07x02 - Dinosaurs on a Spaceship

[bunniefuu]

EGYPT, 1334 BC

INT. PALACE CHAMBER

The DOCTOR hurries to the TARDIS, followed by an Egyptian woman of high ranking.

DOCTOR: Bye then! Lovely meeting you. Sorry about the mess.

The WOMAN pulls him back and presses him against the TARDIS.

WOMAN: (seductively) You think I'll let you leave without me, (rubs her hands along his chest) after what we've just been through?(runs fingers through his hair)

DOCTOR: You've got the Egyptian people to rule, Queen Nefertiti. (voice gets progressively higher) They'll need reassuring after that w*apon-bearing giant alien locust att*ck we just stopped, rather brilliantly. (an old-time car horn sounds) Sorry! (trades places with NEFERTITI and pulls out psychic paper) Got it set to temporal newsfeed...Oh, that's interesting!

NEFERTITI: What is?

DOCTOR: Nothing! Not at.. Ohh! Never been there, exciting!

NEFERTITI pushes the DOCTOR into the TARDIS causing him to stretch out that last word into a cry.

SPACE

A large ship is on its way towards Earth.

INT. m*llitary HQ, 2367

The ship is brought up on a screen. A female officer, INDIRA, is explaining the problem to the DOCTOR.

INDIRA: Craft size approximately ten million square kilometres.

DOCTOR: A ship the size of Canada, coming at Earth very fast. Any signs of life?

INDIRA: We sent up a drone craft, it took these readings.

DOCTOR: (bends over to read the screen) Crikey Charlie, look at that! Ooh, I know someone who'd love a look. And the Ponds! (walks around screen) Mustn't forget the Ponds! Haven't seen them in ages. (rests arm on NEFERTITI'S shoulder) I'm riffing, people usually stop me when I'm riffing, or carry on without me.

NEFERTITI: Can you communicate with this craft?

DOCTOR: She's with me. Good question, Neffy.

INDIRA: No. No response on any channel in any recognised language. If it comes within 10,000 kilometres of Earth, we send up missiles.

DOCTOR: Oh, Indira, I liked you before you said missiles. How long till the ship gets that close?

INDIRA: Six hours, nineteen minutes.

DOCTOR: Right, better get a shift on then! Leave it with us. Come on then, Neffy! We're going to need help.

The DOCTOR grabs NEFERTITI'S hand and runs for the TARDIS.

EXT. AFRICAN PLAINS, 1902, NIGHT

The DOCTOR runs up to a campsite where a lone man, RIDDELL is sitting in front of a fire.

DOCTOR: More stew? (sits)

RIDDELL: Where have you been, man?! Seven months! You were popping out for some liquorice! I had two very disappointed dancers on my hands! Not that I couldn't manage.

DOCTOR: Riddell, listen, I've found...well, something.

RIDDELL: No, no, no, no, no, no. I shan't fall for that again. (pauses) What is it?

DOCTOR: I've no idea. Do you want to find out?

INT. POND-WILLIAMS HOME, PARLOR, DAY

An older man, BRIAN, is standing on a ladder changing the bulb of a ceiling light. RORY is standing next to the ladder.

BRIAN: I think it's the fitting.

RORY: Dad, it's not the fitting, it just needs a new bulb.

BRIAN: You're wobbling the ladder.

RORY: (holds up hands) I'm not!

BRIAN: I don't want another loft incident.

AMY is on the other side of the ladder.

AMY: How's my side, Brian?

BRIAN: Perfect as ever, Amy.

AMY: Thank you, Brian!

BRIAN: I don't know what he said to you to make you marry him, but he's a lucky man.

A wind begins to blow inside and the TARDIS can be heard.

RORY: (whispers to AMY) Not here! Not now!

BRIAN: Did you leave the back door open?

RORY: (whispers) What is he doing?!

AMY: I'm going to k*ll him!

The TARDIS materializes around them.

INT. TARDIS

The DOCTOR works the controls as he talks.

DOCTOR: Hello! You weren't busy, were you? Well, even if you were, it wasn't as interesting as this probably is. Didn't want you to miss it. Now, just a quick hop.

SPACE

The TARDIS heads for the spaceship.

INT. TARDIS

DOCTOR: Everybody grab a torch!

Everybody grabs torches. BRIAN drops the light bulb.

INT. SPACESHIP, CORRIDOR

The DOCTOR is already examining the area close to the TARDIS when RIDDELL, NEFERTITI and the PONDS exit.

DOCTOR: (watching spider in a web) Spiders. Don't normally get spiders in space.

BRIAN steps out of the TARDIS.

BRIAN: What the...?

DOCTOR: Don't move! (strides over to BRIAN) D'you really think I'm that stupid I wouldn't notice? How did you get aboard? Transmat? Who sent you?

RORY: Doctor…that's my dad.

DOCTOR: (turns to RORY) Well, frankly, that's outrageous.

RORY: What?

DOCTOR: You think you can bring your dad along without asking? I'm not a taxi service, you know!

RORY: You materialised around us!

DOCTOR: Oh, well, that's fine then, my mistake. Hello, Brian, how are you? (shakes BRIAN'S hand) Nice to meet you. Welcome, welcome! (spins around) This is the g*ng. I've got a g*ng - yes! Come on then, everyone! (walks away down the corridor)

AMY: (to RORY) Tell him something, quick. (heads after the DOCTOR)

RORY: Yes, thank you!

BRIAN: I'm not entirely sure what's going on.

RORY: You know when Amy and I first got married and we went travelling?

BRIAN: To Thailand.

RORY: More the entirety of space and time. In that police box.

There is a loud thudding and the ship quakes. RORY and BRIAN follow after the others.

AMY: All right, where are we, and what is that noise? And hello! Ten months!

DOCTOR: Orbiting Earth - well, I say orbiting, more like pre-crashing on a spaceship - don't know, and hello, Pond. (hugs AMY) Ten months, time flies. Never really understood that phrase. (continues on) This is Neffy, this is Riddell. They're with me.

AMY: With you? They're with you, are they the new us? Is that why we haven't seen you?

DOCTOR: No, they're just people. They're not Ponds! I thought we might need a g*ng, not really had a g*ng before, it's new.

They hear the grinding gears of a lift as it nears their level.

DOCTOR: It's coming down.

RIDDELL: What is it?

DOCTOR: No idea.

The lift doors open and the g*ng are blinded somewhat from the light within. They hear roaring and the shadows of two large animals can be seen.

BRIAN: Not possible!

DOCTOR: Run!

The others run but AMY stops when she realizes the DOCTOR hasn't moved.

AMY: Doctor!

DOCTOR: I know! Dinosaurs! On a spaceship!

Two ANKYLOSAURUS come roaring out of the lift.

---

Matt Smith
Karen Gillan
Arthur Darvill

DOCTOR WHO
"Dinosaurs on a Spaceship"
By
Chris Chibnall

PRODUCER
Marcus Wilson

DIRECTOR
Saul Metzstein

---

INT. SPACESHIP, CORRIDOR

The g*ng rushes down the corridor – NEFERTITI, BRIAN and RORY are in the front with RIDDELL covering them with his g*n. AMY and the DOCTOR catch up to them. NEFERTITI sees an opening to the side too narrow for the dinosaurs.

NEFERTITI: In here!

They duck into the niche, the DOCTOR sliding to a stop. He puts a finger to his lips. The dinosaurs roar and thud as they stomp down the corridor. When they come abreast of the hiding place, RIDDELL takes out a large Kn*fe.

RIDDELL: (whispers) I could take one of them, short blow, up into the throat.

DOCTOR: (whispers) Or not. We've just found dinosaurs, in space. We need to preserve them.

RIDDELL: (whispers) And who's going to preserve us?

AMY shushes them both. They remain quiet and still as the dinosaurs continue down the corridor, their swinging tails knocking loose masonry from the walls. They creep back out into the corridor.

RORY: OK, so, how? And whose ship?

???

The view changes to that of the hallway being viewed through a camera. The screen reads "Intruders Detected".

DOCTOR: There's so much to discover. Think how much wiser we'll be by the end of all this.

INT. SPACESHIP, CORRIDOR

BRIAN: Sorry. Sorry. Are you saying dinosaurs are flying a spaceship?

DOCTOR: Brian, please! That would be ridiculous. They're probably just passengers. Did I mention missiles?

BRIAN: Missiles?!

RORY and the DOCTOR motion him to keep quiet.

DOCTOR: Didn't want to worry you. Anyway, six hours is a lifetime...not literally a lifetime, that's what we're trying to avoid. And we're all really clever! Let's see what we can find out. Come on.

The DOCTOR spots a room filled with banks of equipment overgrown with vines and covered in spiderwebs.

INT. SPACESHIP, COMPUTER ROOM

The DOCTOR pulls webs from the face of the screen.

DOCTOR: Eugh! (wipes hand on BRIAN'S clothes)

AMY: How many dinosaurs do you think are on here?

The DOCTOR uses the sonic on the computer and the screen comes to life. RORY and BRIAN stand on either side, looking over his shoulders.

DOCTOR: Oh, well done, whoever you are. Looking for engines. (the screen changes) Thank you, computer. Look at that, different sections have different engines, but these look like the primary clusters. Where are we now, computer? We need to get down to these engines...

The DOCTOR touches the screen and he, RORY and BRIAN are teleported away.

NEFERTITI: What happened?

AMY: Oh, great!

INT. SPACESHIP, BEACH

The DOCTOR, RORY and BRIAN "arrive" on a beach with an overcast sky.

DOCTOR: ..and find out how...

RORY: What?!

BRIAN: We're outside. We're on a beach.

DOCTOR: Teleport! Oh, I hate teleports. Must have activated on my voice.

BRIAN: (angrily) Ah, yes, well, thank you, Arthur C Clarke! Teleport, obviously, I mean, we're on a spaceship, with dinosaurs, why wouldn't there be a teleport? In fact why don't we just teleport now?! (walks off)

DOCTOR: Is he all right?

RORY: He hates travelling. Makes him anxious. He only goes to the paper shop and golf.

DOCTOR: What did you bring him for?

RORY: I didn't! Why can't you just phone ahead, like any normal person?

BRIAN: (re-joins them) Can somebody tell me where we are, now?

DOCTOR: (sticks out tongue) Well, it's not Earth. Doesn't taste right, too metallic.

A large bird flies overhead, screeching.

BRIAN: Is that a kestrel?

DOCTOR: I do hope so.

RORY stands from where he was feeling the ground.

RORY: The beach is humming.

DOCTOR: Is it? (feels the ground) Oh, yes! (stands) Right, well, don't just stand there, you two, dig! (brushes hands) I'm going to look at rocks. Love a rock. (walks off)

RORY: Dig with what?

The DOCTOR holds up his hands and keeps walking. BRIAN pulls something from his pocket. It is a collapsible trowel.

BRIAN: Ah! Well! (starts digging)

RORY: Did you just have that on you?

BRIAN: Of course! What sort of a man doesn't carry a trowel? Put it on your Christmas list.

RORY: (squats) Dad, I'm 31. I don't have a Christmas list any more.

DOCTOR: (raises both arms and shouts) I do!

RORY gives the DOCTOR a thumbs-up. BRIAN taps metal under the sand.

BRIAN: There's a floor under this beach!

INT. SPACESHIP, INFIRMARY

The screen shows the scene on the beach as RORY runs for the DOCTOR. The room seems to have been cannibalized from different ships.

RORY: 'Doctor! Doctor!'

MAN: Did you hear that? Did you hear what he called him? Doctor! After all this time! Bring them to me.

We see a silhouette of a man lying down on a bed.

INT. SPACESHIP, CORRIDOR

AMY, NEFERTITI and RIDDELL are exploring.

RIDDELL: There are clearly more than just two of those creatures. (drinks from flask)

AMY: (slaps him on the arm) Hey, put that away, I need you sober.

RIDDELL: It's medicinal. And I don't take orders from females.

NEFERTITI: Then learn. Any man who speaks to me that way, I execute.

RIDDELL: (grins) You're very welcome to try.

AMY: Sorry, what was your name again?

NEFERTITI: Lady of the Two Lands, wife of the Great King Amenhotep, Queen Nefertiti of Egypt.

RIDDELL: I'll be damned...

AMY: Oh, my God! Queen Nefertiti! I learned all about you at school. You're awesome! Big fan, high-five! (NEFERTITI stares at her) Yeah, bit behind on that. You're really famous.

RIDDELL: Ssh! Listen.

They hear loud, rumbling snorts. RIDDELL lowers his torch and the beam reveals a sleeping T-Rex.

AMY: OK. At a guess, T-Rex. Not yet full size. We're in the middle of a dinosaur nest.

RIDDELL: I propose a retreat. (heads back the way they came until they hear more dinosaurs) Or perhaps forwards.

AMY: Agreed. Just don't wake the baby.

They slowly move forwards and RIDDELL steps over the sleeping T-Rex at the neck. He steps on a piece of paper that rustles. The T-Rex snorts but doesn't wake. RIDDELL sighs before pulling his other leg over and nearly loses his balance. He grins when he is done. NEFERTITI merely shakes her head and continues on.

AMY: Who are you, anyway?

RIDDELL: John Riddell. Big game hunter on the African plains. I'm sure you've heard of me, too.

AMY: No.

RIDDELL: You clearly have some alarming gaps in your education.

AMY: Or men who hunt defenceless creatures just don't impact on history. Face it, she's way cooler than you.

NEFERTITI: And you, Amy? Are you also a queen?

AMY: Yes. Yes, I am.

INT. SPACESHIP, BEACH

The DOCTOR has found the computer and has pulled up the engine readings.

DOCTOR: See! Metal floor, screens in rocks. It was just a short-range teleport. We're still on the ship.

BRIAN: No. We're outside, on a beach.

RORY: No, it's part of the ship, Dad.

BRIAN: Don't be ridiculous.

DOCTOR: Well, it is quite ridiculous, also brilliant. That's why the system teleported us here - I wanted the engines. (turns around, arms open) This is the engine room! Hydro-generators.

BRIAN: I have literally no idea what he's saying.

RORY: A spaceship powered by waves.

DOCTOR: (puts arms over BRIAN and RORY'S shoulders) Fabulously impossible! Oh, think of the things we could learn from this ship if we manage to stop it being blown to pieces.

RORY: Plus, not dying.

DOCTOR: Bad news is - can't shut the wave systems down in time. Takes... (turns around and looks up) takes way too long.

RORY: (studies the screen) If these are the engines, there must be a control room.

DOCTOR: Exactly. (puts arms over BRIAN and RORY'S shoulders) That's what we need to find. (whispers) Now, what do we do about the things that aren't kestrels?

They slowly turn around and the creatures screech as they get closer. They do not look like birds.

BRIAN: Oh, my Lord. Are those pterodactyls?

The pterodactyls are getting closer.

DOCTOR: Yes. On any other occasion, I'd be thrilled. Exposed on a beach, less than thrilled. We should be going.

The DOCTOR grabs the hands of the two men and runs along the beach in front of the cliff face.

BRIAN: Where?

DOCTOR: Definitely away from them!

RORY: That's the plan?!

DOCTOR: That's the plan! Amendments welcome! Move away from the pterodactyls!

RORY: I think they might be noticing!

DOCTOR: Amended plan - run!

RORY: Can't we just teleport or something?

DOCTOR: No, local teleport's b*rned out on arrival. There's an opening in the cliffs over there!

RORY: (to BRIAN) Come on, run!

BRIAN: I'm trying!

When they are within site of the cave, one of the pterodactyls nips RORY on the shoulder. They make it inside the cave.

INT. SPACESHIP, CAVE

Once safely inside, RORY stops and leans against the wall.

BRIAN: Are you all right?

RORY: Yeah, I'm fine. (to DOCTOR) What do we do now? There's no way back out there.

DOCTOR: Through the cave, come on.

The DOCTOR heads deeper into the cave but stops upon hearing a loud thudding.

DOCTOR: That suggestion was a work in progress.

BRIAN: We're trapped!

DOCTOR: Yes, thanks for spelling it out.

RORY: Doctor, whatever's down there is coming this way.

DOCTOR: (to himself) Spelling it out is hereditary, wonderful!

BRIAN: That sound's getting nearer!

The DOCTOR backs up until he, RORY and BRIAN have nowhere to go. Two large yellow robots appear.

ROBOT 1: We're very cross with you!

INT. SPACESHIP, LAB

AMY, NEFERTITI and RIDDELL find another room overgrown with plants and vines.

AMY: Bit of weed k*ller wouldn't go amiss in here.

RIDDELL: Whoever was running this vessel left in a hurry.

NEFERTITI: Maybe a plague came and took them.

RIDDELL: No, there'd be corpses and bones.

NEFERTITI: Unless the animals ate them.

AMY: Whoa, Chuckle Brothers, lighten up, would ya?

AMY finds the computer, presses a few buttons and the machine hums to life. The lights come on as well.

NEFERTITI: How did you know how to do that?

AMY: I've spent enough time with the Doctor to know whenever you enter somewhere new, press buttons.

NEFERTITI: What else have you learned from him?

AMY: Don't stop at button-pressing.

AMY finds a small sphere, places it on a tray and inserts it into the computer. There is audio but no picture.

VOICE: 'One hundred and seventeen years...'

AMY: Data records.

RIDDELL: Ship's owners?

AMY: Could be. Come on, help us out... (hits a few more keys)

VOICE: '..will remain cryogenic...'

RIDDELL hears a muted roar and aims his torch to the corridor where he sees a shadow.

VOICE: '..space sleep... I will continue to work...'

AMY: (to computer) How about a picture? Come on, for me?

VOICE: '..far beyond our mapping...'

AMY slaps the side of the computer and a picture slowly comes into focus.

NEFERTITI: (points at screen) Look! It's beautiful.

on screen appears a male SILURIAN ELDER.

SILURIAN: 'I can't tell how far we have come. Far enough to avoid the destructive impact forecast for our planet. Far enough for me to feel a profound sense of loss.'

RIDDELL: What is that?

AMY: Silurian.

INT. SPACESHIP, CORRIDOR

The DOCTOR, RORY and BRIAN are walking down the corridor ahead of the robots.

ROBOT 1: You're going straight on the naughty step!

BRIAN: (whispers out of the side of his mouth) What's the escape plan?

DOCTOR: Why do we want to escape?

BRIAN: They have us hostage.

RORY: They're taking us somewhere. We might learn from it.

DOCTOR: Oh, you see? (pinches RORY'S cheek) So clever. I missed you, Rory!

RORY: Don't do that.

BRIAN: What if they k*ll us?

DOCTOR: They wouldn't do that! (turns around and taps ROBOT 1 on the chest) You're not going to k*ll us, are you, Rusty?

ROBOT 2: Who are you calling Rusty?!

DOCTOR: Have you seen yourself lately?

ROBOT 2: You try being on this ship for two millennia, see how YOUR paintwork does!

ROBOT 1: Don't listen to him, he's just being mean cos we captured him.

As the robots argue, BRIAN turns around and a look of amazement passes across his face.

BRIAN: Oh, my goodness...

RORY turns around.

RORY: Whoa.

In front of them is a triceratops.

DOCTOR: Ooh. Herbivore, Brian, don't panic. Triceratops. Ha! Beautiful.

The DOCTOR bends over as the triceratops ambles over to them.

ROBOT 1: Shall I sh**t it?

ROBOT 2: We're not supposed to sh**t the creatures, stupid!

ROBOT 1: Stop calling me stupid!

The dinosaur roars and the DOCTOR talks to it like it's a baby or a puppy.

DOCTOR: "Rargh" yourself! Hello, cutie-pie. Who's a lovely Tricey then, eh? (strokes its snout) Yes, you are. Yes, you are.

BRIAN: What do I do?! What do I do?! (the dinosaur sniffs him) What's it doing?!

DOCTOR: You don't have any vegetable matter in your trousers, do you, Brian?

BRIAN: Only my balls.

RORY covers his eyes with his hand.

DOCTOR: I'm sorry?

BRIAN: Golf balls. (takes two from his pocket) Grassy residue.

RORY: What're you carrying those around for?

The triceratops licks BRIAN'S face leaving a trail of slimy saliva.

BRIAN: Urgh! Eurgh! Argh!

DOCTOR: Aw, bless.

BRIAN: Get it away from me!

DOCTOR: Throw one.

BRIAN: Really? (to dinosaur) Is this what you want? Is it?

BRIAN throws the golf ball and the triceratops runs after it.

DOCTOR: (pats BRIAN on the back) And breathe out. (turns to the robots) Right! Take us to your leader.

RORY: Really?

DOCTOR: Too good to resist.

The DOCTOR claps his hands I anticipation as they continue down the corridor.

INT. SPACESHIP, LAB

AMY, NEFERTITI and RIDDELL watch the computer screen as the SILURIAN continues his log.

SILURIAN: ‘Of the 50 species loaded, only one has had any difficulty in surviving. All the others are thriving and we expect them to be able to repopulate.'

AMY: We're on an ark. A Silurian ark.

RIDDELL: Lizard people herding dinosaurs on to a space ark?! Absolute tommy-rot.

NEFERTITI: Only an idiot denies the evidence of their own eyes.

RIDDELL: Egyptian queen or not, I shall put you across my knee and spank you.

AMY: Oh, Lord.

NEFERTITI: Try and I'll snap your neck in a heartbeat.

RIDDELL: Mm. Well, they certainly bred firecrackers in your time

AMY: Aw, no, no, no. Please, don't start flirting. I will not have flirting companions!

NEFERTITI: If the Doctor trusts Amy, so do I. Stop doubting her.

RIDDELL: If this ship was built by...

AMY: Silurians, yeah.

RIDDELL: Where are they?

AMY: Surprisingly good question. (to compter) Display life signs for h*m* reptilia.

The computer screens shows "No Life Signs Detected".

AMY: But where have they gone?

NEFERTITI: Perhaps they found another world, left the ship.

AMY: Why are the dinosaurs still on board? And why is the ship coming back to Earth? It doesn't make sense. What's changed between then and now? Wait - computer, show me the ship at launch with all life signals. Now show me the ship today with all life signals. Thousands less. But why? I mean... Show me both images, then and now, side by side.

RIDDELL: What are you looking for?

AMY: OK, two images, spot the difference. What changed? What happened to the Silurians?

NEFERTITI: (points at new image) The centre.

AMY: Computer, zoom in to the centre.

The computer zooms in and AMY sees something.

AMY: Oh, no.

RIDDELL: What is it?

AMY: Another spacecraft. This ship's been boarded before.

INT. SPACESHIP 2

The robots escort the DOCTOR, RORY and BRIAN to the other ship. There is a gate barring the entrance to the ship. The DOCTOR leans forward.

DOCTOR: Love what you've done with the place down here.

MAN: Let him in. Open the gate.

One of the robots presses a button and the gate slides open and the DOCTOR walks through. It closes after him. Piano music can be heard playing softly.

DOCTOR: It's fine. It's fine.

ROBOT 1: He's not interested in YOU.

RORY: (turns on ROBOT 1) Look, you need to learn some manners.

ROBOT 1: No, YOU need to learn some manners!

RORY: No, YOU do!

ROBOT 2: No, YOU do! Mr...Manners!

INT. SPACESHIP 2, INFIRMARY

The DOCTOR makes his way to the bed on which lies an older MAN. There are cobwebs draped over the machinery.

DOCTOR: Fantasia in F Minor for four hands.

MAN: You know it.

DOCTOR: Know it? Say hello to hands three and four! Schubert kept tickling me to try and put me off. Franz the Hands. Oh, that takes me back. Well, this is... cosy. (walks around)

BRIAN: It's fate you came.

DOCTOR: Is it? I'm the Doctor

MAN: Yes, I know. I'm Solomon.

The computer beeps as the DOCTOR is scanned by a blue light.

DOCTOR: What's that?

SOLOMON: System malfunction, ignore it.

DOCTOR: What happened to you?

SOLOMON: I was att*cked. Three raptors. They cornered me. The robots rescued me, but it was nearly too late.

DOCTOR: Ah, yes. The robots. They're...unusual.

SOLOMON: I got them cheap, from a concession on Illyria Seven. The robots did as best they could with my legs, but... you can help me so much more.

DOCTOR: Oh, a "doctor" doctor! I see. (breathes on his hands) Let's have a look. (lifts the material away from the wounds)

SOLOMON: They chewed through part of the bone in my legs.

DOCTOR: Yes, very nasty.

SOLOMON: But you can repair them.

DOCTOR: (looks at SOLOMON) If you tell me how you came by so many dinosaurs.

SOLOMON: Injure the older one.

DOCTOR: What? (runs for the gate)

INT. SPACESHIP 2

One of the robots sh**t BRIAN in the arm and he falls to the ground. RORY goes to his father.

RORY: Dad! Dad... It's all right, Dad, it's OK, it's OK.

INT. SPACESHIP 2, INFIRMARY

The DOCTOR goes back to SOLOMON.

DOCTOR: I don't respond well to v*olence, Solomon.

SOLOMON: And I don't like questions, Doctor. You boarded without my permission. Now, fix me or the next bolt will be fatal.

INT. SPACESHIP 2

RORY turns angrily on the robots.

RORY: I will take you apart cog by cog, and melt you down when all this is over.

ROBOT 1: (sarcastic) Oh, I'm so scared! Actually, I might be. A little bit of oil just came out.

RORY applies a pressure bandage to BRIAN'S shoulder.

RORY: Stay still. It's just a burn, it's nothing serious. (takes item from pocket)

BRIAN: What's that?

RORY: Well, you carry a trowel, I carry a medpack. It's all about the pockets in our family. This is an ice patch. It cools the skin.

BRIAN: Never seen one of those.

RORY: I look out for cool stuff wherever we go. Some people it's cars and hardware, for me it is nursing supplies. (applies

patch to shoulder) Now...painkiller. Now, this won't hurt. (jabs needle in BRIAN'S shoulder)

BRIAN: Ow!

RORY: I lied. It won't hurt from now on, though. All right. You're done.

BRIAN: (puts shirt back) Thanks.

RORY: S'all right. You get to see my awesome nursing skills in action for once.

RORY'S mobile rings.

ROBOT 2: What's that?

BRIAN: Your phone's ringing. In space!

RORY: (takes out phone) You get used to it. I have to take this. The wife. Hello, Mrs.

CONTINUED, INTERCUT WITH –

- CUT TO:

INT. SPACESHIP, LAB

AMY: Where are you?

RORY: Still on board. Met some pterodactyls and some rusty robots, that I'm going to MELT DOWN.

AMY: Rory, this is a Silurian ship.

INT. SPACESHIP 2, INFIRMARY

The DOCTOR has some surgical tools in his hands.

SOLOMON: How did you get on board, Doctor?

DOCTOR: Oh, I never talk about myself with a g*n pointed at me. Let's talk about you. Your cosy little craft embedded in a vast, old ship. (starts to work on SOLOMON'S leg)

SOLOMON: Very observant.

DOCTOR: I'm a Sagittarius. Probably.

SOLOMON: I'm transporting it to the Roxborne Peninsula.

DOCTOR: The commerce colony. You're a trader.

SOLOMON: I search out opportunities for profit across the nine galaxies.

DOCTOR: Ah, the purple light. That's what it was. An IV system - identify and value: the database of everything across space and time, allocated a market value. Argos for the universe. You were trying to find out how much I'm worth.

SOLOMON: Would you like to know?

They both look at the computer screen as it processes the information. It responds with "No Identification Found".

SOLOMON: You don't exist. It's never done that.

DOCTOR: That's me. Worthless. Unlike these creatures you have on board. Very valuable... given they're extinct.

The device in the DOCTOR'S hand whirs and SOLOMON groans in pain.

DOCTOR: Done, sit up. Very slowly.

The DOCTOR helps SOLOMON sit as RORY comes to the gate holding out his mobile.

RORY: Doctor? Amy.

DOCTOR: (to SOLOMON) I need to take this. (takes phone) Amy.

CONTINUED, INTERCUT WITH –

- CUT TO:

INT. SPACESHIP, LAB

AMY: This is an ark, built by the Silurians. They were looking for another planet.

DOCTOR: Where are they now?

AMY: None on board. I mean, thousands of stasis pods - all empty.

DOCTOR: I'll see you soon.

With a look at SOLOMON, the DOCTOR ends the call and gives RORY his phone through the gate.

DOCTOR: (whispers) Be ready.

RORY nods. The DOCTOR returns to SOLOMON who is standing with use of a cane.

SOLOMON: The pain in my legs. It's gone. I can move them. Thank you, Doctor.

DOCTOR: What did you do to the Silurians?

BRIAN: We ejected them. The robots woke them from cryo-sleep a handful at a time, and jettisoned them from the airlocks. We must have left a trail of dust and bone.

DOCTOR: (closes his eyes and shakes his head) Because you wanted the dinosaurs. (sits dejectedly)

SOLOMON: Their ship crossed my path. I sent out a distress signal. They let me board. But when I saw the cargo, things became more complex.

DOCTOR: Piracy and then genocide.

SOLOMON: Very emotive words, Doctor.

DOCTOR: Oh, I'm a very emotive man.

SOLOMON: The lizards wouldn't negotiate. I made them a generous offer.

DOCTOR: The creatures on board this ship are not objects to be sold or traded.

SOLOMON: I feel like you're judging me.

DOCTOR: You said Roxborne Peninsula, so why are you heading to Earth? You're on the wrong course. Oh. You don't know how. Ha! Brilliant. You couldn't change the pre-programmed course. Without instructions, the ship defaulted, returned home. Oh, dear. The Silurians outwitted you, even after you'd massacred them. So now you're a prisoner on the ship that you h*jacked.

SOLOMON: Not now you're here. You're going to help me to where I want to go, Doctor.

DOCTOR: Little bit of news, Solomon. You're being targeted by missiles. Get off this ship... (stands) while you still can. (walks away)

SOLOMON: You think I believe that? You just want them for yourself. You won't profit from me, Doctor.

DOCTOR: (stops at gate) Don't ever judge me by your standards. (opens gate with sonic) Well, don't just stand there, Rory! (to robots) Hey, he wants to see you. (leaves)

RORY: (to BRIAN) Dad, up!

RORY and BRIAN follow after the DOCTOR.

INT. SPACESHIP, CORRIDOR

The DOCTOR hurries down the corridor and skids to a stop when he sees the triceratops. He runs to it. RORY and BRIAN catch him up.

BRIAN: What're we doing?!

DOCTOR: Just do exactly as I do!

RORY: Doctor, no!

The DOCTOR runs up some stacked crates and leaps onto the back of the triceratops.

DOCTOR: Geronimo! (waves his arm for the others to follow)

BRIAN and RORY look at each other before following the DOCTOR.

INT. SPACESHIP 2

The robots look at SOLOMON.

ROBOT 1: Did you call?

SOLOMON: What're you doing?! Stop them!

ROBOT 2: All right! Don't shout.

The robots leave.

SOLOMON: Useless machines!

INT. SPACESHIP, CORRIDOR

RORY and BRIAN clamber onto the dinosaur behind the DOCTOR.

DOCTOR: Go, Tricey! Run like the wind!

The triceratops bellows but doesn't move. Laser bolts are fired at them as the robots catch up to them.

DOCTOR: (frustrated) How do you start a triceratops?!

ROBOT 1: There they are.

ROBOT 2: I know! I saw them before you.

The DOCTOR tries to get the dinosaur to move. BRIAN pulls out another golf ball.

BRIAN: Tricey, fetch!

The triceratops runs after the ball.

DOCTOR: Ha-ha! That-a-boy! Yee-hah! Come on, Tricey! Woo-hoo!

ROBOT 1: They've stolen a dinosaur!

ROBOT 2: I can see that.

DOCTOR: Come on, Tricey! Faster, baby!

The ball ricochets off a wall and Tricey turns the corner.

DOCTOR: Whoa!

ROBOT 1: They're turning off, we're losing them!

ROBOT 2: Which way did they go?

ROBOT 1: I thought you were looking!

ROBOT 2: No! Now they've got away.

ROBOT 1: We definitely used to be faster.

BRIAN: I'm riding a dinosaur! On a spaceship!

RORY: I know!

BRIAN: I only came round to fix your light!

DOCTOR: Come on, Tricey!

The corridor comes to an end ahead of them and Tricey doesn't seem to be stopping.

DOCTOR: Where are the brakes?!

ALL: Whoa!

TRICEY stops and they fall off. As they lie on the floor, Tricey trots up to them and drops the ball in front of RORY. She moves away and sits down. They stand.

DOCTOR: Good, that worked! OK... (looks around) Where are we now? Ooh. (spots screen) Incoming message from Earth. Hello, Earth! How are things?

INDIRA: ‘Doctor, the ship's coming through the atmosphere. I have to start the m*ssile program.'

DOCTOR: No. No, no, no - don't do that, everything's under control here, turning round any moment. Need a bit of wriggle room on the timings...

INDIRA: ‘I can't do that.'

DOCTOR: You can, of course you can. Tiny bit more time, Indira, please. This ship contains the most precious cargo...

INDIRA: 'My only responsibility is the Earth's safety. I'm launching the missiles. Goodbye, Doctor.' (disconnects)

DOCTOR: No Indira! Hey, come back! Please!

INT. m*llitary HQ, 2367

A countdown has commenced on a large computer screen.

LOUDSPEAKER: 'Target identified. Navigation systems locking on to target. m*ssile launch procedure initiated. Estimated impact: 30 minutes.'

INT. SPACESHIP, LAB

RIDDELL finds r*fles in a cabinet.

RIDDELL: Now these are what we need - dinosaur protection.

AMY: No weapons!

AMY grabs a r*fle from RIDDELL. He hands her a magazine.

AMY: Anaesthetic. These are stun g*ns. You're almost clever.

RIDDELL: Enough to make a dinosaur take a nap. Even the Doctor couldn't object to that.

NEFERTITI: You and the Doctor... Are you his queen?

AMY: No, no, I'm Rory's queen. Wife. I'm his wife. Please don't tell him I said I was his queen - I'll never hear the end of it.

NEFERTITI: And the Doctor, does he have a queen?

AMY: I thought you had a husband.

NEFERTITI: A male equivalent of a sleeping potion.

RIDDELL: You clearly need a man of action and excitement. One with a very large w*apon. (cocks r*fle and heads for the door)

AMY: So, human sleeping potion or walking innuendo. Take your pick.

The women share a smile. On the screen they see the DOCTOR, RORY and BRIAN in the corridor.

DOCTOR: 'That's very bad indeed. Completely unhelpful.'

INT. SPACESHIP, CORRIDOR

RORY is peering at the computer as the DOCTOR paces.

RORY: Doesn't this ship have any defence systems installed?

DOCTOR: Good thinking, Rory! (kisses RORY on the mouth) Computer, show us weapons and defence systems. (computer shows "No Systems Available") Well, that was a waste of time, wasn't it? (slaps RORY on the face) Getting my hopes up like that.

RORY: What ship doesn't have weapons?

DOCTOR: The ancient species, Rory - still full of hope.

BRIAN: What about the control deck? You said we should go to the control deck next.

DOCTOR: (st*lks away from computer) It's too late, it won't make any difference.

RORY: We could at least try.

DOCTOR: It won't work, Rory. The missiles are locked on.

RORY: So, what? We're just giving up?

DOCTOR: I don't know. I don't know.

There's a flash of light and SOLOMON is there with the robots.

SOLOMON: You were telling the truth, Doctor. Earth has launched missiles. This vessel is too clumsy to outrun them, but I have my own ship.

DOCTOR: You won't get your precious cargo on board, though. It'll just be you and your metal tantrum machines.

ROBOT 1: We do not have tantrums!

SOLOMON: Shut up! (walks up to the DOCTOR using canes) You're right, Doctor. I can't keep the dinosaurs and live myself. But I had the IV system scan the entire ship and it found something even more valuable. Utterly unique. I don't know where you found it or how you got it here, but I want it.

DOCTOR: I don't know what you're talking about.

RORY: Earth Queen Nefertiti of Egypt.

INT. SPACESHIP, LAB

AMY, NEFERTITI and RIDDELL are watching the exchange on-screen.

SOLOMON: 'A face stamped across history.'

INT. SPACESHIP, CORRIDOR

SOLOMON: Give her to me and I'll let the rest of you live.

DOCTOR: (leans in and whispers) No.

SOLOMON: You think I won't punish those who get in my way? Whatever their worth?

One of the robots steps forward at SOLOMON'S subtle nod and sh**t Tricey. The DOCTOR, RORY and BRIAN can only watch.

INT. SPACESHIP, LAB

RIDDELL removes his hat as they watch the DOCTOR walk slowly to Tricey.

INT. SPACESHIP, CORRIDOR

The DOCTOR kneels beside Tricey and strokes the creature as it dies. He walks back clapping slowly.

DOCTOR: You must be very proud.

SOLOMON: Bring her to me. Or the robots will make their way through your corpses. Bring her now.

DOCTOR: No.

There's a flash of light as AMY, NEFERTITI and RIDDELL teleport to the corridor.

DOCTOR: (whispers to NEFERTITI) What are you doing?

NEFERTITI: (walks forward) I demanded to be brought here.

DOCTOR: (grabs her arm) No, no, no, no - no way.

NEFERTITI: It isn't your choice, Doctor. It's mine.

DOCTOR: Listen to me, if you go with him, I can't guarantee your safety.

NEFERTITI: You saved my people. I am in your debt.

DOCTOR: No. No debts, you don't owe me anything

NEFERTITI: Then I do it of my own will.

DOCTOR: Neffy, Neffy, Neffy...

NEFERTITI walks towards SOLOMON.

RIDDELL: No! (cocks his r*fle and aims it at SOLOMON) Take her, I sh**t you.

NEFERTITI: (holds out an arm to keep him back) Put your w*apon down. Let me make my choice.

SOLOMON: Do it, boy.

One of the robots steps forward and RIDDELL lowers his r*fle.

SOLOMON: My bounty increases. And what an extraordinary bounty you are. (reaches out to touch her)

NEFERTITI: (shoves his hand away) Never touch me.

SOLOMON pushes her against the wall, the sharp edge of his cane pressing against her throat.

SOLOMON: I like my possessions to have spirit. It means I can have fun breaking them. (NEFERTITI pushes cane away) And I will break you in, with immense pleasure. Thank you, Doctor. Computer? Take us back to my ship.

With a flash, SOLOMON, NEFERTITI and the robots are teleported away. At that moment, alarms begin to sound.

COMPUTER: 'Hostile targeting in progress. Hostile targeting in progress. Hostile targeting in progress. Hostile targeting in progress. Hostile targeting in progress.'

DOCTOR: (softly) Bingo.

RORY: What is it? Doctor?

INT. SPACESHIP, CONTROL DECK

They teleport to the control deck. Two piloting chairs covered in cobwebs face each other. There is a small post between them.

DOCTOR: OK, Control deck.

The DOCTOR removes the cap on the post and looks inside. RIDDELL takes position by the door.

RORY: So, what's the plan?

DOCTOR: Come on. The missiles are locked on to us, we can't outrun them, we have to save the dinosaurs and get Nefertiti back from Solomon. Isn't it obvious?!

RORY: It's sort of the opposite of obvious.

DOCTOR: 17 minutes before the missiles hit, we need to turn this ship around. (uses sonic on inside of post)

RORY: You said it was too late, there wasn't any time.

DOCTOR: Ah, yes, but I didn't have this plan then, did I? Riddell? Keep an eye out for dinosaurs.

RIDDELL: I was rather hoping you'd say that. (hands a g*n to BRIAN)

DOCTOR: No k*lling any. Rory, Brian, get rid of the cobwebs.

INT. SOLOMON'S SHIP

SOLOMON tries to take off but the ship doesn't move.

SOLOMON: Come on, come on. We're not moving.

Metal clangs against the ship.

SOLOMON: He's magnetised us. We can't move away!

INT. SPACESHIP, CORRIDOR

RIDDELL stands in the doorway. In the distance, something growls. He looks around and sees nothing until a raptor shows.

RIDDELL: Keep walking, big chap.

There's another growl and a second raptor appears on the other side of the corridor. RIDDELL swings the g*n between the both of them. The first raptor growls and more join it.

RIDDELL: Hell's teeth, that's really not fair!

INT. m*llitary HQ, 2367

INDIRA and her team watch the screen.

SPEAKER: 'm*ssile target will be reached in 11 minutes.'

INT. SPACESHIP, CONTROL DECK

The DOCTOR gets up from the floor, slamming his hand on the computer.

DOCTOR: No - don't be like that! Really unhelpful.

AMY: What's the matter?

DOCTOR: Parallel pilot compartments, bio-configured, needs two operators of the same gene chain. That's why Solomon couldn't change the ship's course and neither can we. (BRIAN raises his hand) What?

BRIAN: We can. Me and Rory. We must be the same gene thingy you just said.

DOCTOR: (goes over to BRIAN) Brian Pond, you are delicious.

BRIAN: I'm not a Pond.

DOCTOR: Course you are. Sit down, both of you. Ship does all the engineering, the controls are straightforward, even a monkey could use them (RORY and BRIAN take the seats) - oh, look, they're going to. Guys, come on, comedy gold. Where's a Silurian audience when you need one? Anyway, two eye-line screens - velocity and trajectory. Steer away from Earth, try not to bump into the moon otherwise the races who live there will be livid.

BRIAN: What?

DOCTOR: Primary controls in the arms of the chairs, principle's the same as any vehicle. Eight minutes, 45 seconds. (sonics the chairs to activate them) Get us as far away as you can. (looks into post again) Right, phase two sorted. Now for phase one.

AMY: (walks over) Phase two comes after phase one.

DOCTOR: Humans, you're so linear. Shine a torch in here.

AMY: (kneels) What're you doing? (shines torch inside)

DOCTOR: Mixing my messages. (pulls out wires) How's the job?

AMY: We're about to be hit by missiles and you're asking me that?

DOCTOR: I work best when I'm multi-tasking. (pulls out more wires) Keep talking. How's the job?

AMY: I gave it up.

DOCTOR: You gave the last one up.

AMY: Yeah, well I can't settle. Every minute, I'm listening out for that stupid TARDIS sound.

DOCTOR: Right, so it's my fault now, is it?!

AMY: I can't not wait for you. Even now. And they're getting longer, the gaps between your visits.

DOCTOR: Are they? (reaches his arm inside)

AMY: I think you're weaning us off you.

DOCTOR: I'm not, I promise. (looks at AMY) Really promise. The others, they're not you. But you and Rory, you have lives. Each other. I thought that's what we agreed.

AMY: I know. I just worry there'll come a time when you never turn up, that something will have happened to you and I'll still be waiting, never knowing.

DOCTOR: No! Come on, Pond. (kisses the top of her head) You'll be there till the end of me.

AMY: Or vice versa.

The DOCTOR looks at AMY knowing that is a possibility and AMY looks nervously back at him. The screwdriver beeps.

DOCTOR: Done.

The DOCTOR and AMY stand. The DOCTOR pulls out the "innards" of the post, resting it on the rim. RIDDELL enters the room.

RIDDELL: Doctor? This is a two-man job. (AMY picks up a r*fle) What're you doing?

AMY: I'm easily worth two men. You can help too, if you like.

AMY goes out and RIDDELL follows. The DOCTOR looks at the device he pulled from the post. Resting in the middle is a large crystal. The DOCTOR breathes on his hands before rubbing them together. He reaches in and quickly snatches the crystal.

DOCTOR: A-ha! (throws crystal in the air and catches it)

AMY: (walks back in) Doctor, what're you going to...?

The DOCTOR teleports out. AMY heads back to the corridor. RORY and BRIAN start to pilot the ship using the chairs.

INT. SPACESHIP, CORRIDOR

AMY and RIDDELL guard the doorway as the raptors edge closer.

RIDDELL: Quickens the blood, doesn't it?

AMY: The sooner this lot go back to being extinct, the better.

RIDDELL: You know what I want more than anything?

AMY: Lessons in gender politics?

RIDDELL: A dinosaur tooth to take home. (sh**t a raptor) Dinosaurs ahead, lady at my side, about to be blown up. Not sure I've ever been happier.

AMY: Shut up and sh**t.

In what seems a choreographed dance, AMY and RIDDELL twist and spin back-to-back as they fire at the dinosaurs.

RIDDELL: Duck!

With a gasp, AMY drops and RIDDELL sh**t over her head.

INT. SPACESHIP, CONTROL DECK

RORY and BRIAN are side by side in the chairs as they pilot the ship.

BRIAN: I'm... I'm flying a spaceship. Rory! We're flying a spaceship!

RORY: I know! Ha-ha!

SPACE

We see the ship begin to veer away from Earth.

INT. m*llitary HQ, 2367

MAN: The ship's trajectory is changing.

INDIRA: It makes no difference. The missiles have locked on. How long till target?

MAN: (pulls up clock) Seven minutes.

INDIRA turns away.

INT. SPACESHIP, CONTROL DECK

BRIAN is treating this like a video game, cheering himself on.

BRIAN: Go-o-o! That's it, that's it! That's it, that's it! Me, me, me, me! Yes, yes! This is better than golf.

INT. SOLOMON'S SHIP

The DOCTOR teleports onto the ship.

DOCTOR: Hello! Having trouble leaving?

The DOCTOR presses live wires to the robots.

ROBOTS: (sing) Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer...

SOLOMON stands and faces the DOCTOR.

DOCTOR: (pats one of the robots) Ship's still magnetised, couldn't bear to lose you.

SOLOMON: Release my ship, Doctor, (holds a w*apon to NEFERTITI'S neck) or I k*ll this precious little object.

NEFERTITI kicks SOLOMON'S cane out from under him and he falls to the floor. She grabs it and holds the point to his neck.

NEFERTITI: I am not your possession now, nor will I ever be. Now stay there.

DOCTOR: (saunters over and bends) Don't mess with Egyptian queens, Solomon. I hope you've learnt that now. (walks to controls)

SOLOMON: What're you doing?!

DOCTOR: Disabling this ship's signal and replacing it with the one from the Silurian ship. I send this craft off emitting the signal they're looking for, the missiles will follow. (turns around) Hopefully Silurian ship safe, dinosaurs safe, everybody safe. (checks watch) Bit tight for time though, shouldn't really be chatting. Neffy, let's go. (claps hands and heads off only to pause) How remiss of me, almost forgot - the thing about missiles, very literal, this is what they latch on to. (sets down crystal and pulls out sonic) Now, one press on this and the ship's demagnetised.

SOLOMON: Doctor, whatever you want, I can get it for you, whatever object you desire.

DOCTOR: Did the Silurians beg you to stop? (looks at computer screens) Look, Solomon. The missiles. See them shine. See how valuable they are. And they're all yours.

The DOCTOR follows NEFERTITI off the ship.

SOLOMON: You wouldn't leave me, Doctor...

DOCTOR: (hits the button closing the gate and presses the sonic) Enjoy your bounty. (leaves)

SOLOMON: DOCTOR!

SPACE

SOLOMON'S ship takes off heading away from the ship and Earth. The missiles change direction and follow SOLOMON.

INT. SOLOMON'S SHIP

SOLOMON sees the missiles on the screen.

SOLOMON: DOCTOR!

SPACE

The missiles converge on SOLOMON'S ship and it explodes.

INT. SPACESHIP, CORRIDOR

AMY and RIDDELL stand in the middle of the corridor surrounded by sedated raptors.

SPACE

The spaceship is now traveling away from Earth.

INT. SPACESHIP, CORRIDOR

The DOCTOR leads the way back to the TARDIS. RORY, AMY and BRIAN follow.

DOCTOR: So, dinosaur drop-off time. (opens TARDIS)

RORY: Actually, we think home for us.

The DOCTOR stops in the doorway at RORY'S words.

DOCTOR: Oh. Fine. Of course.

NEFERTITI and RIDDELL arrive.

AMY: Not forever. Just a couple of months.

DOCTOR: Right, yes, I'm pretty busy anyway. I mean, I've got to drop everyone back.

BRIAN: (steps out from behind AMY and RORY) About that. Can I ask a favour? There's something I want to see.

DOCTOR: Oh...

SPACE

The TARDIS hovers above Earth. Sitting in the doorway, feet dangling over the edge, BRIAN eats a sandwich and drinks tea from a thermos. AMY and RORY walk over and stand behind him, looking out at their home. The DOCTOR comes up behind them and watches them sadly.

EXT. AFRICAN PLAINS, 1902, NIGHT

RIDDELL looks up at the night sky, a dinosaur tooth tied on a cord hangs from his neck. NEFERTITI steps out from the tent, hair loose, a r*fle in her hands.

INT. POND-WILLIAMS HOME, PARLOR, DAY

RORY stands on the ladder and blows on the light fixture before inserting the bulb. AMY enters the room with the mail.

AMY: MORE postcards from your Dad.

RORY: Do you know what? I think it is the fitting.

On a wall of photos, they have tacked up the postcards from BRIAN in exotic locations like Pisa and Rio de Janeiro, Egypt and Uhluru. The latest shows the TARDIS in what could pass for prehistoric Earth complete with dinosaurs. It bears the label "Siluria".