01x04 - Episode Four

Garry?

This is not the only world, there are millions.

And in every single one, he's tried to kill us.

The place we nicked the halogen lights from.

That's the same clue as before.

Someone really wants us to get into that school.

What if there's another Milo out there and he's trying to help us?

( Door crashes open )

( Crowd shout )

They're through. Go, Milo!

No. I'm not going anywhere without Danny.

He chose to stay behind with Kate.

He was willing to die for that choice.

Are you?

Come on!

( He grunts )

( Swords clash )

( Grunting )

( Yelling )

That's what you get for taking my f*cking hat!

( He groans )

What the f*ck you looking at?!

Nothing, just tent pegs.

Definitely not looking at you.

Not looking at you.

I think maybe I'm not home after all.

♪ Your brains are dripping down, boy... ♪

Hey.

Pete?

We met?

No, no...

Oh...

What you eating?

Just a salami thing. It's nothing special.

I haven't seen salami in a long, long time.

OK. Oh...

Whoa... Hand it over.

You're mugging me for salami?

While we're at it, everything else he's got on him.

Clothes, wallet...

The lot.

( He yells )

Come back!

( He pants )

Woo!

Hi. Sorry, there are some... ruffians trying to take my clothes if you wish to... arrest them.

Right.

Yeah.

Excuse me...

Right, yeah, where are you going, cos they're... they're that way...?

Hands behind your back.

You're talking to me?

Hands behind your back!

All right, I think, think you've made a mistake, I've being running away from the criminals. I'm the victim.

You are under arrest. Don't make this harder than it needs to be.

I think you've got the wrong person, mate.

Well, you're Milo Edwards... aren't you?

Uh, I mean...

( He groans )

Listen, I, er...

I hate to kick things off like this, but I do very much need to poo.

Biological necessity.

There it is, just something I need to do.

Where's Danny Gates?

I don't know.

Honestly, I don't know.

Now, will you... tell me what this is all about?

What's your angle?

Are you so arrogant that you thought that you could just walk into a police station and walk right out again?

Or did you want to be caught?

New idea - unless I make this face...

...let's just assume I have no idea what you're talking about. Hmm?

Quantum genocide.

Quantum... quantum what?

They coined the term especially for you, for what you and Danny Gates have done.

Right, listen, just listen. I'm from another reality, and me and Danny, we met another Danny, who, who said something about Goldenmire and...

So, you admit you know about Goldenmire.

It's a name I heard. I don't know anything.

Just give us Danny, and there's even a chance you won't hang.

(Hang?)

Hang? As in, hanged? With a rope and sh1t?

No, no, I mean, that's crazy... You can't hang people.

I would really rather not do this. Just confess.

I can't, I don't even know what you think I've done!

I am not messing about here, son.

You've got the wrong Milo, I swear...

Oh, right.

That's why we've found all these photographs in your pocket.

Photos of every reality you and Danny have visited.

They're not mine, they belong to another Milo.

Oh, and I guess this notebook, that belongs to another Milo too, does it?

A precise list of locations, each in a different reality.

That not yours either, eh?

You have to believe me. Please... Please..

( Hugh yells )

Gran?

Gran, is that you?

Oh, Milo.

Gran, how long have I been here?

Thank you, I'm so hungry.

The service in here - pretty terrible.

( Breathless )

( He grunts )

( He pants )

I'm not your Milo.

You can see that, right?

They say you won't tell them where Danny Gates is.

Gran... Other Milo's gran, you're certainly not mine, you have to believe me.

I'm from another reality.

Another Milo sent me here, trying to... set me up...

Stop it. Just stop it and listen.

Tell them it was Danny.

Tell them it was all Danny's idea.

Tell them he's the one that stole the wristbands, he's the one that wouldn't let you come back home.

Tell them you had no choice.

People want revenge!

If you're going to stand a chance of staying alive, you've got to blame it on Danny!

( She cries )

Please, Gran. Please...

You have to believe me, Gran...

My name is Milo Edwards.

I hereby confess, of my own free will, that I stole two wristband devices belonging to Callum Stevens.

Using these devices, I've spent the past six years travelling through alternate realities.

The stealing of the wristband devices was... Danny Gates's idea, and it was his idea to continue travelling through other realities, even though I asked him not to.

I am not to blame for this.

Danny is.

(You b*st*rd.)

You b*st*rd, you left me to f*cking die!

You left me to f*cking die!

No! No! He's lying! I swear he's lying! I'm not your Danny!

I'm not him!

( Objects smash )

I'm not him, I'm not your Danny! I swear!

I swear! He's lying!

What if I told you this was all Milo's idea?

Sign...

...here...

Get yourself cleaned up for court.

( The crowd shout angrily )

( Crowd still outside )

( Crowd shout )

Get in! Argh!

( Crowd shout and jeer )

( Crowd shout )

Dan?

Dan? How the hell?

When...? I thought you were back on the nuclear world?

I was.

Till the bearded me and you dragged me to safety.

They threw me through the gateway.

Left Kate behind.

I'm sorry, dude.

On the plus side, you're here!

I thought you were dead, man!

I know! You sold me out.

What?

I saw it, Milo. Your entire confession. Blaming it all on me.

sh1t we never did, either of us!

Christ, Dan, I wouldn't have said anything if I'd known you were here!

I thought you were back in that crazy bunker.

I've been here for weeks, dude. Months even, I don't know.

They beat the sh1t out of me, Dan, I didn't know what else to do.

They did the same to me!

Only I didn't crack.

If I'd known you were here, I wouldn't have said a thing.

How was I supposed to know you were on this world?

We didn't do this, Milo, why would you confess?

This isn't our fault. They've set us up. Other us. They've set us up.

Danny. Milo.

Dad. Are you here to defend us?

No-one else would take the job. No-one else wanted it.

Nor did I, but your mother...

What can we do? What are our chances, do you think?

Keep quiet...

Settle down.

..and I'll do everything I can to keep you alive.

( Crowd shout )

Settle down.

Hang him!

( Clanging )

We are here in the matter of the Crown and Milo Edwards and Daniel Gates.

This is the first recorded instance of the charge of quantum genocide.

The penalty if found guilty is death.

Crowd: Yes!

Mr Gates, I believe a plea is being sought?

Yes, Your Honour, both Mr Gates and Mr, uh...

Edwards... Edwards have signed full confessions.

And I can see that each implicates the other.

You blamed it on me?

You blamed it on me first!

Given the full and frank admission by both parties, we ask for leniency.

The damage my clients have done to this world was not intentional.

In exchange for a plea of guilty, we ask that the death sentence be commuted.

That's it? "Don't kill them, please", that's our whole defence?

It's all we've got.

This whole thing's crazy.

Shouldn't we have met our lawyer before the actual trial begins?

And what is this plea agreement? This is just begging.

Oh, yes, I forgot you were the expert.

I've represented myself in court, I had to know a thing or two.

You would've avoided having a criminal record if you'd have just used a lawyer.

'Twas a human rights issue, so...

Smoking weed in the ladies' toilet at Starbucks.

Which is my human right, you dick!

You're the dick. This is all because of you.

You're a dick.

( Bell rings )

Stop it! Silence!

Mr Gates, kindly keep your clients under control.

Six years ago, Milo Edwards and Daniel Gates stole technology from General Callum Stevens.

Using this, they travelled to other realities.

And every time they did so, they bled energy from our own.

The laws of the natural universe no longer hold true.

I find the accused extremely...

...guilty.

( Cheering )

And the sentence that they have handed down to our world through their selfishness is the same sentence I give them...

...death.

( Cheering )

You'll be executed in the morning.

How? How can they do it so quick?

The whole thing was over in like ten minutes, and now they're killing us tomorrow.

What happened to appeals and due process?

Things have changed since the two of you left.

No internet, no phones, no CCTV.

The government's grip has gone to sh1t.

People are starting their own private armies.

Most of Scotland is a no-go war zone.

Not so different to where we're from.

Just trying to lighten the mood, Danny.

The death penalty came back two years ago.

Expedited judicial process was introduced a year ago.

Rome is falling.

( He cries )

My dad just hugged me.

We are so dead. We are so dead.

What if I pretend to choke on this?

You call the cops, they come running in, smack! We take 'em out.

As plans go...

Yeah?

...It's very sh1t.

This porridge is just the right consistency.

If the plan is to get the police to run in, then you can just pretend to choke.

You don't need to actually choke yourself with a porridge of the correct consistency, you colossal dickhead.

At least I'm trying! Not like you just sitting there, sulking.

I'm not sulking, I am furious with you. You sold me out!

You sold ME out! ou did it first!

You chose to stay with Kate instead of coming with me!

I felt bad for her, OK?

It wasn't about you.

It was, Danny.

End of the day, you chose to have happy families with Kate - who isn't even your Kate - instead of coming with me.

I shouldn't be surprised, though. You never do trust me.

Didn't even trust me enough to be your best man.

Oh, f*cking, f*ck, f*ck, f*ck!

Why are we still talking about being best man?!

Hey.

Kate?

So, I heard that you handed yourselves in.

No. No, no, no, you see, there's been a mistake...

What with?

It's not us. It's not your Danny.

I'm the one you slept with back on nuclear world.

Remember? I was drunk, I had a fur coat!

That only proves that you saw me with another Danny.

Just give up! I know about the evidence, they found it in your pockets!

They set us up! That was probably their plan all along - to con us into coming here so that we would take the fall.

I was at the trial! So just save me the excuses.

( He coughs and splutters )

Milo, leave off.

Look, Kate, you have to listen to me. We're really similar to the Danny you were with, but you have to understand, OK...

Milo...

Get off me... Get off...

( Milo chokes and gasps )

Are you serious?

For God's sake, get up. Get up!

You're doing it wrong, you need to put pressure UNDER the ribs!

What, like this?

For God's sake! No! Come here.

( Milo gasps for breath )

Wahhh!

Milo!

Oh, f*ck!

If I can get us out of here, will you promise not to do any of that sh1t again?

Yes, yes, yes, please, let's get out of here!

Good job.

At least I tried.

Kate, it's not us. You have to believe me.

Oh, my God. You're not him.

That's what I've been trying to tell you!

You're the drunk Danny I slept with in Nuclear World.

Yes!

The one who lasted five minutes and fell asleep still inside me?

Uh... well, I mean...

That does sound like him.

But if you're not my Danny, then that means that my Danny's still out there with Milo, dragging our world deeper and deeper into sh1t.

Motherfuck!

So...

You're gonna tell everyone that we're not the ones you're looking for?

Maybe ask them not to execute us tomorrow?

Yeah. Yeah, absolutely.

And you can take us home?

I can.

But I need your help. My Danny and Milo caused all this. They deserve to be brought to justice.

But how can we help?

Cos you're so similar to them. That's why they chose you.

Because you think like they do.

So if you were finally free, where would you go?

What kind of world?

Mexico?

Ooh, big bag of weed, yeah.

Although we'd probably want to make sure that our plan actually worked first, considering all the sh1t that we'd been through.

So we'd... We'd probably stay here.

Yeah. We'd make sure the versions of us were put to death.

We'd be in the crowd.

So, you'd show up in the middle of a bloodthirsty mob, just to see yourselves die?

And we'd bring snacks.

Peperami.

The spicy one.

Mild for me.

Cause of his bunghole.

Do you really think they'll show?

It's what we'd do.

So, can we go home now?

After.

After? What do you mean "after"?

They're not going to show up if there's no execution to show up for.

It'll just be for show. You'll be led out, and we'll let it carry on for as long as it takes to find them.

Now, you should probably get some sleep.

( High-pitched )[/i: It's going to be fine.

[i]( He clears throat )

It's gonna be fine.

Don't talk to me.

( Crowd bay and yell )

How long do we stand here, dude?

I mean, you're not going to kill us, are you? Huh?

Cos Kate did tell you about the plan...

Didn't she?

Did she?

Hold still!

OK. Oh, sh1t, sh1t, sh1t. Where's Kate?

Where's Kate, where's Kate? Danny, where is Kate?!

Milo Edwards and Daniel Gates, you have been found guilty of quantum genocide.

You shall be hung until you are dead.

Wait, wait... Kate! Kate, pull the plug, this isn't working!

May God have mercy on your soul.

Wait, wait, wait! Wait, wait!

Don't I get some last words?

Milo Edwards wishes to say some final words.

( Crowd boos )

Quiet! Enough.

What are you doing?

Buying us time.

So... ahem. I am Milo Edwards. And these are my final words.

I didn't do anything, all right? And I'm not guilty!

All right...

( Crowd boos )

All my life, I've been looking for meaning.

You see, ever since my gran died, I've just... drifted around, smoking a lot of weed, watching a lot of box sets and thinking about doing a lot of stuff, but never actually doing any stuff.

And then this guy appears with a sword and he tries to kill me and I stepped through into another reality.

And all I can think about is...

I wanna go home.

I really, genuinely just wanna go home.

I just want to get up off my arse and grab life by the balls!

I mean I've seen all these different versions of me and I've realised that maybe I'm not that bad.

Maybe, just maybe, someday, I can be somebody.

Crowd: Kill 'em!

f*cking hell, I didn't expect it to go like that! Hang them!

Wait, don't I get to say anything?

Nah. Hang 'em!

Wait, no, no, don't...

Sorry, buddy. I'm sorry for everything.

I love you, pal.

I-I love you too.

We should go.

Hm.

Miss me?

Get them! It's them!

What's going on?

( Horses whinny )

f*cking Paul!

Fear not Lads, I'm Team Danny 'n' Milo to the end!

Oh, you should probably get out of here actually!

Oh, f*cking Paul! I knew I liked that guy!

Unlike Kate, leaving us there to hang.

There we are. Who-o-oa!

What you doing?

They must know the way out...

I meant why are you following me?

I thought it was every man for themselves?

I'm following THEM!

I'M following them! That's MY thing!

Well, Milo, now really isn't the time...

Oh, thank the Lord!

Oh, J-Jesus Christ, it's cold.

V-v-very observant.

What are you doing HERE?

What are you doing here?

Oh, I guess I shouldn't be surprised.

If anyone was going to follow us here, it was gonna be you.

It's not just us.

There was a hell of a lot of people chasing us and when they find that gateway, you are gonna be in a world of sh1t.

The gateways we make, only us and Kate can use.

Even Callum can't follow us.

Something to do with the wristbands, they're prototypes, we reckon.

Hit?

You set us up!

You wanted us to be hanged for something that you did!

Calm down.

You fuckers!

You forget. We think the same. Except I'm better.

There you go.

So what are you going to do with us?

Rest up, then we're gonna send you back to get executed.

And then maybe, maybe we can finally stop looking over our shoulders, eh?

So what are the gateways?

You know, the one from the graveyard, the bunker...

If you already had the wristbands, why d'you need another way of getting around?

We don't mean to create them. They just happen.

Every time we jump into a reality, we create a gateway.

They appear wherever we go and we have no idea how to get rid of them.

Truth is, we just sort of press the buttons, hope for the best.

Ain't that right? There you go.

Yeah, but what about the clues?

Woolly mammoth meat?

I can see why these bastards went extinct, they taste amazing.

Yeah, but what about the clues?

We got separated early on.

Him and Kate were together, I was on my own, so I started leaving clues.

I followed the trail.

We met up, and we promised we'd never ever let that happen again.

So now, whenever we jump, we leave a clue and we write it down in our log books.

Like the one you left in my jacket.

So how'd you find us?

Ha! That was just right time, right universe.

We were being chased by Callum and we got split up.

Milo came back here. I ended up on your world and as soon as I saw you two, I just knew.

Ha-ha! f*cking yes! Run Forrest!

Danny!

It's Kate from the last world. How did you get here?

Please, please, you have to help us. You have to help us!

I'm trying, OK... the lock's stuck!

I see you found my collection.

Why are you doing this? They're prisoners.

They're the best of the best.

Any time I find a Kate I like, I bring her back here.

And I just know you of all people will appreciate...

I've never met a Kate I didn't like.

Mnaaah!

( Kate whimpers )

Ah!

Now, if you run again we're going to cut you up and stick you on the barbecue.

Good effort though, buddy.

Good effort.

What are you grinning about, you dick?

You are responsible for ruining your own world.

Ah, well, we never asked to jump around different realities.

We were just dicking about, trying not to let that Callum guy hurt us. I mean, why should we be executed for just having fun?

Eh?

Fun? People are dead!

"People are dead."

How have you spent the last six years getting chased by a guy with a sword and still know next to nothing about how or why?

I think I've had enough of these two.

Me, too.

Hey, hey, hey. Let's not be hasty, huh?

What about the plan? Sending us back, yeah.

Seems like that could take a while.

f*ck that.

Playing with yourself again, Milo?

Kate?

How did you find us?

I followed you.

Which ones?

Does it really matter?

Kate. You're here!

Back off.

I'm taking you back and I'm handing you in.

To be killed? Why?

Because you left me behind.

No, we didn't. That was an accident.

It was no accident, Danny.

Milo left me stranded.

Is that true?

Er, I, er... I was...

Go on, tell him.

She was ruining it! Dan, she kept talking about going home.

Is it weird that I feel like we're intruding?

We've been living it up since we ditched her.

Remember the money we made in Vegas, the twins in Naked World...?

I could've died.

I really wish you hadn't done that, Milo.

But I thought we were friends.

Jesus Christ, Danny.

I'm still handing you in.

I missed you, Kate.

Without you, it just... It wasn't the same and Milo deserved that.

But without you in my life, I had to turn to others, which means, sadly, I no longer have any use for you.

Jesus, this version of me's a psycho! Go, Kate!

Go! Stab him in the head!

In the head. In the other man! Go!

I don't want to do this, Kate. I can't.

I can't hurt you.

Take me back.

Take me back home.

Don't! I'm lying! Don't!

( He giggles )

Oh, I really am sorry, my one true shit-for-brains.

( Screams )

Girls. Don't be hasty. Argh, argh!

Hold on!

Just like that? We're home?

Just like that.

How do we know?

Well, it's warm and there's no-one trying to kill us.

It'll do.

Don't know about you, guys, but I could do with a beer.

Definitely.

Yeah. Come on, then.

Can I see you inside?

Oh, right, yeah. Course.

Usual?

Yeah.

So, this is it.

Yeah.

Hey, how can you use a wristband and jump wherever you want, but other us had no idea?

You guys never did.

Right.

That does sound like us.

But, I, I still don't understand. What about Callum, you know?

Who is he? How did he make the wristbands and what the actual f*ck is going on?

It's over. You're home.

You don't have to worry about this any more.

Unless...

You could come with me.

What?

I know that my world's a scary place, but I have to go back to return this and let them know it's over.

Look, what we shared was...

Brief.

But nice.

Very nice.

But, I have a Kate of my own and I'm supposed to be marrying her.

Even though you cheated on her.

It's complicated.

Well, I'll see you around, Shitface.

Laters, Tunavag.

Where are they, hm?

Where are Milo and Danny?

Where did you take them?

( She screams )

OK.

( She screams )

You won't find the Milo and Danny from this planet. They died.

Then they can't be the ones I'm looking for.

We've saved each other's lives.

We've sold each other out, and... this sh1t. I, I honestly don't know...

Are we friends any more?

I mean, it's been tough, but I don't see why...

12th of May. Oh f*ck, f*ck, f*ck.

What? What? What?

My wedding's tomorrow. Kate's going to be worried sick...

Kate, again?

I thought you wanted to... talk.

Danny?

Danny, where...?

Where have you been?

Oh, God, I missed you so much.

I thought maybe you'd just ran away.

The engagement party was too much and you couldn't handle it.

Why else would Milo disappear at exactly the same time?

That's not what happened.

Danny, do you still want to get married?

What?

I mean, you asked me and I'm happy that you did, but we've never...

We've never actually talked about it. We've never actually sat down and said, "Is this what we want?"

All of this crazy sh1t that I've seen, it's made me realise how lucky I am.

I do want to marry you. I want that more than anything.

So, just tell me the truth.

All this crazy stuff about parallel worlds.

Just tell me where you've been.

Has there been someone else?

Have you cheated on me?

Technically, no.

( Incessant knocking at door )

I need to speak with Kate.

Milo...

Kate, Danny chose you.

He chose you over me and it's bothered me for a long time.

Milo, look this is really not a great time.

Just listen. I've done some thinking.

And this is what I'm thinking.

I want us to get along, OK, because I've seen what happens when we don't. So, me and you need to, you know, find a way to get along...

...and like each other.

What did you mean that you technically cheated on me?

Oh, so that's what you mean by "This isn't a great time."

Go, go, get out!

What's going on?

These two...

I'm sorry.

..have been trespassing, haven't you, boys?

Passing through the fabric of reality, watching what happens when different decisions are made.

It's all about choice, isn't it?

Free will.

If you're going to kill us, just do it. Stop talking sh1t.

No, no, no!

Don't do that!

I don't want to kill you.

I want to find something out.

I want to test you.

I want you to choose.

Whose life do you save?

Your best friend or your fiancee?

Why? Why do you want me to choose?

Because I want to. Because I want to. Because I want to.

No.

No, I'm not doing it.

I know you're going to choose Kate. It's fine.

No, it's not fine. He'll choose you, like he always does.

Just like he did after our engagement party.

Oh, every reality we go to, he's blabbing on about, "Oh, Kate. Where's Kate?"

And at home all he ever talks about is Milo.

"Milo this and Milo that."

This is entertaining, but I don't have all day, so let's put a little clock on this, shall we?

Ten, nine, eight...

I don't want to die.

..seven.

Choose, Danny. One will die.

Choose. Six, five, four... three, two...

No!

Danny?

I'm sorry we had to do it like this.

It's true, man. The prophecy come true!

Oh, fucksticks.