03x05 - Smokers Allowed

[bunniefuu]

My name is Nathan Fielder, and I graduated from one of Canada's top business schools with really good grades. Now I'm using my knowledge to help struggling small business owners make it in this competitive world.

This is "Nathan for You."

Life isn't easy for smokers these days as smoking bans throughout America have made the outdoors the only option for lighting up. But hit worst of all has been the bars. And proprietors like Ellen Sancer of the 1881 Club in Pasadena, California, claim that smoking restrictions have caused her profits to plummet.

We lost a lot of our customers.

Our business went down by half.

As a smoker herself, she's not happy. So I paid Ellen a visit with a way she might be able to return to those profitable glory days.

In my opinion, smokers shouldn't be treated like second-class citizens.

Absolutely.

If anything, they should be treated better than the rest of us because they're gonna die so young.

Or at least as well as the rest of them.

Right, so you think people should be allowed to smoke in here?

Yeah.

Well, I might have a way to make that happen.

Okay.

Right now, California state law prohibits smoking in a business unless it happens to be part of a theatrical production where smoking is integral to the plot. So if Ellen added a small audience section to her bar and then classified every patron as an actor in a free-form play, the 1881 Club would become the only drinking hole in town where people could legally smoke.

That could be possible.

I never thought about turning it around that way.

Well, most theater is terrible.

[laughs] I have seen a few bad ones, yeah.

Yeah, so who's to say a bar filled with smokers can't be a boundary-pushing theatrical experience?

Right.

In the eyes of the law.

It's an idea.

It's definitely an idea.

Ellen was thrilled at the prospect of bringing smokers back to her bar, so the next day, I had my team bring in a couple of theater seats to create a small audience section and then threw up a curtain to complete the theater experience. I also chose a title for the play, "Smokers Allowed" that would conveniently double to attract clientele, then put up a sign on the door informing patrons that by entering the bar, they're legally agreeing to be actors in a theatrical production. So when nighttime came, I headed to some other bars in the area to get word spreading about L.A.'s hottest new smoking destination.

You got to smoke outside here, huh?

Yeah, have you been to 1881 Club?

They allow you to smoke there.

Yeah, a loophole.

Theater law.

Yeah.

My promotional efforts seemed to be working...

All right, smokers unite.

Because, within minutes, customers began arriving at the 1881 Club for a night of legal indoor smoking. As a final precaution, I had two women recruited from the theater district who were interested in seeing an exciting new play.

So for two?

For two.

Okay, you're in luck.

We have two front-row seats still available.

Very cool.

I knew an audience would be the final piece to legitimize my production in the eyes of the law. So with the women in their seats, it was time to begin the show.

All right, welcome.

Thank you so much for coming.

So it took a lot of work to get this play off the ground.

I don't want to say too much 'cause I don't want to spoil anything, but all I'll say is, I hope you enjoy this as much as we enjoyed making it.

So without further ado, "Smokers Allowed."

[indistinct chatter]

My plan was working great. People could now smoke freely without the bar having to worry about any legal repercussions. And with the audience shoved away in the corner, hardly any customers seemed to notice they were there. Best of all, I had never seen Ellen look happier. So after an hour and 20 minutes when the bar crowd started to dwindle, I decided to close the curtain and say the play was over.

All right, so that's it.

Thank you so much for coming.

I hope you enjoyed "Smokers Allowed."

[applause]

It was a successful evening, but then something happened that I never expected. The audience actually seemed to enjoy the play.

Oh, man, they were awesome.

Yeah, yeah, they were.

They were awesome.

It's so funny 'cause it's, like, so nothing in a way but incredibly profound.

It reminded me of Sam Shepard.

I didn't really know what to make of this. After all, these ladies could be total kooks. But if what happened in there somehow had genuine theatrical value, it could be a whole new source of revenue for the 1881 Club. So later that week, I arranged a meeting with the chair of the theater department at Glendale Community College to find out if I was actually onto something with my play, "Smokers Allowed."

The guy by himself stands out to me because he looks lonely.

The couple stands out to me because it tells a story that maybe they're in a new relationship...

Uh-huh.

And I think that curiosity is what makes me want to continue to watch.

Do you think this has theatrical merit?

Yeah, you know, this is "slice of life" theater, and for that aspect, I think it's important.

Wow.

I was amazed that Jeanette saw value in my play...

It's reminiscent of playwrights like John Patrick Shanley.

And even compared it to the work of who I assumed were famous playwrights. It was clear something happened that night that I couldn't ignore. So the next day, I returned to the 1881 Club to see if Ellen was interested in adjusting our approach.

I don't know what it was, but people really responded to this thing.

I didn't get to pay much attention.

I was busy. [laughs]

I mean, you can make good money having people smoke in here.

Right.

But you could make millions with a hit play.

That's possible, yeah.

I mean, at this point, it's hard to know if the play would actually be a success, but I think we'd be idiots not to give it a sh*t.

Yeah, we should.

I was happy to have Ellen on board with my new plan, but as I spent the next day going over the footage from that night, I was no closer to figuring out what made this play so interesting. That was until I noticed a few exciting moments that may have gripped the audience. At one table, there was a couple that shared a kiss, so I knew there was a romantic story line. There was also a moment where a man showed off his skateboard deck while, at the same time, a three-person selfie was happening at the bar, the perfect climactic action scene. I didn't see it before, but this night had all the ingredients of a hit play. So I figured the surest way to guarantee success would be to re-create every moment exactly as it happened. So I spent the afternoon compiling all the audio and video footage we had from that night and then hired a team of professional transcribers to write down every word that was spoken. It was a lengthy, multi-day process, so I tried to make sure their working environment was as comfortable as possible.

Want some apple juice?

No.

Do you want some apple juice?

I'm fine, thank you.

Okay, sure.

When the transcription was finally done, I had the dialogue compiled and converted into a script and then blew up images from our footage, so I could cast professional actors to play each role. But since it was crucial that they were able to embody the exact essence of the original person, I set up auditions with my top picks for later that week. But for Ellen's role, I thought it would be simplest if she could just play herself, so I paid her a visit to see if she was right for the part.

So you're reading for the role of female bar owner.

Okay.

All right.

Do you want to just slate with your name first?

My name's Ellen.

Okay, whenever you're ready.

You did not just say that.

Yes, he did.

All right, here you go.

Thank you.

Excuse me, sweetheart.

All right, great. Well, we'll be in touch.

Okay, great.

Okay.

Thank you.

Thanks.

I thought Ellen did a pretty good job, but it was only fair to hold off on my decision until the rest of the auditions I had scheduled were done.

So you're reading for the part of bar patron number six.

Mm-hmm.

All right, so whenever you're ready.

Bud Light, please.

All right.

Cool.

That's great. You got the part.

Awesome.

As more and more actors came in, the roles were filling up nicely, and I was especially blown away by an actress who nailed the part of Ellen.

You did not just say that.

Yes, he did.

All right, here you go.

Thank you.

Excuse me, sweetheart.

Wow, that was really good.

With every role now cast, I gave all my actors a week to familiarize themselves with the script and then brought them to a church I rented for three days of intense group rehearsal over a holiday weekend.

So ready and action.

[indistinct chatter]

It seemed like most of my actors had a pretty good handle on their lines, and with a little bit of practice, they were getting closer to nailing the blocking of key action sequences that happened on the original night. But as the rehearsal went on, I became concerned about the performances of my romantic leads. Their chemistry was the glue holding this play together, but so far, I wasn't buying it. So after the rest of the group left that day, I kept the pair behind to work with them one on one.

I'd wanna, like, personally give your daughter a sibling.

Now, I know she'd be like, "Dad."

I would love to do that for her.

I love you.

I love you too.

All right, stop.

I really want this to feel like a real connection, a real love story between you guys, but I'm not getting that sense right now.

How about we try an exercise, okay?

Okay.

Is that okay?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So, Gabriel, you stand up here.

So let's try this.

Look into my eyes and say, "I love you."

Okay.

I love you.

Okay, now I'm not believing that at this point, so say it again.

Okay.

I love you.

Again.

I love you.

Again.

I love you.

Again.

I love you.

Again.

I love you.

Again.

I love you.

Again.

I love you.

Again.

I love you.

Again.

I love you.

Again.

I love you.

Again.

You have tears in your eyes, so...

Oh, really?

Yeah.

Oh, my God. Sorry.

Um, okay.

See, that-- that felt real to me.

Good.

Did it feel more real when you did it with me than when you did it with him?

Um, well, I did it more times with you.

Right, but it did?

Well, so yes, yes.

Okay, so it did, more than with him.

Okay, so...

You understand?

Yeah.

And what did you learn by watching that?

That she loves you.

Well, I mean, she's-- she's acting.

Yeah.

So that's good.

Yeah.

So that's what we want from the scene.

We want that type of connection.

Okay.

I mean, does that make sense?

Yeah.

Great. So let's, uh, let's try that.

With my expert guidance and a few more hours of rehearsal, the chemistry between them was now all too real.

I love you.

I love you too.

With the actors in good shape, my crew and I returned to the 1881 Club to prepare for the big premiere. Along with expanding the audience section to seven seats, I added a selection of branded merchandise to maximize our revenue and increased the cost of drinks to reflect theater prices. And after a bit of promotion...

It's a new play called "Smokers Allowed."

It's kind of a slice of life.

Okay.

Okay, hope to see you there.

Maybe, I don't know.

Okay.

It was finally time for opening night. - I had no idea if we'd get an audience, but as show time neared, it looked like we might have a sellout on our hands, as a line comprised mostly of family and friends of the actors began filling up the seats. Meanwhile, backstage was abuzz with my cast running lines and getting some final touch-ups. But before we could begin, I still had the tough task that I'd been putting off of breaking the news to Ellen that she didn't get the part.

So opening night.

Yeah.

Are you excited?

Yeah, I am.

I'm looking forward to it.

Before we begin, I just want to say your audition was great.

Thank you.

Unfortunately, it wasn't quite what I was looking for, for the role of female bar owner.

Right, no problem. I understand.

Okay, so that being said, I'd like to introduce you to Amy.

She's the actress that will be playing you.

All right.

And I think you'll find she really honors the character.

Amy, do you want to show her a bit of your Ellen?

Nice to see you. Can I get you a drink?

Yeah, that sounds good.

All right, so you guys want to switch out?

Okay.

Even though Ellen wouldn't be in the play, I still wanted her to enjoy the show, which is why I had a front-row seat in the audience reserved especially for her. With just a few minutes until show time, I had a final look-over to ensure that every prop and every actor was in the exact right position, and once the scene was set, we were ready to begin.

Hello, everyone.

Hello.

Thank you-- thank you so much for coming.

We're very excited.

I'm always hesitant to say too much 'cause I don't want to spoil anything, but I'll just say I hope you enjoy this play as much as we enjoyed making it.

So, without further ado, "Smokers Allowed."

[applause]

[indistinct chatter]

It was such an amazing feeling to see my play finally launch, and 20 minutes in, it was clear our rehearsals had paid off, as my actors were able to stay faithful to the original night, matching the dialogue and actions as closely as possible.

But instead I stay at home, and I watch "The Real Housewives of New York City."

Have you ever seen that?

And I could sense that the audience was really connecting with their performance. My romantic leads had finally found a chemistry that felt as genuine as the love that real-life couple they were playing shared. But all this would mean nothing if the play's climax didn't land, the guy showing off his skateboard deck while a three-person selfie happened at the same time. The audience was on the edge of their seats, craving something to put this over the top, and I'm happy to say we delivered. It was a strong first showing for the entire cast, and I was hopeful this would be a real money-maker for the 1881 Club. So once the play was done and the cast took their bows, I felt compelled to express my gratitude for everyone's support.

[applause]

Ah.

Thank you so much for coming out.

On behalf of the cast and myself, we're so amazed at this turnout.

Now even though a lot of the characters you saw in the play tonight were smoking, it's important to remember that smoking does k*ll over 400,000 Americans per year.

Another 8.6 million live with a serious illness that was caused by smoking or secondhand smoke.

So think before you light up.

Thank you so much for coming out, and good night.

[cheers and applause]

My play was a bona fide success, and I was so proud of my cast for giving such a memorable performance the audience would never forget.

I would probably not recommend it to anybody as far as saying it's a really good show.

The response was overwhelming, but the only opinion that really mattered was Ellen's. So once the bar cleared out, I nervously checked in with her to get her thoughts.

So, um... what did you think of the play?

It was okay.

It was a little boring as far as I was concerned, but...

So you didn't like it?

Not particularly.

It wasn't--it just wasn't-- they were just sitting there.

Nobody was really doing anything.

So does that mean you're not going to keep doing it here?

I doubt it.

Seriously doubt it.

Our customers come in here to watch sports, watch TV, not just to sit and watch somebody sit there smoking.

All right, well...

I appreciate your honesty.

I appreciate you trying.

Ellen saying she didn't want to do my play anymore was the ultimate blow. After all my hard work, I felt sad and rejected. But I realized that maybe there was still a way to get the feeling I was hoping for.

So...what'd you think of the play?

I thought it was brilliant.

Really?

Yeah, I really did.

And you're gonna keep doing it here?

Without a doubt.

So you really liked it?

I loved it.

Say that again.

I loved it.

Again.

I loved it.

[somber music] ♪

Say it again.

I knew this wasn't real, but her looking at me in the eyes...

I loved it.

And saying these words was strangely satisfying.

Like, I know it's fake, but it feels really good to--to hear.

It's not fake.

I loved it.

They say reality is what you make of it, so in a world that's cruel and hurtful, who's to say mine can't be nice?

Okay, thanks.

[indistinct chatter]

Well, congratulations and good luck.

[laughter]

Hit me--hit me in the back with it, dude.

Seriously, come on.

I just want to be home.

[indistinct chatter]

Neither were we.

We actually saw some guy with a PBR grip tape.

Really?

Yeah.

[indistinct chatter]

Awesome.

He was just talking about that too.

Hanging out with a mail-order bride?

[blows]

[indistinct chatter]

Oh, look, this one's doing them too.

At least you know you have a place.