08x10 - In the Forest of the Night

Episode transcripts for the 2005 TV show "Doctor Who". (Ninth to Twelfth Doctor)*

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Time and Space traveling adventures of a Gallifreyan Time Lord only known as "the Doctor" and his companions.

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08x10 - In the Forest of the Night

Post by bunniefuu »

[ In a forest ]

( rustling )

( she pants )

Maebh: I'm lost. Please, can you help me?

The Doctor: It's that way. Are those trees?

Maebh: I need the Doctor. Are you the Doctor?

The Doctor: Yes. Do you have an appointment? You need an appointment to see the Doctor.

Maebh: Please. Something's chasing me.

[ TARDIS ]

( she gasps in wonder )

The Doctor: When you drink a glass of Coke, it's only this big, but it's actually got this much sugar in it. It works a bit like that.

Maebh: What does?

The Doctor: The TARDIS. It's bigger on the inside than the outside, or did you not notice?

Maebh: I just thought it was supposed to be bigger on the inside, so I didn't say anything.

The Doctor: Well, of course it's supposed to be bigger. Most people are confused by that.

Maebh: I find everything confusing, nearly. So, I don't say anything. That's how come I'm in the woods. I thought Miss Oswald told me to find the Doctor. But it wasn't her. It was just in my head.

The Doctor: Miss Oswald? Dark hair? Highly unpredictable? Surprisingly round face?

Maebh: Everyone says she's in love with Mister Pink.

The Doctor: The PE teacher.

Maebh: Maths. I really like him. I was in his group.

The Doctor: Mister Pink was looking after you? Well, that explains why you're lost. It doesn't surprise you that I know all about your school?

Maebh: Everyone seems to know everything about everything, apart from me.

The Doctor: That's not quite true. I, for instance, have no idea why, when the terrestrial navigation... The terrestrial navigation starts up, it closes down all the other systems.

Maebh: You should ask somebody who knows.

The Doctor: Hmm. That's another of the drawbacks of being the last of your species. No one to ask when your TARDIS won't start.

( metallic thrumming )

Navigation system: You have reached your destination.

The Doctor: No, we haven't. We're supposed to be in the middle of London.

Navigation system: You have reached your destination.

The Doctor: Oh, stop saying that!

Maebh: She's only saying it because it's true. We are in the middle of London.

The Doctor: We are in the middle of a forest.

Maebh: Come and see.

[ Trafalgar Square ]

Maebh: Nelson's Column. Do you like it?

The Doctor: Do I. Sorry, what?

Maebh: Do you like the forest being in Trafalgar Square? I think it's lovely.

[ Zoo Museum ]

Samson: Bradley! Sir! Tell him, sir! He's blinding me.

Danny: Give me that, Bradley.

Bradley: I'm allowed a torch, sir. I've got a note. I'm darkness phobic.

Samson: Just because he's scared of the dark, sir, is he allowed to blind me?

Danny: You're allowed a torch, Bradley, not a pocket supernova. OK, listen up. A few things to run through before we head home. Put your phone away, Bradley. Thank you. First, collect any rubbish you may have generated through midnight feasts or whatever...

Danny: Hello? Hello?

Ruby: Look at this. Why is this one so fat, miss?

Clara: Because it was alive so long.

Ruby: This ring, though. All the other rings are thin, but this one's fat and red, see?

Clara: Must have been a good year to be a tree.

George: I should have been relieved, you know.

Danny: Oh, Coal Hill School. Sleepover.

George: Sh, sh!

( keypad beeps )

( electronic lock beeps )

George: Hang on. There's a knack to this.

Danny: No, no, no, no, no. It moved. It moved. It's jammed, it's not locked. Come on, team.

Bradley: What team?

Samson: Wow! Sir, where are we?

Danny: What do you mean, where are we?

[ Ext. Zoo Museum ]

Ruby: We can't have been asleep for that long, can we?

Jenny Hill: Well, you've heard of leaves on the line. This is going to be slightly harder to clear

Accra Reporter: In three hours' time, the Ghana Black Stars are due to play Sierra Leone in the African Cup of Nations.

Paris Reporter: Est-ce que c'est bien le Bois de Boulogne? Non, c'est le centre-ville.

Accra Reporter: It does not look like the pitch will be ready.

Clara: You're always showing me amazing things. Well, I, Doctor, have finally got something amazing to show you.

[ TARDIS ]

The Doctor: Yes, well, there are some things I've never seen, but that's usually because I've chosen not to see them. Even my incredibly long life is too short for Les Miserables.

Clara (O.C.): Oh, Doctor.

[ Bus stop ]

Clara: You're going to love this.

The Doctor (O.C.): Well, when you come to collect this child, you can tell me then.

Clara: Huh? What child?

[ TARDIS ]

The Doctor: Young female human. Standard defenceless little girl. Your friend Mister Pink was supposed to be looking after her.

[ Bus stop ]

Clara: She probably has a name.

[ TARDIS ]

The Doctor: Good point. You. Have you got a name at all?

Maebh: Maebh. My name's Maebh.

[ Bus stop ]

Clara: What? Maebh?

[ TARDIS ]

Clara (O.C.): Where are you?

The Doctor: Trafalgar...

[ Bus stop ]

The Doctor (O.C.): ...Square. I found her wandering around the...

[ TARDIS ]

The Doctor: ...brand new forest.

[ Bus stop ]

Clara: Brand new forest?

The Doctor (O.C.): Yes. It's like the...

[ TARDIS ]

The Doctor: ...New Forest, except even newer.

[ Bus stop ]

Clara: Is that the forest that's covering London?

The Doctor (O.C.): Was that the amazing thing you were going to show me?'

[ TARDIS ]

The Doctor: It is amazing, but I saw it first.

[ Bus stop ]

Clara: Look, is she all right? Will you bring her over?

The Doctor: No, I can't...

[ TARDIS ]

The Doctor: ...bring her over. I'm a Time Lord, not a childminder.

Clara (O.C.): You've got a spaceship.

[ Bus stop ]

Clara: All we've got are Oyster cards.

The Doctor (O.C.): And...

[ TARDIS ]

The Doctor: ...I've got a global rapid afforestation crisis to deal with.

[ Zoo Museum ]

Danny: What did they say?

Clara: Who?

Danny: The school. Parents. You were just on the phone.

Clara: Oh, yeah. Rang school and parents. Yes, of course. Thought that was the priority.

Danny: And?

Clara: And I couldn't get through. Left messages. I'll try again.

Danny: You didn't call the school. You called him.

Clara: No, he called me, actually. I can't stop him calling me, can I?

Danny: I thought you weren't in contact.

Clara: London has just been taken over by a gigantic forest. Who do you want to talk to, Monty Don?

Danny: I want to do my job, which is looking after these kids.

Clara: Oh, really? How many kids?

Danny: What?

Clara: Where's Maebh Arden?

Clara: She's with the Doctor.

Danny: What? No, no, no, no, no. Maebh is a vulnerable kid. She's on medication. She's had an emotional trauma. He. Has he even been CRB checked?

Clara: He didn't abduct her. She was lost. He found her.

Bradley: I thought you said they were in love. Why are they shouting at each other?

Ruby: That's what people do when they're in love. Don't you know anything?

[ Cromwell Road ]

Samson: Where are we actually going? Where is he taking us?

Danny: Who wants to be a navigator?

Children: Me, me, me!

Danny: Good lad. Let's do this.

Bradley: What's an avigator?

Danny: We'll follow the lamp posts. That will keep us on Cromwell Road. We'll be able to orientate ourselves.

Ruby: I thought we were getting a coach. Where's the coach?

Danny: Well, Ruby, it seems there are a lot of trees in the way.

Ruby: Why can't we just wait here until they've gone?

Danny: Because trees don't just disappear, Ruby.

Ruby: They just came. Why wouldn't they just go?

Clara: The question is, how did they get here? Can a forest grow overnight, or have we been asleep for years, like Sleeping Beauty?

Danny: No, the question is, how are we going to get these kids home?

Clara: Oh, absolutely. Yeah. That is the big question.

Danny: OK, team. It's crucial we stick together. If you start to fall behind, don't. Bradley, we're going to head north east first to collect Maebh from Trafalgar Square, then we're going south to the river. Come on, keep up!

Ruby: What's he talking about? Where are we going?

Clara: You are enjoying this just a little bit too much. Come on. Are you not even a little bit curious about how? Who? Why? When?

Danny: I am curious. I am bewildered. I am, in fact, enchanted. But I'm not the priority. The kids are.

Clara: You see, now, that attitude is (quietly) actually very attractive.

Minister (on TV): The Government emergency committee, COBRA, has formulated an action plan. We will create pathways through the trees using carefully controlled fires. This will facilitate the movement of essential services.

[ Trafalgar Square ]

Minister (on phone): We are therefore asking you to stay in your homes. Fill your baths, sinks, and any buckets with fresh water.

The Doctor: Why would there be no reading? Because they are actually made of wood. No circuits. No mechanism. Wood.

Maebh: What's this for?

The Doctor: This is a sonic screwdriver. It interacts with any form of communication you care to mention. Sadly, trees have no moving parts and don't communicate.

Maebh: They communicate a bit, though.

The Doctor: What?

Maebh: Otherwise they wouldn't all grow at the same time, would they.

The Doctor: So, what, do you think that's how spring begins? With a group message on Tree Facebook? Do you think they send texts to each other?

Maebh: You don't need a phone to communicate, do you. I haven't phoned home, and I know my mum is worried about me.

[ Arden house ]

Maebh's Mom: You said you'd collect Maebh. It's all right, I'm collecting her. Soon as I find my car keys. I can't see a thing. Next door have planted bloody Hydrangeas and they've gone mental! I've had words with her about it before. She's...

Maebh's Mom: Oh. I'll call you back.

[ Brompton Road ]

Ruby: Miss, in the museum, right, I was reading about reproduction...

Clara: Oh, Ruby, this really isn't the right moment

Ruby: ...and that said that trees have blossom, and then that turns into fruit or seeds or nuts. Right?

Clara: Right, Ruby.

Ruby: These trees have got blossom and nuts.

Clara: Oh, yeah. That is strange.

Samson: Nuts. That's unfortunate for you, isn't it, Bradley? You have an allergy, don't you? What if one of them falls on your head? Do you die, or swell up like a massive melon?

Bradley: Shut it!

[ Ext. Arden house ]

Neighbour: I think we should have been consulted. What's it in aid of, even?

Maebh's Mom: How far does this go? I need to collect Maebh.

[ Trafalgar Square ]

Danny: Trafalgar Square. Well done, Bradley. Excellent navigation skills.

Clara: Ah ha! There it is. All sorted now. Come on.

Bradley: Can we take a picture with the lion, sir? Please?

Danny: Er, stay together, but OK.

Clara: I cannot believe Bradley just said please.

Danny: Really?

Clara: Yeah. He usually prefers other means of persuasion.

[ Flashback - English classroom ]

Bradley: Give it! Give it! Miss! He won't lend me his dictionary.

Clara: You could try saying please, Bradley.

Boy: Aagh!

( loud crash )

[ Trafalgar Square ]

Clara: And Ruby...

[ Flashback - Maths classroom ]

Danny: And how do we find X? Ruby?

Ruby: It's there, sir. At the top.

Danny: No, how do we find...

Ruby: It's not lost. It's there at the top, Look!

Danny: No, how do we find the value of X?

Ruby: Why are you asking me all the questions? Give someone else a go.

[ Trafalgar Square ]

( rumbling )

Clara: You bring out the best in them.

Ruby: Look, sir. No rings. Trees usually have rings to tell you how old they are. This one's got no rings. Why's that then, sir?

The Doctor: The rings mark the years of growth. One ring for each year. This grew up overnight. That whole tree is the result of just one night's growth, and they're still growing.

Clara: Everyone, this is the Doctor, and he's going to sort everything out. Isn't that right, Doctor? It's what he does.

The Doctor: Well, having looked at things, I think, probably, the answer to that is no.

Clara: He always says that. He's really clever.

The Doctor: Oh, yes, I am. Very clever. But what use is clever against trees? They don't listen to reason. You can't plead with them. You can't lie to them. They have no moving parts, no circuits. This is a natural event.

Danny: How can it be natural for a tree to grow in one night?

The Doctor: Exactly what they said about the Ice Age. How can whole glaciers just pop up out of nowhere? Well, they just did. That's how this planet grows - a series of catastrophes. Farewell to the Ice Age. Welcome to the Tree Age. Possibly. When the Ice Age was here, you lot managed to cook mammoth. Now there's a forest, you'll just have to eat nuts.

Bradley: I can't eat nuts. I've got an allergy.

Clara: Don't worry. It's a thing he does. He pretends he's not interested and then he has an idea. He's playing for time.

The Doctor: Time. Interesting.

Clara: See? Clever kicking in.

The Doctor: A tree is a time machine. You plant a little acorn in 1795, and in the year 2016, there's an oak tree, there, in the same spot, with a tiny little bit of 1795 still alive inside of it. You can't create an overnight forest with extra special fertiliser. You have to mess with the fabric of time. And communicate with trees.

[ TARDIS ]

Clara: So you're saying it's an act of aggression?

The Doctor: By trees?

Ruby: Er, trees clean the air.

Clara: Exactly. Well done, Ruby. Someone or something who's trying to scrub the atmosphere before colonising or invading. Ah, yes, Doctor. Ahem. This is Coal Hill Year Eight Gifted and Talented Group.

Samson: What are the round bits for?

The Doctor: Ask your teacher. Come on! Down from there! Hey! Away from the console. Come on. That's an antique. Get away from there! Don't touch that!

The Doctor: Haven't any of you been struck by the fact that it's, look, it's bigger on the inside?

Ruby: There wasn't a forest. Then there was a forest. Nothing surprises us any more.

The Doctor: These trees all appeared at once. That wasn't a coincidence. There's no such thing as an arboreal coincidence. Something, someone has coordinated this. To coordinate, you need to communicate. Every communication channel on the TARDIS is open, and nothing.

The Doctor: Except. Let me see that.

Danny: Homework books. Why are these here?

The Doctor: Maebh Arden. Maebh Arden. Which one is Maebh Arden? Which one's Maebh? Maebh? Maebh? Maebh? Maebh? Maebh? Maebh? Maebh? Maebh?

Ruby: Oh, my God. Maebh's gone. Maebh's lost in the forest. Maebh's going to die!

The Doctor: Argh!

Clara: Ruby, that's enough! Doctor?

The Doctor: We've got to find her!

Clara: Yes, I know that we have to find her. Doctor, listen to me. Her sister went missing last year. She's on medication. The child is barely functioning. She hears voices. She's very vulnerable.

The Doctor: What do the voices say?

Clara: I don't know. She takes tablets and they stop.

The Doctor: You people. You never learn. If a child is speaking, listen to it.

Danny: Oh, like you listened to her?

The Doctor: He's right. She was trying to tell me something and I ignored her. Maebh Arden is tuned to a different channel. She can lead us to the source, to the heart of the forest. We have to listen to her. We have to find her.

Clara: Not everything can be fixed with a screwdriver. It's not a magic wand.

The Doctor: Does she have a phone?

Clara: Well, yes, she does.

The Doctor: Have you got the number?

Clara: Er, yep.

The Doctor: Maebh Arden. Five hundred yards south east of here. I'll go get her.

Danny: I'll go with him.

Clara: Oh, I can go. You can...

Danny: You haven't seen him for months?

Clara: Something like that.

Danny: You didn't even say hello. You just sprung straight into action. Special unit.

Ruby: This is so cool.

The Doctor: Hey! Do not. Touch. Anything. Anything. H-h-OK?

Ruby: OK.

Clara: See? Someone needs to go. Child protection.

[ Northumberland Avenue ]

The Doctor: Gifted and talented? Really?

Clara: Furious, fearful, tongue-tied. They're all superpowers if you use them properly. Are they going to be all right?

The Doctor: They're in the TARDIS, the safest place on the planet.

( rumbling and crashing )

The Doctor: If this is an invasion...

Clara: What?

The Doctor: ...It's over. They're here, they've won. What do they want?

[ Trafalgar Square ]

( they cough )

Ruby: I'm not just going to stand here and let her die.

Danny: Who?

Ruby: Miss. You let her go off with some randomer into the forest. You're supposed to be madly in love with her.

Danny: I'm? Who said that?

Ruby: Everyone.

Samson: She's probably dead now anyway. Crushed by Nelson.

Ruby: What if the trees collapse on her, and k*ll her?

Danny: You're worrying too much.

Ruby: Yeah, but what if the wild animals come out and eat her?

Danny: Ruby, you're letting your imagination run away with you.

Ruby: I'm not, though, am I, because I haven't got an imagination. You can ask Miss Oswald.

Danny: OK, then. Come on, team, let's do this.

Samson: We will, if you stop calling us a team.

[ Forest ]

Maebh's Mom: Maebh!

[ Northumberland Avenue ]

Clara: Doctor? Look behind us. The path we just walked down. It's overgrown already.

The Doctor: Clara!

Clara: Why would she put her phone down?

The Doctor: Doesn't want to be followed? Lost a hold of it in a struggle? Left it as a clue, so we would know where she was going? Trail of breadcrumbs. Hansel and Gretel.

Clara: I'm actually frightened. I never get frightened. Why am I frightened?

The Doctor: You just lost a little girl.

Clara: Yes, that is a worry, but I know you'll find her. No, no, no. This is not a worry, this is a dread. Maebh!

The Doctor: You're pursuing a little lost girl through a mysterious forest. The path has disappeared. You find yourself with a strangely compelling masculine figure. Maebh!

Clara: Any minute now we're going to find a gingerbread cottage with a cannibal witch inside. Maebh!

The Doctor: Exactly. The forest. It's in all the stories that kept you awake at night. The forest is mankind's nightmare.

[ Forest ]

( she pants )

The Doctor: Clara. Is it hers?

Clara: Yes. Clever girl.

Man: Get back! We're burning here. Stay back.

Clara: We're looking for a little girl.

Man: Stay back. We're about to burn.

Man: Good job!

Man: What's going on? Trees aren't responding to flame-thrower. I mean, they don't catch fire. They just don't catch. It's like they're flame proof or something.

The Doctor: Trees control the oxygen on this planet. They withhold it, they smother the fire. What sort of forest is clever? What sort of forest has its own in-built fire extinguisher?

Clara: What do they want?

The Doctor: Why now?

Clara: What do you mean, why now?

The Doctor: The whole natural order is turning against this planet. But why? Why now?

Clara: Well, what else?

The Doctor: How did she know this?

Clara: What is it?

The Doctor: This is a massive solar flare headed for Earth, like the one that destroyed the Bank of Karabraxos. I've got an entire TARDIS and I didn't notice this. But she knew. How?

Clara: This is Maebh's. Where did you get this?

The Doctor: You left your marking in the TARDIS.

Clara: Oh, great, right, well, that's just brilliant, isn't it. You don't think Danny saw this, do you?

The Doctor: I've just informed you that a solar flare is going to wipe out your planet. You're worried about a row with your boyfriend. How did she know this? She even put the date on it!

Clara: I always make them date their homework.

The Doctor: It's today's date.

Clara: Well, there must be a way?

The Doctor: They want something. They're saying something. If there is a way, the way is Maebh Arden.

Clara: OK, you know they're not really gifted and talented, don't you? I just tell them that to make them feel good.

The Doctor: She's lost someone. People who've lost someone, they're always listening, always looking, always hoping. So, they notice more. They hear more.

( howling )

Clara: Was that a howl?

( more howling )

Clara: Was that a wolf? No. That is impossible. We're in London.

The Doctor: Would that be the London with the zoo? The zoo with the pack of wolves? The zoo whose barriers and gates have probably been m*nled by the trees? No, wolves are not impossible. Stick to the path, Red Riding Hood.

Clara: There is no path.

( more howling )

The Doctor: Then we're lunch.

( she pants )

( low, soft growling )

( growling gets louder )

( wolf snarls )

( she screams )

Clara: Maebh?

( wolves snarl, maebh pants )

( wolves bark )

Clara: Maebh! Doctor, give me a boost so I can pull her over. Maebh? Maebh!

The Doctor: Maebh. You came looking for me. You didn't...

The Doctor: Maebh, Maebh, you didn't just stumble into the TARDIS. Tell me what you know.

Clara: Doctor...

The Doctor: This is important.

Clara: Yes. Can we please deal with the wolves first?

The Doctor: These are zoo wolves. They're not even used to hunting.

Clara: Doctor!

( wolves snarl )

The Doctor: Right, OK. We've just got to look as if we're too much bother to eat, right? So, stay still. Stay together. Look big. Look big like a big three-headed, six-legged scary thing!

( wolves whine )

The Doctor: Ha ha! Told you they were rubbish. Those wolves are terrified.

Clara: What are wolves frightened of?

( deep, throaty growl )

( tiger roars )

The Doctor: There are very good solid scientific reasons for being really quite frightened just now.

( tiger roars and snarls )

( danny and kids cheer )

Clara: Mister Pink! Why, thank you very much.

Danny: Ah, no problem. Just decided it was best not to leave you alone with him. They've worked well together. Noticeable increase in confidence and energy levels.

Clara: Well done. And for saving us from a tiger, too.

Danny: Er, has she had her medication yet?

Clara: Oh. No, I...

The Doctor: No, no. Not her medication. We don't want to shut her up. We want to know what she knows. Maebh, what's the. Maebh, what is this? What is this?

Danny: Apart from being almost savaged by a tiger and abducted by a Scotsman, she's allowed any nervous tics she likes, OK?

The Doctor: This is not a nervous tic. This is react...

Ruby: Please! Just give her her tablets. She's been in a state since her sister went missing.


Danny: Maebh! Maebh! Maebh!

Ruby: You won't find your sister out there.

[ Clearing ]

Ruby: Miss? What is it, miss?

Maebh: It's coming. It's coming for everyone, and I can't unthink it.

The Doctor: Maebh. Maebh, this forest is communicating. With you. Nobody else. No technology can hear what it's saying, but you can. Tell us what it wants. Where it came from. Just tell me who did this.

Maebh: It was me. I did this. I did these trees.

The Doctor: No, Maebh. You didn't make a global forest appear overnight. How could you do that?

Maebh: Thoughts come to me. Ever since Annabel went missing, I look for her everywhere. I don't find her, but I find thoughts. The big forest was one. I thought everyone would love it. The thoughts! The thoughts! They go so fast.

Bradley: This is stressing me now. When I get stressed, I forget my anger management.

Clara: Maebh, can you see something that we can't see?

Maebh: Nearly. Too fast. Everywhere.

The Doctor: Everything's subject to gravity. If I can create a little local increase...

Danny: No. You're not experimenting on...

( she gasps in wonder )

Maebh: They're lovely! They don't like it when you're holding them. They want you to let them go.

The Doctor: Who are they?

Maebh & Here (in unison): We are Here. Here, always, since the beginning and until the end.

The Doctor: Here? That's it?

Here: We are the green sh**t that grow between the cracks, the grass that grows over the mass graves. After your wars are over, we will still be Here. We are the life that prevails.

The Doctor: Why now? Why are you here now?

Here: We hear the call and we come, as we came before to the great North Forest, where we lie still in a great circle. As we came to the vast Southern Forest.

The Doctor: Who is calling you now?

Here: The sun that creates. The sun that destroys. You are hurting us. Let us go.

The Doctor: You sent for me. The girl came looking for me. Why? Why me?

Here: We did not send. Pain. Did not send for you. We don't know you. We were here before you and will be here after you.

Samson: That was actually quite cool.

( maebh gives a small cry )

The Doctor: Maebh, you came looking for the Doctor. Think. Who sent you for the Doctor?

Maebh: It was just a thought. It was just a thought that came. I think it came from Miss.

Maebh: They've gone. Why does everything have to go?

Clara: This really is going to happen, isn't it?

The Doctor: Stars implode. Planets grow cold. Catastrophe is the metabolism of the universe. I can fight monsters. I can't fight physics.

Clara: Why would trees want to k*ll us? We love trees.

The Doctor: You've been chopping them down for furniture for centuries. If that's love, no wonder they're calling down fire from the heavens.

Clara: But we saw the future. Lots of futures. Earth's futures.

The Doctor: They're about to be erased.

Clara: If you can't save them all, save who you can. The TARDIS. It's a lifeboat, isn't it? Not everybody has to die.

( rumbling )

Danny: ♪ Everywhere we go-o-o! ♪

Children: ♪ Everywhere we go-o-o! ♪

Danny: ♪ People wanna kno-o-ow! ♪

Children: ♪ People wanna kno-o-ow! ♪

Danny: ♪ Who we a-a-re. ♪

Children: ♪ Who we a-a-re. ♪

Danny: ♪ We are the Coal Hill Gifted and Talented... ♪

Children: We are the Coal Hill Gifted and Talented... ♪

[ Trafalgar Square ]

Danny: Right, come on, team.

Clara: When they're done, you need to get in your box and go.

The Doctor: We're all going. We're taking the kids.

Clara: Taking them where? What are you going do with them? Leave them on an asteroid? Find a space academy for the gifted and talented? They just want their mums and dads, and they're never going to stop wanting them.

The Doctor: I can save you and Danny.

Clara: Danny Pink will never leave those kids so long as he is breathing.

( kids cheer )

Danny: Come on, team.

Bradley: Can we take another selfie, sir?

Danny: Of course. Come on, then.

Children: Yes!

The Doctor: I can save you.

Clara: I don't want you to.

The Doctor: What, you don't want to live?

Clara: Of course I want to live. I just...

The Doctor: What?

Clara: Don't make me say it.

The Doctor: Say what?

Clara: I don't want to be the last of my kind.

The Doctor: Then why did you bring us all here?

Clara: Because it's the only way to get you back to the TARDIS, make you think you're saving someone. Well, you know what, Doctor? This time, the human race is saving you.

Clara: Make it worthwhile.

The Doctor: This is my world, too. I walk your earth, I breathe your air.

Clara: And on behalf of this world, you're very welcome. Now, go. Save the next one.

The Doctor: Maebh! I'm sorry that I couldn't help you.

Maebh: You helped me loads. I thought it was all my fault. I feel much better now. Are you going to get rid of the forest?

Clara: Hard to get rid of a flame-proof forest, Maebh, eh? Come on.

Samson: Government crews have been deployed with the latest defo, deefoo...

Danny: Defoliant agents, Samson. They're used to take the leaves off the trees so they're easier to burn.

Bradley: That's harsh.

( metallic thrumming )

Bradley: Where's he going?

Clara: Home. He's going home. Which is exactly where we're going.

[ TARDIS ]

The Doctor: Flame-proof forest... Flame... proof... forest! A thousand atom bombs and no one hurt... I am Doctor Idiot!

[ Forest ]

The Doctor (O.C.): Clara! Come back here! Come back!

Danny: He's calling you.

Clara: Yes. Let him call. This is more important.

The Doctor: Clara! Mister Pink! Maebh! All of you! Quick, quick! Come back. Come back. Come on.

The Doctor: Maebh, quick. Good girl, good girl. Come on.

[ TARDIS ]

The Doctor: It's there on the screen, look. Big solar flare headed this way. A thousand kilometres a second. Coronal mass ejection. Geomagnetic storm. It's huge. It's brewing up a solar wind big enough to blow this whole planet away.

The Doctor: I assumed your teachers have mentioned this?

Clara: I thought it would spoil an otherwise enjoyable walk.

The Doctor: OK. OK. Well, this is the bad news. The good news is, it's happened before. And you're still here. The Tunguska Blast, 1908. That should have blown the whole planet off its axis, but it didn't. It knocked a few trees over. Well, a few tens of thousands of trees over. Curuçá in Brazil. Same story. Earth should have been smashed, but it wasn't. What do these things have in common?

Ruby: They're really, really scaring us?

The Doctor: Trees. Whenever there's a planet-threatening, extra-terrestrial impact, trees. Massive forest, filling the atmosphere with oxygen. Pumping it up like a massive, highly inflammable airbag, so that when trouble hits...

Samson: Everyone dies.

The Doctor: No. The impact burns off the excess oxygen. You have some fairly hectic weather for a few days and some fairly trippy looking sunsets, but apart from that, you will be all right. I was wrong. The trees are not your enemy. They're your shield. They've been saving you since for ever. Protecting you from everything that space can throw at you.

Clara: The wide ring. The red ring. In the museum, Ruby saw a cross-section of a tree. One of the rings was wider than the others, and red.

The Doctor: Atmospheric dust, captured by the trees. The fingerprint of an asteroid. Happy Red Ring Day.

Ruby: I don't get it. If they're good, then why are we chopping them down?

Danny: The Government are sending out defoliating teams. They're dropping chemicals on them right now.

The Doctor: What is it with you people? You hear voices, you want to shut them up. The trees come to save you, you want to chop them down.

Clara: Or you think you need to save the world when it's already saving itself.

The Doctor: I did admit that I was wrong. Excellent. Mobile networks are still operative. Right. We are going to call everyone on Earth and tell them to leave the trees alone.

Maebh: Can I do it? I started it. I should finish it.

The Doctor: OK. OK. Class project. Save the Earth.

( kids conferring )

Maebh: OK. And I think that's it.

( many mobile phones ringing )

( ringing echoes around the world )

[ Trafalgar Square ]

( mobile phone rings )

Maebh (O.C.): Essential services have been disrupted due to an unexpected forest.

Maebh's Mom: Maebh? Where are you?

[ TARDIS ]

Maebh: We'd like to reassure you that the situation will be rectified very soon. Please don't be scared. And please don't chop, spray or harm the trees. They're here to help. Be less scared. Be more trusting. Oh, and Annabel Arden, please come home.

The Doctor: OK, who would like to witness a once in a billion years solar event at close quarters?

Maebh: Mum! There's my mum!

[ Trafalgar Square ]

Maebh's Mom: I thought I'd lost you too.

Maebh: Never. Not ever.

Clara: So, trip to space, anyone?

Ruby: I want my mum.

Samson: I slightly want my mum, too.

Clara: Tell them, Mister Pink, what an educational opportunity...

Danny: You, you go. This. This is enough for me.

Clara: What? Coronal ejections, geomagnetic storms. How often do you get a playlist like that?

Danny: I was a soldier. I put myself at risk. I didn't try too hard to survive, but somehow, here I am. And now I can see what I nearly lost. And it's enough. I don't want to see more things. I want to see the things in front of me more clearly. There are wonders here, Clara Oswald. Bradley saying please, that's a wonder. One person is more amazing, harder to understand, but more amazing than universes.

Clara: Really? What person is that, then?

( kids cheer )

Ruby: I told you. I said so, didn't I?

[ Brompton Road ]

Clara: We could have a picnic.

Danny: You can't. You've got marking.

Clara: Oh. Well, no, no, no. That was, er, from ages ago. You see, what happened was...

Danny: They always write the date neatly at the top of the page.

Clara: Yeah, they do, don't they?

Danny: Last Friday. You were on the TARDIS last Friday. Today, you thought the world was going to end. You still didn't tell me the truth.

Clara: I tried. He interrupted.

Danny: I just want to know the truth. I don't care what it is. I just want to know it. Like Maebh said. Like the forest. Fear a little bit less, trust a bit more.

Clara: OK. Well...

Danny: No, not now. Go home and do your marking. Think about it, then tell me. I saved you from a tiger today. I deserve at least that.

Clara: Yes, you did. And yes, you do.

[ Space ]

The Doctor: I hope I'm right. It would be slightly awkward if the world was destroyed at this point.

Clara: What?

( flames rumble )

The Doctor: There goes the planet-sized airbag. That's the trees, harvesting the solar fire.

[ Room ]

Missy: Now, that was surprising. And I love surprises.

[ Clara's veranda ]

( chirping, fluttering sounds )

Clara: That is amazing. How will they explain this tomorrow?

The Doctor: You'll all forget it ever happened.

Clara: We are not going to forget an overnight forest.

The Doctor: You forgot the last time. You remembered the fear and you put it into fairy stories. It's a human superpower, forgetting. If you remembered how things felt, you'd have stopped having wars. And stopped having babies.

[ Ext. Arden house ]

Maebh's Mom: Annabel! My Annabel!

Maebh:I knew you'd be here. The thought of you came to me.

Clara? Do I have your attention?

You will never step inside your TARDIS again.

Clara, what are you doing?

Time can be rewritten.

Oh, Clara, my Clara, I don't think you will!

You know who I am.

I'm not Clara Oswald. Clara Oswald has never existed.
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