01x03 - The Huxtables Have Fallen

Hey, did you see the ratings from last night?

Yeah.

Great, right?

We did great numbers.

Let me get 500 from you.

What happens to the money that I got the state to pay you to take care of Mom?

Get out of my face with that.

Look, I know you don't want me to work with Mark, but I really don't have a choice.

I went to Greg to fight for you to not do Mark's show, only to find out that you'd already stabbed me in the back and used my blood to ink your new deal.

Every second that I'm standing here just reminds me of how desperate I am to be sleeping with another woman's husband.

So what do you want?

For you to marry me.

All you do is make me cry.

Just say you'd have me.

And they say I'm the one with a problem.

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

What are you doing here?

You screwing married men now?

Why didn't you ring the doorbell?

I rang the doorbell.

You couldn't hear it with your head between his legs.

Oh, my God, oh, my God.

Let me get dressed, bro.

We can talk about it.

I said all I need to say.

Good seeing you, Andre.

How do you know my brother?

I used to promote his club.

You're Patrick Patterson's sister?

Okay.

This isn't funny.

No, baby, it's okay.

No, it's not okay!

None of this is okay.

You and me?

Not okay.

I deserve better than this.

I was raised better than this.

I deserve a man I can take around my family or to a company picnic or to the freaking gas station!

Not okay!

You didn't fix the pool light.

What?

You said it just needed to be screwed back in, and you didn't do it.

Babe, why are you concerned with a pool light?

Why are you not concerned about a pool light?

Anything else you want me to do?

You should have awakened me, I'd have joined you.

Is that a no?

It's a "not like this."

So we're set.

Mary Jane will do dessert and Niecy will coordinate food and I'll deliver the package at exactly 6:45.

Surprise!

Just practicing, I love surprise parties.

Keep it down, he'll hear.

Okay, so shall I make my amazing red velvet cake or my unbelievable German chocolate?

He loves your German chocolate.

Red Velvet, sweetheart.

It's his favorite.

I'll make both, so he doesn't have to choose between amazing and unbelievable.

Grandma, I need money for Daddy's gift.

The fact he's living here rent-free should be all the gift he needs.

Mom, don't worry about it, I got it.

Got what?

Nothing.

Well, I'm glad you all are here.

I need an eight-letter word for unfaithful.

Hint... it's not one of the seven deadly sins.

Mmm, adultery.

Adultery. Why didn't I think of that?

Pauletta, why didn't you think of that?

I don't know, Patrick.

You would think with 42% of married people engaged in affairs, and roughly 20% of the single women sleeping with married men, it would be high on my list.

Why?

You having an affair?

Yeah, Patrick.

You having an affair?

No, Tracy, no.

Mom, what do you think of adultery?

I think anyone vile enough to break their marriage vows, and anyone stupid enough to help them, deserve all the ill will heaven will spare.

Hey, Patrick, can I talk to you for a second?

Me?

Mm-hmm.

Sure.

You're out of bounds, Patrick.

I call it fun.

Why has everything always been so black and white with you?

He's married, you're screwing him.

I'd say the grays escape me.

Yes, okay, yes, he is married.

But it's not what you think.

Oh, let me guess.

He's gonna leave his wife for you.

You know what, how much?

How much to buy your silence, huh?

Well, damn.

Is it that good you're willing to pay for it?

Yes, yes, it is, so how much?

How about 30 grand?

I know that the way you've led your life, you're not used to having the moral high ground, but don't be dumb.

Was that a backhanded crackhead joke?

I believe it was.

Patrick, please, I am begging you.

Do not tell Mom or Dad about any of this, please.

What are you doing?

Just stop it.

He says he loves me, and I believe him.

Forget you, Patrick.

No, no, it's just...

You remind me of someone I used to know.

Who?

Me.

You're an addict, Mary Jane.

What?

I don't know if your drug of choice is the passion, the thrill of the affair or the man himself, but there's a void he's filling in your life and you're hooked.

Oh, great, so just because you were an addict, I gotta be an addict now.

No, no, no, I'm an addict because I love cocaine.

You're an addict because you exhibit the classic traits of addiction.

The secrets, the lies, the perpetual attempts to quit.

What else?

The isolation.

I'm probably the only one in your life who knows.

You have a problem.

You need a 12-step.

That's ridiculous.

Classic denial.

It's worse than I thought.

Okay, look, whatever, Patrick.

Promise me...

This stays between us.

Please.

I promise.

Thank you.

You never told me why you came by the house yesterday.

I wanted to bounce an idea off of you, but it's cool, it's cool.

You sure?

Yeah, yeah, I'm good.

What the hell is this thing?

Miss Lynch?

Get off my desk, Julian.

Sorry.

Just comparing the chemicals in those bars.

What's up?

I came across this story and...

I don't know.

It's like she's speaking to me, asking me to make sure this never happens...

I don't need the poetry, I just need the pitch.

Okay?

Samantha Haven, 38-year-old woman found dead in her apartment, still watching TV after three whole years of not being missed.

But what's the angle?

Samantha Havens, 38-year-old woman found dead in her apartment, still watching TV after three whole years of not being missed.

Yeah, but she died three years ago, so what makes this newsworthy today?

It's been turned into a documentary, and it is about to open up...

Oh, my God.

Who doesn't have a documentary?

Why isn't Cynthia doing this?

Full disclosure...

It got bumped by a piece on Beyonce's documentary.

Okay, no, that's called advertising, honey.

All right.

Leave me with the research, I will look into it.

Gotta get to my 10:30.

And here, take this one, it has more sugar.

It'll keep your energy up.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Peanut.

Love peanut.

He does know about the meeting, right?

Yep.

And you have no idea where he is.

You know, wait.

Let me check.

Looked everywhere.

I didn't lobby for this job, Sawyer.

You didn't turn it down either.

I saved this show and I saved your job too, so you're welcome.

Have you seen Mark?

No.

I can't believe I'm being given a slip by a frickin' human Ken doll.

This is so embarrassing.

Unbelievable.

So, listen.

What if I tell you an attractive 38-year-old woman with a family, an ex-fiance, a good education, dies one night watching Showtime.

Wait.

Three years later, they go to evict her, and they find her skeleton on the couch with Showtime still playing on the TV.

No foul play.

She just died, alone, and nobody missed her.

Damn.

Yeah.

That's kind of un-frickin-believable.

Right?

Nobody broke the story?

Well, she was found two years ago.

But, breaking news... a filmmaker from England did a documentary and it's opening at the Bend Film Festival in Oregon.

Oh, the Bend Film Festival.

Yes.

Does every city have a film festival?

Exactly.

So, we lost our death row story for Thursday.

So, I thought maybe we could plug this one in and stick with the theme.

Kara, the last thing I want to do is an expose on lonely women.

I feel like I'm becoming the go-to girl for obscure female issues, come on.

Okay, valid point, and if that's why you want to pass, that's fine.

But I don't think this is just a women's issue.

I think this is universal.

The world is becoming so disconnected and so isolated that it's not surprising that this happened.

But what is surprising is that it doesn't happen more often.

We need these stories, Mary Jane.

They keep us sensitive.

That's beautiful, Kara.

Thank you.

I stole it.

I just caught a clip of Jesse Jackson giving a speech about the desensitization of the youth of America, or something like that.

Anyway, listen.

I think this is a great story, and I think we should do it.

Let me sleep on it.

Okay.

I'll keep hope alive.

That's awful.

I know.

Dad?

Yeah, son?

You got a minute?

Time is an asset I have in abundance these days.

Think we could call off this party?

Well, so much for surprises.

How'd you find out?

Too many people being far too nice.

Wasn't hard.

Well, your mother's been looking forward to this for a while now.

I think you should let this happen.

I just don't think I deserve a pat on the back for doing what should be expected.

Probably not.

But live another three decades and you'll learn that every celebration of you is not necessarily for you.

What if I don't show?

For 14 years, our standard prayer has been, "God, save our son from this demon."

Your mother thinks that two years of answered prayers is worth celebrating.

And I tend to agree with her.

This party will happen, and you will be surprised.

I first read about her in a weekly.

It was the tiniest, little mention, and I fell in love with her.

Moreover, I fell in love with her story and simply had to tell it.

So I-I first tried to find family, friends, anyone who knew her.

...Miss Haven, hi, hi.

I'm Dana Schultz.

I've been trying to call you.

Miss Haven.

Can you tell us why you didn't contact your sister for over five years?

You're her only surviving family.

Can you offer no comment?

Miss Haven?

Do you even care how she died?

Samantha was full of life.

I still can't believe it.

Why do you think it is that you didn't get in touch or call?

I could lie and say I was busy or thoughtless, but the truth is... we got into a fight.

Do you love her?

I did.

Kara, hey, it's me, no need to respond.

I just wanted to let you know, you were right.

We're doing this story.

Why are you avoiding me?

I'm not avoiding you.

Really?

'Cause you missed our meeting and you won't return my calls.

I was in traffic, okay?

You left before I arrived.

I was just about to call you to reschedule.

Okay, here I am.

All right.

How's Monday, say four-ish?

How does that work?

I'm not the one in trouble here, Mark.

It's not my ass that's on the line.

Now, if you don't want to do the work, then at least be man enough to say it.

You know, my ass doesn't need saving or fixing or tweaking or mending or changing.

I'm a newsman.

I just want to do the news.

Greg is waiting for a status report, and I will be giving him one tomorrow.

So you just let me know what you want it to say.

♪ I would search forever ♪
♪ But you're already gone... ♪

In the film, you said, she came home, prepared dinner and disappeared into the afterlife.

What was her last meal?

There was a half-eaten pizza, which could have been delivered about 6:00 or so, what could have been salad in a bowl, and an open bottle of wine on the table.

Reverend Jackson, it's doubtful we could have prevented this death, but to go undiscovered for this long...

You know, when I think about it, I'm not surprised and yet, while no one person is responsible for her demise or death, we must all share responsibility and lift a finger up and make sure her life and legacy is not in vain.

That tech conference this week in the Silicon Valley will host some of the largest tech companies in the world, but Reverend Jackson, are they at fault for this culture of loneliness or worse, is social media dangerous?

You know, technology at its best connects us.

At its worst, it makes us disconnect and less sensitive.

The bottom line is some change is good, some is not.

We must go forward by hope and not backwards by fear.

Because of desensitizing technology, that's why this young woman could go unnoticed and ignored for so long, indeed for much too long.

That's really nice.

Thanks, guys.

Those Grill Master utensils are professional-grade.

Hmm.

And we got you the hat, apron monogrammed.

Try it on, Daddy.

Ahh...

Yeah!

There you go!

That's nice.

Hey, guys, guys.

I promise I'll be quick.

Please.

Six years ago, I met Patrick at the Mercy House Rehab Center.

I was having a really bad day.

He must have saw it on my face 'cause he came over and told me to smile, that everything has a way of working out.

Six years and a beautiful baby girl later, I have been smiling ever since.

I know it's a struggle, but today and every day for the past two years, you're winning.

To Patrick.

To Patrick!

Speech, speech, speech!

Thanks... thanks.

Of course I'm going to give you kisses when I get home.

Don't give Sylvia a hard time, okay?

All right, Pumpkin, I love you.

Kisses.

Bye.

The first interview that I ever did was... with Taj Owens.

He was a two-bit thief who witnessed a drive-by.

I was an intern in Kansas City.

Interview lasted 23 seconds.

My boss loved it.

He said that I had the gift and if I worked really hard, I could be the next Bernard Shaw.

Taj Owens.

Rachel Nunez.

Hillary Clinton.

Colin Powell.

I remember every name of every person I've ever interviewed, no one person is more important than the next.

And after 17 years, it's really hard to change.

I understand.

Mark...

Your show isn't interesting.

It hasn't been for quite some time.

Foreign policy, that's my content.

And America just fell asleep.

Women think you're dull, men think you're arrogant, and kids just think you should just retire.

It is really hard to tap dance for people when you're talking about hundreds of thousands dead in Syria.

Maybe it is not me... maybe it's them.

They may be shallow.

But we need them.

So... how do we make the French invading Mali sexy?

And we need to carve out a pop culture segment in your show.

Oh, I should have known, there you go.

I knew there had to be a catch.

Look, I don't do that.

That's what you and Mary Jane do.

I knew you'd probably have me stand up or sit down or do something on that stupid board, but damn!

The good news is you didn't get fired.

Charlie did.

Don't you get it?

All those great interviews you did on the ground in Kuwait, reporting from aircraft carriers... hell, Mary Jane won't even go out in the rain.

You are the newsiest newsman we've got, so listen.

Let me help you so you can help us care more about real genocides than "Real Housewives".

Really pouring it on thick.

All right.

When do we start?

That's what I'm talking about!

All right.

Got a second for an old friend?

Hey, come in.

How are you, Cynthia?

Well, 10 years older and 12 pounds heavier than I want to be, but I am still working.

I would sell my soul for those legs.

Well, these legs would cost a lot more than that, but if you ever are in the market for a nice nip and a nice tuck, I have the perfect man for you.

You're lying.

You didn't?

I did.

My nose and my neckline.

Oh, my God, I can't even tell.

I'm not sure that's good.

But when you're closer to 50 than you are to 40, you take every lie that's offered.

So what brings you slimming my way?

I wanted to compliment you on the Samantha Haven story.

You found an angle that I never saw.

Impressive.

Thank you.

Coming from you, that means...

Thank you.

Well, thank me by not taking my job one day.

Or at least not telling anyone that I bought this nose.

You're the face of the network.

Somehow I think you're safe, on both counts.

Oh, um, and one more thing.

I had Greg fire Julian.

With all of the career uncertainty around here, loyalty is at a premium, and I think it's important we each stay in our own lane, don't you agree?

I do.

It is so good to see you, Mary Jane.

I know we're busy, but us girls need to stick together, for no other reason than we need someone to check on us and make sure we're not dead.

Her bills were on direct debit.

No one checked on her until hr account was overdrawn.

Her name is Samantha Havens, and for 1,113 days, she went unmissed.

"How many times have you indulged in inappropriate activity in the last seven days?"

She had a full life.

No one noticed she was gone.

"Do you have the urge to partake right now?"

Yes.

"If you could partake in the inappropriate activity right now without consequence, would you?"

Uh, hell yeah... twice.

"Being as honest as possible, do you want to quit your behavior?"

No.

I'd search forever
But you're already gone...

It's basically a remodeled shipping container.

I'm thinking, two waitresses... they'll be hot... a bartender and a gourmet chef.

To be honest, Patrick, I think it's a food truck.

It's an upscale mobile lounge.

And it's a game changer.

The Atlanta market is wide open.

But the capital investment is steep, the risk is off the charts, and I would imagine that the resale market for mobile lounges isn't very good.

Did you see the numbers?

We're talking instant franchise.

I see the numbers.

I also see a $30,000 investment for both me and Curtis.

Patrick, you don't have the cash, you don't have the credit, you haven't run a successful business in over a decade.

We're taking all the risk.

What are you bringing to the table?

I brought the idea.

And don't forget, it was my idea that launched you and Curtis in the first place.

That club made you who you are.

Yes, and if you would have sold when we did, like we asked you to, we wouldn't be doing this dance.

We'd still be partners.

Maybe I didn't make myself clear.

I had a number in my phone.

I need that number.

I erased all trace of that number from my life.

Okay?

I do not remember it.

I did not back it up, okay?

And I am one more idiotic question away from completely blowing a gasket.

A cloud?

What, what is, what is, what's a cloud?

Okay, okay, okay, okay.

All right.

Okay, okay.

So it backs up all of my information.

No.

No, thank you.

You are a lifesaver.

I'll take it to Curtis and I'll see what he says.

We'll get back to you.

I got this.

Hold on, hold on.

My life is not so bad I can't buy you a drink.

It was good seeing you again, Patrick.

Take care of yourself, hmm?

Hello.

I need someone to talk to.

Wanna come over?

Hi.

I'm Mary Jane and I am an addict.

Hello, Mary Jane.

What do you do when you're jonesing?

Jonesing?

Yeah, like jonesing, like fiending, like scraping the bottom, like right when you're about to fall.

What do you do?

That's an easy one.

I'll show you.

Wait, wait.

Oh, that don't work.

Hold on.

Aunt Toni's house?

What?

Are you joking?

Aunt Toni's great, and she'll love seeing you.

My hair will smell like fried fish and chitlins and you know Uncle Ron will try to feel me up.

Come on, man.

Suit yourself.

Patrick.

This isn't funny, ser...

Well, wait.

Come on, girl.

Aren't you gonna click the alarm?

Uh-huh, "beep-beep".

Come in, the door's open.

Mmm, smells like good eating in here!

You are just in time.

Smothered chicken on the stove and cabbage in the pot.

Pauletta!

Girl.

Baby, I ain't seen you since, what, we stopped by your Daddy's last Christmas?

You know, I've been super busy with work and everything.

Yeah, well, we're all busy now.

Here you go, Auntie.

Brought you some fish.

Thank you, baby.

How you living, Cuz?

Hey, just doing life.

No complaints.

We need to talk, man, we need to talk.

Pauletta.

Hey, Amir, how are you?

Good, good, how are you?

Hanging in there.

Good.

Oh, now look at who done got lost.

Got a superstar in the house, y'all.

Okay.

Good to see you, good to see you.

Good to see you, Uncle Ron.

I'm surprised Queen Helen let y'all out of the castle.

Maybe if I beg, she'll let my brother stop by for a visit.

Oh, hold up, now.

Patrick, come here.

Come stir this cabbage here for me for 30 seconds.

Pauletta, grab some plates, baby.

Put 'em on the table for me.

Romero, tell them children to wash their hands.

Dinner's ready.

Hey, y'all, come on in.

Look how tall you done got.

What is happening?

Okay, I get it.

Can we please go?

Not 'til Aunt Toni whips out her banana pudding.

Oh, you start getting old, the first thing to go is your feet.

Oh!

Y'all ready for dessert?

Thought you'd never ask.

All right.

Whoa!

Okay, naked guy, nobody cares.

All right.

Ron, Fred's getting naked again.

You don't remember Fred?

No, I don't remember Fred.

Aunt Toni's been taking care of him for years.

He's an outpatient from Memorial.

Rents the back room.

Good to know.

Come on, Fred.

I, I want...

I'll get you something, buddy.

Toni, would please fix Fred a plate?

I know, I'll get him something.

Hey, Tanisha.

Laconta.

I know...

Laconta.

Hey.

Hi.

No problem.

Lead the way.

How you doing, baby?

I'm good, I'm good.

Yeah?

You're still holding on, right?

Yeah, still holding on.

That's good.

'Cause you know Aunt Toni's always praying for you.

Is not.

Is too!

Is not.

Is too!

Is not!

Is too!

Stop lying.

Would you please tell this drama queen you're my cousin?

Who you calling drama queen, big head?

Oh, okay, okay, calm down.

Everybody take a corner. First, no more name-calling, all right?

Second, yes, both of these beautiful young ladies are my cousins.

Prove it.

Okay.

Tanisha and Laconta's dad, Romero, he's my cousin, and his mom, Aunt Toni, well, that's my father's youngest sister.

See, I told you I was related to somebody famous.

If you're her cousin, why haven't I ever seen you around?

Have a seat.

What's your name?

Kashari Amber Wallace.

Well, Kashari, uh... that's a really good question... and I don't know.

I'm not ready to go home.

Not yet.

Okay.

Oh, man.

You couldn't tell me and Lisa nothing.

We used to go straight to the front of the line, free drinks, VIP.

Everybody in Atlanta was up in here.

Yeah... true dat, true dat.

You need to leave him alone.

I'm already in love with him.

You're not.

I am.

That's why I feel so stupid.

I didn't see it coming.

This is what happens when you don't see it coming.

I was the man.

Had the money, the spot, the house, the wife.

Even proved Dad wrong.

My game was popping.

I was a king of Atlanta.

That's what I was addicted to.

The cocaine was just a midnight friend when no one else was around, made me feel good.

I know you're afraid.

No one wants to be alone, I get it.

He's not worth it.

He proposed.

Gave me a ring and the whole nine.

Don't laugh, please.

Dad's miserable, Mom's sick, cokehead son and a daughter who's sleeping with a married man.

Oh, how the Huxtables have fallen.

I didn't say yes.

What if I told you I was going to do it again?

What?

New business, new dream, new opportunity to bury old demons.

I'd say I believe you and... if there's anything you need, I'm here for you.

You mean that?

Yeah.

You're here for me.

Okay.

I need...

I need you to promise me that if you feel yourself slipping, you'll call me, not Andre.

I promise.

I promise!

All right, I'm gonna hold you to that.

Hmm.

Yeah...

These was the days.

Do you realize it is two-something in the morning?

I'm sorry.

You think we can revisit me getting a key?

Let me think on it.