01x04 - The Trip

[bunniefuu]

Here in the middle, we have a long tradition of kids raising money for their school by hitting up their neighbours, to buy crap they don't want or need. Following in that great tradition, Sue is selling cheese and sausage for Orson Junior High.

Four exciting varities of sausage to match whatever sausage meat you may find yourself in.

I think what makes Sue such a good seller is that she can take rejection. Probably cause she's had so much practice.

Or maybe you can, perhaps, show your love of cheese, cheese ball...

I'll just wait here at the door in case you change your mind.

Let me tell you: When it come to selling cheese and sausage, Sue was driven. She was driven by Mike all over lndiana. Mike took her to Terre Haute... They went to Gary. She hit almost every county in the state. 'Cause if she sells $3,000 worth, she wins a free trip, all the way... to lndianapolis.

So it's okay to sell your stuff, Sue, but, remember, this is a place of business.

People are busy.

Oh, hey, Bob.

Would you like to help my school and send me on a trip to the state capital by buying some delicious--

I'll take ten.

Really? Oh, my God. That's great!

I love food you don't have to refrigerate.

Fridges-- they just tie you down.

That's why I just have a hot plate and a P.O. Box.

Okay, that'll be $284.

What? Are you... Ehlert.

Just casually scatter.

Oh, hi, Mr. Ehlert. Would you like to help my--

No. Frances! You forgot to make coffee again.

You got me walking around here like an idiot with a doughnut and nothing to dunk it in.

Mr. Ehlert, how come I'm the one who's always asked to make the coffee?

I'm beginning to think it's because I'm a woman.

Well, of course it's because you're a woman.

The day I start telling men to make coffee for women, you have my permission to put a b*llet in my head.

Wow. Mom, that is so unfair.

You are not going to make that coffee, are you?

Eh. Not worth the fight.

All personnel-- I've been informed there will be fresh coffee shortly.

Hey, can I interest you in a cheese sampler, so I can win a trip to my state capital?

**Put me down for the jalapeno cheddar ball.

Yes!

Oh, and if you get that, I can throw in the wild game sausage trio at half price.

Fine.

Sue was really kicking butt.

She was a shining beacon of motivation.

Axl? Not so much.

Axl, how many times do I have to say it?

Turn off that TV and get dressed for school!

It'll take me, like, two seconds. Chill.

Hey, hey. Only one to a customer.

It's for Olivia.

I'm sorry, honey. Who?

Olivia, my girlfriend.

So this girlfriend of yours-- Is she... here right now?

No. She's at her house.

So how did this happen?

You're my boyfriend now.

Okay.

Wow, Brick. That's great!

So this Olivia-- Do you like her?

She says I do.

Is she cute? Is she nice?

She has a red ribbon in her hair.

I like red ribbons.

All Heck men like red ribbons.

Red ribbons.

Ma, we're out of cereal. You going to the store or what?

Hey. I will go to the store when I decide it's time to go to the store.

Actually, we're almost out of a lot of stuff.

I'm going after work.

First I gotta go to the post office.

Then I'm gonna swing by Aunt Edie and Aunt Ginny'S.

They're hosting bridge club, and they're almost out of scotch.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

I did it.

I sold over $3,000 worth of cheese and sausage!

Oh! Honey!

That's great, Sue.

That's terrific!

Look at you.

I know.

I just have to send the checks to the company, and then I am off to lndianapolis... the capital!

Oh, honey, I am so proud of you.

You worked hard, and it paid off.

And now you get to see close-up how lndiana state government works.

I know. It's like a dream!

Damn it, Axl!

I told you, turn off the TV and get ready for school!

Now the bus is here, and you're not ready.

Told you, two seconds. Chill.

How the hell does he do that?

Now that you're my boyfriend, you have to buy me ice cream, tell me I'm pretty and walk me to and from recess and lunch.

I made you a list so you don't forget.

Okay.

The crash rating on this baby?

Two stars. Not one, but two.

Out of how many?

Five. But who cares?

'Cause if you crash, the doors are so thin, they will cut you out like that.

Sue. What are you doing here?

The school put up a list of winners for the field trip, and my name wasn't on it.

What?

Does this car have--

Yeah, yeah, it has everything. Just give me a minute.

But you were a top seller.

I know. Can you believe it?

Unfortunately, I could believe it.

This was Sue's whole life in a nutshell.

She tries and tries and never gets any recognition.

It's like people don't even see her.

Sue Heck?

Here.

Sue Heck?

Here.

Okay. Not here.

Pizza or fish?

Pizza, please.

Oh. Okay.

♪ Happy birthday to you, ♪
♪ Happy birthday to you, ♪
♪ Happy birthday dear... ♪
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

Oh, honey. That's just not fair.

What's not fair?

Sue sold enough sausage and cheese to win the big trip, and she's not on the list to go.

Oh, those monsters.

I'm gonna cancel my check.

Looks like I'm not going to lndianapolis.

I was really looking forward to it, too.

What are you talking about?

This is just a mistake.

Things like this happen all the time.

Yes, more often to you, but we'll straighten it out.

Eh. It's not worth the fight.

Great. Why do I have to be the only mom in the world whose teenager listens to what they say?

Then Sue turns to me and says, "Eh, it's not worth the fight."

Well, that's your fault. She gets that from you.

I said it once!

You say it all the time!

I do not!

Hey, we don't wear flip-flops to church.

Jesus wore sandals.

Eh, it's not worth the fight.

I'm not paying $6 a month for other fees unless you can tell me what those other fees are.

No, don't transfer me to lndia.

Don't transfer me-- Eh, it's not worth the fight.

Well, the kids are asleep, so...

Honey, I am so exhausted.

Eh, it's not worth the fight.

And I said it to Mr. Ehlert right in front of her.

Oh, my God!

Am I a horrible mother?

Too soon to tell.

It's just so unfair.

I mean, for once in her life, Sue finally wins something, and--

And then that stupid school has to go and screw it all up.

She earned that trip. We earned that trip.

Hell, yeah! I'm the one that spent 50 hours in the car with her.

Oh, did you know that her friend Stacy likes a boy named Ben, but Ben likes Stacy's friend Madison, so now they're not talking to her?

You want more? I got lots more.

I have got to fix this.

Sue has to stand up for herself.

I mean, if this isn't worth the fight, Mike, I don't know what is.

Hey, Sue, get in here.

You know what this is?

A teachable moment.

I saw that on "Oprah," or "Project Runway" or something.

I don't remember, but it's teachable.

Am I in trouble?

Sue, I want you to march into that school, talk to who's ever in charge and get yourself on that trip.

I don't know.

Mr. Perez, the teacher, is kind of weird.

Someone said they saw him crying in the parking lot.

Doesn't matter. You can't just be invisible, so you gotta stand up and fight for what's yours.

I mean, I don't always do that, but I've had kids. I'm tired.

And don't be afraid to stare 'em down.

Wow. Okay. Got it.

How's this?

You got a little something-- You know what?

Lose the stare. Just be yourself.

Hey, Brick's girlfriend's here.

Hello, Olivia. So nice to meet you.

Hi! Can Brick come out and play?

Hey, Brick? Your girlfriend's here.

Get out there and have fun.

I don't want to.

Hey, you're not getting a lot of offers, bud.

Come on! She's cute.

I told you I'd be here at 3:00.

Why weren't you waiting outside?

And another thing--make sure you're free on Saturday.

We have a birthday party.

You forgot, didn't you?!

It's like you don't hear a word I'm saying.

I hear all the words, Olivia.

All of them.

All of them.

And why do you whisper to yourself?

It's so annoying!

This was a big step for Sue. She was finally making a stand. Yep, this girl was gonna be heard... Eventually.

M--Mr. Perez?

I sold over $3,000 of cheese and sausage to, you know, go on the trip to lndianapolis?

Who are you?

Oh, Sue.

Sue Heck?

I'm in your fifth period Spanish class?

I don't think so.

Anyway... I sold over $3,000 worth of cheese and sausage to...

You know, go on the trip to lndianapolis.

Well, good for you, Sandy. We'll see you on the bus.

Uh, see, that's the thing-- I'm not on the list.

But I sold over--

Okay, I'll look into it.

Really?

Gracias.

Tenga un buena dia.

How do you break up with a girl?

You sure you want to break up with that chick?

I mean, you're kind of a weird dude.

You got a little hottie that likes you.

I'm sure.

All right. Well, girls like it you talk to 'em, so try blowing her off or something.

How do I do that?

Like this.

Great advice, Axl.

Now I'm married, and we have a baby!

I really thought I nailed the Sue thing.

I had taught her to stand up for herself.

I was so pumped, I was even making dinner.

Yep, she's lucky to have me.

I did it.

I talked to Mr. Perez, and neither one of us cried.

Oh, great!

I did it, Dad.

I was a little bit scared at first.

Okay, a lot scared...

But I stood my ground and explained the situation.

And...?

And he said he'd look into it. Yay!

Oh! That's great.

All right! See, there you go.

You stood up for yourself.

Yes, good for you.

Good girl.

Perfect.

I'm going down there and talk to that guy.

Wait, Mike, didn't you hear her?

He said he would look into it.

He's blowing her off.

I tell people all day long, "I'll look into it." I never do.

No. We are not doing this for her.

We are not helicopter parenting.

"Regis and Kelly."

You saw how excited she was.

If you go down there, you're gonna undermine her self-confidence, and she will never learn to fight her own battles.

Look, the trip is in two weeks.

If we don't hear before then, we'll step in.

So while I had one kid desperately trying to get into something, I had another desperately trying to get out.

It's her!

Don't make me go out there.

I'll do any other kind of social interaction you want me to.

There's this new boy in my class who eats his boogers.

I bet he'd be my friend.

Anyone, but Olivia.

So if you don't like her, don't play with her.

I tried! It's not that easy.

Okay, relax. I'll take care of it.

Can Brick come out and play?

Look, Olivia, Brick asked me to speak to you because he thinks you're a very nice girl, but he's not ready to get married.

But he wants to remain friends because he likes you very much.

It's too late.

We're already married and we have kids.

What God has joined together, let no man put asunder.

Okay. How about this?

You're not really married, and your kids are dolls.

So why don't you head home, and Brick will see you around school, okay, hon?

Nope.

What?

I've put too much time into this relationship to just walk away.

Well, I think you have to.

Nope.

You can't keep saying "nope" to everything.

Yes, I can.

No, you can't.

Yes, I can.

No, you can't.

Yes, I can!

Okay, that's enough.

I'm not gonna get into this because I'm the grown-up, and I don't have to.

I'm sorry it came down to this, but, uh, it's over, okay?

Brick doesn't want to see you anymore.

Got it?

Nope.

Go home, Olivia.

How ya gonna make me?

Brick, Olivia's here.

Morning.

Trip to lndianapolis is today and they didn't call.

I was all packed and everything.

Now I'll never see the state seal up close.

What?

No, no, no! You said the trip is next Saturday.

Yeah, it was next Saturday when I said it.

Now it's today.

It's today?

Well, they can't do that.

They said they'd look into it.

I'm beginning to think they didn't.

Oh! That's it. Come on.

Get your stuff.

What time did you say the bus is leaving?

It's okay, Mom.

They already left. It's not worth--

Don't you dare say it!

You deserve this, Sue, 'cause you try and try long past when others would have stopped trying and, damn it, you are going on this trip.

Mom, you're still in pajamas.

They're drawstring. It's almost pants.

Pull the bus over!

Okay, I know this doesn't look safe but I have dual air bags...

I think.

Open up!

Y-yes, I am talking to you.

My daughter, Sue Heck, is supposed to be on this bus.

A-Are--Are those pajamas?

They're drawstring. It's almost pants.

I'm sorry. She's not on the list.

Okay, you want to take it from here?

And really give it to him.

Um, I sold more than enough cheese and sausage to be on this trip.

She sold more than enough to be on this trip.

I demand... to be on this bus.

She demands!

I strongly suggest--

Strongly suggests!

Okay, you know what? I'm gonna take it from here.

Good job, though.

I've got your number, Mr. Perez.

You never had any intention of "looking into this," now, did you?

For your information, I called the company, and they had no record of Sue Heck selling anything.

That is baloney!

Nobody ever has a record of Sue, but I was there.

She counted the orders, we mailed in those checks and she is getting on that bus!

Go! Go, go, go!

I'm sorry. I can't allow that.

Oh, okay.

Get back on that bus, Sue.

Okay.

No.

You should be ashamed of yourself.

You're gonna penalize this sweet, innocent young girl because you and that stupid company can't get your acts together?

What kind of message are you sending to our young people--

That hard work doesn't pay off?

Because that's what she's hearing, loud and clear.

Yeah, congratulations.

We just lost another teen to cynicism.

So you gonna let my daughter get on the bus or not?

Eh, it's not worth the fight.

Oh, God.

I thought I mailed Sue's envelope, I really did!

I gotta stop puttin' crap up there.

I can't do it anymore.

So you're stuck with her.

It's not all bad. Olivia's got her strong points.

She's... strong.

I know. She threw a pumpkin at the car.

Hey, if you and this chick got pretend married, why don't you just get pretend divorced?

She said if we ever broke up, she'd take half my books and we'd split the babies.

She'd get Strawberry Shortcake, and I'd get Rainbow Brite.

I'm not even sure if Rainbow Brite is mine.

I don't know what to tell you, Brick.

Women are complicated.

They're not simple and straightforward like us guys.

Yeah. I only got two thoughts in my head--driving and sex.

Uh, grades. I mean driving and grades.

Unfortunately, she's the kind of girl who won't move on till she's found some other poor sucker she can torment.

Oh, yeah. Olivia called earlier.

She wants you to buy her lunch tomorrow.

She said it's, uh, her favorite and that you would know what that is.

Oh, God. I don't!

Hey. Sue make it on the bus?

All right! That oughta feel good.

Yeah, it does.

Really does.

Yep. She's lucky to have me.

Well, at least she'd be gone for four days.

Four days is a long time-- plenty of time for forgiveness.

And she did write.

Until finally...

Sue... I am so, so sorry.

I went to the post office, but before I could go in, Aunt Ginny called, and then Brick needed more goldfish and I had a million things in my head and...

I love you! I love you so much!

It was a disaster.

Because you forgot to mail in the envelope...

My name wasn't on any of the lists!

I had to sleep on the floor in the hotel.

They didn't have tickets to any of the museums, I missed the state government in action, and a junior guidance counselor had to sit outside with me everywhere because legally, I couldn't be left alone!

Well, I'm not invisible to Miss Glover now!

Oh, no. She hates me!

This is all your fault!

There it was-- Sue found her voice.

And boy, was it loud.

I didn't deserve this!

I strongly suggest...

No, demand that you make it up to me.

Yep, my girl was a fighter.

She was gonna be fine.

And all the cheese and sausage in the world doesn't make you feel prouder than that.

Oh, and Brick?

Turns out he could take care of himself, too.

You're my boyfriend now.

Okay.

Damn I'm good.