don't forget your meeting with Rhonda tomorrow at 2.

A lot of artists use this space.

Sure.

It's shared, obviously.

This is...

There it is.

There it is.

I've seen pictures, but...

The finished product will be even longer.

Permanently, or just at different times?

I could show you a more detailed mock-up.

No, no, this is plenty.

Let's be honest - when people drive down the road, what will they see?

For me, art's not so much about what you see as what you don't see.

They'll see a penis.

Sure, but others will see the folly of...

Steve?

It's, 'Stefanos.'

It's a penis.

Art's got to be confronting.

It's also got to be something we can stick on the side of a public motorway.

As it stands, your section of the road will be closed to anyone under 18.

Could be a sealed section.

I'll cut to the chase.

Unless you can modify this in some way...

What do you suggest?

Could you add a giant fig leaf?

Morning.

Morning.

We were just thinking of appointments for the day.

Can I check something about the Indian delegation?

When are they coming?

Tomorrow.

They would love to know a couple of our projects they could research before they arrive, so they can be up-to-speed.

Where are we on the East-West tunnel?

Planning stage.

Have we got plans?

Pre-planning stage.

What about the deep-water port, have we started dredging?

Waiting on the environment-impact statement.

How about Liveable Cities?

They could visit the site.

We haven't built anything.

We've built a viewing platform.

What would they see?

Potential.

This one's fine. I thought we might have an obesity issue, but they're fine with that one.

That's a problem.

What about this one?

The giant cockatoo eating grain.

I think that's one of the OK ones.

No objections? Unless the National Farmers' Federation starts to complain.

This one looks like a giant mobile phone tower.

I think it IS a giant mobile phone tower.

So, not art? Could be both.

I'll have to check.

Let's just put it in a separate pile for now.

I thought you were going to sort this out.

We're going to get the road open. We just...

Forget your road, I'm talking about my launch.

What's the hold-up? It's still three or four months away.

Do you have any idea how far in advance you have to book Jessica Mauboy?

We have issues with the artwork.

The what?

Installations.

Roadside art.

What's the difference?

Installations are site-specific, designed to transform our perception of space.

I've got no idea what you're talking about. Neither does he.

It's complicated.

It's simple. We have finally delivered a project on time and under budget, now you are telling me I can't get that good news out.

We're onto it.

You'd better be.

Come on in.

I'll get this bad boy up.

Here we go.

I'm pretty happy with it thus far.

Can I just say, right off the bat, we want a mural.

Everyone wants a mural.

We just have one issue.

Which is?

Your mural.

Do you mind if I ask you something about it?

I prefer the work to speak for itself.

Bit of a one-sided conversation.

You see...

Manhattan.

..Manhattan, you've got two cars having what appears to be a head-on crash here.

Multiple pile-ups here.

A corpse in the cemetery.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6...

Let's say ten roadside fatalities.

Plus roadkill. There's graffiti reading, 'Progress kills.'

I'm no art expert, but I am detecting a bit of a theme.

It's a polemic work.

I make no apologies.

A lot of people will not be happy having this mural on the freeway.

Bottom line, Manhattan, either you make some changes, big changes, or that stays as a concrete wall.

Is someone under the monster truck? Yes, a small boy.

Scotty! Sorry.

Katie didn't put this in.

When does the Indian delegation arrive again? Tomorrow, midday.

Did you find a couple of Nation Building projects they could research?

Yep.

The Snowy Mountain scheme and the Opera House.

We had nothing to do with them.

It had to be something we actually built? Yes.

Gee, that's tough.

Interesting!

Very interesting.

What?

That's what we like about you - your ability to think outside the square.

I have no idea what you're talking about.

How did you get hold of that list?

It's the sheet you circulated -

'priority list.'

You know what struck a cord with everyone? There's been a mis...

Satellite space programs.

We'd love to hear more.

There is no more.

Don't play games!

I'm excited. The PM's excited.

Jim...

Couple of pages, broad outline, just to let us know where you're headed. It's very exciting.

Jim...

I know!

Space program...

Scotty!

I know!

Katie!

How did a copy of this list get into Jim's hands?

I'm trying to be efficient.

I'm synching all office communications.

What?!

It said 'priority list.'

I thought you wanted them circulated.

It also had 'Hillside Primary School' written across the top!

Don't worry, I CCd them as well.

You didn't find any of these ideas just a little far-fetched?

No.

A national birthday-party centre?

Sounds like fun.

A bridge to Tasmania?

I like that one too.

A giant waterslide?

Don't they have those in Queensland?

Not built by the government!

Oh.

What is it?

70-metre cantilevered steel beams form an abstract interpretation of a city gate.

It's called Reflections.

What's the problem?

It reflects.

At night.

Car headlights make it look like you're heading into oncoming traffic.

What was he thinking?

He was trying to confront and challenge our perspectives of time and place.

We're talking to the artist.

I'm hopeful.

OK. Next?

Roadside Idyll by Stanislav Murovcik.

A playful rendering of our desire for indulgence...

What's the problem? It's raised eyebrows at Women's Affairs.

What's the issue?

They feel it could be reinforcing negative stereotypes regarding ideal form.

They're too fat.

A statue's got to have a BMI now?

Of course they're fat. They've probably been to that truck stop.

I think we can solve this one, however...

It's a sound wall.

Well, it was supposed to be, but they commissioned an artist to redesign it.

And?

He wanted to play with the form.

Hence the discs and patterns. I don't see anything wrong with it.

That's not going to offend anyone.

That's not the problem.

Then what is?

It doesn't reduce sound.

Apparently, it amplifies it.

Did they have this sort of problem when they put the dog on the tucker box five miles from Gundagai?

The Indians are coming!

Ersa...high-kay-ap-kee-atra Humara.

HuMAra.

OK.

Phew! Ah... Fiz-ee-oh Apt...

No, no, no - that's, 'physio appointment.' Yeah.

Hoomera-Satchi-Anandit.

ANandit. The emphasis is on the first syllable.

I'll do a copy and you can read it later. Welcome, anyway.

Thank you.

I'm going to join you for lunch.

Till then, my senior assistant, Scott, is going to show you around the Nation Building offices.

We would like that very much.

Shall we start with the Project Planning department?

We want to know everything about your office.

These are glass, double-hinged, two-way action.

They've got doors in India, Scotty.

He said, everything.

Maybe skip the office fittings.

Why don't you just pull on that integrated, chrome door handle?

Thank you.

You wanted a word?

Oh, yeah, Jim. Come in.

About before... Oh, yeah.

I've spoken to a few people.

Just between you and me, they're talking, Cairns.

We're going to upgrade the M1 all the way to North Queensland?

For the launch facility!

If we build this space program, we'll need a launch facility.

There IS no space program.

I know - keep this hush-hush.

There's no need to start launching our own satellites.

The PPM loves it.

We've got so many pressing...

He hasn't said anything publicly?

No, no. Although he is running it past Cabinet.

When? Not until...

Actually, that'd be today.

This is just like putting art on a highway - it sounds good, then it bites us on the arse.

How's that going, by the way?

Nat's working through the issues.

Good. It would be nice to have the launch out of the way before we announce the space program.

This is another one of our projects - the Port Pirie common-use, bulk-export facility.

We're overseeing a complete upgrade of the port.

How long did this take?

About 18 months.

18 months to complete the entire project?

No, to complete the planning proposal.

We're still awaiting approval.

Then how long?

About 12 months.

To complete it?

Ah, to complete the tender process.

It seems like a lengthy period.

It's pretty fast.

How do you guys do it back home?

We start building.

That's really fast.

We should probably come and visit you.

Can you show us something that has been completed? Yep.

Nah.

Nah, nah. Not ours.

Jim, would you just promise me one thing? sh**t.

That nothing is said publicly about a satellite or a space program.

I don't know why you're being so coy.

Would it change your thinking if I told you that we had a letter from 50 prominent Australian scientists supporting the idea?

When did this happen?

I said, if we had it.

What does it say?

Still drafting it.

Who are they?

Still tracking down the scientists.

Do you have an email contact for Rob Thomas?

The lead singer of Matchbox Twenty?

Who am I thinking of?

Andy Thomas?

That's the one. And there are two Dr Karls, aren't there?

Yeah.

Which one's on Neighbours?

Is Dr Phil Australian?

Sorry. Sorry I'm late.

I got delayed by the... (Grunts)

Your colleague has been showing us some of your impressive projects.

We're pretty proud of what we're trying to achieve here.

Certainly some grand plans here.

More than just plans.

One of the strengths we like to think we have is our ability to see things through, not just make the announcement, but...

What else are you working on at the moment, if it's not breaching any confidences?

No, we're all pretty transparent here. What are we working on?

The space program.

I wouldn't mention...

You're starting a space program?

Preliminary. Pre-planning.

Space station...

(Both speak Indian language)

Why does Australia need a space station?

We don't. We might. It's an idea.

Pre-planning.

That's it.

We'll run it past you guys when we're further down the track and see what you think.

We think we've made headway.

Finally, some good news.

Our sculptor...

Stefanos.

..has agreed to make his work look less phallic.

It's more like a telephone, but with a funny end.

I'm not sure which bit you talk into.

Hugh, put that down.

Yeah.

Our mural artist...

Manhattan.

..has agreed to lose five fatalities and the graffiti reading, 'Progress kills.'

He feels it's less confronting but still challenging.

We've managed to reduce the carnage, and at 110km/h, you won't see much detail.

Hopefully, people will be speeding.

Reflections is also looking good.

The artist has agreed to use non-reflective materials.

But still call it Reflections?

It's ironic now.

Roadside Idyll -

Women's Affairs Got Back to us.

As long as all of the family are fat or thin...

But not anorexic.

The artwork will be approved.

What about our truck stop?

Also solved.

The artist has agreed for us to reposition his instalment further down the road, after the real truck stop.

So you can eat first, then get challenged.

And the sound wall?

We spoke to the site engineer.

They can do this.

Put a sound wall behind the sound wall?

It's not cheap.

It's really expensive.

But it will be functional.

So we're done?

I think so.

Wow.

The Indians are leaving.

Thank God for that. What?

I think they're going to present us with a gift.

Oh.

That's absolutely...

Well, thank you.

It's good luck when the trunk is up.

Is it? Wow.

Well, we hope you've enjoyed your brief visit here, and our behalf, we'd like you to accept this small token of goodwill.

It's by a local artist.

Thank you.

It's a sort of phone.

It's also good luck when that's up.

Morning, Tony.

Morning, Amy.

Great article in the paper this morning.

I don't read them anymore.

No, it's really, really good.

What does it say?

'The NBA has been responsible for some of this country's most significant infrastructure projects.'

There's a couple more paragraphs like that.

That's not too bad.

Oh.

'Oh' what?

I didn't see the 'however.'

'However, the ludicrous proposal to build a domestic space program smacks of the sort of ideas dreamed up by seven-year-olds after too much red cordial.'

Tony?

Well done on the highway.

Thanks.

All set for the launch.

Mauboy's out. Ah.

Wouldn't sing in a hard hat.

Really?

Shannon Noll, though.

Apparently, he's got his own.

That's great to hear.

Unfortunately...

..space program -

PM got a briefing from Treasury - set-up costs, rocket design...

I suspected the numbers might not...

Lesson learned.

Sure.

However, you know what he's really keen on?

That bridge.

To Tasmania.

He just loves the idea of that really, really long bridge.
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