01x16 - The Bee

[bunniefuu]

Americans have had a long love affair with their cars... Road trips, tailgating, family vacations... But these days, not so much.

America is treating its cars Like an old wife it's sick of sleeping with, 'cause maybe she's gained a little weight Or stopped taking care of herself.

No offense, frances.

None taken?

America's bored with their cars, And we need a little p.R. To fix that.

Everybody give a big hand To our new customer relations supervisor...

Frances heck. Oh.

From now on, frances, You're responsible for writing birthday cards To all the cars we've sold over the last ten yes.

I'm writing birthday cards to cars?

You have until next week to do 5,000.

Congratulations on your promotion.

Shall we toast to your new promotion?

I know, right? More busywork I don't need.

Which reminds me, I got roped into volunteering In brick's class tomorrow, so you're gonna have to do it. No, I don't think I am.

Come on. You're always saying you're looking For more ways to get involved. No, I don't think I've ever said that once in my entire life.

Hey, mom? Do you think you could make me My favorite dinner on Saturday? I can hardly think to tomorrow.

How about you ask me Friday About what we're having for dinner on Saturday?

Okay. I will.

Okay.

I'll ask you Friday. I'll do that.

Definitely.

Okay!

Friday then!

Th...

Th...

"the." the word's "the," just like last time.

Still "the."

I don't think so.

Well, I'm pretty sure I'm right.

Ugh, this is a hard one.

Guys, we've been on the same page for 20 minutes.

I'll tell you what.

Why doesn't ick read a page to you guys,

Just to get a little momentum going?

"and then, as if in a dream, a mysterious specter rose from... The darkness, a brilliant light Emanating from its golden and splendiferous orb."

Did he memorize that?

No. It's just what he does.

He's been reading like that nce he was 2. Brick is really something.

He can't remember to throw his lunch away Or pull up his pants, But then he has a victory like last week, And you almost forget the other things.

He had a victory? What kind of victory?

Oh, I thought you knew.

He won the school-wide spelling bee.

School-wide.

"dear beige hatchback, I can't believe you're another year older."

Hey, mom. I was thinking I might want to have, Like, eight or nine friends sleep over this Saturday.

I mean, unless you've got something else planned.

I don't know. It's kind of a crazy week.

A big sleepover isn't really a good idea.

Yeah, you're right.

Crazy week.

Sure. I understand.

Crazy week.

Mom thinks a sleepover's not a good idea, So I'm gonna think of something else.

Okay, you do that.

Frankie, do you have any idea how smart this kid is?

He's light-years ahead of the other kids.

They're idiots next to him.

Tell her, brick. Tell her how stupid they are. They're pretty stupid.

Mike. Sorry. I'm excited.

Did you know our boy won the school-wide spelling bee?

Brick, that's great!

Why didn't you say anything?

Did they give you a certificate or something? ♪ da da da ♪

It was no big deal.

You hear this kid? No big deal? He b*at fifth graders.

And he qualified for the orson county bee At the elks this Saturday, and if he wins that, Midwest regionals in chigo next week, and if he wins that, The scripps spelling bee in washington, D.C.

We got a champ here! Heck! Heck! Heck!

Yeah, I don't think I'm gonna do it. What? Why not?

Well, it's Saturday. Saturday's my day to decompress.

Look, brick, The overlap between things you're good at And things people give out trophies for... Is pretty small.

You gotta do this, son. You have a gift!

Wow. I'd never seen mike like this About anything not sports-related.

But it sort of makes sense.

See, when you're a parent of brick, You spend a lot of time with your face looking like this...

So if mike had a chance to look like this...

You can't blame him for wanting to run with it.

For the next week, mike coached him Like he'd never been coached before. Are you ready to spell?

I'm ready to spell. I can't hear you!

I'm ready to spell!

"Perspicacious."

P-e-r-s-p-i-c-a-c-i-o-u-s.

"Perspicacious."

Is that right?

Attaboy!

"Onomatopoeia."

O-n-o-m-a-t...

O-p-o-e-i-a.

Onomatopoeia.

That's correct!

Yep, for all the crap you go through being a parent, There are some moments You just know you're doing something right...

He won.

Your brother won.

Brick heck, ture champ. He's heading for regionals.

Which are inevitably followed by other moments.

♪ happy birthday to me ♪

That's why you kept asking About a slumber party and your favorite dinner.

Why didn't you just say it was for your birthday?

I didn't think I had to!

I thought mothers just automatically remember The day their children are born.

I'm sorry. There's no excuse.

But I had a lot on my plate!

All you were doing all week was writing birthday cards!

You remembered a station wagon's birthday, But not mine?

Honey, your mother and I are sorry. We feel terrible.

We'll make it up to you. Anything you want.

You name it, and it's yours.

Can we celebrate my birthday next weekend?

Sure!

If you don't mind celebrating...

In Chicago.

Oh, my God!

We're going to chicago for my birthday?

We sure are. And for brick's spelling bee.

Oh, can we go to water tower place And the art institute? We can drive by them on the way to the bee.

Oh, my God!

Are you guys trying to pass off brick's spelling bee As my birthday present?!

No! Sure, we'll go to the bee while we're there, But your present is that you get to be in charge Of the whole trip!

The whole trip?

I'm listening.

Every decision on the way will be yours.

Where we eat, where we stay...

It's all up to you, my sweet girl Because we love you and it's your birthday And we feel very, very guilty.

Oh! I want to stay mad, But this is better than a slumber party Or chicken parmesan.

Road trip!

Road trip!

Chicken parmesan... that's her favorite.

Oh, I was way off.

Well, why did we have to get up so early?

You interrupted my R.E.M. Sleep.

My whole body clock's gonna be off. Only clock that matters is mine and your brother's.

We're on a schedule here.

We need brick rested and in the motel by 5:00.

He's got a big day tomorrow. Big weekend for him. And me My clock matters. And sue because it's her birthday weekend.

Right. Sorry. And sue.

My clock matters. And sue because it'si'm gonna get postcards From every fun thing we do for my birthday weekend, And mom's gonna help me make 'em into a scrapbook. Awesome. I'm gonna take pictures Of every lame thing we do on ts lame weekend, And then mom can look to them for clues as to why I ran away.

Brick, you cool enough? cr*ck the window.

Gotta keep that noggin oxygenated.

Spell "oxygenated." mike...

Actually, I think I, the birthday girl, Might enjoy a window, too.

Axl, switch with me. No way. I'm not sitting on the hump.

Axl, you can call the sh*ts when we forget your birthday.

Get on the hump.

Hey, who's up for singing?

♪ the hecks went traveling ♪
♪ to chicago one day ♪
♪ when along came an avalanche ♪
♪ interrupting their way ♪

I wish.

♪ oh, they went... ♪

I'm not singing!

It's my birthday trip.

Now "this land is your land," in a round! Dad, do you think you could pick up some speed So that when I hurl myself out of the car, I actually k*ll myself instead of just being injured? Sure.

I'm hungry. Hungry.

Brick's hungry. What snack did you pack?

I've got pretzels, candy corn, cheese corn, kettle corn, Girl scout cookies and frosting for dipping.

It's all in the blue bag.

You forgot the blue bag?!

It's okay! Look, "bicentennial diner, 30 miles."

We're not stopping. I want to get to the hotel Early tonight so brick can get his rest.

We can drive through somewhere. But it said they had candle dipping.

That would be an awesome postcard.

And birthday girl does get to pick the activities.

We did promise her, mike.

And besides, the sign said their food is "revolutionary."

This is gross.

I think I'm eating a potpie from 1776.

Well, I love my "ye old cobb salad."

They don't have candle dipping...

Or postcards.

Now I'll have nothing to remember this place by.

Aw, cheer up. Maybe you'll get hepatitis.

Oh, well. You guys are so gonna love The next place on the birthday trip.

I read in the aaa trip-tik that Indiana is home To the world's largest oak tree stump!

Cool! Lame.

It's the eighth wonder of muncie!

I bet no one at home has a postcard From the world's largest stump.

Why do you think that is, sue? Why?

We have to get to the motel, get brick a nice hot bath, Go over the flash cards and get him into bed.

No way we're gonna do that if we drive an hour and a half Out of our way to look at some stump.

I had the lowest of expectations, And I'm still disappointed.

So Sue's little side trips had landed us in Chicago Smack in the middle of rush hour.

But three cranky hours later, we finally made it To the motels we had picked.

Oh... My... God.

Sue should never be allowed to decide anything again In our entire lives! This place makes our house look nice!

Axl.

Uh, well... See, it's not so bad!

There's a TV.

And the bathroom is...

There's poop in the toilet!

Aw, man! Ew!

Aw, gross! All right. We'll just flush it.

It's not a big deal. My God!

Mike, I need help!

And towels!

Oh. Watch TV.

The TV doesn't work.

What did you say?

The TV doesn't work.

See? It's just static.

Well, thank you, sue, For the worst vacation we've ever had, And I am including the ozarks and the frog infestation.

I mean, come on, people! You know we're all thinking it!

Hey, we could spend all night Criticizing sue's lousy decisions, But we need some sleep, so start sleeping now!

Sue, knock it off!

Go to sleep.

Okay.

You happy now?

Sue's crying, and you're yelling at her.

I wasn't yelling.

I don't want her to wake up brick.

Yeah, that's right. It's all about brick.

That's why he gets the bed, And I'm sleeping on this disgusting, crunchy carpet.

No, we're sleeping on this disgusting, crunchy carpet Because you had to give the other bed to sue.

We forgot her birthday.

I know. But this wasn't the way to make it up to her.

This weekend is about the spelling bee.

The spelling bee is a big deal. To who?

What's that supposed to mean?

It's a big deal to you.

You're the one that wants the trophy.

You're the one that wants to win! That's ridiculous.

Don't you roll away from me! It's true!

You've been out of control this whole weekend.

I'm not the one agreeing to every half-baked idea My 13-year-old comes up with. 14. She had a birthday.

I can hear you. I can hear you.

I can hear you.

I can hear you!

Sue, come on!

It's me.

I just wanted to make everybody happy.

Oh, man!

I read something somewhere about...

"no matter how dark the night, the sun comes up..."

And something, something... Anyway, the sun came up, And it sure didn't make that room look any better.

But then...

Happy birthday.

Oh, doughnut holes?

I had to drive 10 miles up the road to find 'em, But, yeah, I know they're your favorite. Aw!

Thanks, dad.

I'm sorry if I was short with you last night.

I know this hasn't been a great birthday, And I'm sorry for that, too.

How about, when we get home, We throw you a nice, big party?

Really?

We okay?

Mm-hmm, we're okay.

But, dad? Yeah, honey?

Doughnut holes are brick's favorite.

I like waffles.

Really?

I like doughnut holes.

Remember, don't start spelling the word unless you know it.

I wonder why I'm number 11. And...and ask for the definition, Even if you know the word. Hey, look! When I look down, My number looks the same to me as it does to you. Brick, forget about the sign.

You should be focusing on letters right now, not numbers.

Now over there, that's your main competition...

Sanjit bawa. Hey!

Brick, don't befriend your enemy!

He's nothing to you. You're gonna take him down, Got it? Okay. When are we heading home?

Can we eat at der pancake haus on the way?

Sue said that they make the pancakes Right at your table. Brick...

Your ma said something last night.

Do you even care about winning this thing?

I don't know. 'cause, you know, you win, You get a trophy to put on your shelf.

I thought you'd think that was really cool. Nah, I don't really care about the winning part.

I just like to spell.

And that's when it finally sunk in for mike.

Brick really didn't care, And that chang everything.

That's your edge! That's how you're gonna win this thing...

By not caring.

You're the ice man! You're my brick of ice!

You see, unlike brick, Mike really does like the winning part.

If we can, please have All the contestants take their places?

How is he? He doesn't care at all.

I think we got a real sh*t.

Ladies and gentlemen, Welcome to the 45th annual midwest regionals.

The winner of this competition will go on to compete In the scripps national spelling bee In washington, D.C. Let the spelling begin!

"Grammar." G-r-a-m-m-a-r.

"Grammar."

That is correct.

"Privilege."

P-r-i-v-e-l-e-g-e.

I'm sorry. That's incorrect.

"Sebaceous." S-e-b-a...

"Minutia." M-i-n-u-t-i...

"Saboteur." S... a-b...

O-u-s. That is correct.

"Ecclesiastic." That is correct.

That's incorrect.

"Ubiquitous." that is correct.

Ladies and gentlemen, we're down to the final two!

One of these contestants will be our midwest champion.

Oh, my God! I can't look. I'm too nervous.

Come on, brick. Come on. You can do th.

The word is "prospicience."

"prospicience."

Can you give me the definition, please?

It means foresight, seeing ahead.

"Prospicience."

P-r-o-s-p-i-c-i-e-n-c-e.

"Prospicience."

That is correct.

The word is "guerdon."

"guerdon." what is the origin?

Stall tactic.

Middle english, from old french.

"guerdon."

G-u...

E-r...

D-o-n.

"guerdon."

That is correct.

The next word is "chiaroscurist."

Oh, my God!

No, he knows this one. What?

He studied this one. He knows it.

Yeah. He knows it. He knows it!

In that moment, it all melted away...

All the stress and the sore backs And the complaining and the fighting.

We were there for one reason and one reason alone...

To cheer our littlest member to his hard-won victory...

Our victory.

"Chiaroscurist."

C-h-i-a-r-o-s-c-u-r-i-s-t.

"T."

Oh, I'm sorry! There's only one "t."

No, no, no. He knows there's only one "t." you don't understand...

So, brick, I guess you cared about the trophy after all.

Guess you're a little more like your old man than you thought.

I wasn't mad about not getting the trophy.

I just wanted too to washington, d.C.

This trip has been so much fun, And I really wanted to go on another one.

You thought the trip was fun? This trip?

Oh, yeah. Sue makes the best decisions.

Where are we going on the way home? Uh, I don't know.

I think I'm done deciding. It's too much pressure.

Oh, come on, sue. It's your birthday really?

Okay. Well, there's this place That has the world's biggest ball of paint, And then a little further down the road Is this chinese restaurant shaped like a biscuit! Awesome!

World's biggest ball of paint, here we come.

I can't say we fell back in love with our car After that trip, but brick was right...

It is all about the journey and not the trophy, Which he didn't get, Or the postcards, which sue didn't get.

But what we did get were some pretty funny memories

I keep thinking about axl squished up In that ridiculous cot all night.

After all, it's the bad trips that you never forget.

That was definitely pathetic, But not more pathetic than the world's stupidest stump.

Why did I think that would be fun?