2011-03-18 - Space and Time

Doctor Who Special Episode transcripts. This collection spans from November 25, 1983 to present.*

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The further adventures of the renegade Time Lord, Doctor Who and his companions, from cross-overs to Christmas Specials. 2016-12-25 - "The Return of Doctor Mysterio"


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2011-03-18 - Space and Time

Post by bunniefuu »

Amy Pond: Hey you.

The Doctor: Hey

Amy Pond: Listen, can we talk?

The Doctor: ROREEEY!

Amy Pond: No shut up. I've just got a question, that's all.

Rory (O.C.): You OK up there?

The Doctor: Yeah, fine, no problem.

Amy Pond: What are you doing?

Rory: Helping the Doctor! ( Rory is helping the Doctor fly the TARDIS ) Ahm ... it's humming, is that OK?

The Doctor: Yeah, it's fine, we're just entering conceptual space. Imagine a banana. Or anything curved. Actually, don't, cause it's not curved or like a banana. Forget the banana!

Amy Pond: Ahm ... is he helping you fly the TARDIS?

The Doctor: Oh, test of the couplings two, seven and eleven. Like I showed you.

Amy Pond: How come he gets to go? You never let me have a go!

Rory Williams: Uh Doctor, don't. Seriously, I let her drive my car once.

Amy Pond: Yeah, to the end of the road.

Rory Williams: Where, according to Amy, there was an unexpected house.

Amy Pond: Aw, he's jealous because I passed my test first time.

Rory Williams: You cheated. You wore a skirt.

Amy Pond: I didn't wear a skirt.

Rory Williams: A little luck would have worked too.

Amy Pond: No, no, I did wear a skirt, but it was any old skirt.

Rory Williams: Ever see Amy drive, Doctor?

The Doctor: No.

Rory Williams: Neither did her driving examiner.

Amy Pond: Actually, it was this one. It was this skirt.

( dull expl*si*n )

The Doctor: ( the TARDIS has suddenly stopped ) Rory? Did you drop a thermo coupling?

Rory Williams: S-sorry.

The Doctor: Ahhh! How did you do that? I told you don't drop them! I specifically mentioned not dropping them!

Amy Pond: It... it was my fault.

The Doctor: Of course it wasn't your fault!

Rory Williams: It kind of was her fault.

The Doctor: How could it be her fault?

Amy Pond: Because it was my skirt and my husband, and your glass floor.

( b*at )

The Doctor: ( realizes ) Ugh! Rory!

We've landed. The emergency materialisation should be fine, should have locked onto the safest space available.

Amy Pond: Doctor, what's happened?

The Doctor: Safest spot available. The TARDIS has materialised inside itself.

Rory Williams: Is that supposed to happen?

The Doctor: Take a guess.

Rory Williams: No.

The Doctor: That's the one.

Amy Pond: Well, what are you doing?

The Doctor: I've absolutely no idea.

Amy Pond: OK, that is a bit weird.

Rory Williams: That is actually pretty cool.

The Doctor: Glad you're entertained, Rory. Now that we're stuck here for all eternity, at least you won't be bored.

Amy Pond: Wait! What? We're stuck?

The Doctor: Inside of the TARDIS is now joined to outside of the TARDIS, worse than a time loop, a space loop. Nothing can enter or leave this ship ever again.

Amy 2: OK, kids, this is where it gets complicated.


Amy Pond: Who the hell are you?

Amy 2: I'm you ... from your future.

The Doctor: Tell me exactly what's happened.

Amy 2: Well, the exterior shell of the TARDIS has drifted forwards in time. If you step into the box now you step inside the control room a tiny bit into the past.

Amy Pond: I don't understand.

Amy 2: Neither do I.

Amy Pond: But you just said it.

Amy 2: No, I'm just repeating it. I'm just remembering what I heard myself saying when I was standing where you are standing now and repeting it I'm just repeting this, too, and this ... and this.

Amy Pond: Ah, I still don't understand.

Amy 2: You still don't.

( a future Amy Pond has appeared in the TARDIS)

The Doctor: Okay when does this Amy step inside the box? We need to maintain the timeline.

Amy 2: As soon as she slaps Rory.

Amy Pond: Okay.

Rory Williams: No, why do I get slapped?

The Doctor: Because we have to stick to the established chain of events. One mistake and the whole timeline could collapse. We'd end up with two Amy Ponds forever and then what would you do?

( Rory looks questioningly at Amy. She slaps him )

The Doctor: Okay you! Into the Police Box... now!

Amy Pond: And then I become her?

The Doctor: Yes, go, go, go.

Amy Pond: Do I really look like that?

Amy 2: Yeah, yeah you do.

Amy Pond: ( Flirtatiously ) Mmmm... I'd give you a driver's license.

Amy 2: I'll bet you would.

The Doctor: Ohhh... this is how it all ends... Pond flirting with herself... true love at last. Oh, sorry, Rory.

Rory Williams: Absolutely no problem at all.

The Doctor: Now, Amy.

Amy Pond: What's the first line?

Amy 2: Okay kids. This is where it gets complicated.

Amy Pond: Gotcha.

Amy 2: So, is that it? Are we OK now?

The Doctor: No, we're still trapped.

What are you doing?

Rory 2: You told us to get into the police box. From...from your point of view, you're about to tell us to get into the police box. From our point of view, you just told us to get into the police box, which is why we got in the police box, which is why we're here.

Rory Williams: Do I have to remember all of that?

Rory 2: It just sort of happens.

Amy 2: Hi.

Amy 3: Hi.

The Doctor: Stop that! You two, into the police box now. Run.

Amy 3: So. What now?

The Doctor: You two stay where you are.

Rory 2: What are you doing?

The Doctor: I'm setting up a controlled temporal implosion. It's the only way to reset the TARDIS but unless I find exactly the right lever to control the implosion we're all gonna die.

Amy 3: You don't know which lever?

The Doctor: No, but I'm about to find out.

The Doctor 2: The wibbley leaver!

The Doctor: The wibbley leaver. Thank you!

OK. We're back in normal flight, the TARDIS is no longer inside itself, the localised time field is no longer about to implode and rip a hole in all causality, but just in case... Pond, put some trousers on.
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