02x03 - Chicken Nuggets and a Triple Homicide

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Mom". Aired: September 2013 to present.*
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"Mom" follows the life of a single mother who, after dealing with her battle with alcoholism and drug abuse, decides to restart her life in Napa Valley, California, working as a waitress and attending Alcoholics Anonymous meetings.
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02x03 - Chicken Nuggets and a Triple Homicide

Post by bunniefuu »

Here's what's going on.

I have messed up big-time.

I got us evicted, I'm broke, my father's not talking to me, my daughter's not talking to me.

I'm talking to you.

Yay...

I just need to put a roof over my family's head again, get my daughter to come back home.

I just don't know where to start.

I'm so overwhelmed. (Chuckles)

Anyway, thanks.

(clears throat) Uh, hi, I'm Bonnie. I'm an alcoholic.

Others: Hi, Bonnie.

I don't want to pile on, but you all just heard what I'm living with.

You're not helping.

Hey, I didn't interrupt when you shared. Anyway...

(quietly): Yes, you did.

I'm a glass half-full kind of gal, so I'm not gonna look at my daughter's failure as my failure. That's it. Thanks.

Can I go again?

Good meeting.

I can't wait to put you in a home.

Hi.

Beth.

Hi.

Really enjoyed your share.

Thanks.

Thanks.

I might be able to help you.

I'm a real Estate Agent.

Oh. I know you from the bus benches.

Oh, yeah, I've sat on your face.

A lot of people have.

Anyway, I have a rental property that's a little ways out of town, but I think it would be perfect for you and your family.

Is it free?

No, but the owners are very motivated.

That's code for “something's wrong with it”"

What, is it built on a toxic waste dump or something?

Of course not. And if you have a little bit of time, I could drive you out there right now.

You could see for yourself.

Okay.

Okay.

We would've been okay with toxic waste, right?

Absolutely.

We're done having kids. What do we care?

So that's three bedrooms upstairs.

Plus, the office down here could easily be a fourth.

Wow.

Yeah.

Subzero appliances in the kitchen, two-car garage, and your nearest neighbor is a mile away so you'll have oodles of privacy.

Where was this place when I was cooking meth?

Beth, the house is fantastic, but it has got to be way out of our price range.

Even at $900 a month?

What, did somebody die here?

A few people.

Let me show you the patio.

Built-in barbecue, perfect for entertaining.

Yeah, great. Back it up a bit.

Now, when you say a few people d*ed, what are we talking, old age?

Triple homicide.

Pretty messy.

But... when they pulled up the bloody carpet, look what they found... hardwood floors!

That's the real crime, hiding floors like these.

Oh, my God.

Can you give us a sec?

(quietly): This is an incredible break.

We have got to take it. We've got to take it right now.

Are you crazy?

People were m*rder*d here.

And we cannot bring them back. But... we can honor their memory every time we fire up that Jacuzzi.

No. Absolutely not.

It's too creepy.

What-what was it, like, a drug deal gone bad?

Were they criminals, had it coming?

No, a Sunday school teacher, his wife, their teenage son, and the family dog.

Aw, the dog?

Not the dog.

Yes, terrible tragedy.

So what do you think?

I really need an answer right now because I have other families who are interested.

No, you don't.

Come here.

Come here.

Do you want Violet to move back in with us?

Of course.

This'll do it.

A beautiful place we can call our own.

Yeah, but...

And it's not like there's gonna be another m*rder here.

She's right.

Statistically speaking, this is safer than a non-m*rder house.

(sighs)

Beth, a good mother would never put her children in this kind of environment.

So that's a no?

You didn't let me finish.

Mom - 02x03 Chicken Nuggets and a Triple Homicide

Forget the TV commercials. When you love your cats, you don't feed 'em out of a can or a box.

Everything I eat's out of a can or a box.

Well, not while you're living with your aunt Marjorie.

Hit it.

(whirring)

Whoa, this is awesome!

Hey, we're back!

Roscoe, I brought you some chicken nuggets.

See? Box.

I'll make you a bowl of spaghetti later.

Thanks.

How was the meeting?

Terrific. And... good news, we found a place to live.

Oh. Really?

Not just a place.

A four-bedroom, furnished house out in Browns Valley.

Oh, wow.

How can you afford that?

We got an incredible deal because...

(whispering): a family was m*rder*d there.

Oh.

And their dog.

Aw...

But the best part is, we will be out of your hair by the end of the week.

Okay. Well, you're not really in my hair.

But you said we were a huge pain in the ass.

I said that about you.

But you and Roscoe are always welcome here.

Thanks, Marjorie. You're the best.

But... I've got to put my family back together.

I understand.

I'll miss you.

I'll miss you, too.

I'm a little sad about all this.

So if you'll excuse me.

What a great lady.

Yeah, I don't buy it.

There's something wrong with her.

Something's wrong with you.

Did you ever consider that there might be people in this world who are simply kind and compassionate?

I used to think that.

And then I turned nine.

Great. You win. You're dead inside.

And don't you forget it.

Now call Violet and tell her we got a home.

Where you going?

I, uh...

I have some errands to run.

If you're going to the drugstore, we're out of toothpaste, toilet paper...

Oh, my God.

Clearly I'm lying.

Yeah, he's showing up for work regular.

How the hell would I know if he's using?

Listen, my friend, I just run a body shop.

You're his Parole Officer.

Get off your fat ass, come down here, and make him pee in a cup.

(knocking)

Hello.

Okay, I got to go, Susan.

Sorry I called you fat.

This is a surprise.

I just thought I'd stop by and see how you're feeling.

Doctor says the ticker's all good.

All systems go.

Oh. Nice.

Mm-hmm.

Mmm.

So what's going on?

I just thought we needed to discuss a few things.

I didn't want to do it on the phone.

Okay.

It's about our daughter.

Okay.

I assume she told you what went down.

She did. And I just thought you might've been a little rough on her.

You're kidding, right?

Who skips out in the middle of the night to b*at the rent?

Do I have to remind you about that cute little bungalow we had up near Eureka? 1976.

We took a bunch of acid, made love on the kitchen floor, and ran off like a couple of thieves.

(laughing): That was not me.

Really?

No.

(laughing)

Oh. Um...

The point is...

Christy knows she made a mistake and she'll never do it again.

Yeah. Terrific.

So in the meantime, she and the kids are living like Gypsies?

Actually, she found a really nice house out in the country, and it wouldn't be a bad idea if you were to visit and make peace.

I don't know. Let me think about it.

Well, don't think too long, if you ever want to have your own kitchen floor memories.

Really?

You're trading sex for forgiveness?

Would you rather pay cash?

Hi, Violet, it's mom.

How's it going at your new place?

(people shouting, hip-hop music playing loudly) Sweet. I love it here.

What's all that noise?

(siren wailing) Oh, I'm just watching TV.

Okay, well, listen, I-I wanted you to know that, um, I found a beautiful house out in the country, fully furnished, Jacuzzi.

Really?

Yep. If you wanted to come back, you'd have your own bedroom and bathroom.

No reason you couldn't invite your friends to come visit you there, throw some parties.

Sound good?
(people shouting, dog barking over phone)

Violet?

Hello?

(siren blaring, dog barking)

Thank you, God! Thank you, God!

This refrigerator is huge. I mean, you could put a body in here.

Why would you say that?

Because it's big?

Well... you couldn't fit a body in there.

You know, you'd have to chop it up.

Please stop talking.

k*ller house, guys.

You mean nice house.

Yeah.

Then you should say that.

Remind me to play poker with you.

Hey, can you keep an eye on Roscoe while we go into town for groceries?

Absolutely. I give you my word I will not get high.

Violet, can you keep an eye on Roscoe while we go into town for groceries?

Yeah. I got it.

I'm so happy to have you back.

I know.

Hey, look what I found wrapped around the doghouse.

Hmm...

Why would there be police tape wrapped around a doghouse?

Maybe he was a crime-fighting dog like Scooby-Doo.

Oh, sure, that explains it.

Christy. Check it out.

Pickles in a barrel.

(gasps) Cool. Should we get some?

No.

I just dropped my gum in it.

Howdy.

Howdy.

Howdy.

Look at us... saying “Howdy.”

Haven't seen you gals around here before.

Yeah. We're, uh, just moving into the neighborhood.

(quietly): “Gals.” I love it.

It's so much better than “b*tches.”

Where you living?

Just up the road a piece.

“A piece”?

When in Rome.

We're, uh, renting the white clapboard house at the end of Magnolia.

The Williams place?

I guess.

You do know what happened there?

We know. We also know we got hardwood floors and a Jacuzzi.

Anyway, it was a long time ago, and we're just really grateful to live in such a beautiful home.

Actually, it was only nine months ago, and they never caught the man who did it.

What's that you say?

Well, the papers called him “The Fisherman” on account of him gutting everybody.

Gutting?

And filleting.

Filleting?

He did everything but bread 'em and dip 'em in tartar sauce.

Eh, that's enough jibber-jabber.

Let me ring you up.

“Jibber-jabber”"

It's not cute anymore!

(inhales)

Sacrifices I make for my kid.

(crunching footsteps)

Hello?

Roscoe? Violet?

Weird.

(inhales)

(crunching footsteps)

Hello?

(crunching footstep)

Curious.

Hello?

Anybody out here?

Oh, God! Oh, God, get off me! Oh!

Baxter?

Are you okay? No! I just walked through a spiderweb!

Hey.

Hey.

Everything all right?

(gulps, exhales)

Great.

Here, let me take that from you.

Thanks.

Hey, were you guys just walking around outside in the backyard?

No. Why?

Nothing. Just thought I heard somebody out there.

It's starting.

Stop it.

How high are you?

No more than usual.

Just 'cause he's stoned doesn't mean he was imagining it.

It usually does.

Did you see anyone?

Hang on. Don't want to blow up a fart from the inside.

(exhales): Ah...

Just heard someone.

That's it. I don't want to stay here tonight.

Would you relax?

But what if it was the Fisherman?

Who's the Fisherman?

He's the madman who m*rder*d all the people who lived in this house.

All of them?

And their dog.

Aw.

Violet and Roscoe cannot know about this.

I wish I didn't know about this.

(thunder crashing)

Hey, would you think less of me if I left right now?

Yes.

How much less?

All right, I want you both to listen to me.

There is no one out there.

There is nothing to be afraid of except what's in our own heads.

I guess you're right.

And I guarantee you it'll go a long way toward showing your father you're not a total screwup.

You're right.

If I run away from this place...

I'm running away from happiness.

That's my girl.

(pounding on door)

Would you mind getting that?

I do mind.

Baxter, you're the man.

Disagree.

(pounding on door)

Come on, we'll all get it.

If that's the Fisherman out there, I just want you to know... you were a terrible mother.

Hello?

Who's there?

Hey!

(all scream)

Whoa. You trying to give me another heart att*ck?

Oh! Daddy!

I'm so glad it's you!

Oh, I'm sorry I scared you.

I was outside knocking and knocking, and then I just came in the back.

Violet: What's going on?

Nothing. It's... just Grandpa.

So... how'd you even know we were here?

Your mom told me... said I should come by and straighten things out with you.

Oh.

I'm sorry about that “terrible mom” cr*ck.

Eh, it's okay.

I don't listen to you.

Anyway, I'm sorry I was so hard on you.

I love you.

I love you, too.

Just promise me you won't run out of your house in the middle of the night because things aren't going your way.

I promise.

(pounding on door)

(thunder crashes)

Run!

(several screaming)

(knocking)

Funny story.

I can't believe you guys rented a house where people were m*rder*d.

Wait'll you have no credit rating.

Are you, uh... gonna go back to your friend's place tomorrow?

No, I think I'll stick around for a while.

Really?

You need me, mom.

I do.

I say we get a couple of g*ns and go back.

Are you serious?

The guy had a fishhook... who wins that showdown?

Okay, I just tucked in Alvin, Roscoe and Baxter in the guest room.

Thanks, Marjorie.

Everybody snuggled and cozy out here?

Yeah. We're great.

Okay, see you all in the morning.

Night, Marjorie. Night.

You know, I'm sorry things didn't work out at your new house, but I got to admit, I'm happy you're back... I missed you.

We missed you, too.

And, Bonnie, I know we give each other a hard time, but... my life is better with you in it.

Thanks, Marjorie. Same here.

Night.

Night.

I take back everything I ever said about that woman.

She's an angel.

I don't know what we would do without her.
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