[ EXT. LONDON, DAY ]
( A giant Tyrannosaurus Rex strides past the Houses of Parliament and the Clock Tower. Crowds of Londoners gather on the southern Embankment and watch in amazement. We can see by the clothes that this is Victorian London. A CONSTABLE clears a path through the crowd. )
Constable: Come on, out of the way. Move yourself, please. Coming through. That's it. Excuse me, sir.
( VASTRA, JENNY and STRAX follow the CONSTABLE towards the INSPECTOR. )
Inspector: Madame Vastra, thank God. I'll wager you've not seen anything like this before.
Vastra: Well... ( lifts veil ) not since I was a little girl.
Jenny: Big fella, isn't he?
Vastra: Dinosaurs were mostly this size. ( whispers in JENNY'S ear ) I do believe it's a "she".
Jenny: No, they weren't, I've seen fossils.
Vastra: I was there.
Inspector: Well, that's all well and good, but what's this dinosaur fellow doing in the Thames?
Vastra: It must have time travelled. Jenny?
( JENNY holds up her left arm to reveal a device with which she scans the dinosaur. )
Inspector: Time travelled?
( The dinosaur starts hacking. )
Vastra: Is it choking?
Jenny: There seems to be something lodged in its throat.
Inspector: How could it time travel?
Vastra: I don't know. Perhaps it was something it ate.
( The dinosaur hacks up the TARDIS. It spins through the air before landing on the riverbank. The crowd let out gasps of astonishment. )
Inspector: ( pushes his way through crowd ) Stand back. Stand back, stand back. ( leans over rail ) Well, it's just laid an egg.
Vastra: It's dropped a blue box marked "Police" out of its mouth. Your grasp of biology troubles me.
( VASTRA joins JENNY and STRAX as they stand away from the crowd. )
Jenny: It's the TARDIS.
Vastra: It would seem so.
Jenny: We'll take care of this, Inspector.
Inspector: But what if that thing goes on the rampage?
Vastra: ( takes a lantern that looks like a jack from a cloth bag ) Place these lanterns on the shoreline and bridges, encircling the creature at 20-foot intervals. ( hands it to the INSPECTOR )
Inspector: What will they do?
Vastra: They will emit a signal that will incline it to remain within their circumference. Jenny, Strax... with me. ( goes down the steps to the bank )
[ EXT. LONDON, THAMES EMBANKMENT, DAY ]
Jenny: So it's him, then, the Doctor?
Vastra: A giant dinosaur from the distant past has just vomited a blue box from outer space - this is not a day for jumping to conclusions. Strax, if you wouldn't mind?
Strax: ( walks to the TARDIS and knocks on the door ) Hello? Exit the box, and surrender to the glory of the Sontaran Empire.
( The TARDIS door opens and the DOCTOR sticks his head out. )
The Doctor: Shush! ( shuts door )
Strax: Doctor?
The Doctor: ( opens door ) I was being chased by a giant dinosaur, but I think I managed to give it the slip. ( closes door )
( STRAX looks over at VASTRA and JENNY. The TARDIS door opens a cr*ck and the DOCTOR peers out. )
The Doctor: Sleepy?
Strax: Sir?
The Doctor: ( steps out, staring at STRAX ) Bashful? Sneezy? Dopey? Grumpy! ( sees VASTRA and JENNY ) Oh, you two! The green one...and the not-green one. Or it could be the other way round, I mustn't prejudge! Oh, you remember, er... ( points at the TARDIS and CLARA steps out ) thingy, the, er, the not-me one, the asking-questions one? Names - not my area. ( walks around )
Clara: Clara!
The Doctor: Well, it might be Clara, might not be - it's a lottery.
Clara: It is Clara.
The Doctor: Well, I'm not ruling it out! Oi, big man, shut it! ( looks up and sees the dinosaur ) Oh, you've got a dinosaur too! Big woman, sorry.
Clara: ( runs over to the DOCTOR ) Doctor, listen to me. You... you need to calm down.
The Doctor: ( to dinosaur ) I'm not flirting, by the way.
Clara: ( to VASTRA ) I think something's gone wrong.
The Doctor: Wrong? What's gone wrong? Have you regenerated? I remember you. You're Handles! You used to be a little...a little robot head, and now you... you've really let yourself go.
( The dinosaur roars. )
The Doctor: ( hurries to VASTRA ) Reduce the frequency.
Vastra: I'm sorry?
The Doctor: Your sonic lanterns, turn them down. You're giving her a headache.
Jenny: Giving who a headache?
The Doctor: ( looks up and walks forward towards the dinosaur ) My lady friend! Just an expression, don't get any ideas.
Strax: How do you know?
The Doctor: Come on, Clara! You know that I speak dinosaur.
Clara: ( stands next to STRAX ) He's not Clara. I'm Clara.
The Doctor: Well, you're very similar heights. Maybe you should wear labels. ( backs away ) Why... why are you all doing that? Why are you... You're all going dark... and wobbly - stop that.
Clara: I don't think we are.
The Doctor: Never mind! Everyone... take five. ( passes out and collapses to the ground )
( CLARA rushes to the DOCTOR and turns him over. )
Clara: What do we do?
Jenny: I don't understand, who is he? Where's the Doctor?
Clara: Right here. That's him. That's the Doctor.
Vastra: Well then, here we go again.
Peter Capaldi
Jenna Coleman
DOCTOR WHO
"Deep Breath"
By Steven Moffat
PRODUCER
Nikki Wilson
DIRECTOR
Ben Wheatley
[ EXT. LONDON, NIGHT ]
( As we pass over the roofs of London, we see the dinosaur roaring in the distance. )
[ INT. VASTRA and JENNY'S, HALL, NIGHT ]
( CLARA and JENNY have their ears pressed against the door as the DOCTOR rants to VASTRA inside the room. )
The Doctor: It's simply misunderstandable to me. I don't know what it is. ( opens door wearing a nightshirt ) Who invented this room?
( CLARA and JENNY take advantage of the open door and go inside. )
[ INT. VASTRA and JENNY'S, BEDROOM, NIGHT ]
Clara: Doctor, please, you have to lie down.
The Doctor: It doesn't make sense. Look, it's only got a bed in it. Why is there only a bed in it?
Clara: Because it's a bed-ROOM, it's for sleeping in.
The Doctor: OK, what do you do when you're awake?
Jenny: You leave the room.
The Doctor: So you've got a whole room for not being awake in? But what's the point? You're just missing the room! And don't look in that mirror - it's absolutely furious.
Clara: Doctor, please, you have to lie down, you keep passing out.
The Doctor: Well, of course I keep passing out, there's all these beds! Why do you keep talking like that? What's gone wrong with your accent?
Jenny: Nothing's wrong with her accent.
The Doctor: You sound the same. It's spreading. You all sound all... English. Now you've all developed a fault!
Vastra: ( Scottish accent ) Doctor, I need your help with something.
The Doctor: Finally, someone who can talk properly.
Vastra: I'm having difficulty sleeping. ( takes the DOCTOR'S hands and leads him towards the bed )
The Doctor: Oh? Oh, well, I wouldn't bother with that, I never bother with sleep, and I just do standy-up-catnaps.
Vastra: Oh, really, how interesting. And when do you do those?
The Doctor: Well, generally whenever anyone else starts talking. I like to skip ahead to my bits, it saves time.
( VASTRA and the DOCTOR sit on the bed. )
Vastra: Save me time, Doctor. ( places the DOCTOR'S hands on either side of her head ) Project an image of perfect sleep into the centre of my mind.
( VASTRA places her hands on the sides of the DOCTOR'S head just as he removes his from her head. )
The Doctor: What, do you want a psychic link with me? The size of my brain, it would be like dropping a piano on you.
Vastra: Be gentle, then.
The Doctor: I'll try. Brace yourself! Piano. ( places hands against VASTRA'S head and promptly falls unconscious onto the bed )
Vastra: ( resumes normal voice ) I love monkeys, they're so funny.
Jenny: Oh, I see! So people are monkeys now, are they?
Vastra: No, dear. People are apes. Men are monkeys.
( The three place the DOCTOR under the bedcovers and let him sleep. )
Clara: So what now?
Vastra: He needs rest.
Clara: So what do we do? How do we fix him?
Jenny: Fix him?
Clara: How do we change him back?
( JENNY looks nervously at VASTRA. )
Vastra: Jenny... I will be in my chamber. Would you be kind enough to fetch my veil?
Jenny: Why, are we expecting strangers?
Vastra: It would seem... there's already one here. ( leaves )
Clara: What have I done wrong?
( The dinosaur roars and JENNY hurries to the window, happy to change the topic of conversation. )
Jenny: The dinosaur doesn't seem very happy.
Clara: What's wrong with it? ( kneels by the bed )
Jenny: I dunno. The Doctor's the one that speaks dinosaur. Excuse me, ma'am, the wife doesn't like to be kept waiting.
Clara: Where did he get that face? Why's it got lines on it? It's brand-new. How can his hair be all grey? He only just got it.
Jenny: It's still him, ma'am, you saw him change.
Clara: I know. I do, I...I know that.
Jenny: Good.
Clara: It's just...
Jenny: What?
Clara: Nothing.
( JENNY starts for the door. )
Clara: If... If Vastra changed, if she was different, if she wasn't the person that you liked...
Jenny: I don't like her, ma'am, I love her. And as to different, well, she's a lizard. ( leaves )
( CLARA stands and fusses with the bedcovers before resting her hand on the DOCTOR'S. She then goes over and looks out the window. The dinosaur roars. )
The Doctor: ( softly ) I am alone. The world which... shook at my feet, and the trees...and the sky, have gone... and I am alone now... alone.
( CLARA walks over as he speaks. )
Clara: Are you translating? ( sits on the edge of the bed )
The Doctor: The wind bites now... and the world is grey... and I am alone here. Can't see me. Doesn't see me. Can't... see me.
Clara: Who can't see it? I think all of London can see it.
Strax: Boy? Madame Vastra is waiting.
Clara: ( goes to the doorway ) OK, whatever.
Strax: I will convey you to her chamber. May I take your coat?
Clara: Not wearing a coat.
Strax: What's all that?
Clara: Clothes.
Strax: May I take your clothes?
Clara: Probably not. ( heads out the door )
Strax: Are you wearing a hat?
Clara: It's hair.
Strax: ( follows ) No, I think it's a hat, would you like me to check?
[ EXT. LONDON, STREET, NIGHT ]
( A lamplighter progresses down the street. Groups of people are standing in the street talking about the dinosaur and pointing in that direction. A couple walks forward to where the road drops away, allowing a clear view of the dinosaur. )
Man: It's not real, of course.
Woman: What is it, then?
Man: The government.
Woman: The government?
Man: Yeah, up to their usual tricks.
Woman: It's a dinosaur, Alf. A real dinosaur.
Alf: I wouldn't put it past them.
Woman: You don't half talk a lot of rubbish, Alfie. See you don't stay out too late now. ( kisses ALF on the cheek )
Alf: You know me.
Woman: Yes, I do! ( leaves )
( The lamplighter lights the lamp behind ALF revealing a MAN in a top hat and heavy overcoat with a turned up fur collar. He turns to look at ALF before walking over to stand next to him. )
Alf: It's the neck, that's what's wrong with it. Just don't look realistic.
Man: ( monotone ) You have good eyes.
( With what sounds like the grinding of gears, the man looks down and takes something like tweezers or forceps from his pocket. )
Alf: Oh, I do, as it happens, very good eyes. They're my greatest gift.
Man: I accept.
Alf: ( notices the device ) What's that for?
Man: Your gift. ( turns and we see he has half a face, clockwork gears can be seen through open framework ) I have bad eyes.
( The HALF-FACE MAN grabs ALF who screams. )
[ INT. VASTRA and JENNY'S, CONSERVATORY, NIGHT ]
( VASTRA sits in a chair, veil over her face. CLARA sits across from her and JENNY stands to the side. )
Vastra: And then?
Clara: Why are you wearing your veil?
Vastra: And then?
Clara: And then we got swallowed by a big dinosaur. You probably noticed.
Jenny: How did it happen?
Clara: I don't know, I don't know, we were... crashing about everywhere. The Doctor was gone, the TARDIS went haywire.
Jenny: He's not gone. He's upstairs.
( CLARA looks up at JENNY. VASTRA waits patiently. )
Clara: OK, he changed.
Vastra: He regenerated, renewed himself.
Clara: Renewed, fine.
Vastra: Such a cynical smile.
Clara: I'm not smiling.
Vastra: Not outwardly, but I'm accustomed to seeing through a veil. How have I amused you?
Clara: You said renewed. He doesn't... He doesn't look renewed, he looks... older.
Vastra: You thought he was young?
Clara: He looked young.
Vastra: He looked like your dashing young gentleman friend, your lover, even.
Clara: Shut up!
Vastra: But he is the Doctor. He has walked this universe for centuries untold, he has seen stars fall to dust. You might as well flirt with a mountain range.
Clara: I did not flirt with him.
Vastra: He flirted with you.
Clara: How?
Vastra: He looked young. Who do you think that was for?
Clara: Me?
Vastra: Everyone. I wear a veil as he wore a face - for the same reason.
Clara: What reason?
Vastra: The oldest reason there is for anything... to be accepted.
[ INT. VASTRA and JENNY'S, BEDROOM, NIGHT ]
( Lying in bed, the DOCTOR sniffs twice. He then wakes and sits up with a deep inhale. He gets out of bed and on his hands and knees then looks under the bed and sniffs again. He crawls over to the radiator and scrabbles with his hand underneath. He pulls out a long piece of chalk, holds it to his nose and breathes in. He then marks the chalk against the radiator. )
[ INT. VASTRA and JENNY'S, CONSERVATORY, NIGHT ]
( JENNY is pouring tea. )
Vastra: Jenny and I are married, yet for appearance's sake, we maintain a pretence, in public, that she is my maid.
Jenny: Doesn't exactly explain why I'm pouring tea in private.
Vastra: Hush now.
Jenny: Good pretence, isn't it?
Vastra: I wear a veil to keep from view what many are pleased to call my disfigurement. I do not wear it as a courtesy to such people, but as a judgment on the quality of their hearts.
Clara: Are you judging me?
Vastra: The Doctor regenerated in your presence. The young man disappeared, the veil lifted. He trusted you. Are you judging him?
Clara: ( stands ) How dare you? How dare you?
[ INT. VASTRA and JENNY'S, BEDROOM, NIGHT ]
( The DOCTOR is writing in chalk on the floor. In a wider sh*t, we see he has covered practically every inch of the floor. The dinosaur roars and the DOCTOR stands. He then goes to the door and opens it. )
The Doctor: Door. Boring. Not me. ( closes the door and hurries over to the window opening it and sticks out his head ) Me! ( looks up to the roof )
[ INT. VASTRA and JENNY'S, CONSERVATORY, NIGHT ]
Clara: Marcus Aurelius, Roman Emperor, last of the five good'uns, stoic philosopher.
Vastra: ( no longer wearing veil ) Superlative bass guitarist - the Doctor really knows how to put a band together.
Clara: And the only pin-up I ever had on my wall when I was 15, the only one I ever had. I am not sure who you think you're talking to right now, Madam Vastra, but I have never had the slightest interest in pretty young men. And for the record, if there ever was anybody who could flirt with a mountain range, she's probably standing in front of you right now! Just because my pretty face has turned your head, do not assume that I am so easily distracted.
Jenny: ( applauds ) Whoo! Woo-hoo! ( slows to a stop when the others look at her ) Sorry!
Vastra: Well... ( chuckles ) goodness me! The lake is ruffled at last. I often wondered what you'd be like when you lost your temper.
Jenny: Oi! ( slaps VASTRA'S head and she hisses ) Married.
Vastra: ( stands ) The Doctor needs us, you more than anyone. He is lost in the ruin of himself, and we must bring him home.
Clara: When did you stop wearing your veil?
Vastra: When you stopped seeing it.
[ EXT. LONDON, ROOFTOPS, NIGHT ]
( The DOCTOR dressed only in his nightshirt makes his way across the roof, calling to the dinosaur. )
The Doctor: Oi! Oi! ( waves arms ) Oi, big, sexy woman! Oi! Sorry. Sorry, it's all my fault. My time machine got stuck in your throat. It happens. I brought you along by accident, that's mostly how I meet girls, but don't worry, I promise I will get you home. I swear, whatever it takes, ( uses hand motions ) I will keep you safe. You will be at home again.
( The dinosaur bursts into flames. She moans in pain and the DOCTOR can only watch, helpless. )
The Doctor: Stop that. Who's doing that? No, don't do that. ( runs off as the dinosaur collapses )
[ INT. VASTRA and JENNY'S, CONSERVATORY, NIGHT ]
( VASTRA stands up. )
Vastra: That came from the river!
Jenny: The dinosaur!
Vastra: Strax, bring the carriage, now!
[ EXT. LONDON, NIGHT ]
( The DOCTOR runs across the roof and leaps into a nearby tree. He unfortunately doesn't get a good grip and falls through the branches, finally stopping when his legs catch on a branch and he hangs upside-down overlooking the entry to the mews. A horse and carriage are headed his way. )
The Doctor: Halt!
( The DRIVER stops the carriage. )
The Doctor: Sorry, I'm going to have to relieve you of your pet!
Driver: You're what?
The Doctor: Shut up, I was talking to the horse!
( The DOCTOR drops from the branch and lands on the horse. He then uses the sonic screwdriver on the reins, cutting them. )
Driver: What are you doing?
The Doctor: Forwards!
( The horse rears and the DOCTOR gallops off. STRAX soon comes by driving VASTRA'S carriage. )
Strax: Out of the way, human scum! Hyya! Jurassic emergency! Hyya!
[ EXT. LONDON, STREET, NIGHT ]
( The DOCTOR rides the horse through the streets on his way to the river. )
The Doctor: Left! No, no! Right, right, right, right! Sorry, it's my new hands, I can't tell them apart.
( Not too far behind is VASTRA'S carriage. )
[ INT. CARRIAGE, NIGHT ]
( JENNY, VASTRA and CLARA are in the carriage as it races through the streets. )
Jenny: What do you think's happened?
Vastra: I don't know, but I fear devilment.
Clara: Should we not have told the Doctor?
Jenny: He's not ready to leave his bed.
[ EXT. LONDON, STREET, NIGHT ]
The Doctor: Watch it on the corners, it's a bit slippery up here!
[ INT. CARRIAGE, NIGHT ]
Vastra: Strax!
Strax: ( from outside ) Hyya!
Vastra: Come on, Strax!
Strax: ( from outside ) Hyya! Hyya, hyya!
Vastra: That's better!
[ EXT. LONDON, BRIDGE, NIGHT ]
( The DOCTOR arrives on the closest bridge crossing the Thames where the dinosaur was k*lled. He dismounts the horse and leaps onto the railing overlooking the still-burning remains. )
The Doctor: Sorry, sorry. I'm sorry, sorry, sorry.
( The carriage arrives and the passengers step out surprised to see the DOCTOR. )
Clara: The Doctor! What's he doing here?
Vastra: ( uses a remote to close and alarm the carriage ) There is trouble - where else would he be?
The Doctor: She was scared. She was scared and alone. I brought her here and look what they did.
Vastra: Who or what could have done this thing?
The Doctor: No.
Vastra: I'm sorry?
The Doctor: No. That is not the question. That is not where we start.
Strax: The question is how. The flesh itself has been combusted...
The Doctor: No, no, shut up! What do you all have for brains - pudding? Look at you. Why can't I meet a decent species? Planet of the pudding-brains!
Clara: ( walks to the railing ) Doctor... I know you're upset, but you need to calm down and talk to us. What is the question?
The Doctor: A dinosaur is burning in the heart of London. Nothing left but smoke and flame. The question is... have there been any similar murders?
Vastra: Yes! Yes, by the Goddess, there have!
The Doctor: ( looks towards the embankment ) Look at them all - gawking!
( The people on the embankment are talking excitedly amongst themselves. Off to the side is the HALF-FACE MAN showing no emotion whatsoever. )
The Doctor: Question two. If all the pudding-brains are gawking... then what is he? ( points at the HALF-FACE MAN as he walks away )
Vastra: He seems remarkably unmoved by the available spectacle.
( CLARA turns to look at VASTRA and doesn't see the DOCTOR jump into the river as she talks. )
Clara: Do you think that's whoever...? ( turns around as she hears a splash and looks over the rail ) What he's doing? He'll drown!
Vastra: I very much doubt it.
Clara: ( looks at VASTRA ) Why?
Vastra: There has been a m*rder. The Doctor has taken up the case. If we are to see him again, we must do the same.
( VASTRA heads back to the carriage. CLARA looks down into the churning waters of the Thames. )
[ INT. VASTRA and JENNY'S, BEDROOM, DAY ]
( CLARA pours water into a basin before wetting the cloth. She is wearing a Victorian nightdress and has a shawl wrapped around her arms. We hear STRAX'S voice carry from outside. )
Strax: Come on, Earthling scum! Position it here. Easy now! That's it. Careful.
( CLARA goes to the window and opens it further. STRAX is directing two men unloading the TARDIS in the courtyard. He has a rolled-up newspaper in his hand. )
Strax: Don't get it scratched or you and all your bloodline will be obliterated from time and space.
Man: Very good, sir.
Clara: Strax!
Strax: ( looks up ) Ah, morning, Miss Clara. You're awake at last.
Clara: You got the TARDIS, then?
Strax: m*llitary tactics. The Doctor is still missing, but he will always come looking for his box. By bringing it here, he will be lured from the dangers of London to this place of safety, and we will melt him with acid.
Clara: OK, that last part?
Strax: And we will not melt him with acid. Old habits. The Times. Shall I send it up?
Clara: Yeah, why not?
( STRAX throws the paper to CLARA. It hits her in the head and she falls backwards. )
[ INT. VASTRA and JENNY'S, HALL, DAY ]
( CLARA exits her room now dressed in a period gown and her hair is done up on the top of her head. She looks like she did when a governess. She walks down the hall, the newspaper in her hand. She sees JENNY coming up the stairs. )
Clara: Jenny!
Jenny: Ah, good morning, Clara.
Clara: ( meets JENNY on the landing and walks up with her ) Morning. Erm, so what are we going to do? Are we looking for the Doctor?
Jenny: We've got the Paternoster Irregulars out in force. If anyone can find him, they can. Meanwhile, Madam Vastra is slightly occupied by the Conk-Singleton forgery case. And is having the Camberwell child-poisoner for dinner...
Clara: For dinner?
Jenny: After she's finished interrogating him. Probably best to stay out the larder. It'll get a bit noisy in there later.
Clara: Erm...
( JENNY walks away. CLARA goes downstairs. )
[ INT. VASTRA and JENNY'S, KITCHEN, DAY ]
( STRAX is mopping the floor when he sees CLARA walking down the hall towards him. )
Strax: Ah, Miss Clara! ( leans mop against the wall ) You look better now you're up.
Clara: ( enters the room and unties the paper ) Thank you, Strax!
Strax: Oh, sorry, trick of the light. You still look terrible. Can I get you anything?
Clara: Er, no, thanks. Maybe just some water.
Strax: ( bows ) Of course. ( puts bucket of dirty water on the table ) Well, don't hold back, I've nearly finished anyway.
Clara: Um...
Strax: It's perfectly all right. I washed in it myself.
Clara: All of a sudden, I'm not very thirsty.
Strax: Really? ( walks over to CLARA ) Perhaps it is time then... ( takes out handheld device, turns it on and advances towards her ) for your mandatory medical examination.
( CLARA sits and STRAX aims the device at her eye as he looks through it. )
Strax: Say, "Ah."
Clara: Ah.
Strax: You didn't move your lips.
Clara: You're looking at my eye.
Strax: Oh, yes, there we are. Easy mistake. ( shines device on her forehead ) Ah-h! Now that's interesting.
Clara: What? What's interesting?
Strax: Deflected narcissism, traces of passive aggressive, and a lot of muscular young men doing sport.
Clara: What are you looking at?
Strax: Your subconscious. Is that sport? It could be sport.
Clara: Well, stop looking. ( flips the device closed )
Strax: ( opens the device and stands back to scan her torso ) Moving onto the thorax, such as it is... Ah, excellent. Enviable spleen! Well done. 27 years old, with a projected lifespan of exactly...
Clara: Stop... right there.
Strax: Oh, you're going to do quite well. But watch out for fluid retention later, it's going to be spectacular. Well, put your clothes back on.
Clara: They are on!
Strax: Oh, yes, so they are.
Clara: ( takes the device from STRAX and sets it on the table ) Why are you doing this?
Strax: If we are to serve together, I need you in peak physical prowess. Eh? ( punches her in the arm )
Clara: Ow! ( stands ) Why would we be serving together? The Doctor's going to come back, isn't he?
Strax: It is to be hoped.
Clara: He's not just going to abandon me here.
Strax: You must stop worrying about him, my boy. By now, he's almost certainly had his throat cut by the violent poor.
[ EXT. LONDON, ALLEY, DAY ]
( The DOCTOR, still in his nightshirt, is scrounging through junk in an alley. A TRAMP enters the alley and watches him. The DOCTOR finds a mirror and stares at his reflection. The TRAMP tosses his bottle and the DOCTOR whips around and looks at him. )
The Doctor: Bitey.
Tramp: Bitey?
The Doctor: The air... it's bitey, it's wet and bitey.
Tramp: Oh, it's cold!
The Doctor: That's right. It's cold! It's cold, I knew it was a thing. ( walks towards the TRAMP ) I need, um... I need clothes. I need clothes, that's what I need. ( rubs his neck ) And a big, long scarf. No, no, move on from that, looked stupid. Um... Have you seen this face before?
Tramp: No.
The Doctor: Are you sure?
Tramp: Sir, I have never seen that face.
The Doctor: It's funny, because...I'm sure that I have. You know, I never know where the faces come from. They just pop up. Zap! Faces like this one. ( pulls the TRAMP to the mirror ) Come on, look at it, have a look, come on, look, look, look. Look, it's covered in lines, but I didn't do the frowning. Who frowned me this face? Do you ever look in the mirror and think, "I've seen that face before"?
Tramp: Yes.
The Doctor: Really? When?
Tramp: Well, every time I look in the mirror.
The Doctor: Oh, yes, yes, yes, fair enough. Good point. My face is fresh on, though.
( The TRAMP turns and walks away. )
The Doctor: Er... Why this one? Why did I choose... this face? ( turns and starts to walk after the TRAMP ) It's like I'm trying to tell myself something, like I'm trying to make a point. But what is so important that I can't just tell myself what I'm thinking?
Tramp: Er...
The Doctor: I'm not just being rhetorical here, you can join in.
Tramp: I don't like it.
The Doctor: What?
Tramp: Your face.
The Doctor: Well, I don't like it either. Well, it's all right up until the eyebrows. Then it just goes haywire. Look at the eyebrows! These are att*ck eyebrows. You could take bottle tops off with these!
Tramp: They are mighty eyebrows indeed, sir.
The Doctor: They're cross! They're crosser than the rest of my face. They're independently cross. They probably want to cede from the rest of my face and set up their own independent state of eyebrows. That's Scot... I am Scottish. I've gone Scottish?
Tramp: Oh, yes, you are. You are definitely Scots, sir. I... I 'ear it in your voice.
The Doctor: Oh, no, that's good. Oh-h! Oh-h! It's good I'm Scottish, I'm Scottish. I am Scottish. I can complain about things, I can really complain about things now. Give me your coat.
Tramp: No.
The Doctor: I'm cold.
Tramp: I'm cold.
The Doctor: I'm cold. Well, there's no point in us both being cold, give me your coat. Give me your coat! No, wait. Shut up, shut up! Shut up! ( turns back and starts to search the alley ) I missed something. It was here, it was here. It was... What was it I saw, what did I see? ( finds newspaper and shows TRAMP ) This is what I saw! Spontaneous combustion!
( The small headline reads "Fourth Case of Spontaneous Combustion". )
Tramp: What devilry is this, sir?
The Doctor: I don't know, but I probably blame the English.
[ INT. VASTRA and JENNY'S, STUDIO, DAY ]
( VASTRA is standing at an easel as JENNY poses in a corset and shift, a shawl about her shoulders. )
Vastra: Hmm! Spontaneous combustion!
Jenny: Is that like love at first sight?
Vastra: Huh! A little. It is the theory that human beings can, with little or no inducement, simply explode.
Jenny: You don't need to flirt with me, we're already married.
Vastra: It's scientific nonsense, of course.
Jenny: Marriage?
Vastra: Hush! There have been nine reported incidents of people apparently exploding in the last month.
Jenny: And you think they weren't spontaneous.
Vastra: I think whoever k*lled the dinosaur had at least nine previous victims – ( turns the easel around to reveal a map and articles regarding the case ) all of these perished in the same spectacular fashion.
Jenny: ( no longer posing ) I thought you were painting me!
Vastra: I was working.
Jenny: Well, why am I posing then?
Vastra: Well, you brighten the room tremendously. Chin up a little. ( tries to get JENNY to pose again )
Jenny: Oh, I don't understand why I'm doing this!
Vastra: Art?
( JENNY just looks at VASTRA and she returns to the board. JENNY walks over as well. )
Vastra: Now, why destroy the victims so completely? It's difficult, it draws attention - what advantage is to be gained?
Jenny: Well, tell us, then.
Vastra: Concealment, perhaps.
Jenny: Concealment?
Vastra: It's a fanciful theory, but it fits the facts. By destroying the body so completely, you conceal what is missing from it.
Jenny: Missing from the body?
Clara: ( muffled ) Madame Vastra! ( enters the room )
Vastra: Clara, excellent. Pop your clothes on that chair there.
Clara: Look! ( holds up the personal ads and points )
Vastra: Advertisements, yes - so many, it's a distressing modern trend.
Clara: No, look! ( lays the paper on a table ) Look. ( points to an ad that reads "Impossible Girl" )
( VASTRA walks to the door. )
Jenny: Ma'am?
Vastra: The game is afoot. We're going to need a lot of tea. ( tugs on bell pull )
>>> LATER >>>
( STRAX is pouring the tea as VASTRA looks at the newspaper and JENNY and CLARA study the map. )
Vastra: There appears to be nothing of significance in the rest of the newspaper, not even in the agony column.
Jenny: We can't know it's from the Doctor.
Clara: Of course it's from the Doctor. The Impossible Girl, that's what he calls me!
Vastra: He says lunch, but not when or where?
Jenny: "On the other side?" The other side of London? Bit vague.
Vastra: The other side of regeneration, perhaps, once he's recovered?
Clara: ( pacing ) So what am I supposed to do - guess where we're meeting?
Vastra: Perhaps that's the point. Perhaps you're supposed to prove that you still know him. Think what that must mean for a man who barely knows himself.
Clara: It doesn't makes sense. He doesn't do puzzles. He isn't complicated, really doesn't have the attention span. So... ( pulls the outside sheet of the paper and holds it to the light ) keeping it dead simple... "..on the other side." ( flips the paper over to reveal "Mancini's Family Restaurant" directly behind the ad )
[ EXT. LONDON, STREET, DAY ]
( CLARA holds the newspaper and crosses the street to Mancini's restaurant. )
[ INT. RESTAURANT, DAY ]
( CLARA enters the restaurant. Despite the number of diners, it is very quiet, no conversation. She takes a seat at a table against the wall and looks at the paper to keep busy. She then makes a face and sniffs. She looks around for the source of the smell and turns back to see the DOCTOR sitting next to her. He is wearing the TRAMP'S coat. CLARA fans the folded paper under her nose and coughs. )
The Doctor: What's wrong?
Clara: I don't know! Maybe the smell?
The Doctor: I know, it's everywhere. ( looks around )
Clara: Where did you get that coat?
The Doctor: Er... I bought it.
Clara: From where?
The Doctor: Er, a shop.
Clara: No.
The Doctor: Might have been a tramp.
Clara: You don't have any money.
The Doctor: Er... I had a watch!
Clara: No! That watch was beautiful.
The Doctor: It was my favourite.
Clara: You swapped your favourite watch for that coat - that's maybe not a good deal.
The Doctor: Well, I was in a hurry, there was a terrible smell.
Clara: OK.
( The DOCTOR smiles and chuckles, pointing at CLARA. )
Clara: No, no. Don't, don't... Don't, don't smile. I will smile first and then you know it's safe to smile.
The Doctor: Are you cross with me?
Clara: I am not cross, but if I was cross it would be your fault and... yes, I am cross.
The Doctor: I guessed that.
Clara: I am extremely cross.
The Doctor: And if I hadn't changed my face, would you be cross?
Clara: I would be cross if I wasn't cross!
The Doctor: Why?
Clara: Why? An ordinary person wants to meet someone that they know very well for lunch, what do they do?
The Doctor: Well, they probably... get in touch and suggest lunch.
Clara: Mm-hm. OK, so what sort of person would put a cryptic note in…in a newspaper advert?
The Doctor: Well, I wouldn't like to say.
Clara: Oh, go on, do say.
The Doctor: Well, I would say that that person would be an egomaniac, needy, game-player sort of person.
Clara: ( sighs ) Thank you. Well, at least that hasn't changed.
The Doctor: And I don't suppose it ever will.
Clara: ( chuckles ) No, I don't suppose it will either.
The Doctor: Clara, honestly... ( puts a hand on one of hers ) I don't want you to change. It was no bother, really. I saw your advert, I figured it out - happy to play your game.
Clara: No. No... no, I didn't place the ad. You placed the ad.
The Doctor: No, I didn't.
Clara: Yes, you placed the ad, I figured it out! Impossible Girl, see, lunch? ( holds up paper )
The Doctor: ( takes paper ) No, look, the Impossible... That is a message FROM the Impossible Girl.
Clara: FOR the Impossible... Girl.
The Doctor: Oh? Oh?
Clara: Hmm.
The Doctor: Well, if neither of us placed that ad, who placed... that ad? ( looks out at the diners )
Clara: Hang on. "Egomaniac, needy, game-player"?
The Doctor: This could be a trap.
Clara: That was me?
The Doctor: Never mind that.
Clara: Yes, I am minding that!
The Doctor: Clara....
Clara: You were talking about me?
The Doctor: Clara, what is happening right now in this restaurant to you and me is more important than your egomania.
Clara: Nothing is more important than my egomania!
The Doctor: Right, you actually said that.
Clara: You never mention that again!
The Doctor: ( scratches head ) It's... it's a vanity trap. You're so busy congratulating yourself on solving the puzzle, ( pulls a hair from his head ) you don't notice that you're sticking your head in a noose. ( holds air up by fingertips )
Clara: What are you doing? And that isn't the only grey one, if you are, erm, having a cull.
The Doctor: What, do you have a problem with the grey ones?
Clara: If I got new hair, and it was grey, I would have a problem.
The Doctor: Yeah, I bet you would.
Clara: Meaning?
The Doctor: It's too short. ( drops hair and pulls one from CLARA'S head )
Clara: Ow!
The Doctor: Sorry, it was the only one out of place, I'm sure that you would want it k*lled.
Clara: Oooh, are you trying to tell me something?
The Doctor: ( holds the piece of hair loosely ) I'm trying to measure the air disturbance in the room.
Clara: Right, moments when you know you are boring.
( The DOCTOR drops the hair and it falls straight down. He then looks out at the diners and it appears they are literally just going through the motions and never really eating. )
The Doctor: There is something extremely wrong with everybody else in this room.
Clara: Mmm, basically, don't you always think that?
The Doctor: Look at them.
( CLARA looks. )
The Doctor: Don't look!
Clara: You just said to look!
The Doctor: Look without looking!
( CLARA faces the DOCTOR but looks out the side of her eyes at the other diners. )
Clara: They look fine to me. They're just eating.
The Doctor: Are they?
( CLARA looks again and notices that even though they bring the food to their mouths, it never goes in. )
Clara: OK, no. No, they're not eating.
The Doctor: Something else they're not doing. ( pulls another hair from CLARA and drops it ) Breathing.
Clara: What do we do?
The Doctor: What, you don't want to eat, do you?
Clara: Hmm! Slightly lost my appetite. How long before they notice that we're different?
The Doctor: Not long.
Clara: Anything we can do?
The Doctor: How long can you hold your breath?
Clara: We could just casually stroll out of here, like we've changed our minds.
The Doctor: Happens all the time.
Clara: Ha! Course it does.
( The DOCTOR and CLARA stand to leave and so does every other diner. They take a step forward and the diners move towards them. The DOCTOR and CLARA take another step and so do the diners. )
Clara: We could... take another look at the menu.
( The DOCTOR and CLARA sit back down and the diners resume their places. )
Clara: ( looks at menu ) What are they?
The Doctor: I don't know. But don't worry, because that's not the question. The question is what is this restaurant?
Clara: OK, what is this restaurant?
The Doctor: I don't know.
( They look up to see a WAITER standing there. He stares at them. )
The Doctor: Er... no sausages? Do you... And there's no pictures either. Do you have a children's menu?
( The WAITER takes out a wand-like device and scans the DOCTOR. )
The Doctor: Any specials?
Waiter: ( monotone ) Liver.
The Doctor: I don't like liver.
Waiter: Spleen. Brain stem. Eyes.
Clara: Mm. Is there a lot of demand for those?
The Doctor: I don't think that's what's on the menu. I think we are the menu.
Waiter: ( scans CLARA ) Lungs. Skin.
( The DOCTOR peers up at the WAITER. )
The Doctor: Excuse me. ( rips off face to reveal a pilot light burning underneath )
Clara: OK. Robot in a mask.
The Doctor: It's a face.
Clara: Yeah, it's very convincing.
The Doctor: ( presses the "mask" against CLARA'S face ) No, it's a face.
Clara: ( drops face ) Oh!
Waiter: Yes.
The Doctor: Yes, what?
Waiter: Yes, we have a children's menu.
( Metal restraints come out from the chairs over the upper arms and chest and another around the waist and lower arms. The booth is then lowered down a shaft. )
[ INT. SHAFT, DAY ]
The Doctor: You've got to admire their efficiency.
Clara: Is it OK if I don't?
[ INT. SHIP, DAY ]
( The booth comes to a rest in an open room that has been unused for so long, it has turned to rust. The HALF-FACE MAN is sitting on a chair in the middle of the room, his back to the shaft. There are figures standing in alcoves around the room. )
The Doctor: Hello? Hello, are you the manager? I demand to speak to the manager.
Clara: This is not a real restaurant, is it?
The Doctor: Well... it's more a sort of automated organ collection station for the unwary diner. Sweeney Todd without the pies.
Clara: So, where are we now?
The Doctor: Factually, an ancient spaceship, probably buried for centuries, functionally... a larder.
Clara: So why hasn't somebody come for us?
The Doctor: We're alive.
Clara: We're alive in a larder.
The Doctor: Exactly. It's cheaper than freezing us.
Clara: OK.
( The DOCTOR leans forward, the sonic screwdriver peeking out from under the coat. )
The Doctor: Are you ready?
Clara: Go for it.
The Doctor: Don't let it roll away.
Clara: No.
The Doctor: We've got one sh*t at this.
Clara: Next time, make one that doesn't roll.
The Doctor: Go!
( The DOCTOR shakes the sonic loose and it falls to the floor. CLARA tries to reach it with her feet. )
The Doctor: Got it?
Clara: I can only just about reach.
The Doctor: ( softly ) Oh, it's at times like this I miss Amy.
Clara: Who?
The Doctor: Nothing.
( CLARA grips the sonic between her shoes. )
Clara: Ready?
The Doctor: Don't miss!
( CLARA kicks up the sonic and it lands in a rather sensitive spot in the DOCTOR'S lap. )
The Doctor: Oh-h!
Clara: Oh. Sorry, did I hit... something?
The Doctor: Oh, the symbolism!
( The DOCTOR picks up the sonic with his fingers and uses it on the restraints. )
Clara: ( stands ) You should make that thing voice-activated. Oh, for God's sake, it is, isn't it?
The Doctor: I don't want to talk about it.
( They spot one of the figures in an alcove. It is dressed like a Mandarin. )
Clara: Doctor?
The Doctor: ( studies it up close ) Dormant.
Clara: How do you know?
The Doctor: I don't. I'm just hoping.
( They look around cautiously. )
Clara: So... is it these guys that k*lled the dinosaur?
The Doctor: Well, if they're harvesting organs, a dinosaur would have some great stuff.
Clara: Why would robots need organs? Burke and Hare from space?
The Doctor: No, but that's a good theory. Droids harvesting spare parts. That rings a bell.
( They stop and look at the HALF-FACE MAN as he sits still in a chair. )
The Doctor: Captain, my Captain.
Clara: Can he see us?
The Doctor: Dormant.
Clara: Hoping?
The Doctor: Yep. Oh, look! ( hurries to the chair and lifts a wire ) He's recharging. He's asleep. ( waves fingers in front of the other's face ) Doesn't even know we're here.
Clara: Are you sure?
The Doctor: Sure, not sure - one or the other.
Clara: ( peers at the HALF-FACE MAN ) OK, so half-man, half-robot. A cyborg, yeah?
The Doctor: Oh.
Clara: Oh?
The Doctor: Oh-h.
Clara: Oh?
The Doctor: Look at the hands.
Clara: What about them?
The Doctor: Look at them.
Clara: I'm looking.
The Doctor: ( holds up both hands ) They don't match. These hands don't belong to the same body.
Clara: I don't understand.
The Doctor: I don't blame you. See, this...this is not your normal cyborg. This isn't a man turning himself into a robot. This is a robot turning himself... into a man, piece by piece.
Clara: That's what the restaurant's for.
The Doctor: Well, it would need a constant supply of spare parts. You can tan skin, but organs rot. Some of that metalwork looks Roman. Wonder how long it's been around, how much of the original is even left. The eyeballs look very fresh, though. Eugh!
( The HALF-FACE MAN'S arms move and the DOCTOR and CLARA jump back. )
Clara: Aggh!
( The HALF-FACE MAN places his hands on the arm of the chair. We can see the clockwork gears turning in his head. )
Clara: Is it awake?
The Doctor: It's waking up... I think.
( CLARA motions with her hands for them to leave. )
The Doctor: OK, let's go.
( They move slowly and quietly through an open door. The DOCTOR stops and turns back through. )
The Doctor: I've seen this before. I'm missing something!
Clara: Doctor!
The Doctor: It's the brand-new head, rebooting! ( taps his head ) Come on! I've seen this before!
( CLARA hurries back and guides him back towards the door. )
Clara: Oh, hurry up, get out. ( pushes him through the doorway )
( The HALF-FACE MAN begins to move as CLARA looks back. The door slides closed leaving CLARA trapped. )
Clara: Doctor!
( The DOCTOR uses the sonic on the door and it rises partway but not enough for CLARA to get through. )
Clara: Quickly!
( Through the window, the DOCTOR sees the HALF-FACE MAN unplug himself. )
The Doctor: Sorry, too slow. There's no point in them catching us both.
Clara: Well, give me the screwdriver!
The Doctor: I might need it. ( uses the sonic to close the door )
( They look at each other through the window and then the door leaves. )
Clara: Doctor? ( looks over and sees HALF-FACE MAN walk to booth ) Oh!
( CLARA presses herself into the indentation by the door to hide. When the HALF-FACE MAN turns away, CLARA tries to escape by another door. She finds an empty alcove and takes up position like the other robots. The Chinese robot bends to look at her. CLARA remembers the DOCTOR'S words from the restaurant. )
The Doctor ( v.o. ): 'Something else they're not doing.'
[ INT. RESTAURANT, DAY ]
The Doctor: ( pulls another hair from CLARA and drops it ) Breathing.
[ INT. SHIP, DAY ]
( The HALF-FACE MAN strides towards CLARA. )
[ INT. RESTAURANT, DAY ]
The Doctor: How long can you hold your breath?
[ INT. SHIP, DAY ]
( CLARA takes a deep breath and holds it. The HALF-FACE MAN stops and tilts his head. CLARA'S eyes open wide and her brow furrows. The HALF-FACE MAN walks away. A tear falls down CLARA'S cheek as she watches the Chinese robot move away. In order to fit in, she walks with jerky movements towards the now open door and into the hall beyond. )
[ INT. SHIP, HALL, DAY ]
( CLARA walks down the hall still holding her breath. There are robots lining both sides of the hall. She runs around the corner and struggles holding her breath. She can barely keep walking and her face perspires and her eyes water. Her vision starts to go as she begins to see red. Soon she can't hold it any longer and she gasps for breath as she falls to the floor. )
Half-face man: Bring her.
( As a robot picks her up and drags her to the main room, CLARA begins to hallucinate, flashing back to her first day teaching and the students are unruly. )
[ INT. SCHOOLROOM, DAY ]
( CLARA stands at the front of the class but the students ignore her. )
Clara: All right, stop. Stop it, all of you, now.
Male student: Ha-ha! It's her first day.
Clara: If you don't stop it, I'm going to have each and every single one of you kicked out of this school!
Female student: Go on, then. Do it!
[ INT. SHIP, DAY ]
( CLARA comes to lying on the floor in front of the HALF-FACE MAN sitting in his chair. )
Half-face man: Where is the other one? There was another. Where is he? Where is the other? You will tell us... or you will be destroyed.
Clara: What did you say?
Half-face man: You will tell us.
Clara: Yeah, I know, or what?
Half-face man: You will die.
[ INT. SCHOOLROOM, DAY ]
Female student: Go on, then. Do it!
Clara: ( stands ) Go on, then. Do it. I'm not going to answer any of your questions, so you have to do it. You have to k*ll me. Threats don't work unless you deliver.
Half-face man: You will tell us where the other one is.
Clara: Nope.
Half-face man: You will be destroyed.
Clara: Destroy me, then. And if you don't, then... I not going to believe a single thr*at you make from now on. Of course, if I'm dead, then... I can't tell you where the other one went, then... You need to keep this place down here a secret, don't you? Never start with your final sanction. You've got nowhere to go but backwards.
Half-face man: Humans feel pain.
Clara: Bigger thr*at to smaller thr*at - see what I mean? Backwards.
Half-face man: The information can be extracted by means of your suffering.
Clara: Are you trying to scare me? Well, cos I'm already bloody terrified of dying... and I'll endure a lot of pain for a very long time before I give up the information that's keeping me alive. How long have you got?
( HALF-FACE MAN stands. )
Clara: All you can offer me is my life - what you can't do is thr*aten it. You can negotiate.
( HALF-FACE MAN removes his right hand and lifts it to where it grips his lapel. )
Clara: ( backs away ) OK, OK, OK! OK, yes, yes, yes, I'm crying and it's just because I am very frightened of you. If you know anything about human beings, that means you... ( points a finger at him ) you're in a lot trouble.
( HALF-FACE MAN attaches a blowtorch to his arm and holds it out towards CLARA. )
Half-face man: We will not negotiate.
Clara: You don't have a choice. I tell you what, I'll answer your questions if you answer mine.
Half-face man: We will not answer questions.
Clara: We'll take turns, I'll go first. Why did you k*ll the dinosaur?
Half-face man: We will not answer questions.
Clara: Why did you k*ll the dinosaur?
Half-face man: We will not answer questions!
Clara: Then you might as well k*ll me, because I'm not talking again till you do. ( looks away )
( After a moment, the HALF-FACE MAN lowers the torch. )
Half-face man: Within the optic nerve of the dinosaur is material of use to our computer systems.
Clara: You b*rned a whole dinosaur for a spare part? No, no, hang on. You know what's in a dinosaur's optic nerve, which means you've seen them before.
Half-face man: Where is the other one?
Clara: How long have you been rebuilding yourselves? Look at the state of you! Is there any real you left? What's the point?
Half-face man: We will reach the Promised Land.
Clara: The what? The Promised Land? What's that?
Half-face man: Where is the other one?
Clara: I don't know. But I know where he will be...where he will always be. If the Doctor is still the Doctor... he will have my back. ( slowly reaches her right hand behind her back ) I'm right, aren't I? Go on. Please, please, God, say I'm right.
( Her hand is gripped and she's is pulled away. It is the same figure who carried her down the hall and placed her on the floor. Hands reach up to peel off the face and reveal the DOCTOR. )
The Doctor: Hello, hello, rubbish robots from the dawn of time, thank you for all the gratuitous information. Five foot one and crying - you never stood a chance. ( slaps down HALF-FACE MAN'S torch hand ) Stop it! ( presses sonic into power source ) This is your power source, and feeble though it is, I can use it to blow this whole room if I see one thing that I don't like, and that includes karaoke and mime, so take no chances. See, Clara? ( throws face at CLARA who catches it ) That's how you disguise yourself as a Droid.
Clara: Yeah, well, I didn't have a lot of time, I'd been suddenly abandoned!
The Doctor: Sorry. Well, no, actually I'm not, you're brilliant on adrenaline. And you were out of your depth, sir. Never try and control a control freak.
Clara: I am not a control freak! ( throws down face )
The Doctor: Yes, ma'am.
Clara: Oh!
Half-face man: Why are you here?
The Doctor: Why did you invite us? The message, in the paper... that was you, wasn't it?
( The HALF-FACE MAN looks at the DOCTOR, tilting his head. )
The Doctor: Oh. I hate being wrong in public. Everybody forget that happened. ( walks over to CLARA ) Clara, say the word.
Clara: What word?
( They back away from the advancing HALF-FACE MAN. )
The Doctor: They never sent you in here without a word.
Clara: I don't want to say it.
The Doctor: I've guessed already.
( CLARA presses a finger to her brooch as she and the DOCTOR speak in unison. )
Both: Geronimo!
( From an opening in the ceiling, VASTRA and JENNY perform an aerial drop as they unroll with a silk sash. They both land gracefully and unsheathe their weapons. )
Vastra: Remain still and lay down your weapons, in the name of the British Empire!
( With a cry, STRAX falls to the floor as he tries to copy the same stunt. )
Vastra: Strax!
Strax: Sorry.
Jenny: I've told you before - take the stairs.
The Doctor: ( to CLARA ) Oh, look. The cavalry.
Half-face man: ( advancing ) I b*rned an ancient, beautiful creature for one inch of optic nerve. What do you think you can accomplish, little man?
The Doctor: What do you? Vastra?
Vastra: ( blocks HALF-FACE MAN'S arm ) The establishment upstairs has been disabled with maximum prejudice, and the authorities summoned.
Clara: Hang on, she called the police? We never do that, we should start.
The Doctor: ( standing behind VASTRA ) You see? Destroy us if you will, they're still going to close your restaurant. That was going to sound better.
Half-face man: Then we will destroy you. ( motions to other robots )
( The other robots step out of the alcoves, blades attached to their arms. The door opens to the hall allowing others inside. VASTRA pushes the HALF-FACE MAN away. He then advances with the others behind him. The DOCTOR and CLARA back away, VASTRA between them and the robots. )
The Doctor: No, you won't. You're logical. You have restraint. You k*ll to survive - you're not a m*rder*r.
Clara: He's not a what? This is a slaughterhouse.
The Doctor: And how does that make it different from any other restaurant? You weren't vegetarian the last time I checked. This is over. k*lling us won't change that. What would be the point?
Half-face man: To find the Promised Land.
The Doctor: You're millions of years old, it's time you knew - there isn't one.
Half-face man: I am in search of paradise.
The Doctor: Yeah, well, me too. I'm not going to make it either.
( The HALF-FACE MAN backhands the DOCTOR and he falls to the floor, the sonic slipping from his pocket. )
Clara: Doctor! ( kneels beside him )
( The HALF-FACE MAN walks over to the booth at the base of the shaft. )
Half-face man: I will leave in the escape capsule. Destroy where necessary.
Vastra: Escape capsule? This ship is millions of years old, it'll never fly.
Half-face man: It has been repaired.
Vastra: What with?
Half-face man: You.
Strax: Defensive positions everyone.
( VASTRA, JENNY and STRAX surround the DOCTOR and CLARA as the robots encircle them. )
Clara: Doctor! He's getting away!
[ INT. SHAFT, DAY ]
( The booth starts up the shaft. )
Half-face man: Your friend is intelligent. He'll know better than to follow me.
( The DOCTOR holds on to a bar underneath the booth as it goes up. )
[ EXT. RESTAURANT, DAY ]
( The INSPECTOR arrives with two constables. )
Inspector: Right, here we are, this is the place, come with me.
( They enter the restaurant. )
[ INT. SHIP, DAY ]
( CLARA, VASTRA, JENNY and STRAX stand in a circle, backs to each other. )
Vastra: It is our intent to leave. If it is your intent to stop us, perhaps we should get down to business.
[ INT. RESTAURANT, DAY ]
( The INSPECTOR and the constables enter the dining room. He removes his hat, a stunned expression on his face. We see the "bodies" of the robots on the floor. )
Inspector: Dear Lord, what has she landed us with this time?
( The HALF-FACE MAN arrives and stands. )
Half-face man: The restaurant is closed. ( he lights the torch )
( The police hurry through the doors. )
[ EXT. RESTAURANT, DAY ]
Inspector: ( puts hat back on ) Keep everyone out. No-one goes in there!
[ INT. RESTAURANT, DAY ]
( Two glasses of whisky are poured. The HALF-FACE MAN turns around and sees the DOCTOR sitting at the table. )
Half-face man: What are you doing?
The Doctor: I've got the horrible feeling I'm going to have to k*ll you. I thought you might appreciate a drink first. I know I would. ( sips whisky )
( The HALF-FACE MAN pulls down a lever on the control panel. )
[ EXT. RESTAURANT, DAY ]
( The police look up as the building shakes and the roof opens. )
Inspector: Watch out!
[ INT. RESTAURANT, DAY ]
( Some dust falls as the DOCTOR rises and walks over to the HALF-FACE MAN. )
The Doctor: 51st century, right? Time travelling spaceship, crashed in the past. You're trying to get home the long way round.
Half-face man: I go to the Promised Land.
The Doctor: So you keep saying.
( The HALF-FACE MAN presses another lever. )
The Doctor: OK, so your restaurant is made out of your old ship, ( picks up bouquet of roses ) but you're wasting your time, it can't ever fly.
Half-face man: The escape pod is viable.
The Doctor: How? You can't patch up a spaceship with human remains. You know, this really is ringing a bell.
( The HALF-FACE MAN presses a series of buttons and the building shakes and more dust falls. )
The Doctor: OK, that's clever. How are you powering it? ( strides to the control panel )
Half-face man: Skin.
[ EXT. RESTAURANT, DAY ]
( A large balloon emerges from the roof. )
Inspector: Get to the station! We need more men!
Constable: What shall I tell them is happening?
Inspector: ( shoves CONSTABLE ) Go!
[ INT. SHIP, DAY ]
( JENNY and VASTRA converse as they fight. )
Vastra: How many do you estimate, my dear?
Jenny: More than upstairs, about 20, 30?
Vastra: The ones upstairs were mere decoys. These are battle-ready. I anticipate a challenge.
Strax: ( to CLARA while f*ring laser ) Don't worry, my boy, we shall die in glory!
Clara: OK. Good-o!
[ EXT. RESTAURANT, DAY ]
( A square escape capsule is tethered to the balloon as he floats away over London. )
[ INT. ESCAPE POD, DAY ]
( The DOCTOR pulls one of the fuses. It bears the name "SS Marie Antoinette". )
The Doctor: ( backs away ) "SS Marie Antoinette." Out-of-control repair Droids, cannibalising human beings. I know that this is familiar, but I just can't seem to place it.
Half-face man: How would you k*ll me?
The Doctor: "Sister ship of the Madame De Pompadour." ( sniffs flowers ) Nope, not getting it.
Half-face man: How would you k*ll me?
The Doctor: Why don't you have a drink first? It's only human.
Half-face man: I am not human.
The Doctor: Neither am I.
[ INT. SHIP, DAY ]
( The fight goes on. However, no matter how hard they strike, the robots stand back up and continue the fight. )
Strax: Why can't you stay dead, coward!
( STRAX laughs, invigorated by the battle. VASTRA and JENNY keep pushing the robots away. )
[ EXT. LONDON, DAY ]
( The escape capsule floats over London. )
[ INT. ESCAPE POD, DAY ]
( The DOCTOR and the HALF-FACE MAN sit at the table and watch the city go by below. )
The Doctor: What do you think of the view?
Half-face man: I do not think of it.
The Doctor: I don't think of it. I don't. Droids and apostrophes, I could write a book, except you are... barely a Droid any more. There's more human in you than machine. So tell me...what do you think of the view?
Half-face man: ( walks to window and moves curtain ) It is beautiful.
The Doctor: ( stands and walks to the window ) No, it isn't. It's just far away. Everything looks too small. I prefer it down there. Everything is huge. Everything is so important. Every detail, every moment, every life clung to.
Half-face man: How could you k*ll me?
The Doctor: For the same reason that you're asking me that question - because you don't really want to carry on. ( walks away ) What'll happen to the other Droids when you die? You're the control node, aren't you? Presumably they'll deactivate.
Half-face man: I will not die. I will reach the Promised Land.
The Doctor: There isn't any Promised Land. This is just... It's a superstition that you have picked up from all the humanity you've stuffed inside yourself.
Half-face man: I am not dead.
The Doctor: You are a broom. Question - you take a broom, you replace the handle, and then later you replace the brush and you do that over and over again. Is it still the same broom? Answer - no, of course it isn't. But you can still sweep the floor. Which is not strictly relevant, skip that last part. You have replaced every piece of yourself, mechanical and organic, time and time again - there's not a trace of the original you left. ( holds up silver platter ) You probably can't even remember where you got that face from.
( The HALF-FACE MAN takes the platter and looks into it. On the other side, the DOCTOR'S new face is reflected back at him. The HALF-FACE MAN throws the platter onto a table. )
Half-face man: It cannot end.
The Doctor: It has to. You know it does. And there's only one way out. ( opens the doors )
Half-face man: Self-destruction is against my basic program.
( The HALF-FACE MAN raises his hand to strike the DOCTOR while his back is turned. )
The Doctor: And m*rder is against mine!
( The DOCTOR turns just in time to block the HALF-FACE MAN and the two struggle in front of the open doors. )
[ INT. SHIP, DAY ]
( The group are surrounded by robots and disarmed. VASTRA tries in vain to spot JENNY. )
Vastra: Jenny!
Clara: Hold your breath! They're stupid. Everybody hold their breath.
( Everyone holds their breath and the robots pull away their weapons and pause. CLARA finds the sonic and crawls away. VASTRA makes her way to JENNY who is struggling holding her breath. )
Jenny: 'I can't do it. I can't.'
Vastra: 'Be brave, my love. I can store oxygen in my lungs. Share with me!' ( kisses JENNY )
( CLARA tries to use the sonic on the door but it won't work. )
[ INT. ESCAPE POD, DAY ]
( The DOCTOR presses the HALF-FACE MAN against the door. )
Half-face man: You are stronger than you look.
The Doctor: And I'm hoping you are too. This... is over. Are you capable of admitting that?
Half-face man: Do you have it in you to m*rder me?
The Doctor: Those people down there, they're never small to me. Don't make assumptions about how far I will go to protect them, because I've already come a very long way. And unlike you, I don't expect to reach the Promised Land.
( The HALF-FACE MAN switches off the torch and lowers his arm. The DOCTOR backs away to the opposite door. )
The Doctor: You realise, of course, one of us is lying about our basic programming.
Half-face man: Yes.
The Doctor: And I think we both know who that is.
( They continue the stand-off. )
[ INT. SHIP, DAY ]
( STRAX struggles to raise his w*apon. )
Vastra: Stop!
( They all release their breath and CLARA shakes the sonic as the robots reach out for her. Blades are pointed at STRAX. All of a sudden, the robots shut down. Their bodies collapse to the floor. )
[ EXT. LONDON, WESTMINSTER CLOCK TOWER, DAY ]
( The HALF-FACE MAN'S hat falls in slow motion in front of the clock face. We pan up to see him impaled on the spire. )
[ INT. ESCAPE POD, DAY ]
( The DOCTOR stares out the door. )
[ INT. CARRIAGE, DAY ]
( CLARA looks anxiously at JENNY and VASTRA during the drive. )
[ EXT. COURTYARD, DAY ]
( STRAX brings the carriage to a halt. )
Strax: Whoa.
( The passengers disembark from the carriage. )
Jenny: You're sure he'd come back here?
Vastra: There was no trace of him in the wreckage, they searched all Parliament Hill. Where else would he go?
( CLARA looks down on the ground. There is a perfect square marked out against the straw. )
Vastra: I fear we have missed him.
( CLARA looks up to the sky. )
[ INT. VASTRA and JENNY'S, CONSERVATORY, DAY ]
( VASTRA is standing in silent contemplation before opening her eyes and rubbing her hands. )
Vastra: Please come in.
( VASTRA turns around to see CLARA back in her normal clothes. )
Clara: I'm not interrupting?
Vastra: I should be glad of your company. What can I do for you?
Clara: Ah, well, that's exactly what I was going to ask you. Seems like I'm stuck here now. Got a vacancy?
Vastra: ( walks to CLARA ) You would be very welcome to join our little household, but I have it on the highest authority that the Doctor will be returning for you very soon.
Clara: Whose authority?
Vastra: Well, the person who knows him best in all the universe.
Clara: And who's that?
Vastra: Miss Clara Oswald... who perhaps has, by instinct, already dressed to leave.
Clara: I just wanted a change of clothes. I don't think I know who the Doctor is any more.
( We hear the TARDIS materialize. )
Vastra: It would seem, my dear, you are very wrong about that.
( CLARA runs towards the sound. )
Vastra: Clara! Give him hell. He'll always need it.
( CLARA hurries from the room. )
[ EXT. COURTYARD, DAY ]
( CLARA comes to a halt when she sees the TARDIS. She enters. )
[ INT. TARDIS ]
( The TARDIS has had a bit of a make-over. The upper level is now lined with bookshelves and the DOCTOR is sitting in a leather chair. )
Clara: You've redecorated.
The Doctor: Yes.
Clara: I don't like it.
The Doctor: Not completely entirely convinced myself. I think there should be more round things on the walls. I used to have lots of round things. I wonder where I put them.
( CLARA stays down by the console. The DOCTOR stands and slowly goes down the steps. )
The Doctor: I'm the Doctor. I've lived for over 2,000 years and not all of them were good. I've made many mistakes, ( rounds the other side of the console to face her ) and it's about time that I did something about that. Clara, I'm not your boyfriend.
Clara: I never thought you were.
The Doctor: I never said it was your mistake.
( The DOCTOR puts the TARDIS in motion and then shows off his new clothes – a black suit with a red-lined jacket. )
The Doctor: What do you think?
( She doesn't say anything. She takes a few steps away before turning back. )
Clara: Who put that advert in the paper?
The Doctor: Who gave you my number? A long time ago, remember? You were given the number of a computer helpline, and you ended up phoning the TARDIS. Who gave you that number?
Clara: The woman. The woman in the shop.
The Doctor: Then there's a woman out there who's very keen that we stay together.
( The TARDIS materializes. )
The Doctor: How do you feel on the subject?
Clara: Am I home?
The Doctor: If you want to be. ( smiles )
Clara: I'm sorry. I'm... I'm so, so sorry... but I don't think I know who you are any more.
( CLARA'S phone rings. )
The Doctor: You'd better get that. It might be your boyfriend.
Clara: Shut up. ( takes phone out of pocket ) I don't have a boyfriend. ( exits )
( The DOCTOR watches her leave. )
[ EXT. STREET, DAY ]
( CLARA steps out of the TARDIS and steps out of the way as she answers. )
Clara: Hello! Hello?
Male voice: 'It's me.'
Clara: Yes, it's you, who's this?
Male voice: 'It's me, Clara. The Doctor.'
Clara: What do you mean, the Doctor?
CONTINUED, INTERCUT WITH –
- CUT TO:
[ INT. TARDIS, TRENZALORE ]
( The 11th DOCTOR is on the phone. )
Eleven: I'm phoning you from Trenzalore...
Clara: I don't...
Eleven: '..from before I changed.
FLASHBACK
[ EXT. TRENZALORE ]
( CLARA walks to the TARDIS and sees the phone dangling. She replaces it. )
Eleven ( v.o. ): I mean it's all still to happen for me, it's coming. Oh, it's a-coming...
Eleven: Not long now. I can... feel it.
( CLARA holds the phone to her chest, fighting back tears. She takes a breath before speaking again. )
Clara: Why? Why would you do this?
Eleven: Because I think it's going to be a whopper and I think you might be scared. And however scared you are, Clara, the man you are with right now, the man I hope you are with, believe me, he is more scared than anything you can imagine right now and he...he needs you.
( The DOCTOR stands by the open TARDIS door. )
The Doctor: So who is it?
Eleven: Is that the Doctor?
The Doctor: Is that the Doctor?
Clara: Yes.
Eleven: He sounds old. Please tell me I didn't get old. Anything but old! I was young. Oh... Is he grey?
Clara: Yes.
Eleven: Clara, please, eh, for me, help him. Go on...and don't be afraid.
( The DOCTOR closes the TARDIS door and walks over. )
Eleven: Goodbye, Clara. Miss you.
( CLARA ends the call and wipes her tears. )
The Doctor: Well?
Clara: ( faces him ) Well, what?
The Doctor: He asked you a question. Will you help me?
Clara: You shouldn't have been listening.
The Doctor: I wasn't. I didn't need to. That was me talking. ( starts back to the TARDIS then stops and turns ) You can't see me, can you? You look at me, and you can't see me. Have you any idea what that's like? I'm not on the phone, I'm right here... standing in front of you. Please, just... just see me.
( CLARA walks over slowly and looks up, studying his face. )
Clara: ( smiles ) Thank you.
The Doctor: For what?
Clara: Phoning. ( hugs him )
The Doctor: I... I don't think that I'm a hugging person now. ( holds hands out behind her back )
Clara: I'm not sure you get a vote.
The Doctor: Whatever you say.
Clara: This isn't my home, by the way.
The Doctor: Sorry, I'm sorry about that, I missed.
Clara: ( ends hug ) Where are we?
The Doctor: Glasgow, I think.
Clara: Ah! You'll fit right in. ( accent ) Scottish.
The Doctor: Right, shall we, er... Do you want to go and get some coffee or... chips or... something, or chips and coffee?
Clara: Coffee. Coffee would be great. You're buying! ( starts down the pavement )
The Doctor: I don't have any money. ( follows )
Clara: You're fetching, then.
The Doctor: I'm not sure that I'm the fetching sort...
Clara: Yeah, still not sure you get a vote.
( They walk away side-by-side. )
[ EXT. GARDEN ]
( The HALF-FACE MAN wakes, sits up and puts on his hat. A WOMAN looking very proper in Edwardian garb (similar to Mary Poppins) is sitting on the edge of a fountain. )
Woman: Hello! ( stands ) I'm Missy. You made it. ( walks over and joins him on the porch ) I hope my boyfriend wasn't too mean to you.
Half-face man: Boy...friend?
Missy: ( takes his hand and guides him to sit ) Now did he push you out of that thing, or did you fall? Couldn't really tell. He can be very mean sometimes, ( pats his hand ) except to me, of course, because he... loves me so much. I do like his new accent, though. Think I might keep it.
Half-face man: Where am I?
Missy: Well, where do you think you are? Look around you, you made it. The Promised Land. Paradise! ( stands and walks out to fountain ) Welcome... to Heaven.
( MISSY snaps her teeth like a bite. She the looks skyward, arms out to her side. She then twirls the umbrella before spinning around the garden. )
08x01 - Deep Breath
Moderator: Kitty Midnight
Time and Space traveling adventures of a Gallifreyan Time Lord only known as "the Doctor" and his companions.
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Classic Who Specials
Watch/Buy Amazon Merchandise Collectibles
Classic Who Specials