02x02 - The Vantasner Danger Meridian

Episode transcript for the TV show "Patriot". Aired: November 2015 to November 2018.*
Watch/Buy Amazon


"Patriot" revolves around an intelligence officer, who is tasked with de-escalating Iran’s nuclear ambitions. To do this, he must enter into a "non-official cover" as a mid-level employee at a industrial piping firm in Milwaukee.
Post Reply

02x02 - The Vantasner Danger Meridian

Post by bunniefuu »

EDWARD (OVER PHONE): He'll be okay.

- He got hit by a car on a bike.
- (SHUDDERS)

I'm going to the hospital now.

He did that on purpose.

Eddie, he chose to do
that on purpose instead.

Instead of what?

Instead of whatever he's doing.

I'm going to the hospital.

I'll call from there.

- Thanks, guys.
- Sure.

(SIGHS)

GLENN: I'm Sergeant Glenn Purdue

announcing through this
previously open door

my right to exercise
a plain sight search.

(QUIETLY): f*ck.

- I'm sorry. Did you say "f*ck"?
- No, I just said, "Come on in."

- (QUIETLY): f*ck.
- Are you the occupant?

I... am. No.

- What?
- Wh... what?

Well, you said both.

Oh, I'm presently occupying
this space, in these moments,

but I am not the occupant.

Why are you occupying this
space in these moments?

I... work for La-Z-Boy,
of course. (CHUCKLES)

- La-Z-Boy?
- I am the head La-Z-Boy.

- You're the head La-Z-Boy?
- Well, I'm the head of the area.

Uh, we design, manufacture,
sell and deliver

the finest recliners in the world.

- Did you see that truck outside?
- I did.

Cool. Well, I'm just
finishing up a delivery

and a on-site recliner walk-through.

- How did it go?
- It was cool.

A very cool delivery.

All right. Cool.

All right.

Yup.

(EXHALES)

- Hello.
- ALICE: Hello?

Are you, um...

Can I ask you a few
questions? Do you mind?

Do you know a John Lakeman?

I...

(EXHALES SHARPLY)

I'm sorry.

John Lakeman took my calming dog...

it's likely... Charlie,
for a period of time.

I'm still managing a
soaring anxiety level here.

Vigorous exhalations
help regulate my stress.

Okay.

Well, I was just saying...

(EXHALES SHARPLY)

I was just saying, no, I can't help you.

Do you live in this complex?

Uh, do you know the
occupant of this apartment?

I don't, I'm afraid.

- He airhorned me.
- What?

John Lakeman.

- What does that mean?
- He...

airhorned my head.

What does he do for you, your dog?

If I can ask.

He helps maintain low
anxiety environments

and keeps me from suffering levels

of debilitating depression

and spontaneously harming
myself or crying. (CHUCKLES)

Okay.

- Thank you.
- Yeah.

GLENN: John Lakeman.

He's the guy who called and
said he brought Charlie back.

He called from Luxembourg last night

and wanted to talk to Charlie.

- Charlie? Your dog?
- Yeah, Charlie.

- Weird guy.
- Yeah, it was a weird conversation.

That's what I'm saying.
And check this out.

This is a request to interview
from Interpol last week.

One of the names?

John Lakeman, works at McMillan.

You think this is the guy
from the evidence room?

I think he's the guy
who took Charlie, man.

And I think it's all
part of the same thing.

Who takes another guy's dog?

- JEFF: Also my leg.
- GLENN: What?

- My leg.
- What about it?

I'm just saying, taking
my leg was f*cked up, too.

GLENN: Totally. That's...
that's what I'm saying.

This is f*cked up.

There's a whole thing
going on here, I'm saying.

An international business firm,

homicide, Europe, Interpol.

Man, this is bigger than
an evidence room as*ault.

John Lakeman.

He's not in Milwaukee,

and he isn't with his regular
traveling party in Luxembourg.

I called McMillan.

He seems to have just disappeared.

Hey, we solve this,

maybe we can get out
of the evidence room.

Let's find John Lakeman.

We're three good cops, right?

Once upon a time.

No "once upon a time."

Right here, right now.

Long as we help each other along, right?

GLENN: Yeah.

Long as I have Charlie, I can do it all.

ALL: Misfit Toys.

(WINDOW ROLLS DOWN)

TOM: Alice.

ALICE: I'm sorry. I
don't know what to do.

TOM: Well, of course you don't, honey.

But I do, and it's gonna be okay.

Honey, let me drive. Get some rest.

TOM: Looking back,

you might want to ask if we'd...

... well, if we'd quickly
passed the point of no return.

Next.

But that's not how we
assess events such as...

You can always return. But
what do you come back with?

And does what you bring back

justify the toll and the breaches

and the transgressions and the occasions

you didn't go by the
letter of the thing?

So that's not the line we
talk about when we assess.

WOMAN: How do you assess?

We assess impending
events in terms of danger.

In terms of the danger to
the viability of the task

and to the men and women who perform it.

And the line we try to bear
in mind, in stages like this,

is the line past which
danger, of both those sorts,

increases exponentially.

It's called The Vantasner
Danger Meridian, this line.

That's the term we use

to explain conditions of encroaching

and encompassing grave danger.

The Vantasner Danger Meridian.

You know, son...

What?

- Did you have to?
- Have to what?

The doobies.

The what?

(SIGHS) In Amsterdam.

You know I know about that.

That didn't pass me by

that you couldn't pass
the McMillan drug test.

I know you were smoking
on the weed then.

I've been meaning to talk
to you about that, but...

we've had these other things.

Yeah, we've had some other things.

- Doobies.
- Stop. That's annoying.

Well, that's what started all this,

in Amsterdam, 'cause you
were smoking on the weed.

In Amsterdam, obviously.

That's what started all this?

That... that's the jellyfish?

The what?

It's when you try to solve a problem,

you just make two more.

Why's it called that?

Jellyfish.

Got to be careful when you're
trying to get rid of them.

You try to spear 'em or something,

they just turn into two jellyfish.

How do you know this about jellyfish?

And, yeah, it is that,

'cause you're smoking on
the weed, in Amsterdam,

which your mother and
I have talked to you

about that several times, about
what that does to your brain.

You're smoking on it,

then you have to borrow Dennis's urine,

then you have to s*ab him,

then Dennis checks the
f*cking newspaper the next day,

then this detective
shows up in Milwaukee.

He also called me.

- TOM: Exactly.
- Thanks.

Well, that's just another jellyfish.

That's another jellyfish situation.

We just made more.
Now they're everywhere.

There wouldn't be any investigation

if you guys had given
me the right information

- on the private flights.
- Well...

Which weren't very private, by the way.

That was s... someone at the Bureau.

Ah, okay.

Also giving the bag to the wrong guy.

That was problematic, too, so...

Stop fighting.

We're gonna be okay.

We're all gonna be okay.

(SIGHS)

("SURE sh*t" BY BEASTIE BOYS PLAYING)

♪ 'Cause you can't, you
won't, and you don't stop ♪

♪ Well, you can't, you
won't, and you don't stop ♪

♪ Mike D, come and
rock the sure sh*t ♪

♪ I've got the brand-new doo-doo ♪

♪ Guaranteed like Yoo-hoo ♪

♪ I'm on like Dr.
John, yeah, Mr. Zu Zu ♪

♪ I'm a newlywed, I'm
not a divorcée, yeah ♪

♪ And everything I do is
funky like Lee Dorsey ♪

♪ Well, it's The Taking of
the Pelham One Two Three ♪

♪ If you want a doo-doo
rhyme, then come see me ♪

♪ I've got the savoir faire
with the unique rhymin' ♪

♪ I keep it on and on, it's
never quittin' time and ♪

♪ Strictly handheld is the style I go ♪

♪ Never rock the mic
with the pantyhose ♪

♪ I strap on my ear goggles
and I'm ready to go ♪

♪ 'Cause at the boards is
the man they call the Mario ♪

♪ Pull up at the function
and you know I Kojak ♪

♪ To all the party people
that are on my bozack ♪

♪ I've got more action
than my man John Woo ♪

♪ And I've got mad hits
like I was Rod Carew, yeah ♪

♪ Because you can't, you
won't, and you don't stop ♪

♪ Because you can't, you
won't, and you don't stop ♪

♪ Oh, well, you can't, you
won't, and you don't stop ♪

♪ I keep my underwear up
with a piece of elastic ♪

♪ Use a bullshit mic
that's made out of plastic ♪

♪ To send my rhymes
out to all the nations ♪

♪ Like Ma Bell, I got
the ill communication ♪

♪ 'Cause you can't, you
won't, and you don't stop ♪

♪ 'Cause you can't, you
won't, and you don't stop ♪

♪ Well, you can't, you
won't, and you don't stop ♪

♪ Keep on and rockin'
the sure sh*t. ♪

(SIGHS)

(INDISTINCT RADIO TRANSMISSION)

Papiers du véhicule et permis
de conduire, s'il vous plaît.

I'm sorry. I know very little French.

MYNA: Est-ce qu'on est
près du parc Disney ?

OFFICER: Est-ce que vous
avez acheté un Pass Famille ?

Vous avez acheté un Pass Famille ?

Non.

OFFICER: Step out of the car.

Move away from the car.

Stop.

sh**t yourself.

sh**t yourself. You're
going to Disneyland Paris

and you're not purchasing
the all-inclusive family pass?

You might as well
blow your own head off.

With the all-inclusive,

you don't have to get there this early.

You breeze through the express entrance

and you get access to the
FASTPASS lines at every ride.

(LAUGHS): Oh. I didn't know that.

Yeah. It's good.

It's good at Frontierland,
Adventureland.

I don't remember if it's
accepted at Main Street, U.S.A.

Guillaume? (SPEAKS FRENCH)

GUILLAUME: Oui.

OFFICER: Yeah, it's
accepted at every venue.

(TOM LAUGHS)

Now, there are three
different FASTPASS packages.

I... I got the FASTPASS Carte
Blanche, which doesn't include

FASTPASS access to concessions,
which is why I'm suggesting

you... you purchase the all-inclusive...

- The Cordon Bleu.
- (CHUCKLING): Yeah.

The food lines are worse than
the wait for the rides, man,

and you're gonna want to sh**t yourself.

(CHUCKLES) Well, I
will inquire about that.

Can I give this back to you?

Please.

Your left rear brake light is out.

- Please get that fixed.
- For sure. For sure.

And thank you for the
express thing advice.

FASTPASS. Cordon Bleu.

Got it, yeah.

(CHUCKLES) Thank you.

(INDISTINCT RADIO TRANSMISSION)

(PANTING)

(CHUCKLES): Holy sh*t.

(TOM LAUGHS)

(TOM SIGHS)

(BREATHING HEAVILY)

Uh, that... that was a Monday.

10:00 a.m. June, 2002.

The last time I did cocaine.

Leslie.

(CLEARS THROAT)

I'm Leslie Claret.

And the last time I did cocaine...

was when that guy was talking.

You see, I had, uh, I had some

in the little crook, um, area...

my, uh, index-thumb crook area here,

and, uh, yeah.

I... I was pretending to listen to him.

I... I was...

I was in this... this listening posture,

but it was just so that I could
do cocaine while I was here,

because I've been having...

I'm going through some...

very confusing times.

You can't do that in here, Leslie.

I was doing fine. You know?

Feeling good. Getting it done.

And then this... this...
this major a-hole, Lakeman,

he sh*t me in the face.

We've all made an agreement

never to bring dr*gs
into this environment.

Absolutely. I... Absolutely.

I agree with you, every word. (SNIFFS)

Did... (SCOFFS)

Did you just do cocaine, Leslie?

A... again, while I was talking to you?

Yes.

Are you doing more now while
I'm speaking to you now?

- Yes, I am.
- Okay. You have to leave.

Fine. (SNIFFS)

You know, it doesn't
work, anyway, ultimately.

So... (SIGHS) see ya.

Later, losers.

- I'm loving life!
- (DOORKNOB CLICKS)

Loving it!

(DOOR OPENS)

Morning.

Hey.

Last night... that was intense.

Yeah.

How did you sleep?

I made you coffee.

Oh, thanks.

I sit with you for some time.

You don't have to talk.

Is it too warm?

(SIGHS) No, it's really good.

I didn't see this last night.

Have you been hurt by men?

A little bit.

Who hurt you, Dennis the Menace?

I call you like this

because everywhere you go

there are little troubles.

Little troubles like these...

In your report you failed
to name your assailant.

I didn't know my assailant.

It's mine, you know?

This is your shirt?

Oui. It's mine.

It's comfortable?

Yeah, it is.

Do you know why it's comfortable,

Dennis the Menace?

It's very large on you

and reminds you

that someone more powerful
than you cares about you,

and it makes you feel safe with me.

Who hurt you?

It wasn't on purpose.

Your att*ck?

Well, i... it wasn't an att*ck.

I... I just was in the wrong
place at the wrong time.

You know,

there are departments here

who believe you k*lled Hector Barros.

I don't believe this.

Hey, man.

Whoa, okay, man.

I have you.

I protect you from them.

Tu parle français ? You speak French?

Yes.

Okay.

He's your friend?

No, no. I was, I was saying,
in the story you were telling

that if a woman lies to protect someone,

that it would be worth it
if they were... best friends.

Okay.

Okay, okay.

My Dennis the Menace.

Shh...

Some more coffee?

Yeah, a little bit.

(LAUGHTER)

(LAUGHTER)

♪ ♪

(CAMERA CLICKS)

EDWARD: Dad. You've got to
get that money here, Dad.

They've been waling on me.

I can't breathe. I can't breathe.

And they're trying to get
me to say sh*t about America.

(SHOUTING IN FARSI)

Ah! f*ck you!

- (SHOUTING IN FARSI)
- Ah!

That's...

- f*ck.
- What?

- (EDWARD SHOUTING OVER VIDEO)
- That's Dennis.

Dennis what?

That's Dennis in the kidnap thing.

Why the f*ck would Dennis kidnap Edward?

He didn't. He's not kidnapped... Edward.

What are you, what are you
talking about? Did what?

They don't have any
manpower left to take Ed.

They were down to
using this big soft guy

to follow the puppeteer.

He cried when I was cracking
him in the face, this guy.

There's no one left to take Ed.

EDWARD (OVER VIDEO): Ah! f*ck you!

That looks like Reservoir Dogs, too.

He made that with Dennis.

- They do that.
- They do what?


Make weird videotapes to problem-solve.

- Why would he take himself?
- To get the money.

Why?

Probably to throw it in the river.

Why?

So you'll leave me alone.

(ALICE AND MYNA TALKING IN DISTANCE)

So what do we do now?

TOM: We wait to see if having
her gets us the bag back.

Wait till she contacts you.

Meanwhile, go get a g*n.

Cantar Walley arrives later today, son.

I'm going back to Luxembourg.

I have to deal with another jellyfish.

Guy with the girl's name...
he's arriving... soon.

The police have filed a
request to interview him.

- There today.
- What does he know?

If he gave it some thought, a lot.

(TOM SCOFFS)

I didn't think we'd still
be here, still doing this.

I thought if we just
d*ck Cheney'd his ass,

that would be that.

- Yeah.
- f*ck.

Unsustainable.

What?

It's unsustainable.

We keep making conflict.

You called your mom.
That made two additional.

Now she'll be here, with you and me.

What's the other one?

I had to have her picked up from
the airport in Luxembourg City,

whisked here, so she
doesn't leave tracks, so...

So... so what?

I... I had to pick one of the
McMillan Men, one of your guys,

and I had to tell them all about it.

Which one did you pick?

- Headless guy.
- Why?

I... I thought it would
freak out your mom, I guess.

Is she gonna stay in this?

In the short-term?
Can we count on Alice?

She lit out before.

Is she gonna stay with the girl?

I don't know.

If I was her... no.

If I was her, I'd...

leave before the guy
who's me in this story

walked over there and tried to touch me.

- Stay.
- (WHINES)

Come on, Charlie, I
have to do something.

Good boy.

("TOO MUCH ON MY MIND"
BY THE KINKS PLAYING)

♪ There's too much on my mind ♪

♪ There's too much on my mind ♪

♪ And I can't sleep at night ♪

♪ Thinking about it ♪

♪ I'm thinking of the time ♪

♪ There's too much on my mind ♪

♪ It seems there's more to life ♪

♪ Than just to live it ♪

♪ There's too much on my mind... ♪

I know your mom, Myna.

I traveled with your mom once.

She was sweet to me.

Why did you hurt my aunt?

Because...

they're trying to stop
something worse from happening.

Something worse than hurting my aunt?

Yes.

Are you going to hurt me?

- No.
- Why not?

Because there is nothing
worse than hurting you.

If they have to hurt
you to help the world,

then the world's too broken already,

and it should blow up, and who cares.

They'll do something different.

They'll probably do something
different and get hurt.

They'll get hurt?

Yeah. Probably.

♪ About it ♪

♪ There's too much on my mind. ♪

(DOG BARKING IN DISTANCE)

WOMAN: Can we talk for a moment
about the thr*at he posed?

Cantar Walley?

Yes. The full extent
of the thr*at he posed.

This is a charismatic,
monumentally intelligent...

Every year, the Secret
Service reprimands or fires

greater than 300 agents for... well,

flirting with women at their posts.

They argue that the job
has inherent sex appeal,

that the suits, the shades, et cetera,

draw women to them.

We were discussing the
intelligence of Cantar.

So am I. He requires his protection unit

to wear sexless, stupid-looking suits.

TOM: They're called the Action Boys,

and they're required
to look ridiculous...

Action Boys, advance.

... so they can focus
intensively on their task...

protect Cantar Walley with their lives

with no distraction.

He even has an elite unit, which
protects him at his quarters,

which he requires, additionally,
to have bad haircuts.

♪ ♪

These are the Dutch Boys.

WOMAN: That's pretty smart.

TOM: Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

You want this guy to have ICBMs?

(SONG BEGINS)

The janky plan begins today.

Today I start to make my way

to a French g*n.

The Iranians,

they get forty 'cause he's a dignitary.

They get all the g*ns they can carry,

and there's almost no other way

to get a g*n today

in France.

(SONG ENDS)

(PHONE LINE RINGING)

MYNA: Oui.

(INDISTINCT SHOUTING ON VIDEO)

- (BLOW LANDS)
- (GRUNTING)

(INDISTINCT SHOUTING)

(SPEAKING FARSI)

Ah! f*ck you, man.

(GROANING)

- Turn around.
- What?

Turn around.

(GRUNTING)

That was great.

That was awesome.

Can you hurry it up?
Are you in the frame?

No, I'm not. I'm way out of it.

- You sure?
- Yeah.

(SHOUTS)

(GROANING)

No!

(SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)

Can't fight no longer.

(VIDEO STOPS)

My ransom thing is
totally going to work.

Then I'm gonna toss that f*cking money

in whatever the name
of the river is here.

Cool.

Yeah, it is cool.

My girlfriend's coming out,
too... with my son, tonight.

We're going to chill in Europe,

now that this bullshit's almost over.

You have a son?

Totally. I haven't
seen him for two weeks.

Do you have kids?

Yeah. Twins.

But, I haven't seen them
for two weeks either,

because I helped your family out and...

f*cked my whole life up.

Yeah. Hey.

Ransom. River. Over.

Cool.

If it's over, I can get home.

'Cause my wife Audrey and I,

we talked about having more kids...

who aren't twins.

Who I could... love,

you know...

- Sounds good.
- ... tuck 'em in and... stuff.

Just be there for 'em.

Wait, y... you don't tuck them in?

What's that?

The twins you have now,
you don't tuck them in?

No. No.

Then I'd have weird dreams.

(BELL CHIMING)

(PHONE LINE RINGING)

- EDWARD: Hello?
- JOHN: Hey.

- John.
- Yeah.

What are you doing?

EDWARD: Just... being kidnapped.

Cool.

They let you keep your phone?

Um, yeah, but they, uh,
they monitor my calls.

- How?
- Through mechanisms.

- What kind?
- Technology.

Okay.

To make sure that I
don't call the police.

You're in a hot tub?

I can hear the bubbles and
sh*t. The little engine thing.

Um...

JOHN: I know you're not kidnapped.

Can you come here?

Where?

Paris. And bring my guitar.

I need you.

Is Dennis there?

Hey, man.

Hey.

- How you doing?
- Pretty good.

Ed, I'll send you the address
of the place we're staying.

EDWARD: O... okay. So this
thing is still going on?

JOHN: Yeah, it's still going on.

EDWARD: Where are you?
What are you doing?

JOHN: Just getting ready
to jump off something.

Something high?

JOHN: What?

Is it high?

Yeah.

Land on your butt, man.

That's what people think.

What?

People think that.

It's the worst place, though, to land.

Because, at certain
heights, your coccyx snaps

and pierces your kidney,
liver, and then your heart.

f*ck. That's like an organ kebab.

Yeah.

Did you learn that in
"jumping off sh*t" class?

Yeah.

So what do you land on?

The organ that's best protected,

by an encasement of bone.

- What, your head?!
- Yeah.

You're supposed to land
on your f*cking head?!

Yeah, at certain heights.

I mean, your shoulder first,

then the head takes the secondary thing.

Yeah.

All right, I have to go.

I'll see you.

Okay, so this isn't done?

No.

Okay... I'll see you.

f*ck.

("COSMIC CHARLIE" BY THE
GRATEFUL DEAD PLAYING)

♪ Cosmic Charlie ♪

♪ How do you do? ♪

♪ Truckin' in style
along the avenue ♪

♪ Dum, de-dum, de-do-da-lee-do ♪

♪ Go on home ♪

♪ Your mama's calling you ♪

♪ Calico Cal ♪

♪ You come tell me the news ♪

♪ Calamity's waiting ♪

♪ For a way to get to her ♪

♪ Rosey red and electric blue ♪

♪ I bought you a paddle ♪

♪ For your paper canoe ♪

♪ Say you'll come back ♪

♪ When you can ♪

♪ Whenever your airplane ♪

♪ Happens to land ♪

♪ Maybe I'll be back here, too ♪

♪ It all depends ♪

♪ On what's with you. ♪
Post Reply