01x04 - Gas Station / Caricature Artist

[bunniefuu]

My name is Nathan Fielder, and I graduated from one of Canada's top business schools with really good grades.

Now I'm using my knowledge to help struggling small business owners make it in this competitive world.

[dramatic music]

♪

This is Nathan for you.

Running a gas station is not easy, and no one knows that more than daniel ashikian of sevan gas in burbank, california.

It's tough business.

I cannot compete with the big companies.

With these days it being more economical to fill up your car with champagne, it can be hard to draw in customers.

So I paid daniel a visit with an innovative way to lower his prices.

So I want you to charge $1.75 per gallon.

You know what is utopia?

Yeah.

It's in your mind.

You're not gonna see $1.75 gasoline anymore.

Only in the pictures.

Well, listen--

No, no, no. You get reasonable--

No, I am being-- I am reasonable.

You didn't let me finish.

Okay.

After rebate.

Oh.

The plan:

$1.75 gas after rebate.

A rebate will legally allow daniel to advertise the cheapest gas in the country.

And because it's such a great deal, it would only be fair to make claiming this rebate a bit more inconvenient than normal, by asking customers to drop it off in person at the top of a mountain.

At the top of the mountain.

Yeah, that's good tricky way to make money.

About an hour and a half drive from sevan gas in the middle of the angeles national forest, the peak of mount chileo is only accessible by foot.

I explained to daniel that as long as he was up front with his customers, putting the rebate box atop chileo was completely 100% legal.

If some of them is gonna claim it, it's gonna cost me money, right?

Do you think people are gonna hike up a mountain to get this rebate?

Uh...

After a week to get everything prepared, we implemented the offer.

Within minutes of the sign going up, it proved to be an instant hit, with a line of cars down the block.

Is it really $1.75?

After rebate.

What type of rebate?

It's not mail-in rebate.

You have to take it personally.

Where's it at?

Mountain chile.

Where?

Mountain chile.

Nathan, it's mountain chile, right?

What's so special about this place we have to go and get the rebate?

That's just where the drop box is.

You can't just mail it in, like just--

It's not a mail-in rebate, no.

Uh, I'll get the gas, but, no, I don't want the rebate.

Okay, it's up to you.

You don't want to do it, it's fine.

It's up to you.

Well, we're providing a free shuttle to the base if you want, and then it's an hour and a half hike from there.

Are you kidding me?

It's totally official.

Everything is explained there.

Like I expected, people were filling up and no one wanted to claim the rebate.

But then, the tide shifted.

Hey, I'm back.

I changed my clothes, and I'm ready.

Are you serious?

I'm serious.

That sounds good. Yeah, I've never been there.

You're gonna do it?

Yeah. Is that cool?

Yeah, yeah, that's great.

I've hiked. I like hiking.

Really?

Yeah.

I've never been up there before.

I hear the view is beautiful.

It was clearly working to bring in customers, but to my surprise the shuttle was actually filling up.

I saw that this was worrying daniel, and I took him aside for a chat.

To be honest, I didn't expect so many people to want to do the hike.

However, be assured that once they get up there, it's only just beginning.

Okay.

It was going to take an hour and a half to drive to the base of the mountain, so we'll check back with this in a bit.

But first, do you find this drawing funny?

If you answered yes, you're probably caricature artist greg dohlen.

He was the one that drew it.

And after two decades of doing caricatures, he has yet to make a name for himself.

It's always a struggle.

And I've kind of--

I've been doing this since '89.

But sometimes the solution is as simple as keeping up with the trends.

You drew me here.

Yeah.

It's enjoyable to see yourself portrayed as a cartoon.

Yeah.

But I don't think it makes me laugh.

Caricatures are insult comedy.

Well, yeah.

In the category of insult comedy, just to show you what's currently popular right now, here, just watch.

I like you, jason alexander. I find you sexy.

Kiss me, you fat [bleep].

I've always wanted to see what jerry seinfeld's [bleep] Tastes like.

I showed him a clip of the wildly popular comedy central roasts, which proved that to be a hit in insult comedy, the meaner you are, the better.

The plan: to re-brand greg as "the king of sting."

Um, I've got--I've gotten more negative reactions from going extreme than positive reactions.

No one liked elvis when he first came out, you know what I mean?

People were offended.

Right.

But you have to power through that if you wanna become big.

At first, greg seemed resistant to the concept.

But as we started brainstorming ideas...

Yeah, it might be funny if he's chinese, and I make him a photographer with the big buck teeth.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Little squinty eyes and big buck teeth.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He quickly began to embrace it.

I left him with a few edgy concepts of my own to work on, and he started sketching them out.

The next day, I returned to see the results.

All right, so this is the idea I had for a couple, and you have to draw a couple.

So that's you, the artist, uh, doing the woman of the couple from behind, doggy style, she's saying, "I like this."

Her boyfriend is looking at a hummingbird's penis and thinking, "that's huge."

Yeah, this is good.

It's really funny.

This is, um, your version of an asian businessman.

Um, do you think this one, uh...Hmm...

See, I'm not-- I'm not sure, uh, when you presented an asian picture which direction I should go with it.

I went all directions really.

We could try it out, see how it goes.

Sure, yeah. I mean, I'm not gonna get--

You know, in art, you know, you don't want to get in people's way or anything, so I'm not gonna-- but, yeah.

I mean, this is definitely--

I mean, the pearl harbor thing is almost not even a joke.

The rest of greg's new edgy caricatures looked great, and I could tell that he was ready to try them out in the real world.

Do you have any hobbies?

I like to bike and surf a lot.

I like swimming, deejaying, playing the trombone.

Things were off to an okay start, but I got kind of worried when an asian man sat down.

I draw caricatures that are a little mean and edgy.

Are you okay with that?

Definitely.

Yeah, okay, good.

How's that?

You like it?

Yeah.

Oh, good.

But I was wrong. The guy loved it.

You like it?

Yeah, yeah, I like it.

And from then on, it was smooth sailing.

Oh, nice, man.

Will that work?

That'll work, dude.

[both laugh]

Greg was hitting nothing but home runs, and it was amazing to watch him work.

Oh, nice.

[laughter]

So how do you feel it all went today?

People laughed. I saw people laughing.

People laughed.

Like, the deep side of people's humor comes out when you show them shock.

You know, at the beginning of all this, I had you draw me, it wasn't funny.

So now with everything that I've taught you, I'm saying go as hard as you want on me, as mean as you want.

You want the king of sting?

I want the king of sting.

Okay.

'cause I wanna laugh.

Okay.

All right, this is funny, but it's hard for me to see my grandpa depicted in that way.

He's a canadian w*r hero, and he's, like, a very--

He has, like, a very important role in our family, so I don't like seeing him depicted like this.

It just--

It was a real shame that greg chose to end the day on such a tasteless note.

But regardless of my feelings, he truly was the king of sting.

My gas station rebate was underway.

But as we shuttled to the base of chileo, I began to doubt that any of these eight determined cheapskates would drop out before reaching the peak of the mountain.

You might think I'd be nervous that sevan gas was going to lose money, but what I had told no one is that this was about more than just helping a gas station.

I set out to create the world's first perfect rebate, a completely legal rebate that absolutely no one claims.

Fortunately, most of them failed to read the fine print on their rebate slips.

They didn't realize they had signed up for a lot more than just a hike.

The gentleman who worked in the gas station told me that I would have to come hike mount chileo to get that rebate.

It's been a long day, but it's been an adventure, so it's not too bad.

What appealed to me about it was it just sounded kind of interesting.

And once you're there, you might as well do it.

I love being out here out of the city, getting to relax a bit, but it is a little bit apprehensive because it's the woods.

All right, welcome to mount chileo, a place whose history is as rich as its peak is high.

Do you have any questions?

Where's the box?

Well, you have to answer some riddles first.

Wait, at the gas station you just told us we'd have to insert the paper into a box or something and then get our rebate.

Right.

Nothing was mentioned about a riddle or a series of riddles.

Look, I don't have to pick up my kid till 3:00 tomorrow.

Let's do it.

Let's do this.

Yeah.

Let's do this.

I'm a me, me, me system.

I take care of me, I wash me, I feed me.

Okay, be quiet so we can--

I was going to point out that this was all in the fine print, but they didn't even seem to care.

This might go on longer than I thought.

I've been resting for a million years, but I never sleep.

I'm a kind of music, but out here I do not make a peep.

Wind. Woodwinds, wind music.

Is it the wind?

Is it wind?

It is not wind.

Rock.

Yes.

Right on.

Great, okay.

All right, so the next riddle is under a rock.

I was stunned by the number of people that had given up their entire day for cheap gas.

Was it the thrill of saving money?

Or were these people just completely insane?

But after nearly an hour of riddles, people finally started dropping out.

You have a test at 9:00?

Yeah, but, I mean, I do want that rebate.

What percent of your grade is it over?

It's about 30% roughly.

Yeah, you can't miss that.

No.

I was thankful there were some sensible people in the group, but not matter how hard I tried...

You know, but again, if you don't want to claim the rebate, I can understand if you would wanna leave.

Some people just wouldn't go.

I am round and hard.

In water, I sink deep.

But if you do me to a baby, he surely shall sleep.

Do you have any intentions on giving us our rebates?

Yeah, we're almost done with the riddles.

It's just dark, it's hard to read them.

I can read it for you if you'd like.

Well, I think we should just finish in the morning.

Everything that you told us today hasn't happened.

Yeah, we're here.

Wait, you can't be so annoyed right now.

I can't be annoyed?

No.

You're out of your mind!

Well, why are you-- this is part of the deal.

This is the rebate.

No, the deal is I stay, I get my rebate.

If you're staying, you can't yell at me like that.

It's not appropriate.

Okay, I'm not going nowhere then.

I didn't think it would get to this point, but I had tents and camping gear on hand.

Three people decided to stay the night.

Do you guys know won't be the same by pettinger, bojanic, and hooper?

Nope.

It's a royalty-free music song from the internet.

Well, play it. Let's hear it.

It goes a little something like this.

♪ these days I just can't think straight ♪
♪ I got too many angles ♪
♪ running round my brain ♪
♪ 'cause I know ♪
♪ it won't be the same ♪
♪ won't be the-- ♪

The only dr*gs that the fda will approve are dr*gs that pharmaceutical companies will spend $200 million on.

As ray began lecturing me about alternative medicine, I found myself regretting this whole plan.

Naturopaths drink urine.

They tell their patients to drink urine, and that's part of a cure, and the reason why--

So you would drink urine?

It's safer than almost anything out there.

If my naturopath told me to drink urine, I might--I might--

Like, whose urine?

Their own urine.

Drink your own urine?

Yeah.

But as the night went on, I began to see that ray, laurie, and elizabeth weren't just cheapskates looking for a deal.

In fact, money was the least of their problems.

So now the state police major crimes squad is investigating me for arson.

Still wear my wedding ring 25 years later.

Haven't talked to her in 23 years or so.

You need to be with someone else.

Your wife left you 25 years ago, and you haven't moved on yet.

How come I have to do this first?

'cause you have no fear of anything.

I have a fear of kissing people.

Hey.

Oh, laurie.

That's not laurie.

Yes, it's on laurie.

You know, I wasn't supposed to leave him.

You know, I was supposed to stay.

Um...

But you can only push a person so far.

Do you want a hug?

Thank you.

So the pharmaceutical companies don't want us to know that we can drink our own pee and that will cure every disease?

That's right. How come you got away with--

Oh! Ray!

What?

Elizabeth.

Ray. [laughs]

By the end of the night, I felt like I had made new friends.

Let's do it, man.

It'll be fun.

You wanna come?

No, I'm sleeping.

All right, so it's 4:15 a.M., and I'm gonna go play a prank on the girls' tent.

[laughs]

[laughing]

Oh, my god.

I can't believe she stayed asleep the whole way in the tent.

All right, day two.

You ready?

We're ready.

My cousin holds ice cream.

My uncle reroutes traffic.

You can find a wreath made of me up in your grandma's attic.

A wreath of me--

Santa claus is the only thing I can think of.

Lights.

Let me honest with you guys.

Yeah.

This will never end.

When I began this thing, I never thought that I would meet three people with so much free time that they'd be willing to camp out on the top of a mountain with a complete stranger just to save $13 on gas.

But I did.

And those three people turned out to be three of the most fantastic people I've ever met.

Yeah.

Over the past 24 hours, we've all gained something even more valuable than a rebate--friendship.

Amen.

I totally agree.

So what do you say we all go down this mountain as friends?

Yes.

And take that to the bank instead of the rebate?

Because to be perfectly honest, there is no rebate box.

I knew that there was no rebate box.

Well, we agree with you, the friendship that we gained here is just incredible, so let's go down the mountain.

All right, come.

I really did like these guys.

But in the end, business is business.

[upbeat music]

♪

The next day, I headed back to sevan gas to follow up with daniel.

So?

It works, but let's see how many people gonna come and pick up the rebate.

Oh, we got one.

Nathan Fielder.

Oh, that's you. Nathan.

Only one person, which is pretty good, you know?

You wanna get your rebate, huh?

Yeah, yeah.

$16.54.

I did this whole crazy thing so people wouldn't redeem the rebate.

But really in the end, what I realized is that more important than any of this is friendship.

Oh, that's right.

And doing this I made some very good friends.

Ray premus was one of them.

Who?

Ray premus.

Oh.

He was willing to drink pee.

Pee?

Yeah.

Whose pee?

No, just anyone's pee.

Anyone's pee?

He says there's no germs.

Maybe they can drink my grandson's pee.

It's very clean.

Yeah?

Why--

Because it's clean.

Why drink my pee or your pee?

You're promoting your grandson's pee.

I am promoting because grandson's pee sometimes helps.

It really helps.

Have you drank your grandson's pee?

Yeah.

Why?

I was scared.

What do you mean you were scared?

Yeah, sometimes you're scared for something.

What are you talking about?

Accident or something, you drink the grandson's pee, and it's gonna help you.

I don't understand.

Why does it help you if you drink your grandson's pee?

That's what they say, yeah.

Who says that?

My grandma.

Your grandma said--

Long time ago, yeah.

You drink your grandson's pee if you get scared?

Not grandson's. Any little kid.

You drink any--

Not over age of five, because before over age of five, it's terrible.

I have never--

I am serious about it.

But why--

Yeah, if you're scared, you drink the small child's pee.

It helps. I heard from my grandma.

You can ask your parents or grandparents.

Maybe they tell you too.

I will ask, I guess.

Thank you for giving this idea.

♪ now I'm in another time zone ♪
♪ now you're in another space ♪
♪ I was up ♪
♪ baby what would I do ♪
♪ if you'd be here today ♪